eate the bread of sorrowes for so wee give our beloved sleepe and why then should I delight in vanitie Prov. 6 10. Yet a litle sleepe therfore a litle slumber a litle folding of the hands to sleepe But hearke What 's that Mee think's I heare some-body call and say How long wilt thou sleepe vers 9. ô sluggard When wilt thou arise out of thy sleepe Yes I did heare some-body call so indeede It was none other but God himselfe by the mouth of King Solomon Even the same who telleth mee that If I doe not arise vers 11 then shall povertie come upon mee as one that travaileth and my want as an armed man c. 20.13 I must not love sleepe therfore lest I come to povertie but I must open mine eyes and I shall be satisfied with bread Well then I 'le rubb mine eyes and rowze up my selfe and bethinke my selfe of my businesse but first I will thinke upon the first upon the best upon God I have reason to give him the first the chiefest roome in my meditations because I layd mee downe and slept Ps 3.5 and againe I am now awaked and all this through the mercy and goodnesse of the Lord who sustained mee Hee preserved mee who neither slumbereth Ps 121.4 Ps 44.23 nor sleepeth allthough David cryeth out to him and saith Awake why sleepest thou ô Lord Arise cast us not off for ever But this was onely through the fervencie of his devotion in a time of severe persecution and affliction for at another time it was hee himselfe who confessed Ps 111.4 that Hee which keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleepe Surely hee may more properly call out from heaven to mee then David upon earth did to him in heaven and say Awake why sleepest thou Yea so indeede hee doeth promiseth mee and offereth mee the morning starre to light mee But it is upon condition that I must first overcome Overcome What Must I overcome my sleepe That I have done Must I over-come mine enemies Those I am commanded to love Mat. 5.44 Yet I must over-come mine enemies my sinnes and I must allso over-come my selfe Ps 18.28 the sinner and then I am sure hee will light my candle as hee did Davids The Lord my God will inlighten my darknesse hee will give mee comfort joy and prosperitie after my trouble Nay a candle shall not serve my turne hee hath promised to give mee a starre the morning starre which shall both enlighten my soule with the brightnesse of divine knowledg in this morning of a happinesse begunne and allso enlighten mee hereafter in the morning of the generall re-surrection when my body shall be glorified together with my soule I shall shine as the starres for ever and ever Dan. 12 3. Hee will give mee the morning starre to enlighten mee not to torment mee The prince of darknesse was once an Angel of light and then even hee was a morning stame but now I may say with the Prophet Is 14.12 verf. 13 How art thou fallen from heaven ô Lutifier sonne of the morning How art thou cutt dowme to the ground which saydest in thine heart I will exalt my throne above the starres of God! This starre I hope hee will not suffer to deceave mee with his false and deluding light for his glaring is but a counterfeit light and his leading tend's to the burning brimstone Noe hee will give mee a better starre even him who came to be a light to lighten the Gentiles Lu. 2.32 and to be the glorie of the people Israel even the Prophet of the highest C. 1.76 Vers 79 who giveth light to them that sâ—tt in darknesse and in the shadow of death And who is that but hee which professeth himselfe to be the roote Reu. 22 16. and the off-spring of David and the bright and the morning starre Hee himselfe hath shewed mee what I should doe hee hath taught mee by his owne example what dueties I should performe for I find it recorded of him that In the morning Mar. 1.35 rising up early a greate while before day hee went out and departed into a solitarie place and prayed So should I doe too I should doe so now for it is now about the same time or at most it differeth not much I will therfore arise I will arise out of my sinnes by his blessing I will arise out of them before day even before the day of the Lord cometh 2. Pet. 3 10. and I will goe out of them or force them out of mee I will depart from them into a solitarie place and retire to my meditations and be both solitarie and sorrowfull for all the offences which I have committed and then I will pray I will pray for forgivenesse through the meritts of him who prayed so early Or if I am too weake to master my selfe in this holy resolution I will besiech him that I may be as Simon Mar 1.36 and those that were with him that I may at leastwise follow after him Surely hee can so illuminate my thoughts that I may see thereby to performe my duety It was that morning starre which enlightened David and made him take up that holy resolution Ps 5.3 saying My voyce shalt thou heare in the morning ô Lord in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee and will locke up It was hee who enlightened him to put in practise that very resolution for hee himselfe testifieth of himselfe Ps 130.6 saying My soule wayteth for the Lord more then they that watch for the morning I say more then they that watch for the morning It was that morning starre which enlightened the people Luc 21 â—8 that they might all see to come to him early into the temple to heare him Ps 119 147. It was that morning starre againe which enlightened David when hee prevented the dawning of the morning and cryed when hee hoped in his word It was that morning starre which gave light unto Ioshua and the people Ios 6.15 vers 20 when they compassed Iericho on the seaventh day early about the dawning of the day seaven times after which the wall fell downe flatt so that the people went up into the citty every one straite before him and tooke the citty So will I wayte for him so will I prevent the dawning of the morning so will I direct my prayer unto him so will I heare him in his temple and so will I encompasse Iericho about the dawning of the day the citty of Satan the â—trong hold of the Serpent even mine owne â—icked and corrupted heart which hath so â—ong stood out against my God and I will never leave compassing it with my teares and my sighes and my pensive and sorrowfull thoughts untill the wall fall downe untill the stonie rampard thereof yeeld unto the commandements of my Lord and my maker But on the contrarie certainly that morning starre
