Selected quad for the lemma: death_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
death_n	child_n	father_n	put_v	5,228	5	5.8876	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A02291	The ciuile conuersation of M. Steeuen Guazzo written first in Italian, and nowe translated out of French by George Pettie, deuided into foure bookes. In the first is conteined in generall, the fruites that may bee reaped by conuersation ... In the second, the manner of conuersation ... In the third is perticularly set foorth the orders to bee obserued in conuersation within doores, betwéene the husband and the wife ... In the fourth, the report of a banquet; Civil conversatione. Book 1-3. English	Guazzo, Stefano, 1530-1593.; Pettie, George, 1548-1589.	1581 (1581)	STC 12422; ESTC S105850	262,636	366

knowing themselues to be sufficient mē and to be so taken of euery man are neuerthelesse vsed by their father like children and therefore I cannot blame them greatly if in stead of louing him they complaine of death for delaying the execution of that iudgement which so long before was pronounced agaynst him To which purpose I know a gentleman who hath liued this fourty yeeres vnder a most rich father who is so miserable that he maketh him dispaire and to say often to his companions that hee is a foole to liue so long and that it is now high time for him to goe to another world adding that his liuing will do him no good when it falleth into his handes for that by course of nature he shall be constrained to forgoe it againe Annib. A certayne countrey fellowe vsed to say that he gat by his labour euery day fiue loaues of bread and being asked how he distributed thē answered in this sort One I keepe for my selfe another I throw away another I pay home and the other two I lend foorth being requested to expounde his riddle he sayd I take one for my selfe I call away another in giuing it to my stepmother I restore home one to my father and two I lend to my childrē By this example more noble then rustike both children ought to learn to be louing and gratefull to their father and fathers to be liberall to their children remembring that in their age and necessity that which they haue lent vnto their children shall be restored by their children wherto the fathers we but now spake of haue had no regard and a man may well say that they are doating old that they are become children agayn and quite voyd of iudgement Guaz. If y t come by the fault of age I will not say that such men were wel worthy to dwell amongest the Caspians who when the father is arriued to the age of threescore and ten kill him presently and giue him to beastes to eat but I wyll say that they ought to acknowledge their insufficiency and want of iudgement and to referre the ordering of their house and liuing to their chyldren who are of discretion to deale in suche waighty matters If couetousnesse bee the cause of it they ought to consider that it is a shamefull thing in olde folke of all others for there is nothing more absurde or without reason then for a man to make greate prouision for his iourney when hee is almoste at hys iourneyes ende so that if they haue heaped vp their wealth for themselues why a little of it will serue their turnes but if they haue trauayled for their children it is meets they shoulde lette them haue it so soone as they are of dyscretion to knowe how to vse it If the 〈◊〉 growe of ambition the poore soules oughte to take a patterne by Princes rulers who seeing their children fit to gouerne the people gladly resigne vnto them their estates realmes and Empyres whereof wee haue manye examples If they presume too muche of themselues let them learne to knowe that chyldren now adayes are borne wyse And as menne lyue not so long in these dayes as they did in tymes past so they grow to perfection sooner now then they did heretofore Annib. It is harde for these olde folke to take ●ny profite by these good admonitions for that their vyces by length of tyme haue taken too deepe roote in them to bee pulled vp yet we will not cease to aduise the father if hee render the well doing and aduauncemente of his childe to allowe hym wyth discretion some libertye in matters of the house suffering him somtime to inuite to welcome and make his companions good cheeres to giue intertainment to strangers and as occasion shall serue to vse the goodes of the house to serue his turne but aboue all thinges he must both by example by admonition keepe from entring into his hart vnsatiable couetousnes which maketh men wicked and vniust or at least neuer suffereth thē to liue in ●est quiet especially y e father whiche is a gentleman who ought to haue in his minde that king who comming into his sonnes lodgeing and seing there many peeces of plate whiche hee before had giuen him sayd vnto him I see well thou hast no princely minde with thee seing of so many thinges which I gaue thee thou hast yet made thee neuer a freind so that the father ought to stirre vp his sonne to liberall and gentlemanly deedes mary yet so that now and then if he bee not otherwise affayred hee learne to play the good husbande and see to thinges about home whereby he shall be able to conserue and augment his estate and keepe himselfe from falling into decaye hereof will rise at the least three good effectes The first is the loue of the sonne who seing his father withdrawe hym selfe by