enter_v into_o the_o world_n but_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o embrace_v the_o motion_n but_o that_o very_a day_n i_o feel_v a_o change_n in_o my_o poor_a soul_n viz._n a_o too_o too_o much_o let_v out_o my_o thought_n upon_o it_o which_o i_o most_o perceive_v in_o duty_n and_o the_o devil_n who_o long_o wait_v his_o opportunity_n do_v then_o i_o be_o afraid_a not_o only_o parley_v but_o get_v entrance_n through_o the_o treachery_n and_o deceitfulness_n of_o my_o wretched_a heart_n and_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o may_v lawful_o settle_v my_o mind_n upon_o this_o it_o be_v a_o business_n of_o great_a concernment_n and_o that_o it_o will_v be_v but_o a_o little_a while_n and_o then_o i_o shall_v return_v to_o my_o former_a temper_n in_o spiritual_a matter_n upon_o those_o delusion_n my_o silly_a heart_n give_v way_n and_o i_o find_v too_o much_o willingness_n of_o soul_n to_o place_v its_o concern_v in_o that_o matter_n and_o so_o i_o lay_v down_o my_o watch_n soon_o lose_v my_o former_a 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myself_o into_o by_o my_o backslide_n from_o god_n i_o have_v not_o time_n to_o declare_v thing_n and_o have_v i_o it_o will_v be_v very_o unwelcome_a to_o you_o true_a i_o hope_v i_o do_v enjoy_v some_o communion_n with_o god_n when_o i_o be_v engage_v in_o duty_n especial_o in_o that_o to_o be_v admire_v ordinance_n of_o the_o sacrament_n and_o prayer_n but_o yet_o my_o comfort_n and_o duty_n usual_o end_v together_o i_o hope_v the_o experience_n that_o i_o have_v have_v of_o the_o treachery_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n will_v make_v i_o carry_v a_o fence_n of_o my_o weakness_n and_o folly_n so_o as_o 〈◊〉_d throw_v myself_o whole_o upon_o the_o wisdom_n of_o god_n i_o have_v thus_o open_v my_o soul_n to_o you_o o_o that_o the_o lord_n who_o first_o for_o his_o own_o name_n sake_n show_v mercy_n to_o i_o when_o i_o deserve_v none_o will_v now_o look_v upon_o i_o in_o my_o low_a estate_n and_o consult_v the_o same_o bowel_n of_o pity_n and_o compassion_n which_o be_v infinite_a past_o the_o sin_n of_o finite_a creature_n o_o that_o he_o will_v heal_v my_o backslide_n and_o love_v i_o free_o god_n be_v the_o same_o and_o change_v not_o and_o my_o hope_n be_v that_o he_o will_v again_o return_v and_o visit_v my_o soul_n in_o mercy_n after_o this_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o come_v in_o again_o and_o he_o find_v his_o former_a comfort_n in_o some_o measure_n return_v after_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n with_o his_o own_o heart_n and_o wrestle_v with_o god_n hear_v what_o language_n he_o begin_v to_o speak_v again_o bless_a be_v god_n for_o what_o i_o do_v enjoy_v it_o be_v ten_o thousand_o time_n more_o than_o i_o deserve_v i_o hope_v the_o dew_n of_o the_o sanctuary_n do_v oft_o refresh_v i_o and_o the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n be_v my_o cordial_n when_o i_o sit_v at_o his_o table_n he_o visit_v i_o and_o his_o banner_n over_o i_o be_v love_n i_o may_v speak_v it_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o rich_a grace_n that_o my_o heart_n be_v in_o a_o better_a frame_n than_o it_o be_v and_o i_o be_o more_o free_a from_o distraction_n in_o duty_n but_o yet_o i_o be_o far_o from_o that_o frame_n that_o i_o be_v once_o in_o my_o distemper_n it_o lie_v in_o want_n of_o those_o strong_a affection_n to_o god_n and_o that_o which_o have_v make_v i_o so_o silent_a to_o you_o be_v the_o fear_n of_o hypocrisy_n lest_o my_o tongue_n shall_v at_o any_o time_n outreach_v my_o heart_n i_o may_v be_v far_o large_a and_o yet_o speak_v none_o but_o his_o word_n this_o i_o think_v may_v prove_v that_o he_o be_v a_o very_a curious_a observer_n of_o his_o own_o soul_n and_o take_v notice_n of_o the_o least_o departure_n of_o his_o heart_n from_o god_n or_o god_n absent_v of_o himself_o from_o he_o i_o may_v tell_v you_o what_o pain_n he_o take_v to_o prepare_v for_o the_o sacrament_n and_o what_o exactness_n he_o use_v afterward_o in_o take_v notice_n how_o his_o soul_n be_v affect_v &_o when_o it_o be_v not_o raise_v what_o care_n do_v he_o use_v till_o he_o find_v a_o 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he_o be_v frequent_o praise_v of_o god_n and_o speak_v well_o of_o his_o way_n indeed_o his_o deportment_n be_v such_o that_o he_o credit_v religion_n and_o commend_v the_o service_n of_o his_o great_a master_n and_o make_v people_n to_o believe_v that_o religion_n be_v a_o excellent_a thing_n and_o he_o justify_v wisdom_n and_o be_v able_a to_o say_v her_o way_n be_v pleasantness_n and_o her_o path_n peace_n 12._o he_o be_v a_o very_a good_a husband_n of_o time_n one_o will_v wonder_v how_o one_o can_v roll_v over_o such_o a_o deal_n of_o business_n as_o he_o do_v not_o in_o the_o least_o neglect_v his_o master_n affair_n and_o yet_o that_o he_o shall_v write_v such_o packet_n of_o letter_n and_o pen_n so_o many_o meditation_n and_o be_v so_o very_o helpful_a to_o his_o brethren_n the_o young_a man_n how_o many_o book_n do_v he_o read_v over_o and_o read_v they_o to_o the_o purpose_n so_o as_o to_o make_v they_o his_o own_o some_o of_o they_o five_o or_o six_o time_n over_o and_o if_o he_o have_v no_o company_n to_o discourse_v with_o when_o he_o go_v abroad_o he_o look_v oft_o into_o his_o pocket_n book_n which_o be_v call_v make_v religion_n one_o business_n 13._o he_o have_v a_o strong_a affection_n for_o the_o faithful_a minister_n of_o christ_n and_o be_v concern_v when_o the_o cloud_n begin_v to_o threaten_v they_o that_o he_o engage_v all_o the_o prayer_n he_o can_v for_o they_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v blow_v over_o this_o storm_n and_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o think_v that_o this_o may_v hasten_v his_o end_n 14._o he_o be_v great_o afraid_a of_o spiritual_a pride_n to_o this_o end_n he_o desire_v i_o to_o keep_v a_o watch_n over_o he_o and_o beseech_v i_o to_o discover_v it_o to_o he_o when_o i_o do_v at_o any_o time_n discern_v the_o act_n of_o it_o but_o though_o he_o have_v great_a part_n and_o gift_n above_o his_o age_n yet_o the_o fence_n of_o former_a sin_n and_o his_o curious_a observance_n of_o his_o heart_n and_o the_o fence_n of_o free_a grace_n 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touchstone_n and_o not_o to_o be_v satisfy_v till_o he_o find_v that_o he_o have_v get_v more_o than_o ever_o any_o hypocrite_n yet_o have_v or_o can_v have_v the_o best_a of_o god_n child_n