the world nor the world perfectly crucified to thee 7 But give diligent eare to my words and thou shalt litle respect ten thousand words spoken by men 8 Behold if all should be spoken against thee that could be most maliciously invented what would it hurt thee if thou sufferedst it to passe and madest no reckoning at all of it Could all those words pluck as much as one haire from thy head 9 But he that hath not his heart within him nor God before his eyes is easily moved with every litle dispraise when as he that trusteth in me and trusteth not in his own judgement shall be free from humane feares 10 For I am the Iudge and discerner of all secrets I know how the matter passed I know him that offereth the injury and him that suffereth it 11 From me hath this word proceeded this hath happened by my permission that out of many hearts thoughts may be revealed 12 I shall judge the guilty and the innocent but by a secret judgement I would before hand try them both 13 The testimony of men oftentimes deceaveth my judgement is alwaies true it shall stand and not be overthrowne 14 It is commonly hidden and secret and not known in every thing but to few notwithstanding it never erreth neither can it erre although to the eyes of the foolish it seemes not right 15 Men ought therefore to return to me in every judgement and not to stand in their owne opinions 16 For the just man will not be troubled whatsoever happeneth unto him from God and if any thing be wrongfully brought forth against him he will not much care neither will he vainely be glad if by others he be with reason excused 17 For he considereth that I am he that searcheth the heart and reines and doe judge not according to the outward face nor humane apparence 18 For that is oftentimes found â—ulpable in my sight that in the judgement of men is thought to be commendable 19 O Lord my God the just Iudge strong and patient thou knowest the frailty and perversity of man be thou my strength and all my trust for mine own conscience sufficeth me not 20 Thou knowest that which I cannot reach unto and therefore in every reprehension I ought to have submitted my selfe and to have borne iâ— patiently 21 Vouchsafe mercifully to pardon me as often as I have failed herein and give me againe grace of greateâ— sufferance 22 For thy bountifull mercy is more availeable to me for the obtaining of pardon then my conceaved justice for the defence of my hidden conscience 23 Although my conscience accuse me not yet I cannot hereby justify my selfe for if thy mercy be away â—o man living shall be justified in thy â—ight CHAP. XLVII That all grievous things are to be endured for life everlasting SOnne let not the paines dismay thee which thou hast undertaken for me neither be thou discomforted for the tribulations which doe befall thee but let my promise strengthen and comfort thee in all events 2 I am able to reward thee above all measure Thou shalt not long toyle here nor alwaies be oppressed with griefe attend a while and thou shalt see a speedy end of thy evils 3 There will come an houre wheâ— all labour and trouble shall cease Litlâ— and short is all that passeth away with time 4 Doe as thou doest labour faithfully in my vineyard I will be thy reward Write read sing mourne keepe silence pray suffer crosses manfully life everlasting is worthy of all these and greater combats 5 Peace shall come in the day which is knowne unto our Lord and â—here shall be no day nor night to wit of this time but everlasting light infinite brightnesse stedfast peace and secure rest 6 Then thou shalt not say who shall deliver me from the body of this death nor cry woe be unto me for that my dwelling in a strange country is prolonged 7 For death shall be throwne downe and health shall be without decay no anxiety blessed joy sweet and glorious company 8 O if thou hadst seene the everlasting crowne of the Saints in heaven and with how great glory they now rejoyce who in times past were conâ—â—mptible to this worldâ— and esteemed unworthy of life it selfe 9 Truly thou wouldest presently humble thy selfe even unto the earth and wouldst rather seeke to be under the feet of all then to have command so much as over one 10 Neither wouldest thou desire the pleasant daies of this life but rather rejoyce to be afflicted for Godâ— and esteeme it thy greatest gaine to be reputed as nothing amongst men 11 O if thou hadst a feeling of these things and didst suffer them to enter into the depth of thy heart how durst thou so much as once to complaine 12 Are not all painfull labours to be endured for everlasting life It is no small matter to loose or to gaine the Kingdome of heaven 13 Lift up thine eyes therefore unto heaven behold I and all my Saints with me who in this world had great conflicts doe now rejoyce now are comforted now are secure now doe rest and shall remaine with me everlastingly in the Kingdome of my Father CHAP. XLVIII