abound_a of_o all_o sin_n and_o wickedness_n more_o and_o more_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o do_v and_o suffer_v his_o will_n and_o let_v i_o have_v his_o presence_n and_o his_o promise_n make_v good_a not_o to_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o what_o he_o will_v enable_v i_o to_o bear_v 1_o cor._n 10._o 13._o and_o that_o i_o may_v ready_o let_v all_o go_v for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v be_v make_v meet_a to_o be_v partaker_n of_o the_o inheritance_n of_o the_o saint_n in_o light_n and_o get_v my_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n ready_a which_o through_o the_o assistance_n and_o help_n of_o god_n i_o desire_v to_o go_v about_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v but_o may_v gather_v such_o evidence_n as_o will_v hold_v out_o and_o bear_v i_o up_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o trouble_n and_o trial_n yea_o in_o the_o hour_n of_o death_n and_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n the_o lord_n in_o infinite_a mercy_n sanctify_v to_o i_o the_o death_n of_o other_o god_n have_v of_o late_o take_v away_o many_o of_o my_o neighbour_n acquaintance_n friend_n and_o relation_n minister_n as_o well_o as_o other_o a_o little_a while_n since_o mr._n pledger_n and_o mr._n wells_n in_o one_o day_n o_o that_o all_o may_v be_v sanctify_v and_o especial_o the_o death_n of_o my_o wife_n that_o i_o may_v yet_o make_v such_o use_n of_o that_o providence_n as_o the_o lord_n will_v expect_v and_o be_v ready_a and_o prepare_v for_o my_o own_o departure_n hence_o whensoever_o it_o shall_v please_v my_o dear_a god_n and_o father_n to_o call_v i_o home_o be_v now_o about_o to_o enter_v here_o what_o i_o have_v to_o show_v for_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o a_o right_n and_o title_n to_o heaven_n i_o desire_v of_o the_o lord_n to_o help_v i_o in_o this_o great_a affair_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v but_o that_o what_o i_o here_o enter_v may_v be_v the_o true_a state_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o which_o will_v hold_v out_o and_o yield_v i_o comfort_n in_o a_o hour_n of_o distress_n it_o have_v be_v in_o my_o thought_n several_a time_n to_o inquire_v what_o i_o have_v to_o show_v for_o my_o hope_n of_o heaven_n that_o which_o run_v most_o in_o my_o mind_n be_v faith_n and_o repentance_n which_o upon_o diligent_a search_n of_o my_o heart_n i_o hope_v i_o have_v first_o for_o faith_n if_o i_o have_v true_a faith_n i_o shall_v certain_o be_v save_v so_o say_v the_o holy_a scripture_n he_o that_o believe_v shall_v be_v save_v joh._n 3._o 16._o for_o god_n so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o only_a beget_v son_n that_o whosoeever_n believe_v in_o he_o shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n now_o faith_n in_o christ_n be_v describe_v in_o the_o assembly_n catechism_n to_o be_v a_o save_a grace_n whereby_o we_o receive_v and_o rest_n upon_o christ_n alone_o for_o salvation_n as_o he_o be_v offer_v to_o we_o in_o the_o gospel_n which_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o do_v i_o hope_v i_o do_v most_o hearty_o desire_v to_o take_v christ_n on_o his_o own_o term_n as_o king_n priest_n and_o prophet_n in_o all_o his_o office_n and_o be_o willing_a to_o be_v rule_v by_o he_o as_o well_o as_o save_v by_o he_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o rest_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n alone_o for_o salvation_n and_o own_o no_o other_o saviour_n but_o he_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v the_o faith_n of_o reliance_n to_o rest_v and_o centre_n in_o christ_n i_o hope_v i_o can_v with_o all_o my_o soul_n throw_v myself_o upon_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n and_o if_o i_o perish_v to_o perish_v there_o trust_v in_o he_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o perish_v bless_a be_v god_n i_o be_o often_o lift_v up_o my_o heart_n to_o christ_n o_o my_o dear_a jesus_n bless_a jesus_n on_o thou_o on_o thou_o alone_o i_o rest_v when_o i_o be_o in_o fear_n and_o doubt_n and_o trouble_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o say_v with_o the_o church_n in_o the_o lord_n have_v i_o righteousness_n and_o strength_n righteousness_n for_o justification_n and_o strength_n for_o sanctification_n and_o the_o subdue_a of_o sin_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o renounce_v any_o trust_n in_o my_o own_o righteousness_n and_o duty_n and_o whole_o to_o rely_v and_o rest_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n when_o i_o have_v perform_v any_o duty_n i_o desire_v to_o own_o that_o i_o deserve_v hell_n for_o the_o sinful_a imperfection_n of_o it_o yea_o for_o the_o best_a duty_n i_o can_v perform_v and_o to_o have_v my_o trust_n only_o in_o the_o death_n and_o merit_n satisfaction_n and_o intercession_n of_o christ_n though_o spiritual_a