be_v most_o suspicious_a of_o themselves_o and_o afraid_a of_o their_o own_o deceitful_a heart_n do_v but_o see_v how_o david_n carry_v it_o in_o psal_n 139._o what_o be_v his_o great_a request_n that_o he_o must_v have_v grant_v or_o he_o can_v be_v satisfy_v be_v it_o not_o that_o god_n will_v deliver_v he_o from_o mistake_n in_o matter_n of_o everlasting_a consequence_n so_o psal_n 119.80_o pardon_v this_o tediousness_n upon_o these_o thing_n if_o most_o of_o the_o professor_n of_o the_o world_n do_v not_o split_v upon_o these_o rock_n i_o shall_v pass_v these_o thing_n over_o with_o silence_n four_o all_o that_o die_v quiet_o be_v not_o happy_a after_o death_n it_o be_v no_o unusual_a thing_n for_o the_o wicked_a to_o carry_v their_o false_a peace_n with_o they_o to_o the_o grave_a i_o have_v 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die_v quiet_o because_o his_o conscience_n be_v quite_o sear_v and_o he_o may_v persuade_v himself_o that_o he_o have_v make_v a_o agreement_n with_o death_n and_o hell_n may_v he_o not_o hope_v that_o there_o be_v no_o such_o place_n as_o hell_n or_o if_o there_o be_v that_o it_o be_v tolerable_a may_v he_o not_o make_v himself_o believe_v that_o the_o word_n of_o god_n be_v not_o true_a and_o invisibles_n be_v all_o but_o fancy_n or_o that_o god_n be_v so_o merciful_a as_o that_o he_o will_v not_o damn_v he_o and_o many_o such_o thing_n the_o devil_n help_v his_o servant_n with_o that_o so_o his_o service_n may_v not_o be_v disparage_v and_o that_o he_o may_v have_v the_o better_a advantage_n to_o tempt_v other_o there_o be_v much_o also_o in_o the_o nature_n of_o the_o disease_n and_o it_o may_v be_v god_n may_v try_v his_o own_o child_n with_o acute_a pain_n and_o let_v satan_n buffer_v they_o to_o manifest_v the_o excellency_n of_o his_o power_n and_o their_o grace_n to_o try_v 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of_o grace_n second_o they_o be_v person_n which_o be_v convince_v of_o that_o misery_n of_o such_o a_o state_n and_o make_v to_o know_v that_o if_o they_o die_v in_o their_o sin_n they_o must_v be_v bury_v in_o flame_n three_o upon_o this_o they_o be_v out_o of_o love_n with_o their_o most_o belove_a sin_n and_o count_v that_o which_o be_v their_o life_n joy_n and_o pleasure_n to_o be_v a_o very_a death_n misery_n and_o hell_n whereupon_o they_o set_v themselves_o in_o good_a earnest_n against_o sin_n as_o the_o great_a evil_n in_o the_o world_n they_o believe_v now_o that_o if_o they_o live_v after_o the_o flesh_n they_o shall_v die_v but_o if_o through_o the_o spirit_n they_o mortify_v the_o deed_n of_o the_o flesh_n they_o shall_v live_v upon_o this_o account_n they_o use_v all_o the_o mean_n that_o they_o can_v to_o get_v their_o corruption_n weaken_v a_o inward_a principle_n divine_a life_n now_o he_o begin_v to_o act_v they_o which_o be_v as_o contrary_a to_o sin_n as_o heaven_n to_o hell_n a_o spirit_n of_o ingenuity_n restrain_v they_o how_o shall_v they_o do_v this_o and_o sin_n against_o god_n they_o now_o see_v sin_n in_o its_o colour_n as_o it_o be_v contrary_a to_o the_o best_a good_a god_n they_o can_v see_v its_o kill_n and_o damn_v nature_n in_o the_o agony_n and_o suffering_n of_o christ_n and_o they_o feel_v the_o doleful_a effect_n of_o sin_n in_o their_o soul_n and_o body_n both_o and_o upon_o this_o account_n they_o can_v say_v what_o have_v i_o to_o do_v with_o vanity_n any_o more_o shall_v i_o still_o hug_v this_o serpent_n shall_v i_o still_o sail_n with_o this_o jonah_n in_o my_o vessel_n and_o shall_v i_o after_o all_o this_o keep_v this_o dalilah_n in_o my_o bosom_n no_o but_o o_o that_o i_o can_v hate_v it_o ten_o thousand_o time_n more_o than_o i_o do_v there_o be_v a_o enmity_n raise_v in_o the_o soul_n against_o sin_n which_o can_v be_v satisfy_v till_o it_o see_v the_o death_n of_o sin_n now_o this_o be_v a_o person_n that_o be_v fit_a for_o death_n and_o death_n it_o will_v as_o you_o shall_v hear_v afterward_o do_v he_o a_o world_n of_o kindness_n in_o show_v he_o the_o head_n of_o all_o his_o enemy_n 4._o an_o other_o quality_n of_o this_o person_n which_o be_v like_a to_o make_v such_o a_o bless_a end_n be_v this_o he_o be_v one_o that_o be_v dead_a to_o the_o world_n faith_n have_v discover_v a_o better_a country_n to_o he_o it_o have_v spy_v that_o new_a jerusalem_n and_o those_o bless_a region_n and_o now_o the_o soul_n think_v the_o world_n scarce_o worthy_a of_o a_o serious_a thought_n or_o look_v he_o take_v himself_o to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o prisoner_n here_o and_o the_o whole_a world_n but_o a_o dungeon_n if_o compare_v with_o that_o state_n of_o liberty_n and_o glory_n he_o now_o join_v with_o david_n and_o say_v who_o have_v i_o in_o heaven_n but_o thou_o and_o there_o be_v none_o upon_o earth_n that_o i_o can_v desire_v beside_o thou_o this_o be_v the_o man_n that_o be_v like_a to_o be_v a_o 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keep_v any_o guard_n over_o yourself_o will_v you_o wrestle_v for_o this_o blessing_n o_o what_o courage_n and_o comfort_n shall_v you_o be_v endow_v with_o with_o what_o a_o cheerful_a countenance_n may_v you_o meet_v death_n and_o how_o quiet_o lie_v down_o in_o your_o grave_n be_v support_v with_o the_o hope_n of_o a_o bless_a eternity_n and_o a_o glorious_a resurrection_n but_o i_o shall_v a_o little_a alter_v my_o discourse_n and_o turn_v myself_o to_o the_o careless_a one_o of_o the_o world_n which_o think_v little_a of_o death_n and_o less_o of_o eternity_n i_o have_v occasion_n before_o to_o bewail_v your_o condition_n and_o now_o i_o may_v renew_v my_o lamentation_n as_o fear_v that_o what_o i_o have_v speak_v or_o may_v speak_v will_v have_v very_o little_a operation_n upon_o you_o but_o however_o i_o can_v leave_v you_o thus_o but_o i_o must_v try_v once_o more_o how_o a_o plain_a compassionate_a exhortation_n will_v prevail_v o_o hat_n i_o can_v tell_v what_o word_n to_o 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to_o have_v their_o heart_n wound_v when_o there_o be_v no_o cure_n to_o be_v have_v be_v any_o profit_n and_o if_o to_o be_v quite_o free_v of_o conscience_n search_v minister_n be_v a_o happiness_n when_o they_o be_v out_o of_o the_o reach_n of_o their_o help_n or_o pity_n then_o such_o may_v be_v esteem_v bless_v but_o if_o all_o this_o will_v but_o make_v the_o flame_n hot_a than_o i_o leave_v any_o serious_a person_n to_o judge_n whether_o it_o do_v not_o concern_v man_n and_o woman_n to_o look_v after_o better_a security_n than_o