and rent my heart and amend my life Ioël 2.13 and faithfully rely upon the passion of my Redeemer I may then assure my selfe that hee will correct mee with judgment Ier 10 24. and not in his anger I know that dye I must but in him I earnestly desire to dye When I was in health I thought not of mortalitie and therfore now I am in sicknesse I can skarce so much as hope for immortalitie But I will beseech him to spare mee a litle that I may repent Ps 39.13 before I goe hence and be noe more seene I faine would live not that I might adde to my sinnes but that I might be sorrie for my sinnes I would faine continue here a litle longer that so I might make my peace the surer Long I have continued in wickednesse ô my God spare mee a litle time to spend in contrition If I may enjoy my life but for a litle longer space I will resolve by the grace of my God to dedicate it wholly to the service of him and that I may in some measure make up my repentance before my departure I will beseech him if it may stand with his immutable decree to lend mee a litle more time wherein by his grace I may labour my reconciliation with him My time of death indeede seemeth to draw nigh and yet I doe not consider or at least I have not considered that all this time which I have lived I have beene truely dead Surely thus I have beene for so saith King Solomon Prov. 21.16 The man that wandereth out of the way of understanding shall remaine in the congregation of the dead Thus have I beene dead even in trespasses and sinnes justly therfore now my life doeth hasten away Eph 2.1 and my death approacheth I am now layed upon my bed of sorrow Not as the un-chast Amnon was 2. Sam. 13.5 who lingered after an un-cleane enjoying of his sister Tamar onely counterfeiting a sicknesse Nor like the coveteous Ahab 1. King 21.4 who vexed himselfe because Naboth had denyed to sell him his vine-yard 2. Sam. 4.7 Nor like Ishbosheth ready to be slaine by a Rechab and a Baanah unlesse my sinnes and my sicknesse the effect of my sinnes be that Rechab and that Baanah But languishing I lye allmost despairing of recoverie by reason of the weakenesse of my neere consumed body and spirits through the sharpnesse of my disease Is 14.11 My pompe is even brought downe to the grave and the noise of my violls the worme is spread under mee and the wormes are ready to cover mee But let mee say with holy Iob Iob 10 20. Are not my dayes few Cease then ô my God and let mee alone that I may take comfort a litle vers 21 Before I goe whence I shall not returne even to the land of darknesse and the shadow of death A land of darknesse vers 22 as darknesse it selfe and the shadow of death without any order and where the light is as darknesse There is noe worke nor device Eccl. 9.10 Ps 6.5 knowledg nor wisedome in the grave whither I am goeing In death there is noe remembrance of thee ô my God in the grave who shall give thee thank 's Ps 115.17 Is 38.18 The dead praise not thee ô Lord neither any that goe downeinto silence The grave cannot praise thee death cannot celebrate thee they that goe downe into the pit cannot hope for thy trueth vers 19 The living onely the living hee shall praise thee the father to the children shall make knowne thy trueth Thou thy selfe hast professed that thou art not a God of the dead Matt 22.32 Ps 88.10 vers 11 but of the living wilt thou then shew wonders to the dead Shall the dead arise and praife thee Shall thy loving kindnesse be declared in the grave Or thy faithfullnesse in destruction vers 12 Shall thy wonders be knowne in the darke And thy righteousnesse in the land of forgetfullnesse Consider then Ps 13.3 Ps 69.15 and heare mee ô Lord my God lighten mine eyes that I sleepe not in death Let not the water-flood over-flow mee neither let the deepe swallow mee up and let not the pit shut her mouth upon mee Heare mee ô Lord vers 16 for thy loving kindnesse is good turne unto mee according to the multitude of thy tender mercies 1. Sam 2.6 Thou art hee who doest both kill and make alive who bringest downe to the grave 2. King 4.20 bringest up againe When the Shunamite's child had sate on his mother's knees untill noone vers 21 it then departed but shee went up and layed him on the bed of the man of God vers 32 and shut the doore upon him and went out And when Elisha was come into the house behold the child was dead and laid upon his bed vers 33 hee went in therfore and shut the doore upon them twaine and prayed unto thee my greate and powerfull God vers 35 And the child neezed seaven times and the child opened his eyes Mat 9.18 When the ruler of the Synagogue worshipped my Saviour and sayd My daughter is even now dead but come and lay thine hand upon her and shee shall live vers 25 Then hee went in and tooke her by the hand and the mayd arose O my God to thee I submit my selfe doe with mee as thou pleasest In thy power it is to spare mee for a while It will not be harder for thee to restore mee to health then it was to restore the dead unto life Faine I would live longer that I may repent more Lord if it be thy pleasure adde yet some more dayes unto my life restore mee to health and make mee praise thee for thy mercies Longer I would not live unlesse thou shalt be pleased with my life to renew mine obedience and yet dye I would not unlesse thou shalt first be pleased to give mee a sense of my sinnes and a sorrow upon that sense and a comfortable and contenting joy upon that sorrow Thou art the potter and I am the clay allready thou hast made mee and it is now in thy power either to breake mee into sheards or to preserve mee whole I who have cryed so much in the extreamitie of mine anguish doe now beseech thee with my teares to spare mee Mat. 8.8 O speake the word onely and thy servant shall be healed But yet howsoëver I submit to thine owne good pleasure Lord if it may be thy will let the skill of my Phisitians and the power of my medicines and whatsoëver shall be administred unto mee take a blessing from thee if thou shalt restore mee againe to thee and to thy service will I devote my life My time shall be thine my dayes thine my thoughts my words and mine actions thine So shall thy mercy be magnified and thy praise I will be for ever singing and will