Of the everlasting day and shortnesse of this life O Most blessed mansion of the heavenly City O most cleare day of eternity which night obscureth not but the highest truth ever enlightneth day ever pleasant ever secure and never changing into a contrary state 2 O that that day would once appeare and all these temporall things were at an end 3 To the Saints it shineth glistering with everlasting brightnesse but to those that are Pilgrims upon earth it appeareth only a farre off and as it were through a glasse 4 The inhabitants of heaven doe know how joyfull that day is but the banished children of Eve bewaile the bitternesse and tediousnesse of this 5 The daies of this life are short and evill full of sorrow and anguish where man is defiled with many sinnes incumbred with many passions disquieted with many feares filled with many cares 6 Distracted with many curiosities intangled with many vanities compassed a bout with many errours worne away with many labours vexed with temptations weakned with delights tormented with want 7 O when shall these evils be at an end When shall I be delivered from the miserable bondage of sin When shall I think O Lord of thee alone 8 When shall I perfectly rejoyce in thee When shall I be free from all impediments in true liberty without all griefe of mind and body 9 When shall I have firme peace peace secure and without trouble peace within and without pence every way assured 10 O good Iesu when shall I stand to behold thee When shall I contemplate the glory of thy Kingdome 11 When wilt thou be unto me all in all things O when shall I be with thee in thy Kingdome which thou hast prepared for thy beloved from before all worlds 12 I am left
spirit of contrition 25 And say with the Prophet feed me O Lord with the bread of tears and give me plenteousnesse of tears to drink CHAP. XXII Of the Consideration of humane misery MIserable thou art wheresoever thou be or whithersoever thou turnest unlesse thou turne thy selfe un to God 2 Why art thou troubled when things succeed not as thou wouldst or desirest for who is he that hath all things accoording to his mind 3 Neither I nor thou nor any man upon the earth there is none in this world be he King or Pope without some tribulation or other 4 Who is then in the best estate or condition even he who for God's sake can suffer affliction 5 Many weake and fraile men can say O what an happy life hath such a one how wealthy how mighty he is in how great honour and credit 6 But lift up thine eyes to the riches of heaven and thou shall perceive that all the goods of this life are nothing so be accounted of 7 They are very uncertain rather burthensome then delightfull because they are never enjoyed without carefulnesse and feare 8 Mans happinesse consisteth not in having abundance of wealth but a meane estate should content him it is truly misery enough even to live upon the earth 9 The more a man hungreth after godlinesse the more he abhorreth this life because he seeth more cleerly and perceiveth more sensibly the defects of humane corruption 10 For to eat and to drink to sleep and to watch to labour and to rest and to be subject to other necessities of nature is doubtlesse a great misery to a devout mind that would gladly be free and delivered from sinne 11 For the inward man is much oppressed with these outward and corporall necessities whilst we live in this world 12 Therefore the holy Prophet prayeth with great devotion to be delivered from them saying draw me O Lord out of my necessities 13 But woe be to them that know not their owne misery and a greater woe to them that take delight in this miserable and corruptible life 14 And some there be so much dote upon it although with great labour and paines they can scarce get bread to eat yet could they live here alwaies they would care but litle for the Kingdome of heaven 15 O how mad are these in their braines and faithlesse in their hearts who lie so deeply drowned in the earth that they can think of nothing but earthly things 16 But miserable wretches as they are they shall in the end feele to their cost how vile and vaine that was which they loved 17 Whereas the Saints of God and all the fast friends of Christ looke not on those things which pleased the flesh and flourished for a time but panted after everlasting rreasures with all greedinesse and desire 18 Their whole desire was carried upward to things durable and invisible that the desire of things visible might not draw them to things below 19 O Brother loose not thy confidence to come forward in godlinesse there is yet time the houre is not yet past 20 Why wilt thou deferre thine amendment from day to day arise and begin this very instant and say now is the time to be doing now is the time to be working now is the best time to amend my selfe 21 When thou art ill at ease and much troubled then is the time to profit best thou must passe through