this_o amount_n to_o do_v you_o ever_o well_o study_v mat._n 7.21_o i_o hope_v you_o will_v believe_v christ_n though_o you_o will_v not_o i_o read_v that_o scripture_n and_o what_o say_v christ_n o_o consider_v serious_o that_o to_o be_v a_o heir_n of_o glory_n be_v no_o such_o light_a matter_n as_o most_o judge_v it_o to_o be_v to_o be_v bear_v to_o a_o crown_n and_o a_o kingdom_n and_o to_o have_v a_o good_a title_n to_o it_o be_v a_o dignity_n indeed_o but_o a_o madman_n in_o chain_n and_o rag_n may_v say_v he_o be_v a_o king_n or_o a_o lord_n o_o please_v not_o yourselves_o with_o fancy_n sickness_n and_o death_n be_v come_v and_o then_o you_o will_v know_v better_o whether_o i_o have_v not_o some_o reason_n to_o be_v earnest_a with_o you_o in_o this_o matter_n i_o be_o most_o afraid_a of_o the_o confident_a pharisee_fw-mi that_o trust_v in_o his_o poor_a sorry_a prayer_n and_o his_o own_o righteousness_n o_o that_o i_o can_v but_o shake_v he_o and_o his_o hope_n before_o death_n and_o judgement_n do_v it_o o_o that_o i_o can_v but_o persuade_v he_o to_o maintain_v a_o jealousy_n over_o himself_o and_o to_o search_v and_o try_v his_o heart_n and_o to_o bring_v himself_o to_o the_o
full_a everlasting_a freedom_n from_o evil_n or_o any_o imperfection_n 2._o it_o consist_v in_o a_o complete_a perfect_a and_o eternal_a enjoyment_n of_o all_o the_o good_a that_o our_o nature_n be_v capable_a of_o first_o it_o consist_v in_o a_o full_a and_o everlasting_a freedom_n from_o evil_n or_o any_o imperfection_n and_o here_o i_o shall_v insist_v upon_o some_o of_o those_o evil_n and_o imperfection_n which_o a_o child_n of_o god_n shall_v be_v free_v from_o as_o soon_o as_o ever_o death_n have_v let_v the_o soul_n out_o of_o the_o body_n first_o the_o saint_n be_v free_a from_o all_o sin_n the_o bolt_n shall_v be_v knock_v off_o the_o prison_n wall_n break_v down_o and_o the_o poor_a captive_n set_v at_o liberty_n o_o bless_a jubilee_n how_o glad_a will_v paul_n have_v be_v if_o when_o he_o cry_v out_o in_o such_o a_o agony_n o_o wretched_a man_n who_o shall_v deliver_v i_o if_o he_o have_v hear_v a_o voice_n from_o heaven_n say_v thy_o groan_n have_v pierce_v the_o cloud_n thy_o prayer_n have_v reach_v the_o heaven_n thy_o petition_n shall_v be_v grant_v immediate_o will_v not_o this_o have_v be_v grateful_a news_n when_o before_o a_o few_o day_n be_v at_o a_o end_n this_o shall_v be_v the_o condition_n of_o every_o one_o of_o god_n people_n now_o indeed_o if_o you_o listen_v to_o their_o closet_n you_o shall_v hear_v how_o doleful_o they_o bemoan_v their_o condition_n if_o you_o follow_v they_o into_o their_o family_n what_o be_v it_o that_o they_o will_v most_o desire_v of_o god_n be_v it_o not_o freedom_n from_o sin_n what_o complaint_n do_v they_o make_v of_o themselves_o that_o there_o shall_v be_v so_o great_a a_o unsutableness_n in_o they_o to_o god_n that_o their_o heart_n be_v unsensible_a of_o the_o worth_n of_o divine_a thing_n that_o they_o shall_v have_v so_o little_a love_n to_o the_o lord_n christ_n and_o be_v so_o little_o take_v with_o the_o kindness_n of_o the_o redeemer_n how_o weak_a and_o faint_a how_o cold_a and_o dull_a in_o duty_n how_o ready_a to_o betray_v their_o lord_n how_o cowardly_a in_o the_o cause_n of_o god_n but_o death_n will_v for_o ever_o silence_v these_o complaint_n death_n tare_n off_o joshua_n rag_n and_o present_n he_o before_o the_o lord_n without_o spot_n or_o wrinkle_n or_o any_o such_o thing_n sin_n indeed_o accompani_v the_o ungodly_a into_o another_o world_n he_o rest_v from_o his_o pleasure_n and_o his_o wicked_a work_n follow_v he_o but_o it_o be_v far_o otherwise_o with_o the_o godly_a sin_n be_v his_o burden_n and_o death_n shall_v unload_v â—im_a sin_n shall_v be_v confine_v to_o hell_n heaven_n entertain_v no_o such_o deformity_n this_o tyrant_n shall_v no_o more_o enslave_v any_o of_o christ_n subject_n the_o house_n of_o saul_n and_o the_o house_n of_o david_n shall_v no_o long_o contend_v that_o bloody_a conflict_n between_o the_o flesh_n and_o spirit_n shall_v then_o be_v determine_v by_o a_o final_a victory_n than_o the_o soul_n will_v say_v farewell_n my_o hard_a heart_n farewell_n unbelief_n farewell_n ingratitude_n then_o thou_o shall_v never_o entertain_v a_o unkind_a thought_n of_o god_n more_o the_o lame_a and_o the_o blind_a and_o the_o jebusite_n shall_v be_v smite_v when_o king_n david_n come_v to_o make_v his_o palace_n in_o zion_n thy_o sin_n must_v die_v when_o the_o lord_n come_v to_o take_v the_o full_a possession_n of_o this_o fort_n royal_a confession_n of_o sin_n shall_v short_o be_v needless_a no_o darkness_n shall_v cloud_v the_o understanding_n no_o perverseness_n the_o will_n no_o disorderliness_n in_o the_o affection_n no_o treachery_n in_o the_o memory_n the_o eye_n shall_v be_v better_o employ_v than_o in_o behold_v of_o vanity_n the_o ear_n shall_v not_o be_v lock_v against_o truth_n the_o hand_n far_o from_o violence_n the_o tongue_n from_o deceit_n and_o the_o foot_n from_o walk_v in_o way_n of_o wickedness_n and_o seem_v this_o a_o light_a matter_n to_o you_o who_o have_v go_v bow_v all_o your_o day_n under_o the_o pressure_n of_o sin_n be_v it_o nothing_o to_o you_o to_o have_v all_o your_o iniquity_n do_v away_o as_o a_o cloud_n and_o your_o transgression_n as_o a_o thick_a cloud_n thus_o see_v what_o a_o kindness_n that_o formidable_a enemy_n do_v to_o all_o the_o subject_n of_o christ_n kingdom_n what_o prayer_n tear_n and_o groan_n do_v gradual_o it_o do_v at_o one_o blow_n thus_o the_o oppress_a be_v deliver_v the_o mourner_n make_v to_o rejoice_v and_o the_o great_a makebate_n between_o god_n and_o the_o soul_n for_o ever_o discard_v and_o turn_v out_o of_o door_n eph._n 5.27_o es_fw-ge 44.22_o 2._o when_o a_o christian_a ayâ—th_n he_o shall_v be_v free_v from_o all_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n death_n set_v the_o soul_n out_o of_o the_o devil_n reach_v this_o angel_n have_v nothing_o to_o do_v in_o heaven_n this_o serpent_n shall_v not_o come_v into_o the_o high_a paradise_n nor_o satan_n creep_v into_o this_o eden_n now_o indeed_o he_o go_v up_o and_o down_o like_o a_o roar_a lion_n seek_v who_o he_o may_v devour_v now_o he_o set_v he_o begin_v every_o where_o to_o catch_v the_o unwary_a christian_a he_o use_v his_o stratagem_n to_o surprise_v they_o but_o then_o this_o adversary_n shall_v be_v tread_v under_o foot_n his_o fiery_a dart_n shall_v be_v quench_v and_o his_o design_n break_v o_o happy_a day_n when_o will_v it_o come_v when_o the_o