speaketh better things then that of Abel Rev. 2.10 1. Cor 3.21 vers 22 vers 23 I know that if I am faithfull unto death hee will give unto mee a crowne of life I know that all things are ours so long as wee are his whether the world or life or death or things present or things to come all are ours and wee are Christ's Christ is God's Why the doe I crie out upon my paines Is any paine which I can suffer either so much as I deserve by offending my Iesus or comparable to his torments which hee suffered for mee Flesh thou hast disturbed mee all my life with thy sweete and sugered baites hast allured mee to sinne but I will drowne thee therfore in my teares Thou art allready drawen low by my sicknesse and yet because this punishment is not enough thou who wert kept from staines with curious though simple art shalt now be tumbled into the dirt from whence thou camest For the beds of downe on which thou hast stretched thy selfe thou shalt lye downe in the hard and stonie earth for the greate and spatious chamber◠which thou didst pride thy selfe in thou shalt be confined to the skantnesse narrownesse of a coffin for the curious hangings which adorned thy roomes were the costly adventures and labours of forreiners thou shalt be closely wrapped bound in thy grave-clothes and for the gallant societie which thou so cheerefully delightedst in thou shalt have the companie of nothing but wormes yea and such wormes too as thou didst loath in thy seeming prosperitie shall be at once both thine associates thy greedie devourers World thou art an imposter hast treacherously deluded mee with hopes of vanitie but now I find that thy braverie is but follie thy riches but fumes smoakes that vanish thy friendship but hatred thy pride but madnesse thy beautie but uglinesse and all thy temtations are but leaders to destruction I hate thee therfore thou vaine world and leave thee behind mee as contemning the societie of trifles so un worthy and though for a time thou mayst foole the un wise and bewitch them with the false glasses of thy seeming glory yet know thou that the time shall come when thou shalt consume in thy flames and shalt burne in a heape at the day of revenge And as for you ô yee black and uglie slaves of perdition yee hellish-criew of infernall fiends goe seeke some other to delude with your suggestions in mee yee have neither share nor hope for neither should your torments be lessened if yee could seduce mee nor shall nor can your madnesse prevaile against thy redeemed soule to increase the number of your schreeches and howlings And now ô my Iesus come come away for I am thine and thou art mine Why stayest thou so long Why delayest thou the time The longer I live I doe but the more offend thee and the more I offend thee the more doe my sorrowes burden mee for these mine offences O would it not be more for thy glory to free mee from corruption that I might sing praises to thy name without any feare of displeasing thee How long Lord how long wilt thou keepe mee from thy tryumphant quire Ps 42.2 My soule is a thirst for thee my heart panteth after thee ô when shall I come and appeare in thy presence ô my God O how truely and eagerly doe I long for death that I may live with thee who art the truth and the life Io 14.6 I know that one day dye I must but my death shall be nothing but a passage unto life for though in Adam all dye yet in thee ô Christ 1. Cor. 15.22 shall all be made a live I cry Lord I cry to thee I cry because thee I have offended to thee onely I cry because thou onely doest heare and wilt helpe to thee onely I cry because thou onely hast redeemed mee to thee ô to thee I cry to hasten to come with speede O God make speede to save mee O Lord make hast to helpe mee Dan. 9.19 Rom 7 24. Ps 22.17 O Lord heare ô Lord forgive ô Lord deliver mee from the body of this death These pale cheekes and these hollow eyes and these staring bones and this sbrivell'd skinne are now mee think's adorned with beautie because they bring mee the glad tidings of the approaches of my Redeemer This bed is hard to what I shall find in the grave these sheetes are course and un-easie to that which I shall be wound in Come ô Christ ô stay noe longer I feare thou art angrie with mee or else ere now I should have seene thy face but if thou art angry Ps 30.5 I am well assured that thy wrath endureth but the twinkling of an eye and in thy presence is life My spirit cryes come and my wearied soule cryes come and my weake limbs cry come Come therfore ô my Redeemer Come Lord Iesus Come quickly exercise 5 5. The resignation of the Soule into the hands of God THe Prophet Ieremiah admonished the house of Israel saying Give glory to the Lord your God before hee cause darknesse and before your feete stumble upon the darke mountaines and while yee looke for light and hee turne it into the shadow of death and make it grosse darknesse That glory I have given and now I doe render to the Lord my God so farre as hee in his goodnesse is pleased to enable mee And now that time is come that happy moment O Well-come blessed hower so long expected so long desired How rebellious hath beene my flesh that it held put so long and now hides it selfe under my dryed skinne and shrink's it selfe up as unwilling to yeeld Away proud dust thou canst have noe hope of a freedome from putrefaction allthough the time shall come when the Lord will glorifie thee That time I know will come indeede yea I know it assuredly Ps 56.9 Iob. 19.25 vers 26 for the Lord is on my side I know that my Redeemer liveth and that hee shall stand at the latter day upon the earth and though after my skinne wormes destroy this body vers 27 yet in my flesh I shall see God whom I shall see for my selfe and mine eyes shall behold and not other though my reines be consumed within mee I have though weakely and imperfectly endeavoured to glorifie my God before this hower approached both in the confesion to him of my grievous sinnes ah those uglie sinnes which I still grieve for am sorry for them and yet not without a certaine confidence and assurance of his mercy Lord I thanke thee for this happy hower Now I find that though the wicked is driven away in his wickednesse Pro 14 32. yet I am filled with hope in my death Wicked alas I was and woe is mee wicked I am if considered in my felfe but in thee ô Iesus I am holy in thy righteousnesse I am righteous therfore
