out all the land every man's sword is against his brother the Lord pleadeth against us with blood vers 22 vers 18 and with fire and with brimstone His fury is upon his face vers 19 and a great shaking is in our land The covers of our souldiers are iron their weopons are iron and their hearts are allso iron so hard are their hearts that they kill without remorse and they pillage and plunder without pitty or commiseration The baggs that swelled with unjust gaine and moneys purchased by extortion fraud now wonder at their owne emptinesse and in their shrivell'd and pursed cheekes seeme to mourne for their falling away Eccles 5.16 This is a sore evill that in all points as the deceaver came so shall hee goe and what profit hath hee that hath laboured for the wind The plunderers suck downe his swollen purse and leave nothing but a be and naked skinne and by a new law of gaâ—… they teach by the way of violence how toâ— in an hower as much as hee in his age câ—…scrape up by falshood And when hee looker with an heavy and wish-full eye upon his departing moneys never to be re-called â— deepe sigh tell 's him 't is well that some meâ—nes are found to awaken his conscience So hee spends his drooping dayes in wishing that hee were as innocent as many that are 〈◊〉 poore and it may be that by the losse of his coyne hee gaines some religion Those againe whose honest care and thriftie labours had beene so blessed that their moneys had increased yea even by diminishing and had multiplied for their charity finding now the uncertainty of what the world falsely account's a treasure part with their money with as deepe but not a coveteous sigh anâ— that out of a consideration that the emptinesse of their coffers will be burdensome one day to their new but fellonious possessours They grieve that rapine should be more powerfull then innocency yet content themselves with the certaine assurance of treasures in heaven The surly robber in the interim with a crustie conscience rejoyceth at the purchase of his owne destruction and to shew that hee hath as litle care of his issue as he hath of his soule consume's in riott what his children may beg for The lowest spoake is now come to be the highest in the wheele and that which was the uppermost is turned to the ground The â—rich are become poore and those who formerly were of a low esteeme now pride it in the feathers of other birds Solomons observations is come to passe in our dayes Eccles 10.6 vers 7. the rich sit in low place yea and wee see servants upon horses and princes walking as servants upon the earth Ier 12.12 The spoilers are come upon all high places for the sword of the Lord doth devoure from the one end of the land even to the other end of the land noe flesh hath peace Wee sowe wheate vers 13 but wee reape thornes wee put our selves to paine but noe profit come's of it and wee are even ashamed of our revenues because of the fierce anger of the Lord. Our bloody victories are mixed both with joy and sorrow for even our very conquests tryumphs are mournfull The more wee slay the fewer kindred and friends and acquaintance are left us and much of that blood which wee draw from others is part of that which runneth in our owne veines Iacob and Esau brethren of the same wombe contend for the birth-right and many a man strive's to supplant to surprise to destroy his kinsman his brother yea and his owne father Our tongues are become prisoners and are kept close under the roofes of our mouths and within the grates of our teeth yea and that in the compaâ—… them who are or should be deerest unto and all for feare of trecherie and discover The prudent are enforced to keepe silence because is an evill time Amos. 13. Mic 8.5 Wee dare not trust a friend 〈◊〉 put confidence in a guide wee keepe 〈◊〉 doores of our mouths from them that lies our bosomes vers 6. The sonne dishonoureth the fathâ—… the daughter riseth up against her mother and the daughter in law against her mother in law Brother delivereth up brother to death Mat 10 21. and the father the child and the children rise up against their parents and cause them to be put to death Five in one house are divided Luc 12 52. vers 53 three against two and two against three The father is divided against the Sonne and the sonne against the father the mother against the daughter aâ— the daughter against the mother the mothâ—… in law against the daughter in law and the daughter in law against her mother in law and a man's foes are those of his owne household Mat. 10 36. Mal. 4.6 The Lord God of heaven amend these wicked times and turne the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers Ps 69.22 Is 29.21 Ier 48.43 vers 44 Our very tables become snares before us and that which should have beene for our well-fare is become a trap A man is made an offender for a word and a snare is layd for him that reproveth in the gate Feare and the pit and the snare are upon us hee that fleeth from the feare falleth into the pit and â—…e that getteth up out of the pit is taken in the â—…are the yeeres of our visitation are upon 〈◊〉 The spoiler is come upon every city vers 8. and noe â—…ty escaped the vallies allso perish and the â—aines are destroyed c 15.7 The Lord doeth fanne 〈◊〉 with a fanne in the gates of our land hee â—…th bereave us of our children hee doth destroy â—s people because wee returne not from our wayes Our widowes are increased to us above the sand â—f the seas vers 8. the Spoyler at noone day is brought â—pon us Shee that hath borne seaven languisheth vers 9. â—hee hath given up the ghost her sunne is gone downe while it was yet day and the residue of â—…s are delivered to the sword before our enemies c 6.26 O that wee would gird our selves with sackcloth and wallow our selves in ashes and make our selves mourning as for an onely sonne most bitter lamentation for the spoiler suddenly cometh upon us Isa 21.2 Ier 48.10 The treacherous dealer dealeth treacherously and the spoiler spoileth Yea and the word is given out among us Cursed be hee that keepeth back his sword from blood and yet few of us doe consider that the Lord God of recompences shall surely requite c 51.56 Amos. 5.18 Woe unto them that desired this day of the Lord. To what end is it for them Alasse the day of the Lord is darknesse and not light vers 19 As if a man did flee from a lion and a beare mett him in the way or went into the house
A FOUNTAINE OF TEARES Emptying it selfe into three Rivelets viz of 1 Compunction 2 Compassion 3 Devotion Or Sobs of nature sanctified by grace Languaged in severall Soliloquies and Prayers upon various Subjects for the benefit of all that are in affliction and particularly in these distressed times of warre By Iohn Featley Chaplaine to his Majesty sometimes preacher in the Island St. Christophers Ier 9.1 O that mine head were waters and mine eyes a Fountaines of teares that I might weepe day and night for the slaine of the daughter of my people AMSTERDAM Printed for IOHN CROSSE English Bookseller iâ— the Calver-streete neâ—re the English Church 1646. To the ROYALL MAJESTY of Our DREAD SOVERAIGNE CHARLES By the grace of God KING of GREAT BRITTAIGNE FRANCE YRELAND c. And To the RIGHT HONOURABLE the LORDS and COMMONS assembled in PARLIAMENT the unworthy Author humbly dedicateth these his weake Indeavours To the Reader Christian THou art here invited to thy punishment yet such as is intended for thy profit Blame mee not for the former lest thou partakest not of the latter Noe chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous but grievous Heb 12 11. never-the-lesse afterward it yeeldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse unto them which are exercised thereby I have laboured to accompanie thee in all thy sadnesse Cant. 2 5. therein to Stay thee with flagons yea with flagons full of that re-viving wine which cometh from the true Vine Io 15.1 Prov. 〈◊〉 25.11 and to comfort thee with apples even with words fitly spoken which according to King Solomon are like apples of gold in pictures of silver True it is that in this litle booke as in the roll of the booke sent to Ezekiel are written Lamentations and Mourning and Woe Eze 2.9 but it is not my fault All these words seemed to be pronounced unto mee by the mourners in Zion Ier. 3â— 18. I wrote them with inke in the booke So long as wee are sinfull we must be sorrowfull I have but languaged thy sighes and lent a tongue to thy Sobs if thou art such as I ayme at endeavoured to rectifie thy Teares Thou art here entertained at David's Ordinarie Ps 42.3 His teares were his meate day and night I hope thou wilt not thinke that I dishonour thee when I seate thee with a King I was first invited to this taske by the moanes of a gracious and vertuous gentle-woman Mris Elizabeth Keate wife of Mr. Gilbert Keate a grave and eminent Citizen of London who much complained that her sexe was so much neglected by Divines that they had not penned devotions for all their severall sufferances that are common to many onely here and there shee found a few small gleanings proper for some occasions of griefe It is about five yeeres since I tooke her complaint to be a kind of command and setled my selfe to the worke yet although I hastened it with what speede I could considering my constant course of preaching the same day that I finished my booke 2. Tim. â— 7 shee finished her course Noe sooner had I ended mourning out this Fountaine of Teares in my study then I was sent for to her sad house of mourning where having given her a rellish of many of these Soliloquies and Prayers especially of those which are fitted for the dying she thanked mee for them as long as she lived for even after that her tongue was insnared in the jawes of death what she could not by language she expressed by signes From her father she brought a name with her into the world which could not choose but put her in mind of the power of the All-mighty Braâ—fort or Armestrong an ancient noble familie in Nottinghamshire in which Countle her worthy father did live at Rem stone 1. Cor. 15.25 1. Pet 3.7 1. Kiâ— 18 who in Psal 89.10 is said to have scattered his enemies with his Strong-Arme by the same power which the most-high vouchsafed her she overcame the last enemie which was to be destroyed For her deere sake these Soliloquies and Prayers were fitted for Females and taught to speake in the persons of the Weaker vessells I hope noe Man will blame mee for it for it is but changing the gender according to the sexe and the booke may be usefull unto both When first I began to penne it there arose but a litle cloud like a man's hand this Devout mourner then grieving chiefly out of jealousie that either her Teares were not enough for her sinns or not seasoned enough with the sanctifying grace of the blessed Spirit Then her Heart was complained of next her lost time was bemoaned But afterward by degrees the whole heaven was black with clouds and wind her eyes were full laden with teares vers 45 and her heart with sighes there was a greate raine For her house was visited with the pestilence and shut up by her owne appointment One of her sweete and tender children and a gracious Matron Cosyn unto her dyed of that uncomfortable disease And her weake selfe all this while was moulting and crumbling away in a Consumption At length upon her white thinn and sinking cheekes the characters of her teares which were firme evidences of her unfeigned repentance not being fully drie a litle dust was throwne upon them and then she was layed up in the Cabinet of her grave To that worke then finished I have added nothing but those teares which are shed in these distracted times of an Vnnaturall Warre and I hope that addition will not be unfruitfull I am sure and I grieve not a litle that I am so sure it is not unseasonable For mine owne part I have not beene without my portion of sufferances in these stormy times Num. 27.14 Ps 106 32. Ex 15.23 Ps 104 3. and drinking a deep draught of these waters of Meribah these waters of strife by my tast they rellish like the waters of Marah I could here call to mind how upon the wings of the wind fleeing from one danger I have beene involved in thousands The boisterous and churlish swelling of a rough and troublesome Severne full of un-expected turnings and windings carrying us farre to sea was the cause of embalning two of my deere children in the salt ocean was like to have proved the ruine of fower more of them besides the beloved wife of my bosome but it pleased God at last that all except those two came safe to land Ps 74.20 The darke remote places of the earth which are full of the habitations of cruelty entertained mee with vexatious troubles and pining sicknesse In mine absence from my divided countrie one of the brightest burning and shining lights of our Church went out in a dampe D.D.F. A man deere to mee not onely because an uncle by allyance but allso because my chiefest and safest Oracle among men whilest he lived and a friend Deut 13. which