devil_n shall_v be_v as_o unlikely_a to_o tempt_v as_o our_o heart_n to_o close_v when_o we_o be_v get_v once_o safe_a to_o rest_v the_o devil_n shall_v as_o easy_o shake_v god_n throne_n as_o our_o happiness_n death_n turn_v the_o key_n bolt_n and_o bar_n this_o enemy_n out_o then_o o_o then_o thou_o shall_v see_v this_o pharaoh_n cast_v dead_a on_o the_o shore_n and_o for_o ever_o disable_v from_o make_v any_o resistance_n against_o thou_o or_o in_o the_o least_o disturb_v thy_o peace_n rev._n 20.10_o 3._o the_o blessedness_n of_o the_o people_n of_o god_n consist_v in_o their_o be_v free_v from_o the_o frown_n and_o flattery_n of_o the_o world_n in_o life_n time_n thou_o be_v fain_o to_o fight_v thy_o way_n to_o peace_n to_o dispute_v every_o step_n thou_o go_v and_o can_v never_o have_v a_o quiet_a hour_n while_o thou_o have_v such_o ill_a neighbour_n there_o be_v a_o old_a quarrel_n between_o the_o seed_n of_o the_o woman_n and_o the_o serpent_n and_o the_o enmity_n be_v radicate_v and_o the_o â—end_n can_v be_v cool_v with_o nothing_o but_o death_n christian_n expect_v not_o as_o long_o as_o any_o of_o that_o cainisâ—_n generation_n breath_n that_o thou_o shall_v be_v long_o â—â—cure_a in_o the_o world_n you_o shall_v have_v tribulation_n â—ut_v be_v of_o good_a cheer_n christ_n have_v overcome_v the_o world_n joh._n 16.33_o what_o though_o they_o speak_v â—â—eat_a word_n prison_n halter_n faggot_n thou_o shall_v â—e_v long_o ride_v in_o state_n to_o glory_n and_o then_o let_v they_o 〈◊〉_d their_o worst_a when_o thou_o be_v in_o heaven_n they_o â—ay_v curse_v and_o increase_v their_o own_o misery_n but_o â—â—ey_n shall_v not_o in_o the_o least_o diminish_v thy_o tranquillity_n use_v as_o for_o their_o flattery_n they_o shall_v signify_v nothing_o thing_n the_o beauty_n of_o this_o inseriour_a world_n will_v be_v darken_v by_o the_o brightness_n of_o that_o light_n which_o death_n lead_v thou_o into_o its_o excellency_n will_v be_v quite_o eclipse_v its_o allurement_n will_v lose_v their_o power_n who_o can_v choose_v but_o contemn_v the_o earth_n that_o know_v what_o heaven_n mean_v o_o how_o low_o a_o esteem_n have_v the_o most_o experience_a man_n here_o oâ—_n the_o world_n honour_n and_o riches_n be_v account_v very_o inconsiderable_a thing_n to_o they_o which_o understand_v the_o difference_n between_o finite_a and_o infinite_a the_o disproportion_n between_o time_n and_o eternity_n death_n blow_v the_o dust_n out_o of_o our_o eye_n it_o pluckâ—_n off_o the_o veil_n and_o show_v one_o quick_o the_o glory_n oâ—_n both_o world_n and_o so_o it_o be_v not_o lest_o long_o to_o determine_v which_o be_v to_o be_v prefer_v dross_n or_o silver_n brass_n or_o gold_n a_o dunghill_n or_o a_o palace_n there_o wiâ—â—_n be_v no_o thought_n of_o return_v to_o egypt_n or_o gosheâ—_n either_o in_o they_o which_o know_v the_o fruitfulness_n of_o thâ—_n spiritual_a canaan_n the_o accommodation_n of_o the_o neâ—_n jerusalem_n the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o holy_a court_n 4._o at_o death_n he_o shall_v rest_v from_o all_o his_o pain_n there_o be_v no_o fear_n of_o sickness_n sorrow_n and_o achâ—â—â—_n the_o stone_n gout_n and_o plague_n be_v distemper_n thâ—â—_n none_o labour_v with_o there_o that_o air_n be_v clear_a anâ—_n sin_n which_o infect_v other_o place_n never_o get_v foot_v there_o they_o that_o scarce_o know_v what_o a_o dayâ—â—_n ease_v now_o mean_n shall_v then_o forget_v their_o sorrow_n their_o constitution_n shall_v be_v mend_v their_o
defilement_n and_o take_v out_o her_o stain_n and_o have_v deck_v she_o with_o his_o jewel_n and_o put_v on_o her_o wedding_n garment_n that_o day_n be_v come_v o_o my_o soul_n when_o will_v the_o shadow_n flee_v away_o when_o will_v day_n and_o night_n be_v all_o at_o a_o end_n when_o will_v time_n be_v spend_v when_o shall_v the_o curtain_n be_v draw_v o_o that_o that_o be_v the_o place_n thou_o shall_v then_o love_v that_o precious_a jesus_n with_o a_o seraphic_a and_o angel-like_o love_n thou_o will_v then_o as_o much_o delight_n and_o rejoice_v in_o he_o as_o abraham_n david_n and_o paul_n do_v thy_o drowsy_a soul_n shall_v be_v as_o nimble_a and_o active_a in_o the_o service_n of_o thy_o great_a maker_n as_o enoch_n and_o elias_n thou_o shall_v praise_v he_o day_n and_o night_n and_o be_v no_o more_o weary_a than_o the_o angel_n themselves_o thou_o shall_v perfect_o understand_v the_o will_n of_o god_n and_o ready_o obey_v it_o thou_o shall_v be_v holy_a as_o god_n be_v holy_a and_o what_o will_v you_o now_o give_v for_o such_o a_o frame_n how_o glad_a will_v you_o be_v to_o feel_v a_o connaturality_n to_o divine_a employment_n how_o happy_a will_v you_o think_v yourselves_o if_o your_o heart_n be_v always_o as_o god_n will_v have_v it_o be_v it_o not_o for_o this_o that_o you_o fast_o and_o pray_v be_v it_o not_o for_o this_o that_o you_o hear_v read_v and_o meditate_v be_v not_o this_o the_o end_n of_o sacrament_n well_o be_v of_o good_a cheer_n in_o mount_n zion_n there_o shall_v be_v deliverance_n and_o holiness_n obed._n 17._o and_o be_v all_o this_o nothing_o seem_v it_o still_o a_o small_a privilege_n to_o be_v a_o child_n of_o god_n and_o like_o our_o father_n who_o that_o understand_v this_o will_v not_o bid_v death_n welcome_a and_o say_v now_o grave_a do_v thy_o worst_a ask_v paul_n and_o he_o will_v tell_v you_o that_o upon_o this_o account_n he_o groan_v inquire_v of_o david_n and_o he_o will_v let_v you_o understand_v that_o he_o never_o expect_v satisfaction_n till_o he_o awake_a with_o god_n likeness_n psal_n 17._o 3._o another_o thing_n wherein_o the_o blessedness_n of_o a_o christian_a at_o death_n lie_v be_v this_o the_o sight_n of_o christ_n what_o can_v be_v more_o desire_v by_o a_o child_n of_o god_n than_o to_o behold_v and_o enjoy_v he_o by_o who_o all_o the_o mercy_n we_o have_v and_o all_o that_o we_o expect_v slow_a in_o to_o we_o eph._n 1.11_o that_o good_a old_a saint_n luk._n 2.30_o think_v it_o a_o heaven_n upon_o earth_n to_o see_v he_o though_o his_o majesty_n be_v veil_v and_o the_o brightness_n of_o his_o glory_n wrap_v up_o and_o cover_v by_o his_o humanity_n he_o do_v sing_v a_o requiem_n to_o his_o soul_n and_o say_v now_o let_v thy_o servant_n depart_v in_o peace_n for_o my_o eye_n have_v see_v thy_o salvation_n how_o be_v peter_n james_n and_o john_n affect_v at_o his_o transfiguration_n mat._n 17_o 2._o what_o a_o admirable_a frame_n do_v the_o spouse_n seem_v to_o be_v in_o when_o she_o see_v only_o the_o shadow_n and_o backpart_n of_o this_o