I am strongly assured that shortly even presently Ps 36.9 in thy light in thy Kingdome whereof thou thy selfe art the light Reu 21 23. Eccl. 7.1 I shall see light Now doe I with heavenly comfort assure my selfe that the day of death is better farre better then the day of my birth for I was borne to sinne Ps 23.4 but I dye to reigne Now though I walke through the valley of the shadow of death I can feare noe evill for thou art with mee thy rod and thy staffe thy comfort mee VVhat though I am counted with them that goe downe to the pit Ps 88.4 andam as a man that hath noe strength Iob. 17 1. VVhat though my breath be corrupt though my spirit be spent though my dayes be extinct and though the graves be ready for mee vers 13 VVhat though the grave be mine house and presently I shall make my bed in the darknesse VVhat though corruption vers 16 and the worme shall goe downe to the barrs of the pit and our rest shall be together in the dust VVhat though death be come up into my windowes into mine eyes Ier. 9.21 Ps 107 18. and be entered into the tabernacle of my body VVhat though my soule abhorreth all manner of meate and I draw necre unto the gates of death VVhat though my heart be sore pained within mee Ps 55.4 Ps 44.17 and the terrours of death be fallen upon mee Yet though all this be come upon mee I will not forget thee o my God neither will I deale falsly in thy covenant vers 18 My heart shall not be turned back neither shall my stepps decline from thy way noe vers 19 though thou hast sore broken mee in the place of dragons and doest cover mee with the shadow of death I am goeing now the way of all the earth Ios 23.14 and doe know in my heart and in my soule that not one thing shall faile mee which the Lord my God hath promised to his elect Now am I joyfully goeing to the gates of the grave Is 38.10 I am deprived of the residue of my yeares vers 11 vers 12 I shall behold man noe more with the inhabitants of the earth Mine age is departed and is removed from mee even as a shep-heard's tent But yet Lord Ps 39.7 what is my hope Truely my hope is even in thee I shall speedily depart then shall I joyfully be freed from sinne Mat 26 38. The soule of my Redeemer was exceeding sorrowfull even unto death and all for my sake as well as for others that I might now be joyfull and rejoyce unto life Mee think 's that voyce from heaven which was heard by the Apostle is now sounding in mine eares and saying Reu. 14 13. Blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord from hence forth yea faith the spirit that they may rest from their labours and their workes doe follow them Mee think's I find the words of the Psalmist full of truth and comfort Ps 116.15 that Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints O now mee think's like that blessed martyr Saint Stephen looking up to the heavens I see thâ—… open Act 7.55 Ps 31.5 and the glory of God and my Iesus staâ— ding on the right hand of his father I come Lord I come Into thy hands I commend my spirit for thou hast redeemed mee ô Lord thâ—… God of truth Take mee into thine armes ô God Act. 7.59 Convey mee to thy Kingdome ô Christ Lord Iesus receave my spirit Amen subject 27 The TWENTIE-SEAVENTH SUBJECT Teares in the distressed time of civill warrs The Soliloquie containing a patheticall and grievous lamentation for the present distractions both in the Church Common-wealth by reason of these cruell most bloody warrs THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray SHall a trumpet be blowne in the city and the people not be afraid Amos. 3.6 Saith the Lord by the mouth of his holy Prophet A trumpet Why Lev. 25 9. Is that so dreadfull So terribleâ— I find that a trumpet of Iubilee was appointedâ— be sounded in the day of atonement throughout 〈◊〉 the land of promise when the Israelitâ— should come into it and certainly wheâ— that trumpet sounded the people rejoyced 〈◊〉 were not afraid Yea but the Lord called not to rejoycing and Iubilees when he threatned Israel by the mouth of that Prophe who was among the herdmen of Tekoa Amos. 1.1 The first sound of a trumpet that ever was heard as the Scriptures mention was a cause of trembling Ex. 19.14.15 for the third day after Mosâ— went downe from the Mount unto the people vers 16 in the morning there were thunders anâ— lightnings and a thick clowde upon the mount and the voice of the trumpet exceeding lowd so that all the people that were in the campe trembled Yea they so trembled and were so afraid when they saw the thunderings c. 20.18 and the lightâ— nings and the noise of the trumpet and the mountaine smoaking that they removed and stood a farre off vers 19 and said unto Moses Speake thou with us and wee will heare but let not God speake with us lest wee die This was the first sound of a trumpet that ever was heard and I find that this was a cause of trembling Againe I reade that the trumpet was ordained for the sounding an all arme Num. 10.5 and that o that is it which now sound 's in our eares Nothing but a point of warre nothing but newes of firâ— and fword is heard among us The â—…umpets the trumpets oh they sound they â—…nd a shrill and horrid dinne a fearfull â—…se they make in our eares and our newâ—…ced cities and our new-fortified townes â—…e encompassed as once Iericho was when â—…e trumpets of rams-hornes were blowne by â—…e priests and the people showted Ios 6 8. vers 16 Surely that â—…ay is come upon us which the Lord threatâ—…ed Ierusalem with by the mouth of his Proâ—…het for the mighty man cryeth bitterly Zeph. 1 14. vers 15 the â—…y of wrath is come upon us the day of trouble â—…d distresse the day of wastnesse and desolaâ—…on the day of darknesse and gloominesse the â—ay of cloudes and thick darknesse vers 16 the day of the â—rumpet and all-arme against the fenced cities â—nd against the high towers vers 17 Distresse is come â—pon us that we walke like blind men because we have sinned against the Lord and our blood is â—owred out as dust and our flesh is as the dung Oh that is fallen upon us which was threatâ—…ed to Egypt Our land is watered with blood Eze 32 6. wherein wee doe swimme even to the mounâ—aines and
