Selected quad for the lemma: death_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
death_n	child_n	father_n	put_v	5,228	5	5.8876	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A19453	The court of good counsell VVherein is set downe the true rules, how a man should choose a good wife from a bad, and a woman a good husband from a bad. Wherein is also expressed, the great care that parents should haue, for the bestowing of their children in mariage: and likewise how children ought to behaue themselues towardes their parents: and how maisters ought to gouerne their seruants, and how seruants ought to be obedient towards their maisters. Set forth as a patterne, for all people to learne wit by: published by one that hath dearely bought it by experience.	Guazzo, Stefano, 1530-1593. Civil conversatione.	1607 (1607)	STC 5876; ESTC S105096	41,315	73

peace for the answere of a wise woman is silence and she must stay to vtter her minde till be be appeased if he be obstinate let not her be ouer t●wart nor doe as the woman did to whom her husband brought for their supper two Thrushes but shee would needed say that they were Black-byrds he replying apaine that they were thrushes and the holding that they were Black-byrds he in his anger gaue her a bor on the oare and yet for all that when the Thrushes were serued to the table she termed them Black-byrds wherevpon her husband fell to beating her againe A weeke after she put him in minde againe of the Black-birds continuing in her obstinacie till he fell to his olde remedy But this matter ended not thus for at the yeares end she hit him in the teeth how he had beate her for two Black-byrdes and hee said it was for two Thrushes but she said he was deceaued and so was well beaten for it againe But to returne againe to our purpose I will set downe a fewe more admonitions for the wife how she may continue in loue and goodwill with her husband CHAP. XII ¶ Hereafter followeth certaine Admonishions how the wife may continue her loue and good will towards her husband A Woman cannot possible doe any thing that may make her Husband more in loue with her then to play the good Huswife in her house For it not onely doth him good to see his wife so thriftily giuen but besides hee conceaueth a good oppinion of her honestie seeing her take such great paines and exercise her body in workes belonging to her house whereby she getteth a naturall coullour and that vertuous vermillion which falleth of neither with sweating neither with wéeping nor with blowing nor with wiseing which maketh him deny her no necessary thing belonging to the house Also when he séeth her so carefull to kéepe them in good order which is not the fashion of those light ●uswiuen that liue without doing any thing without caring for husband children or any other houshould busines she wing manifestly that though her body be in the house yet her minde is abroad which foundeth to her owne shame and the husbands great disprofit For it is well knowne when the Mistris is buisied in vanities the seruants take litle care of her profit but looke to their owne matter as the common saying is while the mistresse playeth the maide strayeth and as the Wife ought busily to looke about her house so it is vnseemely for the husband to meddle with matters within doores But if his hap be so ill to haue a foolish wife then it standeth him vpon to supply her imperfections But those men are to be laughed at who hauing wise and sufficient wiues will as they say set their Hens to brood season the pot dresse their owne meate teach the Chamber-maides and take their wiues office from her such husbands offend their wiues much shewing thereby that either they mistrust them or despise them Besides that they doe much wrong to themselues and shew thereby their want of humanitie for if they were imploid abroad in matters of importance belonging to men of discretion they would being at home be now desirous rather to take their ease then trouble their wife and seruants in medling with their matters Furthermore they woulde consider with themselues that the rule of the house belongeth to the wife and that God hath mate women more fearefull then men to the end they should be more fit for the wary matching and keeping of the house wherevnto a carefull feare oftentimes is requisite I deny not but the husband ought to know how matters goe in his house to prouide abroad for things accordingly and now then to correct some faults which his wife perchaunce eyther will not or cannot But it is great reason that she beeing as it were the sterne of the house the husband should commit vnto her the whole gouerment of it as a thing belonging vnto her For the rest you must know that as in aduersitie and trouble true friends are knowne so the wife cannot by any meanes more surely binde the goodwill of her husband to her for euer Then by sticking to him faithfully in his néede and aduersitie which some women do not who will gladly be partakers of the prosperity of their husbands but will not willingly take part of their troubles Forgetting the example of the fayre and wise wife of Methridates who for her husbands sake caused her head to be paled and framed her selfe to ride and weare armour like a man and so accompanied him valiantly faithfully and patiently in all his troubles and perils which gaue her husband wonderfull comfort in his aduersity and let the world to vnderstand that there is nothing so