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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A16799 Strange nevves out of diuers countries neuer discouered till of late, by a strange pilgrime in those parts. Breton, Nicholas, 1545?-1626? 1622 (1622) STC 3702.5; ESTC S104700 16,963 28

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diuers places neare to her dwelling place Now for her diet she vsed most to feede vpon such morsels as most fitted her appetite especially such nourishing meates as best agreed with the constitution of her complexion when in an idle humour one euening she was so busie with a Lobstart that with a surfet vpon the same she fell quezie stomackt and so inflam'd her blood that she grew fantasticke and in a few nights after set many of her Maypoles on fire and in a little time after with the extremitie of passion fell into the Falling sicknesse which in a short time brought her carkas into a consumption and so in a few dayes after into her last lodging in the earth but for any great memoriall of her I reade nothing but that in her life time she had the breaking vp of youth who since her death haue continued their course to their vtter condemnation but since that for any matter of great note more then that shee was a notorious peece of pedlers stuffe the newes being of no importance it is no matter what became of her 4. In the valley of Saint Grineums the great Lord of Lo●zie bush venturing to ride late in the night and not seeing his way fell into a deepe bog where he was so bemir'd that with a cold after a heate he caught such a relapse as that many of his copartners in his passages were greatly afraid that he would fall into a consumption both of bodie and goods a great infirmitie and hardly to be helped But hearing no matter of worth in the man nor any thing but that he liued in all vnworthinesse and died nothing worth the newes being of no importance it is no matter what became of him onely as a Lord of Langdebie●e let him be well boiled and serued in a messe of Bruesse at a beggers table and so let him go 5. From the coast of Careaway neare the Cape of ill Hope there came newes of a little Knight of great valour Sir Walter whet whistle who was of that force that whosoeuer encountred with him if he stood long with him in the end he was ouerthrowne Now there dwelt neare him one Sir Dogbolt Driebread who did oftentimes make a roade into his countrey and vpon a time set vpon him with all his Forces thinking at vnawares to surprise with him of which an euill neighbour to them both Sir Swines head Great swallow hauing intelligence with his armie came vpon them both and so stoutly followed his fortune that he tooke them both prisoners in the field and made them both Tributaries to his greatnesse Whether the newes be true or no it is of no importance and therefore onely fit for the great Foole to feede his humour withall 6. In the vnknowne Iland some twelue thousand miles from the great Bay of Port de Pouero where the watrie monsters keepe their Court vnder water it is reported that in that Land were great store of flesh but little wholesome for the vse of man sauing onely Hares and Conies which well dressed would now and then serue the ●urne for a strong stomacke For most of their other beasts were Foxes Wolues and Badgers and Polcats which were the spoile of many yong Lambs and sucking Rabbets yea and sometime of elder Game They had also in that country great store of Foule and birds of diuers fethers but few of them wholesome or toothsome as Dawes Rookes Crowes Night rauens Shrich Owles Cormorants and Guls which feed vpon Lambs Rabbets Mice Wormes Fish Carion and Garbidge but few of them whose flesh was fit to be serued at any Table of account but among many other Fetherd creatures they had many balde Buzzards which fed much vpon Titrimouses and hedge sparrowes which were no sooner out of the hedge but they would be vpon them and sometime so ouergorge themselues with them that with foule feeding and ouerfeeding they would fall flat on their backes with their heeles vpward so weake and faint that euery Crow might haue a picke at them Now the Traueller into that country who brought the newes from thence being vnhappily by ill weather cast vpon that coast and finding little or nothing to trade for that might giue him hope of any gaine hauing vpon a cold night lien watching at a Coniborough and scarce well and wearie in the morning making haste to get on boord with a fit gale for his purpose put out of an ill harbour and gate roundly to sea and safely returned home againe sauing that he gat such a numnesse in his ioynts and stiffnesse in his elbowes that he could scarce put his hand to his head to take off his hat at the deliuery of his trauell Of which hearing nothing worth any thing being of no great importance I found it serued onely for an idle Foole to fit the great humour of his little wit 7. In the Iland of A Merricat vnder the Equinoctial line in the Straits of Margerian in a swift current between the Lake Maudelina and the mouth of the riuer of Allitia by reason of certaine vnwholesome vapors that arose out of certaine Sulphurous mines neare vnto the sea diuers passage-boates perished or grew so rotten that if any of the passengers made shift to get home again though with losse of their ware and danger of their liues yet neither they nor the vessels were euer fit for any good emploiment or to any seruice of worth but being likely that either they were olde vessels that could abide no foule weather or some small Barkes that were swallowed vp in some swelling billowes since the certaintie thereof is not yet knowne and being doubted that some of them haue bin hotly shot at betwixt wind and water till the returne of the next Gazette there is little to be said to it and being newes of no importance it may passe for a Fable among the like fancies to fit the fancie of such a Foole. 8. From the Desert of Arabia it was reported that the people of that country liue strangely neither by trade nor trafficke fishing nor fowling nor yet by cheating nor cozening but by plaine theeuing so that betwixt them and the Turkes there is such hauocke with killing and spoiling that the poore Friers in diuers places among them or neare vnto them are in pitifull feare of their liues a great deale of land they haue but ill inhabited and Fruit trees but few and the Fruit very watrie and of little or no good nourishment They are commonly well horsed and weaponed for Bowes and arrowes darts and swords but Peeces few or none and therefore being no matter of importance the newes are not worth the noting more then that it is a wonder that they should haue a King among them that may be called the King of theeues For being all outlawes they must haue a strange kind of gouernment which it should seeme is but during pleasure Now to these and such other toyes hee had some odde discourses of