did not give light to the companie which were in the ship with Saint Paul in the tempest when hee was bound towards Rome for they Act 27 29. fearing lest they should have fallen upon rocks cast fowre ankers out of the sterne and wished for the day True it is that every one in a storme will wish for Christ this morning starre and ready they are to take their astro-labe that so they may observe the height and the distance of him but yet are they apt to leave him in the tempest and to trust to their owne cables and ankers which they cast out at the sternes of their ship never considering the depth of the seas the fowlenesse of the anchorrage Every Christian even the most skillfull mariner is apt to runne a shore upon the world or to fall upon the leadges and rocks of trouble and temptation but who ancoor's his hopes in Christ Who fasteneth the flooke of his anchor in the wounds of the Crucified Lord give mee such a faith in thee that I may not believe in thee waveringly or hope in thee weakely or wish for thee faintly but that I may at all times and upon all occasions put my whole trust and confidence in thee Ps 42.1 and say with David As the Hart panteth after the water-brookes so panteth my soule after thee ô God Surely that morning starre did not give light to churlish Nabal 1. Sam. 25.37 when in the morning after the wine was gone out of him and his wife tould him all that was done his heart dyed within him and hee became as a stone Alasse every Nabel every worldling can be jocound and pleasant while they surfeit upon the vaine pleasures of this transitorie world they can be merrie and drunken very drunken with the be-witching cup and all the while they are such sonnes of Belial vers 17 that a man cannot speake to them But if once either by povertie sicknesse or any other calamitie they are awaked and their Abigails their consciences tell them that the most mighty hath girded his sword upon his thigh Ps 45.3 with glorie and majestie and is resolved to destroy them then like unto Nabal even their very hearts dye within them and are even as stones for want of the comfort and light of his morning starre These are they who in the morning say Deut 28.67 would God it were evening and at even they say Would God it were morning for the feare of their hearts wherewith they feare and for the sight of their eyes which then they see Iob 24.17 for the morning is to them even as the â—shadow of death if one know them they are in the terrours of the shadow of death Therfore will I besiech that bright morning starre Amos. 5.8 that hee will arise in my heart that I may seeke him that maketh the seaven starres and Orion and turneth the shadow of death into the morning and maketh the day darke with night the Lord is his name This is the time Iud 16.2 when the Philistines thought to have killed Samson after they had compassed him in and layd waite for him all night in the gate of the citty of Gaza and were silent all the night Lord if at any time I sleepe if I sleepe in my sinnes which doe thou ever prevent as thou doest forbid it how contented is Satan to let mee rest How silent hee is and will not disturbe mee But hee sitteth in the gate and watcheth and if at any time I be awaked by my God how doe's hee labour to destroy mee presently with suggestions to despaire or presumption This is the time when Moses was commanded by God to cary the two new tables of stone up to the Mount Ex 34.2 for God sayd unto him Be readie in the morning and come up in the morning unto mount Sinai and present thy selfe there to mee in the top of the mount Why may not this in some kind seeme to be spoken by God to mee too For I have one table at least and I feare that it is stone too but it is in his power to make it the fleshly table of my heart 2. Cor. 3.3 O that hee would call mee O that hee would draw mee up unto him to the top of the mount Hos 11.4 with the bands of love and that hee would doe it now this morning like as twice in one morning hee putt Moses in mind of the two tables O that hee would write his law in this table of my heart even with his owne finger that I might not sinne against him This is the time when the Angells hastened Lot to goe out of Sodome Gen. 19 15. It was when the morning arose that they said unto him Arise take thy wife and thy two daughters which are here lest thou he consumed in the iniquitie of the citty The blacknesse of the crimes of those lustfull citisens eclypsed the Sunne yet lest they should hope that their impieties could dazell the eyes of the all-seeing God they had a light from heaven to discover his wrath The sinnes of the people were retrograde to nature and their just punishment proceeded therfore from causes not rendered by the practise of nature The light body of the consuming fire was seene to descend and the sulphurious flames which might have beene conceaved to arise from the troubled bowells of the earth or from the land of darknesse descended in a stormie gust from heaven A mixed fire and stinke conlumed the transgressours yet was not the choaking smell of the burning sulphur so offensive and loathsome as the stench of their wickednesse Thus the fire of their uncleanesse was revenged by the fire of tormenting brimstone and just it was that the messengers of vengeance should discharge their office whom the lewde people would not receave without a lustfull attempt of their fowle desires Their punishment for their crimes began even in their offences for it was noe small severitie to suffer them to continue in their violation of nature Yet here it stayed not for they lost their sight because they saw not their faults and at even they wearied themselves to find the dore of that righteous man vers 11 being stricken with blindnesse by those ministers of revenge vers 23 This darke evening was yet but a presage of a gloomie morning for the vengence fell when the Sun arose and those horrid flashes of a blew and dazeling light served onely to lend them a sight of their scorched neighbours and so to increase and heighten their torments Assuredly if I well consider it I am not unlike to that Lot who was saved for with the Sodomites I live I am neighboured by the wicked O but am I just with Lot and with him 2. Pet. 2 7. am I vexed with their uncleane their filthie conversation O that I might so resemble Lot that I could avoyde the corruption of those whose society
