therefore if Woolsey served the King it was for his own base ends And if our Covenanting Zelots served God it was onely to make him a Patron of their Rebellion A loyal Subject is a good Christian who carefully and conscienciously observes both the first and the fifth Commandement and carries a fair Correspondence both to Heaven and Earth not robbing God to pay Caesar but rendring honour fear tribute homage and service to whom they are due It follows then He is no swearer for therein he would dishonour the Majestie of Heaven and pull down a judgement upon the Kingdome Because of Oaths the Land mourns And where the Land mourns I know not how the King should be merry He who speaks treasonable words deserves death then what will become of swearers and blasphemers who dayly speak treasonable words against the King above Neither is he one of those Pot-Champions who have nothing to manifest their faithfulness but that they talked of his Majestie in the Tavern he remembers the King in his Prayers oftner then in his Cups and is very sensile of that Cup which his Saviour and his Soveraign both drank of and hath chosen rather to pledge them in a bitter draught of Affliction spiced with sequestration and imprisonment and having a block or Gallows at the bottome then to tipple in those base Elements of Wine and Beer for to drink bowls and glasses of Sack will sooner increase the wealth of the King of Spain then the health of the King of England In a word although it may be more easie to shew you what he is not then what he is he is a prudent Counsellour a faithful Informer and a valiant Souldier like Joseph to King Pharaoh like Mordeca to King Ahashuerus and like Monke to King Charles A Male content IS a thing quite contrary to a Temporizer for he swimmes alwayes against the Tide His chief end is that he may be taken notice of in the World and like Theudas he boasteth himselfe to be some body he is an Enemy both to Civil and Religious Ordinances and is offended at that which even God himself hath set up He was not pleased in the dayes of the Old King nor contented in the time of Tyranny neither is he satisfied now but having seen two dayes and a night he hath still continued in an unquiet condition for in the day time the heat of the Sun hath molested him and in the night he hath barked at the moon He is not altogether void of learning but hath Philosophy enough to make him an Atheist And Divinitie to serve him to take Gods Name in vain Yet he is a meer child in Knowledge continually crying and whining and knows not what he would have His ignorance is joyned with willfulnesse which makes it beyond the cure of a Pestel Morter He hath been used to Cant very Highly which hath endangered if not effected the cropping his lugs but such a poor punishment doth but harden him in his folly for they cannot circumcise his heart with his ears In short he is a mere Lilburn or King-Fisher Who though you should hang him up would turn his breast against the wind A noble Spirit IS one that hath really attained to that which King Agrippa was almost perswaded unto that is Christianitie which is a kind of Nobilitie that comes by the second birth much more excellent then that of blood yet if he be of an honorable Family it adds lustre to his Religion and makes his vertues more conspicuous However he hath a more then ordinary birth-right not only above all other Creatures as a Man but above other men as a Christian and is possessed of not only the one Talent that is Natural Reason and the two that is the Law of Moses but also of the five that is the Gospel of Christ Thus by Adoption he is the eldest brother and his Portion is more then double the Jews and the Heathens And by the improvement of these Talents he is grown very rich in grace having found out and purchased that Treasure which is hid in a Field redeemed his time renued his Covenant and bought the Truth which is better then Riches better then Riches indeed for it is a sure stock not subject to the corruption of Moth and Rust or the violence of Thieves and Robbers but beyond the Reach of Rumps Devils or Sequestrators He Trafficks by his bountie to the poor as Merchants by Bills of Exchange freely disbursing part of his Estate here well knowing he shall receive it a thousand fold hereafter Nay more he hath learned the highest point of Religion that is To doe good to them who doe evil to him and this is Christians Vnguentum Armentarium which heals the Patient by being applied unto the instrument wherewith he is wounded To conclude he is compounded of an Ounce of Serpent and a Pound of Dove Martha and Mary a Protestant Faith and a Roman Catholick Charitle A bad Wife WHen the common enemy of Mankind Satan had obtained a commission from the high Court of Heaven to afflict poor Job he took away his Sheep Camels Asses Oxen Servants and Children but t is observed he left him that cursed thing they call his wife Oh the subtilty of the old Fox Who in every particular affliction slew all his servants save only one whom he left to grieve him wiah the news of his losses and so likewise in his general calamity slew all his neer relations but only his Wife whom he left to vex and torment him for he thought he did him as much injury in leaving her as in taking his children When our first Parents made themselves Garments of Fig leaves to cover their nakednesse in what fashion they were I cannot tell but one translation cals them Aprons and an other Breeches and no marvaile for in London it is common for Men to weare Aprons but more common for Women to weare Breeches When Apprentices have served out their time and are made free they usually say they have buried their Wives It seems