to his Will and Pleasure to do what he thinks best The happiness of Parents does not consist in having Children of this or that Sex Sometimes Sons who are most desired ordinarily may prove useless in the World yea very hurtful in many regards they may occasion great grief of Heart and lasting Anguish and Vexation to their Parents by their mad and foolish Courses and wicked doings And on the other hand Daughters may prove great Blessings in the World great Comforts to their Parents and great Examples of Piety and of Zeal for the honour of God On which accounts Parents ought to resign their will to God and be ready with all gratitude to accept whatever he bestows Secondly When a Child is born Parents ought with all thankfulness to return Praise to God who hath bestowed such a blessing upon them giving them a living Child sound and perfect in all its parts and proportions without either defect of necessary parts or excess and deformity thereof They ought to admire and adore the Powerful and Wise Providence of God which appears in framing and fashioning their Infant so curiously and wonderfully in the Womb in preserving it and making it grow up from a very small and imperfect beginning to such a bigness with all those comely shapes and proportions which they behold and at last in bringing it safely from the Womb which is one of the great and wonderful Works of the Power and Goodness of God tho it be little regarded because it is so common They ought to look upon their Children as given them of God to be taken care of both as to their Souls and Bodies to be bred up in his fear for his Honour and Glory to be made fit to serve him here and to live with him for ever hereafter The Soul being the chiefest part oâ— the Charge committed to Parents â— shall first shew what they ought to dâ— for their Childrens Souls The first Duty of Parents for the Souls of their Children is to Consecratâ— them to God in Baptism First They ought to Consecrate their Children to God in Baptism so soon as conveniently they can They cannot better express their gratitude to God for blessing them with Children than by presenting them to him again in this holy Ordinance that he may set his Seal upon them and admit them into his House and Family that he may bestow upon them the Priviledges of his Children and give them a Right and Title to the Blessedness the Grace and Glory purchased by Jesus Christ. It is for this End that Baptism is instituted not only to be a Ceremony of Admission into the Church but to Seal unto us the Pardon of our Sins to assure us of the Divine Favour to make us Members of Christ Heirs of God and Inheritours of the Kingdom of Heaven if we by wilful impenitency and unbelief do not afterwards hinder and frustrate the Virtue thereof It is not necessary for Parents to enquire how such things are done by Baptism it is enough for them to know That God hath appointed Baptism for those Ends and we are sure that He appoints nothing in vain Our Saviour is said Eph. 5. 26. To sanctify and cleanse his Church with the washing of Water by the Word And Tit. 3. 5. he is said to save us by the washing of Regeneration and renewing of the Holy Ghost And in the 22 d. of the Acts and the 16. it is said by Ananias unto Paul Arise and â—e Baptized and wash away thy Sins And St. Peter having spoken of Noahs being saved with his Family in the Ark he adds 1 Epist. 3 21. The like Figure whereunto even Baptism doth now also save us And St. Paul tells us 1 Cor. 12. 12 13. For as the Body is one and hath many members and all the members of that one Body being many are one Body So also is Christ. For by one Spirit are we all Baptized into one Body And Gal. 3. 26 27. He saith For ye are all the Children of God by Faith in Christ Jesus For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ Which words import not only our owning and acknowledging him as the Saviour of the World who alone is able to wash and cleanse us with his Blood but also our Professing our resolution to live holy lives to walk in newness of life according to his Example in token of which in the Ancient Church they who were baptized were presently cloathed with White Rayment to testify their resolution to live in holiness and to put off the Old man that is all their former Wicked deeds and Customs and filthy Practices Likewise Rom. 6. 3 and 4. it is thus written Know ye not that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his Death Therefore we are buried with him by Baptism into Death that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the Glory of the Father even so we also should walk in newness of Life These words import not only our belief of a Crucified Saviour who dyed and was buried for sin to save us from it but also our Repentance whereby we renounce Sin as dead and buried to it for the time to come The general Design of this Sacrament being sufficiently plain and clear from these and other Scriptures it is to little purpose and oftentimes it proves to very ill purpose to enquire any further as to particulars for by so doing a great many persons judging of Divine things by their own weak and foolish apprehensions have reasoned themselves if I may so speak both out of their Reason and Religion As to the Right of Children to Baptism It will appear if you Consider that the Covenant Blessing of God's being the God of Abraham and of his Seed Gen. 17. 7. is not only continued to those of the Jewish Nation who are converted to Christianity for if the first Fruit be holy the Lump is Holy and if the Root be Holy so are the Branches Rom. 11. 16. but is likewise extended to the Gentiles who by Faith in Christ are made one Body with the Jews and so have a Right to the Blessings promised to Abraham and to His Children Rom. 4. 9 10 11 12. Cometh this blessedness upon the Circumcision onely or upon the uncircumcision also For we say that Faith was reckoned to Abraham for Righteousness How was it then reckoned When he was in Circumcision or in uncircumcision Not in Circumcision but in uncircumcision And he received the sign of Circumcision a Seal of the Righteousness of the Faith which he had yet being uncircumcised That He might be the Father of them that believe tho they be not Circumcised that Righteousness might be imputed unto them also And the Father of Circumcision to them who are not of the Circumcision only but also walk in the Steps of that Faith of our Father Abraham which he had being yet uncircumcised From
Adversaries he will render to you according to your Works he will in no wise clear the Guilty Consider the terrible threatning which is mentioned Deut. 29. 19 20. against the Man who when he heareth the words of the Curse does bless himself in his Heart saying I shall have peace tho' I walk in the imagination of my heart to add drunkenness to thirst The Lord will not sparâ— him but the anger of the Lord and his jealousie shall smoke against that Man and all the Curses that are written in this Book shall lie upon him and the Lord shall blot out his Name from under Heaven Concerning the Duty of Parents when God removeth their Children by death THe Death of Children as well as Aged Persons falls out so very often that it cannot but be seasonable to a great many Parents to suggest to them some plain and easie Considerations which they may sometimes reflect upon and imprint on their minds that so they may not be surprised with the death of their Children nor swallowed up of excessive and immoderate grief Parents ought to consider when their Children dye first that it is the Lord who does it He who is Lord of Life who gave Life to themselves and to their Children is also Lord of death and removes out of the World whom and when he sees fit He is the great Potter and Man is the Clay which he hath formed and fashioned into a curious and beautiful shape and animated with an immortal Soul When he sees fit to break this brittle Vessel in pieces and to separate the Soul from it who can stay his Hand Or who dare say unto him what dost thou May not he do with his own what he thinks good Or must he give an account of his Actions unto the work of his own Hands He is infinitely great and powerful and therefore will do according to his own good pleasure He is infinitely wise and knows what 's best and fittest to be done He is infinitely good and kind and therefore will order all things for good And he is infinitely just and righteous and therefore can do no wrong It 's fit therefore that Parents when God removes their Children from them by Death submit chearfully to the will of him who is infinitely powerful wise good and just and that they adore him and say with Ely 1 Sam. 3. 18. It is the Lord let him do what seemeth him good And with the Royal Psalmist Ps. 39. 9. I was dumb I opened not my Mouth because thou didst it Secondly they should consider that their Children were born Mortal frail by Nature subject to a necessity of dying by their very composition and frame and also by the Decree of Heaven Heb. 9. 