provoked him to wrath But what though in Eden hee was not heard but â—n the coole of the day Gen 18.1 I am sure that hee appeared to Abraham in the heate of the day aâ—â—hee sate in the tent doore in the plaines of Mamâ—re And so hee doeth to mee now too inwardly by his Spirit if I find his grace working in my soule a desire of his glorie I will therfore besiech him now while hee is with mee Ps 42.8 Ps 22.2 to command his loving kindnesse in this day time to visit mee that so I may not justly complaine with David O my God I cry in the day time and thou hearest not but rather that I may heare a Phinehas saying unto mee as once hee did to the children of Reuben Gad and Manasseh This day wee perceave Ios 22.31 that the Lord is among us Alasse poore Iacob how did hee endure the sweate and the burning of this time of the day Gen 31.40 In the day the drought consumed him and the frost in the night and his sleepe departed from him Assuredly in those fourteene yeeres which hee spent in the service of Laban for his two wives and in those sixe yeeres which hee served for the flocks and the cattell hee could not choose but loose a whole river of sweate that dropped from his face Lord how should every droppe of sweate that fall's from my browes put mee in mind of the fall of Adam which produced this punishment Gen 3.19 Yea how should my teares too out-vye my sweate when I consider the number of my fowle transgressions They oh they have so increased within mee that they enforce the sweate to fly to my face and in this heate of the day to tell mee of a punishment in the flames of the damned But there was once a day of deliverance of the Israelites from the Egyptian bondage Ex 13.3 and Moses commanded the people saying Remember this day And what day of my life hath not beene to mee a day of deliverance So many diseases and accidents assayle the body so many discontents the mind so many casualties and chances the estate yea and which is worst of all so many sinnes the soule that if I should attempt but once to number them I could not easily determine where to beginne Lord make mee this day remember thy deliverances in a gratefull manner and magnifie thee for thy mercies There will bee a day too a day of death but when it shall come God onely knoweth This for ought I know may prove the day Ould Ifaak tould his sonne Esau saying Gen 27.2 Behould now I am ould I know not the day of my death Neither indeede doe I know mine What know I to the contrarie but that anone at the table I may entertaine my death in a dish or a cup Lord make mee allways provided for thee and then at all times thou art well-come to mee But how shall I be sure to have my petition graunted and that God will afford mee such mercy as to save mee I reade of a day that was threatned to the Iewes even when the Chaldaeans should become their conquerours This the Lord fore-tould unto them when hee sayd Ioel 2.1 Blow yee the trumpet in Sion and sound an all-arme in my holy mountaine Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble for the day of the Lord cometh for it is nigh at hand A day of darknesse vers 2. and of gloominesse a day of clowdes and of thick darknesse as the morning spread upon the mountaines Their death was to approach by the sword of their enemies and their miseries to increase by the furie of their tormentours My death may be neerer hastening unto mee then was the destruction of the Iewes at the time of the prophesie and in what manner it shall come I cannot assure my selfe God is not confined to time or meanes otherwise then hee hath decreed himselfe This very day may happen to be mine and another day may be appointed for another Yea and my day too may prove a day of horrour for wicked I am and I reade what is spoken by the mouth of Iob Iob 21.30 The wicked is reserved to the day of destruction they shall be brought forth to the day of wrath I poore I am one of the wicked and have deserved the greatest severest judgments from the hand of the revenger O if this day should prove so terrible insteede of pampering my body with delightfull foode I might cry out with the Prophet Cursed be the day wherein I was borne Ior 20.14 let not the day wherein my mother bare mee be blessed But I have a better confidence in the mercies of my Redeemer Yet I cannot hope for mercy from him if I doe not expresse some mercy to my selfe The chiefest act of mercy to my selfe consisteth in a serious afflicting and tormenting of my selfe for my sinnes which would ruine mee With my teares I must therfore wash away my sinnes I must purge them with my teares I must cure the sinnes of mine eyes with the teares of mine eyes And yet since my teares are not free from pollution even those must be purified and made effectuall by the blood of the Lamb. The stomack is commonly prepared for meate by the blood of the grape Therfore before I will goe to my foode I will prepare my selfe with a glasse of wine but that wine shall be high and excellent it shall be the wine of Angells It shall have the savour of life in it it shall have the race of mercy in it the sweetenesse of reconciliation the heate of grace This wine shall be my teares a leane sower eager wine of it selfe but it shall be sugered by the hand of my Redeemer it shall be deepe drawne and well dashed with the blood of the innocent This is such as the Angells delight in This wine shall prove an excellent restorative it shall be even like blood yea it shall be blood it selfe even the blood of my drooping my wounded and my deiected soule This will exceede all the Frontiniak or the Greeke or the Palerma wines for the grapes thereof doe not grow upon the smooth and twisting branches of common vines but they grow like the rose upon a thornie bough and yeeld whole clusters of joy and content This wine hath such an in-bred vertue in it that it giveth courage to the drinker and that good effect I seriously hope it shall worke in mee For I must fight though I am but a woman I must fight and warre and combate with mine enemies with my corruptions Ios 10.13 I trust that hee who made the Sun stand still in the middest of heaven that it hasted not to goe downe about a whole day when the five Kings fought against Gibeon and all this onely at the prayer of Ioshua even hee will assist mee in this holy warre that I may destroy the Kings the greatest the