little and little from the gouernment of the house to the intent to put him in his roome receiueth thereby wonderfull contentment thinketh himselfe in his minde much bound vnto him and not only honoureth him but wisheth him long to liue on earth The second is the commodity of the sonne who by this meanes after his fathers death shall haue no neede to seeke counsayle and ayd at his freindes and kynsfolkes handes nor to put himselfe to the discretion of his seruantes for the ordering of his house hauing by the goodnesse and foresight of his father all thinges long before in his owne hands so that the gouermnent of his house shal not to be straunge or troublesome vnto him as it is to many when they haue lost their father The third is the sweet rest and contentment which the father inioieth in his old yeeres both for y t he feeleth himselfe rid of all incombrance vexation and besides seeth his sonne by his example gouerne his house orderly For my part I count it the greatest felicity in the world for a man to haue about him a number of goodly children whiche are growne to perfection whom hee may well terme the lyght of his eyes * and the staffe of his age * and I marueile nothing that the most prudent dame Cornelia shewed to her neighbour that asked for her chaines iewels her learned and vertuous children and methinkes it must needes be a greater comfort to y e father to see a proofe of his childe and how discreetly he can dispose of his liuing and order his househould then to doe it himselfe now when the father shall be arriued to the Hauen of such happinesse and consolation methinkes he may ioyfully looke for the last houre of his life and dye most contentedly Guaz. It is no question far better to make place for their children of their owne accord then to stay till they must needes do it spite of their teeth Like as Ptolomei did who gaue y e Realme of Aegipt to his sonne saying that a Realme was nothing so honourable nor

Methridates who for her husbands sake causing her head to be polled and framing her selfe to ride and weare armure like a mā accompanied him valiantly faithfully patiētly in al his troubles perils which gaue Methridates wonderfull cōfort in his aduersitie gaue the world to vnderstand that there is nothing so troublesome greeuous but that the two hearts of the husband and the wife lincked togither are ab●e to support it And therefore when the husbandes are afflicted with any infirmity either of mind or body let the wiues bee ready both in word and deed to comfort and to attend them whereby they shall see their loue and affection will growe more feruent and faithfull For conclusion the husband and the wyfe muste count all thinges common betweene them hauing nothing of their owne in particul●r no not so much as the body it selfe and laying aside pryde they must cheerefully set their handes to chose thinges that are to be done about y e house belōging to their calling to striue in well doing one to ouercome another whereof will growe such contēted quietnesse as will happily prolong their liues to old age and by the bond of loue concorde they shal giue their children an example to liue in vnitie one with an other and their seruauntes to agree together in the dispatche of their businesse and discharge of their duties Guaz. For so much as you haue made mention of children I should like well y t from henceforth according to our determination you come to speake of the conuersation betweene y e parents the children for I think it a matter very expediēt to set down y e orders which they ought to obserue in conuersing togither for y e euen amongst thē there is not for y e most part found that good agreemēt and y e discrete dealing which ought to be that the world is now come to this passe y t the child is no sooner come to any vnderstanding but that he beginneth to cast in his head of his fathers death as a little childe riding behind his father sayde simply vnto him Father when you are dead I shal ride in the Saddle yea there are many great knauish children which wish and worke the death of their fathers whereof I know not well to whom to impute the fault either to the fathers which keepe not their children in such awe neyther bring them vp in such sorte as they ought to do or to the children who know not how much they are beholding to their fathers Annib. And which of thē in the end rather conclude you to be in the fault Guaz. Marye the Childe who can not bring an action agaynst his father though he do him neuer so great wrong Annib. Why sayd you not but now that the child often times knoweth not his duty to his father Guaz. Yes mary did I. Annib. To whom wil you giue the charge to make the child know and vnderstand that duty Guaz. To the Father Annib. Then reuoke your first sentence and conclude that the fault is in the father who ought to haue infourmed him in his duty Guaz. If the father giue his sonne good lessons he will not hearken vnto them what can he doe more if the Father offereth instructions with the right hand the childe receiueth them with the left hand what fault is the Father in Annib. If the father in time teach him to vse his right hād he will neuer grow to be left handed but it is no marueile if hauing suffered him to vse that ill custome a long tyme he cannot afterwardes take it from him And therefore hee ought to accuse his owne negligence for that he hath deferred till