27. It is appointed for all Men once to dye And therefore when God sees fit to remove them by Death to make the House of Clay fall down about their Ears Parents ought not to be surprised This is nothing but what falls out daily Some are going out of the World and some are coming into it Some are a great while upon the Stage and some but a very short while some no sooner enter upon it but presently they are gone and are seen no more some take a few turns and then they are withdrawn some tarry longer and Act a great part on the Stage for a considerable time and give hopes of yet greater Actions and Performances but on a sudden they are gone likewise as a shadow and all their own designs and projects and the hopes and expectations of others fall to the ground All this happens every day in the Course of things here in the World and therefore Parents have no reason to think it strange when they see their Children dye The thing that hath been it is that which shall be and that which is done is that which shall be done and there is no new thing under the Sun Eccles. 1. 9. And as it is with Men so it is with all things else which live upon the Earth or grow out of it Some live longer and some a shorter while than others of the same kind Some prosper and thrive and others decay and perish Some things grow up in the Morning and are withered e're Night Some things grow apace till they are very near the time of ripeness and perfection and then somewhat happeneth which prevents the perfect growth and makes the goodly appearance come to nothing Now what are Men Moses in his Prayer Ps. 90. 5 6. tells us In the Morning they are like grass which groweth up In the Morning it flourisheth and groweth up In the Evening it is cut down and withereth And to the same purpose the Psalmist David speaketh Psal. 103. 15 16. As for Man his days are as grass as a flower of the field so he flourisheth for the Wind passeth over it and it is gone and the place thereof shall know it no more Likewise Esa. 40. 6 7. it is thus written The Voice said Cry And he said What shall I Cry All flesh is grass and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field The grass withereth the flower fadeth because the Spirit of the Lord bloweth upon it Surely the People is grass By all which it appears what Man is by Nature to wit a very weak and vanishing thing soon nipt and brought to nothing like the tender Grass and the Flower of the Field which is more exposed to the Winds and other inconveniences than the Flowers of the Garden which the Gardiner preserves and secures The Consideration of these things will tend mightily to quiet the minds of those who calmly and wisely reflect upon them when God removes their Children or other Relations from them by Death Their case is not singular it is that which is common and usual amongst Men it is according to the course of Nature for a mortal thing to die Plutarch reports of Anaxagoras an Ancient Philosopher That when he was Discoursing to his Hearers concerning the Causes of Natural Things One brought him the news of his Sons Death upon which after a little pause he said to those who were present I knew I begat a Son that was Mortal The Consideration of this did quiet the Thoughts of this Heathen But what if the manner of the death of your Children be somewhat extraordinary by some sudden and unusual Accident or by some strange and odd Distemper are you on this account to allow your selves in the excesses of Sorrow and Mourning No in no ways You are not therefore to be transported into immoderate grief and mourning Shall you be vexed and disquieted because a Worm did eat up your pleasant Fruit or because the stormy Wind did blow away your lovely Flowers Are you therefore to be enraged and mad with anger against the Worms or against the Winds What would it mend the matter if you should give way to your passion and anger never so much in such a case
to their Fighting and Wrestling against their Enemies and bestowed on them a Crown of Glory and an Everlasting Inheritance when he hath broken their Bonds asunder wherein they were held and kept in Captivity and Slavery and hath put them into a state of perfect and glorious Freedom The consideration of these things should mitigate and asswage your Sorrow and Grief and fill you with unspeakable Comfort and Gladness But some are apt to say I should rejoyce if I thought that my Children who are dead were in Heaven But this I do not know As to this you are not to trouble your thoughts about it for God does not see fit to acquaint you with such things Secret things belong to God and things revealed to us and to our Children Deut. 29. 29. If your Children while they were alive minded good things and if you did your part to instruct them and to make them what God requires them to be you are not to be any further solicitous about their Everlasting state You are to hope that they are very happy and you are to comfort your selves with these thoughts Others are apt to say I am afraid that my Children are not in a happy state they did very bad things and used bad Company and therefore I have cause to fear and to be troubled about them now that they are dead As to such Parents who have had wretched Children they ought not to suffer their minds to be disordered and oppressed with Grief and Sorrow because their Children who died were wicked If they did their Duty to make them better if they advised and admonished them if they reproved them and as was fitting chastened them if they desired others to deal with them to see what they could do towards the reclaiming of them if they prayed to God for them and gave them a good Example They are not any further to be troubled and disquieted concerning them when God takes them into his own hand He is wise and good holy and just he does all things well for excellent and glorious ends and therefore Parents ought to leave them to his Disposal who is the Supreme Governour of the World and Judge of the whole Earth Whatever he does whether in Mercy or Justice is always best The Inhabitants of the other World who are translated into a state of Heavenly Glory are not under the power of such passions and partialities as govern us here below The glorified Parents of damned Children are not under any uneasiness on that or any other account The Will of God and his Glory is their all they know that whatever he does is most perfectly just and good and for his Honour and therefore all things afford them great Pleasure and Delight true and lasting Joy and Satisfaction of mind There 's nothing able to interrupt the happiness and joy of those in Glory They are perfectly and eternally delivered from all sort of evils both of sin and punishment They are placed above the reach of whatever may render them in the least uneasie But there is a third sort of those who are troubled not only because their Children were bad and prophane but because they were so through their example or neglect As for such I have already in general shewed them what they ought to do I shall only add That since they have been so faulty and defective in their Duty towards their Deceased Children they ought to be the more careful of those who are yet alive and to do all that is possible to make them what God requires them to be As to those who have no more Children left them it would be very fit for them to take into their care one or more Children upon whom they may bestow all that pains and care which they should have bestowed in the right Education of their own and endeavour by God's help to make them truly Pious and Religious and Patterns of all sorts of Virtue to others This is an Office which will be very acceptable to God and one of the best demonstrations which Parents can make of the sincerity of their Repentance for their not having done their Duty to their own Children Fourthly Consider that there will be a Resurrection of all those that are dead The mighty Power of God which made all things out of nothing will also gather together the scattered dust of those who are deceased and will reform and rebuild as it were their bodies which are fallen down and consumed He will raise them up again in a more excellent perfect and glorious manner Then shall you meet with your Children and Friends who died in the Lord and behold them after another manner than you saw them here in this World Instead of weak and diseased bodies you shall see them strong vigorous and lively bodies Instead of frail and dying bodies you shall see immortal and incorruptible bodies Instead of filthy and vile bodies you shall see pure and glorious bodies And you shall see them so as to be with them for ever so as never any more to be separated from them by death or any other thing for you and they shall die no more 1 Cor. 15. 