the Lord shall forgive her because her Father disallowed her Now if it be thus in a Father's power to disanul his Daughters rash Vow which she made to God how much more may we reckon it in his Power to disanul her rash and indiscreet promise made to Man of bestowing her self without her Parents allowance Can there be any thing more unjust more unkind more unthankful and more unnatural than for Children who have been brought up nourished and cherished by their Parents for whom all their care and pains have been bestowed to dispose of themselves in the most important affair of their lives without their knowledge or against their Will What a grief and trouble of heart must this needs be to their poor Parents As we see it was to Isaac and Rebekah Gen. 26.34 35. And Esau was forty years old when he took to Wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite and Bashemath the Daughter of Elon the Hittite which were a grief of mind to Isaac and to Rebekah As to such undutiful Children who do thus bestow themselves against their Parents will and consent it is very remarkable that they seldom live happily and comfortably they bring upon themselves very often a great deal of sorrow and trouble lasting misery and woe They live to eat the fruit of their foolish doings and wish when it is to little purpose that they had never done so mad and wicked a thing 5. Duty to submit to their Parents Reproofs and Chastenings Fifthly They are meekly and patiently to submit to their Reproofs to their Chastenings and Corrections It is a Power that God hath given Parents over their Children to correct and chasten them for their Faults This is necessary for Childrens good and therefore when Parents do correct them they ought not to be angry with them or grumble at their severity which they use for reforming of them much less are they to resist and rebel against them Heb. 12.9 We have had Fathers of our flesh which corrected us and we gave them reverence Yea tho' Parents sometimes exceed the bounds of prudence and discretion in chastising their Children tho' they indulge a little to their own Passion yet Children are bound patiently to bear and suffer their Corrections They are not to fly out into indecent and irreverent words and actions but with all the submission and respect that 's possible ought to endeavour to mitigate the wrath and passion of their angry Parents and afterwards they are to study all that ever they can to prevent their anger and displeasure by a most humble reverend and dutiful carriage How much may this serve to reprove those Against Rebellious Children who are so far from taking in good part their Parents correcting and chastening of them that they refuse to submit thereto They resist them and rebel against them Can there be any thing more unnatural and monstrous than to see those who owe their being to their Parents who have been brought up by them who have met with so many testimonies of a tender care and of great kindness to rise up against them to fly into the faces of those who are the Authors of their being to lift up their hand against them This is a sin of so crying a nature that he who was guilty thereof was to be put to death by the Law of Moses Exod. 21.15 He that smiteth his Father or his Mother shall be surely put to death How greatly does it aggravate this sin when Children have met with no severe nor unmerciful dealing from their Parents But have been treated by them with all that gentleness and kindness that was possible And yet for such Children to rise up against their Parents is a Crime of so black a nature that it is no wonder if the hand of God appear against them for it in a very signal manner as it did in the case of Absalom for whom his Father David had so great a fondness This unthankful and unnatural Son rose up against him and endeavoured by force and violence to pull him from the Throne and to usurp the Royal Dignity See how the hand of God appeared against him 2 Sam. 18.9 And Absalom met the Servants of David and Absalom rode upon a Mule and the Mule went under the thick Boughs of a great Oak and his Head caught hold of the Oak and he was taken up between the Heaven and the Earth and the Mule that was under him went away And ver 14. it is said that Joab took three darts in his hand and thrust them through the heart of Absalom while he was yet alive in the midst of the Oak And ver 15. Ten young Men that bare Joab's Armour compassed about and smote Absalom and slew him And ver 17. They took Absalom and cast him into a great Pit in the Wood and laid a very great heap of stones upon him This was done as a lasting Monument of Absalom's sin and shame and of God's righteous Judgment upon him 6. Duty to love their Parents and how they are to express their Love Sixthly Children ought to love their Parents and to express it by all those Offices which are in their Power to do for them by serving them readily by doing every thing that may make them well pleased by sympathizing with them in all their troubles by assisting them and doing all they can to make their Lives joyful and comfortable by shunning every thing that may grieve them or make them uneasie They ought to refuse no labour nor pains to do them service especially when they are sick and weak oppressed with the Burden of Old Age or poor and indigent under any sort of necessity whatsoever then ought Children to be very ready to help them to comfort and to encourage them to do all that they can to make their lives easie to them and to lighten their Burdens This is called 1 Tim. 1.4 A shewing Piety at home It is an act of Religion and Worship which God is well pleased with We see how Joseph nourished his Father and his Brethren and all his Fathers household with Bread Gen. 47.12 It was an old Roman Law Let Children relieve their Parents or be put in Prison How many Examples have there been amongst the Heathens of Eminent Piety towards Parents Such was that Act of her Valer. Max. l. 5. cap. 4. who when her Old Father was condemned to be put to death in Prison visited him often and gave him suck and so preserved him alive who otherwise must have dyed of Famine The like instance we meet with in the same Author Valer. Max. ibid. of a worthy Roman Daughter who did in the same manner preserve her Mother in Prison being condemned to dye When the Keeper of the Prison to whom the charge of putting her to death was committed found after some time that her Daughter kept her alive by giving her suck he was so affected with the greatness of the Daughters Compassion
with him by Baptism into Death that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father even so we also should walk in newness of Life These words import not only our belief of a crucified Saviour who dyed and was buried for sin to save us from it but also our Repentance whereby we renounce sin as dead and buried to it for the time to come The general Design of this Sacrament being sufficiently plain and clear from these and other Scriptures it is to little purpose and oftentimes it proves to very ill purpose to enquire any further as to particulars for by so doing a great many persons judging of divine things by their own weak and foolish apprehensions have reasoned themselves if I may so speak both out of their Reason and Religion 2. Duty to season their Minds betimes with good Impressions Secondly When Children begin to speak and to discover some dawnings of Reason it is fit to season their Minds with some good Thoughts with some divine Impressions that Religion betimes may catch hold of their tender and innocent Minds before they are corrupted and defiled with bad Principles and vain unreasonable Opinions which they are apt to learn too soon from evil Company Teach them who made them who dyed for them for what end they were made whither good Children go when they dye and whither naughty Children go what a place Heaven is and Hell c. These and such like plain and easie things are to be told them which they can understand and which may make some impression on their minds In teaching Children such matters it is necessary to condescend to their weak capacity It is not fit to ask them such Questions at all times nor yet to say too much to them at any one time Such Instructions are to be dropt into their minds softly and leisurely so as not to oppress them but to recreate them not to be a burden to them but a pleasure It cannot be expressed how great Advantages attend such early Instructions these are the Seeds of Virtue which take root insensibly and spring up sometimes very unexpectedly the Impressions which they make continue a great while as Earthen Vessels retain the savour of that Liquor which was first put into them a long time after So powerful are these first Instructions that they are able to conquer even Nature it self The famous Lycurgus made this appear by bringing into the Market-place two Dogs of one Litter and presenting before them a Pot of Pottage and a Hare one of them which was trained up in Hunting run after the Hare and the other which was brought up in the House fell to the Pottage What a wonderful power may we daily observe in those early impressions which are made on mens minds Thereby it comes to pass that the most absurd and extravagant Opinions which have been suck'd in when one was young can hardly be removed by the clearest and strongest Reasonings 3. Duty to teach them to pray Thirdly Teach them so soon as may be to pray to God Morning and Evening To say after you or others whom you appoint for that purpose two or three short Petitions which are easie to be understood and as their Understanding and Capacity increaseth teach them the Lord's Prayer and after that some larger Form of Prayer which they may say after you till they can read it themselves or get it by heart You are to have a