seldome is love forgotten in the mother of children Cant. 3 6. in whom it is commonly as strong as death vers 7. for many waters cannot quench it neither can the floods drowne it Much therfore I cannot blame the wife of Zebedeus for the fervency of her affection to her beloved Sonnes All that shee erred in was both in the thing shee requested and in the person to whom shee tendered her petition Surely without offence I may likewise besiech my mercifull Saviour that hee will be pleased to undertake the protection of my young ones It is a petition more proper for mee then her's was for her for shee was living and might have beene a comfort unto them but I am dying I am leaving the world I lye drawingon and wayting for that blessed hower of my Saviours comeing All that is left mee now to doe is onely to blesse them before my departure and this is the best legacie that I can bequeath unto them I must I will blesse them by the leave and favour of my God yet not as from my selfe but onely from God not as thinking that my power can purchase their happinesse but praying to him that his blessing may prosper them Thus by faith did dying Iacob blesse both the Sonnes of Ioseph Heb. 11 21. and worshipped leaning upon the top of his staffe Thus old Isaak said unto Esau his Sonne Gen. 27 2. vers 3. Behold now I am old I know not the day of my death now therfore take I pray thee thy we opons thy quiver and thy bowe and goe out to the field and take mee some venison vers 4. and make mee savourie meate such as I love and bring it to mee that I may eate that my soule may blesse thee before I dye Thus Isaak blessed Iacob and said c 28.3 God All-mighty blesse thee and make thee fruitfull and multiplie thee that thou mayest be a multitude of people c. 49.28 Thus Iacob blessed the twelve tribes when hee spake unto them and blessed them every one according to his blessing hee blessed them c 31.55 Thus Laban even in the time of his health rose up early in the morning and kissed his Sonnes and his daughters and blessed them and then departed and returned to his place Yea thus even Moses who was but a leader of the people and not so neerely linked unto them by the bonds of nature blessed them and sayd Deut. 1 11. The Lord God of your fathers make you a thousand times so many more as yee are and blessed you as hee hath promised you Thus the same Moses againe drawing neere to the time of his leaving the world c. 33.1 with his blessing did blesse the children of Israel before his death Thus when the dayes of David drew neere that hee should dye 1. King 2.1 hee gave a charge and a blessing to his beloved Sonne Solomon And noe marveile since it is most true that hee whom God blesseth is blessed Num 22.6 and hee whom hee curseth is cursed The blessing of a parent is nothing but a prayer to the giver of good things Iam. 1.17 that hee may be pleased to send his blessing on their issue Mee thinks therfore the words of Samuel which hee sayd unto the people doe take a deepe impression in my breast 1. Sam. 12.23 for hee sayd God forbid that I should sinne against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you With leave then of my God I will see my children and I will kisse them as Laban did his and I will likewise blesse them The Lord direct mee in my prayers for them and the Lord accept my prayers grant my requests which I shall make unto him for them part 2 The Second part being the benediction or blessing it selfe ending in a prayer MY deerest children yee whom I love in the tender yerning bowells of affection draw neere and attend to the words of your dying mother A weake woman yee see I am but yet sinfull I am which peradventure yee see not O weepe not my prettie ones doe not pierce and breake my troubled heart with your sad laments I must dye my litle ones and goe to a better place whither yee I hope shall one day follow mee Wee came not together into the world nor shall wee goe together out of it In vaine doe yee shed those teares of sorrow for allthough nature teacheth you to bewayle my departure yet grace will teach you to moderate your mourning My heart even bleede's to leave you behind mee fearing lest yee will forget the commandements of your God I should be sorrie to have just cause to say unto you as Moses did to the Levites yet I will put you in mind of his words Deut. 31.27 Behold sayd hee while I am yet alive with you this day yee have beene rebellious against the Lord vers 29 how much more after my death I know that after my death yee will utterly corrupt your selves and turne aside from the way which I commanded you and evill will befall you in the latter dayes because yee will doe evill in the sight of the Lord Heb. 6.9 to provoke him to anger through the worke of your hands But I am perswaded better things of you and things that accompanie salvation though I thus speake O my deare ones hearken unto the words which I shall say They must be my legacie unto you heare mee with patience and treasure up in your memories the last speech of your fainting your dying mother How deare yee cost mee before yee had life and what pangs and torments I suffered for you before yee were heard or seene in the world yee cannot imagine nor I expresse Yet all was forgotten for joy that yee were borne Ioa 16.21 and hoping that yee would adde unto the quire of Saints To this purpose I have laboured and taken care for the nourishment both of your soules bodies and for your sustentation so much as in mee lay from the breast to this instant O what sad and perplexed thoughts have I had for you in the day times and how many howers have I borrowed from my sleepe in the nights to thinke what would become of you if yee should not be obedient to the commandements of my God! To the same God they are best knowne O how often upon my knees have I prayed for your happinesse and wept and mourned when yee have done what yee ought not To him is it best knowne to whom I now am goeing Sometimes when yee have offended I was enforced to correct you but each stripe which yee receaved did cut mee into the heart In many things yee failed because yee were young and in many things I failed too because I am a weake and a sinfull woman If at any time yee thought that I did not my duety take heede that hereafter yee remember it not to my dishonour Ponder in your
was as mine owne soule the sad losse of whom still doeth and still will sitt cold heavy upon my wounded heart Some comfort indeede I have in that sweete odour he left behind him from whence every Christian may receave an Aromatick perfume of learned profit and content yea even those who too unkindly were the cause of putting salt water upon that sweete waxe whereby the Tapour was extinguished To these losses afflictions I might adde many many more beside my present condition among strangers and forrainers and my continuall heart-quakes at the strickt menaces of the ruine and Desolation of my poore bleeding gasping countrie Yet while there is life there is hope even that hee who hath made our land to tremble Ps 60.2 and hath broaken it will in his owne due time heale the breaches thereof for it shaketh In this Manuall thou shalt find noe Author quoted but the Best of all and noe language but English The whole booke is in thy mother tongue and all the proofes excepting a very few are Scripture Luc 23 â—8 The weeping daughters of Ierusalem love best to be comforted in the language of Canaan Is 19.18 Here I â—ould an Ewer nay a Fountaine of â—ater to those that neede it for the reâ—eshing of their soules yet I hinder â—…ne from turning their owne Cocks â—…d letting them runne If any conâ—emne the worke as needlesse in these rightest times for so they are â—ought to be set formes of prayers beâ—…g by many dashed quite out of counâ—mance let them know that these are â—…t intended for them but for those â—ho doe neede and will use them I â—nfine not any to these Formes nor â—e I deny them to any who shall wilâ—ngly accept them In them thou hast â—e helpeâ— â—f many choice places of â—cripture 〈◊〉 for thy severall occasiâ—…s which â—eradventure otherwise would not be so ready at hand when â—ou shouldest stand in neede of them Whatsoever throughout the whole â—ooke thou findest good know that 〈◊〉 is Gods now made thine as well as mine blesse him for it What thou â—ndest here amisse except the faults of the presse I confesse it mine yet â—either wittingly nor willingly is it mine howsoever charge it to mine account Doe thou friendly reckon with mee and I will thankfully satisfie thee and be sure to remember that as it is thy duety to be thankfull for the best so thou oughtest to be charitable in thy censure of the rest Consider what I say 2. Tim. 2.7 and the Lord give thee understanding in all things Thy servant in him Phil 2.7 who tooke upon him the forme of a servant for us IOHN FEATLEY From my house in Flushing April 17. 1646. A Table of the particular contents THe First subject Teares of Godly sorrow or devout Melancholy wherein a flexible disposition apt to weepe employeth those Teares in a Sorrow for sin The Soliloquie p. 1 The Prayer p. 7 Teares from the Heart The Soliloquie confistnig of 3 parts viz 1 The wickednesse of a corrupted heart p. 11 2 Alamentation for the losse of an honest heart p. 23 3 Griefe for an old and sinfull heart and an earnest desire of a righteous new one p. 35 The Prayer p. 45 Teares of Time The Soliloquie consisting of 3 parts viz 1 A Revieuw of the time past p. 48 2 A Consideration of the time present p. 64 3 A Resolution for the time to come p. 75 The Prayer p. 83 Teares in the night The Soliloquie Devided into 3 parts fitted for the time 1 Immediately before going to bed p. 85 Evening Prayer p. 98 2 Of lying downe in the bed p. 100 3 Of awaking in the night p. 111 Teares in the Day Devided into 3 parts and fitted for the time 1 Of awakng early in the morning p. 123 2 Of beeing newly risen p 136 The morning Prayer p. 146 3 Of preparing to goe to dinner p. 149 Teares of Compassion in time of prosperity The Soliloquie treating of earthly riches and the rewarâ— of Charity p. 161 The Prayer p. 18â— 7 Teares in time of adversity in 4 Soliloquies treating of 1 A decayed estate or plenty turned into poverty p. 18â— 2 The prayer p. 204. 2. Hunger both corporall spâ—rituall p. 208 The prayer p. 23â— 3 Thirst both bodily and ghostly p. 23â— The Prayer p. 24â— 4 Nakednesse both of the Outward and Inwarâ— man p. 249 The Prayer p. 260 8 A Virgin 's Teares The Soliloquie p. 26â— The Prayer p. 27â— 9 Teares of a Married woman Soliloquie treating of thâ— dutyes of a wife to her husband p. 275 the prayer p. 29â— 10 Teares of an Aged woman p. 293 The prayer p. 307 11 Teares of a Barren woman p. 311 The prayer p. 321 12 Teares of a Childbearing woman 1 At the time when thee beginneth to fall in travell 2 After her delivery The soliloquie consisting of 3 parts 1 The Cause of the forrow and the confidence of thâ— sorrowing p. 324 2 The greatenesse of the pangs hazards and feares of a Travelling woman p. 332 3 Consolation and comfort for a woman in the bitternesse of her Travell p. 340 The prayer p. 343 2 Teares of a woman after her delivery from the paines of childbearing p. 346 The Prayer p. 351 13 Teares in time of Pestilence The Soliloquy consesting of 6 severall parts treating of 1 Mourning by example in a publick calamity p. 354 2 Severall causes of gods visitations p. 368 3 Sin especially the cause of the pestilence p. 381 4 Severall examples of dreadfull Pestilences p. 388 5 Gods threatning before his visitation p. 395 6 The duty of a Christian decreeing to whome and for whome wee ought to pray in time of Pestilence p. 403 The Prayer p. 413 â—4 Teares of her whose house is shutt up for the Pestilence The Soliloquy p. 420 The Prayer p. 431 â—5 Teares of her who is visited with the Pestilence beeing 1 Either wounded with a Sore p. 437 2 Or marked with the tokens p. 445 The prayer p. 455 â—6 Teares of a Mother for the sicknesse of her child the Soliloquie p. 461 The Prayer p. 469 â—7 Teares of a Mother for the death of her child The Soliloquie p. 473 The Prayer p. 480 â—8 Teares of a Wife for the sicknesse of her husband The Soliloquie p. 484 The Prayer p. 492 â—9 Teares of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband the Soliloquie p. 495 the prayer p. 506 â—0 A woman's Teares at the Funerall of her husband the Soliloquie p. 510 The Prayer p. 528 â—1 Teares of a woman in the state of Widdow-hood the Soliloquie p. 531 The Prayer p. 543 â—2 Teares of an Orphan at the death of her father The Soliloquie p. 545 The Prayer p. 561 â—3 Teares for the death of a beloved Freind or Brother The Soliloquie p. 563 the Prayer p. 573 â—4 Teares in a Cousumption or any languishing sicknesse the Soliloquie consisting of 3 parts 1 a complaint and