42 43 44. So also is the resurrection of the dead It is sown in corruption it is raised in incorruption it is sown in dishonour it is raised in glory It is sown in weakness it is raised in power It is sown a natural body it is raised a spiritual body And vers 53. This corruptible must put on incorruption and this mortal must put on immortality How gladly would poor People part with their dearest Children if they could be assured of seeing them again in an honourable state and condition exalted to great Dignity and Honour And will not you who have the hopes of a glorious Resurrection be comforted in the absence of your Children When their merciful God and Father takes them away from you unto himself not to do them hurt but good to make them happy and blessed with himself for ever to bestow upon them what Eye hath not seen nor Ear heard nor which hath entred into the Heart of Man to conceive Consider the words of the Apostle to the Thessalonians 1 Epist. 4. 13 14. But I would not have you to be ignorant Brethren concerning them which are asleep that ye sorrow not even as others which have no hope For if we believe that Jesus dyed and rose again even so them which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him Fifthly Your giving way to excessive Grief and Mourning can do you no good but will certainly do you a great deal of hurt and mischief in many respects It cannot bring back your Children that are dead Though you should break your Hearts into a thousand pieces by your weeping and mourning and waste and consume your years in constant heaviness and sorrow tho' you should never henceforth allow your selves one moment of relaxation of mind after all you must go to
from Church 66 Why the Lord's Day ought to be kept 67 Children are to be possessed with a great regard for the Ministers of the Gospel 68 7. Duty to make them understand their Baptismal Covenant 73 8. Duty to encourage them to come to the Lord's Table 77 9. Duty to take care that they accustom themselves to self-Examination 79 10. Duty to observe what Providences they meet with and to acquaint them therewith in due time as also with some of the most remarkable Providences which either they to wit the Parents themselves or others have met with 86 Some Directions to Parents how to render their Endeavours effectual 95 1. They must give their Children good Example 95 2. They must chuse good Company for them 98 The great Danger that Children are in from Flatterers 99 Advice to those who send their Children abroad to travel 102 3. They must as need requires reprove and chasten their Children and how 106 Parents ought in correcting their Children to follow the Example of our Heavenly Father 111 Parents must be careful not to oppose one another when they correct and reprove their Children 112 4. They must carefully improve the Time of their Childrens Sickness or of any other Afflictions they meet with towards the making of them wiser and better 113 5. They must daily pray to God for them 115 Against those who curse their Children 118 Some Motives to excite Parents to do these things 1. Motive from the Divine Command 120 2. Motive from its being a work worthy of the utmost care and pains of Parents 122 3. Motive from the Rewards which attend those who faithfully do these things 123 4. Motive from the great Benefit which comes both to Church and State by the good Education of Children 127 5. Motive from the sad Effects which attend the neglect of these Duties 135 PART II. The Duties of Parents as to their Childrens Bodies 1. DVty it belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children 141 2. Duty about Childrens Diet. 145 3. Duty about Childrens Apparel 146 The Duty of Parents as to the outward Estate of their Children 1. Duty to chuse a fit Trade for them 148 Advice to those who have great Estates and Riches to bestow on their Children 150 Advice to those who intend to set apart one or more of their Children for the Holy Ministry 157 2. Duty about disposing of them in Marriage 162 The sad Effects of Marrying very leud and profligate Persons 164 3. Duty about providing somewhat that may be the foundation of their comfortable subsistance in the World 167 Great Prudence and Caution ought to be used in bestowing their Worldly Goods on their Children 172 4. Duty to have their Will and Testament in Readiness 174 The great Inconvenience of delay in this matter 174 Great care to be taken in the choice of Guardians for Children 178 The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents 180 Concerning the Duty of Parents when God removeth their Children by Death 1. They ought to consider that it is the Lord who does it 187 2. They ought to consider that their Children were born mortal 189 3. They should consider from whence and whither they are gone 197 4. They should consider that there will be a Resurrection 202 5. They should consider that their giving way to excessive Grief and Mourning can do no good but will certainly do a great deal of hurt 205 The Duty of Parents on their Death-Bed 209 1. Duty to give their Children good Advice 210 2. Duty to pray to God for them 212 3. Duty to commend them to some Faithful Friends 212 Concerning the Duties of Step-Fathers and Step-Mothers 214 Some Motives to stir them up to do their Duty 218 The Duties of Guardians 223 Some Motives to excite Guardians to do their Duty 225 A Morning Prayer for Parents or Masters of Families with their Family 232 An Evening Prayer for Parents or Masters of Families with their Family 237 A short Prayer for the Morning or Evening when through Extraordinary Occasions there is not time for the other 242 A Prayer to be taught Children when hey begin to speak 245 A Prayer for Children when they come to be four or five Years old 246 A Prayer for Children when they come to twelve or fourteen years of Age sooner or later according to the ripeness of their understanding 247 Grace before Meat 251 After Meat 252 ERRATA PAg. 16. line 26. read intelligible p. 22. l. 22. for when r. whom p. 44. l. 9. r. infallibly p. 45. l. 2. for having r. have p. 68. l. 22. r. Ministrations p. 87. l. 24. r. stir up p. 97. l. 22. r. And besides the influence p. 101. l. 21. r. Attia p. 126. l. 12 r. lustre p. 154. l. 1. r. of p. 159. l. 13. point thus early and late to be p. 178. l. 7. for are r. is p. 187. l. 25. point thus sees fit He is the great Potter and. p. 193. l. 28. for hath r. had p. 215. l. 1 point thus account They. p. 238. l. 4. point thus Counsels and despised As to some other mistakes in the Printing they will not much hinder the Reader ERRATA in Advice to Children PAg. 3. l. 18. r. Disposition p. 9. l. 12 and 13. r. tho Canaan l. 29. for ye r. thee p. 29. l. 16. for Cat r. Cock p. 114. l. 5. r. Servant p. 139. l. 4. r. hath called p. 150. l. 15. and 16. r. according ADVICE TO PARENTS PART I. IT has been always reckoned by the best and Wisest men a thing absolutely necessary towards a Reformation in the World to begin with the Instruction and Education of Children those of elder Years being ordinarily so rooted and hardned in their sinful habits that for the most part there 's very little can be done to reform them and make them better So sensible were some ancient States of this that they made particular Laws for Educating Children thinking it too great a Trust to leave it altogether in the Power of Parents to train up their Children according to their Humour and Fancy Amongst Christians there are few restraints upon Parents in most Countries it being in their Power to Educate their Children as they think good It is therefore of no small Importance for them to know what their Duty is that they may approve themselves to God in doing whatever he requires towards their Children for their Souls their Bodies and their outward Estate The Design of this Treatise is to furnish those who want such helps with some plain and easie Directions that they may know how to act the Part of Christian Parents First while Children are yet in the Womb it is the Duty of Parents to endeavour to bring their mind to an indifferency as to the Sex which shall be born not to prescribe to God by their impatient desires and their bold asking of him a Child of this or that Sex but to leave it entirely