troublesome and gréeuious but that the two harts of the husband and wife fast linked together are able to support it and to passe all griefe and annoy away Therefore when the husbands are afflicted with any infirmitie eyther of body or minde let the wiues be ready both in worde and deede to comfort them whereby they shall see their loue will grow more feruent and faithfull But now for conclusion the husband and wife must count all things common betweene them hauing nothing of their owne in perticuler no not so much as the body it selfe and laying aside pride they most ch●refully set their hands to those things that are to be done about the house belonging to their calling and to striue in well doing one to ouercome an other whereof will grow such contented quietnes as happily prolong their liues to olde age And by the bonde of loue and concord they shall giue their children an example to liue in vnitie one with an other and their seruants to agree together in their busines and discharge of their duties CHAP. XIII ¶ Of the conuersation of Parents towards their Children And of the disagreements that oftentimes happen betwixt the Father and the Sonne FOR AS MVCH now as I haue made mention of Children and youth I thinke it fit that from dence forth according to my determination to speake of the conuersation that ought to bee betweene the Parents and the Children For I thinke it a matter very expedient to be set downe the ordere which they ought to obserue togither for that euen amongst them there is not for the most part I found that good agreement and that discréet dealing which ought to be For the world is now come to this passe that the child is no sooner come to any vnderstanding but that he beginneth to cast in his head of his fathers death as a litle child riding on a time behinde his father said simply vnto him Father when you are dead I shall ride in the saddle Yea there are many great and knauish children which wish and worke the death of their fathers The sault whereof I know not to whom I shoulde impute it whether to the fathers which kéepe

children in learning perswading them that they are neuer rich vntill they be learned There are in this age many masters excellent in learning and yet lewd in life therefore it is the fathers wisedome to be very wary in the choyse of them least what his sonne getteth one way he looseth an other way for he must haue as great care to make him vertuous as learned and he must haue more care to make him good then to leaue him riches For as one said if thy sonne be wise and honest thou shalt leaue him good enough but if he be a foole thou shalt leaue him too much for fooles are not fit to possesse riches Now if the child be not giuen to learning the Father must not fayle to imploy him some other way for there is nothing more daungerous then an idle young man and as the tree that blossometh not in the spring time bringeth forth no fruit in haruest so he shall neuer come to liue honestly when he is a man who is not vertuously exercised while he us a child CHAP. XVII ¶ Of the euill successe of many children through the imperfections of their Parents VT amongst the other occasions of the ill successe of children this is one when the father is careles to make them in time to raise themselues from the ground my meaning is that the father béeing carefull of his sonnes aduauncement is many times so curious to see him instructed in worldly matters that forgetting how the beginning of Wisedome is the feare of God be taketh no care at all to instruct him in the Christian Fayth whereof it commeth to passe that many vnhappy children trayned vp altogether in worldly astayres and depriued of the true light cannot sée the right way but runneth into perdition For the wisedome of the world is folly with God and it is a thing impossible for him to liue well that knoweth not God Therefore I would haue parents to take care both for the minde and body of their Children but because the minde beeing the more excellent it is reason to cast out chéefest care vpon it And for that the minde in Infants is like a table booke wherein nothing is written and like a tender twig which may be bowed euery way it is cleare that vertue or vice may be easily planted in it and for that it is knowne by proofe that these things are kept best in memory which are learned in youth Fathers ought to instruct their Children in the best thing they can especially in the feare and loue of God holding it for a generall rule that he which knoweth euery thing and knoweth not God knoweth nothing but if the father be diligent to instruct his children in the Lawe of God he shall get his ioy by it that his children thereby will doe him the more honour and reuerence knowing that it is gods will they should do so But now let vs returne againe to the former occasion of the ill successe of children to which may be added this when the father setteth before them a stayned and spotted glasse to looke in that is when he giueth them ill example which the Romanes were very circumspect in whose modesty was so great that the father would neuer bathe himselfe in the company of his sonne for it is counted a great fault in the father to suffer himselfe to be séene naked by his sonne It is no maruaile though Cato put Manlius out of the Senat of Rome onely for kissing his wife in the presence of his daughter Therefore the father ought aboue all things to shew him selfe such before them as he