special care that they perform their Devotions in as grave and serious a manner as their years can admit You are to keep them from all sorts of indecent Actions and Postures when they say their Prayers For this end you are to teach them who it is they speak to when they pray and what these things mean which they pray for Chuse the fittest times for them wherein to say their Prayers as in the Morning when-ever they arise while their Spirits are most vigorous and their Thoughts most free At Night let them say their Prayers rather before Supper than after because after Supper they are more apt to be very dull and sleepy and thereby less fit for such a performance God is not to be served with the refuse of our thoughts and with sluggish sleepy desires but with our best and most lively affections and with the strength and fervour of our desires You are to prevent their omitting their Prayers at any one time because doing so once or twice they are apt to neglect them wholly or to return to them with great aversness Whereas Custom and Constancy in performing their Devotions will make them much more easie and pleasant to them When they are possessed with more perfect and solid thoughts about Religion with stronger and more lively impressions of Divine things and are able without great difficulty to express the sense of their Souls They may do what they find does serve best the great purposes of Devotion If praying without restraining themselves to any particular Form of Words contribute more to their fervency and elevation of mind in Prayer let them pray without using a Form But if they find that their Minds are more stayed and fixed and their fervency and devotion greater in the use of a Form than without it let them do that which they find best When they pray for outward and temporal things teach them to do it with an entire submission to the Will of God who hath promised perishing things conditionally that is so far as he sees the bestowing of them will be for his Glory and the good of his Children Therefore they must not be vehement and importunate in their desires and Prayers for such things but ought to pray for them with great humility and resignation to the Divine Will As for spiritual Blessings to wit the pardon of Sin the direction and assistance of the Spirit of God his Grace to help them in time of need power and strength to fight against the Devil the World and the Flesh c. These things are to be prayed for with all the importunity and earnestness that is possible The more vehement and fervent their desires and Prayers are for such things the more acceptable are they to God and the more likely to obtain from him the desires of their Souls for he hath promised to satisfie the longing Soul with good things 4. Duty to observe carefully their temper and disposition and to endeavour to reform what is amiss therein Fourthly Observe carefully their Temper and Disposition what Vices they are most inclined to If they are sturdy and proud peevish and passionate cunning given to lying flattery and dissimulation if they are conceited rash and unadvised c. Endeavour all you can to bend their minds another way For Example if they are sturdy and proud strive to humble them and break them to tame their proud Spirits accustom them to the doing acts of humility do not gratifie them in those things that are apt
and tenderness to her Mother that he made it known to those in Power who were likewise so mightily touched with such an unusual instance of tender Affection that they pardoned the Mother as the greatest Reward they could bestow on the Daughter for her marvellous Affection What can there be more just and reasonable than for Children thus to endeavour to requite their Parents for their great care and kindness towards them when they were not able to help themselves The time was when their Parents were as Eyes and Hands and Feet to them they did every thing for them their Children not being capable to do any thing for themselves How ready therefore should they be to serve their Parents to assist them by all good Offices when their condition requires it This is a Duty to which Children are so strictly obliged to wit the assisting and relieving of their Parents that no pretence is sufficient to absolve them from the Obligation thereof The Pharisees thought they had found out an Exception from this Rule which was this that if Children gave away their Wealth to pious and Charitable uses they were freed from the Obligation of relieving their Parents They taught them in this case to tell their Parents It is Corban that is to say a Gift by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me Mar. 7.11 And by saying this they made people believe that they were sufficiently freed from all Obligations to take care of and provide for their Parents But our Saviour reproves them severely telling them that this was no other than the making void the Commandments of God by their Traditions We may see from this Against unkind and unnatural Children what Judgment to make of such unkind undutiful and unnatural Children who do wholly neglect their Parents especially in their old age and in their poor and low Estate who shew them no more pity and express no more love nor tenderness towards them than if they were not their Parents who grudge them the least supply and take all the wicked courses that they can to starve them to death that they may be rid of them who wish and long for and rejoyce in the death of their poor Parents O what a horrid Barbarity and Inhumanity is this Shall not many Pagans rise up in Judgment against such Children and Condemn them How little do they deserve the Name of Christian Children Their true Name is Unchristian and unnatural Children As Solomon bid the Sluggard go to the Ant so may we bid such hard-hearted and unmerciful Children go to the Stork of whom it is told that when the old Dams cannot feed themselves their little ones feed and nourish them when their Feathers fall from them they cover them with their Feathers and when they are not able to fly they couple themselves together to carry them upon their Backs Let uncompassionate Children go to this compassionate Creature and consider her ways and be wise Let them learn from her to be more kind and affectionate and tender-hearted towards their Parents and not any longer to harden their Bowels against them 7. Duty to pray for their Parents Seventhly Because all that Children can do is not sufficient to requite the love and tender care of their Parents therefore they ought to pray to God that he would reward them and preserve them and keep them alive that he would supply all their wants and comfort them in all their troubles and requite their Love their tender care and their great cost and pains they have been at to bring them up and to educate them How happy are the Parents of such Children who are supplicants and intercessors at the Throne of Grace for good things unto them Such Children are the strength of their Parents they are a great blessing unto them If it be the Duty of Children thus to pray to God Against Cursers of Parents in behalf of their Parents what shall we say of those who neither pray for them nor themselves but live like the Beasts that perish and mind nothing that 's good And if their Crime is great who do not at all pray for their Parents how dreadful is their Guilt who Curse them What dreadful Judgments may such Monsters of wickedness expect Prov. 20.20 Who so Curseth his Father or his Mother his Lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness that is he shall be reduced unto a sad afflicted and miserable State his prosperous condition which is compared to Light or to a Lamp shall be turned into Adversity and Misery and that very great which is expressed by obscure darkness he shall be made very miserable his state and condition in the World shall become most uncomfortable as it is for a Man who walketh in a way that is full of Light where he beholds a great many Objects which afford him pleasure and delight suddenly to be deprived of all this and to find himself all alone in obscure darkness without all help and comfort By the Law of Moses such ungodly and unnatural Children were without any pardon to be put to death Exod. 21.17 He that Curseth his Father or his Mother shall surely be put to death From what hath been said Children may see what their Duty is which they owe to their Parents which that they may perform there are several things which serve as powerful Motives and Arguments to excite them Motives to excite Children to do these things First 1. Motive from the divine Commandment It will tend mightily to move them to Honour their Father and Mother if they consider who requires this at their hands This Law proceedeth not from Men but from God It is a Law made by him who is their Maker and therefore by right of Creation may require their Obedience It is a Law made by their faithful preserver and rich provider and therefore by vertue of his daily care over them and kindness to them may command them what he thinks good This is the will of their Father in Heaven of their Lord and King of him who will call them to an account and render to them according to their Works of him who is their greatest and best Friend if they do his Will and keep his Commandments but will be their most dreadful and terrible Enemy if they do not obey his Voice If therefore children have any sense of God on their Souls if they consider his infinite greatness power wisdom justice truth faithfulness mercy and kindness they cannot but endeavour to perform what he requires when once they know what is his holy will and pleasure Now as to what I speak of to wit the Duty of Children to Parents it is plain and clear not only from those Laws which are contained in Holy Scripture which were revealed from Heaven to Holy Men whom God made use of to be the publishers thereof to the World but likewise from the Laws of Nature those clear impressions which God hath made on the minds