pride_n be_v very_o apt_a to_o rise_v in_o i_o yet_o i_o hope_v i_o do_v not_o allow_v it_o the_o lord_n set_v my_o heart_n more_o against_o it_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v with_o the_o apostle_n phil._n 3._o 9_o to_o be_v find_v in_o he_o not_o have_v my_o own_o righteousness_n which_o be_v of_o the_o law_n but_o that_o which_o be_v through_o the_o faith_n of_o christ_n the_o righteousness_n which_o be_v of_o god_n by_o faith_n i_o hope_v christ_n be_v precious_a to_o i_o now_o that_o be_v a_o evidence_n of_o faith_n 1_o pet._n 2._o 7._o to_o you_o that_o believe_v he_o be_v precious_a i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o prize_n christ_n above_o all_o the_o world_n and_o if_o i_o know_v my_o heart_n i_o will_v not_o part_v with_o the_o hope_n i_o have_v by_o christ_n of_o heaven_n for_o ten_o thousand_o world_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o prize_n jesus_n christ_n as_o the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o altogether_o lovely_a the_o lord_n make_v i_o upright_o in_o this_o matter_n that_o i_o may_v see_v the_o worth_n and_o excellency_n that_o be_v in_o he_o so_o as_o to_o be_v in_o love_n with_o he_o second_o for_o repentance_n if_o i_o have_v that_o grace_n i_o be_o sure_a to_o be_v save_v act_v 3._o 19_o repent_v you_o therefore_o and_o be_v convert_v that_o your_o sin_n may_v be_v blot_v out_o when_o the_o time_n of_o refresh_a shall_v come_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n luke_n 13._o 3._o except_o you_o repent_v you_o shall_v all_o likewise_o perish_v therefore_o if_o we_o do_v repent_v we_o shall_v not_o perish_v now_o repentance_n be_v describe_v to_o be_v a_o save_a grace_n whereby_o a_o sinner_n out_o of_o the_o true_a sense_n of_o his_o sin_n and_o apprehension_n of_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n do_v with_o grief_n and_o hatred_n of_o his_o sin_n turn_v from_o it_o unto_o god_n with_o full_a purpose_n of_o and_o endeavour_n after_o new_a obedience_n i_o hope_v the_o lord_n have_v wrought_v this_o repentance_n in_o i_o i_o hope_v he_o have_v give_v i_o a_o true_a sight_n and_o sense_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o i_o be_o convince_v of_o the_o evil_a and_o danger_n of_o it_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v a_o apprehension_n also_o of_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n i_o do_v not_o at_o all_o doubt_n but_o there_o be_v mercy_n enough_o in_o god_n through_o christ_n to_o forgive_v and_o pardon_v the_o great_a sin_n if_o they_o be_v repent_v of_o the_o lord_n have_v declare_v himself_o to_o be_v the_o lord_n god_n gracious_a and_o merciful_a pardon_v iniquity_n transgression_n and_o sin_n exod_n 34._o 6._o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v true_o sorry_a for_o all_o my_o sin_n to_o grieve_v and_o mourn_v for_o they_o though_o my_o heart_n be_v hard_a yet_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v be_v glad_a if_o it_o be_v break_v that_o i_o can_v mourn_v more_o for_o my_o sin_n sure_o it_o have_v be_v a_o trouble_n to_o i_o many_o time_n in_o confession_n of_o sin_n that_o i_o can_v not_o mourn_v and_o weep_v and_o be_v not_o affect_v as_o i_o desire_v i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o hate_v sin_n also_o the_o lord_n work_v a_o true_a hatred_n of_o all_o sin_n more_o and_o more_o in_o i_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o turn_v from_o all_o sin_n unto_o god_n with_o full_a purpose_n of_o heart_n to_o cleave_v to_o he_o i_o hope_v the_o bend_v of_o my_o soul_n be_v right_a for_o god_n though_o i_o have_v many_o fail_n and_o miscarriage_n i_o hope_v the_o full_a purpose_n and_o resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n be_v for_o god_n and_o his_o way_n it_o be_v upon_o my_o mind_n what_o i_o have_v further_a to_o note_v that_o may_v be_v a_o evidence_n of_o grace_n i_o hope_v these_o thing_n follow_v which_o it_o please_v god_n to_o bring_v to_o my_o thought_n may_v be_v some_o ground_n to_o believe_v god_n have_v wrought_v saving_o upon_o i_o sure_o i_o do_v confess_v my_o sin_n often_o to_o the_o lord_n in_o secret_a and_o desire_v to_o have_v my_o heart_n penitent_o affect_v with_o they_o and_o