1. King 14.18 Had not my husband beene King yet how should I forbeare the expence of a teare when death depriveth mee of the name of a wife Had hee not beene godly then the words of the Psalmist might peradventure have beene verified even of him Ps 27.15 His widow shall not weepe But ô hee was full of love and hee was truely religious for mine owne losse therfore must I freely weepe because my loving my religious husband is taken from mee Naomi requited the love of her daughters in law expressed to their dead husbands with a fervent prayer saying Ruth 1.8 The Lord deale kindly with you as yee have dealt with the dead and with mee vers 9. The Lord graunt that yee may find rest each of you in the house of her husband When the wife of Ezekiel was taken from him I doubt not but hee loved her so well that hee would have bemoaned her departure had not the Lord expressely charged him the contrarie Eze 24 16. But the Lord said unto him Sonne of man behold I take away from thee the desire of thine eyes with a stroake yet neither shalt thou mourne nor weepe neither shall thy teares runne downe Forbeare to cry vers 17 make noe mourning for the dead bind the tire of thine head upon thee and put on thy shooes upon thy feete and cover not thy lipps Surely his teares were not forbidden as if it were un-lawfull to lament the dead Noe it was onely because the Lord by that figne would shew that the calamitie of the Iewes should be beyond that sorrow which enforceth a weeping But what was Ezekiel's losse in comparison of mine Hee was a man and a Prophet set over his wife to be her instructer so was mine set over mee allso but there the scholler onely departed the wife here the very Oracle is ceased my husband is gone While hee was alive my knowledg was increased for if I would have learned any thing 1. Cor 14.15 1. Pet 3 7. I could aske him at home Hee dwelt with mee according to knowledg giving honour unto mee as to the weaker vessell and as being heires together of the grace of life Eph. 5.28 1. Tim. 5.8 so that our prayers were not hindered Hee loved mee even as his owne body hee provided both for mee and mine But now alas I may live in ignorance dis-respected and un provided for none will comfort mee none will helpe mee as did my husband that 's gone Act. 5.4 Though wicked Saphira had joyned with Ananias her husband in lying unto God concerning the sale of their possession vers 5. and her husband at the words of Saint Peter fell downe and gave up the ghost and was caried out by the young men vers 6. and buried yet shee lived not long enough either to bewayle his death or to consider of her losse Shee continued a widow but about three howers space vers 7. vers 10 and then fell downe at the Apostles feete and yeelded up the ghost Shee quickly followed her husband in death who joyned in the wickednesse with him in his life Shee hastened to the grave of her departed consort as if love had forbad her to survive her husband Yet it was not love but justice which made them lye together in the silent grave since they joyned together in a lye in their lives This alas was not a testimonie of her love so quickly to follow her husband to the land of darknesse Mee think's that I could be well contented to have dyed with my husband and to be layed in the grave by his frozen body but neither would I have sinne to be the cause nor judgment the effect Why then doe I so much lament his departure whose death was full of an assurance of life and whose hope was full of immortalitie Had Saphira survived her deceased husband but so long as to have beene sensible of the manner of his death it may be imagined that shee would have sighed her selfe to the grave and even griefe alone would have joyned them in the vault of darknesse and silence But God delayed not the punishment of her who obstinately persisted in the crime of her husband Here is yet some comfort for mee in my deepe calamitie that neither my husband was guilty of the sinne of Ananias nor yet did his death come so unexpected Why then should I grieve so much for the departure of him who is gone from hence to eternall rest Hee dyed in the Lord Reu 14 13. and I cannot therfore doubt but hee is assuredly blessed Hee resteth from his labours and his workes doe follow him Why then doe I shed such an aboundance of teares as if I either distrusted his happinesse or envyed his felicity My cause is not so greate if I rightly weigh it as to cause these floods to arise in mine eyes When I thinke upon him I have reason to rejoyce both because hee is freed as well from the tyrannie of sinne as from the miserie it produceth and allso because hee is at rest in my God If I consider my selfe allso mine affliction is not so greate nor my teares so just as I doe imagine for they will prove rather an argument of my distrust in God then of my love to my husband if I give them the freedome to flow beyond moderation Hee who lent mee him can send mee another yea such a one as may deserve as well and to whom my love may be as fervent If I have lost mine estate yet I have not lost my protectour unlesse I forsake him in my distrust If I complaine for want of the joy of societie even my very thoughts so they be religions will delight mee with their companie If I want an instructer my God will be my guide If I want a comforter my God will wipe these teares from mine eyes If I want either foode or sustenance for my body Prov 15.15 yet a good conscience will prove a continuall feast My losse is not so greate as ever was sustained if I compare it with those which others have soffered Naömie's affliction was greater then mine Ruth 1 3. when not onely her husband Elimelech but allso her two sonnes Mahlon and Chilion dyed and the woman was left of her two sonnes her husband at once 1. Sam. 4.11 It was worse by farre with the wife of Phinehar then it is with mee for her husband and his brother were both slaine in one day by the Amalekites yea and that in judgment too c 3.13 even because they made themselves vile and their father restrained them not When the newes came to her that the Arke of God was taken by the un-circumcised c 4.13 that ould Eli her father in law hearing the newes that the Arke was taken and that his sonnes were slaine vers 18 fell from the seate back-ward by the side of the gate and brake his neck and