is the first Commandment in the Law with Promise and to let you see how God delights in your honouring your Parents and obeying their wholesom Counsels he hath singled out that Precept and dress'd it with more than ordinary encouragements But then the Honour you shew them must not spend it self in some outward Civilities but must be expressed in Actions in Speeches and in Patience according to the Advice of the Son of Syrach Ecclesiastic 3.12 13 14. In Actions so as to execute their lawful Commands with great alacrity and fidelity to labour and to take pains for their maintenance and support if they are fallen to decay and to relieve their necessities according to your ability In Words and Speeches so as to speak honourably of them to answer them with humility to comfort them when they are in trouble and to pacifie them with soft language when they are angry and displeased In Patience so as to bear their anger patiently and to endure their frowardness and pettishness without contradiction to receive their severer Commands and such as are contrary to your genius and inclination with gentleness and to do them without murmuring These are Duties which draw more than ordinary Blessings upon you God that sees you do so will have thoughts of peace towards you he will be concerned for you and you may be confident he will not leave you nor forsake you In honouring your Parents you honour your selves It 's that which will not only procure you favour with God but with men too It 's upon this account that Wise men have recorded the Dutifulness of some excellent Children and made them immortal by their Writings and there are such Examples of this filial Respect even among the Heathen that it would be odious and dreadful if the Children of Christians should fall short of their Duty God lays so great a stress upon it that as he promises the kindest things to it so he threatens as severe punishments where it is neglected and that he doth not only threaten but execute these Judgments any man may see that will take notice of his Providences But all this the Reader will be more fully convinced of by reading the following Discourse which that God may bless with success and edification shall be my hearty Prayer A. Horneck ADVICE TO PARENTS BY A Divine of the Church of England LONDON Printed for S. Lowndes near the Savoy-Gate in the Strand 1690. THE CONTENTS Of Advice to Parents PART I. THE Introduction shewing the great Importance of the right Education of Children Pag. 1 How Parents ought to be affected while Children are yet in the Womb. 2 How they ought to he affected when their Children are born 3 The Duties of Parents for their Childrens Souls 1. Duty To Consecrate them to God in Baptism 4 2. Duty to season their minds betimes with good Impressions 7 3 Duty to teach them to pray 9 4. Duty to observe carefully their Temper and Disposition and to endeavour to reform what is amiss therein 12 5. Duty to see that they be taught to read 18 Great care ought to be taken what Books they read 20 6. Duty to bring them to the place of publick Worship so soon as they are fit for it 23 7. Duty to make them understand their Baptismal Covenant 24 The Benefit of Confirmation if performed in a right manner 25 8. Duty to encourage them to come to the Lord's Table 28 9. Duty to take care that they accustom themselves to self-Examination 30 Some plain and easie Directions how to Examin themselves 31 32 c. 10. Duty to observe what Providences they meet with and to acquaint them therewith in due time 36 Some Directions to Parents how to render their Endeavours Effectual 1. Direction They must give their Children good Example 37 2. They must chuse good Company for them 38 Advice to Parents who send their Children abroad to Travel 31 3 They must as need requires reprove and chasten their Children and how 42 The Evil of too great Severity 44. 4. They must carefully improve the time of their Childrens sickness or of any other afflictions they meet with towards the making of them wiser and better 45 5. They must daily pray to God for them 47 Some Motives to excite Parents to do these things 1. Motive from the Divine Command 48 2. Motive from its being a Work worthy of the utmost care and pains of Parents 49 3. Motive from the Rewards which attend those who faithfully do these things 51 4. Motive from the sad effects which attend the neglect of these Duties 52. PART II. The Duties of Parents as to their Childrens Bodies 1. Duty it belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children 56 2. Duty about Childrens dyet 58 3. Duty about Childrens Apparel 59 The Duty of Parents as to the outward Estate of their Children 1. Duty about chusing a fit trade for their Children 61 2. Duty about disposing of them in Marriage 62 3. Duty about providing somewhat that may be the foundation for their comfortable subsistence in the World 65 The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents 68 An Appendix concerning the Duty of Parents when God removeth their Children by Death 1. They ought to consider that it is the Lord who does it 75 2. They ought to consider that their Children were born mortal 76 3. They should consider from whence and whither they are gone 81 4. They should consider that there will be a Resurrection 86 5. They should consider that their giving way to excessive grief and mourning can do no good but will certainly do a great deal of hurt 88 Some Forms of Prayer which Parents may teach their Children according to their Age. 93 THE CONTENTS OF Advice to Children THE Introduction 103 1. Duty of Children to honour their Parents And how they are to honour them 104 Against those who dishonour their rents 107 2. Duty of Children to obey their Parents 110 Against Stubborn and disobedient Children 112 3. Duty of Children to be determined by their Parents as to their Calling 114 Against Children who neglect this Duty 116 4. Duty of Children not to suffer themselves to be bestowed in marriage against their Parents will 118 Against those Children who neglect this Duty 120 5. Duty of Children to submit to their Parents Reproofs and chastenings 120 Against Rebellious Children 122 6. Duty of Children to love their Parents and how they are to express their Love 124 Against unkind and unnatural Children 127 7. Duty of Children to pray for their Parents 128 Against Cursers of Parents 129 Motives to excite Children to do these things 1. Motive from the Authority of him who commands them to do these things 131 2. Motive from the Promise made to those who do their Duty 133 3. Motive from the Example of our Blessed Master 136 4. Motive from the Examples of some Heathens 139 The Conclusion shewing how Children ought to improve what hath been
made so publick a profession It would make them more afraid to do bad things against which they had protested so solemnly And not only fear but shame in this case would restrain them from doing wickedly This would be to young People a great defence against Temptations Bad men would not so boldly ask them to sin if they knew they had openly and solemnly disowned and renounced them and all their wicked Courses and if they were tempted they would be more apt to say in their own minds Shall we do such wicked things and run the hazard of being Covenant-breakers and perjured persons Shall we commit such Villanies and practice such Abominations and thereby break our solemn Vow and Engagement Shall we by our folly and impiety give occasion of offence and scandal to the Church of Christ which he hath purchased with his Blood Shall we renounce the Captain of our Salvation and prove Deserters who have so lately vowed to renounce the Devil and all his Works What a mighty defence would this be to your Children when assaulted by the fiery Darts of the Devil the Vanities of the World and the lusts of their own deceitful hearts to consider that by their own actual Consent they have renounced all these and given up themselves into the hands of God to be kept by his mighty Power through Faith unto Salvation They have vowed and they ought to perform it to keep his righteous Judgments These things being impartially considered should mightily excite Parents to see that their Children do openly and solemnly profess their Faith in Christ crucified their resolution to obey him to serve him and love him to fight under his Banner against sin the Devil and the World and to continue his Faithful Souldiers and Servants unto their lives end Is not this your Glory that your Children are Christians and do you think it a shame or dishonour for you or them if they make a solemn profession of their Christianity that they avow their Religion and will by Gods help make good the promise which was made in their Name in Baptism Of so great importance is this Custom that the greatest men amongst the Reformers did highly commend it and did earnestly with that it might be restored as a thing of great use towards the reviving the true Spirit of Christianity 8. Duty to encourage them to come to the Lord's Table Eighthly When they are fit for it you should encourage them to come to the Table of the Lord that they may be strengthened in their most holy Faith and further assured of the love of God that they may make a publick profession of their Christianity of their love to their Lord and Master Jesus of their Charity to all Men and of their sincere affection to those who are Christs Members and Followers They ought to make use of this holy Sacrament that their love to their dearest Lord and Saviour may be kindled and enflamed by remembring his Love and shewing forth his Death that they may bind themselves more