witheth they should be for the master doth not them so much good by his instruction as the father doth them harme by his euill example for they are by nature lead rather to follow his steps then their masters precepts For it is so naturall a thing for the sonne to resemble the father in wicked qualities as swearing cursing and such other vices that if by chaunce some child doe not follow his father in them but liueth vertuously yet the world will scarce beleeue that be doth so by reason of the euill opinion they haue of the father but rather will thinke that the childe is ●e●re to his vices as well as to his lands and when they can find no fault with him any way some one or other will not stick to hi● him in the teeth that he was the sonne of a wicked man Likewise it the father be honest and the sonne lewd the fathers good name is called in question through the sonnes folly And many men thinke it vnpossible that the sonne should tread awry vnles he were by his father led thereto And thereupon it is thought that those men which vse too extreame seueritie towardes their children is not done so much vpon displeasure that take against them as for the care then haue to maintaine their owne credit I would therefore haue all fathers to frame themselues to line well and orderly as well for their owne sakes as for the venefit of their children who seeing vertue shining in their fathers deeds will haue a desire in all goodnes to follow their steps For when children sée their fathers seruants of the house stand renerently waiting vpon him and ready at the holding vp of his finger to do his commaundements they will thereby take example to doe their duile likewise and not be lesse obedient then leruants and straungers and besides indeauour to be like to their father in deedes that they may in time to come receiue the like reuerence of their seruants as they see their father doe of his For the father that giueth an ill example to the child in time shall be had in contempt by the child so that be shall neyther receiue succour of him in his latter dayes nor at his death that last duty to close vp his eyes besides the father liuing disorderly many times make hand of those goods which his Children should liue by I will now passe further to more occasions of the vnfortunate course of life betworne the father and the child whereof there are two that come into my minde the one is when the father is more then a mother the other when he is more then a father My meaning how he should be more then a mother is when he is to blinded that he seeth not the imperfections of his childe or if he see them yet is ready to commend them or to excuse them in such sort that if his sonne be haughty or hare-brain'd be termeth him couragious if he be base-minded he connteth him modest if a pra●ing boy he will haue him all Orator and in flattering thus himselfe he thinkes him the best Childe in the world with which blindnes the fathers of one onely childe are for the most part strucken CHAP. XVIII ¶ Of the lewdnes of many children through the want of their good bringing vp whilest they are young And of the ouer-sight of

partiall loue maketh his sences yeeld to reason and sheweth himselfe in deeds a like towards all I will not deny but the father by his authoritie may distribute his fauours as he seeth good to one more to an other lesse according to the state and doings of his children for as by gentle vsage he incourageth a child that is well giuen to doe well so by hard handling he may bring one that is vntoward to goodnes Yea if he haue any childe that is past grace without any hope of recouerie he may lawfully not onely loue him lesse then the rest but quite cast him out of his fauour But those fathers are greatly to be blamed who with vniust partiality and without any reasonable consideration on will vse one child as ligetimate the other vnlawfull whereof it followeth that he which is so meanely accounted of doth not onely fayle in affection to his kindred but beginneth to fall to secret warre with his owne brothers whereby the father that might establish peace and concord amongst his children shall by his partiality plant amongst them a roote of continaull discord Therefore the father ought to be well aduised how he preferreth in good will one childe before an other and not to doe it vpon euery light occasion I likewise thinke it a great folly insome fathers that make some of their children their darling and minion with out seeing any towardnes in them in the world and let euery man to haue knowledge of their fond causles affection yet it often falleth out that those children by reason of their wanton and dilicate bringing vp proue doults and simple sotts whereas contratiwise those which are banished from their fathers loue and driuen to shift for themselues doe oftentimes by their owne paine and trauell so aduaunce their estates that they are in better case then their father or their lawfull brothers to whom oft-times they afford ayde and succour in their distresses we may boldely then say that the in-iustice of the father bréedeth disagreement betweene his children and himselfe But now againe to our purpose It is commonly seene and that for the most part those children which are most made of fall out the worst and haue many misfortunes which makes me remember a prety Iest of an Ape that had two young ones at a litter whereof she loued the one and cared nothing for the other which Ape