euening to giue him ●hose instructions whiche hee should haue giuen him earlye in the morning at the Sunne rysing euen together as it were with the milke of y e Nurse not considering that in tender mindes as it were in waxe a man may make what impression he lift Guaz. I know not how you can excuse the children who after the father hath nourished and brought them vp carefully vnder the charge of learned men and instructed them in the faith of Christ in the end run astray and liuing lewdlye bring foorth fruite vnworthy their good bringing vp Annib. That happeneth very sieldome though it do happen yet for al y t the fathers are not discharged of the care ouer them which God himselfe hath inioyned them to Guaz. I marueile not so much y t a child vertuously brought vp sometime falleth out naught or if therevpon afterwardes ariseth discord betwene his father him for y e vnlikenesse of manners may be the cause of it but I count it strange as it were agaynst nature y t both y e father y e sonne being both honest men and for their good dealing wel spoken of by all men it shal often fall out that they cannot agree together in the house but liue in continuall strife and dissention and agreeing well in publike affayres still disagree about househould matters whereof I could bring you many examples Annib. You sayd but erewhile that the child ought not to commence an action agaynst the father if you will stand to that sentence you must needes confesse that the sonne how honest soeuer he be doth not honestly when he withstandeth his father and conformeth not himselfe to his pleasure Guaz. I auow and make good that the sonne ought to suffer the father to commaunde ouer him and that hee ought to obay him without any resistaunce but that their conuersation may frame the better I thinke it necessarye to appointe to the father how he ought to proceed in his fatherly iurisdiction y t he exceede not y e bonds of reason and giue not his sonne cause if not to oppose himselfe against his pleasure yet to find fault w t him in his hart to think himself ill delt withal by him by means wherof he waxeth cold faint in y e loue reuerence which he ought to beare to his father Annib. I can neuer forget y e vndoubted saying y e fewe children are like the father that many of them are worse and y e those which are better are very rare thin sowed I would haue vs first therfore serch out y e cause why so fewe children resemble the father answere to y e hope he cōceiueth of thē whereof ariseth disagreement betweene them by y t meane we shal better vnderstād what their conuersatiō ought to be Guaz. With all my hart Annib. First it is to be considered that children bring smal or no comfort vnto their parents if nature fortune bee not well tempered in them Guaz. How so Annib. As a fruitful graine sowed in a soyle vnfit for it bringeth forth no increase so a child which is naturally giuē to learning shal neuer do well if he be giuen to warfare so much it importeth to finde out in the beginning

acceptable a thing as to bee the father of a King whiche thing also aboue all his other actes increased the immortall glory of Charles the fift Annib. Albeit in holy Scripture it be written Giue no authority ouer thee neither to thy sonne neither to a womā nor to a brother nor a friend and giue not away thy liuing to another while thou art aliue least thou afterwardes repent it yet there haue been in time past and are at this day many wise fathers which depart both with authoritye and liuing to their children and yet incurre no inconuenience by it mary they doe it in suche sorte that they neyther bring themselues into subiection to them nor into suche case that they are not able to lyue without them * For the inheritance belonging by right vnto the childe when he shall see the father keepe it wholy to himself he doth not only desire to obtaine it but seeketh to recouer it as it were as his due And when he is driuen to stay for it vntill his father be dead he maketh his account he hath it at death his hand not at his fathers hand neuer thanketh him for it Guaz. All the occasions which you haue hytherto rehersed of the disagreemēt betweene the father and the children arise of the fault of the father now it were well we shoulde see what occasions come by the childes fault Annib. When the father shall deale in such sort that on his part none of those occasions we haue spoken of bee giuen I thinke the child shall haue no cause to be at variance with him and this saying shal haue place that y e sonne for the most part is like vnto the father this other also that the daughter commonly followeth the steppes of the mother but for that there are some children which are vntoward inough without any fault of the father I thinke good that we briefly set downe to the childe a fourme of conuersation with his father so that on his part there may be no occasion of disorder or disagreement giuen Guaz. Though by the discourse already made I haue partly learned how the father ought to behaue himself towards the childe yet I would gladly haue you briefly gather together the cheife points belonging to the father after to discend to the duties of the childe as you haue now made offer to doe Annib. I wil do so first I giue the father to vnderstand that there is nothing in this worlde wherein there ought more care and diligence to be bestowed then in the nurture and