strictly to serve and obey him and to fulfil their Baptismal Engagement How glad should Parents be to see their Children advanced to this honour to eat and drink at their Lord's Table to partake of so great a Testimony of his Kindness and Friendship How earnestly should they encourage them to embrace this opportunity of renewing their Covenant with the Lord to live and to dye his faithful Servants Do you not desire to have them saved to have them delivered from their Lusts and Passions their Pride and Revenge Uncharitableness and Malice their Hatred and Envy and from all manner of Sin and Folly to be made pure and clean in Heart and Life to be made meet for that holy place where no unclean thing can enter Do you not desire that their Sins may be blotted out that they may be washed with the Blood of their Saviour And yet do you not advise and entreat them for their Souls Health and Safety to come to the Holy Communion which is designed for these excellent and great Ends and Purposes But alas how far are too many Parents from doing this for their Children How many do either wholly or for the most part neglect and slight this holy Ordinance themselves as if our Lord had without any just or necessary ground appointed it How can such Persons expect the precious Fruits of the Death of Christ who will not remember his Death when he so lovingly and kindly calls and invites them to do it Do this in remembrance of me What a great Argument is it of a wonderful decay of true Piety and Religion in the World when Men do thus despise and set at naught the kindness of their Lord and Saviour When they refuse to do a thing so just and reasonable and so easie as this is which tends so much to his Glory and their own true Happiness and Welfare both here and hereafter 9. Duty to take care that they accustom themselves to Self-Examination Ninthly When they are fit for it see that they accustom themselves to Self-Examination that they spend a few moments every night if another time of the day be not more convenient for them to do it in in calling themselves to an account That they may see what good or what evil they have done That they may give praise and thanks unto God for any thing they have done which was good and right and that they may confess their Sins and Follies begging his gracious pardon and renewing their purposes and resolutions to do better for the time to come But besides these daily short Reviews of their Heart and Life 't is fit to call upon them when they are well advanced in years to a more strict and solemn Examination of themselves to Prayer and Fasting as their Age and Strength can bear it This may be done once a Month or once in two Months or once a Quarter at least As to their abstinence from Food on such days there 's no Rule can be given to serve all persons if they can fast one meal or two it is well if not then they may eat less at a time and of such things as are less apt to be a hinderance to their Devotion That is to be done that serves most to render them fit for Prayer and Meditation It will be convenient in order to their doing this to good purpose to be directed to a method that so their Thoughts may not wander and be unfixed For which end it will be of good use to have the direction of their Minister if he be a discreet and good Man or of some other prudent serious Christian Friend Or you may recommend to them some plain and easie short Treatise on this Subject such as you shall find written discreetly with due moderation of Spirit There is not any one method can be prescribed for all persons nor fit for all times But in general upon such days it 's fit for them to
in quarrelling and fighting in whoring and ranting and such like woful doings which cannot but prove to those who have any the least degree of real goodness so very uneasie and afflictive that Wealth and Riches can make no amends for them Such unfortunate persons cannot but often envy the happiness of those who are in a very poor and low estate and condition but yet live in peace and quietness in love and concord and in the fear of God and so enjoy-real satisfaction and contentment and have a great deal of Comfort to sweeten their outward Wants and Necessities Prov. 15.16 17. Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great Treasure and trouble therewith Better is a Dinner of Herbs where Love is than a stalled Ox and hatred therewith Thirdly Parents are to provide for them 3. Duty about providing somewhat that may be the foundation of their comfortable subsistance in the World if they can somewhat that may be a foundation for their Comfortable subsistance in the World which by the Blessing of God on their Callings may be improved towards their living decently and honestly Parents are not to propose to themselves the rendring their Children very Great and Rich But as they themselves having Food and Rayment are to be therewith content so if they can get Necessaries for their Children they ought to rest satisfied and be thankful Our life that is the happiness of our life doth not consist in the abundance of the things we possess Luke 12.15 Tho' you are thus to provide for your Children yet you are not out of too great thoughtfulness about the time to come to restrain your selves from doing all necessary Offices of Charity to the poor who do now stand in need of your help Never neglect a present Duty for fear of an uncertain inconvenience You are forbid to take thought for the Morrow Matth. 6.34 But you are required to do good to all Men while you have opportunity Gal. 6.10 To cast your Bread upon the Waters to give a Portion to seven as also unto eight because you know not what evil there may be in the Earth Eccles 11.1 2. This is the way to lay up Treasures for your Children to entail upon them great Blessings to make God their Guardian to leave them to his merciful and kind Providence and to his Almighty protection Ps 37.25 26. I have been young and now am old yet have I not seen the Righteous forsaken nor his Seed begging Bread He is ever merciful and lendeth and his Seed is Blessed So that by your Bounty and Charity you put forth your Money into God's hands who will not fail to repay it with Usury He that gives to the poor lendeth to the Lord. You thereby bring your Wares to a good Market The liberal Soul shall be made fat Prov. 11.25 He that gives to the poor shall not lack Prov. 28.27 and Deut. 15.10 it is written Thou shalt surely give him to wit thy poor Brother and thy heart shall not be grieved when thou givest unto him because that for this thing the Lord thy God shall bless thee in all thy Works and in all that thou puttest thine hands unto And in the Epistle to the Hebrews ch 6. v. 10. it is said God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love which you have shewed towards his Name in that you have ministred to the Saints and do minister From all which it appears that Charity and Liberality are the best Husbandry As you are to beware lest your care for your Children make you neglect necessary Duties of Charity so you are to take heed lest you use any unlawful method to get Wealth to bestow upon them This is not a way to make them rich for such Riches seldom prosper There is a Curse which attends all unlawful Gain and like a Canker eats it out and consumes it All Ages and Places afford Examples which confirm this Observation Better saith Solomon Prov. 16.8 is a little with Righteousness than great Revenues without Right Thus I have shewed you what are the principal Duties you owe to the Souls and Bodies of your Children and what you are to do for them as to their outward Estate The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents From what hath been said you may see what a weighty and difficult charge you have the sense whereof should excite you to beg of God earnestly every day that he would direct and assist you to perform the Duties that belong to Christian Parents That you may the better act your part 't is fit for you when you call your selves to an account about your Lives and Conversations to make enquiry particularly how you perform the Duties of Parents towards your Children as to their Souls their Bodies and Outward Concerns And if upon serious enquiry you find that you sincerely endeavour to do whatever you know your selves to be bound to do for them then bless and praise God who gives you both to will and to do according to his good pleasure Beg his pardon for those imperfections and defects that attend all Humane Actions Resolve to go on and not to grow weary in your Duty towards them that so they may be as happy in all respects as is possible for you by the help of God to make them But if upon enquiry you find that you have been very defective in your duty towards your Children that you have done very little good for their Souls and not what you should and might have done for their Bodies and outward Estate and that perhaps you have done them a great deal of hurt by your Evil Counsel and Prophane and Wretched Example that you have led them on in the Broad Way which leads to the Chambers of Death that you have robbed God who bestowed them on you of their Service and Obedience and have made them the Servants of Sin that you have contributed to the making them Heirs of Wrath Children of Disobedience who were made by their Baptism Children of God and Inheritors of the Kingdom of Heaven that you have done what tended to destroy eternally those Souls and Bodies which God intrusted with you that you might take care of them and do what you could to make them happy If I say upon enquiry into your hearts and lives you find your selves guilty of those things how great reason have you to be in bitterness and grief of Heart to weep and lament to abhor your selves in Dust and Ashes to confess and acknowledge your sins with great humility and contrition to implore the divine mercy and forgiveness with all earnestness for the sake of his dear Son to resolve and purpose sincerely to amend your ways and doings to beg grace from God that he would assist you that he would compass you about with his Salvation and never leave you nor forsake you Consider the particular things wherein you have hurt the Souls of your Children and