set it forth from day to day Ps 96.2 part 2 The Second part of the Soliloquie wherein is set forth the certaintie of Death A Braham is dead the Prophets are dead and my Saviour Christ sayd Io 8.52 If a man keepe my sayings hee shall never tast of death At this the Iewes were very much stumbled and mee think 's they had some collour for their contention about it For if Abraham were dead Rom. 4 11. Iam 2.23 Gen 22 18. Lu 1.70 who was the father of the faithfull who was the friend of God hee in whose seede all the nations of the earth were promised a blessing because hee obeyed the voyce of the Lord And if the Prophets were allso dead those holy Prophets which have beene since the world began and by whom the Lord did reveale his pleasure unto the people If all these were dead well might the Iewes wonder when our Saviour said If a man keepe my saying hee shall never tast of death Well indeede they might wonder for ignorance is the cause of all our merveiles Did wee but know a certaine reason for every event wee should never wonder at that which happeneth but wee should magnifie the first greatest cause which is God The Iewes wondered because they were ignorant and supposed that our Saviour had spoken of a temporall death whereas hee meant that which is eternall True it is that the temporall death is an effect and fruit of the first sinne but eternall death is the punishment of impenitencie and infidelitie for those who both can and truely doe repent neither can nor shall be lyable to an eternall death Nay dye they cannot in any kind for this which wee call a death shall be to them but a deliverance and that death which is a perpetuall living death in the land of darknesse they shall be certainly freed from by the blood of the Sonne of God Yet this passage this sweete change in the godly and allso this gate which openeth to the ungodly the way to eternall woe the Scripture doeth commonly tearme a death this death cannot possibly be avoyded by the children of Adam Heb. 9.27 for it is appointed unto men once to dye 'T is true 't is true indeede I am ready to find it verefied in my selfe for the harbingers of this death have taken up my body where it intendeth to lodg The weakenesse of my limbs and the faintnesse of my spirits and the shortnesse of my breath and the lownesse of my voyce and the palenesse of my cheekes and the hollownesse of mine eyes all these doe but assure mee of the approaches of this death But is there noe resistance Is there noe reversing of the decree Noe repealing of the statute Alas noe none at all This body which hath beene pampered with the delicacie of meates must now be slaughtered and make a feast for the wormes These bones which have layen upon the beds of ease must become as tables for the loathsome vermine And this skinne this prowde skinne which hath stollen so much time to imploy in the suppling and colouring and smoothing and covering of it must serve like a cloath spread on these tables whereon must be presented this collation for the wormes Short is my life fleeting are my dayes and my winged minuits fly with such speede that I caâ— hardly count them so fast as they consume Wheâ— I enjoyed the most sound and beloved health even then the shortnesse of my life was discovered in my breath for I was intrusted onely with a litle ayer which neither was in my power long to keepe nor long without it could I possiblie continue I was so false in my promises which I made unto my God that hee would not trust mee long with the keepng but of a litle of that element I have allways lâ—ved at the brinke of death and yet never seriously enough thought of that which now is ready to approach I never thought indeede of the hower of my death by a due preparation to entertaine it when it should come Nay I fondly imagined that it must of necessitie keepe the roade of diseases sicknesse whereas it might have hastened by wayes un-expected When I was healthfull I grew so proude that I imagined certainly it either could not or durst not assayle my body and yet when I was afflicted with the smallest paine then againe I was so cowardly dejected that I was afraid it hastened by each part and member When I smarted I was taken off from my pride but the cure of that sinne was an immoderate and a slavish feare But now I am well assured that neither strength nor youth nor beauty nor physick nor any thing else can secure our bodies from returning to the earth True it is that the dead know not any thing Eccl 6.5 neither have they any more a reward for the memorie of them is forgotten but the living know that they shall dye c 8.8 There is noe man that hath power over the spirit to reteine the spirit neither hath hee power in the day of death Wherfore then have 〈◊〉 so long lived in ignorance or forgetfullnesse of mine end If I had remembred it I would have fitted and prepared mine accounts against the time it should come If I had knowne it I would have laboured to have made the judge my friend But ô I forgot it for I increased my sinnes and thought not of the debt I was ignorant too and knew not the terribloesse of the Iudg. Now mee think's these cold and clammie sweats doe chiefely arise from my chiding conscience and from the convulsions which there I suffer through the guilt of my sinnes I never was so carelesse or ignorant of death as I now am certaine of it yet afraid to dye Eccl 12.7 Iob. 30.23 Now I am sensible that my dust shall returne to the earth as it was I know that the Lord will bring mee to death to the house appointed for all the living Die say I Yes But must I dye Yes But when That I know not many dayes or howers I cannot expect to live who am allready pined into the leanenesse of an Anatomie But where must I dye That I know not neither even in this bed it is most likely where I now lye languishing in the torments of my disease But how or by what meanes must I dye Nor can I tell that allthough this sicknesse seemeth to be dispatched hither for this very purpose But if it be so sure that dye I must is it likewise as sure to what place I shall goe O this question is the common troubler of the dying There are but two havens where soules can arrive the one is the holy land the new Ierusalem the haven of eternall happinesse the other is a land too but it is a land of darknesse a land of smoakes and stinkes a place of eternall horrour To the former the godly are wafted by a convoy of