by_o faith_n 6._o true_a faith_n work_v patience_n not_o only_a patience_n in_o wait_v but_o patience_n in_o suffer_v there_o be_v a_o patience_n in_o wait_v for_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o the_o promise_n faith_n say_v to_o a_o believer_n the_o thing_n thou_o wait_v for_o be_v worth_a thy_o wait_n for_o they_o the_o comfort_n thou_o desire_v the_o crown_n of_o glory_n thou_o expect_v be_v worth_a wait_a for_o again_o faith_n work_v patience_n in_o suffer_v heb._n 10._o 34._o they_o take_v joyful_o the_o spoil_n of_o their_o good_n know_v they_o have_v in_o heaven_n a_o more_o endure_a substance_n heb._n 11._o 36._o 37._o they_o endure_v the_o trial_n of_o cruel_a mock_n of_o scourge_n of_o bond_n and_o imprisonment_n they_o be_v stone_v saw_v asunder_o tempt_v slay_v with_o the_o sword_n they_o wander_v about_o in_o sheepskin_n and_o goatskin_n be_v destitute_a forsake_a torment_v and_o yet_o their_o faith_n in_o jesus_n christ_n carry_v they_o through_o all_o these_o suffering_n faith_n tell_v the_o soul_n the_o suffering_n of_o this_o present_a life_n be_v not_o worthy_a to_o be_v compare_v with_o the_o glory_n that_o shall_v be_v reveal_v 7._o true_a faith_n will_v work_v a_o undaunted_a profession_n of_o christ_n name_n he_o will_v profess_v christ_n open_o when_o call_v to_o it_o the_o disciple_n profess_v christ_n when_o it_o be_v death_n to_o do_v so_o i_o be_o not_o ashamed_a of_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n say_v the_o apostle_n i_o esteem_v the_o reproach_n of_o christ_n better_a than_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o world_n and_o the_o cross_n of_o christ_n better_a than_o the_o crown_n of_o the_o world_n i_o esteem_v his_o crown_n of_o thorn_n better_o than_o all_o other_o in_o this_o world_n i_o bear_v about_o i_o the_o mark_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n gal._n 6._o 17._o he_o call_v his_o sorrow_n and_o suffering_n the_o mark_n of_o christ_n i_o esteem_v they_o my_o great_a honour_n god_n forbid_v say_v he_o i_o shall_v glory_v in_o any_o thing_n but_o in_o the_o cross_n of_o jesus_n christ_n thus_o you_o see_v what_o fruit_n faith_n work_v in_o reference_n to_o jesus_n christ_n now_o there_o be_v fruit_n of_o faith_n in_o reference_n to_o ourselves_o as_o these_o follow_v 1._o true_a faith_n work_v abundance_n of_o inward_a peace_n and_o joy_n rom._n 5._o 1._o be_v justify_v by_o faith_n we_o have_v peace_n with_o god_n and_o it_o must_v needs_o be_v so_o because_o that_o faith_n tell_v the_o soul_n the_o bond_n be_v cancel_v that_o sin_n be_v pardon_v the_o burden_n be_v take_v off_o wound_v of_o conscience_n be_v heal_v with_o the_o wound_n of_o christ_n a_o believer_n can_v say_v in_o peace_n will_v i_o lay_v down_o my_o head_n in_o the_o bosom_n of_o christ_n when_o storm_n and_o wave_n arise_v a_o believer_n can_v sit_v in_o his_o ark_n christ_n and_o a_o good_a conscience_n be_v a_o ark_n for_o a_o poor_a soul_n where_o he_o be_v safe_a a_o true_a believer_n have_v always_o the_o ground_n of_o joy_n though_o not_o always_o the_o exercise_n of_o it_o 2._o another_o fruit_n of_o faith_n in_o reference_n to_o ourselves_o be_v boldness_n in_o come_v to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n we_o have_v boldness_n and_o access_n by_o faith_n in_o christ_n ephes_n 3._o 12._o a_o true_a believer_n can_v pour_v out_o his_o soul_n to_o god_n make_v his_o moan_n to_o his_o father_n it_o be_v his_o comfort_n he_o can_v go_v to_o his_o father_n with_o a_o childlike_a boldness_n and_o confidence_n 3._o another_o fruit_n of_o faith_n be_v contempt_n of_o the_o world_n act_v 4._o they_o sell_v their_o possession_n and_o bring_v the_o money_n and_o lay_v it_o down_o at_o the_o apostle_n foot_n they_o regard_v it_o no_o more_o than_o the_o dirt_n under_o their_o foot_n faith_n have_v a_o eagles_n eye_n it_o see_v thing_n a_o far_o off_o and_o a_o eagles_n wing_n to_o carry_v a_o man_n above_o the_o flattery_n and_o the_o frown_n of_o the_o world_n by_o faith_n moses_n fear_v not_o the_o frown_n of_o the_o king_n heb._n 11._o 27._o faith_n let_v a_o man_n see_v there_o be_v better_a to_o be_v find_v in_o christ_n than_o in_o the_o whole_a world_n he_o that_o can_v find_v a_o world_n in_o christ_n will_v be_v willing_a to_o part_v with_o all_o the_o world_n for_o he_o 4._o true_a faith_n will_v produce_v a_o strong_a desire_n of_o strengthen_v and_o increase_n it_o and_o that_o both_o in_o truth_n and_o growth_n it_o will_v make_v a_o man_n still_o be_v search_v his_o heart_n that_o he_o may_v be_v sure_a he_o have_v the_o truth_n of_o faith_n it_o make_v a_o man_n prize_v a_o soul-searching_a ministry_n that_o may_v plough_v up_o the_o fallow_a ground_n of_o his_o heart_n and_o it_o work_v a_o desire_n of_o growth_n also_o it_o make_v a_o believer_n pray_v lord_n increase_v my_o faith_n whether_o thou_o increase_v my_o trade_n and_o wealth_n or_o no_o however_o lord_n increase_v my_o faith_n after_o i_o have_v write_v these_o thing_n i_o go_v into_o my_o closet_n and_o there_o beg_v of_o god_n his_o help_n and_o assistance_n to_o try_v myself_o by_o these_o character_n and_o then_o spend_v a_o little_a time_n go_v over_o they_o and_o try_v my_o state_n by_o they_o and_o i_o bless_v the_o lord_n i_o now_o can_v but_o say_v to_o his_o glory_n that_o i_o find_v they_o in_o some_o measure_n in_o i_o i_o hope_v that_o those_o i_o can_v not_o so_o positive_o answer_v to_o yet_o i_o can_v in_o the_o desire_n of_o my_o soul_n i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o be_o not_o deceive_v if_o i_o be_o i_o beseech_v he_o for_o christ_n sake_n to_o