failed in your Duty to them as to their Bodies and Outward Concerns And the more you find you have done amiss resolve so much the more to be zealous to do them good to double your diligence in promoting the wellfare and happiness both of their Souls and Bodies Tell them so far as is meet what you now see and feel let them know that you have been out of the way that you have milled them and brought both your selves and them in danger of being undone and ruined eternally Tell them what you resolve to do and what you and they ought to do and must do or else that you will certainly perish Delay not to do this one moment fly like a Bird out of the Snare of the Fowler Your Souls lye at the stake and therefore do what Men use to do to save their Lives Skin for Skin and all that a Man hath will he give for his Life Men are ready to part with any thing to save their lives They 'l part with House and Lands with Silver and Gold with their whole Estate and Substance to save their Bodies alive which must dye at last and for ought they know may dye within a very few days or hours How much more ought you that you may save your own Souls and the Souls of your Children to part with your vile and unruly Lusts and Passions your vain foolish Habits and Customs which are your reproach and dishonour which are the worst things in the World which can do you no good if you hold them still but will certainly do you a great deal of mischief They will prove the cause of your destruction they will deprive you of all that is good and excellent they will cut you off from the favour of God the Love of Christ and the fellowship of the Blessed Spirit they will likewise deprive you of the assistance and Ministry of the Holy Angels and the Comfortable Society of the Saints departed they will exclude you for ever from the Kingdom of Heaven the Crown of righteousness the peace and joy the love and glory of the future State All this your sins will deprive you of and instead thereof they will expose you to the Wrath of God to the devouring fire to everlasting Burnings to blackness of darkness to weeping and gnashing of Teeth to the wretched and cursed company of Devils and damned Souls to the Worm which never dieth which will gnaw you and torment you for ever And will you chuse all this rather than part with your Lusts that you may be for ever happy and have fulness of joy and pleasures for evermore Will you be so mad as to prefer Hell and Death everlasting Misery and Woe to Heaven and everlasting life to Blessedness and Glory Now is the time for you to become either happy or miserable if you repent and amend and act the part of Wise and Religious Parents you may be happy for God will have mercy upon you Isa 55.7 Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous Man his Thoughts And let him return unto the Lord and he will have mercy upon him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon Follow therefore the Example of the Psalmist Psal 119.59 60. I thought on my ways and turned my feet unto thy Testimonies I made haste and delayed not to keep thy Commandments But if instead of this you continue in your sin and folly setting at naught Gods Counsels and despising his Reproofs putting the Evil Day far from you promising your selves peace and safety tho' you walk after your own Hearts Lusts making a mock at sin and laughing at all that is sacred and serious and by your wicked Example destroying the Souls and Bodies of your poor Children then assure your selves God will not be mocked he will at last whet his Sword and bend his Bow and make ready his Arrows against his Adversaries he will render to you according to your Works he will in no wise clear the Guilty Consider the terrible threatning which is mentioned Deut. 29.19 20. against the man who when he heareth the words of the Curse does bless himself in his Heart saying I shall have peace tho' I walk in the imagination of my heart to add drunkenness to thirst The Lord will not spare him but the anger of the Lord and his jealousie shall smoke against that man and all the Curses that are written in this Book shall lye upon him and the Lord shall blot out his Name from under Heaven Concerning the Duty of Parents when God removeth their Children by death After all that hath been said it will not be unfit to add somewhat concernning the Duty of Parents when God sees fit to remove their Children from them by Death This falls out so very often to Parents that it cannot but be seasonable to a great many to suggest to them some plain and easie considerations which they may sometimes reflect upon and imprint on their minds that so they may not be surprised with the death of their Children nor swallowed up of excessive and immoderate grief Parents ought to consider 1. They ought to consider that it is the Lord who does it when their Children dye first that is the Lord who does it He who is Lord of Life who gave Life to themselves and to their Children is also Lord of death and removes out of the World whom and when he sees sit He is the great Potter and Man is the Clay which he hath formed and fashioned into a curious and beautiful shape and animated with an immortal Soul When he sees fit to break this brittle Vessel in pieces and to separate the Soul from it who dare say unto him What doest thou May not he do with his own what he thinks good Or must he give an account of his Actions unto the work of his own hands He is infinitely great and powerful and therefore will do according to his own good pleasure He is infinitely wise and knows what 's best and fittest to be done He is infinitely good and kind and therefore will order all things for good And he is infinitely just and righteous and therefore can do no wrong It 's fit therefore that Parents when God removes their Children from them by Death submit chearfully to the will of him who is infinitely powerful wise good and just and that they adore him and say with Ely 1 Sam. 3.18 It is the Lord let him do what seemeth him good 2. They ought to consider that their Children were born mortal Secondly They should consider that their Children were born Mortal frail by Nature subject to a necessity of dying by their very composition and frame and also by the Decree of Heaven Heb. 9.27 It is appointed for all Men once to dye And therefore when God sees fit to remove them by Death to make the House of Clay fall down about their Ears Parents ought not to be surprised This is nothing
but what falls out daily Some are going out of the World and some are coming into it Some are a great while upon the Stage and some but a very short while some no sooner enter upon it but presently they are gone and are seen no more some take a few turns and then they are withdrawn some tarry longer and act a great part on the Stage for a considerable time and give hopes of yet greater Actions and Performances but on a sudden they are gone likewise as a shadow and all their own designs and projects and the hopes and expectations of others fall to the ground All this happens every day in the Course of things here in the World and therefore Parents have no reason to think it strange when they see their Children dye The thing that hath been it is that which shall be and that which is done is that which shall be done and there is no new thing under the Sun Eccles 1.9 And as it is with men so it is with all things else which live upon the Earth or grow out of it Some live longer and some a shorter while than others of the same kind Some prosper and thrive and others decay and perish Some things grow up in the Morning and are withered e're Night Some things grow apace till they are very near the time of ripeness and perfection and then somewhat happeneth which prevents the perfect growth and makes the goodly appearance come to nothing Now what are Men Moses in his Prayer Ps 90.5 6. tells us In the Morning they are like grass which groweth up In the Morning it flourisheth and groweth up In the Evening it is cut down and withereth And to the same purpose the Psalmist David speaketh Psal 103.15 16 As for Man his days are as grass as a flower of the field so he flourisheth for the Wind passeth over it and it is gone and the place thereof shall know it no more Likewise Esa 40.6 7. it is thus written The Voice said Cry And he said What shall I cry All flesh is grass and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field The grass withereth the flower fadeth because the Spirit of the Lord bloweth upon it Surely the people is grass By all which it appears what Man is by Nature to wit a very weak and vanishing thing soon nipt and brought to nothing like the tender Grass and the Flower of the Field which is more exposed to the Winds and other inconveniencies than the Flowers of the Garden which the Gardiner preserves and secures The Consideration of these things will tend mightily to quiet the minds of those who calmly and wisely reflect upon them when God removes their Children or other Relations from them by Death Their case is not singular it is that which is common and usual amongst men it is according to the course of Nature for a mortal thing to die But what if the manner of the death of your Children be somewhat extraordinary by some sudden and unusual Accident or by some strange and odd Distemper are you on this account to allow your selves in the excesses of Sorrow and Mourning No in no ways You are not therefore to be