fire and water before thou comest to a place of refreshing 22 Vnlesse thou offer violence to thy selfe thou shalt never get the victory over sinne so long as we carry about us this fraile body of ours we can never be without sinne or live without sorrow 23 We could gladly be quiet and freed from all misery but seeing by sin we have lost our innocency we have by that also forfeited our felicity 24 Therefore we must hold our selves content and expect the mercy of God till this our iniquitie be put away and this mortality of ours be swallowed up of life 25 O how great is humane frailty which is alwaies prone to evill to day thou confessest thy sinnes and to morrow thou committest the very same thou hast confessed 26 Now thou art in the mind to looke well unto thy waies and within a while thou so behavest thy selfe as though thou hadst never any such mind at all 27 Good cause have we therefore to humble our selves and never to have any great conceit of our worth we are so fraile in our nature so inconstant in our courses 28 Besides that may quickly be lost by our owne negligence which by the grace of God and our owne great paines we have scarce at length obtained 29 What will become of us in the end who begiu to waxe cold so timely 30 Woe be unto us if we will now give our selves to ease as if all were in peace and safetie when yet there appeareeh no signe of sanctity in our conversations 31 We have need like young beginners be newly instructed againe to good manners if happily there be any hope of our future amendment and spirituall progresse CHAP. XXIII Of the meditation of Death THere will very quickly be an end of thee here therefore see what will become of thee hereafter To day a man to morrow none and out of sight out of mind 2 O the stupidity and hardnesse of mans heart who thinketh only upon the present and hath no care of the time to come 3 Thou shouldst so order thy selfe in all thy thoughts and actions as if to day yea this very moment thou we it ready to depart 4 Hadst thou a clear conscience thou wouldst not greatly feare death care not so much for the death of this body as the sinne of thy soule 5 If thou art not prepared to day how wilt thou be prepared to morrow thou knowest not what will be to morrow and how knowest thou that thou shalt live till to morrow 6 What are we the better to live long if we prove not the better by long living for length of daies doth oftnes make our sinnes the greater then our lives the better 7 O that we had spent but one day well in this world 8 Many keepe in mind how long it is since their conversion and yet forget to fructifie in a holy conversation 9 If to die be accounted dreadfull to live long may prove more dangerous happy is he that hath his end before his eies and prepareth himselfe to die daily 10 If at any time thou hast seen an other man die make account thou must follow him he hath shewed thee but the way 11 When it is morning think thou maist die before night and when evening comes presume not upon next morning 12 Be thou therefore alwaies in a readinesse and so lead thy life that death may never take thee unprepared 13 Many die suddenly and when they look not for it for the sonne of man will come when we think not of his comming 14
and look only to thy selfe 11 Furthermore thou shalt gaine much if thou shalt keep thy selfe fâ—ce from all worldly cares and thou shalt greatly decay if thou make any account of earthly things 12 Account nothing great nothing high nothing gratefull nothing acceptable but God alone or that which is from God 13 Esteem all comfort vain which thou receivest from any creature the soul that loveth God despiseth all things in respect of God 14 God alone who is eternall infinite and incomprehensible is the comfort of the soule and the true joy of the heart CHAP. VI. Of the joy of a good Conscience THe glory of a good man is the testimony of a good conscience have a good conscience and thou shalt ever have joy 2 A good conscience is able to endure much and is exceeding cheerfull in adversities an evill conscience is alwaies fearfull and unquiet 3 Thou shalt rest quietly if thine heart reprove thee not rejoyce not but when thou hast done well 4 Wicked men have never any true joy neither doe they feele inward peace for there is no peace to the wicked saith the Lord. 5 Although they say we live in peace there shall no evill happen unto us and who dares doe us any harm 6 Believe them not for suddenly shall the wrath of the Lord arise and their actions shall turn to nothing and their cogitations shall utterly perish 7 To glory in tribulation is no hard thing to him that loveth for so to glory is to glory in the Crosse of our Lord. 8 The glory is short which is given and received from men sorrow alwaies attends the glory of the world 9 The glory of the good is in the testimony of a good conscience and not in the tongues of men the gladnesse of the just is