fâ—â—vourable construction than to judâ— amiss of any body tho' but once thâ— this is a Sin which the other is not But tho' Parents ougâ— thus to endeavour to frâ— their Children from thâ— Jealous and Uncharitable Temper yâ— care must be taken that they be nâ— too credulous apt to believe whateveâ— is spoken without any regard to thâ— Authority and Credibility the Trutâ— and Sincerity of the Speaker For 〈◊〉 being of such a Temper as this thâ— are in danger perpetually of being imposed upon and betrayed to a greâ— many inconveniences both in theâ— Words and Actions Any body who has but Wit enough to find out their Temper may very easily make a prey of them and by false Relations and cunning Insinuations may occasion their saying and doing a great many things very hurtful to themselves or others or at least very silly and impertinent which will expose them to a great deal of Contempt and Scorn Parents therefore ought to look upon it as a matter of no small importance to preserve their Children from being too credulous they ought to Teach them to enquire into the Truth of what is spoken and to consider who the Person is that speaketh For if it be manifest that he who speaketh is ordinarily given to Lying and that he makes no Conscience of his words it is so far from being a fault not to believe him that on the contrary 't is a piece of very great silliness to make any account of what he says until it be confirmed by Persons of known Truth and of unquestioned Integrity If they are of an Envious Temper and cannot endure that others be Loved as well as they or that others should have better and fine things than they or ev'n as good Endeavour to cure them of this Distemper by all such Arguments and Methods as their years are capable of Shew them how great mischief theiâ— Envy does them how it robs them oâ— the Happiness and Comfort of their Lives and eats out all that Sweetness and Pleasure they might otherwise taâ—â— in what they enjoy Shew them what a foolish thing their Envy is it cannot affect or hurt others it only hurtâ— themselves which it does with a witness for as Solomon says Prov. 14. 30. Envy is the rottenness of the bones That is it wasts and consumes to the very Bones those who entertain so unlucky a Guest it makes their Life most miserable If you perceive them to be very impatient when they have not presently what they desire or when any uneasie thing happeneth unto them for example when their Head akes a little or when any other part of their Body is affected more or less with somewhat that is painful and smarting c. Endeavour to make them of a patient Spirit teach them to bear their burthen without much complaining or making an indecent noise Make them sensible that all those things which are so painful and afflictive to them are order'd by the wise and just Providence of God to try them to humble them to raise their Hearts to Heaven to purifie them from their dross to prepare them for greater sufferings to stir them up to call upon him and to learn to depend upon him and to resign themselves entirely to his Holy Will and Pleasure Shew them that whatever they suffer is far less than they deserve that a great many Excellent and Holy Persons have endured much more severe things without complaining or murmuring yea that ev'n some Heathens have with great firmness and constancy of mind endured a great deal of pain and torture Above all suggest unto them what our Blessed Lord and Master suffered in his Soul and in his Body and how for our sakes he endured all with wonderful patience and with an entire submission to the will of his Father How He was led as a sheep to the slaughter How He was oppressed and afflicted and yet opened not his mouth Shew theâ— how it becometh them who by Profession are Christ's followers to run with patience the race set before them looking unto Jesus Encourage them also with the hopes of an exceeding and eternal weight of Glory which attends those who endure these lighâ— Afflictions which last but for a moment If you see that they love their Belly too well and are apt to Eat and Drink more than is meet and that they are too desirous of such food as is most costly and chargeable endeavour to restrain their Gluttonous Appetite and to keep them within the bounds of Moderation and Sobriety Teach them to be well pleased with plain and ordinary fare to consider that any thing tho' never so course is better than they deserve that a great many excellent Persons have been reduced to such straits as to think it a Feast to have enough of Bread and Water Tell them how meanly a great many People both Young and Old live at this very instant and therefore that they ought to be content with such Food as is provided for them to use it soberly and to be heartily thankful to God from whom they have Meat and Drink and all other things which are for the comfort and conveniency of their Lives If you observe in them any thing that looks like a tendency to an Unchaste Behaviour delay not to admonish them shew them the evil of such things and the dreadful consequences thereof both to Soul and Body Endeavour to prevent their falling into so horrible a pit out of which very few escape who have once fal'n thereinto and of which the Wiseman says Prov. 22. 14. He that is abhorred of the Lord shall fall therein and again ch 2. 18 19. Speaking of the Adulteress or Whore he saith Her House inclineth unto death and her paths unto the dead none that go unto her return again neither take they hold of the paths of Life Shew them into how great shame and disgrace and into how much Misery such Persons ordinarily bring themselves Suggeâ— to them how many other Sins attend this Vice as its inseparable Companions whereby the Soul is so deeply corrupted as to lose all Sense of any thing that is truly excellent and worthy of a Rational Creature Strive to make them sensible of the miserable bondage of those who are under the Power and Tyranny of their unruly Lusts and Appetites who are enslaved to the Pleasures of the Flesh. Endeavour to make them tast of those solid and manly Delights which are only to be found in the ways of true Vertue and unfeigned Piety which are infinitely more pure and lasting than those brutish Pleasures which Sensualists pursue And do what in you lies to preserve them from seeing and hearing any thing that is Unchaste and Impure or has the appearance of it If you find that at any time they Curse and Swear and take the Name of God in vain endeavour to rescue them from so horrid and dangerous a Sin Shew them that they
and to do The careful and Religious use of it would tie Children more strictly to mind the great concerns of their Souls it would afford them occasion to consider what it is to have been Baptised and to be a Christian It would work in them a more Powerful Sense of the Obligations of Christianity and make them more careful to live up to that Holy Religion whereof they made so publick a Profession It would make them more afraid to do bad things against which they had protested so solemnly And not only fear but shame in this case would restrain them from doing wickedly This would be to young People a great defence against Temptations Bad Men would not so boldly ask them to sin if they knew they had openly and Solemnly disowned and renounced them and all their wicked Courses and if they were tempted they would be more apt to say in their own minds Shall we do such wicked things and run the hazard of being Covenant-breakers and Perjured Persons Shall we commit such Villanies and practice such Abominations and thereby break our Solemn Vow and Engagement Shall we by our Folly and Impiety give occasion of Offence and Scandal to the Church of Christ which he hath purchased with his Blood Shall we renounce the Captain of our Salvation and prove Deserters who have so lately vowed to renounce the Devil and all his Works What a mighty defence would this be to your Children when Assaulted by the fiery Darts of the Devil the Vanities of the World and the Lusts of their own Deceitful Hearts to consider that by their own actual Consent they have renounced all these and given up themselves into the Hands of God to be kept by his Mighty Power through Faith unto Salvation They have Vowed and they ought to perform it to keep his Righteous Judgments These things being impartially considered should mightily excite Parents to see that their Children do openly and Solemnly proâ—ess their Faith in Christ Crucified their Resolution to Obey him to Serve him and Love him to fight under his Banner against Sin the Devil and the World and to continue his Faithful Souldiers and Servants unto their lives end Is not this your Glory that your Children are Christians And do you think it a Shame or Dishonour for you or them if they make a Solemn Profession of their Christianity that they avoâ— their Religion and will by God's help make good the Promise which was made in their Name in Baptism Of so great Importance is this Custom that the greatest Men amongst the Reformers did highly commend it and did earnestly wish that it might be restored as a thing of great use towards the reviving the true Spirit of Christianity 8. Duty to encourage them to come to the Lord's Table Eightly When they are fit for it you should encourage them to come to the Table of the Lord that they may be strengthened in their most Holy Faith and further assured of the Love of God that they may make a publick Profession of their Christianity of their Love to their Lord and Master Jesus of their Charity to all Men and of their sincere Affection to those who are Christ's Members and Followers They ought to make use of this Holy Sacrament that their Love to their dearest Lord and Saviour may be kindled and enflamed by remembring his Love and shewing forth his Death that they may bind themselves more strictly to Serve and Obey him and to fulfil their Baptismal Engagement How glad should Parents