education of children for thereof proceedeth for the most part the maintenance or the decay of houses That he begin betime to furnish their tender mindes with the feare and knowledge of God of iustice and truth and with vertue good conditions in such sort that they learne to liue as if they were stil at the point to dye That he indeuour to keepe them in obedience rather by loue then by feare and to cause them to do well rather of their owne accord then by others inforcement for it is vnseemely for one that is free to liue in bondage neither is feare any good keeper of vertue That in teaching them he rather dally with them then terrifie them for no art or dysciplyne stycketh in the mynde firmely whiche is driuen into it forcibly That howe forwarde soeuer they be yet that he cease not to incourage and pricke them forwarde knowing that there is no horse but needeth the spurre That he suffer them not to be idle but to inure them to labour whereby they may be able to indure labour as Milo was able to carry a bull bicause he vsed to carry hym a calfe That he enter not into rages with his children for a good father vseth wisdome in steade of anger and awardeth a smal punishment to a great fault and yet is not so foolishe pitifull altogether to pardon it knowing that as by sparing the rod he may seeme to hate his childe so by wearing it the much he may abate his courage and make him dull and desperate That hee prouide them of good maysters and gouernoures continually to attend them for young children must be propped vp like yong trees least the tempest of vices either breake them or bowe them crooked That hee suffer them not in any wyse to haunt the company of seruantes and of the base sort of whom they will get suche corrupt speeches and naughty conditiones as they will neuer after forget That he bee carefull to marke in their childehood to what kynde of life they are naturally inclined that he may diligently sette them to it for an vntoward beginning hath euer an vnlucky ending That he teach thē to gouern thēselues w t the bridle the spur y t is with shame in dishonest thinges and desire of glory in good thinges That without iust occasion he vse no partialitie amongst his children vnles he be willing to set them together by the eares That in all his doings he shew himselfe graue and modest and by doing well himselfe giue his children an example to do the like remembring how shamefull a thing it is that he should be defiled with vyce of whom others should take example of vertue That in his old age when his sonnes are men growne through couetousnes he withhold not from them reasonable stipends to liue by but deale so with them that they may thinke they inioye their patrimony no lesse in his life time then if he were dead otherwise in stead of honouring him they wil wish him buried Finally that he be so carefull ouer his children that at his death he feele not his conscience charged in hauing to make accounte for his negligence in their behalfe perswading himselfe that amongest all the abuses of the world resited by an excellent authour in this sort A wise manne without workes an old man without religion a yong man without obedience a rich man without charity a woman without honesty a maister without vertue a Christian contentious a poore man proud a King vniust there is none worse then a negligent father And therefore being mou●e by nature pricked in conscience and bound in honour and honesty to cast a care for his children let hym not in 〈◊〉 wise cast of that care but follow the example of good Aeneas His sonne Ascanius was his only care Guaz. I pray you now that for your greater ease you wil likewise breifely comprehend the duty of the child Annib. If the childe consider wel the great and extreame loue of the father towardes him there shoulde neede no fourme of conuersation to be prescribed vnto him for that consideration would containe him in his duty and make him conforme himselfe to the will and pleasure of his father in all thinges I could bring many examples of pittifull fathers who vpon some mishap befallē to their children haue shewed their excessiue loue eyther by voluntary death or by some other dolorous

some infyrmitie of minde or body * Guaz. I cannot abide the fo●ly of some fathers who make some one of their children their darling and minion without seing any towardnesse in him in the world being not ashamed to let euery man know their fond and causelesse doting Annib. The Ape whiche had two yong ones at a litter whereof shee loued the one and cared nothing for the other was vpon occasion driuen to flie from her denne and hauing taken that which she loued in her armes and tied the other at her back in running she stumbled agaynst somewhat which made her fall and agaynste the harde grounde to kill her young one whiche shee hadde in her armes and loued so well but the other whiche was at her backe hadde no harme at all whereby a man may see that the Father oft tymes doth pennance for his doting and fonde offence for that for the moste parte those children which are moste made of fall out the worste Yea it often falleth out that the children of the right side by reason of their wanton and delicate bringing vp proue doltes fooles and simple sots whereas contrariwise those which come in at the backe doore beeing banished from their fathers house and driuen to shifte for themselues doe often times