undeceive_v i_o and_o let_v i_o know_v how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o but_o methinks_v god_n have_v begin_v some_o good_a work_n in_o i_o and_o wrought_v faith_n in_o my_o poor_a soul_n though_o it_o be_v very_o weak_a the_o lord_n humble_v i_o and_o the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o bless_v his_o holy_a name_n for_o the_o least_o grace_n and_o earnest_o to_o endeavour_v and_o beg_v of_o he_o the_o increase_n of_o it_o i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o what_o i_o have_v do_v this_o day_n and_o what_o be_v enter_v before_o in_o a_o time_n of_o doubt_n and_o fear_n in_o a_o hour_n of_o trouble_n under_o god_n withdrawing_n yea_o that_o i_o may_v have_v comfort_n from_o it_o in_o a_o hour_n of_o death_n the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v not_o now_o be_v secure_a and_o careless_a but_o that_o i_o may_v walk_v very_o close_o and_o exact_o before_o he_o to_o his_o praise_n and_o glory_n here_o till_o at_o last_o i_o come_v to_o live_v with_o he_o in_o his_o heavenly_a kingdom_n may_v the_o 9th_o 1678._o i_o spend_v the_o day_n in_o a_o secret_a fast_o one_o end_n among_o other_o i_o propose_v to_o myself_o in_o it_o be_v to_o search_v into_o the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n again_o also_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o suffer_v for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o etc._n etc._n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v sincere_a and_o hearty_a i_o try_v myself_o by_o the_o mark_n and_o character_n before_o set_v down_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v say_v upon_o search_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v wrought_v save_v grace_n in_o i_o it_o be_v i_o hope_v my_o hearty_a prayer_n that_o if_o it_o be_v not_o so_o i_o may_v not_o so_o enter_v it_o here_o but_o i_o turst_z the_o lord_n have_v turn_v i_o from_o darkness_n to_o light_n and_o that_o i_o be_o not_o dead_a in_o sin_n and_o trespass_n but_o there_o be_v a_o principle_n of_o life_n in_o i_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v towards_o the_o close_a of_o the_o day_n i_o read_v over_o my_o covenant_n and_o hope_v i_o do_v from_o my_o very_a heart_n desire_v to_o bewail_v the_o breach_n of_o it_o and_o renew_v it_o with_o the_o lord_n which_o i_o do_v i_o hope_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o his_o grace_n desire_v christ_n may_v be_v my_o surety_n be_v much_o afraid_a of_o my_o be_v deceive_v lest_o it_o shall_v be_v with_o i_o as_o heretofore_o i_o hope_v i_o do_v hearty_o take_v the_o lord_n for_o my_o god_n and_o give_v up_o myself_o unto_o he_o and_o bind_v myself_o to_o forsake_v all_o sin_n and_o to_o live_v more_o to_o his_o glory_n according_a to_o the_o covenant_n i_o enter_v into_o with_o the_o lord_n about_o eleven_o year_n since_o take_v out_o of_o mr._n allen_n be_v book_n i_o bless_v god_n i_o be_v assist_v to_o day_n in_o the_o work_n i_o undertake_v the_o lord_n accept_v of_o i_o through_o christ_n and_o let_v not_o this_o day_n be_v lose_v o_o that_o i_o may_v not_o prove_v false_a and_o hypocritical_a with_o he_o but_o go_v away_o enable_v to_o live_v more_o to_o his_o praise_n here_o till_o i_o come_v
return_v to_o he_o of_o who_o i_o be_o now_o further_o to_o speak_v it_o please_v god_n to_o begin_v very_o early_o with_o he_o before_o he_o come_v to_o london_n when_o he_o be_v about_o twelve_o or_o thirteen_o year_n old_a god_n do_v often_o so_o bless_v a_o good_a education_n of_o child_n and_o will_v often_o do_v it_o if_o parent_n will_v be_v careful_a to_o do_v their_o duty_n in_o this_o particular_a with_o wisdom_n and_o faithfulness_n there_o be_v such_o discovery_n as_o i_o be_o inform_v of_o his_o serious_a godliness_n in_o his_o youth_n as_o be_v observe_v by_o many_o to_o the_o admiration_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n he_o begin_v betimes_o to_o seek_v after_o god_n and_o christ_n these_o be_v his_o best_a day_n and_o he_o comfortable_o find_v he_o who_o his_o soul_n love_v the_o pleasure_n the_o advantage_n the_o success_n and_o comfort_n of_o devotedness_n to_o god_n in_o our_o youth_n be_v beyond_o all_o expression_n when_o he_o come_v to_o london_n god_n direct_v and_o settle_v he_o as_o a_o apprentice_n with_o his_o cousin_n mr._n joshua_n gearing_n already_o mention_v where_o he_o have_v the_o advantage_n of_o a_o religious_a family_n and_o constant_o attend_v the_o serious_a affectionate_a ministry_n of_o mr._n james_n nalton_n who_o name_n and_o memory_n be_v still_o precious_a with_o many_o in_o this_o city_n god_n be_v please_v to_o bless_v his_o preach_v to_o his_o effectual_a conversion_n or_o rather_o to_o nourish_v and_o increase_v the_o seed_n of_o grace_n plant_v before_o he_o always_o think_v he_o can_v never_o speak_v with_o honour_n and_o affection_n enough_o of_o mr._n nalton_n who_o god_n have_v make_v so_o useful_a