be to see their Children advanced to this Honour to eat and drink at their Lord's Table to partake of so great a Testimony of his Kindness and Friendship How earnestly should they encourage them to embrace this opportunity of renewing their Covenant with the Lord to live and to die his Faithful Servants Do you not desire to have them saved to have them delivered from their Lusts and Passions their Pride and Vanity their Bitterness and Wrath their Malice and Envy and from all manner of Sin and Folly To be made pure and clean in Heart and Life to be made meet for that Holy Place where no unclean thing can enter Do you not desire that their Sins may be blotted out that they may be washed with the Blood of their Saviour And yet do you not advise and entreat them for their Souls Health and Safety to come to the Holy Communion which is designed as a means for these excellent and great Ends and Purposes to as many as are qualified according to the Terms of the Gospel that is who unfeignedly repent of their Sins and believe in the Lord Jesus with all their Heart But alas how far are too many Parents from doing this for their Children How many do either wholly or for the most part neglect and slight this Holy Ordinance themselves as if our Lord had without any just or necessary ground appointed it How can such Persons expect the precious Fruits of the Death of Christ who will not remember his Death when he so lovingly and kindly calls and invites them to do it Do this says he in remembrance of me What a great Argument is it of a wonderful decay of true Piety and Religion in the World when Men do thus despise and set at naught the kindness of their Lord and Saviour When they refuse to do a thing so just and reasonable and so easie as this is which tends so much to his Glory and their own true Happiness and Welfare both here and hereafter 9. Duty to take care that they accustom themselves to Self-Examination Ninthly When they are fit for it see that they accustom themselves to Self-Examination that they spend a few Moments every Night if another time of the Day be not more convenient for them to do it in in calling themselves to an account that they may see what good or what evil they have done that they may give Praise and Thanks unto God for any thing they have done which was good and right and that they may confess their Sins and Follies begging his Gracious Pardon and renewing their Purposes and Resolutions to do better for the time to come But besides these daily short Reviews of their Heart and Life 't is fit to call â—pon them when they are well advanced iâ— Years to a more strict and Solemn Examination of themselves to Prayer and Fasting as their Age and Strength can bear it This may be done at first once a Month or once iâ— two Months or once a Quarter at least but after some time it may be done oftner according as your necessary Affairs and your Circumstances in the World will permit They who are Great and Rich ought so much the more frequently to call upon their Children to those private extraordinary Excrcises of Devotion because their outward Estate in the World does ordinarily afford them enough of time and leisure for such Performances if they will but redeem it from Idleness and
Ecclesiasticus 33. 18 19 c. Hear me O ye great Men of the People and hearken with your Ears ye Rulers of the Congregation Give not thy Son and Wife thy Brother and Friend power over thee while thou livest and give not thy Goods to another lest it repent thee and thou intreat for the same again As long as thou livest and hast Breath in thee give not thy self over to any For better it is that thy Children should seek to thee than that thou shouldest stand to their Courtesie In all thy works keep to thy self the Preeminence leave not a stain in thine Honour At the time when thou shalt end thy days and finish thy Life distribute thy Inheritance 4 thly 'T is the Duty of Parents to have their Will and Testament in readiness They ought while they are in Health to determine the several Proportions of their Worldly Goods which they intend to bestow on their Children and not to leave the doing of this till the very immediate approach of Death A wise Man ought so to dispose of his affairs in time that when he comes to die he may have as little work to do as is possible 'T is very unfit on many accounts to leave the ordering of those things which relate to a Man's Estate unto the last hour For 1. No Man knows if he shall have a leisurely Passage out of the World so as to have time to settle his affairs a thousand Accidents may prevent this of which see Discourse about the right way of Improving our Time Motive 2 d. 2 dly Tho' you should have time on your Death-Bed for ordering your Temporal Affairs yet what signifies Time considered abstractly and separately if you are not fit to use it For ought you know your Sickness then may so affect your Head that you shall not be able to act any longer as rational Creatures but must be governed and taken care of by others as if you were Children upon the Breasts or perhaps as Persons in a much more sad and lamentable condition Now therefore it is fit for all who are wise to provide against such Casualties and not to delay so important and necessary a work to an uncertain Moment 3 dly Supposing you have a leisurely passage out of this Life together with the use of your Reason all the while yet consider that you are likely to have enough to do in your last hours tho' the ordering of your Temporal concerns do not then lie upon your Hands Your Spiritual Enemies will very probably at that time muster up all their Forces and use their utmost Effort either to conquer you or to frighten and disturb you You will then find that all your Preparation is little enough that you may finish your course with Joy The sight of Death will make you see a great many things far otherwise than you saw them in time of Health The things of this Life will then appear very little and inconsiderable and Eternity will appear as a vast and boundless Ocean Your good actions will appear but very few and imperfect and your Sins and Follies very many and great Thus it is generally with the best and most Holy Persons and therefore 't is your wisest and safest course to dispatch not only as much of your great Business as you can before the approach of Death but likewise to dispose of your Worldly Concerns in such a manner that they may not prove a hindrance and a burthen to you at that time when you are to have a sharp Conflict with the King of Terrors But besides all these Considerations which ought to excite you to put your House in order in time of your Health consider farther that by so doing you will prevent a great deal of Trouble and Confusion and of Strife and Division which oft-times happen amongst Children when their several Portions are not assigned them by the Will of their Parents How sad is it to reflect upon so many Instances of this kind as have happened in our days It cannot but be look'd upon as a great Reproach to our Holy Religion to see Brethren and other near Relations contending and going to Law with one another and thereby laying the Foundation of lasting Variance and Discord of Bitterness and Wrath of Anger and Clamour of Malice and Envy c. which too often are concluded with the Desolation and Destruction of one or other of the contending Parties if not of the whole Family How needful therefore is it for Parents to make their Will in good time when they are in Health when their Understanding is good when their Memory is perfect when they are able to think of Business and to judge calmly and discreetly of what they do when they can call to mind what they owe and what is owing to them And because of the great Falsehood and Wickedness of the World by which it often happens that the true sense of Mens words are perverted it is likewise very fit that Parents in setting their House in Order have the advice of those who are Skilful Upright and Faithful Persons by whose Assistance their Will may be framed in such Terms and Expressions as may so far as is possible prevent the Cavils of Crafty and Ungodly Men. As Parents ought to use a great deal of Caution and Circumspection in all things relating to their last Will so particularly in the choice of Guardians for their Children who after their own Decease may act the part of Parents towards them and may promote their Happiness and Welfare both in Temporal and Spiritual things If you know amongst your near Relations those who are Wise and Prudent True and Upright Persons who fear and love God and of whose sincere kindness you have had long experience 't is very reasonable to prefer them before Strangers But if you have found others more sincere and upright more prudent and discreet more kind and loving more constant in their Friendship and more faithful to your true Interest than your nearer Relations have been you ought rather to entrust your Children to their care than to those who tho' your Kinsmen have given you no great ground to expect much kindness and faithfulness at their hands towards your Children If they have not been very faithful to you 't is but madness to expect that they should prove more Faithful to them Tho' they may grow better yet no wise Man ought to trust so great and dear a concern to such an uncertainty Thus I have shewed you what are the principal Duties you owe to the Souls and Bodies of your Children and what you are to do for them as to their outward Estate The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents FRom what hath been said you may see what a weighty and difficult Charge you have the sense whereof should excite you to beg of God earnestly every day that he would direct and assist you to perform the Duties that belong
