turned into shame and thy Tongue is set on fire of Hell Examine thy self strictly whether thou dost abhor lying Words As one that beleives all lyers shall have their portion in the Lake that burns with Fire and Brimstone which is the second Death Rev. 21. 8. Examine whether thou dost make Conscience of Backbiting thy Neighbour of Receiving and spreading a reproach against him If thou art a backbiter a slanderer a railer where is thy love to thy Brother and how canst thou call thy self a Citizen of Sion Psal 15. 1 2 3. Filthy and foolish talking and Jesting is unbecoming a Christians mouth this is to be avoided as well as Oaths and Cursing And ever remember that in multitude of Words there wanteth not sin and therefore what Job speaks unto his Friends turn it into a petition unto God Job 6. 24. Teach me and I will hold my Tongue unless my duty oblige to speak to thy Glory 8. Ask thy self Have I been spiritual in my civil Employments Was my conversation at all in Heaven or did I only mind Earthly things all the day long 'T is the duty of Christians to have the things of this World as though they had none of them to Buy as though they possessed not to use this World as not abusing it because the fashion of this World passeth away 1 Cor. 7. 30 31. The work of the Calling is to be minded and to be idle therein is to walk very disorderly 2 Thess 3. 11 12. But yet the working out of our Salvation is to be lookt upon as the main business of our lives unto which we should make our other actions to become subservient As the Grace of God makes a difference between the Christian and another man so the Christian should not only Pray and Hear but also Buy and Sell and Trade and deal in the matters of the World after a different manner He should always be in the Fear of God always eying his Rule and act conscientiously He should be wise unto that which is Good but simple concerning Evil He should not be over eager after nor trust in uncertain Riches nor be high-minded because of them But remember his time on Earth is short and as he must quickly leave the World so he must also give an account whether he has improved the World to the Glory of God and by doing of Good with what he has he has made unto himself a friend of the Mammon of Vnrighteousness Luke 16. 9. 9. Ask thy self Have I been careful to Redeem Time I count my Jewels my Gold my Silver too precious to throw about the Streets but have I not been prodigal and lavish of time which is of greater value and which no price can purchase when once 't is past and gone Those who are in Heaven how glad are they that they improved Time and made good provision for Eternity And they who are in Hell how do they Curse their Folly in wasting such a Treasure and wish they had never had either any time or any being since the time which was given them to repent in was spent inmaking themselves for ever miserable Mark O man how thy time passes How fast how constantly thy glasse runs Examine what becomes of all thy time and unto what account it turns If the filings of Gold are saved surely every parcel of time is highly worth Redeeming Let things that must be done have time sufficient let things that may be done have time convenient and for those things which ought not to be done le them have no time at all In a word so number thy dayes as to apply thy Heart unto Wisdom Psal 90. 12. Every day think of Death which will end all thy days 10. Ask thy self Have I received Mercies thankfully and born Crosses patiently A Christians Pilgrimage is chequer-work a mixture of black and white together sometimes he may want sometimes he may abound He should know how to do both as the Apostle did Phil. 4. 12. Mercies are designed to be as cords to draw thee and Afflictions as rods to drive thee nearer unto God let both attain their end What high ingratitude is it against Heaven and what an injurious disservice to thy self to take the Mercies of God and serve thy Lusts and Satan with them Let every days kindness overcome thee and be sure to glorifie that God in whose hand thy Breath and Life is and from whose hand thou dost receive every benefit and in whom is all thy hope of future happiness And if he does afflict thee do not murmur for whom the Lord Loves he chastens whom he chastens he does design their profit and can there be truer profit then to be made in a greater measure partakers of the Lords Holiness Heb. 12. 6. 10. If thou dost but wait a while thou will see a light some lamp to follow a smoaking Furnace Gen. 15. 