the peacâ— of thy chosen that I may rest in thee Let mâ— sleepe be like that of the Church that my heaâ—… may allways awake unto thee Cant 5 2. If this nightâ— this sleepe shall be my last Lord make it my best that I may awake in thine armes and live in thy bosome Ps 4.8 Let mee lay mee do wâ—… in peace and sleepe and doe thou Lord makâ— mee dwell in safety So be it ô my father for the merits and worthinesse of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen part 2 The second part Of the Soliloquie Fitted for the time of lying downe in the bed THe advice of David to his enemies I take mee think's as spoken to my selfe where hee bid's them to Stand in awe Ps 4.4 and sinne not to commune with their owne hearts upon their beds and be still It is fitt that I likewise say my request with my mouth and my petition with my heart and pray upon my bed remember the day of death for ever I have meditated upon the Evening I have prayed for â—otection and since that I have disrobed â—…y selfe of the garments of the day But â—ith them have I put off mine offences 〈◊〉 doe not I intend to put them on againe 〈◊〉 morrow with the apparell of my body â—o this I am apt by nature from this ô my â—od deliver mee by thy grace My clothes â—e layed by and even now mee thought 〈◊〉 could skarce hasten soone enough to hide â—ee in my bed from mine owne sight of â—ine owne nakednesse Lord what a fearefull â—ing is a guiltie conscience which made Adam and Eve to see that they were naked Gen. 3.7 â—…d guilty of their folly and yet to make â—t figge-leav'd aprons to hide their shame â—hus doe I blush at my selfe and yet I have â—ely those figge leaves to hide my sinnes from â—e view of the world vers 8. But Adam and Eve â—…d themselves allso even from the presence of â—e Lord God So doe I endeavour likewise â—hen I am afraid to consider of or unwilling 〈◊〉 confesse unto him my manifold transgresâ—…ons My garments are off the emblems â—oth of my pride and my poverty for the â—ormer is discovered in the richnesse of my â—…bes and the latter in the necessity of them Thus doe wee simple sinners weare the very â—…wells of the wormes and the fleeces of the â—…nocent beastes in the time of the day for â—…odestie for heate and for ornament and in the night wee lye downe in the feathers of the fowles for our ease and our delight Here now I am layed here I am stretched out as if I were created onely for ease and repose But ô my drowzie eyes watch yee a litle and yee my thoughts ponder awhile upon the place where I am layed Such a bed as this hath beene a place of torment Ex 8.3 as well as ease when the river brought forth froggs aboundantly among the Egyptians which went up and came into their houses and into their bed-chambers yea and upon their very beds Lord how it make's mee startle but to name those loathsome creatures and yet these were they which were the Egyptians chamber-fellowes these were their cold and noysome bed-fellowes Even thus have I deserved to be plagued too as were those Egyptians for how often hath God by his Moses and his Aaron by his officers and his ministers commanded mee to let my Israel my soule goe serve the Lord and yet like hard hearted Pharaoh I have still refused But have I not a punishment for my rebellion worse then they had For they had but the loathsome vermine to torment their bodies but I have worse I have my ugly sinnes to torment my conscience which croake so in my bosome that I know not where to free my selfe from their hideous noise But since these froggs have lived in the waters and bred in the waters which became blood through the deepe dye of my hainous offences I will therfore doe as once Elisha the Prophet did by the waters of Iericho 2. King 2.21 Ps 38.18 Ex 12.31 vers 32 I will cast salt into the waters and heale them I will confesse my wickednesses and be sorrie for my sinnes I will dispatch mine Israelitesse and shee shall goe and serve the Lord her flocks allso and her heards my thoughts and my meditations shall goe and serve my God that they may blesse mee allso Then shall these crawling sinnes dye out of this house of my heart Ex 8.13.14 and I will gather them up together on heapes and drowne them in my teares because they have made such a stinke in the nostrills of my God Such a bed as this hath beene the grave such sheetes the winding sheetes of diverse persons who dreamed not of it 2. Sam. 4.7 When Ishbosheth lay on his bed in his bed-chamber the wicked trecherous Rechab and Baanah smote him and slew him and beheaded him 2. Chr 24.25 Ps 89.19 So did Zabad Iehozabad slay Ioash on his bed and hee dyed So it may happen unto mee too unlesse the Lord be my defender and the holy one of Israel my protectour Solomon hath forbid the companie of such Rechabs and Baanahs such Zabads and Ichozabads saying Prov. 4.14 vers 16 Enter not into the path of the wicked and goe not in the way of evill men For thy sleepe not except they have done misâ—hiefe and their sleepe is taken away unlesse they cause some to fall Yet I have entertained such in my society yea I have enticed them and hired them to the destruction even of my selfe My sinnes oh my sinnes are the murderers that are come unto my bed and without the mercy of him who destroyed death will bring mee 2. Pet. 2 3. even mee to destruction my damnation shall not slumber Such a bed as this 2. Sam. 13.5 hath beene the bed of incest when Amnon by the advice of Ionadab lay downe on his bed and made himselfe sicke that his sister Tamar might be sent unto him by his tender and compassionate father O what hellish plotts were invented for the satisfaction of the lust-sick adulterer Hee was but to counterfeit a sicknes who yet was wounded at the heart and shee who both by obedience to her father and love to her brother was ready to dresse the dish hee required was overcome at length by the scorching flames of his incestuous furie Heb. 13 4. That bed which is honourable in the state of mariage yet not unlesse it be kept undefiled was made the torment of a sister un wedded and hee who could not enjoy her by the rules of religion forced her to his appetite by the violence of his hands But as the act was fowle so the effect was revengfull yea and even the innocent suffered for the villanie of the rasisher in so much as Amnon hated her exceedingly 2. Sam. 13.15 so that
of forgetfullnesse I should never have knowne the benefit of fullnesse if I had not learned it by an empty bellie I will therfore begge of him a blessing to this crosse that the more I want of out-ward blessings the more eagerly I may sieke for inward content I will resolve Hab. 3.17 with the Prophet that Allthough the figg-tree shall not blossome neither fruit be in the vines though the labour of the Olive shall faile and the fields shall yeeld mee noe meate though the flocks shall be cutt off from the foald vers 18 there shall be noe heard in the stalls Yet I will rejoyce in the Lord I will joy in the God of my salvation Rom. 8 35. Neither tribulation nor distresse nor persecution cutt nor famine nor nakednesse nor sword shall ever seperate mee from the love of Christ I know that hee which can send provisions without content can likewise feede mee when I least expect it Hag. 1.6 Yee have sowed much saith the Prophet and bring in litle yee eate but yee have not enough yee drinke but yee are not filled with drinke yee cloath you but there is none warme and hee that earneth wages earneth wages to putt in a bagge with holes The curse is as greate to eate without satisfaction as to want what wee desire I know that God oftentimes hath sent a famine that so his people might the more depend upon him So hath his goodnesse many times appeared Gen 42 5. when men had least expectation of supplies True it is that when the famine was sore in the land of Canaan the Sonnes of Israel bought corne in Egypt Men have ever vallewed their bellies above their estates In the Egyptian famine Ioseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh the King c 47.20 for the Egyptians sould every man his field because the famine prevailed over them so the land became Pharaoh's When Esau was faint comeing out of the field and Iacob refused him a messe of pottage under the price of his birth-right c 25.32 vers 33 hee said Behold I am at the point to die and what profit shall this birth right doe to mee So hee sould his birth-right unto Iacob The Prophet lamenting the people of Ierusalem Lam 1.11 say's All her people sigh they seeke bread they have given their pleasant things for meate to relieve the soule All these have beene furnished by ordinarie meanes but I allso reade that God hath provided when men could least expect 1. King 17.10 vers 12 or helpe When the widdow of Zarephath had nothing left but a poore handfull of meale in a barrell and a litle oyle in a cruse and went out to gather two sticks that shee might goe in and dresse it for her and her sonne that they might eate it and dye even then shee receaved comfort from the Prophet Elijah vers 16 for her harrell of meale wasted not neither did the cruse of oyle faile as the Lord had spoken by the mouth of the Prophet When the selfesame Prophet by the command of God dwelt by the brooke Cherith that is before Iordan even before the increase of the meale vers 5. and the oyle was miraculously effected in a wonderfull manner hee was fed by the Ravens vers 6. for they brought him bread and flesh in the morning and bread and flesh in the evening and hee dranke of the brooke Againe when the same Elijah fled to Beersheba upon the threats of Iezebel c 19.4 hee went a daye 's journie into the wildernesse and came and sate under a Iuniper tree and hee requested for himselfe that hee might dye and said It is enough now ô Lord take away my life for I am not better then my fathers vers 5. Yet as hee lay and slept under the Iuniper tree behold there an Angel touched him and said unto him Arise vers 6. and eate And when hee looked and behold there was a cake baked on the coales and a cruse of water at his head hee did eate and drinke and layd him downe againe vers 7. And the Angel of the Lord came againe the second time and touched him and said Arise and eate vers 8. And bee arose againe the second time and did eate and went in the strength of the meate fourtie dayes Gen 21 14. When Abraham rose up early in the morning and tooke bread and a botle of water and gave it unto Hagar putting it on her shoulder and the child Ismaël and sent her away and shee departed and wandered in the wildernesse of Beersheba after a while the water was spent in the botle vers 15 and shee poore soule vers 16 cast the child under one of the shrubbs And shee went and sate her downe over against him a good way off as it were a bow shoote for shee said Let mee not see the death of the child And shee sate over against him vers 17 and lift up her voyce and wept Yet even then God heard the voyce of the lad and the Angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven and said unto her What ayleth thee Hagar Feare not for God hath heard the voyce of the lad where hee is Arise vers 18. lift up the lad and hold him in thine hand vers 19 for I will make of him a greate nation And God opened her eyes and shee saw a well of water and shee went and filled the botle with water and gave the lad drinke Thus my God if hee please can doe for mee too for I cry and I weepe with distressed Hagar not for drinke Ps 145 19. but bread Who knoweth but the Lord may heare my cry and may helpe mee The birds that nest in the Cedars of Lebanon the goates on the hills and the conies in the rocks the beastes of the forrests and the roaring Lyons the creeping things in the greate and wide sea and the Leviathan which is made to play in the waters Ps 104 27. These all wayte upon him Iob. 38.41 Ps 145.15 that hee may give them their meate in due season Hee provideth for the Raven his foode when his young ones cry unto God they wander for lack of meate The eyes of all wayte upon him and hee giveth them their meate in due season vers 16 Hee openeth his hand and satisfieth the desire of every living thing Why then should I vexe and torment my selfe in this time of want as if either the Lord were ignorant of my calamitie or else were unable or unwilling to helpe mee I resolve with my selfe that though the conflict bee greate betweene my selfe and my appetite though my stomack cry and my belly complaine though leanenesse possesseth my cheekes and palenesse setteth up it's rest in my countenance though feeblnesse stealeth upon my joynts and faintnesse on my spirits yet will I not leave my confidence in my God I shall not the sooner
am cloathed indeede Zech 3 3. but it is with ragges and filthy garments as bad or worse then was Ioshua when once hee stood before the Angel Such an Angel I want vers 4. as was hee who spake unto them that were before him and said Take away the filthy garments from him The cause of my shame is sinne the cause of my poverty is mine iniquity O that the Angell of the covenant would say unto mee Behold I have caused thine iniquity to passe from thee and I will cloath thee with change of raiment Mee think's I looke like the counterfeiting Gibeonites when by craft they obtained a league with Ioshua Ios 9.4 for they tooke old sacks upon their asses and wine bottells old and rent and bound up vers 5. And old shooes and clowted upon their feete and old garments upon them and all the bread of their provision was drie and mouldie Ierusalem's curse is fallen upon mee as God threatned her so am I punished Eze 16 39. I will give thee saith the Lord into thine enemies hand and they shall throw downe thine eminent place and shall breake downe thine high places they shall strippe thee allso of thy cloathes and shall take thy faire jewells and leave thee naked and bare It is thus with mee too Poverty is mine enemie into whose hands I am fallen It hath throwne downe mine eminent place it hath dejected my countenance My high places it hath broken downe my loftie thoughts and prowd imaginations It hath allso stripped mee of my clothes and tooke away my faire jewells and thus hath it left mee naked and bare The curse which David wished to his enemies hath seized on mee Ps 109 29. for I am cloathed with shame and covered with confusion as with a mantle And yet if I truely consider the state I am in I cannot deny but my sufferance is just for apt I have beene to wish evill to others and the same is fallen now upon my selfe In my passion I have beene ready to cloath my selfe with cursing vers 18 like as with a garment and it is now come into my bowells like water and like oyle into my bones O that I could bemoane my selfe of my former prosperitie as Iob did him selfe and that I could as truely say of my selfe that I put on righteousnesse and it cloathed mee Iob. 29.14 my judgment was a