belove_a one_o cant._n 5.16_o she_o can_v tell_v when_o to_o have_v do_v commend_v of_o he_o but_o all_o this_o be_v but_o a_o small_a thing_n compare_v to_o the_o sight_n which_o they_o shall_v see_v when_o their_o grace_n shall_v be_v complete_a and_o their_o soul_n like_o he_o and_o then_o shall_v they_o behold_v the_o king_n in_o his_o beauty_n no_o long_o the_o contempt_n and_o scorn_n of_o the_o world_n no_o long_o in_o poverty_n and_o want_n no_o long_o crucify_v and_o reject_v but_o jesus_n the_o express_a image_n of_o his_o father_n and_o the_o brightness_n of_o his_o glory_n accompany_v with_o million_o of_o angel_n all_o at_o his_o command_n and_o yet_o for_o all_o this_o cast_v a_o gracious_a eye_n upon_o they_o then_o shall_v the_o soul_n behold_v he_o face_n to_o face_n who_o do_v and_o suffer_v such_o wonderful_a thing_n for_o it_o it_o be_v he_o that_o come_v out_o of_o his_o father_n bosom_n it_o be_v he_o that_o step_v out_o of_o his_o throne_n and_o put_v off_o his_o robe_n that_o come_v leap_v over_o the_o mountain_n and_o skip_v over_o the_o hill_n run_v through_o a_o thousand_o difficulty_n that_o he_o may_v pluck_v thou_o out_o of_o thy_o misery_n and_o deliver_v thou_o out_o of_o the_o paw_n of_o the_o lion_n and_o the_o bear_n that_o he_o may_v redeem_v thou_o from_o the_o power_n of_o sin_n death_n and_o hell_n how_o will_v the_o heaven_n echo_n with_o song_n of_o joy_n when_o the_o bride_n the_o lamb_n wife_n shall_v come_v to_o dwell_v with_o her_o husband_n for_o ever_o isay_n 33.17_o christ_n be_v the_o desire_n of_o nation_n the_o joy_n of_o angel_n the_o delight_n of_o the_o father_n and_o he_o in_o who_o he_o be_v well_o please_v what_o solace_n then_o must_v that_o soul_n be_v fill_v with_o that_o have_v the_o possession_n of_o he_o to_o all_o eternity_n be_v not_o his_o love_n better_o than_o wine_n and_o a_o look_n of_o his_o countenance_n to_o be_v prefer_v before_o corn_n and_o oil_n be_v not_o his_o kindness_n to_o be_v value_v above_o life_n itself_o what_o mean_v thou_o then_o o_o my_o soul_n that_o thou_o do_v so_o dread_a his_o come_n why_o be_v thou_o so_o loath_a to_o be_v with_o he_o why_o be_v thou_o afraid_a of_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o he_o will_v thy_o redeemer_n make_v thou_o a_o slave_n have_v heaven_n change_v his_o nature_n and_o make_v he_o less_o desirable_a will_v thy_o saviour_n make_v thou_o miserable_a awake_v then_o o_o you_o saint_n and_o stand_v a_o tiptoe_n wait_v watch_n and_o long_o till_o thou_o see_v he_o who_o alone_o can_v fill_v thy_o soul_n fight_v strive_v and_o run_v till_o you_o enjoy_v one_o smile_n of_o he_o one_o look_n of_o his_o love_n be_v worth_a the_o pleasure_n of_o ten_o world_n where_o be_v thy_o heart_n where_o be_v thy_o desire_n what_o be_v become_v of_o thy_o love_n if_o christ_n do_v not_o affect_v draw_v and_o fire_n thou_o what_o will_n but_o when_o thou_o shall_v see_v christ_n indeed_o his_o very_a look_n will_v so_o warm_v thy_o soul_n that_o thou_o shall_v in_o a_o moment_n feel_v a_o divine_a flame_n which_o shall_v never_o be_v extinguish_v as_o long_o as_o christ_n the_o object_n of_o thy_o love_n shall_v live_v the_o sight_n of_o christ_n will_v put_v new_a life_n into_o thy_o soul_n and_o make_v thy_o love_n and_o joy_n fresh_a for_o ever_o this_o be_v he_o o_o my_o soul_n that_o be_v wound_v that_o thou_o may_v be_v heal_v this_o be_v he_o who_o be_v crown_v with_o thorn_n that_o thou_o may_v be_v crown_v with_o glory_n this_o this_o be_v he_o that_o die_v that_o thou_o may_v live_v be_v not_o all_o the_o glory_n of_o heaven_n wrap_v up_o in_o he_o be_v not_o the_o treasure_n of_o divine_a kindness_n which_o be_v sometime_o hide_v in_o he_o now_o open_v tell_v i_o now_o o_o my_o soul_n be_v there_o any_o in_o two_o world_n comparable_a to_o he_o be_v not_o that_o he_o that_o shelter_v thou_o from_o the_o storm_n of_o god_n wrath_n be_v not_o that_o precious_a body_n the_o 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this_o congregation_n what_o a_o ghastly_a sight_n will_v it_o be_v shall_v god_n strike_v all_o they_o dead_a which_o lie_v in_o their_o sin_n and_o know_v not_o christ_n it_o be_v to_o be_v fear_v that_o the_o assembly_n will_v be_v far_o thin_a than_o it_o be_v shall_v the_o grave_n open_a and_o the_o soul_n and_o bone_n say_v to_o we_o make_v haste_n make_v haste_n up_o get_v your_o soul_n dress_v for_o within_o three_o day_n you_o must_v lie_v in_o this_o black_a and_o cold_a chamber_n with_o we_o how_o will_v this_o make_v most_o of_o our_o face_n to_o gather_v paleness_n and_o our_o joint_n ready_a to_o knock_v one_o against_o another_o but_o what_o if_o another_o voice_n shall_v second_v it_o and_o one_o shall_v come_v roar_v out_o of_o hell_n wrap_v about_o with_o flame_n and_o shall_v say_v it_o be_v a_o fearful_a thing_n to_o fall_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o live_a god_n they_o that_o die_v in_o sin_n must_v be_v bury_v in_o hell_n and_o if_o this_o very_a moment_n 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i_o shall_v receive_v be_v ask_v how_o he_o do_v he_o answer_v very_o well_o one_o stand_v by_o say_v no_o you_o be_v very_o ill_a he_o reply_v i_o know_v i_o be_o very_o sick_a but_o i_o say_v i_o be_o well_o because_o i_o be_o as_o god_n will_v have_v i_o be_v when_o i_o come_v to_o he_o in_o the_o afternoon_n i_o find_v he_o exceed_o ill_n and_o betray_v some_o weakness_n in_o his_o intellectual_n and_o his_o discourse_n be_v very_o impertinent_a i_o say_v to_o he_o your_o language_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v spiritual_a but_o now_o you_o forget_v yourself_o it_o be_v true_a sir_n say_v he_o but_o you_o know_v what_o the_o condition_n of_o my_o body_n now_o be_v bless_a be_v god_n the_o root_n of_o matter_n be_v in_o i_o after_o this_o he_o be_v very_o still_o and_o quiet_a while_o i_o read_v to_o he_o and_o seem_v to_o be_v much_o please_v at_o the_o read_n of_o the_o fifty_o four_o and_o fifty_o five_o of_o isaiah_n and_o give_v a_o very_a rational_a account_n of_o any_o spiritual_a 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a_o die_a sweat_n and_o the_o last_o word_n that_o i_o hear_v he_o speak_v be_v glory_n glory_n after_o that_o he_o continue_v in_o very_o great_a agony_n and_o his_o pang_n be_v strong_a till_o about_o 11_o of_o the_o clock_n than_o he_o sleep_v in_o jesus_n be_v exceed_o lament_v by_o the_o young_a man_n of_o his_o society_n many_o of_o which_o be_v about_o he_o finis_fw-la a_o account_n of_o god_n