to_o his_o soul_n he_o will_v frequent_o to_o his_o die_a day_n mention_n with_o what_o powerful_a impression_n on_o his_o conscience_n his_o sermon_n be_v accompany_v how_o he_o think_v himself_o in_o a_o corner_n of_o heaven_n under_o his_o ministry_n that_o he_o can_v many_o time_n have_v wish_v to_o have_v go_v direct_o to_o heaven_n from_o the_o place_n of_o public_a worship_n such_o a_o presence_n and_o power_n of_o the_o divine_a spirit_n do_v attend_v the_o gospel-ministrations_a may_v the_o residue_n of_o this_o spirit_n be_v more_o plentiful_o pour_v out_o on_o the_o minister_n of_o christ_n in_o this_o city_n and_o nation_n for_o the_o like_a effect_n on_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n he_o have_v often_o speak_v and_o write_v how_o sweet_a and_o advantageous_a a_o season_n for_o religion_n the_o time_n of_o his_o apprenticeship_n be_v what_o heavenly_a thought_n and_o meditation_n be_v frequent_o have_v in_o the_o shop_n and_o behind_o the_o counter_a he_o have_v often_o profess_v that_o by_o reason_n of_o his_o freedom_n at_o that_o time_n from_o worldly_a care_n and_o business_n it_o be_v the_o best_a time_n he_o ever_o enjoy_v for_o god_n and_o his_o soul_n in_o his_o whole_a life_n he_o have_v then_o nothing_o else_o to_o do_v but_o to_o serve_v god_n and_o please_v his_o master_n who_o 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as_o his_o mercy_n his_o sin_n the_o frame_n of_o his_o heart_n in_o duty_n gracious_a return_v of_o prayer_n special_a providence_n to_o himself_o and_o other_o etc._n etc._n he_o desire_v every_o night_n to_o lie_v down_o in_o expectation_n of_o death_n and_o preparation_n for_o it_o though_o he_o be_v in_o perfect_a health_n and_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n he_o enjoy_v a_o extraordinary_a measure_n of_o it_o for_o many_o year_n so_o that_o till_o a_o little_a before_o his_o death_n i_o have_v hear_v he_o say_v that_o he_o have_v not_o be_v above_o twice_o keep_v by_o sickness_n from_o hear_v a_o sermon_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n for_o the_o space_n of_o forty_o year_n to_o those_o christian_n who_o have_v full_a leisure_n for_o this_o excellent_a daily_a work_n of_o self-examination_n and_o record_v the_o result_n of_o it_o this_o course_n will_v be_v of_o unspeakable_a advantage_n but_o i_o urge_v it_o not_o upon_o all_o it_o be_v sufficient_a to_o many_o to_o renew_v their_o repentance_n for_o daily_a fail_n and_o record_v only_o the_o extraordinary_a and_o more_o remarkable_a passage_n of_o their_o life_n not_o have_v time_n to_o record_v the_o ordinary_a occurrence_n of_o every_o day_n but_o beside_o what_o he_o do_v every_o day_n he_o frequent_o set_v apart_o whole_a day_n with_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o examine_v and_o try_v the_o state_n of_o his_o soul_n part_n whereof_o he_o transcribe_v afterward_o though_o but_o a_o very_a little_a part_n which_o be_v here_o add_v as_o contain_v the_o character_n and_o trial_n of_o a_o real_a christian_a with_o the_o reason_n of_o his_o transcribe_v it_o and_o i_o be_o persuade_v he_o do_v it_o with_o great_a sincerity_n and_o humility_n the_o rather_o because_o when_o about_o a_o month_n or_o six_o week_n before_o his_o death_n he_o be_v under_o some_o darkness_n and_o cloud_n as_o to_o his_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n and_o apprehend_v his_o time_n on_o earth_n will_v be_v but_o short_a he_o desire_v to_o discourse_v with_o i_o more_o than_o once_o about_o the_o state_n of_o his_o soul_n which_o i_o shall_v always_o remember_v with_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n in_o order_n to_o my_o make_v the_o better_a judgement_n of_o his_o case_n he_o let_v i_o see_v some_o of_o those_o paper_n write_v many_o year_n before_o but_o send_v i_o a_o letter_n the_o next_o morning_n to_o recall_v they_o mention_v his_o great_a trouble_n after_o i_o be_v go_v lest_o what_o he_o have_v do_v savour_v of_o pride_n and_o ought_v rather_o to_o have_v be_v conceal_v such_o be_v the_o tenderness_n of_o his_o conscience_n in_o this_o and_o in_o every_o thing_n i_o shall_v say_v the_o less_o concern_v his_o examination_n of_o himself_o because_o you_o have_v here_o annex_v a_o short_a account_n of_o the_o manner_n of_o it_o the_o lawfulness_n of_o try_v ourselves_o by_o mark_n and_o sign_n of_o the_o truth_n of_o grace_n i_o hope_v will_v not_o be_v question_v when_o it_o be_v but_o to_o evidence_n the_o sincerity_n of_o our_o faith_n and_o repentance_n and_o holy_a obedience_n while_o we_o ascribe_v unto_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n what_o belang_v to_o he_o as_o our_o great_a highpriest_n all_o that_o be_v do_v by_o christ_n without_o we_o in_o order_n to_o our_o salvation_n may_v and_o aught_o to_o be_v distinguish_v from_o what_o be_v do_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o christ_n and_o his_o grace_n within_o we_o because_o there_o be_v a_o manifest_a difference_n between_o what_o cause_v our_o acceptance_n with_o god_n and_o that_o which_o be_v evidential_a of_o it_o in_o order_n to_o our_o own_o comfort_n his_o example_n in_o the_o strict_a observation_n of_o the_o lord_n day_n and_o conscientious_a faithfulness_n in_o his_o family-relation_n have_v be_v take_v notice_n of_o to_o the_o edification_n of_o many_o the_o