17. An happy issue of all thy troubles Affliction will be a means so to clear thy sight and cleanse thy Soul that thou wilt grant there is reason to kiss the rod and to acknowledge the faithfulness and care of him that used it 11. Ask thy self How much am I advanced in Heavens way farther to day then I was yesterday How many new steps have I taken towards the New Jerusalem Have I indeed gone forward in the narrow path which leads to Life or have I stood still or gone backward 'T is our duty to grow in Grace 2 Pet. 3. ult To follow on to know the Lord and to follow still harder after him Our Salvation growes nearer and nearer every day and therefore our motions should be more strong and sprightly towards our home and centre Examine every day what Grace thou hast strengthened what corruption thou hast weakned that day Hast thou lower thoughts of thy self And higher thoughts of the Grace of God Is thy Faith more firm and operative Is thy love more ardent and constraining Art thou more fit for thy Masters use and prepared unto every good work and more meet to be a partaker of the Inheritance of the Saints in Light That day is certainly lost in which more Grace is not gained and in which never a step is taken in the way Everlasting Oh! Be such Just and Righteous ones as Solomon speaks of and let your path be as the shining Light which shineth more and more unto the perfect day 12. Ask thy self Have I waited on God all this day long Has my dependance been upon him My expectation of all good from him And my care to do what is good in his sight 'T is both our duty and our honour to wait on our God continually as a Servant waits upon his Master as a Son upon his Father Hark unto David Psal 25. Lead me in thy truth and teach me for thou art the God of my Salvation on thee do I wait all the day We ought to be sensible that all our springs are in God and that 't is
whose favour affords the fullest joy and whose frowns can cause an Hell on Earth Carnal Pleasures are but bruitish The Beasts enjoy those as well as men and several of them excelling us in sense their pleasures also may be greater They are worse then Beasts who can be contented with such delights because they are capable of delights much higher which capacity the Beasts have not How unfit is he for Christ and for the Kingdom of God who esteems Earthly pleasure as the most desirable paradise He wofully forgets both Himself and Eternity who admires those delights and joys which can last but for a moment MEDITATION VI. O my Soul Art thou indeed fond of Pleasure The highest of all are not grudged thee Oh taste and see that the Lord is Gracious What is pleasing to the Flesh cannot reach thee but God is a Spirit has enough is enough for thee The Angels have no Flesh and yet enjoy the greatest delight and God himself who is the most spiritual is the most blessed and happy Being of all Solomon enjoyed as much as the most voluptuous can wish for He says whatever his Eyes desired he kept not from them neither did he withhold from his Heart any joy Though sensual delight was in its highest Exaltation yet it was wofully mixed the sting was much sharper then the Honey was sweet Therefore he cryes out all was vanity and vexation of Spirit Be not eager O my Soul after that which will prove a vexation to thee Return unto God look unto Jesus here thou maist find exceeding joy here a Soul may find rest And being once interested in that meat which endures to Everlasting Life and in the unsearchable Riches of christ thou maist speak to thy self upon good ground Soul take thine ease Eat Drink and after an holy manner be Merry for thou hast Goods laid up which will never be spent but last unto Eternity MEDITATION VII Lord How far is that Man from knowing Thee who is a Lover of Pleasure more then a Lover of God! How excellent is thy Loving kindness How sweet the Meditation of Thee When my heart is enlarged and my Affections for Thee are vehement and strong here is a joy indeed which the World is a stranger to and cannot equal David called Thee the gladness of his Joy no other joy can make me truly glad besides How All-sufficient is thy fulness How Rich is thy Mercy How superabundant is thy Grace And even thy justice which is so affrighting unto guilty man is fully satisfied by the Obedience and Sufferings of Jesus Christ Thou art just when thou justifiest him that Believeth in Jesus Unbeleiving Doubts and Fears are groundless but joy and peace are highly reasonable The Saints which are now Triumphant who see thee face to face and are in the Lambs Presence and Throne are far from admiring the pleasures of sin and sense Away away thou deceitful Tempter Offer such poor such low things no more I am to preferre Affliction with the People of God before such Pleasures and certainly then Heaven and the foretastes of it are of infinitly greater value From henceforth Lord it shall be my pleasure to study thee and thy will to love thee to serve thee to please thee to praise thee and to enjoy thee will be my highest Happiness MEDITATION VIII What is the Applause and esteem of Men How vain and poor a thing is Worldly Honour Why should I Envy this to others or be eager after it or proud of it my self Man does judge according to outward appearance and therefore may more easily mistake When man commends Conscience may condemn and God much more That which is highly esteemed among men is an Abomination in the sight of God To be spoken well of by sinners is rather a bad sign they were false Prophets who had the good word of all men And the good Word of Saints is rather an argument of their Charity then of our sincerity The Jew that is one inwardly his Heart is Circumcised and his praise not of men but of God How poor a thing is it to be praised for Beauty which is so great a snare to them that have it and