deal_n with_o this_o young_a man_n before_z and_o at_o his_o conversion_n with_o some_o remark_n upon_o the_o same_o as_o it_o be_v deliver_v to_o i_o under_o his_o own_o hand_n after_o i_o have_v discourse_v with_o he_o by_o way_n of_o dialogue_n between_o a_o minister_n and_o himself_o minister_n what_o ought_v to_o be_v the_o great_a care_n and_o duty_n of_o every_o profess_v christian_a in_o these_o our_o day_n convert_n pray_v what_o may_v be_v the_o reason_n of_o this_o your_o question_n min._n i_o have_v very_o many_o reason_n but_o one_o be_v this_o because_o it_o be_v daily_o see_v that_o very_o many_o who_o have_v make_v great_a profession_n of_o religion_n and_o be_v account_v among_o the_o wise_a virgin_n fall_v away_o which_o be_v very_o sad_a to_o conâ—ider_v and_o i_o fear_v that_o the_o reason_n be_v because_o there_o be_v not_o that_o care_n take_v about_o the_o state_n of_o their_o soul_n which_o there_o ought_v to_o be_v now_o i_o pray_v you_o answer_v i_o my_o question_n viz._n what_o ought_v etc._n etc._n conu._n with_o respect_n to_o the_o former_a it_o ought_v to_o be_v every_o christian_n great_a care_n to_o examine_v himself_o whether_o he_o be_v in_o the_o state_n of_o grace_n or_o no_o and_o which_o way_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o bring_v he_o into_o that_o bless_a condition_n since_o it_o be_v to_o be_v fear_v the_o want_n of_o this_o be_v the_o great_a and_o chief_a cause_n of_o man_n apostasy_n from_o religion_n for_o have_v he_o ever_o be_v true_o wrought_v upon_o by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n have_v his_o conviction_n which_o more_o or_o less_o all_o have_v have_v turn_v to_o a_o true_a conversion_n and_o have_v his_o pang_n of_o sorrow_n for_o sin_n but_o bring_v forth_o regeneration_n then_o sure_o he_o will_v have_v be_v in_o such_o a_o estate_n from_o which_o all_o the_o malice_n of_o the_o power_n of_o darkness_n can_v not_o have_v draw_v he_o min._n the_o answer_n do_v somewhat_o savour_n of_o goodness_n and_o that_o you_o understand_v with_o your_o heart_n what_o you_o express_v with_o the_o tongue_n conversion_n or_o regeneration_n be_v a_o mighty_a work_n and_o on_o whosoever_o it_o be_v true_o wrought_v
that_o person_n can_v say_v somewhat_o more_o or_o less_o concern_v the_o nature_n of_o it_o and_o how_o it_o be_v wrought_v in_o his_o soul_n if_o the_o lord_n have_v in_o any_o measure_n reveal_v himself_o to_o you_o in_o this_o way_n let_v i_o entreat_v you_o both_o for_o your_o own_o soul_n good_a and_o perhaps_o other_o soul_n good_a but_o chief_o that_o the_o lord_n may_v thereby_o be_v glorify_v to_o let_v i_o know_v the_o time_n and_o manner_n of_o his_o draw_v you_o to_o himself_o by_o his_o unspeakable_a love_n and_o mercy_n conu._n oh_o blessed_n be_v god_n that_o he_o have_v open_v the_o heart_n of_o his_o faithful_a minister_n to_o demand_v such_o a_o matter_n of_o such_o a_o poor_a wretch_n as_o i_o be_o oh_o what_o be_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v examine_v instruct_v and_o confirm_v about_o the_o matter_n of_o my_o eternal_a precious_a and_o never_o die_a soul_n oh_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v so_o enable_v i_o in_o this_o great_a work_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v find_v to_o lie_v against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n by_o add_v to_o or_o diminish_v from_o what_o i_o have_v find_v but_o that_o i_o may_v have_v my_o heart_n and_o conscience_n witness_v within_o i_o that_o these_o follow_a thing_n be_v so_o indeed_o min._n i_o be_o glad_a to_o hear_v what_o you_o have_v say_v and_o the_o lord_n bring_v all_o thing_n concern_v our_o present_a work_n into_o your_o remembrance_n that_o his_o name_n may_v be_v glorify_v and_o your_o soul_n much_o comfort_v and_o to_o this_o end_n it_o will_v be_v requisite_a to_o demand_v of_o you_o what_o condition_n be_v you_o in_o by_o nature_n conu._n o_o sir_n a_o rebel_n to_o my_o god_n a_o slave_n to_o my_o lust_n a_o prodigal_a to_o my_o father_n a_o alien_n from_o the_o commonwealth_n of_o israel_n in_o short_a have_v i_o dye_v in_o my_o natural_a state_n i_o have_v be_v eternal_o miserable_a john_n 3.3_o except_o etc._n etc._n min._n how_o long_o do_v you_o continue_v in_o that_o deplorable_a condition_n conu._n oh_o too_o too_o long_o but_o yet_o bless_v be_v god_n and_o admire_v be_v free_a grace_n that_o it_o be_v no_o long_o it_o be_v as_o near_o as_o i_o can_v guess_v eighteen_o year_n and_o a_o few_o day_n when_o the_o lord_n do_v incline_v my_o heart_n in_o good_a earnest_n to_o seek_v the_o thing_n of_o its_o everlasting_a peace_n min._n well_o and_o how_o then_o do_v the_o lord_n begin_v with_o you_o be_v your_o eye_n never_o open_v to_o see_v your_o lose_v undo_v condition_n before_o that_o time_n conu._n oh_o yes_o when_o i_o be_v twelve_o or_o thirteen_o year_n of_o age_n the_o lord_n discover_v my_o condition_n so_o much_o to_o i_o that_o i_o do_v then_o firm_o believe_v all_o that_o do_v serve_v the_o lord_n be_v in_o a_o very_a bless_a and_o happy_a estate_n let_v what_o come_v as_o can_v come_v they_o be_v happy_a and_o likewise_o that_o if_o i_o shall_v then_o have_v dye_v i_o shall_v have_v be_v eternal_o miserable_a have_v no_o hope_n in_o christ_n neither_o do_v i_o in_o that_o condition_n expect_v any_o benefit_n by_o he_o and_o as_o i_o very_o well_o remember_v the_o lord_n make_v the_o thought_n of_o death_n so_o terrible_a that_o i_o can_v not_o endure_v to_o think_v of_o it_o but_o yet_o it_o come_v so_o much_o in_o my_o mind_n and_o do_v so_o terrify_v i_o that_o i_o can_v express_v how_o i_o do_v dread_a to_o think_v of_o it_o but_o this_o work_v nothing_o in_o i_o but_o oh_o with_o horror_n and_o amazement_n be_v it_o speak_v i_o be_v willing_a then_o to_o go_v to_o hell_n and_o do_v rejoice_v in_o that_o i_o can_v quell_v my_o gripe_n of_o conscience_n by_o think_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v as_o well_o able_a to_o endure_v the_o flame_n of_o hell_n and_o the_o frown_n of_o a_o angry_a god_n as_o any_o of_o they_o all_o and_o that_o i_o shall_v have_v company_n enough_o there_o and_o so_o do_v rejoice_v because_o i_o be_v willing_a to_o be_v damn_v willing_a to_o be_v damn_v how_o what_o do_v i_o say_v but_o sure_o i_o be_v not_o oh_o my_o soul_n how_o can_v it_o be_v make_v '_o answer_n be_v it_o so_o yes_o and_o be_v i_o o_o be_v i_o indeed_o willing_a to_o be_v damn_v oh_o the_o height_n and_o length_n and_o breadth_n and_o depth_n of_o the_o love_n