transported into immoderate grief and mourning Shall you be vexed and disquieted because a Worm did eat up your pleasant Fruit or because the stormy Wind did blow away your lovely Flowers Are you therefore to be enraged and mad with anger against the Worms or against the Winds What would it mend the matter if you should give way to your passion and anger never so much in such a case This would only multiply your losses by making you lose not only your Fruit and your Flowers but your selves too Which they all do who lose their patience in which it is that we possess our Souls When therefore your Children are removed from you by Death in some unusual and extraordinary manner you ought to look beyond Diseases or Accidents unto the Lord of Life and Death who by his Providence ordereth not only their death but the manner of it If the Sparrows fall not to the ground that is die not without your Father You may be sure your Children do not die by chance or without the particular disposal of their heavenly Father As to the particular grounds and reasons for which God does after such a manner see fit to put an end to your Childrens days you are not to be too curious and inquisitive The Counsels of God are a great deep His ways are in the deep waters and none by searching can find him out unto perfection Job 11.7 Upon such occasions all ought to remember the words of our Lord when they told him of the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their Sacrifices Luk. 13.2 3 4 5. Suppose ye that these Galileans were sinners above all the Galileans because they suffered such things I tell you Nay But except ye repent ye shall all likewise perish Or those eighteen upon whom the Tower of Siloe fell and slew them think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem I tell you Nay But except ye repent ye shall all likewise perish Thirdly Consider from whence 3. They should consider from whence and whither they are gone and whither they are gone They were here in a life of Vexation and Trouble subject to innumerable vanities temptations snares and dangers They were compassed about with great and terrible Enemies the Devil the World and the Flesh They were subject to daily necessities and wants If they had lived never so long they would only have seen the same things in a continual succession and revolution As for Example heat and cold fair weather and foul night and day Summer and Winter health and sickness plenty and poverty peace and war prosperity and adversity succeeding one to another All things going round But now they are delivered from all these they are at rest they are subject to no more necessities and wants oppressed with no more troubles and vexations exposed to no more enemies temptations or dangers but exalted to a state of perfect peace joy love and glory They are as well and better than you can desire You are not able to comprehend the Happiness that they are admitted to Will you then be in continual sorrow and grief for your Children when they are exalted to a state of Rest and Glory when they are where you would rejoyce to be when their gracious Father hath freed them from the vain company of the World and translated them into the blessed Society of Angels and of the Spirits of just men made perfect when he hath put an end to their toil and labour to their fighting and wrestling against their Enemies and bestowed on them a Crown of Glory and an everlasting Inheritance when he hath broken their bonds asunder wherein they were held and kept in captivity and slavery and hath put them into a state of
folly is it for Men to consume to disquiet and to torment themselves where it is to no purpose at all to do so And not only do you thereby no good at all to your selves but you do your selves a great deal of mischief and prejudice You provoke God to anger against you to bring upon you yet heavier and more grievous punishments and to deprive you of other Mercies and Comforts which you still enjoy You do thereby no small hurt to your Bodies you bring upon your selves very dangerous Distempers which will make you unfit for the actions of Life and the Duties of your Calling You likewise do unspeakable mischief to your Souls you deprive your selves of that vigour and chearfulness of Spirit that is needful to make you fit to serve God acceptably You thereby weaken your Memory and darken and disorder your Reason and Understanding and so expose your selves to all the sad consequences of a disordered and distracted Mind Your Example does also a great deal of hurt to others Your impatience and immoderate sorrow and mourning teacheth others to do so upon the like occasion Hereby you bring no small reproach upon our holy Religion as if it were not sufficient to support and fortifie us against our crosses and afflictions and to comfort us amidst the uneasie things which God sees sit to exercise us with in this World What an excellent Example is David unto you in this matter When God struck his Child so that it was very sick he fasted and prayed but when the Child died he arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his apparel and came unto the House of the Lord and worshipped Then he came to his own house and when he required they set bread before him and he did eat Then said his servants unto him What thing is this that thou hast done Thou didst fast and weep for the Child while it was alive but when the Child was dead thou didst rise and eat bread And he said While the Child was yet alive I fasted and wept for I said Who can tell whether God will be gracious unto me that the Child may live But now he is dead Wherefore should I fast Can I bring him again I shall go to him but he shall not return to me 2 Sam. 12.15 16 c. Thus ought all Parents to do who fear God When the Lord layeth his hand upon your Children you ought to pray to God for them and to use all lawful means for their recovery But when he sees fit to take them away by death you ought patiently to submit to his Will and to say with Job The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the Lord Job 1.21 This is your wisest course It is the way to make your selves happy and to enjoy comfort and satisfaction of mind under your crosses This is the likeliest and readiest way to obtain new Mercies and Favours from the Lord instead of those you are deprived of Thus you see the Lord dealt with Job Jam. 5. 11. Ye have heard of the patience of Job and have seen the end of the Lord That the Lord is very pitiful and of tender mercy And Job 42.12 13. The Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning And vers 16 17. After this lived Job an hundred and forty years and saw his sons and his sons sons even four generations So Job dyed being old and full of days But if God see it more fit to withhold from you the blessings of the Womb and to bestow no more Children upon you he can and will make up this want with much greater and better Blessings What you want in Temporals you shall have in Spirituals As Elkanah said to Hannah 1 Sam. 1.8 He will be better to you than ten Sons He will give you a Name better than of Sons and Daughters even an everlasting Name that shall not be cut off Isa 56.5 SOME FORMS OF PRAYER WHICH Parents may teach their Children according to their Age. A Morning Prayer to be taught Children when they begin to speak O Lord I praise thee for all thy Mercies and for thy Care of me this Night Watch over me this day Forgive me all my sins and make me thy Child for Jesus Christ his sake This Prayer may be used likewise at Night only changing that petition watch over me this Day into watch over me this Night When Children come to be four or five years old the following Prayer may be used O Lord my God what shall I render unto thee for all thy Mercies I bless thee for giving me Life and all things needful to keep me alive But above all I bless thee for sending Christ to dye for me that he might wash me with his Blood and make me fit for the Kingdom of Heaven For his sake have mercy upon me and forgive me all my sinful thoughts words and deed Give me Grace to serve thee as I ought to do that I may not do nor say a naughty thing lest thou be angry with me and cast me into Hell fire Lord bless and preserve my Father and Mother * If there be Brothers and Sisters let them pray for them likewise and all my Friends and Relations I praise thee O God for preserving of me this Night watch over me this day save me from every evil thing Good Lord hear me and grant me whatsoever thou knowest to be best for me for Jesus Christ his sake in whose holy name and words I pray Our Father c. This Prayer may be likewise used at Night by changing only two words and saying instead of preserving me this night preserving me this day and instead of watch over me this day watch over me this night A Morning Prayer for Children when they come to twelve or fourteen years of Age sooner or later according to the ripeness of their understanding LORD teach and assist me to worship thee as I ought to do Lift up my heart unto thee What shall I render unto thee O most gracious God and most merciful Father for all thy mercies to me and to all the World I bless thee for making me a reasonable Creature and for affording me all things which be needful to support my Life I bless thee for my health liberty and safety for my Food and Rayment for the use of my Reason and Vnderstanding and of my Senses for thy corrections and deliverances and for all the advantages I have had by good Examples and good Instructions But chiefly I praise and bless thee for the redemption of Mankind by the Lord Jesus Christ That I was born within thy Church where I was early given to thee in Baptism that I have had the benefit of Christian Education that thou hast afforded me the means of Grace and called me to the hope of Glory But notwithstanding thy goodness and love I have gone astray from thee I have not cared so