vpon occasion was driuen from her den and hauing taken that which she loued in her armes and tyed the other at her backe in running she stumbled and fell howne against the hard ground and so killed her young one she had in her armes and loued so well but the other which was at her backe had no harme at all whereby we may see that the Father oftimes doth pennance for his fondnes But to returne to our matter there is yet remaining one occasion of the disagreement betweene the Father and the Childe which is when the Father will not suffer his Children to come forth of their Infancy meaning that when eyther thorough the authoritie of olde age or couetou●nes the father though his Children be growne to mans estate will alow them neither more liuing nor more liberty even they had when they were Children therefore let al men learne know that Children now adayes are borne wise and haue gray haires in youth and as men liue not so long in these dayes as they did in times past so they grow sooner to ripenes of wit now thē they did here to fore therefore I am to aduise the Father if he tender the well doing of his Childe to alow him with discretion some liberty in matters of the House suffring him sometime to inuite to welcome make his companions good cheere to giue entertainment to strangers and as occasion shal serue to vse the goods of the house to serue his turne but aboue all things he must still counsell the Sonne to play the good husband to see to things about home whereby he may be able to keepe augment his estate keep himselfe frō falling into decay Hereof will rise thrée good effects the first is the loue of the sonne who seeing his father withdraw himselfe by litle little frō the gouerment of the house to the intent to put him in his roome receiueth therby wonderful countentment and thinketh himselfe in mind much bound vnto him not onely honoreth him but witheth him long to liue on earth The second is the commoditie of the sonne who by this meanes after his fathers death shall haue no neede to seeke counsel at his friends kinsfolks hands nor to put the ordering of his house to the discretion of his seruants hauing by the foresight of his father at things long before in his owne hands so that the gouerment of his house shall not be strange nor troublesome vnto him as it is to many when they haue lost their Father The third is the sweete rest and content of minde which the Father inioyeth in his old dayes both for that he feeleth himselfe ridde from all worldly troubles and besides seeth his Sonne by his example gouerne his house orderly and for my part I count it the chiefest felicitie in this world for a man to haue about him a number of goodly Children which are growne to perfection whom he may tearme the light of his eyes and the staffe of his age and mee thikes it must needes be a greater comfort to the Father to see a proofe of his Childe and how discreetly he can dispose of his lyuing and order his houshould then to doe it himslefe now when the Father shall be arriued to the hauen of such happinesse mee thinkes he may ioyfully looke for the last hower of his life and die most contentedly Yet in the holy Scriptures in it written Giue no authoritie ouer thee neither to thy Sonne neither to thy Wife neither to thy Brother nor to thy Friend and giue not away thy liuing to another while thou art aliue least thou afterward repent it Yet there haue been in time past and are at this day many wise Fathers which depart with their Liuinges to their Children and yet incurre no inconuenience by it mary they doe it in such sort that they neither bring themselues in subiection to their Children nor into such case that they are not able to liue without them But now in briefe I giue the Father to vnderstand that there is nothing in this world wherein there ought more care and diligence to be bestowed then in the bringing vp of Children for thereof proceedeth for the most part either the mayntenance or the decay of Houses therefore he must begin in time to furnish their tender mindes with the feare and knowledge of God and such good conditions that they may learne to liue as if they were still at the poynt to die that he indeauour to keepe them in obeydience rather by loue then feare and cause them to doe

well rather of their owue accord then by inforcement yet how forward so euer they be hee must not cease to incourage and pricke them forwarde knowing that there is no Horse but needeth the spurre that he suffer them not to be idle but set in tune to labour the better to indure it afterward That he enter not into rage and impatience with his Children tor a good Father vseth Wisedome in stead of Anger and awardeth a small punishment for a great fauit and yet is not so foolish pittifull altogether to pardon it knowing that as by sparing the Rodde he may spill his Child so by wearing it too much he make him either dull or desperat That he prouide them of good Maisters to teach them for young Children must be propped vp like young Trees least the tempest of Uices either breake them or bow them crooked That he suffer them not in any wise to haunt the company of such people as will corrupt with wanton speaches and naughtie conditions That he be carefull to marke in their childhoode to what kind of life they are naturally inclyned that he may disigently set them vnto it for an vntoward beginning hath euer an vnluckie ending That without iust occasion he vse no partiallitie