by their owne industrye and trauayle auaunce themselues to suche estate that they are in better case then their father and their lawfull brothers to whom ofte tymes they afoorde ayde and succour in their distresses Guaz. Wee may boldlye say then that the iniustice of the father breedeth disagreement betweene his children him howsoeuer that vnequall loue doth which I proposed Annib. Yea hardly but for that wee made mention of a merchaunt the father of Doctor●s scholers thervpon there commeth in my head an other occasion which breedeth iars betweene the father and the child which is when the father is inferiour in calling to the sonne as for example if y e father be an ignorant man or a plaine fellow of the countrey the sonne be learned or a braue courtier you shal find great difficultie to make these two agree together for the father according to his nature and his calling giueth his minde to base and vile things either knoweth not or esteemeth not y e highe degree of his sonne And though he speake nothing● of it yet hee is ill pleased in his minde to see his sonne keepe his Grauitie conuenient for his estate and to be so sumptuous in his Diet and apparell and hadde rather he woulde conuerte his gayne into Landes Cattell or some other commodity There are other some who are not so foolish but they knowe the worthinesse of their Children and what belongeth to their estate yet for that they are inferyoure to them they are greeued in their harts at it so that they labour alwayes to withstande both in word deed their preferment On the other side you shal see the sonne eyther for that he seeth his father not to account of him as others doe or for that he seeth him leade a filthy life being neuer desirous to come out of the myre withdraweth his affection from him and woulde not by his will haue him come at anye time into his sighte for that hee thinketh he doeth dishonour him and if hee bee not so wicked to wishe his death yet at leaste hee is well apayde when he seeth him for some sicknesse or infirmitie layd vp in some bye corner of the house Guaz. To this purpose I hearde talke the other daye of a wretch so miserable that he would neuer agree y t his sonne being a Doctor should keepe a man to wayte vpon him so that hee was fayne when hee wente abrode to retayne a poore man that dwelt by to follow him in steede of a man and one morning staying for his man at the gate to wayte on him to Masse and being very late the father bethinking himselfe of his owne miserablenesse and seeing how hardlye his some was bestead put on his Cloake and sayde vnto him Goe your waye to masse and I will followe you thinking that his sonne was suche a foole to accepte his offer and to shewe himselfe abroade in such shamefull forte Annib. I thinke he offered to wayte vpon his sonne rather for that he would not giue his poore neighbour his dinner then for any shame he had of his owne misery or respect of his sonnes honesty Guaz. Now we are fallen vpon this Example I woulde gladly know of you in this difference of degree and calling which ought to go formost of the father or the sonne Annib. This doubt hath been alredy decided by Taurus the Philosopher who being visited by a Romane President and by the Father of the sayd President and being only one chaire set while they were bringing another he desired the Father to sit him downe who answered that his sonne ought to sit first for that he was President but for al y t he requested him still to sit downe and that he woulde afterwarde shewe which of the two ought to haue the vpper hand The Father being set and afterwardes the sonne he gaue this sentence That in publique places and affayres the father being a priuate person ought to giue place to the sonne who is appoynted in office as he who presenteth the maiestye of the Prince or common wealth but otherwise in priuate places and at the assembly and meeting of friends the publique authoritie must giue place to the fatherly iurisdiction Guaz. By vertue of this sentence the father to the Doctour of whom we spake should that morning going to masse haue made his sonne follow him in his long gowne for that as then he was not in any office but only a Doctor whiche would haue been a goodly sight and haue made euerye one laugh at it albeit it had been but reason Annib. If this were to be laughed at the example of Sempronius Gracchus Consull of Rome was to be marueyled at who to keepe his state in publique meeting on Horsebacke his Father Q. Fab. Maximus the Proconsull commaunded his Sergeauntes to goe againste him and cause him to alight which he did quickly liking the better of his sonne for that he knewe so well to maintaine the maiestie of the Romane Empyre But to returne to our matter there is one occasion yet remaining of the disagreement betweene the Father and the childe whiche is when the Father will neuer suffer his children to come foorth of their infancy Guaz. How vnderstande you that Annib. Mary when eyther thorow the authoritie of olde age or thorow ambition or couetousnesse or too good opinion in his own sufficiencie the father is so desirous of keping his paternall iurisdiction that though his children bee ariued to mans estate and be perfectly accomplished euery way yet he will alowe them neither more liuing nor more liberty then they had when they were children Guaz. I thinke they haue iust cause to bee mal contents who