Selected quad for the lemma: death_n
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A39226
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A further account of the progress of the Gospel amongst the Indians in New England: being a relation of the confessions made by several Indians (in the presence of the elders and members of several churches) in order to their admission into church-fellowship. Sent over to the corporation for propagating the Gospel of Jesus Christ amongst the Indians in New England at London, by Mr John Elliot one of the laborers in the word amonsgt them.
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Eliot, John, 1604-1690.
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1660
(1660)
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Wing E511; ESTC R214794
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48,601
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89
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word Mat. 12. The unclean spirit being cast out of a man he walketh about seeking rest and findeth none then hee returneth and bringeth 7 other spirits with him worse then himself and the end of that man is worse then his beginning When I heard this my heart feared I thought now I repent of my many sins for verily I am a great sinner I have offended I am 7 times worse then before I prayed then I repented Again I heard that Word He that penitently believeth shall be saved and then my heart did desire to repent and believe then I thought that men will not forgive me and therefore it is not good to abide in this place but I remembred that I had learned to read the Word and if I should forsake my friends I should lose the Word of God Then I heard that Word Repent for the Kingdome of Heaven is at hand my heart said ô let it be so and then my heart rested but yet quickly it was unquiet again Then I did strongly desire to repent of my sinnes I heard that Word that God Sowed good seed but evill seed was sowen by the Enemy and such were in my heart and as in my field there were many roots and weeds which spoyled the corne and I plucked them up and cast them out my heart said verily just so is my heart the Word is but a little in my heart and there be many ill roots in me and therefore God may justly cast me out from among his people because of my many sinnes Then my heart said I desire to pray to God as long as I live and now I forsake my sins who have been a great sinner Now I beg of Christ O give me thy spirit that I may confess my sins before God and not only before men again I remember that I cannot pardon or help my self but only Christ must help me Again I heard that Word All manner of sin shall be forgiven to a man but the sin against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven in this world nor in the world to come Then my heart feared because many and great were my sins since I prayed to God and I cried to God for mercy and pardon and then I thought I will pray to God as long as I live But verily I am a sinner for I am guilty not only of Adams sin but of my own sins also and they are many I remember that in Catechisme I learn that God made a Covenant of works with Adam Do the Commands and thou shalt live and thy seed also but if thou sin thou shalt die and thy seed also therefore by that I know I am a sinner and have deserved to die Then I crie to God O God have mercy upon me and pardon me Again I heard of the mercy of God but I am forgetfull and cannot remember Gods mercies to me God made a Covenant with Abraham and said I will be thy God and the God of thy seed after thee then my heart said O let it be so to me O Lord And now Abraham is in heaven who believed and kept Gods Covenant So I if I believe and keep Gods Covenant God will have mercy on me I remembred the Covenant of Circumcision to him and all his family and such a Covenant I desire for me and mine Again I heard Mat. 3. In those daies Iohn baptized in Iordan saying Repent for the Kingdome of God is at hand When I heard this my heart said the same is now with us not Abrahams signe but baptisme and therefore I desire to repent and Confess before God and before the Church and I desire not only to confess but to have repentance and faith that I may have grace mercy and pardon and such repentance as workes obedience Again the same Word saith vers. 6. They were baptized confessing their sins So I desire to do I do confess before God and desire to cast off and forsake my sins and to go to Christ The promise of pardon is to them that penitently believe and rest on Christ In the same Baptism of Iohn he said I baptize you with water but he that cometh after me is mightier then I he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and fire Now this Baptism I desire and not to receive the signe in vain I desire to purge out evill thoughts and therefore I confess these sins before God that they may be purged and I desire the spirit of God may dwell in me for ever to turn me to Christ I cannot of my self do any of these things but only Christ Jesus can by his spirit in me Again I heard another word As the Eagles are about a carkass so believers come to Christ then my heart said So be it Oh Lord when I receive the Covenant of God I am like the Eagles when I come to Christ I desire not to come in vain but if I feed not I shall die my soul will die Then I greatly begged that I might feed my soul on Christ and Oh Christ send thy spirit into my heart that I may not only know but do the Word of God Again Christ near his death took bread and blest it and broke it and gave it to his disciples and said Take yee eat yee this is my Body which was broken for you And so also he did the Cup and said Drink yee of it this is the Cup of my blood in the New Testament which is shed for the remission of sins Now this believers in Christ must do not only to eat Bread and to take the Sign but soul food therefore Christ sending his spirit and helping me I desire to receive the Sign not in vain but to help my faith When I had read this Confession in the Assembly we called upon the witnesses as before wee did whose answer was to the like purpose as before Wutasakompauin He was next called forth who thus spake HElp me Oh Jesus Christ to confess before the Lord Oh I am full of sin because Adams sin made mine and so was a sinner in my mothers womb When I was a youth I found many sins and after I was grown up I did the same alwaies all the daies of my life I lived in sin After the English came I went to their houses they would teach me about God but I hated it and went out I did not love such teaching Afterward the Minister taught and at first Waban perswaded me to pray and taught us I did not at first like it yet afterward I did Four years the Minister came to Noonantam I came but I only came I lost all he taught After I considered one word the Minister said That God sent him to teach us then I thought surely there is a God therefore I must believe and pray a little I believed but when I heard I did only outwardly hear After my wife and children died and then I almost cast off praying I had another wife and she died also