of God and in God and their joy is of the truth 10 He that desireth true and everlasting glory careth not for that which is temporall and he that seeketh after temporall glory or contemneth it not from his heart is lesse in love with heavenly 11 He injoyeth great tranquility of mind that eareth not for the praises or dispraises of men he is easily content and pacified whose conscience is pure 12 Thou art not the more holy for being commended nor the more vile for being dispraised thou art what thou art neither canst thou be greater then what thou art in the sight of God 13 If thou consider what thou art within thee thou wilt not care what men say of thee man seeth but the face but God considereth the heart 14 Man looketh upon the deeds but God weigheth the intentions to doe alwaies well and to esteeme litle of thy selfe is a signe of an humble mind 15 To refuse to be comforted by any creature is a signe of great purity and inward confidence 16 He that seeketh a thing without himselfe to bear witnesse of himselfe it is plain he hath referred himselfe wholly unto God 17 For not he that commendeth himselfe the same is approved saith S. Paul but hee whom God commendeth 17 To walk inwardly with God and not to be possessed with any outward affection is the state of an inward and spirituall man CHAP. VII Of the love of Iesus above all things BLessed is he that understandeth what it is to love Iesus and to despise himselfe for Iesus sake 2 Thou oughest to leave thy beloved for thy beloved thy beloved sin for thy beloved Saviour for that Iesus will alone be beloved above all things 3 The love of the creature is deceiptfull and unconstant the love of Iesus is faithfull and permanent 4 He that cleaveth to creatures shall full with that which is ready to fall he that embraceth Iesus shall be fastned into him 5 Love him and keep him for thy friend who when all goe away will not forsake thee nor suffer thee to perish in the end 6 Prevent the world and begin to forsake it first before it forsake thee for thou must one day be left of all men whether thou wilt or no. 7 Stick thee close to Iesus both in life and death and commit thy selfe unto his trust who when all faile can alone helpe thee 8 Thy beloved is of that nature that he will none of that which appertaineth to others but will have thy heart alone and sit like a King in his owne throne 9 If thou couldest purge thy selfe perfectly of all creatures Iesus would willingly dwell with thee whatsoever confidence thou reposest in men without Iesus is all no better then lost 10 Trust not nor rely upon a reed full of wind for that all flesh is as grasse and all the glory thereof shall wither away as the flower of the field 11 Thou shalt quickly be deceived if thou look only to the outward shew of men and if in them thou seekest for comfort and commodity thou shalt instead thereof often feele losses and crosses 12 If thou seekest Jesus in all things thou shalt surely find Iesus but if thou seekest thy selfe thou shalt also find thy selfe but to thine own destruction 13 For man doth more hurt himselfe if he seeke not Iesus then the whole world and all his adversaries could annoy him CHAP. VIII Of familiar oonversation with IESVS VVHen Iesus is present all is well and nothing seemeth difficult but when Iesus is absent every thing is hard 2 When Iesus speaketh not inwardly unto us our comfort is nothing worth but if Iesus speak but one word we feele much consolation 3 Did not Mary Magdalen presently rise from the place where she wept when Martha said unto her Thy master is here and calleth thee 4 Happy is the houre when Iesus calleth from the teares of the eyes to the joy of the spirit How dry and hard art thou without Iesus How foolish and vaine if thou desire any thing out of Iesus Is not this a greater losse then if thou shouldest loose the whole world 5 What can the world profit thee without Iesus To be without Iesus is a grievous hell and to be with Iesus is a sweet Paradise 6 If Iesus be with thee no enemy can hurt thee he that findeth Iesus findeth a good treasure yea a good above all goods 7 And he that looseth Iesus looseth too much and more then the whole world He is most poore that liveth without Iesus and he most rich that is well with Iesus 8 It is a great skil to know how to converse with Iesus and a great wisdome to know how to keepe Iesus 9 Be humble and peaceable and Iesus will be with thee be devout and quiet and Iesus will stay with thee 10 Thou maist drive away Iesus and loose his grace if thou givest thy selfe to outward things 11 And if thou shouldest drive him from thee and loose him unto whom wilt thou fly and what friend wilt thou then seeke 12 Without a friend thou canst not well live and if Iesus be not above all a friend unto thee thou shalt be too too