robe and a diadem But for want of that robe of righteousnesse I am cloathed now with the ragges of poverty in so much that I am allmost as much ashamed of the cover of my nakednesse as I am to appeare naked without a covering Where ô where is that courteous Saul 2. Sam 1.24 at whose death King David lamenting sang this Elegie Yee daughters of Israël weepe over Saul who cloathed you in scarlet with other delights who put on ornaments of gold upon your appearell Alasse here is neither scarlet nor ornaments noe nor a Saul to bestow them on mee Mat 11 8. Luc 16 19. They that weare soft cloathing are in Kings houses It is for such as Dives was to be cloathed in purple and fine linnen I can expect noe such costly coverings But is not my heart desirous of the gayest robes Is not my mind imployed in wishes for such vanities Let mee not deceave my selfe When I see another sumptously arayed doe's not the sight thereof incline mee to pride Could I not dispence with the vanity of silkes and colours and fashions if I had but meanes to purchase or procure them Doe not I honour the person for the borrowed habit and vallew more the richnesse of the cloathes then the vertue of the person I feare that my heart is not truely humbled for if I long for that which now I am denyed if my mind submitt not to the weakenesse of my fortunes it is much to be feared I am poore in habit but not in spirit But whence proceede my murmurings and discontents Why am I so desirous of sumptuous apparell Doe colours adde any thing at all to the heate Or doe onely silkes and costly stuffs preserve the body from the view of spectatours Certainly the coursest wooll which groweth on the sheepe hath power enough both to cover and to warme From whence then proceedeth the ground of my discontent Is it not from pride yea such pride as standeth not either with religion or reason Religion forbiddeth it Iam 4.6 for God resisteth the proude but giveth grace to the humble Reason contradicteth it for why should wee strive for a pompous covering and to out-vye each other in the glory of our garments when as all of us have beene equally naked at our births and shall equally returne to the earth our mother Those silkes which so highly are vallewed in our esteeme are but the intrails of a very worme which seemeth to lye as an agent for the tempter Shee seeing how vainely wee magnifie her esteeme preserveth her vallew by losse of her bowells and all to maintaine the pride of fooles But why should it reteine such respect among us as if the carkenet were much more worth then the jewell or the labour of a worme were of more account then the skinne of a Christian If wee prize the colour that 's sett on the silkes wee doate upon that which is fondly made and quickly decayed Some borrow of the tree the berrie that dye's and some of the fields the herâ—s that colour's and some of the earth that which fitt's for a tincture and yet when the choycest colours are sett on our silkes wee cannot deny them all to be staines Mee think 's the very flowers chide our madnesse for our esteeme of colours The Lillie is afraid lest wee should adore its whitenesse and the feare thereof enforceth a palenesse The Tulip blusheth at the simplnesse of our opinions and to teach us our vanity it withereth in a day Our coverings are onely remembrancers of our fall yet to increase the number of our sinnes wee have added pride to the necessitie of apparell Wee magnifie our selves in these emblemes of our disobedience and render them such honour as if wee rejoyced at our miserie Nothing upon earth offended the Creatour but onely our parents and nothing therfore save onely their off-spring doth borrow a covering It is true indeede that the wretchednesse of our condition was the parent of a vertue for modestie had noe name in the time of innocency This vertue is since become a duety but wee out-doe our commands in the excesse of our apparell But what can wee weare which properly and truely may be termed ours Or how long can that continue which wee borrow of the creatures The Parrat the Finch and the bird of Paradise all these outshine us in the varietie of colours and in their naturall glory teach us the vanitie of our imitating art Those colours which wee have are not properly ours nor can their beauty long continue for they dye
1. King 2.2 Iob. 17.1 My breath and my spirits allmost are spent my dayes are neere extinct and now the grave is ready for mee doe thou ô my God prepare mee for thy selfe With thee I long and desire to live To thee I desire to sing praises with the glorified Saints in thy celestiall Paradise O free mee from the burden of the flesh and the fetters of sinne and graunt that when I shall render thee an account of my yeeres I may behold thy face with comfort and joy Let me with desire attend the time of my change and the hopefull expectation of a happie resurrection Come ô my God and free mee from the bondage of sinne and corruption that I may sitt at thy right hand for ever and ever Heare mee ô father and graunt my petitions through the meritorious death of the Lord of life even Iesus Christ my onely mediatour and redeemer Amen subject 11 THE ELEVENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Barren woman The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen God had created Adam and Eve hee blessed them Gen 1.28 and said Be fruitfull and multiply and replenish the earth This was a blessing in the time of innocency but did it remaine a blessing after the fall Yes doubtlesse for long after the breach of the first commandement the Psalmist determined that Children are an heritage of the Lord Ps 127 3. and the fruit of the wombe is his reward Yet though it remaineth a blessing it is not without the societie of a punishment for so the Lord said unto the woman Gen 3.16 I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children This sorrow is an effect of sinne and not a sorrow for sin Yet surely it hath something in it above or beside a punishment for the first offence for neither is the sorrow in it selfe a sinne as is allwayes that which is onely worldly which beginneth continueth and endeth in griefe nor doeth this sorrow conclude in either sin or shame Io 16.21 or griese but as our Saviour saith As soone as shee is delivered of the child sh◠remembreth noe more the anguish for joy that a man is borne into the world The paine is a remembrancer of originall corruption but the issue is a continuance of the blessing in Paradise This paine I am freed from whilest I continue barren but then I want the blessing and the joy which accompanie the paine But why doe I complaine Why doe I disturbe my selfe for want of that which might become my tormentour All children are not blessed all are not elected to be heires of salvation Mat 20 16. Many indeede are called but few are chosen Doubtlesse Cain and Ham and Esau and Iudas and many millions besides did cost their mothers many bitter throwes and torments and cryes yet reaped not their parents that joy which others have receaved Is it not then better for mee to content my selfe with this state which I am in then to be the mother of a child which might be a fire-brand of hell All are not chosen to be vessells unto honour 2. Tim. 2.21 The way to destruction is a beaten roade My torments would be greater were I the mother of a child for feare that my child should dishonour my God then they could be with bringing that child into the world The cares of parents are full of trembling and disquietnesse allways suspecting ill accidents or diseases or which is worse a second death to befall their issues Reu 21 8. From these I am freed whilest I continue fruitlesse and I enjoy the societie of a husband without the disturbance of children But yet mee think's I rest not satisfied for barrennesse was ever accounted a reproach therfore Elizabeth upon her conception sayd Luc 1.25 Thus hath the Lord dealt with mee in the dayes wherein hee looked on mee to take away my reproach among men Gen 16 4. Thus when Hagar had conceaved by Abram her mistresse Sarai was despised in her eyes But alasse what 's this A litle reproach it may be among men but such as cannot continue long not longer at most then my life shall last and then it will cease or at least not trouble mee Surely it is not so contemptible in the eyes of my God for if so it were then Iob would not put it as a marke of the wicked Iob 24 21. that Hee evill intreateth the barren that beareth not And yet I suspect that some grievous sinne is the cause of mine affliction for barrennesse hath beene often sent as a curse and fruitfullnesse as a blessing How happie was the wife of Terah in her faithfull Sonne Abraham How happie was Iochebed in her meeke Sonne Moses How happie was Elizabeth in Iohn the Baptist But how most happie of all was the virgin Mary in her holy child Iesus prononnced so by he◠cosijn Elizabeth who sayd unto her Blessed art thou among women Luc 1.42 and blessed is the fruit of thy wombe This blessing mee thinks I seriously long for though I cannot expect a child of such excellency as was Abraham or Moses or Iohn the Baptist But why doe I thus disturbe my selfe about that which is not in my power to amend or alter Fruitfullnesse hath not allways beene a token of mercy sometimes it hath spoken the wrath of the All-mighty 2. Sam. 11.5 Bathsheba indeede was free from barrennesse but her child by King David was the spurious issue of a defiled bed Such sinister practises have beene the faults of diverse who have rather chosen to dishonour God then to be despised by men But this remedie would prove farre worse then the disease if I should seeke to be pregnant by the wayes of wickednesse Thus to become a mother I should dishonour my husband and which is infinitely worse my Lord and my God Thus should I desclayme the protection of God my father and the love of mine indulgent husband and all in a wicked and lustfull curiositie to take away my reproach among men Yea thus by endeavouring to salve my credit I should more deepely wound it and to avoyd a contempt for what I cannot helpe I should be branded with infamie which I could never wipe off Conscience and obedience to the lawes of my God forbid the thought of so dangerous a cure loyaltie and affection to my husband deny it love and desire of vertue chide it yea and care of my good name doeth plainly prohibit it I had rather continue for a time a reproached Elizabeth then be a lustfull Bathsheba to be the wife of a King It lyeth in the power of him who is omnipotent to make mee if hee pleaseth a joyfull mother I will not despaire while I live upon the earth because I
and my petitions to God must be likewise upon conditions when I begge of him but temporall blessings His blessings descend not unlesse they be called downe by my religious obedience nor may I pray for the blessings which concerne this life but with this condition If they may stand with his pleasure In his power it is to graunt the suite which so earnestly I make I wish it may be his pleasure to fullfill my desires Barren Sarai was promised a sonne and Isaak was borne Gen. 21 2.3 Lu 1.7 vers 57 Gen. 29 31. c 30.22 vers 23 Though Zacharias and Elizabeth were stricken in yeeres and Elizabeth was barren yet they were blessed with Iohn the Baptist. Though Leah was hated by reason of her barrennesse yet wee reade that the Lord did open her wombe God remembred Rachel and hearkened unto her and opened her wombe and shee conceaved and bare a sonne and sayd God hath taken away my reproach The wife of Manoah the Danite was barren Iud. 13.2 vers 3. vers 14 yet the Angel of the Lord appeared unto her and sayd unto her Behold now thou art barren and bearest not but thou shalt conceave and beare a sonne And the woman bare a sonne called his name Samson and the child grew and the Lord blessed him 1. Sam. 1.10 Barren Hannah was in bitternesse of soule for want of a child when Peninnah her fruitfull rivall provoked her sore to make her fret vers 6. vers 20 because the Lord had shut up her wombe and shee had a sonne whom shee named Samuel Thus may God if hee please looke upon my reproach and send mee a child which I may dedicate to his service I will therfore follow the stepps of Hannah the devout vers 15 I will weepe with her and I will fast with her and with her will I powre out my soule before the Lord. Who knoweth but my teares may prevayle through the merits of my Redeemer and my sobbs and sighes may draw downe a blessing Ps 30.8 On my knees therfore will I goe unto the Lord and gett mee unto my Lord right humbly I will weepe and pray and mourne and pray and sigh and pray and praying I will say The Prayer HEeavenly King father of mercies Ps 72.5 thou who tookest mee out of my mother's wombe but hast denyed unto mee the fruit of mine vouchsafe to looke upon the reproach of thy servant I know that my sinnes doe stoppe the current of thy mercies but it is thine honour that thou art a forgiver of offences Forgive my sinnes the cause of thy curse and heale the barrennesse of thy despised hand-mayd 1. Sam. 1.11 O Lord of hosts if thou wilt indeede looke upon the affliction of thine hand-mayd and remember mee and not forget thine hand-mayd but wilt give unto thine hand-mayd a man-child then I will give him unto thee all the dayes of his life Thou knowest that I am a woman of a sorrowfull spirit and out of the aboundance of my complaint vers 16 and griefe doe I pray unto thee Send mee I beseech thee a Samuël even such a child as I have asked of thee if it may stand with