the voice of their Father because the Lord would slay them By the Law of Moses the stubborn Son was to be put to death Deut. 21.18 19 20 21. If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son which will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother and that when they have chastened him will not hearken unto them Then shall his father and mother lay hold on him and bring him out unto the Elders of his City and unto the gate of his place And they shall say unto the Elders of his City This our son is stubborn and rebellious he will not obey our voice He is a glutton and a drunkard And all the men of his City shall stone him with stones that he die so shalt thou put evil away from among you and all Israel shall hear and fear In ancient times in most Countries Parents had an absolute power over their Children to punish them as they thought good for their disobedience and other faults And when amongst the Romans they lessened this power yet they did it at first only in part The Father was enjoyned to present his disobedient Child to the Judge that he might be punished and the Judge was to pronounce such a Sentence as the Father thought fit This came somewhat near the Law of Moses By this it appears what the sense of Mankind was concerning the exceeding greatness of the crime of stubbornness and disobedience in Children to Parents 3. Duty of Children to be determined by their Parents as to their Calling Thirdly They are to be determined by them as to their Calling and Employment if it be an honest and lawful one Their Parents are to be supposed ordinarily more wise and prudent to chuse for them than they are to chuse a Trade for themselves They have more experience and know the World better than their Children do and no doubt they have kindness enough for them to wish them well and to design their advantage and not to press them to any Trade or way of Life which they believe is inconvenient and like to be hurtful to them But if Parents should be mistaken as to the fitness of the Employment to which they design their Children and supposing the Children to be sensible of the great inconveniencies thereof which the Parents through prejudices and partialities do not see in this case Children may with all due modesty meekness and humility represent to their Parents what their thoughts are and tell them what objections they have against such a Calling that their Parents may be prevailed upon by their Reasons to alter their resolutions or if they be not so fit themselves to discourse their Parents upon such a subject they may do it by some wise and discreet Friends And if after all Parents be wilful in their intention and design Children are not upon the account of uncertain or probable inconveniencies to oppose themselves to the Will of their Parents they ought to submit themselves to their Judgment if the Trade or manner of Life to which they design them be not dishonest and unlawful for then there is no farther question to be made the case is clear The Will of God is always to be preferred to the Will of Man He that loveth father or mother more than me saith Christ is not worthy of me Matth. 10.37 But if there be nothing of dishonesty or unlawfulness in such an Employment they are to enter upon it with all the chearfulness that 's possible leaving all events unto God It will afford great peace and comfort to their minds whatever afterwards falls out when they consider that they did what was their Duty to do they submitted their own opinion to the Judgment of their Parents whom God hath commanded them to obey Whatever may be their temporal loss they are sure of spiritual gain God will plentifully reward their humble obedience and ready compliance with the Will of their earthly Parents Against Children who neglect this Duty From what hath been said on this Head we may see how much they are to be blamed who are so far from being determined by their Parents in the way and manner of their living in the World that they either wholly give up themselves to idleness and waste their time in vain and foolish Company or they chuse some way of living that is either dishonest or very inconvenient for them in many regards or if they comply with their Parents so far as to enter upon some honest way of living yet they do not keep at it but leave it and become Prodigals they spend their substance in riotous living they waste and consume what their Parents bestow upon them in drinking gaming and whoring and such like extravagancies whereby they prove Robbers of their Parents of whom see what the Wise Man saith Prov. 28.24 Who so robbeth his Father and his Mother and saith It is no Transgression the same is a Companion of a Destroyer That is he is to be look'd on as one of those who rob and murder on the High-way as a man desperately wicked who is disposed to act any sort of Villany and Impiety who will stick at nothing in pursuit of his mad and wretched designs that may gratifie his Lusts and Passions 4. Duty not to suffer themselves to be bestowed in Marriage against their Parents will Fourthly As to their Marriage they are not to suffer themselves to be bestowed without their Parents consent Thus Samson Judg. 14.1 2. And Samson went down to Timnath and saw a Woman in Timnath and he came up and told his Father and his Mother and said I have seen a Woman in Timnath of the Daughters of the Philistins now therefore get her for me to Wife How great reason is there for this that they who are under God the causes of their life and being in the World whose goods and possession Children are should he acknowledged and advised with by them and depended on in the settling of themselves in the World in such a state of Life which will prove either the foundation of great happiness or of great misery To give themselves away without their Parents Consent is a kind of theft it is to invade the right of others to rob them of that which God hath given them We see how great the Power of Parents was by the Law of Moses Numb 30.3 4 5. To disanul the rash Vows of their Children before Marriage If a Woman also vow a Vow unto the Lord and bind her self by a Bond being in her Father's House in her youth and her Father hear her Vow and her Bond wherewith she hath bound her Soul and her Father shall hold his peace at her Then all her Vows shall stand and every Bond wherewith she hath bound her Soul shall stand But if her Father disallow her in the day that he heareth not any of her Vows or of her Bonds wherewith she hath bound her Soul shall stand And
of Men in all places and in all Ages whereby they are taught that Children ought to honour and obey their Parents to love them and to relieve them and provide for them if they stand in need of their help These have always been the calm and sober thoughts of all Men and when any were so wicked as to violate this sacred Law they were hated and abhorred by all others and in all well govern'd States were punished according to the demerits of their Crime and the degree of their disobedience and perverseness either immediately by the Parents or by publick Judges upon complaint made by Parents The Sense of all this ought to move Children to honour their Father and Mother that they may approve themselves to God who requires them to do so and that upon the severest Penalties if they shall dare to dishonour them and disobey them Secondly To encourage Children to perform their Duty to their Parents 2. Motive from the Divine Promise God hath been pleased to add a gracious promise That thy days may be long upon the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee He might only have commanded them to do this by virtue of his absolute Power and Soveraign Authority which he has over all Men without proposing any Reward but such is his infinite Bounty and Goodness that he hath added a Promise to the Command thereby to make Childrens Duty the more easie As to the Promise it self it is not to be understood absolutely as if all good Children should live long promises of Temporal Blessings are made conditionally that is so far as God sees such things best and fittest for us So that as to this promise of long life God will bestow it if it be most for his own Glory and the good and Benefit of Children Oftentimes he does lengthen out the years of pious and dutiful Children whereas the years of wicked and undutiful Children are shortned by their prophane and wicked Courses so that some of them are cut off immediately by the hand of God and others are put to death by the hand of Man As for those Children who live not to a great Age tho' they are very dutiful and obedient to their Parents God doth make up what is wanting in the number of their years here with an everlasting Life and Glory in Heaven In which case there 's no cause to Complain as if God did not fulfill his promise to them For as there is no reason for a Man to complain who is employed to work for so much a day if his Master see it fit to free him from his Work and pay him all his Wages before the third part of his time is out Even so if God think fit to set his Children at Liberty from the toil and labour of this life and to bestow upon them glorious and Eternal Rewards while they are in the Morning or Noon as it were of their Age there is no ground of complaining upon his doing so but rather great matter of praise and thanksgiving unto him whose mercy and love is infinitely great But besides this Reward in the other World there are Temporal Blessings which God will bestow on those who keep this Commandment How acceptable and pleasing to him was the Obedience of the Rechabites unto their Father tho' his Commands seemed very hard and severe to wit That they should drink no Wine nor build House nor sow seed nor plant Vineyard nor have any but should dwell in Tents Jer. 35. 