speak it I confesse that in my mothers belly I was defiled in sin my father and mother prayed to many gods and I heard them when they did so and I did so too because my parents did so and in my childhood afore I could act sin I did delight in it as dancing and Pawwaug and when they did so they prayed to many gods as Beasts Birds Earth Sea Trees c. After I was born I did all such things I loved lust when I was a youth though I did act these lusts but a little But when I had a little begun my heart did very much desire more to do such sins I saw the English keep Sabbath I cared not but played and catch't birds or any thing yet when I saw Englishmen I ran away on the Sabbath day because they should not see mee As yet I knew not of great sins as Murder Adultery then some Indians said we must pray to God When I was in English houses I saw them pray and I thought it a vain work They said there was but one God I thought nay there be many Gods When Indians said Wee will pray my heart said No I will not so long as I live Yet I heard more and more of praying to God and that my brothers prayed to God but my heart said Praying to God is vain After I heard Waban did pray and my brothers Wompoâ—as and Toteswoâ—mp yet my heart said No I am well enough I have not so sinned as other men I am no Murderer Adulterer c. Then I ran away yet I was not much troubled because my brothers prayed A little after I came and my brother said to mee I pray you pray to God I answered him not but my heart said No yet I was troubled because I heard my brothers I thought if any should kill my brothers I would kill him if any Warrs were I would go with my brothers only I thought of my love to my brothers and then that if my brother make Warr I would go with him to kill men Now he prayes shall not I go with my brothâ—â—â—◠〈◊〉 my brothers love me and they both pray to God 〈◊〉 should not I They prayed morning and 〈…〉 they eat and on Sabbath dayes then I thought I would do so but it was not for love of God or fear of God but because I loved my brothers Again when I came to Noonantam I heard the Minister preach and I desired to hear what he 〈…〉 taught but I understood not 〈…〉 because I understood stood 〈…〉 to hear I heard some youths 〈…〉 Roxbury My brother said to me Go you because you may learn Smithery For that reason I did go but desired not to learn to pray all these things were vain When we came to Roxbury I said I desired to learn Smithery But my Master said I may not teach him my Trade lest Indians learn to make Locks and Guns Then I would not dwell with him and thought to cast off praying and thought I would forsake my brothers My brother perswaded mee to dwell one year there but I would not yet at last I did dwell there one year and went to meeting but in vain for I understood not one word After that year I returned to Noonantam and then I heard that God made all the world but yet I did not pray to God one jot but still sinned and especially the sin of Lust I made light of any sin I heard and understood the Commands of God Thou shalt not murder commit adultery steal bear false witness covet and that made me afraid to commit sin afore man lest I should be punished or put to death but I feared not God After I heard the Minister ask Who made you A. God and Who redeemed you A. Christ and Who must sanctifie you The holy Ghost and that God made Heaven Earth Sea c. then I a little considered of God who made all this world and then I was afraid I saw that no man could make these things and that therefore we must pray to God Then my heart said Assuredly it is so God made all things and made mee and I must pray to him After this my brothers were sick and I prayed God Oh that they may live and then I heard that now God tryeth mee whether I will pray or no I confesse I have done many sins especially lust though I had not been a Murderer or the like But then my brothers and kindred dyed then my heart said Sure it 's a vain thing to pray to God for I prayed yet my friends dyeâ— therefore I will run wilde and did cast off praying I did not pray morning and night and at meat only on the Sabbath day I came to meeting but I cared not for hearing nor did I believe any thing I heard but I still lived in sin and my heart said I will run away for here we are hindred from sin in other places I may freely sin Then my brothers which lived were troubled for mee Then I said I will abide with my brothers because I love them but not because I would pray Then that Winter God broke my head I knew but little I was almost dead Then my heart said Now I know God is angry with mee for my sins and hath therefore smote mee then I prayed hard when I was almost dead I remembred my sins much and considered them much I remembred that God made all the world and therefore assuredly there is a God I heard that God made Adam and made him in his own image Gen. 1. and assuredly none but God could make all the world heaven earth sea c. then I did believe that God did make the world Again I confesse I saw that I had offended against God and sinn'd against him and that I had the root of sin in me and that I had deserved all miseries and death and hell I heard that God made a Covenant with Adam and forbad him to eat of the Tree in the midst of the Garden and yet he did eat and therefore God was angry with man and I was born in sin and therefore God was angry with me and because I have sometime forsaken God and run wilde therefore I now know my sin and my offence against God I desire no more to cast off God and prayer for now I know my sins and that I have deserved misery therefore now I desired to pray to God as long as I live I desired pardon of my sins and I thought it may be God will pardon mee and my heart prayed to God Oh God if thou give mee life again I will assuredly believe and obey and now I know my sins by the sin of Adam but when I had thus done quickly my heart would be vain again After my wound when I came to my self and awaked I saw my sin and promised God to pray unto him when I saw the mercy of God was so great unto mee I heard that word