and_o goodness_n and_o long_o suffer_v patience_n of_o a_o offend_a and_o high_o provoke_v god_n that_o i_o be_v not_o then_o throw_v into_o hell_n indeed_o but_o that_o he_o shall_v suffer_v such_o stubble_n as_o i_o be_v to_o be_v in_o his_o sight_n and_o that_o the_o fire_n of_o his_o jealousy_n have_v not_o consume_v i_o as_o in_o a_o moment_n but_o still_o i_o go_v on_o in_o sin_n as_o if_o i_o will_v not_o have_v let_v god_n alone_o till_o he_o have_v damn_v i_o min._n by_o what_o you_o have_v say_v i_o perceive_v than_o you_o be_v thorough_o convince_v of_o the_o necessity_n of_o holiness_n and_o of_o leave_v your_o sin_n and_o serve_v the_o lord_n and_o that_o there_o must_v be_v regeneration_n wrought_v in_o you_o before_o glorification_n can_v be_v hope_v for_o by_o you_o but_o sure_o be_v convince_v of_o the_o bless_a condition_n of_o the_o godly_a you_o can_v not_o but_o sometime_o wish_v yourself_o in_o their_o condition_n how_o do_v you_o carry_v yourself_o under_o this_o do_v you_o resolve_v that_o you_o will_v never_o be_v as_o they_o be_v conu._n true_o many_o time_n i_o will_v have_v be_v glad_a to_o have_v be_v in_o their_o condition_n but_o i_o be_v so_o glue_v to_o the_o world_n and_o my_o sin_n that_o i_o can_v not_o endure_v to_o think_v of_o leave_v they_o yet_o to_o my_o best_a remembrance_n i_o never_o resolve_v that_o if_o i_o shall_v live_v never_o so_o long_o i_o will_v not_o repent_v but_o that_o after_o i_o have_v get_v a_o great_a estate_n in_o the_o world_n and_o be_v grow_v old_a and_o be_v as_o it_o be_v uncapable_a of_o take_v any_o more_o delight_n in_o these_o thing_n below_o that_o then_o i_o will_v have_v set_v out_o towards_o heaven_n and_o oh_o i_o can_v but_o think_v and_o i_o desire_v with_o fear_n and_o tremble_a to_o think_v what_o a_o loathsome_a sacrifice_n i_o shall_v then_o have_v be_v even_o stink_v in_o god_n nostril_n when_o i_o have_v give_v the_o marrow_n and_o fatness_n and_o strength_n of_o my_o body_n to_o the_o devil_n then_o i_o shall_v have_v have_v just_a cause_n to_o fear_v the_o lord_n will_v have_v bury_v i_o out_o of_o his_o sight_n oh_o i_o say_v i_o stay_v in_o the_o devil_n service_n so_o long_o that_o i_o smell_v so_o of_o fire_n and_o brimstone_n i_o mean_v of_o sin_n that_o have_v not_o the_o body_n of_o a_o crucify_a advocate_n jesus_n christ_n as_o a_o veil_n stand_v between_o the_o justice_n of_o god_n and_o my_o guilty_a soul_n certain_o he_o will_v soon_o have_v draw_v out_o a_o bill_n of_o indictment_n against_o i_o and_o have_v send_v i_o away_o with_o a_o go_v you_o curse_v min._n by_o what_o you_o have_v say_v i_o perceive_v you_o lay_v under_o conviction_n for_o about_o 6_o year_n with_o very_o little_a grief_n or_o sorrow_n for_o sin_n but_o although_o you_o know_v what_o you_o be_v to_o do_v yet_o you_o do_v not_o do_v what_o you_o do_v know_v i_o will_v ask_v you_o but_o one_o '_o question_v more_o before_o i_o come_v to_o the_o chief_a point_n in_o hand_n and_o that_o be_v this_o what_o duty_n you_o engage_v in_o in_o this_o time_n and_o how_o you_o carry_v yourself_o under_o they_o conu._n now_o even_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o revelâ—_n from_o my_o promise_n but_o that_o i_o may_v if_o possible_o debase_v myself_o below_o the_o vile_a creature_n in_o the_o world_n i_o will_v declare_v something_o and_o enough_o to_o make_v your_o very_a hair_n to_o staâ—â—_n a_o end_n and_z oh_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v 〈◊〉_d make_v i_o so_o reflect_v upon_o myself_o thâ—_n 〈◊〉_d may_v abhor_v my_o wretched_a self_n in_o dâ—st_n 〈◊〉_d ash_n for_o oh_o lord_n if_o this_o wâ—â—â—_n 〈◊〉_d what_o will_n for_o the_o great_a part_n of_o 〈…〉_o 06_o year_n i_o live_v without_o prayer_n and_o 〈…〉_o the_o scripture_n but_o seldom_o misseâ—â—_n 〈…〉_o â—y_a reason_n of_o my_o civil_a education_n and_o as_o to_o prayer_n but_o why_o shall_v i_o call_v it_o so_o scarce_o ever_o do_v i_o desire_v that_o the_o lord_n shall_v hear_v i_o nay_o i_o do_v often_o in_o my_o heart_n desire_v to_o the_o contrary_a nay_o more_o when_o i_o have_v be_v upon_o my_o knee_n and_o my_o conscience_n have_v constrain_v i_o to_o say_v prayer_n i_o have_v sudden_o receive_v a_o inward_a motion_n to_o this_o effect_n that_o god_n at_o that_o time_n be_v a_o mind_v other_o affair_n and_o that_o then_o i_o may_v
and_o worship_n that_o and_o shall_v do_v what_o i_o do_v more_o to_o advantage_n self_n than_o christ_n oh_o i_o say_v again_o what_o a_o wonder_n it_o be_v that_o ever_o he_o be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v my_o folly_n and_o oh_o if_o he_o shall_v not_o have_v do_v it_o yet_o in_o this_o particular_a how_o inexcusable_a have_v i_o be_v which_o will_v appear_v in_o the_o next_o answer_n min._n now_o let_v i_o know_v when_o and_o in_o what_o manner_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o magnify_v his_o grace_n in_o convince_a you_o of_o the_o insufficiency_n of_o your_o own_o righteousness_n and_o of_o the_o rest_n in_o duty_n conu._n i_o will_v likewise_o make_v this_o as_o plain_a to_o you_o as_o the_o lord_n shall_v enable_v i_o so_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v find_v guilty_a of_o a_o spiritual_a lie_n and_o to_o the_o best_a of_o my_o remembrance_n about_o four_o month_n after_o my_o powerful_a call_n when_o as_o i_o think_v i_o be_v assure_o in_o a_o most_o happy_a condition_n have_v pass_v through_o abundant_a of_o trial_n and_o temptation_n and_o i_o begin_v to_o find_v they_o somewhat_o to_o flee_v before_o i_o of_o which_o you_o shall_v hear_v anon_o more_o at_o large_a then_o oh_o then_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o put_v into_o my_o hand_n a_o little_a book_n entitle_v the_o christian_n great_a interest_n by_o mr._n guthry_n which_o when_o i_o peruse_v i_o find_v i_o be_v much_o concern_v in_o it_o and_o be_v somewhat_o trouble_v but_o it_o so_o violent_o accuse_v i_o of_o my_o dalilah_n righteousness_n which_o i_o love_v too_o well_o to_o see_v as_o i_o think_v abuse_v with_o a_o small_a sigh_n or_o the_o like_a i_o command_v it_o to_o depart_v and_o not_o to_o dare_v to_o come_v and_o control_n my_o idol_n self_n any_o more_o yet_o it_o make_v my_o way_n so_o plain_a before_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o withstand_v it_o a_o little_a while_n after_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o put_v into_o my_o hand_n another_o book_n for_o which_o i_o have_v abundant_a cause_n to_o bless_v god_n which_o be_v the_o sincere_a