to Christian Parents That you may the better act your part 't is fit for you when you call your selves to an account about your Lives and Conversations to make enquiry particularly how you perform the Duties of Parents towards your Children as to their Souls their Bodies and Outward Concerns And if upon serious enquiry you find that you sincerely endeavour to do whatever you know your selves to be bound to do for them then bless and praise God who gives you both to will and to do according to his good Pleasure Beg his pardon for those Imperfections and Defects that attend all Humane Actions Resolve to go on and not to grow weary in your Duty towards them that so they may be as happy in all respects as is possible for you by the help of God to make them But if upon inquiry you find that you have been very negligent in your duty towards your Children that you have done very little good for their Souls and not what you should and might have done for their Bodies and outward Estate and that perhaps you have done them a great deal of hurt by your Evil Counsel and Prophane and Wretched Example that you have led them on in the Broad Way which leads to the Chambers of Death that you have robbed God who bestowed them on you of their Service and Obedience and have made them the Servants of Sin that you have contributed to the making them Heirs of Wrath and Children of Disobedience who were made by their Baptism Children of God and Inheritors of the Kingdom of Heaven that you have done what tended to destroy eternally those Souls and Bodies which God intrusted with you that you might take care of them and do what you could to make them happy If I say upon enquiry into your hearts and lives you find your selves guilty of those things how great reason have you to be in bitterness and grief of Heart to weep and lament to abhor your selves in Dust and Ashes to confess and acknowledge your Sins with great Humility and Contrition to implore the Divine Mercy and Forgiveness with all earnestness for the sake of his dear Son to resolve and purpose sincerely to amend your ways and doings to beg Grace from God that he would assist you that he would compass you about with his Salvation and never leave you nor forsake you that he would give you his Holy Spirit to sanctifie you to wash and cleanse you to lead and guide you to support and strengthen you to revive and quicken you to carry you from strength to strength and from Grace to Grace till you come and appear before him in Sion Consider the particular things wherein you have hurt the Souls of your Children and failed in your Duty to them as to their Bodies and Outward Concerns And the more you find you have done amiss resolve so much the more to be zealous to do them good to double your diligence in promoting the welfare and happiness both of their Souls and Bodies Tell them so far as is meet what you now see and feel let them know that you have been out of the way that you have misled them and brought both your selves and them in danger of being undone and ruined Eternally Tell them what you resolve to do and what you and they ought to do and must do or else that you will certainly perish Delay not to do this one moment fly like a Bird out of the Snare of the Fowler Your Souls lie at the stake and therefore do what Men use to do to save their Lives Skin for Skin and all that a Man hath will be give for his Life Men are ready to part with any thing to save their Lives They 'l part with House and Lands with Silver and Gold with their whole Estate and Substance to save their Bodies alive which must die at last and for ought they know may die within a very few days or hours How much more ought you that you may save your own Souls and the Souls of your Children to part with your â—ile and unruly Lusts and Passions your vain foolish Habits and Customs which are your reproach and dishonour which are the worst things in the World which can do you no good if you hold them still but will certainly do you a great deal of mischief They will prove the cause of your destruction they will deprive you of all that is good and excellent they will cut you off from the favour of God the Love of Christ and the fellowship of the Blessed Spirit they will likewise deprive you of the Assistance and Ministry of the Holy Angels and the Comfortable Society of the Saints departed they will exclude you for ever from the Kingdom of Heaven the Crown of Righteousness the Peace the Joy the Love and Glory of the future State All this your sins will deprive you of and instead thereof they will expose you to the Wrath of God to the devouring fire to Everlasting Burnings to blackness of darkness to weeping and gnashing of Teeth to the wretched and cursed Company of Devils and damned Souls to the Worm which never dieth which will gnaw you and torment you for ever And will you chuse all this rather than part with your Lusts that you may be for ever happy and have fulness of Joy and Pleasures for evermore Will you be so mad as to prefer Hell and Death everlasting Misery and Woe to Heaven and Everlasting Life to Blessedness and Glory And will you still continue to be so cruel to your poor Children as to draw them along with you to the bottomless Pit Now is the time for you to become either happy or miserable if you repent and amend and act the part of Wise and Religious Parents you may be happy for God will have Mercy upon you Isa. 55. 7. Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous Man his Thoughts And let him return unto the Lord and he will have Mercy upon him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon Follow therefore the Example of the Psalmist Psal. 119. 59 60. I thought on my ways and turned my feet unto thy Testimonies I made haste and delayed not to keep thy Commandments Resolve without delay to forsake your wicked Customs and Practices Begin in earnest to work out your own Salvation and do all that lies in your power to make your Children wise and good But if instead of this you continue in your sin and folly setting at naught God's Counsels and despising his Reproofs putting the Evil day far from you promising your selves peace and safety tho' you walk after your own Hearts Lusts making a mock at Sin and laughing at all that is sacred and serious and by your wicked Example destroying the Souls and Bodies of your poor Children then assure your selves God will not be mocked he will at last whet his Sword and bend his Bow and make ready his Arrows against his
This would only multiply your losses by making you lose not only your Fruit and your Flowers but your selves too Which they all do who lose their Patience in which it is that we possess our Souls When therefore your Children are removed from you by Death in some unusual and extraordinary manner you ought to look beyond Diseases or Accidents unto the Lord of Life and Death who by his Providence ordereth not only their death but the manner of it If the Sparrows fall not to the Ground that is die not without your Father You may be sure your Children do not die by chance or without the particular disposal of their heavenly Father As to the particular grounds and reasons for which God does after such a manner see fit to put an end to your Childrens days you are not to be too curious and inquisitive The Counsels of God are a great deep His ways are in the deep waters and none by searching can find him out unto perfection Job 11. 7. Upon such occasions all ought to remember the words of our Lord when they told him of the Galileans whose Blood Pilate hath mingled with their Sacrifices Luke 13. 2 3 4 5. Suppose ye that these Galileans were Sinners above all the Galileans because they suffered such things I tell you Nay But except ye repent ye shall all likewise perish Or those eighteen upon whom the Tower of Siâ—oe fell and slew them think ye that they were sinners above all Men that dwelt in Jerusalem I tell you Nay But except ye repeâ—t ye shall all likewise perish We see what was Aarons Carriage when God removed his two Sons Nadab and Abihu by a very extraordinary stroke Levit. 10. 2. There went Fire from the Lord and devour'd them c. And v. 3. 