then they account their apprentiship a marriage if so let the words be termini convertibiles for without question marriage is an apprentiship In a word if you would know what an evil Woman is ask the Citizens of London they can best inform you she is a great burden and a grievous cross which none knows but he that hath her The R Parliament WAs the dregs and dross of a Senate a small number met together in the name of the and doubtless he was in the midst of them At Westminster they kept Shop and hired some wide-mouth'd Presbyters to Cry in the Citie and Countrie Pulpits what Wares they had to sell viz Religion and Reformation and two things were carried before the Speaker The Mace and the good Old Cause The one he had to shew his Authoritie and the other to cover his The Mace was like a golden or silver Dream which commonly Ushers in ill Luck and The good Old Cause like the Curtain in the Frontispiece of Argalus and Parthenia which hides the Argument and Contents of the book But at length The Mystery of Iniquitie appeared in its colours and all their promises proved like the Heathenish Oracles capable of a double signification for they did according to their pretence make the King glorious but after an inglorious manner wickedly accomplishing that which Caligula sinfully desired a general Destruction at one blow a Decollation both of Prince and People Thus England that had for many hundred years enjoyed the blessings of God in the happy constitution and lawful name of Kingdome was according to the Principles of Dippers rebaptized in bloud Christned Common-wealth signed with the sign of the Red-Cross that she might not be ashamed to fight under the Banners of disloyal Regicides Then was wee like Hugh Peters his strange Beast Monstrum Horrendum a thing like a Kingdome and yet no Kingdome there was more legs in one side then the other and the tail stood where the head should stand then had not the Tower so many savage Creatures as the Parliament House and the Serpents skin was not so monstrous a sight as the Scottish Covenant A long time they sate but to what purpose To weave Spiders webs to hatch Cockatrice-egs They made fine Cobweb-lawes that would catch little Felons but would not hold Grand-Traitors Pettie thieves did sometimes stand at the Barre whilest great ones sate upon the Bench and blind Justice prepared a pair of Stocks for one sort of Drunkards and a Throne for another as though it were a greater sin to be drunk with Wine then Blood But herein was the height of their malice and crueltie that as they had destroyed Gods Image in their own souls and Mans Image in the KINGS Body so they thought it necessary to leave our Caesars Image upon the pieces of money and for their Coyne devised a new stamp a new Inscription Deus nobiscum no wonder It was a right Motto for the Silver was their Emanuel and of the Moneyes they might truly say God with us But Heaven was just and for all these things God called them to an account They who for a long time had used tedious Prayers as so many Graces before their meals of Widdowes houses They which had swallowed up such sweet morsels of unjustly sequestred lands they who were intoxicated with the Wine of the Grapes of Naboths Vineyard began now to surfet fell extream sick and were necessitated to one of these Remedies either the Halter or the Act of Indempnitie As for those who died in their beds and had their Trials adjourned till the Day of Judgement although thier Deaths were not Answerable to their deserts yet they were suitable to their lives and their latter end were like their beginning and the rest of their actions They lived and died notorious thieves for as in their life-time they plundered the Church so at their death they rob'd the Gallows FINIS
which serves onely to kindle green ones The place where she is most a stranger is the Church and the place which she best deserves is a pair of stocks but where she most desires to be is a Tavern or a Play-house Sometimes like Dinah she walks the streets sometimes like Jael she stands at the Door and sometimes like Jezabel she looks out at the window In brief she is a loathsome stinking Carrion too unclean to enter into Heaven too diseased to continue long upon earth the shame and stain of her Sex the scorn of wise men and the destruction of fools too foul a subject to be touched with any thing but a pen or a pair of Tongues and therefore I have done with her Foh how she stinks A happy Rustick IS one whose Conversation is in Heaven and his Habitation in the Country Where he injoyes two things which are very rare in the Citie a sweet Aire and a good Conscience He is such to God as he would have the Earth to be to himself fruitful according to that talent which is lent him and as in his labour he tastes the fruit of his sin so in his enjoyments he eats the fruit of his labour He is good out of a double principle partly out of ignorance of the evil he knows not but chiefly out of detestation of that he knows He hath studied Piety more then Court-ship and knows better how to pray then Complement Emanuel Thesaurus makes a kinde of jest at our Father Adams fall and says quia Deum non coluit Terram coluit but the honest Plowman doth both for though his imployment be like the imployment of Cain yet his sacrifice is like the sacrifice of Abel in this he differs from the silken Apes of London he hath durty hands and a clean heart He is early up both at his Devotion and Labour the watchful Cock is his Chaplain whose crowing puts him in mind not onely of his work but of his sins as it once did Peter The greatest part of the Day he spends in honest pains and when he takes his recreation it is harmless wholsome