it be subject to the spirit 12 And it is to be chastised so long and to be forced under servitude untill it readily obey in all things and learne to be content with a litle and to be pleased with ordinary things and not to murmure against any inconvenience CHAP. XII Of the effect of Patience and of strife against Concupiscence LOrd God I perceive Patience is very necessary unto me for that many adversities doe happen in this life 2 Howsoever I shall dispose of my peace my life cannot be without warre and affliction 3 So it is Sonne and my will is not that thou seeke after that peace which is void oftemptations or that feeleth no contrarieties 4 But then think that thou hast found peace when thou art exercised with sundry tribulations and tried in many adversities 5 If thou say that thou art not able to suffer much how then wilt thou endure the fire of hell Of two evils the lesse is alwaies to be chosen 6 That thou maist therefore avoid everlasting punishments in the next world endeavour to suffer patiently for God the present evils of this 7 Doest thou think that men of this world suffer litle or nothing Thou art deceived look into the life even of them that live in greatest delicacies and thou shalt find it otherwise 8 But thou wilt say they have many delights and follow their own wils and therefore they make smal accompt of their tribulations 9 Be it so that they have whatsoever they will but how long doest thou think it will last 10 Behold the wealthy of this world vanish away like smoke and there shall be no memory of their joyes past 11 Yea even while they live also they rest not in them without griefe irksomnesse and feare 12 For the selfe same thing in which they take their delight is oftentimes the cause of sorrow unto them and muâ—h affliction 13 They have their desert who for that they immoderately seeke and follow delights they doe not obtaine them but with shame and sorrow 14 O how short and deceiptfull how inordinate and filthy are all those pleasures 15 Yea so senselesse and blind are men that they understand it not but like dumbe beasts for a litle pleasure of a corruptible life they incurre the eternall death of their soule 16 Doe not thou therefore my Sonne follow thy inordinate concupiscence but forsake thine owne will delight thou in the Lord and he will give thee thy hearts desire 17 If thou desire true delight and to be more plentifully comforted by me behold in the contempt of all worldly things and in the cutting off of all base delights shall be thy blessing and aboundant comfort shall be given thee 18 And how much the more thou withdrawest thy selfe from all comfort of creatures so much the sweeter and more forcible consolations shalt thou find in me 19 But at first thou canst not attaine unto them without a certaine griefe labour and strife 20 The old custome will make resistance and thou must overcome it with another custome that is better Thy flesh will murmure but thou must bridle it with fervour of spirit 21 The old Serpent will sting and trouble thee but by praier he shall be put to flight and with profitable labour thou shalt shut the doore against him CHAP. XIII Of the humble obedience of a subject according to the example of Christ. SOnne hee that endeavoureth to withdraw himselfe from obedience withdraweth himselfe from grace And he that seeketh to have things in private shall loose the common 2 He that doth not willingly and freely submit himselfe to his Superior it is a signe that his flesh is not yet perfectly obedient unto him but oftentimes rebelleth and murmureth against him 3 Learne therefore readily to submit thy selfe to thy Superior if thou desirest to subdue thine owne Passions 4 For the outward enemy is sooner overcome if the inward man be in good estate 5 There is no worse enemy not more troublesome to the soule then thou unto thy selfe not agreeing well with the spirit 6 Thou must of necessity have a true contempt of thy selfe if thou wilt prevaile against flesh and blood 7 Because thou lovedst thy selfe as yet too inordinately therefore thou art afraid to resigne thy selfe wholly to the will of others 8 But what great matter is it if thou that art dâ—st and nothing submittest thy selfe to man for God's sake 9 When I the Almighty and highest Soveraigne who created all things of nothing humbly submitted my selfe unto man for thee 10 I became the most humble and abject of all men that thou mightst overcome thy pride with thy humility 11 Learne to obey thou that art dust Learne to humble thy selfe thou earth and clay and put thy selfe under the feet of all men Learne to breake thine own will and to yeeld thy selfe to all subjection 12 Take courage against thy selfe and suffer not pride to live in thee but humble and submit thy selfe to all that every one may goe over thee and tread thee as dirt of the streets under their feet 13 Vaine man what canst thou complain of what canst thou answer foule sinner to them that reprove thee who hast so often offended God and so many times deserved hell 