't is said That Aaron 〈◊〉 his peace He did not murmur against the Justice of God or complain as if he had been too severe No he was silent He submitted to the Will 〈◊〉 God and considered that the Honour of God ought to be dearer to him thaâ— the Lives of his two Sons In like manner we see how Job carried himself when God removed 〈◊〉 seven Sons and three Daughters all at one blow in an extraordinary manner Job 1. 18 19. Thy Sons and thy Daâ—ghters were eating and drinking Wine 〈◊〉 their eldest Brothers House And 〈◊〉 there came a great Wind from the Wilderness and smote the four Corners 〈◊〉 the House and it fell upon the young Men and they are dead This was sad news to the good old Man who had â—â—rd so much ill news before But yet for all this you see how patiently â—e hare his Affliction He fell down â—pon the Ground and Worshipped and said Naked came I out of my Mothers Womb and naked shall I return thither The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken 〈◊〉 blessed be the Name of the Lord Job 1. 20 21. This good Man was so far from Cursing God which Satan said â—e would do that he humbly adored and worshipped him He was so far from Blasphemeing God and from entertaining any dishonourable Thoughts of him as if he had done any thing which he ought not to have done that 〈◊〉 the contrary he approved of all he acquiesced in the Divine pleasure he considered that all that he once enjoyed was a free and undeserved gift from God which he so gave as still to reserve to himself the Supreme Power of disposing of it as he should think good and therefore when all was taken away from him he blessed the Name of the Lord he did not quarrel with the Divine Providence but was heartily thankful not only for the former Mercies but also for thâ— present Correction and Chastisement which he knew to proceed from Infinite Wisdom Goodness and Justice To the abovementioned instances from Scripture might be added several Examples of the patience and composedness of Spirit which some Heathens discovered when their Children were suddenly snatched away by a violent and untimely Death I shall only mention two related by Plutarch The 1 st is of Dio of Syracuse who as he was busie in consulting with his Friends about matters of importance heard a great noise and tumult in the House which occasioned his enquiring what the matter was and being told that his Son was dead by a fall from the Roof of the House he received this sad news without discovering any perturbation of Mind and having given Orders that the dead Body should be delivered into the hands of the Women that they might take care of it and that it should be buried in the accustomed manner He went on in his Design to consult with his Friends about the business that was before him The other instance is of Xenophon who when he was employed in offering Sacrifice received the news of his Son 's being killed in Battel at the hearing of which he pull'd off the Garland from his Head wherewith it was then covered and having askt the manner of his Son's Death and being told that he died fighting valiantly for his Country he quickly brought his Mind which was a little disturb'd into subjection to his Reason and again putting on the Garland he went on with his Sacrifice and told those who brought him the news of his Son's Death I never pray'd the Gods to make my Son Immortal or very long liv'd it being very uncertain if that be expedient but to make him an Honest Man and a Lover of his Country And now said he I have my desire Thirdly Consider from whence and whither they are gone They were here in a life of Vexation and Trouble subject to innumerable Vanities Temptations Snares and Dangers They were compassed about with great and terrible Enemies the Devil the World and the Flesh They were subject to daily necessities and wants Iâ— they had lived never so long they would only have seen the same things in a continual succession and revolution As for Example heat and cold fair weather and foul might and day Summer and Winter health and sickness plenty and poverty peace and war prosperity and adversity succeeding one to another All things going round But now they are delivered from all these they are at rest they are subject to no more necessities and wants oppressed with no more troubles and vexations exposed to no more enemies temptations or dangers but exalted to a state of perfect Peace Joy Love and Glory They are as well and better than you can desire You are not able to comprehend the Happiness that they are admitted to Will you then be in continual sorrow and grief for your Children when they are exalted to a state of Rest and Glory when they are where you would rejoyce to be when their Gracious Father hath freed them from the vain company of the World and Translated them into the blessed Society of Angels and of the Spirits of Just Men made perfect when he hath put an end to their Toil and Labour
them they shall not return to you Now what a folly is it for Men to consume to disquiet and to torment themselves where it is to no purpose at all to do so And not only do you thereby no good at all to your selves but you do your selves a great deal of mischief and prejudice You provoke God to anger against you to bring upon you yet heavier and more grievous punishments and to deprive you of other Mercies and Comforts which you still enjoy You do thereby no small hurt to your Bodies you bring upon your selves very dangerous distempers which will make you unfit for the actions of Life and the Duties of your Calling You likewise do unspeakable mischief to your Souls you deprive your selves of that vigour and chearfulness of Spirit that is needful to make you fit to serve God acceptably You thereby weaken your Memory and darken and disorder your Reason and Understanding and so expose your selves to all the sad consequences of a disordered and distracted Mind Your Example does also a great deal of hurt to others Your impatience and immoderate sorrow and mourning teacheth others to do so upon the like occasion Hereby you bring no small reproach upon our holy Religion as if it were not sufficient to support and fortifie us against our crosses and afflictions and to comfort us amidst the uneasie things which God sees fit to exercise us with in this World What an excellent Example is David unto you in this matter When God struck his Child so that it was very sick he fasted and prayed but when the Child died he arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his apparel and câ—me unto the House of the Lord and worshipped Then he came to his own House and when he required they 〈◊〉 Bread before him and he did eat Then said his Servants unto him What thing is this that thou hast done Thou didst fast and weep for the Child while it was alive but when the Child was dead thou didst rise and eat Bread And he said While the Child was yet alive I fasted and wept for I said Who can tell whether God will be gracious unto me that the Child may live But now he is dead Wherefore should I fast Can I bring him again I shall go to him but he shall not return to me 2 Sam. 12. 15 16 c. Thus ought all Parents to do who fear God When the Lord layeth his hand upon your Children you ought to pray to God for them and to use all lawful means for their recovery But when he â—ees fit to take them away by death you ought patiently to submit to his Will This is your wisest course It is the way to make your selves happy and to enjoy comfort and satisfaction of mind under your crosses This is the likeliest and readiest way to obtain new Mercies and Favours from the Lord instead of those you are deprived of Thus you see the Lord dealt with Job Jam. 5. 11. Ye have heard of the patience of Job and have seen the end of the Lord That the Lord is very pitiful and of tender mercy And Job 42. 12 13. The Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning And vers 16 17. After this lived Job an hundred and forty years and saw his Sons and his Sons Sons even four Generations So Job dyed being old and full of days But if God see it more fit to withhold from you the blessings of the Womb and to bestow no more Children upon you he can and will make up this want with much greater and better Blessings What you want in Temporals you shall have in Spirituals As Elkanah said to Hannah 1 Sam. 1. 8. He will be better to you than ten Sons He will give you a Name better than of Sons and Daughters even an everlasting Name that shall not be cut off Isa. 56. 