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A65060 The provok'd wife a comedy : as it is acted at the new theatre in Little Lincolns-Inn-Fields / by the author of a new comedy call'd the Relapse, or, Virtue in danger. Vanbrugh, John, Sir, 1664-1726. 1697 (1697) Wing V55; ESTC R23 57,683 90

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shou'd have if I had a good Opinion enough of hers to believe she cou'd do as much by me For to do 'em Right after all the Wife seldom rambles till the Husband shews her the way Const. 'T is true a Man of real Worth scarce ever is a Cuckold but by his own Fault Women are not naturally lewd there must be something to urge 'em to it They 'll cuckold a Churle out of Revenge A Fool because they despise him a Beast because they loath him But when they make bold with a Man they once had a well grounded Value for 't is because they first see themselves neglected by him Heart Nay were I well assur'd that I shou'd never grow Sir Iohn I ne'er shou'd fear Bellinda ●d play my Lady But our Weakness thou know'st my Friend consists in that very Change we so impudently throw upon indeed a steadier and more generous Sex Const. Why Faith we are a little Impudent in that Matter that 's the Truth on 't But this is wonderful to see you grown so warm an Advocate for those but t'other Day you took so much pains to abuse Heart All Revolutions run into Extreams the Bigot makes the boldest Atheist and the coyest Saint the most extravagant Strumpet But Prithee advise me in this good and Evil this Life and Death this Blessing and Cursing that is set before me Shall I marry or die a Maid Const. Why Faith Heartfree Matrimony is like an Army going to engage Love 's the forlorn Hope which is soon cut off the Marriage-Knot is the main Body which may stand Buff a long long time and Repentance is the Rear-Guard which rarely gives ground as long as the main Battle has a Being Heart Conclusion then you advise me to whore on as you do Const. That 's not concluded yet For tho' Marriage be a Lottery in which there are a wondrous many Blanks yet there is one inestimable Lot in which the only Heaven on Earth is written Wou'd your kind Fate but guide your Hand to that though I were wrapt in all that Luxury it self cou'd cloath me with I still shou'd envy you Heart And justly too For to be capable of loving one doubtless is better than to possess a Thousand But how far that Capacity's in me alas I know not Const. But you wou'd know Heart I wou'd so Const. Matrimony will inform you Come one Flight of Resolution carries you to the Land of Experience where in a very moderate time you 'll know the Capacity of your Soul and your Body both or I 'm mistaken Exeunt SCENE Sir John Brute's House Enter Lady Brute and Bellinda Bel. Well Madam what Answer have you from ' em Lady B. That they 'll be here this Moment I fansie 't will end in a Wedding I 'm sure he 's a Fool if it don't Ten Thousand Pound and such a Lass as you are is no contemptible Offer to a younger Brother But are not you under strange Agitations Prithee how do's your Pulse beat Bel. High and low I have much ado to be Valiant feel very strange to go to Bed to a Man Lady B. Um it do's feel a little odd at first but it will soon grow easy to you Enter Constant and Heartfree Lady B. Good Morrow Gentlemen How have you slept after your Adventure Heart Some careful Thoughts Ladies on your Accounts have kept us waking Bel. And some careful Thoughts on your own I believe have hindred you from sleeping Pray how do's this Matrimonial Project relish with you Heart Why Faith e'en as storming Towns does with Soldiers where the Hopes of delicious Plunder banishes the Fear of being knock'd on the Head Bel. Is it then possible after all That you dare think of downright lawful Wedlock Heart Madam you have made me so Fool-hardy I dare do any thing Bel. Then Sir I challenge you and Matrimony's the Spot where I expect you Heart 'T is enough I 'll not fail Aside So Now I am in for Hobs's Voyage a great Leap in the Dark Lady B. Well Gentlemen this Matter being concluded then have you got your Lessons ready For Sir Iohn is grown such an Atheist of late he 'll believe nothing upon easie Terms Const. We 'll find ways to extend his Faith Madam But pray how do you find him this Morning Lady B. Most lamentably morose chewing the Cud after last Night's Discovery of which however he had but a confus'd Notion e'en now But I 'm afraid his Vallet de Chamber has told him all for they are very busie together at this Moment When I told him of Bellinda's Marriage I had no other Answer but a Grunt From which you may draw what Conclusions you think fit But to your Notes Gentlemen He 's here Enter Sir John and Rasor Const. Good Morrow Sir Heart Good Morrow Sir Iohn I 'm very sorry my Indiscretion shou'd cause so much Disorder in your Family Const. Disorders generally come from Indiscretions Sir 't is no strange thing at all Lady B. I hope my Dear you are satisfied there was no wrong intended you Sir Iohn None my Dove Bel. If not I hope my Consent to marry Mr. Heartfree will convince you For as little as I know of Amours Sir I can assure you one Intrigue is enough to bring four People together without further mischief Sir Iohn And I know too that Intrigues tends to Procreation of more kinds than one One Intrigue will beget another as soon as beget a Son or a Daughter Const. I am very sorry Sir to see you still seem unsatisfy'd with a Lady whose more than common Vertue I am sure were she my Wife shou'd meet a better Usage Sir Iohn Sir If her Conduct has put a trick upon her Vertue her Vertue 's the Bubble but her Husband 's the Loser Const. Sir You have receiv'd a sufficient Answer already to justifie both her Conduct and mine You 'll pardon me for medling in your Family Affairs but I perceive I am the Man you are jealous of and therefore it concerns me Sir Iohn Wou'd it did not concern me and then I shou'd not care who it concern'd Const. Well Sir if Truth and Reason won't content you I know but one way more which if you think fit you may take Sir Iohn Lord Sir you are very hasty If I had been found at Prayers in your Wife's Closet I shou'd have allow'd you twice as much time to come to your self in Const. Nay Sir if Time be all you want We have no Quarrel Heart I told you how the Sword wou'd work Sir John muzes upon him Const. Let him muze however I 'll lay Fifty Pound our Foreman brings us in Not Guilty Sir Iohn Aside 'T is well 't is very well In spight of that young Jade's Matrimonial Intrigue I am a downright stinking Cuckold Here they are Boo Putting his Hand to his Forehead Methinks I could Butt with a Bull. What the plague did I marry her for I knew she did not