to others also and which Death may so quickly turn into paleness and rottenness And to be praised for Worldly Greatness does yield but a sorry satisfaction for Death is a sure and terrible Leveller and the Worms will make as bold with the Catkass of the Prince as of the Peasant What will it advantage one to be commended for Gifts or Parts or Grace if Conscience at the same time do justly Reproach and call one Proud and Hypocritical How little did Christ value Honour in the days of his Humiliation he was despised rejected reproached and at last most ignominiously Crucified Lord They are truly Honourable that Honour Thee and are honoured by thee and to whom thou wilt say at last Well done good and faithful Servants MEDITATION IX When I look into my self my Sins appear by great multitudes But a Righteousness of my own I cannot find which does deserve to be called by the name of Righteousness If the Elect Angels do cover their faces in the presence of a God glorious in Holiness how shall sinful man appear without a Mediatour They that are ignorant may be Proud and Self-conceited and may trust to themselves that they are Righteous but one view of Gods unspotted purity and exact justice is enough to cause in any mortal man self-distrust nay self-abhorrency The Sun is confounded and the Moon ashamed the Heavens are not clean in the sight of Him that made them the Angels themselves are charged with folly what is man that he should be Righteous MEDITATION X. My evill deeds do far exceed my good ones how great is the number of those how small comparatively the number of these How many more are the vain words which I speak then those that are serious And when I keep the strictest watch over my Heart the bad thoughts though intruders will be ten for one that is pure and holy if the odds be not farr greater And can I stand then if the Lord should be extream to mark what is done amiss Who in the World has more reason then I to cry out Lord enter not into judgment with thy Servant That little good which I do what mixtures of evil are there with it The Flesh is still lusting against the Spirit and makes every duty I perform imperfect and upon its own account impossible to be accepted The best of my works cannot merit the acceptation of themselves how then can they make satisfaction for my iniquities I see plainly when I have done all I must call my self unprofitable and look unto Christ who became obedient unto Death and desire that both I and my works the most perfect of them all may be found in him MEDITATION XI To whom can I look but unto Jesus Here the Angels look and wonder at the manifold wisdom
Rule will discover our obliquities and cause us the better to understand our selves The Apostle in another case condemns the folly of them Who measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves among themselves Let us remember Vivendum est regulis we must walk by Rule and that is the Word and by the Word we must at last be judged therefore 't is our wisdom to see whether heart and life are agreeable to it 5. Self-proving implies Self-accusing and self-condemning for what is evil Upon examination having found out our iniquities we must hold up our guilty hands at Gods Bar and acknowledge all we know all that Satan can justly lay to our charge Nay all that is down in the Book of Gods own remembrance Psal 51. 3. I acknowledge my iniquity and my sin is ever before me And as upon the discovery of sin we are to be our own Accusers so also to judge and condemn our selves We must readily justifie the Lord in the greatest severities at present nay we must acquit him upon supposition of eternal severity if he should make us to feel his wrath and greatest indignation for ever 6. Self-proving implies approving and taking comfort in that grace and goodness that has been wrought in us by the Spirit As we are to be strict in the search after sin so grace is in no wise to be overlookt The least degree of true grace is great matter of praise nay will occasion eternal thanksgiving God does not despise the day of small things neither should we but must own the good things though but some good things which are in us in Christ Jesus Philem. 6. Breathings after God prizing of Christ weariness of sin and longing to be holy must in no wise be unobserved in this work of Self-examination 7. Self-proving will never be to any purpose unless there be a crying unto the Lord himself to search us that we may not pass a wrong judgment upon our selves What depth is there that He cannot fathom What can be concealed from him who knows all things Jer. 17. 10. I the Lord search the heart though 't is deceitful above all things it cannot deceive me I try the Reins David therefore prays Examine me O Lord and prove me try my Reins and my Heart Psal 26. 2. and Psal 139. 23 24. Search me O God and know my heart try me and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way ever lasting In the second place I am to shew what of our selves is to be proved 1. We are to examine and prove what is our common and allowed practice A Sanguine man is not denominated Pale as Aristotle observes when he is Pale through fear nor a Pale man Sanguine when he blushes through shame A good man may sometimes fall into that which is evil and a bad man may sometimes hit upon an action that is good The Tree is to be judged by the ordinary Fruit it bears The Apostle speaks of his manner of life that it was godly in Christ Jesus 2 Tim. 3. 