amongst his Children vnlesse he be willing to set them together by the eares That in all his doinges hee shew himselfe graue and modest and by doing well him selfe giue his Children an example to doe the like that in his olde age when his Sonnes are growen men thorough couetousnesse hee witholde not from them reasonable stipendes to liue by otherwise in stead in honouring him they will wish him buried Finally that he be so carefull ouer his Children that at his death hee feele not his conscience charged in hauing to make account for his necligence in their behalfe perswading himselfe that amongst all the abuses of the world there is none worse then a necligent Father therefore he is mooued by Nature pricked in Conscience and bound in Houestie to haue a great care of his Children CHAP. XXI ¶ Heere followeth the duetie of the Childe toward the Parentes BUT now to fall from the care of the Father I will briefly speake of the duetie of the Child For all Children ought to know that by Nature they are bound to honour their Father and Mother in doing so God giueth his blessing and pramiseth the reward of long life for next vnto God there is none more to be honored then the Parents If the Father be churlish and curst vnto them let the manifould benefites receiued of him counteruaile that crueltie and continue them in their duetie Let Children take heed of molesting their Parentes any way but to ouercome them with patience for they shall neuer stude a surer friend then their Father and they must alwayes carry in their mindes that hee which stubbernly striueth with his Fahter prouoketh the wrath of God against him so that he shall neither passe away his life quietly nor yet make his end honestly Then let them so behaue themselues that their Father haue no cause to curse them and wish ill of them for God still heareth the prayers of the Father against his Children Let them not thinke any seruice sufficient to requite their Fathers goodnesse towards them for when they haue done their duetie to the vttermost they can yet shall they not haue done all which they should Lastly let the sticke to their Parents in all troubles and aduersitie assuring themselues that they which forsake their Parents shall be forsaken of God and that is the greatest offence that may be committed Let all men be assured of this that he shall haue the same measure made him by his Children as hee shall mete to his Father like as there was a Father who was driuen out of his owne hause by his Soune and was faine to take vp his lodging in the Spitie-house and seeuig his vnkind Sonne vpon a day going by the doore prayed him for charitie sake to send him a paire of Sheetes to lie in The Sonne mooued with his Fathers request was no sooner come home but he commanded one of his sonnes to carry a paire of Sheetes to the Hospitall to his Graundfather but the Child deliuered but one of them which his father blaming him for at his returne hee answered I will keepe the other for you Father when in your old age you shall goe to the Spitle-house as my Graund-father now doth Hereby wee may learne that our Children will deale with vs as wee deale with our Parentes And this shall serue to close vp our Discourse touching this matter CHAP. XXII Of the diuersitie of the care that Parentes ought to take of their Daughters in the bringing vp of them more then they take for the bringing vp of their Sonnes NOw will I make some particular mention of Daughters for that the Father is to vse himselfe otherwise towards them then toward his Sonnes yet diuers be the maners of bringing vp of Daughters in England at this day for same fathers will not suffer their Daughters to set their foote foorth of doores not past once or twise in a yeare Some will allowe them not onely to keepe company with their friendes and kinsfolke at home in the house but also to visit their friendes abrode and to be present at Banquets meeting of friendes Some will haue them taught to write and reade and to haue skill in Musicke others will haue them learne nothing but to sow and spinne and gouerne the House All these diuersities I will a little touch in this manner First not to suffer a Mayde to go abroad but once or twise in a yeare is the way to make her become foolish fearefull and out of countenance in compante Now the other which goeth abrode euery day with her Mother and haunteth Feastes and Banquets melteth away like Ware in the fire and driuing by little and little the maydenly modesty out of her lookes and gestures there appeareth in her a licencious and wanton behauiour so that she is rather taken for a Mother then a Mayde and if there come no worse of it the Mother may assure her selfe that in bringing her Daughter so often abroad in publicke places maketh her thereby lesse prized and worse bestowed then otherwise shee might bee I say nothing of these that are taught in their Chambers to write to read and sing and neuer come downe into the Kitchin but I will leaue that charge to the poore Hushands whose Hause goeth to decay and all for hauing so learned a wife Then if you cast your eyes vpon one of those which can do nothing but sow spinne you shall see in attyre in talke and in behauiour the very figure of a countrie Milkemayde who will haue as good a grace amongst other women as a Kitchenstuff-wench amongst courtly Ladyes It behooueth then all discreete Fathers who are to bestow their Daughters in Mariage to consider of what calling