14 But mine eye hath spared thee because thy soule was precious in my sight that thou mightest know my love and alwaies remaine gratefull for my benefits 15 That thou mightest continually give thy selfe to true subjection and humility and mightest beare patiently the contempt of thy selfe CHAP. XIIII Of the secret Iudgments of God to be considered lest we be extoâ—â—ed in our good deeds THou thundrest thy Iudgments over me Lord and shakest all my bones with feare and trembling and my soule is fore afraid 2 I stand astonished and consider for that the heavens are not pure in thy sight If thou hast found wickednesse in Angels and hast not pardoned them what shall become of me 3 Starres fell from heaven and what doe I presume that am dust They whose workes seemed laudable fell into the lowest 4 And I have seene them that did eate the bread of Angels to be delighted with the husks of swine 5 There is no sanctity if thou O Lord withdrawest thy hand no wisdome availeth if thou ceasest to govern 6 No strength helpeth if thou leavest to defend no chastitie secure if thou doest not protect it 7 No custodie of our owne profitable if thy sacred watchfulnesse be not present 8 For if thou leavest us we sink and perish but if thou vouchsafest to visit us wee are raised up and do enjoy life 9 We are inconstant but by thee we are strengthened we waxe cold but by thee we receive heate 10 O how meanly and basely ought I to think of my self how litle yea nothing ought I to esteem it if I seeme to have any good 11 O Lord how ought I to submit my selfe under thy unsearchable Iudgments where I find my selfe to be nothing
me 10 Keepe me from all sinne and I wil neither feare death nor hell so as thou doest not for ever cast me from thee and blot me out of the Book of life what tribulation soever befall me shall not hurt me CHAP. XVIII That temporall miseries by the example of Christ are to be borne patiently SOnne I descended from Heaven for thy health I tooke upon me thy miseries my charity and not any necessity drawing me thereunto that thou mightest learne patience and not refuse to beare temporall miseries 2 For from the houre of my birth until my death on the Crosse I was not without suffering of griefe I suffered great want of temporall things I often heard many complaints against me 3 I beare patiently shame and reproaches for benefits I received ingratitude for miracles blasphemies for heavenly doctrine reprehensions 4 Lord for that thou wert patient in thy life time chiefly in fulfilling the commandement of thy Father 5 It is reason that I miserable sinner should have patience in all things according to thy will and for mine owne health beare the burthen of this corruptible life as long as thou wilt 6 For although this present life be burdensome yet notwithstanding it is now by thy grace made very easy and by thy example and footsteps of thy Saints more plaine and tolerable to the weake 7 Yea much more comfortable also then it was in times past in the old Law when the gate of heaven remained shut and the way also to heaven seemed darke when so few tooke care to seeke after thy Kingdome 8 Neither they also that then were just and ordained to be saved could enter into the heavenly glory before thy Passion the debt of thy sacred death was discharged 9 O how great thanks am I bound to give thee that thou hast vouchsafed to shew unto me and to all faithful soules a direct and sure way to thy everlasting Kingdome 10 For thy life is our way and by holy patience we goe unto thee that art our Crowne 11 If thou hadst not gone before us and taught us who would have taken care to follow 12 Alas how many would stay behind and remain farre off if they beheld not thy excellent examples 13 Behold we are yet cold although we have heard of so many of thy wouders and thy heavenly documents what would become of us if we had not so great light to follow thee CHAP. XIX Of suffering of injuries and who is proved to be truly patientâ— VVHat is it thou saiest Sonneâ— Cease to complaine considering my passion and that of my other Saints thou hast not yet made resistance unto blood 2 It is but litle thou sufferest in comparison of them that have suffered so much so strongly tempted so grievously afflicted so many waies tried exercised 3 Thou oughtest therefore to call to mind the heavy suffrings of others that thou maist the easier beare the litle adversities which thou sufferest 4 And if they seem not litle beware lest thy impatience be cause thereof Yet whether they be litle or great endeavour to beare all patiently 5 How much the better thou disposest thy selfe to suffering so much the more wisely thou dost and so much the more favour doest thou procure 6 Thou shalt more easily also endure it if thy mind be prepared and thy selfe accustomed thereunto 7 Doe not say I cannot suffer these things of such a one at the hands of such a person nor such things are