5. The Duty of Parents On their Death-Bed The shortness and great uncertainty of your Time ought to make you very careful while you are in Health to improve as well as you can the present opportunities of doing good to your Children both as to their Spiritual and Temporal concerns There can be no greater Folly than to delay the doing whatever is needful for your Childrens real Happiness and welfare meerly out of a vain Expectation of having time enough to do every thing of this kind when you lie upon your Death-Bed 'T is strange that Men who daily see the Casualties which others do meet with and who have power to consider the great Dangers their own Lives have been exposed to should notwithstanding flatter themselves with such Thoughts and be so far bewitched thereby as to neglect any Duty of Importance and Necessity which now they have sufficient opportunity to do And therefore while you are in Health fail not to do all the good you can to your Children both for their Souls and Bodies and for their outward Estate But if it shall please God to afford you time and leisure upon your Death-Bed to do any thing for their Benefit neglect not at such a time to do whatever your Weakness and Sickness will permit Particularly 1 st Give them your best Advice Direct them according to their Capacities Consider what their faults and defects most commonly have been and suggest to them such things as God shall bring into your mind to make them sensible of their faults and to rescue them from their evil Habits Consider what those things are whereby they are most likely to be endangered and strive to fortifie their Minds with such wholesom Precepts and Maxims as may tend to preserve them for the time to come Consider what good thing does appear in any of them and endeavour to stablish their Minds in Virtue and Goodness in the Fear and Love of God Amongst other things 't is 〈◊〉 to recommend to them Unity and Concord that they Love one another heartily and be ready to assist and serve one another to the utmost of their power that they be friendly Monitors to One another and take it kindly and thankfully when they are so deale with Then likewise you may advise them to endeavour as much as is possible to live peaceably with all Men to be careful not to wrong any body by Word or Deed but on the contrary to seek the welfare of others to strive to do all the good they can in the World and to make it as their necessary Food to glorifie God David's Example is worthy of the imitation of all Religious Parents at such a time of whom 't is said 1 King 2. 1 2 3 4. He charged Solomon his Son saying I go the way of all the Earth Be thou strong therefore and shew thy self a Man And keep the Charge of the Lord thy God to walk in his ways to keep his Statutes and his Commandments and his Judgments and his Testimonies as it is written in the
2. 24. he said Therefore shall a Man leave his Father and Mother and cleave unto his Wife and they shall be one Flesh. Now by Virtue of this near Relation and close Union they ought to have a tender regard for the Interests and Concerns of one another and the dearer any thing is to the one the greater affection ought the other to have towards it As therefore 't is past all doubt that Children are the dearest and most valued and beloved Earthly thing that Natural Parents have upon this account it is very reasonable that Step-Parents should express a great Regard and Affection for them 2. This is the way to preserve and to increase that mutual Love which ought to be 'twixt Man and Wife If a Step-Parent is kind and loving to the Children and careful to promote their Happiness and Welfare it cannot but have an Influence on the Natural Parent so as to produce an Increase of Love and Respect which will render the lives of the married Persons very easie and comfortable Whereas on the other hand if Step-Parents are rough unkind and unnatural to their Step-Children it must needs cause a great deal of mischief it will certainly cool if not quite alienate the affection of the Natural Parent and when once this happens there is thenceforth nothing but strife and contention jealousies and suspicions which are ordinarily attended with very sad and dreadful effects to the utter Ruin of one or t'other Party if not of both 3. This is the way to make the Children very respectful and kind and very dutiful and obedient to them when they use them kindly are careful to seek their happiness and welfare and carry themselves towards them in all respects as they ought to do Whereas on the contrary by being unkind to them and unconcerned for their happiness and welfare they provoke them to hate them and to prove Disrespectful and Disobedient to them 4. This is the way to gain a great deal of Love and Respect from all those who are Related to the Deceased Parents who cannot chuse but resent it very kindly when they see the Children of their Friends well used and taken care of both as to their Souls and Bodies This will make them ready upon all occasions to serve them and to do them the best Offices which are in their power Whereas on the other hand if they see the poor Children of their Deceased Friends neglected and contemned wrong'd and abus'd by unkind Step-Parents they must needs take it in very ill part and resent it heavily yea and all other Persons who see or hear of such unkindness severity and injustice towards poor Children cannot chuse but think very ill of those who discover themselves to be altogether void not only of Religion but of Humanity also From what hath been said it appears how very just and reasonable it is for Step-Parents to be heartily concerned both for the Spiritual and Temporal welfare and happiness of their Children And therefore how much are they to be Condemned who make no Conscience at all of doing any thing for the benefit of either their Souls or Bodies As to their Souls some Step-Parents are so far from endeavouring to season them with good Impressions and to fortifie them against Tentations that they themselves are their greatest Tentation and do them the greatest hurt and prejudice As to their Bodies they grudge them necessary Food and Rayment and seldom let them have any thing with good will And as to their Outward Estate they are so far from improving for their Advantage the Portion of Worldly Goods that belongeth to them that on the contrary they use their utmost Policy to rob them and to disinherit them that they may build their own Childrens Fortune upon the others Ruin for which end they make it their business to alienate the Affection of their Natural Parent they invent a great many wicked and malicious Stories which with great boldness and impudence they fasten upon them and they never give over working and undermining till they have brought about their cruel and cursed Devices But surely he that sits in Heaven and beholds all their contrivances even he who is the God of Recompences will in due time bring to Light their hidden Works of Darkness and will vindicate the cause of those poor Children and render to their cruel Persecutors according to their Works he will fooner or later cause them to feel the heavy Load of his Just and Terrible Indignation The Duties of Guardians GUardians are either chosen by Parents before their Death or by Children themselves after their Parents Decease or by the Magistrate Which way soever they are chosen their Duty is to do what they can for the benefit and advantage of their Pupils both in Spiritual and Temporal Things As to their Souls they must take care of their good Education according to their Age and Capacity If they are not as yet taught to read they ought to make choice of a skilful and prudent Schoolmaster or Tutor for them of whose fitness for such a Charge they are well assured But they must not so intrust them to the Care of such Persons as never to mind them more themselves They ought to enquire after them now and then and either by themselves or others more fit for it make tryal of their proficiency that so they may be able to judge and resolve what is further to be done for them As for the way of training them up in true Piety the Directions given to Parents are to be observed and practised As to their Bodies the former Directions likewise to Parents concerning Childrens Diet and Apparel ought to be followed As to their outward Estate when they are fit for a Trade or some sort of business they ought to take care to settle them in good Company so far as is possible and in such a way of living as is most agreeable to their Genius and Inclination and which their Friends and Relations reckon most sutable and convenient for them It will afford great peace and satisfaction to Guardians whatever be the Event if in this matter they have a due regard to Childrens own Inclination and to the Opinion of their Friends and Relations As to their Marriage when it is time to dispose of them that way they onght to do nothing by force and violence They must not constrain them to Marry unless they have a mind themselves And tho' they are not bound absolutely to approve of those whom their Pupils fancy without any regard to their fitness yet they are obliged by the Law of Justice and Equity not to impose upon them such Matches as they cannot like As to their Patrimony and Inheritance they ought to improve it as much as may be for the Childrens good and to employ it wholly for their use except so far as the Law does allow them their necessary Charges in which they ought to govern themselves by that Golden-Rule Mat.