and manful Although he abounds not in wealth he is master of one precious Jewel a contented mind which like the Philosophers stone turns all it toucheth into Gold and makes every condition pleasant In short he is one at whose door the weary Cynick may set down his Lanthorn and say 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 A Beastly-Drunkard I Who these 26. years have been a Pilgrim in the wildernesse of this world have observed therein two sorts of Beasts There are Quadrupedes or fourefooted Beasts and these did God make in the great world and there are Bipedes or two-footed Beasts and these did man make in the little world of himself Unto the Beasts which God made did Adam give names but unto the Beasts which Man made did the Devil give names Amongst the rest a Drunkard which is in truth no other then a Swine doth our Grand Impostor call a good fellow But away with this vizzord such good fellows are not fit to have fellowship with God nor societie with good men but rather to go in the company of that bristled Herd which is turned out before the Swine-ard A Drunkard is inwardly and some times outwardly a beast he was once a man but his His Hostesse Circe or Morphandra with the powerful charm of her Pots and Flaggons hath quite changed his shape He was once a free man but now he is a slave to his own lust For he that makes Indentures with his feet doth bind himself Apprentice to Sensualitie he is condemned to the Prodigals drudgerie that is To feed swine to foster and foment an insatiable brutish appetite which hath learned the Language of the Horsleaches daughter Give Give Lastly he was once a living man but now he is dead in sin and like the French Embassadours child hath his heart buried in a cup. In the curse of Jeroboam God threatens to cut off him that pisseth against the wall the Drunkards may well have a share in this curse for they live onely to pisse against the wall even the lavish expence of that which should relieve and succour their poor wives and children But surely the stones of those walls shall crie out against these men at the day of judgement But to conclude let him that is an immoderate drinker remember the Story of Dives there is no tipling in Hell Let him remember the Story of Judas the sop made way for the Devil Let him consider the words of the young Prophets to Elisha There is death in the Pot. An ignorant old man IS one who dishonours his Age by his folly a man in years but a child in understanding he hath lived so long till the world and himself are mutually weary one of another And he cares not how soon he leaves this if he vvere but prepared for a better he is grovvn very near his grave but far enough from Heaven in his crookedness his soul and body observe an equal proportion for neither of them vvalk uprightly He vvill tell you many stories of things that vvere done in the dayes of Queen Elizabeth and yet you may pose him if you ask him vvhat he remembers of the last Sermon he heard Thus like a Crab-fish he is cravvling tovvards his long home and yet he looks backvvard at his former follies not considering his latter end spending most of his dayes in conning his Preterperfect tense but not at all regarding the Future Old men when they are vexed and discontented are very apt to invite death but in cold blood wonderous unwilling to give him entertainment Aesop tells us of an aged Man who being grievously laden with a bundle of sticks cast them down and as though his Life had been a burden unto him as well as his wood he began very passionately to call for Death Death who seldome stayes till he is called or sent for on the sudden appears Vouz Avez Master Mors What would my Grandsire have The old man that was willing to live another winter and to warm his fingers with the Fewel which he had provided intreated the grim Skelleton that he would onely help him up with his load Thus carnal spirits in some formal Confession may throw down the burden of their sins and desire to be dissolved but when the pale Messenger who must work his Dissolution once knocks at the doore and cries Adsum Oh how loth they are to die they had rather still live in their former slaverie although it is to be porters to sin and pack-horses to Satan Have you never been entertaind in a Noble Mans buttery and observed the policy of the servants how you must first drink with one then with another after him with another until every one hath had a single course at you and at last run you quite off your legs thus abusing their Lords Hospitalitie by making men drunk Just such is the world
where several temptations strive to intoxicate the poore stranger man there is a thing called Cupid which drinks the Sack of Eyes and the Claret of Lips There is a thing called Mammon who like Cleopatra or Sir Thomas Gresham doth swallow Pearles and Jewels There is another called Revenge which drinks nothing but blood In this Company hath our old man tippled away the Morn of his Youth the Noon of his Strength and the Evening of his Age and is now laid down to take a nap in the Grave where we leave him till the Resurrection A Player IS an Artificial fool that gets his living by making himself ridiculous he hath lickt up the Vomit of some drunken Poet like a jugler casts it up again before a thousand Spectators He is the ignorant mans Wonder the rich mans Jester and the Devils Factor that by a strange delusion sends men laughing to hell Yet I confess that Comedies if not prophane nor lascivious may be sometimes lawful recreations for great Persons whose melancholly heads are daily troubled with weightie Affaires But unto incontinent Youth those Martyrs of Lust and uncleanness they are but as Oyle to