not to be suffered by me 8 For hee hath done mee great wrong and upbraided me with those things which I never thought of but of another I will willingly suffer and as I shall see cause 9 Such a thought is foolish it considereth not the vertue of patience noâ— by whom it shall be crowned but rather weigheth the persons and the injuries offered 10 He is not truly patient that will not suffer but as much as he thinketh good and by whom he listeth 11 But he that is indeed patient mindeth not by whom he is exercised whether by his superiour or some of his equalls or by his inferior whether by a good and holy man or by a perverse and unworthy person 12 But indifferently from all creatures how much soever or how often soever any adversity happeneth unto him he taketh all thankfully as from the hands of God and esteemeth it a great gaine 13 For that nothing with God how little soever so it be suffered for God can be without reward 14 Be thou therefore alwaies prepared for to fight if thou wilt have the victory Without combat thou canst not attaine unto the Crowne of patience 15 If thou wilt not suffer thou refusest to be crowned but if thou desirest to be crowned fight manfully and endure patiently 16 Without labour there is no comming to rest nor without fight can the victory be obtained 17 Lord let that be made possible to me by thy grace which seemeth impossible to me by nature 18 Thou knowest that I can suffer litle and that I am quickly dismayed when a small adversity ariseth 19 Let all exercise of tribulation be made pleasing unto mee and be welcome for thy name for to suffer and to be troubled for thee is very profitable for my soule CHAP. XX. Of the acknowledging of our owne infirmity and of the miseries of this life I Will confesse against me my injustice I will confesse unto thee O Lord my infirmity Oftentimes it is a small matter that discomforteth and grieveth me 2 I purpose to resist with courage but when a small temptation cometh if bringeth me into very narrow straits 3 It is sometimes a very trifle from whence great temptations doe proceed And whilest I think my selfe somewhat safe when I least expect it I finde my selfe sometimes overcome with a small blast 4 Behold therefore Lord my humility my frailty every way known unto thee 5 Have mercy on me and deliver me out of the mire of my infirmities that I stick not fast therein let me not for ever remain dejected 6 This is that which oftentimes beareth me back and confoundeth me in thy sight for that I am so subiect to fall and weak in resisting of my passions 7 And though I doe not altogether consent yet their continuall assaults are troublesome and grievous unto me and it is tedious and a very irksome thing to live thus daily in strife 8 Hereby my infirmity is made known unto me for that wicked fancies doe alwaies much more easily enter in upon me then they can be cast out againe 9 O mighty God of Israel the zealous lover of faithfull soules let it please thee to consider the labour sorrow of thy servant and assist him in all whatsoever he undertaketh 10 Strengthen me with heavenly force lest my old man my miserable flesh not fully as yet subject to the spirit prevaile and get the upper hand against which I ought to fight as long as I breath in this miserable life
thy will which now thou willingly forsakest thou shalt alwaies have thy will in heaven 26 There thou shalt have all that thou wilt or canst desire there thou shalt enjoy all good without feare of loosing it there shall thy will be ever one with me it shall desire nothing strange or private 27 There no man shall withstand thee no man hinder thee nothing come against thee but all things desired shall be there together present and refresh thy whole affection and fulfill it to the highest 28 There I will returne thee glory for the reproach which here thou sufferedst a garment of praise for former griefe for the lowest place a seat of an everlasting Kingdome 29 There shall the fruit of obedidience appeare the labour of repentance rejoyce and humble subjection shall be gloriously crowned 30 Now therefore bow thy selfe with great humility under the hâ—nds of all and regard not who said or commanded this 31 But take great heed that whether thy Superiour or thy inferiour or thine equall require any thing of thee or doe insinuate their desire thou take it all in good part and endeavour to fulfill it with a sincere intention 32 Let one seeke this another that let him glory in this the other in that and be praised a thousand thousand times 33 But doe thou neither rejoyce in this not in that but in the contempt of thy selfe and in the good pleasure and honour of me alone 34 This art thou to wish that whether it be by life or whether it be by death God may be alwaies glorified in thee CHAP. L. How a desolate person ought to offer himselfe into the â—ands of God LOrd God Holy Fatherâ— thy holy name be now and for ever