6 7. c. And ver 18. Jeremiah said unto the House of the Rechabites Thus saith the Lord of Hosts the God of Israel because you have obeyed the Command of Jonadab your Father and kept all his Precepts and done according to all that he hath commanded you Therefore thus saith the Lord of Hosts the God of Israel Jonadab the Son of Rechab shall not want a Man to stand before me for ever Which Words import that he would take a particular care of them that he would be mindful of them and have them in his Eye that he would preserve them and shew them his favour and love and continue unto them those Offices and Priviledges which they enjoyed which some think were of being Scribes and Doctors of the Law and having some Charge in or about the Temple 3. Motive from the Example of our Blessed Saviour Thirdly Besides the Command of God and the Reward which he hath promised to them who honour their Parents how strong an Argument ought it to be unto all Children to excite them to this when they consider the Example of their Blessed Lord and Master their King and Saviour Jesus Christ Of whom it is said that he was subject unto his Parents Luke 2.51 And if he who was so much greater than his Parents who was their Lord their King their Maker their Saviour and Redeemer if he who was the Son of God and thought it no Robbery to be equal with God I say if he was subject to his Parents ought not all Children to be so to their Parents and to esteem it their glory to imitate their Prince and Saviour as in his other Virtues so in his Obedience and Subjection to his Parents Shall any Man think himself too good to do this when Christ did it before him Can it be too mean for a Worm to do that which a Man a great Man and a mighty Prince hath done Shall vile sinners think themselves abased and dishonoured by doing that which was done before by him who knew no sin and in whose Mouth there was found no guile who was holy harmless and undefiled separate from sinners and made higher than the Heavens Heb. 7.26 As our Blessed Lord was a great and noble Pattern to us in other things so particularly in his love to his Parents When he was upon the Cross a little before he gave up the Ghost he expressed how great his love was to his Mother and how tender a care he had of her John 19.25 26 27. Now there stood by the Cross of Jesus his Mother and his Mothers Sister Mary the Wife of Cleophas and Mary Magdalene When Jesus therefore saw his Mother and the Disciple standing by whom he loved he saith unto his Mother Woman behold thy Son Then saith he to the Disciple behold thy Mother And from that hour that Disciple took her unto his own home He commends his Mother to John Joseph in all probability being dead that he might take care of her as of his own Mother Tho' he was at this time in the midst of great pain and anguish tho' his hands and his feet were nailed to the Cross tho' his head was Crowned with Thorns tho' he lay under the most insupportable Burden that ever Man lay under yet as if the sight of his Mother had made him forget all his Sufferings and Torments he affectionately recommends her to the Care of another who he knew would perform all the Offices of
their Parents or if what they say hath not the designed effect then they may recommend this charitable office to the care of some other body who is a wise and kind a pious and serious Friend who may have some more influence than themselves towards the reclaiming their Parents This is the greatest expression of true kindness honour and respect to them when their Children sincerely endeavour in the discreetest manner to be the happy instruments of their Conversion and Reformation of turning them from Satan unto God This is to be in some sort the Fathers in Christ to those who are their Parents by Nature O how happy are the Parents of such worthy Children How may they rejoyce and bless God who hath bestowed on them so great a Blessing If Children are thus obliged to honour their Parents Against those who dishonour their Parents what shall be said of those who dishonour despise and slight them all that ever they can who undervalue them in their thoughts who speak of them with great contempt and disdain who speak to them with great insolence who mock and scorn them who laugh at them and make mouths at them and point at them with the finger who reproach and revile them who break indecent jests upon them who make them the objects of their sport and pastime who take pleasure in publishing their weaknesses and indiscretions that others also may laugh at them and despise them How dreadful and terrible are the Curses and Judgments which God hath in store against such wretched Children Prov. 30.17 The eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother the Ravens of the vallies shall pick it out and the young Eagles shall eat it That is he who is a mocker and scorner of his Parents who despises and slights them shall die a shameful death and remain unburied and shall be exposed to the birds and beasts of prey to be eaten of them It does not follow from hence that all perverse wretched Children come to such a shameful and untimely end Only it shews what oft-times happeneth and is very usual to wit that such mockers and despisers of Parents are punished remarkably by the Justice of God in this World and are made Examples to all others who will open their eyes to consider the hand of God against such ungodly Children As for Instances of the Divine Justice against Mockers of Parents all Ages and Countries are full of them C ham was made an Example of this Gen. 9.22 24 25. And C ham the father of Canaan saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brethren without And Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his younger son had done unto him And he said Cursed be Canaan a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren In which words tho' Canaan the Son of Cham is only mentioned yet Cham is not exempted from the Curse his punishment is hereby made so much the greater because he is not only pronounced accursed in his own person which is necessarily to be supposed he having committed the sin which caused the Curse but also in his Posterity which could not but increase mightily his grief and make his punishment lye more heavy upon him 2. Duty to obey their Parents Secondly Children are to obey their Parents to do what they bid them See this in the Example of Joseph when Jacob sent him to his Brethren Gen. 37.13 14. And Israel said unto Joseph Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem Come and I will send thee unto them And he said to him Here am I. And he said to him Go I pray thee see whether it be well with thy brethren and well with the flocks and bring me word again so he sent him out of the vale of Hebron and he came to Shechem The Commands of Parents are either about the same things which God hath commanded or they are about things indifferent or about things unlawful If they are about the same things which God hath commanded they are so much the more to be obeyed as being the will and pleasure both of their Father in Heaven and of their earthly Parents In this case the obligation to obedience is double Secondly If their Parents Commands are about things indifferent that is which are neither commanded nor forbidden by God Children are likewise to obey them God hath made it their Duty so to do Col. 3.20 Children obey your Parents in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. This obedience is very acceptable to him he takes great pleasure and delight in it to see those obeyed and submitted to whom he hath appointed to be as it were in his own stead whom he hath cloathed with some beams of Divine Power whom with relation to their Children he hath made in some sense sacred persons whose Will ought to be a Law unto them tho' only in the Lord. For Thirdly if the thing commanded be plainly unlawful they are to refuse complacence therewith because they are bound to obey God rather than man rather than Father or Mother rather than all the World Their obligations to God are much greater than to their Parents he is the Maker both of them and of their Parents they live by his Bounty the Earth they tread on is his the Air they breathe in the Heavens that cover them the food they eat the water they drink the garments that cloath them and all other things which they enjoy for their benefit and comfort in the World are the Lord's He is their great Master who appoints them their business in the World and assures them of a reward he also will reckon with them and either reward or punish them according to their works and therefore his Commands are to be preferred to those of all others But even in this case Children are to express in their very denial and refusal of obedience all that Honour and Respect to their Parents that 's possible that they may see it is not stubbornness but the fear of God which makes them disobey By this means Parents may perhaps be convinced and made sensible of their sin and prevailed with to shun those evil things which they see their very Children do so much hate and abhor and wherein they refuse to obey Against stubborn and disobedient Children If Children are thus bound by the Laws of Heaven to obey their Parents what shall be said of those who make no account of their Parents Commands but set at naught all their Admonitions and Counsels who will not follow their Directions and be governed by them for their own good but do follow their own humor fancy and the examples and customs of others like themselves What a sad mark is this of approaching ruine and of heavy Judgments which hang over the heads of such ungodly Children as you may see in the Sons of Ely 1 Sam. 2.25 of whom it is said that they hearkened not unto