powred out of her belly by her mouth she gaue three or foure gasps and opened her mouth as if she would haue spoken whereat the poore man affrighted started and falling backward me thought fell vpon me and therewithall I awaked And thus ended the dreame of the Labour in vaine to quiet an vnquiet and an intollerable Scold Now this great Foole had also in his Librarie in the bottome of his olde chest certaine Poeticall or rather potticall Dreames put into time but for reason more then for naturall capacities I find little yet such as they were and fitted the humour of his noddle pate as I found them after his death left for a Legacie to his cousins Loblollies I thought good to set them downe in maner and forme following And first A Dreame of a Monkey and a Bee A Kind of Bee me thought did get into a Monkies eare Who was more half horn mad to heare her kind of humming there He pickt he puld he clawd he scratcht he mopt he mowd and cried As if his vgly Mastership would presently haue died But as the Bee came creeping out he caught her by the wing Who for his labour in his hand did leaue a cruell sting Wherewith enrag'd be eate her vp but yet did feele such pain He wisht his hand were well and she were in his head againe When such a face the Vrchin mads with such a rufull looke That with a laughter at the iest I suddenly aw●●ke A Dreame of an Oister and a Crab. VPon the shore neare to the Sea an Oister gaping wide Ley looking for a little food to come in with the Tide But hard by lay a crauling Crab who watcht his time before And threw a stone betweene the shels that they could shut no more The Oister cride Ho neighbours theeues but ere the neighbours came The Crab had murtherd the poore fish and fed vpon the same When wondring that such craft did liue with creatures in the deepe With troubling of my braines withall I wakt out of my sleepe A Dreame of a Foxe and a Goose. A Foxe came to a Gooses pen where she all brooding sat And like a Gossip sought with her to haue some friendly chat And askt her how she did and how her swelling grew so much And he would helpe her if that he might but her temples tuch I pray quoth she put in your head that I may heare you speake Yea thought the Foxe I le teach the Goose and Gander how to keake When putting in his head a dog that closely hidden lay Did quickly catch him by the snout and pluckt a peece away When home ran Rainard to his bitch that lurked in his den And told her that the Goose had bit his nose off in the pen Out slaue quoth she get out of doores doest thou come bleeding hether And say a Goose bit off thy nose and bring home nere a fether When laughing at this mad conceit my thoughts so ran vpon I wakt and saw nor Foxe nor Goose but all were fled and gone A Dreame of a Iack an Apes Buls Beares and Dogs ME thought within a Bearards charge among the dogs and Beares A sudden Mastiffe set them all together by the eares The Beares vnmuzzld dogs vnchaind they fought and roar'd cride Some ran away and some to death the bloody quarell tride The Bearards scar'd to heare the noise came out with clubs and staues The Master came out after them and calld them carelesse slaues When in among them brake the Bull in midst of all the fray And as he met them with his hornes he tost them euery way The master Berard gat him home away the Bearards ran And Iack an Apes came onely in to play the gentleman Who skipping vp vpon the Bull so bit him by the eares That he had more ado with him then either dogs or Beares For to their house the Beares gat home the dogs in kennell coucht And neither dog nor bull nor beare that one another toucht But Iack an Apes vpon the Bull did so bestir himselfe That I awakt with laughing at the knauery of the Elfe A Dreame of a Chough a Pie and a Parrot ME thought I saw a Cornish Chough stand chattring with a Pie Dishuting on their colourd coates which had the purest die The Pie she spake of iet and snow and pitch and milke and chalke Of blacke as inke and lilly white and thus her tongue did walke To whom the Chough replide who knew what stuffe was best to hold What left would staine and what would best abide both heate and cold Spake onely for the Russet coate which country maidens ware Good huswiues and good husbandmen and such as thriftie are And how it makes the souldiers clothes and Courtiers winter weed At lest such as vpon their clothes will spend no more then need But as they thus did chattring stand a Parrot in a tree Cride Hah hah hah ye foolish birds be still and looke on me Behold the colours of my coate how gay I am and fine Your Russet and your blacke and white are Liueries vnto mine With that the Chough cride Haw away and Magpie chattring cride Let vs away this is some witch or wanton child of pride Or else some stranger that so much vpon his colours stands And bring in gaudes for giddie heads to make them sell their lands With that the Parrot spide a foole and flew downe to his fist Who strokt her fethers calld her loue and her most kindly kist Whereat the Chough in feare or chafe away did take their flight And with their stuttring I awakt and all were out of sight A Dreame of three Cocks and a Hen. ME thought I saw two dunghill Cocks were fighting for a Hen And by them stood a right bred Cocke put vp within a pen Their gils were both as red as blood their heads were both bent downe And neither of them but did beare a cocks combe on his crowne But as they spurd it seemd their spight was nothing neare to death They strucke so seldome and twixt blowes they tooke so long a breath The Hen did cackle as it seemd to laugh to see the sight When Chaunticleere in chafe to see so base a coward fight Put ope the pen doore and flew out and beate them both away And trod the Hen and crow'd to shew how he did end the fray And with his Hen he walkes and crowes with such a lustie cheere That not a crauen Cocke durst crow at least if he were neere With that the Cock-master came in or he that kept the pen Tooke vp the Cocke and put him vp and shought away the Hen. When to her came the dungbell Cocks when Chaunticleere was gone Who chucking laught within his pen his sport to thinke vpon And crowa so loud that with the sound the Crauens were afright And I awakt out of my sleepe and all were out of fight A Dreame of a Ducke and a Goose. ME thought I saw