bleâ—â—ed because so it is done as thou wouldest have it and it is good â—what thou wouldest have done 2 Let thy servant rejoyce in thee not in himselfe nor in any thing else â—or thou alone art the true gladnesse thou art my hope and my crowne thou art my joy and my honour O Lord. 3 What hath thy servant but what he hath received from thee even without any desert of his Thine is all that thou hast given and whatsoever thou â—â—st made 4 I am poore and in labours from my youth and sometimes my soule is heavy even unto teares sometimes also she is troubled at her selfe by reason of passions which rise against her 5 I desire the joy of peace I earnestly crave the â—peace of thy children that are fed by thee in the light of comfort 6 If thou give peace if thou infuse holy joy the soule of thy servant shall be full of heavenly sweetnesse and shal become devout in thy praise 7 But if thou withdraw thy selfe as very often thou art wont he will not be able to runne the waies of thy commandements but rather he boweth his knees and knocketh his breast 8 For it is not with him as it was yesterday and the day before when thy light shined upon his head and he was protected under the shadow of thy wings from the temptations which violently assaulted him 9 O righteous Father and ever to be praised the houre is come that thy servant is to be proved O beloved Father it is fit that in this houre thy servant suffer something for thee 10 O Father worthy of eternall honour the houre is come which from all eternity thou didst foâ—eknow should come 11 That for a short time thy servant should outwardly be oppressed but inwardly live for ever with thee 12 He should be a litle despised and humbled and made as an abiect in the sight of men and much afflicted with passions and infirmities that in the morning of the new light he may rise againe with thee and be glorified in heavenly places 13 Holy Father thou hast appointed it so and wilt have it so and this is fulfilled which thy selfe hast commanded 14 For this benefit thou bestowest upon thy friend that albeit for thy sake he must suffer affliction in this world yet is it but how often and by whom and as thou wilt give leave 15 For in the world nothing commeth to passe either without thy counsell without thy providence or without a cause why 16 It is good for me Lord that thou hast humbled me that I may learne thy righteous Iudgments and cast away all haughtinesse of heart and presumption 17 It is profitable to me that shame hath covered my face that I may rather seeke to thee for comfort then to men 18 I have learned also hereby to dread thy inscrutable judgment that afflictâ—st the just with the wicked but not without equity and iustice 19 I give thee thankes that thou hast not spared my sinnes but hast worne me away with bitter stripes inflicting sorrowes and sending griefes within and without 20 There is none under heaven that can comfort me but thou my Lord God the heavenly Physitian of souleâ— that strikest and healest bringest into hell and drawest out again let thy correction be upon me and let thy rod instruct me 21 Behold beloved Father I am â—n thy hands I bow my selfe under the â—od of thy correction let my neck and shoulders feele the stripes of thy chastisement that my crookednesse may be conformed to thy will 22 Make â—â—â—devouâ— and humble disciple of thine as thou art wont very well to doe that I may be ready at every beck of thy divine pleasure 23 I commend my selfe and all mine unto thee to be corrected It is better to be rebuked here then hereafter 24 Thou knowest all and every thing and there is nothing hidden from thee in the conscience of man 25 Before things are done thou knowest that they will happen and hast no need that any should teach thee or admonish thee of those things which are done on earth 26 Thou knowest what is expedient for my good and how much tribulation is fit for purging the rust of my sins 27 Doe with me according to thy â—esired pleasure and despise not mâ— sinfull life better and more clearly known to none then to thee alone 28 Grant me Lord to know that which is to be knowne to love that which is to be beloved to praise that which pleaseth thee most to esteeme that which is precious unto thee to despise that which is contemptible in thy sight 29 Suffer me not to iudge according to the sight of the outward eyes to give sentencâ— according to the hearing of the eares of ignorant men 30 But to discerne of visible and spirituall things with a true iudgmeâ—t and above all things ever to search after thy good will and pleasure 31 The senses of men are often deceived in their iudgments the lovers of the world are also deceived in loving only visible things What is a man the better for that he is esteemed great by man 32 The deceitfull in exalting the deceitfull the vaine man in extolling the vaine the blind in conducting the blind the weake in magnifying the