this_o thou_o find_v thou_o have_v more_o desire_n after_o grace_n that_o be_v more_o grace_n be_v thou_o not_o only_o thankful_a for_o a_o little_a grace_n but_o art_n reach_v after_o more_o do_v thou_o grow_v more_o weary_a of_o thy_o sin_n and_o more_o earnest_a after_o christ_n i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n it_o be_v thus_o with_o i_o that_o i_o be_o more_o weary_a of_o sin_n and_o desire_v more_o grace_n now_o growth_n be_v a_o sign_n of_o life_n again_o put_v this_o question_n to_o thyself_o do_v i_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o christ_n this_o be_v a_o evidence_n of_o spiritual_a life_n dead_a man_n do_v not_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o christ_n now_o i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o christ_n and_o nothing_o but_o himself_o will_v content_v i_o again_o ask_v thy_o soul_n do_v i_o love_v god_n and_o christ_n or_o do_v i_o not_o these_o mark_v he_o give_v of_o love_n to_o christ_n lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o be_o grieve_v at_o thy_o absence_n and_o be_o rejoice_v at_o thy_o presence_n lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o love_v those_o that_o be_v like_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o love_v the_o place_n and_o duty_n where_o thou_o be_v wont_a to_o meet_v thy_o people_n and_o warm_v their_o heart_n but_o if_o thou_o be_v not_o there_o i_o can_v take_v up_o content_o with_o they_o lord_n i_o humble_o say_v i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o dare_v not_o deny_v but_o i_o be_o grieve_v when_o thou_o be_v dishonour_v by_o myself_o or_o other_o though_o i_o grieve_v for_o this_o less_o than_o i_o shall_v because_o i_o love_v thou_o less_o than_o i_o ought_v lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o desire_v to_o have_v a_o heart_n that_o shall_v be_v willing_a to_o part_v with_o all_o for_o thou_o thing_n sinful_a in_o themselves_o at_o all_o time_n and_o thing_n lawful_a when_o thou_o call_v i_o to_o it_o once_o more_o i_o humble_o say_v i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o will_v have_v a_o heart_n to_o love_n and_o long_o and_o look_v for_o thy_o come_v and_o appearance_n in_o glory_n mr._n ambrose_n direct_v to_o try_v our_o title_n to_o heaven_n advise_v first_o to_o write_v down_o the_o scripture-marks_a or_o grace_n or_o glory_n and_o mention_n these_o several_a scripture_n follow_v 1_o joh._n 2._o 3._o hereby_o we_o know_v that_o we_o know_v he_o if_o we_o keep_v his_o commandment_n 2_o cor._n 1._o 12._o for_o our_o rejoice_n be_v this_o the_o testimony_n of_o our_o conscience_n that_o in_o godly_a simplicity_n and_o sincerity_n we_o have_v have_v our_o conversation_n in_o the_o world_n 1_o joh._n 3._o 9_o 10._o whosoever_o be_v bear_v of_o god_n sin_v not_o because_o his_o seed_n abide_v in_o he_o neither_o can_v he_o sin_v because_o he_o be_v bear_v of_o god_n in_o this_o the_o child_n of_o god_n be_v manifest_a etc._n etc._n 1_o joh._n 4._o 13._o hereby_o we_o know_v that_o we_o dwell_v in_o he_o and_o he_o in_o we_o because_o he_o have_v give_v we_o of_o his_o spirit_n 1_o joh._n 3._o 14._o we_o know_v that_o we_o have_v pass_v from_o death_n to_o life_n because_o we_o love_v the_o brethren_n james_n 1._o 12._o there_o be_v a_o crown_n of_o life_n the_o lord_n have_v promise_v to_o they_o that_o love_v he_o but_o above_o all_o observe_v these_o text_n follow_v as_o contain_v the_o special_a gospel-condition_n to_o which_o we_o find_v so_o often_o annex_v the_o promise_n of_o justification_n and_o glorification_n joh._n 3._o 16._o god_n so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o only_a beget_v son_n that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n joh._n 5._o 24._o he_o that_o believe_v have_v everlasting_a life_n and_o shall_v not_o come_v into_o condemnation_n but_o be_v pass_v from_o death_n unto_o life_n joh._n 6._o 40._o and_o this_o be_v the_o will_n of_o he_o that_o send_v i_o that_o every_o one_o that_o see_v the_o son_n and_o believe_v in_o he_o may_v have_v everlasting_a life_n joh._n 20._o 31._o these_o thing_n be_v write_v that_o you_o may_v believe_v that_o jesus_n be_v the_o christ_n the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o that_o believe_v you_o may_v have_v life_n through_o his_o name_n act_n 16._o 31._o believe_v on_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o thou_o shall_v be_v save_v rom._n 10._o 9_o 10._o if_o thou_o shall_v confess_v with_o thy_o mouth_n the_o lord_n jesus_n