the pleasure of thee my Lord and King that may bring honour unto thee and comfort unto thy petitioner I shall never bee satisfied untill thou hearest my supplications Pro. 30 15. Either graunt my desires or arme mee with patience that in all things I may serve thee with quietnesse Mat 4.28 and content The earth thou hast made to bring forth fruit of her selfe and it is as easie for thee to blesse mee with increase But if thou hast otherwise determined in thy secret will howsoever graunt that I may never conceave wickednesse in my heart Act 5.4 to whom thou denyest the conception of a child Iam. 1.15 Let not lust conceave in mee lest it bring forth sinne and sinne when it is finished bring forth death Say unto my heart as effectually as once thou didst unto the fig-tree Mat 21 19. Gal 5.22 vers 23 Heb. 12 11. let noe such fruit grow on thee hence forth for ever but let mee allways produce the fruits of the spirit against which thine Apostle assureth mee that there is noe law Let this thy chastening yeeld unto mee the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse since I am exercised therein so shall I willingly submit to thy pleasure and beseech thee to graunt mee comfort and joy in that blessed sonne of a happie woman even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen THE TWELFTH SUBjECT Teares of a child-bearing woman 1 At the time when she beginneth to fall in travell 2 After her deliverie I st Her teares when she beginneth to fall in travell The Soliloquie consisting of three parts viz 1 The cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing 2 The greatenesse of the pangs hazards and feares of a travelling woman 3 Consolation and comfort for a woman in the bitternesse of her travell The first part of the Soliloquie treating of the cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my King and my God for unto the will I pray VVHen David confessed his actuall crimes hee forgot not the guilt of originall corruption therfore he professed saying Behold I was shapen in iniquitie vers 5. and in sinne did my mother conceave mee By the corruption of nature even Saint Paul himselfe was not without sinne that dwelled in him That which is borne of the flesh is flesh Rom 7 17. Io. 3.6 as my Saviour himselfe did tell Nicoden us and this flesh concludeth us all to be carnall Rom 7 14. and sold under sinne This originall stayne is the ground of all our actuall impieties justly therfore is the birth of a child accompanied with the torments and sorrowes of the mother left women should forget the tast of the apple I will greatly multiply thy sorrow Gen 3.16 and thy conception sayd the Lord unto Eve in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children O this heavie chastisement doth now approach to make mee sensible of my sinfull beginning As I caused the teares to flow from the eyes of my groaning mother so now even in mine eyes doe they likewise arise through the pangs which doe seize on mee by reason of my babe Lord what a trembling possesseth every joynt of mee and when I hope for ease by changing my seate or lying on my Couch or attempting to walke even in every place doeth the sharpnesse of the paine increase its strength and though I multiply my cryes yet mine anguish ceaseth not O what miserable perplexities are wee weake and sinfull women involved in Wee who can worst endure are most afflicted and allthough our tempers and constitutions conclude us weaker by farre then our husbands
may passe from miferie to eternall happinesse Heare Lord have mercy both upon mee and mine and graunt my petitions for the worthinesse of that most mercifull and most blessed sonne of a woman thine onely begotten Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen soliloquy 2 2. ly Teares of a woman after her deliverie from the paines of Child-birth The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray A Woman Io 16.21 when shee is in travell hath sorrow because her hower is come but as soone as shee is delivered of the child she remembreth noe more her anguish for joy that a man is borne into the world O how truely doeth my heavenly Iesus describe both his mercy and my comfort I who ere while was full of anguish and teares am now with comfort brought againe to my bed I who had allmost despaired of mercy in the midst of my sufferances have found a deliverer Mee think's I could weepe because I wept so much and grieve because my cryes did savour of distrust Many teares did I shed through the anguish which I suffered but have I none left of sorrow for offending in my pangs I will begge for pardon at the hands of him who sent mee this ease and then I will thanke him for his bountie in sending mee this child Prettie infant the beginning of his cryes was the end of mine and the beginning of his trouble was the end of my labour O how did I long to see him whom I now embrace How did I wish to be delivered of him whom yet againe I receave Hee is parted from my wombe to be caried in mine armes and he who before was the burden of my bowells now is made the delight of mine eyes Now with a greater comfort I hope then the first sinner embraced the first that ever was borne I may rejoyce and say I have gotten a man from the Lord. Gen 4.1 1. Chr 4.9 Gen 35.18 True it is that I might call him a Iabez because I bare him with sorrow I might name him Ben oni because hee was the sonne of mine affliction and sorrowes but I will rather with Iacob call him Benjamin the sonne of my right hand O how gratious was my God unto mee in that hee sent mee a mid-wife to helpe mee neighbours to comfort mee a house to cover mee a fire to warme mee and now a bed to ease mee The mother of my Lord had not an house but a stable onely Lu 2.7 for there was noe roome in the Inne Her holy child was layed but in a manger whereas mine is in a cradle yet I am wicked I am sinfull and uncleane yea and this babe is not borne without originall pollution But I will begge of the Lord that with Simeon I may take up my Iesus in mine armes vers 28 or rather in my heart and I will beseech him that as I desire to embrace him in my soule so hee will embrace mee in the armes of his mercy Mee think's when I remember how hardly the Israëlites were used by the Egyptians when the midwives were commanded to slay the males Ex 1.16 I cannot choose but tremble at the miseries of the women It might seeme a sinne in them to desire sonnes seeing they knew that their birth was but a stepp to their graves Those mercifull hands which brought them into the world were commanded to be the executioners of the innocent babes The women were to be as cruell in their murders as the King was in his commands and yet such bloody acts were to be called executions and not styled murders They had a command to put in practise what was so horrid and barbarous whereupon they were perplexed to thinke that either they must necessarily disobey authoritie or else destroy those who had not offended It is true that if God had commanded it the act had beene righteous Gen. 22 2. Abraham not onely may but must be the priest to sacrifice his sonne his onely sonne Isaak when God requireth it But if God forbiddeth what man commandeth wee must be more ready to suffer then to obey those commands When wee dare not doe what wee are unjustly commanded wee must dare to suffer what shall be unjustly inflicted on us O how grievously was Iochebed perplexed in her miseries Ex 2.3 when for feare lest her Moses should be slaine according to the decree shee was enforced to expose him to the brinke of the river That child whom shee could noe longer hide shee was faine to cradle up in an arke of bull-rushes Thus shee who durst not keepe her infant adventured upon a trade which shee never had learned but her directour was his preserver Surely the teares which shee shed for feare of his death did perswade the river to carie him alive for shee so bribed the torrent with the droppes from her eyes that it tooke more compassion then the heart of the tyrant One word of that King might have saved at once both her sorrowes and her feares Mee think 's the very river might have taught him to melt for his cruelty but where grace is wanting every thing that should check the petulancie of sinne doe's but give vigour to the execution thereof There was a sorrowfull mother weeping for feare of the death of him who might peradventure have cost her her life and there was a child too crying as if it had beene either sensible of the cruelty of the salvage tyrant or else struck with compassion for the tender mother The cryes of both were so lowd and so just that they pierced the clowdes and were heard up to heaven and the daughter of the King was moved to save what her father in his fury did seeke to destroy The child was found by Pharaoh's daughter and ignorantly as well as compassionately shee put him to nurse to his indulgent mother O what cannot God doe when hee decreeth to act His justice is severe and potent Ps 145 9. but his mercy which is over all his workes is full of goodnesse and wonder Hee who preserved Moses hath saved this infant and I hope hee hath chosen him for a vessell of honour Zacharias was promised that hee should have joy and gladnesse in Iohn the Baptist Luc. 1.14 I will hope for the like in this new-borne babe and I will begge of my Lord that hee may be beloved of him Him I must magnifie for the deliverance of my selfe and him I must thanke both for the shape the life of my child My wombe might have proved the grave of mine infant and my selfe the sepulcher of a child unseene I might have dyed in the birth of this which I embrace and the litle infant ignorant of my cryes might unwittingly have beene the destroyer of his mother Or else I might have lived
to whom shall I goe To what physitian or Chyrurgion shall I repaire Lev. 13.2 I reade that if any man of the house of Israël had in the skinne of his flesh a rising or a swelling or a bright spott and if it were in the skinne of the flesh like the plague of Leprosie then hee was to be brought to Aaron the Priest or unto one of his sonnes the Priests vers 3. and the Priest was to looke on the plague in the skinne of the flesh and then to proceede according to order Thus under the Law the Priests were the Physitians both for the body and the soule where upon the Prophet Ieremiah complained and accounted it as a greate judgment upon the people for their sinnes that From the Prophet even to the Priest every one dealt falsely Ier. 6.13 vers 14 they healed allso the hurt of the people sleightly Hence allso another Prophet reproved them Eze. 34.4 because The diseased they had not strengthened neither had they healed that which was sick neither had they bound up that which was broken Under the Gospel allso the Apostles were likewise Physitians for both Mat. 10.1 for when Christ had called unto him his twelve Disciples hee not onely gave them power against un-cleane Spirits to cast them out but allso to heale all manner of sicknesses and all manner of diseases Doubtlesse by this I am likewise taught into whatsoëver sicknesse I fall Psa 110.4 Mal. 4.2 Make use of the prayer which followeth the next Meditation whatsoëver disease I am visited with first of all to goe to the Priest to the Minister of God first to examine my soule before I looke for the cure of my body To the Priest will I therfore goe to the chiefe Priest to the high Priest to the chiefest and highest that ever was even to him who is a Priest for ever after the order of Melchizedek and humbly will I besiech him to teach mee to feare his name and then I know that hee who is the Sunne of righteousnesse will arise with healing in his wings and will make mee goe forth and grow up as calves of the stall 2. Teares of the visited being marked with the Tokens The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THere is a time to kill saith Solomon and a time to heale Eccl. 3.3 O that time to kill is now come upon mee but I know not how so much as to hope for the time of healing for here I find the tokens of death the markes of my mortalitie This flesh this sinfull flesh of mine which hath beene so washed so unguented so smoothed and coloured according to the choycest witt of art and industrie hath now the staines in it of a contagious sicknesse Where are now those admirers of comelinesse those idolatrous doaters upon the beawtie of women Let them come and learne the vanitie of their opinions chide their simplicitie by these tokens of vengeance O what a fraile thing is woman easily deluded into a beliefe of her beawty and as easily stricken with her owne deformitie But what doe these spotts meane to die my flesh and strike such a deepe tinture in a smoothed sknne Are diseases blind that thus they fasten every where without either choyce or exception Vaine woman as I am why doe I spend these minuits these few and winged minuits alotted unto mee in such impertinent quaeres These blewish staines tell mee that I must provide to answer for my sinnes yea shortly speedily before him who dispatched them hither unto mee Death approacheth mortalitie knocketh at my burdened heart Lord how heavie is my soule Even as if it were allready at the greate tribunall and pleaded guiltie of millions of enormities They have corrupted themselves saith Moses by the Israëlites Deut 32.5 their spot is not the spot of God's children they are a perverse and crooked generation Is there a spot then which even the children of God may be subject unto Why then may not these be some of those spotts and my selfe