10 12. But if it be our manner to be workers of iniquity our doom will be at last to be excluded the Kingdom Luk. 13. 26 27. 2. We are to examine what course we are resolved still to take If the wicked man will forsake his way and turn to God mercy is promised and abundant pardon Esa 55. 7. If the prodigal come home to his Fathers House he shall be received with joy his former riot being forgotten and forgiven so that the door of hope is open even to the ungodly man if he will but deny his ungodliness But if the enemies of God will not lay down their Weapons but refuse and rebel still this argues the state to be bad and destruction to be near the Lord may quickly come to a resolution to ease himself of such Adversaries Esa 1. 24. 3. We must examine what company is most acceptable to us If we we love the ungodly who hate the Lord if the wickedness of others whereby God is dishonoured is not the matter of our dislike as long as they thwart not but promote our secular and carnal interest if we like the company of Fools and Sinners are the worst Fools well enough 't is a sign we are Fools our selves Fools indeed who venture to be destroyed and to go to Hell for company Prov. 13. 20. But if the Saints are lookt upon as the most excellent ones and delighted in as the best Society Psal 16. 3. if we love them that are born of God it shews that we our selves are born of him 4. We must examine of what nature our Communication is The Tongue is the index of the heart and shews what is in it As evil Communications corrupt good manners so they are a sign of a corrupt heart from whence they proceed A Tongue that is not bridled but rails lies backbites and is obscene impious and prophane is an argument that Religion is but vain Jam. 1. 26. But when the Tongue not out of any carnal design but delightfully talks of the Word of God when we sit in the house when we walk by the way when we lie down and when we rise up 't is a sign the Word is in the Heart and that the Heart is renewed and changed by the Word Deut. 4. 6 7. 5. We must examine what thoughts as welcome guests are suffered to lodge within us 'T is said of wicked men that God is not in all their thoughts Psal 10. 4. but wicked and vain thoughts are delightful and abide in them Proud revengeful covetous filthy and all sinful thoughts are vain thoughts because they are to no good end or purpose nay to very bad purpose Now if such thoughts as these lodge in the heart the heart is not washed from its wickedness and they will hinder salvation Jer. 4. 14. But if holy thoughts are cherished and there is a complacency in them more of them are desired and sinful thoughts are a burthen which the heart is weary of and does conflict with and wishes their expulsion This does speak a gracious frame of spirit 6. We must examine what power we have of Spiritual discerning The Gospel is hid from the natural man which proves him in a lost state 2 Cor. 4. 3. The things of the spirit of God are foolishness to him and he counts it the greatest wisdom to secure things visible That Rich man Luk. 12. thought he had been mighty provident and prudent in laying up goods for many years But if we are Saints indeed we have a faculty of Spiritual discerning and judge quite otherwise and our judgment is this and that judgment is true namely That all are fools and poor and miserable that are not rich in Grace rich towards God and that have made no provision for Eternity God called the forementioned Rich man a Fool upon this score And as the Lord calls the worldly-minded Fools
so after death they will call themselves by that name and curse their folly everlastingly 7. We must examine what we elect and make choice of as our chief Good and take up with us the best Portion The men of the World are contented with a Portion here in this Life here they receive all their Consolation they live as they think very well without God in the World and do not care to know to serve or to enjoy him But if we are Saints we follow other Counsels we chuse the Lord for our Portion and resolve to obey him Psal 119. 57. Thou art my Portion O Lord I have said that I would keep thy Word we are persuaded of his al-sufficient goodness which is abundantly communicative of it self and desire him above all And the Lord himself being our Portion we are pleased we are satisfied we rejoyce and conclude the lines are fallen to us in pleasant places and that we have a very goodly heritage Psal 16. 5 6. 8. We must examine whether our naturally beloved sin be now loathed They that are sincere are made so wise as to find out their dilectum delictum darling iniquity or if more than one have been their darlings they take special notice of them and though they are alienated from the whole kind of Sin yet with more than ordinary vehemency they desire the mortification of the lust or lusts which were formerly most beloved because these have so loaded them with guilt have most of all defiled them and provoked the Lord most bitterly against them David proves his uprightness this way Psal 18. 