and_o shall_v believe_v in_o thy_o heart_n that_o god_n have_v raise_v he_o from_o the_o dead_a thou_o shall_v be_v save_v heb._n 10._o 39_o we_o be_v not_o of_o they_o who_o draw_v back_o unto_o perdition_n but_o of_o they_o that_o believe_v to_o the_o save_n of_o the_o soul_n 1_o joh._n 5._o 13._o these_o thing_n have_v i_o write_v unto_o you_o that_o believe_v in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n that_o you_o may_v know_v that_o you_o have_v eternal_a life_n from_o the_o first_o text_n we_o gather_v the_o scripture_n mark_v of_o universal_a obedience_n from_o the_o second_o sincerity_n from_o the_o three_o opposition_n against_o and_o abstinence_n from_o sin_n from_o the_o four_o spiritual_a performance_n of_o holy_a duty_n from_o the_o five_o a_o love_n of_o the_o brethren_n from_o the_o six_o a_o love_n of_o christ_n from_o all_o the_o rest_n faith_n in_o christ_n the_o root_n and_o spring_n of_o all_o other_o grace_n and_o necessary_a condition_n of_o pardon_n and_o eternal_a life_n proceed_v we_o now_o to_o put_v the_o question_n to_o ourselves_o but_o be_v sure_o to_o state_n it_o aright_o let_v it_o not_o be_v whether_o there_o be_v any_o good_a in_o we_o at_o all_o for_o so_o we_o shall_v err_v on_o the_o one_o hand_n nor_o yet_o whether_o we_o have_v such_o and_o such_o a_o degree_n and_o measure_n of_o grace_n for_o so_o we_o shall_v err_v on_o the_o other_o hand_n but_o whether_o according_a to_o the_o forementioned_a scripture_n such_o and_o such_o a_o save_a grace_n be_v in_o we_o or_o not_o now_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o god_n his_o help_n to_o try_v the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n by_o what_o follow_v this_o 17_o of_o august_n 1676._o and_o i_o do_v hope_n i_o find_v the_o true_a mark_n of_o save_a grace_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o desire_v here_o to_o enter_v they_o down_o that_o i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o it_o in_o time_n of_o need_n and_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o be_v sincere_a 1._o o_o my_o soul_n have_v thou_o respect_v to_o and_o do_v observe_v all_o god_n commandment_n do_v thou_o keep_v the_o law_n in_o truth_n and_o sincerity_n though_o not_o in_o gradual_a perfection_n do_v thou_o know_v god_n in_o part_n and_o love_n god_n true_o by_o a_o sincere_a obedience_n do_v thou_o keep_v the_o commandment_n in_o a_o evangelical_n sense_n and_o wherein_o thou_o fail_v do_v thou_o acknowledge_v thy_o fail_n and_o rely_v upon_o christ_n for_o pardon_n be_v thy_o universal_a obedience_n internal_a and_o spiritual_a as_o well_o as_o external_a be_v thy_o delight_n in_o the_o law_n of_o god_n after_o the_o inward_a man_n be_v thy_o obedience_n to_o the_o duty_n of_o both_o table_n do_v thou_o make_v conscience_n of_o particular_a duty_n in_o every_o relation_n 2._o o_o my_o soul_n have_v thou_o sincerity_n and_o uprightness_n of_o heart_n be_v there_o a_o powerful_a change_n of_o the_o whole_a man_n by_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n do_v thou_o do_v what_o be_v good_a upon_o this_o account_n because_o god_n command_v it_o not_o because_o it_o will_v agree_v with_o thy_o end_n and_o advantage_n but_o because_o god_n have_v require_v it_o be_v thou_o diligent_a and_o conscientious_a in_o secret_a duty_n to_o perform_v they_o and_o in_o spiritual_a or_o heart_n sin_n and_o secret_a lust_n to_o avoid_v they_o do_v thou_o serve_v god_n in_o spirit_n do_v thou_o eye_n god_n whether_o in_o private_a or_o public_a do_v thou_o set_v thyself_o zealous_o against_o those_o sin_n thou_o be_v most_o incline_v unto_o do_v thou_o hate_v sin_n most_o in_o thyself_o and_o in_o those_o that_o be_v near_a unto_o thou_o have_v thou_o respect_v to_o all_o god_n commandment_n but_o yet_o to_o the_o duty_n of_o the_o first_o table_n before_o the_o second_o to_o the_o command_v of_o great_a duty_n before_o those_o of_o lesser_a duty_n or_o if_o in_o all_o these_o particular_n thou_o find_v not_o such_o a_o uprightness_n as_o have_v no_o deceit_n or_o falsehood_n or_o carnal_a respect_n at_o all_o join_v with_o it_o for_o as_o all_o other_o grace_n be_v but_o in_o part_n so_o be_v we_o sincere_a and_o upright_o but_o in_o part_n be_v thou_o humble_v under_o thy_o hypocrisy_n and_o spiritual_a guile_n and_o do_v thou_o trust_v only_o to_o christ_n and_o do_v thou_o cry_v as_o david_n do_v for_o truth_n in_o the_o