be one of those children of God Lord how willingly how greedily doeth every one strive to dye the death of the righteous How easilie are wee apt through ignorance to dwell in the letter of the text when wee should rather prie into a farther intent of the blessed Spirit That spot of the children of God is not seated in the body but in the soule and that spot in the soules of the Israelites was chiefely Idolatrie True it is that even the righteous have their stainei too vers 15 16.17 but not such bloaches not such greate and fowle spots or howsoever not of such a deepe tincture not dyed so in graine as are those of the wicked for they are washed out with the teares of sorrow through the blood of the Lamb. O that my spotts were onely in my skinne and not in my soule and that I could truely justifie my selfe in the language of Iob. Iob. 31.6 vers 7. Let mee be weighed in an even ballance that God may know mine integritie If any blott hath cleaved to my hands But alas I cannot I dare not Yet if I could but come to a sight of my sinnes and be truely humbled for them then am I sure that hee who taught Iacob how to increase his flock of the speckled and the spotted Gen. 30.39 Is 1.18 would easily make mee white as wooll But how or upon what grounds can I expect his mercy feeing all that I can suffer is not punishment enough for all that I have trespassed Heb. 9.22 Without shedding of blood is noe remission sayth the blessed Apostle What comfort then can I expect or what mercy can I hope for seeing that my blood my life is not of vallew enough to suffer what my sinnes have merited much lesse to purchase remission of my sinnes What now shall I doe What hope can I have that my body should be freed from these spots of my disease when I know not how to be freed from the pollutions of my soule By the Mosaicall law If any one of the common people sinned against any of the commandements of God concerning things which ought not to be done Lev 4.27 vers 32 A Lamb without blemish was to be his offering and so the atonement was made for the sinne vers 35 and it was forgiven Here yet was some ease for a distressed soule the sinne was forgiven through the blood of the Lamb. But what hope have I of remission That Law doeth noe longer stand in force nor will the blood of a common Lamb be accepted for the least the smallest offence Yet Cheere up O my drooping soule Let my fainting spirits and my sorrowfull heart take comfort in the middest of my deepe distresse for there is
must some-times rest What though I am an exul a stranger a sojourner here as all my fathers were I must have a lodging I must have a chamber I must have a roome and in that roome and in that chamber I may I must have some rest Yea and I must have some delight in it too and that not onâ—e alone but continually for so I am commanded by the Apostle Phil 4.4 who saith Rejoyce in the Lord allways and againe I say rejoyce Diverse indeede for diverse causes have wept but they have not allways wept Gen 27.38 Esau lifted up his voyce and wept but it was for the losse of his father's blessing The Elders of Ephesus wept Act 20 38. 2. Chr 35 25. yea they all wept sore but it was sorrowing most of all for the words that Paul had spoken unto them that they should see his face noe more A mourning I reade of that was in Hadadrimmon in the valley of Megiddo when Ieremiah lamented and all the singing men and the singing women spake of their King in their lamentations and made them an ordinance in Israel That was for Iosiah who was slaine by the armie of Pharaoh Necho in the valley of Megiddo In Ramah was a voyce heard Ier 31.15 lamentation and bitter weeping Rachel weeping for her children because they were not This mee thinks come's home close neere to mee This was for the captivitie of Iudah and Benjamin or it was for the infants slaine by that bloody that presecuting Herod Here are children lamented so farre the cause of the weeping complyeth with mine But neither is my child slaine by a murderer nor yet is hee lead into captivity Noe Eph 4.8 hee who did leade captivitie captive hath freed my sonne from the fetters Rom 8 21. from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of â—he sonnes of God My child was not slaine as were all the children that were in Bethlehem and in all the coasts thereof Mat 2.16 from two yeares ould and under Noe Hee who was slaine for him hath saved him Hee who hath swallowed up death in victory Is 25.8 Hos 13 14. hath ransomed him from the power of the grave and redeemed him from death Lord though I am a weake though a sinfull woman make mee for ever to praise thee for this thy goodnesse Ps 107 8. and to declare the wonders that thou hast done both for mee and mine When the woman of Samaria came to draw water at Iacob's well my bountifull Iesus freely gave her to drike of the living water Io 4.14 which became in her a well of water springing up into ever-lasting life I am such a woman as shee was mine eyes have resembled the mouth of Iacob's well and though the well be deepe even deepe as my heart yet some-thing I have had to draw the water with My child mine infant hath drawne and drawne untill I am even allmost drawne drie And in this agonie and in this distresse my Christ hath come to cleanse my well to sanctifie my teares and to ease mee of my griefe 1. King 3.26 My bowells indeede did yearne upon my child as that woman 's did whose issue should have beene divided for the satisfaction of the harlot My child is divided though hers were spared The better part of him the soule is gone it is gone to God for his it is it is his owne share nothing but the earth of him remaineth with mee But I will I must be thankfull and though I find a reluctance in my chillowed heart yet the Prophet forbiddeth weeping for the dead Ier 22.10 and bemoaning of them Let mee begge for patience for submission for content and say The Prayer BLessed Lord God Ps 68.20 unto whom belong the issues from death vouchsafe to heare the cry of thy mourning hand-mayd Thou wert pleased once to blesse mee with increase and to make mee a joyfull mother of my now dead infant But oh that that very child which was framed and fashioned by thee is now come unto thee The first that sinned was a woman tempted by the Serpent Gen. 3.13 and that Serpent in his temptation stung so deepe that it hath reached now even to the fruit of my wombe for the sinnes of my selfe Yet Lord looke downe in mercy upon mee though a sinfull woman though the most unworthy of my sexe Mat. 15.28 even farre inferiour to that woman of Canaan for herfaith was greate but I alas have noe faith at all or but a weake one or but a dead one otherwise the promises of my Redeemer would controul my passion and the assurance of his mercies would dry up my teares Thou ô Lord hast freed mine infant from the burden of the flesh yet I goe heavily for it as if it were lost in my despaire Thou hast crowned it with immortalitie and yet my passion declareth that I mourne as if it were lost Ps 38.9 O Lord God thou knowest all my desires and my groaning is not hid from thee Thou seest how my teares doe flow through mine infirmitie thou hearest my sighs which arise from my dis-content I confesse it I am sorrowfull for it I am ashamed of it Act. 7.60 Lord lay not this sinne to my charge Thou hast taken nothing but thine owne O be pleased so to make mee thine owne by grace and then shall I be assured in thine owne due time to be receaved into glory Allay the heate of my passion by the pleasant gales of thy refreshing Spirit Graunt that my teares may be kept for my sinnes my sad laments for my deplorable condition through my many offences My heart is heavy for the losse of my child ô Lord lighten it ô Lord ease and comfort it with thy heavenly grace Ps 94.19 In the multitude of sorrowes which I have in my heart let thy comforts ô Lord refresh my soule My child thou knowest was deare unto mee because it was thy pleasure to lend him unto mee Hee was and hee is deere unto thee and thou hast expressed thy love in delivering him fron the evill 1. Thes 1.10 2. Tim 2.11 from the wrath to come Hee is deal in Christ Lord let mee be dead with Christ that I may allso live with Christ My child is dead because hee was sinfull but his uttermost farthing was discharged by Christ O thou who art rich in mercy Eph 2.4 for the greate love wherewith thou hast loved man-kind graunt that I may not dye in sinne but to it that so I may be quickened together with thy Sonne Make mee to yeeld my selfe unto thee Rom 6 13. as those that are alive from the dead and my members as instruments of righteousnesse unto thee my God Forgive my excesse of love to him that is gone my excesse of teares and sighs that have beene caused by his departure my want of patience and submission to thy holy pleasure and
dyed shee vers 19 poore soule being greate with child when the storie of these sad accidents was related unto her bowed her selfe and fell in travaile for her paines came upon her yea at length when shee was delivered of her Ichabod vers 21 she gave up the ghost Thus the Priests fell by the sword Ps 78.64 and noe widow was left to make lamentation True it is that my affliction is greate in the death of my husband yea so greate that herewith the slanderous enemie of the Psalmist was severely cursed Ps 109.9 Let his children be fatherlesse and his wife a widow yet is it farre better to see him goe downe to the grave in peace then that hee should have lingered in continuall miserie Ier 22.12 Shallum the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah was caried captive by an enemie into another land and dyed there which the Prophet confidering speaketh and saith vers 10 Weepe not for the dead neither bemoane him but weepe for him that goëth away for hee shall returne noe more nor see his native countrie This might have beene the portion allso of my beloved but since it was not though my losse be greate yet must not my sorrow be too greate Immoderate griefe for those that are dead was the practise of heathens it becometh not the children of God The Israelites were forbidden it even by God himselfe who saith unto them Lev 19 28. Deut 14.1 Yee shall not make any cutting in your flesh for the dead nor print any markes upon you I am the Lord. And againe Yee are the children of the Lord your God yee shall not cut your selves nor make any baldnesse betweene your eyes for the dead The Gentiles indeede at the death of friends were so trans-ported with sorrow that they cut themselves Ier 16.6 made themselves bald in the greatnesse of their lamentations They carved their flesh and marked themselves for idolatrie yea they allso cut their skinnes when a friend deceased and the wounds they filled up with either Stibium or inke or what colour they pleased which remained in the flesh when the skinne was growne over In all their sorrowes such kinds of inscisions were ordinarie testimonies of the griefe of their hearts Ier 41.5 Thus the fowre score men that came from Shechem from Shiloh and from Samariah had their beards shaven and their clothes rent and they had cut themselves and had offerings and incense in their hands to bring to the house of the Lord. Thus when the Priests of Baall did call on the name of their Idoll 1. King 18.28 they cryed alowd and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancers 'till the blood gushed out upon them Yet though it was the practise of the Gentiles it may not be of Christians nor might it be of the Israëlites they therfore punished it with many stripes And just it was that when their violent hands had un-naturally beene stained with the blood of their owne bodies the hand of justice should draw blood in the punishment of such a cruell offence The Iewes might not cut themselves at the death of a friend noe though of a father because they were not fatherlesse while the Lord was their God The infidells indeede had noe share in the most high and therfore were fatherlesse when their sires deceased but it was not so with Israel nor is it so with mee I have a father which is in heaven Mat 6.9 to whom my husband is gone before mee I have a husband too which is in heaven even the same who was a husband to Iudah and Israël I have a head too which is in heaven Ier 31.32 even my Saviour Christ Eph 5.23 who is the head of the Church I have a brother too which is in heaven even my elder brother Iesus Christ Why then should I grieve that my husband is dead since hee is but gone to the place where my treasure is layed up Mat. 6.20 and where my immortall father and head and brother have crowned him with immortalitie My God hath taken him that I may know where to find him Whilest hee continued upon earth his imployments did often deprive mee of his societie but now is hee seated in a place of rest to which when I come wee shall never be seperated Whilest hee was here my affection unto him indeede was greate and that was my duety but yet I feare that I offended in the excesse Had I not loved him too much I should not be immoderate in my sorrow but even by these teares I am taught the sinfullnesse of my passion For this sinne therfore will I strive to weepe even for the trespasse of my weeping I should never have beene so offensively sensible of this my losse nor so vaine in my laments if I had allways remembred that hee was created mortall and had therfore trusted in him who is immortall If I doe love my God more then I did my husband I shall find both comfort and content in his mercy Lord how fraile and weake am I that I cannot discharge the debt of nature but I must bring in question the power of grace I cannot grieve for the death of my departed husband without discovering some diffidence some distrust in my God But I will pray unto the Lord to for give the excesse of my love to my deceased husband the excesse of my teares for the death of my husband and to convert these teares into dropps of sorrow for my hainous offences To him will I hasten to him will I speedily addresse my selfe and mournfully will I cry and begge and pray and say The Prayer FAther of mercies and God of all consolation Ioa 11.25 vers 26 thou who art the resurrection and the life in whom whosoëver believeth shall live though hee were dead and in whom whosoëver liveth and believeth shall not die eternally send downe thy grace into my sinfull soule that I may magnifie thy name for delivering thy servant from the miseries of this life and for inthroning him in the celestiall â—erusalem where I doubt not but hee reigneth Thou knewest his sufferances and the sharpenesse of his sicknesse in mercy didst release him of his miserie to crowne him with glory Thy favours were infinite in his spirituall comforts when his body languished through the extreamitie of his disease By thy scourge thou taughtest him how thou abhorrest sinne yet I doubt not but thou hast freed him from the torments of hell through the sufferances of thy Sonne For thy goodnesse to him thy name be glorified and I humbly besiech thee to extend thy mercy likewise unto her who honoureth thee for it Thou knowest Lord the distresse of my soule for want of him whom thou hast taken from mee Thou seest mine affliction and thou numberest my teares O be gratious unto mee thine unworthy servant and send mee comfort in the midst of these sorrows Give mee grace