23. I was also upright before thee and I kept my self from mine iniquity But as for those who resolve to spare their darling corruptions they are unsound these lusts will cost them the life of their Souls And are not those prodigies of folly who love sin so well as to be contented to be damned for the sake of it If Herod will keep his Herodias still against the admonition of John the Baptist it plainly argues that he is void of Grace though he hears gladly and in part practises the Word he hears 9. We must examine what pre-eminence Heaven has above Earth in our affections A wicked man when he comes to dye will prefer Heaven before Hell but a Saint prefers Heaven before Earth and when his heart treacherously hankers after earthly things he checks and chides it he goes unto God and complains of this and prays to be made more heavenly minded He is convinced of the vanity and fading nature of earthly things and chuses the better and enduring substance 'T is a sign we are enlightned and renewed by the same Spirit the Apostle was when we speak his Language 2 Cor. 4. 18. We look not at the things that are seen but at the things which are not seen for the things that are seen are Temporal but the things which are not seen are Eternal 10. We must examine what is our great End and Design The wicked man is swayed by carnal sinful and worldly self Worldly honour pleasure and advantage are the highest indeed the only things he seeks If our Ends are not right we cannot possibly be upright our selves Now our End ought to be the glorifying of God and the enjoyment of Him Whatever ye do says the Apostle do all to the glory of God 1 Cor. 10. 31. This should still be in the Christians eye and aim And truly the designing of Gods glory is the way to the enjoyment of him wherein our own glory and happiness does consist Those that honour God he will honour whatever thwarts this highest greatest End is to be avoided with the greatest care for we cannot dishonour or despise the Lord but ipso facto we degrade and prejudice our selves 11. We must examine whether we are not grieved at all discovered defects and miscarriages and desirous to have every thing amiss rectified and amended Though upon search we find much out of order nay nothing in such order every way as it should be if this be our serious trouble and we long indeed to be turned long to be savingly changed long to be throughly healed 't is a sign of some hopeful beginnings if they do but hold Ephraim bemoaned himself that he was as a Bullock unaccustomed to the Yoak he found a great reluctancy in corrupted nature and loathness to submit to the Yoak of God he is troubled at it and falls a praying for converting grace Turn thou me and I shall be turned his prayer is heard he is turned he is instructed he repented he is adopted and assured at last of mercy Is Ephraim my dear Son Is he a pleasant Child For since I spake against him I do earnestly remember him still therefore my bowels are troubled for him and I will surely have mercy on him saith the Lord Jer. 31. 18 19 21. In the third place I am to inform you concerning what we are to prove our selves And at present I shall only insist on those two things which the Apostle mentions in the Context We are to prove whether we are in the Faith and whether Christ be in us yea or no 1. We are to prove whether we are in the Faith Sometimes Faith is said to be in us because it is a grace infused by the Spirit of God into our hearts With the heart man believeth unto Righteousness Rom. 10. 10. Sometimes we are said to be in Faith in opposition to others that are unregenerate who are affirmed to be in the flesh and to be in their sins And there is good reason for this phrase that the Saints are in Faith because Faith does cloth them with a justifying Righteousness and is a Shield to cover them and to quench all the fiery Darts of the evil one Now whether we are in the Faith may be thus proved 1. If we are in the Faith Truths being firmly believed will be particularly applyed our assent will be firm unto the truth of the Gospel as being of Divine Authority And as we shall believe that God himself does speak in his Word so we shall believe that he speaks to us in particular This particular application of the Word we read of Job 5. ult Lo this we have searched it so it is see it and know it for thy good A Medicine if not applied will not heal and the Word if not applied by Faith will not profit Heb. 4. 2. But the Word preached did not profit them not being mixed with Faith in them that heard it When Divine Commands are particularly applied we shall look upon our selves as obliged to obey them and submit to the Authority of our great Law-giver who has power to save and to destroy When comminations and threatnings are applied unto our Sins in particular we shall be afraid to allow of those Sins which bring us under the lash of threatnings so very dreadful And as for the promises of God being particularly applied how certainly will