their flames and as bags of gun-powder tied under their Armes Hence it was that Heroick Sidney upon his Death-bed condemned that rare Monument of his matchless wit his Arcadia to be burned fearing perhaps least it should burn others Romances and Playes are dangerous Edge-Tooles which unwarie Readers must not meddle with They are hot burning Irons which Chaste Ladies like the Empresse Kunnigund may safely handle without hurt whilest other goe away with burned and seared Consciences The effeminate Citizens of Sybaris were so much given to mirth and jollitie that they taught their very Horses to dance but when the Martial Trumpet called forth these Carpet Knights into the Field the merry Palfreyes according to their former Education danced deaths dance before their Enemies How many of the more effeminate English are trained up in wantonnesse dancing and playing But I wonder how they will dance at the sound of the last Trumpet or what new Maske they will have at the day of Judgement But not to regard these Shaddowes let us looke a little at the Substanâ—e our Life is but an Interlude Happie is he that acts his part well There are some who turn a Comedie into a Tragedie and as the first Psalme begin with Blessednesse and end with perishing But he is the most excellent Actor who imitates Christ and the best Comoedie is a Holy Conversation A Mechanick Magistrate WHen God first created Man he did miraculously form him out of the Dust of the Earth without the Medium of Natural Generation and when Christ first Ordained Ministers he did extraordinarily call poor Fishermen from their Nets who had not the help of Humane Learning So likewise there was a time when God raised up Magistrates from mean employments Saul from seeking Asses David from keeping Sheep Sangaâ— and Gideon from Husbandrie to be Kings and Judges over his people But now miracles are ceased and although all men are Created by God yet they are begotten by men their Fathers And though all lawful Ministers are sent by God yet they are outwardly called by Bishops the Fathers of the Church though all true Magistrates are appointed by God yet they must have their Commissions from the King who is the Supream Earthly Magistrate and the Father of the Countrie We must not now look to see men immediately created or Magistrates and Ministers miraculously inspired and called It is folly and presumption to seek after either for there is as much unwarrantableness in the one as impossibilitie in the other Yet our Jereboam Cromwell did not onely make Priests of the meanest of the people but Justices of the basest of Trades-men We reade that Julius Caesar was stabbed to death with bodkins I confidently believe that it were the bodkins of Taylors the Aules of Coblers and the tooles of other Mechannicks not the Swords of any true Nobilitie or Gentrie that murdered our late Caesar of Glorious memory And these blew-aprond Benchers were called The Keepers of the Libertie of England and yet enemies to Truth disturbers of Peace perverters of Judgement and blots in the Magna Charta both of Humane and Divine Lawes Such a one was he who knew no other Law but that of the Sword and desired to act by an illegal arbitrarie power He was a great Enemy to Fidlers Wakes and May-Poles but poor beggers he persecuted without mercie For observe There was none so cruel against beggars as those that made them so When they came to his doore he would shew them the Courtesie of the Town a pair of Stocks or Whiping-post and sometimes his Charitie would prefer them to a Prison He lived frugally upon his ill-purchased Lands foreseeing perhaps the Change that was to follow For his Counsel he made use of his Clerk and some neighbouring Priest who came into the Pulpit by the same sword that brought him upon the Bench And for his Almoner he kept a great Mastiff Dog who would open at a stranger as loud as a Son of the Kirk of Scotland when he railes against the Prelates and Common-Prayer-Booke The basenesse of his spirit was seen in his insulting over Noble and Honourable Persons for he made his betters to buckle and comply and taught even Lords themselves to say Shibboleth As for those that stood out he robd them both of their profits and pleasures and allowed them neither wealth nor recreation but made their Houses become their Prisons and confined them to their own thresholds Thus were the poor Gentlemen inclosed in a Magick Circle where they continued until this Devil was conjured down For they durst not so much as ride a hunting for fear of him who like Nimrod was himself the greatest Hunter But now blessed be God that Game is over and some of those Dogs who like Acteons Hounds worried their Master are already hanged and the rest have Clogs and Collars and as for his Worship he is out of Commission abused contemned reviled and trampled upon by those people amongst whom he lately acted his part and played Justice Nimis to some and Nihil to others The Case is altered and Heaven hath now restored our Judges as at the first and our Counsellours as at the beginning and the Mechanical Magistrate is now made an Example and not a Minister of Justice A scandalous Minister TRue it is that we have all failings and every soul may read that word in Belshazzars Hand-writing and apply it to himself TEKEL Thou art weighed in the ballance and found wanting Yet there is an allowance for light Gold and Charitie will abate us of some of our infirmities There are degrees of wickednesse as well as goodnesse and as one Star differs from another in Glory so one sin differs from another in Malignitie Mens transgressions are like their Talents some have more and some lesse Chorazin and Bethsaida out-sinned