shortnesse of our lives then the most eloquent straines of the best rhetorician These bells assure mee that my life is but a found a noise an aier these perfumes tell mee that it is but a vapour 1. Pet. 1 24. these herbs doe teach mee that flesh is as grasse and these teares these early teares which so suddenly arise when my heart doeth call teach mee mortalitie in their hastie falling And who can choose but weepe for the shortnesse of our lives Who can forbeare a teare at the funerall of a friend It was a curse inflicted upon the wicked Iewes that they neither should be buried nor yet lamented They shall dye of grievous deaths sayth the Prophet Ier. 16.4 they shall not be lamented neither shall they be buried but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth and their carkeises shall be meate for the fowles of heaven vers 5. for the beasts of the earth For thus saith the Lord Enter not into the house of mourning neither goe to lament nor bemoane them for I have taken away my peace from this people saith the Lord even loving kindnesse c 25.33 and Ierusaâ—mercies So the slaine of Iudah and IerusaleÌ„ saith the Prophet shall not be lamented neither gathered nor buried they shall be dung upon the ground So it was threatned concerning Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah saying c 22.18 They shall not lament for him saying Ah my brother or ah sister they shall not lament for him saying ah Lord or ah his glory It was a judgment upon the Israelites Amos 8.2 when the Lord sayd by the mouth of his Prophet The end is come upon my people of Israel vers 3. and the songs of the temples shall be howlings in that day saith the Lord there shall be many dead bodies in every place they shall cast them forth with silence Surely if ever nature had libertie to pleade for the convenience yea for the necessitie of a teare it may at this time command Grace must and most willingly shall have the chiefe predominance but let nature have likewise it 's qualified drops so they grow not immoderate Though my losse be the greatest to whom hee was a husband yet others may weepe too to whom hee was a friend Gen 50.7 When Ioseph went to burie his father then all the servantâ— of Pharaoh went with him and the Elderâ— of his house and all the Elders of the land oâ— Egypt vers 8. And all the house of Ioseph and his brethren vers 10 and his father's house And they came to the threshing floore of Atad and there they mourned with a greate and very sore lamentation and hee made a mourning for his father seaven dayes Io 11.31 VVhen Lazarus was buried and the Iewes saw Mary rise up hastily and goe out they litle imagined that shee went to meete the Lord of life but they followed her saying Shee goeth unto the grave to weepe there When her brother Lazarus was dead shee wept and her sister wept and her friends the Iewes wept and when Christ did see them all thus weeping hee was so farre from blaming them vers 35 2. Chr 35.24 that hee wept himselfe When Iosiah was slaine his servants tooke him out of the charet wherein hee was wounded and put him in the second charet which hee had they brought him to Ierusalem And hee dyed and was buried in one of the sepulchres of his fathers and all Iudah and Ierusalem mourned for Iosiah VVhen Samuel was dead 1. Sam. 28.3 all Israel lamented him and buried him in Ramah in his owne citty 1. King 13.29 VVhen the ould Prophet tooke up the carkeise of the man of God who had beene slaine by a Lyon hee layed it upon the Asse and brought it back and came to the â—tty to mourne and to burie him vers 30 And hee layd his carkeise in his owne grave and they mourned over him saying Alas my brother The children of Israel wept for Moses in the â—laines of Moab thirtie dayes Deut 34.8 1 Sam 15.35 Though Saâ—uel tooke his leave departed from Saul â—nd come noe more to see him untill the day of â—is death neverthelesse Samuell mourned for Saul Iud 11 39. vers 40 Though Iephthah's daughter had beene lead and buried long before yet it was a â—ustome in Israel that the daughters of Israel went yeerely to lament the daughter of Iephthah â—he Gileadite fower dayes in a yeere When Stephen was stoned Act 8.2 devout men caried him to his buriall and made greate lamentation over him 2. Chr 32.33 VVhen Hezekiah slept with his fathers hee was buried in the chiefest of the sepulchres of the sonnes of David and all Iudah and the inhabitants of Ierusalem did him honour at his death Lu 7.38 VVhen Mary Magdalene stood weeping at the feete of my Saviour and did wash his feete with teares and wiped them with the haires of her head and brought an Alabaster boxe of oyntment vers 37 and anointed him with the ointment vers 38 hee was so farre from dis-liking it in her that hee checked his disciples who had indignation at the act and therfore sayd Mat 26 8. To what purpose is this wast Yea hee reproved them and sayd unto them Why trouble yee the Woman vers 10 For shee hath wrought a good worke upon mee vers 12 For in that shee hath powred this oyntment on my body shee did it for my buriall Shee hath done what shee could Mar 14 8. shee is comâ— afore hand to anoint my body to the burying Here I find was oyntment to embalme him and here were allso teares at his funerall and yet so farre was Christ from blaming her for her teares that hee not onely decreed the publishing of this act through the world where the gospel should be preached Mat. 26 13. that for a memoriall of her but hee likewise upbraided Simon with the teares of the sinner Lu 7.44 and sayd unto him I entered into thine house and thou gavest mee noe water for my feete but shee hath washed my feete with teares and wiped them with the haires of her head vers 47 c. Wherfore her sinnes which are many are forgiven for shee loved much Weepe then I may upon this sad occasion yea and weepe may my friends too Teares are as proper at a funerall as smiles at a wedding Wee have two mariages the first whereof is to living dust the last to the cold and silent earth At the former wee rejoyce for it was an institution of God before man had sinned Gen 2.24 at the latter wee weepe for it is the effect of sinne Wee cloath our selves in delightfull colours when wee celebrate the former but our blacks at the latter are our wedding garments The Rosemarie is served about at each the gloves and the favours attend at each
the wine and the other accustomed entertainments are given at each wee goe to the church for the consummation of each onely here is the difference that at the one wee rejoyce but at the other wee mourne Every guest that is willing to comply with the preâ—ent occasion must as well be sad at this as â—e merrie at the other Weepe wee may and weepe wee must especially my selfe who have â—ost my selfe But yet let mee take heede that I offend not in my teares lest that which is my duety be turned into a crime I must especially take heede that I erre not in the cause of these laments for if I griere at the happinesse of him that is departed I discover an envie rather then affection If I grieve for the losse which my selfe sustaineth I must take heede that I wrong not my confidence in God I may not offend in the number of my teares for if I weepe too much I may forfeit my hope or at least I may occasion those that behould mee to thinke that I doubt of the salvation of the dead Weepe I may and weepe I must but for feare lest I offend in these my teares in my earnest prayers I will begge that they may be sanctified To my God will I goe for his direction and assistance and in this storme of my teares I will shelter my selfe under his protection and humbly will I tender my petitions and say The Prayer O All-mighty and ever-living Lord God thou who knowest whereof wee are made Ps 103.14 and who remembrest that wee are but dust give mee grace I besiech thee to be thankfull unto thee for all thy mercies more particularly both for thy deliverance of my husband from the miseries of this life and for affording mee the meanes in peace to bring him to his longest home Lord so arme mee with patience in this time of affliction that I may not offend thee in my want or excesse of mourning Gen 3.19 Dust wee are and to dust wee shall returne From the earth wee came and to the earth wee must goe This way which thy servant must now be disposed of is the way wherein thou wilt one day leade mee allso to my rest O prepare mee for the time of my greate account Eccl 12 7. that so when my dust shall returne to the earth as it was my spirit may returne unto thee who didst give it Let his spectacle of mortality live in my memorie that so when I consider that the time will come that as naked as I came out of my mother's wombe Iob 1.21 so naked shall I thither returne againe I may wholly endeavour and seeke to be clothed with the righteousnesse of thy Sonne Rom 6 4. With him thou hast beene gratiously pleased that by baptisme I should be buried into death graunt allso good God that like as hee was raised up from the dead by the glory of thee the eternall Father even so I allso may walke in newnesse of life Make mee ever thinke upon death which will seize on mee judgment which will examine mee and hell which would devoure mee that heaven may receave mee Let this lifelesse carkeise put mee in mind of the malice of sinne which is the cause of death and of that sentence which immediatly followeth this death Thou seest ô Lord how unwilling I am to part from this frozen and earthie lumpe Thou knowest how deepe the departure of my joy doeth pierce and wound mine afflicted heart O be thou my comforter in this greatest sorrow Ps 119.96 that seeing now I see that all things doe certainly come to an end I may wholly endeavour to please thee alone who shalt never have end Is 50.3 O thou who cloathest the heavens with blacknesse and hast cloathed mee at this time who am but earth ashes with these mourning weedes graunt that by these I may be instructed to shunne the fraile and fading vanities of the earth and strive for that Kingdome which shall endure for ever Be pleased to speake peace to my troubled mind that so though nature hath power to enforce mee to weepe yet grace may prevaile to moderate my mourning Ps 106 9. Ps 104.9 O thou who diddest once rebuke the red sea that thy servants might passe through them as on drie land thou who hast set a bound to the seas that they may not passe over nor turne againe to cover the earth be pleased so to rebuke the waters of mine affliction and put such a bound to these my teares that they may not drowne this earth of my feeble body but may give place to confidence and comfort in thy mercy Ps 114.3 Iordane did yeeld to thy command was driven back so drive thou back the flood of my teares that they swell not above the bankes of moderation and hope Let the grave of the deceased put mee in mind of the tombe of my blessed Redeemer that so when I am bowed downe with sorrow at the buriall of this earth I may be raised with joy for the benefits of the resurrection of my Saviour Christ Hee hath plucked out the sting which sinne had formerly given unto death 1. Cor. 15.56 vers 57 ô let mee ever be thankfull unto thee my God who givest us victorie through Iesus Christ. Give mee an assured beliefe of the generall resurrection that when I grieve at the placing of this flesh in the grave I may rejoyce in the certaintie of his rising againe Ps 25.17 Though the troubles of my heart be now enlarged yet bring thou mee out of all my feares Ps 94.19 In the midst of the sorrowes which I have in my heart let thy comforts ô God refresh my soule Lord make mee dye to sinne and live by grace that when I shall put off this tabernacle of flesh I may dwell with thee in those eternall mansions of perfect happinesse through Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen subject 21 THE TWENTIE-FIRST SUBjECT Teares of a woman in the state of widow-hood The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray BEcause Ierusalem had forsaken the Lord was was gone backward Ier 15.6 vers 8. Therfore sayd my God their widowes are increased to mee above the sand of the seas vers 6. Hee who was wearie of repenting was not wearie of destroying and yet the judgments which fell upon the Iewes were easier to the stronger then to the weaker sexe The males had a period set to their earthly troubles when the sword devoured them but the poore females were left alive destitute both of the comfort and societie of their husbands Death is a judgment mixed often with mercy because it finisheth our earthly sufferances whereas a life that is lead in continued sorrowes is so much the more burdensome