convert_n and_o read_v the_o latter_a part_n of_o that_o which_o treat_v concern_v carnal_a confidence_n and_o rest_v in_o duty_n all_o which_o do_v very_o much_o concern_v i_o i_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v and_o begin_v to_o question_v my_o estate_n a_o little_a concern_v duty_n but_o true_o i_o take_v so_o little_a delight_n in_o this_o that_o i_o soon_o lay_v it_o by_o and_o return_v it_o to_o the_o place_n from_o whence_o it_o come_v and_o likewise_o i_o have_v other_o book_n as_o mr._n baxters_n self-denial_n which_o i_o read_v part_n of_o with_o much_o delight_n as_o in_o reference_n in_o deny_v self-pleasure_n and_o sinful_a recreation_n and_o vain_a company_n etc._n etc._n all_o these_o yield_a comfort_n to_o i_o because_o i_o find_v that_o i_o do_v real_o desire_v to_o deny_v myself_o all_o these_o and_o make_v it_o a_o great_a ground_n of_o comfort_n to_o i_o that_o i_o can_v so_o earnest_o desire_v their_o destruction_n but_o when_o i_o come_v to_o the_o denial_n of_o self-righteousness_n this_o be_v a_o hard_a say_n and_o self_n will_v not_o bear_v it_o but_o away_o i_o go_v to_o those_o book_n where_o i_o can_v find_v out_o as_o i_o think_v a_o way_n to_o heaven_n by_o my_o own_o work_n and_o those_o that_o treat_v most_o of_o a_o holy_a life_n be_v the_o most_o please_a to_o i_o but_o when_o i_o read_v concern_v christ_n or_o hear_v he_o teach_v to_o i_o by_o his_o minister_n for_o although_o i_o have_v omit_v how_o my_o heart_n be_v in_o hear_v yet_o i_o will_v desire_v you_o to_o include_v that_o and_o to_o suppose_v that_o my_o heart_n be_v in_o that_o as_o in_o read_v or_o confer_v with_o respect_n to_o the_o subject_n i_o say_v when_o i_o hear_v christ_n teach_v by_o his_o minister_n either_o in_o a_o pulpit_n or_o a_o book_n i_o much_o delight_v in_o that_o i_o hear_v or_o read_v but_o when_o justification_n alone_o by_o faith_n in_o christ_n merit_n and_o live_v by_o faith_n upon_o a_o naked_a christ_n as_o peradventure_o i_o may_v be_v put_v too_o upon_o a_o sick_a bed_n by_o reason_n of_o a_o violent_a disease_n or_o the_o like_a that_o i_o can_v not_o have_v strength_n of_o body_n nor_o composure_n of_o mind_n to_o perform_v duty_n as_o in_o a_o fever_n or_o a_o fit_a of_o the_o stone_n or_o gout_n etc._n etc._n i_o say_v when_o these_o noble_a and_o heavenborn_a mystery_n be_v treat_v on_o i_o be_v much_o to_o seek_v and_o can_v take_v but_o little_a comfort_n from_o they_o and_o so_o i_o go_v on_o from_o duty_n to_o duty_n and_o if_o at_o any_o time_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n dead_a and_o can_v for_o that_o day_n or_o week_n or_o month_n it_o may_v be_v find_v any_o comfort_n from_o they_o than_o i_o live_v in_o hope_n that_o although_o i_o find_v not_o all_o well_o at_o present_a yet_o it_o will_v not_o long_o continue_v so_o with_o i_o and_o so_o in_o some_o time_n i_o recover_v life_n and_o comfort_n again_o i_o say_v i_o continue_v thus_o for_o the_o space_n of_o above_o three_o year_n and_o now_o i_o will_v declare_v one_o thing_n which_o do_v more_o trouble_v i_o than_o ordinary_a and_o that_o be_v in_o august_n last_o 67._o it_o happen_v that_o as_o i_o be_v visit_v a_o patient_a and_o for_o this_o thing_n in_o particular_a i_o have_v cause_n to_o bless_v god_n that_o he_o place_v i_o in_o this_o my_o call_n who_o we_o suppose_v the_o lord_n will_v take_v away_o at_o that_o very_a time_n there_o come_v dr._n b._n to_o perform_v as_o be_v think_v onâ—_n of_o the_o last_o duty_n he_o have_v to_o do_v 〈◊〉_d and_o among_o his_o discourse_n and_o adâ—â—â—_n 〈◊〉_d bid_v she_o be_v sure_a to_o lay_v all_o her_o sin_n upon_o christ_n which_o i_o like_v very_o well_o but_o withal_o that_o she_o shall_v lay_v all_o her_o own_o righteousness_n at_o his_o foot_n and_o not_o at_o all_o â—o_o trust_v to_o any_o good_a she_o have_v in_o her_o seâ—f_n but_o whole_o to_o rely_v upon_o the_o merit_n of_o christ_n which_o when_o i_o hear_v my_o heart_n rise_v much_o against_o what_o he_o say_v and_o do_v much_o oppose_v his_o advice_n and_o think_v it_o not_o at_o all_o convenient_a to_o be_v speak_v and_o doubtless_o have_v i_o be_v in_o her_o condition_n i_o mean_v so_o near_a death_n as_o it_o be_v think_v she_o be_v and_o he_o have_v advise_v i_o to_o the_o same_o thing_n and_o have_v clear_v it_o to_o i_o oh_o what_o a_o dreadful_a visitation_n have_v that_o be_v sure_o it_o will_v have_v put_v my_o soul_n into_o such_o a_o dreadful_a agony_n of_o confusion_n if_o not_o despair_v that_o sure_o i_o shall_v have_v dye_v a_o second_o death_n before_o i_o know_v the_o pang_n of_o the_o first_o but_o oh_o i_o say_v again_o who_o can_v hear_v of_o this_o and_o not_o be_v overcome_v with_o soul_n ravish_v admiration_n of_o the_o love_n and_o goodness_n and_o patience_n of_o god_n towards_o such_o a_o wretched_a nothing_o as_o i_o be_v that_o ever_o he_o shall_v so_o long_o forbear_v from_o destroy_v that_o soul_n with_o eternal_a damnation_n that_o will_v not_o with_o the_o cord_n of_o love_n be_v draw_v to_o accept_v of_o so_o clear_a salvation_n but_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v still_o to_o keep_v this_o upon_o my_o heart_n and_o although_o i_o be_v somewhat_o trouble_v but_o as_o before_o again_o i_o go_v to_o my_o old_a physician_n and_o take_v a_o small_a pill_n of_o prayer_n compose_v of_o a_o little_a fear_n and_o humiliation_n but_o no_o soon_o it_o get_v into_o my_o heart_n but_o there_o it_o be_v guilt_n with_o pride_n and_o so_o again_o become_v pleasant_a to_o i_o and_o then_o i_o think_v all_o be_v well_o and_o i_o do_v desire_n earnest_o that_o by_o this_o god_n may_v be_v much_o glorify_v and_o again_o methinks_v i_o find_v my_o heart_n so_o mighty_o incline_v to_o go_v on_o in_o this_o work_n which_o at_o your_o request_n you_o may_v remember_v i_o be_v so_o unwilling_a to_o undertake_v that_o 〈◊〉_d have_v great_a hope_n there_o may_v be_v the_o hand_n of_o god_n in_o it_o and_o that_o it_o be_v he_o that_o put_v it_o into_o your_o heart_n to_o request_v if_o of_o i_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n it_o may_v be_v his_o glory_n alone_o that_o may_v move_v i_o to_o it_o and_o not_o any_o self-pride_n true_o you_o may_v say_v i_o have_v great_a cause_n to_o fear_v and_o not_o to_o trust_v my_o own_o heart_n any_o more_o and_o the_o lord_n preserve_v this_o jealousy_n more_o and_o more_o in_o i_o but_o to_o my_o present_a purpose_n and_o this_o which_o i_o be_o about_o to_o say_v may_v have_v prove_v a_o great_a disadvantage_n to_o i_o