heart so that the wrath of the Lord might not come upon mee O that I could pray with Hezekiah weepe with Hezekiah that the Lord might say unto mee as hee did unto him Is 38.5 I have heard thy prayer I have seene thy teares That curse which David prophetically layed upon the wicked in his time Ps 58.7 mee think's doeth seeme at the first severe but yet it is just Let them melt away as waters which runne continually vers 8. as a snaile which melteth let every one of them passe away like the untimely sruit of a woman that they may not see the Sunne The snaile consumeth wheresoëver it crawleth and yet the providence of God is such that the consuming snaile is often found a remedie for the Consumption Thus what is good for my disease is troubled with the same and that which some have found to be a remedie is to mee a certaine remembrancer of my miserie ô that every thing might put mee in mind as well of the cause of this my disease Lord how my flesh doeth quiver though but litle is left of it How my heart doeth tremble as if noe comfort were left mee I have sinned I have done very wickedly But doeth the cure of my sicknesse as much exceede the power of my God as the skill of my Phisitian Noe noe hee may if hee please restore mee to health againe and hee may when hee pleaseth commit mee to the wormes All is in his hand ô what shall I doe to purchase his favour What shall I doe to have him reconciled Faine I would weepe for my sinnes but I know not how Faine I would shed some penitent teares but hardly will nature afford mee moisture enough But I resolve howsoever that noe excuse shall save a teare or a throb since without these I cannot hope for excuse and pardon Alas my sinnes lye heavie at the doore Gen 4.7 but I will rowle them away with the force of a water course I will grieve for my offending so mercifull a God I will lament for the offences which I have committed against him that visiteth mee I have but a litle time to continue upon earth unlesse it shall please him to restore mee to health Earth I am I must confesse it but I would not be drie I would not be dust untill I am layed to sleepe in the dust Io 9.6 Hee who made clay with his spitle to cure the blind can open mine eyes with the blessing of a teare Mee think's I am like unto the corne that is ground in a mill for so am I torne so am I crumbled worne into meale But since I am so I will make dough of this meale I will leaven it with my sorrowes I will adde unto it the water of my teares I will kneade it by contrition and bake it with the heate of that zeale which I will preserve in my heart and then will I pray that it may be a present accepted by my God Thus will I weepe in my languishing sicknesse thus will I lament for the cause of my sicknesse but I will weepe in faith and I will lament in hope that my Iesus will say unto mee as hee did to the woman that touched his garment Mat 9.22 Daughter be of good comfort thy faith hath made thee whole thy sinnes are forgiven thee part 3 The Third part of the Soliloquie setting forth the Patient's hope of recoverie THe hower of death seemeth neere approaching and putteth mee in remembrance of my last account The weakenesse of my body telleth mee now that the time is comeing wherein I must appeare at the greate tribunall Mee think 's these leane and languishing joynts doe seeme to wonder at mee for so long entertaining the fleeting ayre and doe groane under the burden of this sharpe disease Lord I cannot hope to continue here long since the litle house of my body is so tottering and shaking And yet mee thinks I have not sufficiently compleated the worke of my repentance and cannot therfore account my selfe ready to meete my God I repent indeede of whatsoever formerly I have done amisse and yet I cannot choose but doe amisse againe even as soone as I have repented I tremble when I thinke upon the punishment due to offenders and yet I tremble not when I commit when I act mine offences Readie I am not to dye too desirous I would not be to live and yet dye I must and yet live I may Lord if thou prolongest my life renew mine obedience I would be contented to live but then I would live without sinne I could yeeld to continue a while that I might perfect my repentance but then I am sure I should adde to the number of those sinnes whereof I repent I will resolve therfore neither to hasten my death nor yet too eagerly will I desire life I must needes confesse that I am willing enough to live Lord graunt that if I doe live I may live to thy glory and if I doe recover my health I may expresse my thanks in a religious life Thus I pray with my lipp but doe I pray so with my heart I am apt to promise unto God more then I feare I shall be able to performe and all these promises are made in hope that I may recover my strength Yea and it may please him who is the Physitian both of the soule and body to restore my body to health and strength I know that it is in his power hee may doe it if hee pleaseth Mat 19 26. With men indeede this seemeth impossible but with God all things are possible If I live I will spend my time in his service and upon these conditions I may hope to live Yea and so I will hope why should I not Hee in whom alone I doe hope hath power to graunt the thing that I hope for yea and to give a blessing thereto if hee full-filleth my hopes By him even dead bodies have beene restored to life it is not hard therfore for him to restore a living body to health When Tabitha was dead Act 9.37 vers 39 and washed and layd out Peter went into the upper chamber where all the widowes stood by him weeping and shewing the coates and garments which Dorcâ—s had made whilest yet shee was with them vers 40 Then the Apostle put them all forth and kneeled downe and prayed and turning him to the body hee sayd Tabitha arise and shee opened her eyes when shee saw Peter shee sate up Here was a wonder wrought by a man farre greater then the recoverie of my health would prove but this man receaved his power from God Mat. 9.8 Well might the people marveile when they saw such things and glorifie God who had given such power unto men But Saint Peter is dead and in these latter times those miracles are ceased of restoring the dead What then I am yet alive and my cure is not difficult to
set it forth from day to day Ps 96.2 part 2 The Second part of the Soliloquie wherein is set forth the certaintie of Death A Braham is dead the Prophets are dead and my Saviour Christ sayd Io 8.52 If a man keepe my sayings hee shall never tast of death At this the Iewes were very much stumbled and mee think 's they had some collour for their contention about it For if Abraham were dead Rom. 4 11. Iam 2.23 Gen 22 18. Lu 1.70 who was the father of the faithfull who was the friend of God hee in whose seede all the nations of the earth were promised a blessing because hee obeyed the voyce of the Lord And if the Prophets were allso dead those holy Prophets which have beene since the world began and by whom the Lord did reveale his pleasure unto the people If all these were dead well might the Iewes wonder when our Saviour said If a man keepe my saying hee shall never tast of death Well indeede they might wonder for ignorance is the cause of all our merveiles Did wee but know a certaine reason for every event wee should never wonder at that which happeneth but wee should magnifie the first greatest cause which is God The Iewes wondered because they were ignorant and supposed that our Saviour had spoken of a temporall death whereas hee meant that which is eternall True it is that the temporall death is an effect and fruit of the first sinne but eternall death is the punishment of impenitencie and infidelitie for those who both can and truely doe repent neither can nor shall be lyable to an eternall death Nay dye they cannot in any kind for this which wee call a death shall be to them but a deliverance and that death which is a perpetuall living death in the land of darknesse they shall be certainly freed from by the blood of the Sonne of God Yet this passage this sweete change in the godly and allso this gate which openeth to the ungodly the way to eternall woe the Scripture doeth commonly tearme a death this death cannot possibly be avoyded by the children of Adam Heb. 9.27 for it is appointed unto men once to dye 'T is true 't is true indeede I am ready to find it verefied in my selfe for the harbingers of this death have taken up my body where it intendeth to lodg The weakenesse of my limbs and the faintnesse of my spirits and the shortnesse of my breath and the lownesse of my voyce and the palenesse of my cheekes and the hollownesse of mine eyes all these doe but assure mee of the approaches of this death But is there noe resistance Is there noe reversing of the decree Noe repealing of the statute Alas noe none at all This body which hath beene pampered with the delicacie of meates must now be slaughtered and make a feast for the wormes These bones which have layen upon the beds of ease must become as tables for the loathsome vermine And this skinne this prowde skinne which hath stollen so much time to imploy in the suppling and colouring and smoothing and covering of it must serve like a cloath spread on these tables whereon must be presented this collation for the wormes Short is my life fleeting are my dayes and my winged minuits fly with such speede that I caâ— hardly count them so fast as they consume Wheâ— I enjoyed the most sound and beloved health even then the shortnesse of my life was discovered in my breath for I was intrusted onely with a litle ayer which neither was in my power long to keepe nor long without it could I possiblie continue I was so false in my promises which I made unto my God that hee would not trust mee long with the keepng but of a litle of that element I have allways lâ—ved at the brinke of death and yet never seriously enough thought of that which now is ready to approach I never thought indeede of the hower of my death by a due preparation to entertaine it when it should come Nay I fondly imagined that it must of necessitie keepe the roade of diseases sicknesse whereas it might have hastened by wayes un-expected When I was healthfull I grew so proude that I imagined certainly it either could not or durst not assayle my body and yet when I was afflicted with the smallest paine then againe I was so cowardly dejected that I was afraid it hastened by each part and member When I smarted I was taken off from my pride but the cure of that sinne was an immoderate and a slavish feare But now I am well assured that neither strength nor youth nor beauty nor physick nor any thing else can secure our bodies from returning to the earth True it is that the dead know not any thing Eccl 6.5 neither have they any more a reward for the memorie of them is forgotten but the living know that they shall dye c 8.8 There is noe man that hath power over the spirit to reteine the spirit neither hath hee power in the day of death Wherfore then have 〈◊〉 so long lived in ignorance or forgetfullnesse of mine end If I had remembred it I would have fitted and prepared mine accounts against the time it should come If I had knowne it I would have laboured to have made the judge my friend But ô I forgot it for I increased my sinnes and thought not of the debt I was ignorant too and knew not the terribloesse of the Iudg. Now mee think's these cold and clammie sweats doe chiefely arise from my chiding conscience and from the convulsions which there I suffer through the guilt of my sinnes I never was so carelesse or ignorant of death as I now am certaine of it yet afraid to dye Eccl 12.7 Iob. 30.23 Now I am sensible that my dust shall returne to the earth as it was I know that the Lord will bring mee to death to the house appointed for all the living Die say I Yes But must I dye Yes But when That I know not many dayes or howers I cannot expect to live who am allready pined into the leanenesse of an Anatomie But where must I dye That I know not neither even in this bed it is most likely where I now lye languishing in the torments of my disease But how or by what meanes must I dye Nor can I tell that allthough this sicknesse seemeth to be dispatched hither for this very purpose But if it be so sure that dye I must is it likewise as sure to what place I shall goe O this question is the common troubler of the dying There are but two havens where soules can arrive the one is the holy land the new Ierusalem the haven of eternall happinesse the other is a land too but it is a land of darknesse a land of smoakes and stinkes a place of eternall horrour To the former the godly are wafted by a convoy of