will_v go_v mourning_n in_o this_o world_n while_o i_o have_v a_o day_n to_o live_v till_o christ_n shall_v please_v to_o cast_v a_o eye_n of_o grace_n and_o mercy_n on_o i_o nay_o let_v it_o come_v to_o this_o i_o can_v live_v if_o god_n be_v not_o reconcile_v if_o christ_n be_v not_o i_o my_o spirit_n fail_v if_o the_o lord_n do_v not_o relieve_v i_o there_o be_v nothing_o no_o abide_n for_o i_o unless_o he_o speak_v a_o word_n of_o peace_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v bring_v to_o this_o i_o must_v have_v a_o interest_n in_o christ_n or_o nothing_o will_v satisfy_v i_o such_o a_o one_o shall_v find_v acceptance_n therefore_o be_v in_o good_a earnest_n and_o let_v the_o desire_n of_o the_o soul_n rise_v up_o to_o a_o holy_a restlessness_n o_o wretched_a negligence_n that_o we_o can_v let_v the_o great_a concern_v of_o our_o soul_n lie_v at_o hazard_n all_o our_o day_n ten_o question_n to_o ask_v our_o heart_n thus_o mr._n steel_v advise_v we_o shall_v often_o commune_v with_o our_o heart_n i._o what_o have_v i_o be_v if_o now_o i_o be_o change_v i_o be_v a_o wretched_a sinner_n ii_o what_o good_a have_v i_o do_v that_o god_n may_v have_v the_o glory_n and_o i_o the_o comfort_n iii_o how_o have_v i_o do_v it_o iu._n what_o have_v i_o neglect_v the_o slothful_a servant_n be_v condemn_v who_o have_v talent_n but_o do_v no_o good_a with_o they_o what_o duty_n have_v i_o neglect_v and_o how_o many_o opportunity_n of_o do_v good_a omit_v v._o what_o state_n be_o i_o in_o be_o i_o in_o a_o gracious_a or_o sinful_a state_n in_o christ_n or_o in_o my_o sin_n if_o i_o be_o in_o christ_n he_o rule_v if_o in_o sin_n that_o reign_v vi_o what_o frame_n be_o i_o in_o be_o i_o in_o a_o gracious_a or_o worldly_a frame_n of_o heart_n vii_o what_o do_v i_o be_o i_o in_o my_o call_v and_o in_o the_o way_n of_o my_o duty_n be_o i_o now_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n viii_o whither_o be_o i_o go_v towards_o heaven_n or_o hell_n every_o moment_n i_o take_v a_o step_n to_o one_o of_o they_o ix_o how_o far_o be_o i_o on_o my_o way_n to_o heaven_n x._o what_o shall_v i_o do_v to_o be_v save_v salvation_n be_v to_o be_v have_v how_o shall_v i_o attain_v it_o his_o covenant_n with_o god_n o_o most_o dreadful_a god_n for_o the_o passion_n of_o thy_o son_n i_o beseech_v thou_o accept_v of_o thy_o poor_a prodigal_n now_o prostrate_v himself_o at_o thy_o door_n i_o have_v fall_v from_o thou_o by_o my_o iniquiry_n and_o be_o by_o nature_n a_o son_n of_o death_n 〈◊〉_d a_o thousand-fold_n more_o the_o child_n of_o hell_n by_o 〈◊〉_d wicked_a practice_n but_o of_o thy_o infinite_a grace_n thou_o have_v promise_v mercy_n to_o i_o in_o christ_n if_o i_o will_v but_o turn_v to_o thou_o with_o all_o my_o heart_n therefore_o upon_o the_o call_v of_o thy_o gospel_n i_o be_o now_o come_v in_o and_o throw_v down_o my_o weapon_n submit_v myself_o to_o thy_o mercy_n and_o because_o thou_o require_v as_o the_o condition_n of_o my_o peace_n with_o thou_o that_o i_o shall_v put_v away_o my_o idol_n and_o be_v at_o defiance_n with_o all_o thy_o enemy_n which_o i_o acknowledge_v i_o have_v wicked_o side_v with_o against_o thou_o i_o here_o from_o the_o bottom_n of_o my_o heart_n renounce_v they_o all_o firm_o covenant_v with_o thou_o not_o to_o allow_v myself_o in_o any_o know_a sin_n but_o to_o use_v conscientious_o all_o the_o mean_n that_o i_o know_v thou_o have_v prescribe_v for_o the_o death_n and_o utter_a destruction_n of_o all_o my_o corruption_n and_o whereas_o i_o have_v former_o inordinate_o and_o idolatrous_o let_v out_o my_o affection_n upon_o the_o world_n i_o do_v here_o resign_v my_o heart_n to_o thou_o that_o make_v it_o humble_o protest_v before_o thy_o glorious_a majesty_n that_o it_o be_v the_o firm_a resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o that_o i_o do_v unfeigned_o desire_v grace_n from_o thou_o that_o when_o thou_o shall_v call_v i_o hereunto_o i_o may_v practice_v this_o my_o resolution_n through_o thy_o assistance_n to_o forsake_v all_o that_o be_v dear_a unto_o i_o in_o this_o world_n rather_o than_o to_o turn_v from_o thou_o to_o the_o way_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o i_o will_v watch_v against_o all_o its_o temptation_n whether_o of_o prosperity_n or_o adversity_n lest_o they_o shall_v withdraw_v my_o heart_n from_o thou_o beseech_v thou_o also_o to_o help_v i_o against_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n to_o who_o wicked_a suggestion_n i_o resolve_v by_o thy_o grace_n never_o to_o yield_v myself_o a_o servant_n and_o because_o my_o own_o righteousness_n be_v but_o menstruous_a rag_n i_o renounce_v all_o confidence_n therein_o and_o acknowledge_v that_o i_o be_o of_o myself_o a_o hopeless_a helpless_a undo_v creature_n without_o righteousness_n or_o strength_n and_o for_o as_o much_o as_o thou_o have_v of_o thy_o bottomless_a mercy_n offer_v most_o gracious_o to_o i_o wretched_a sinner_n to_o be_v again_o my_o god_n through_o christ_n if_o i_o will_v accept_v of_o thou_o i_o call_v heaven_n and_o earth_n to_o record_v this_o day_n that_o i_o do_v here_o solemn_o avouch_v thou_o for_o the_o lord_n my_o god_n and_o with_o all_o possible_a veneration_n bow_v the_o neck_n of_o my_o soul_n under_o the_o foot_n of_o thy_o most_o sacred_a majesty_n i_o do_v here_o take_v thou_o the_o lord_n jehovah_n father_n son_n and_o holy_a ghost_n for_o my_o portion_n and_o chief_a good_a and_o do_v give_v up_o myself_o body_n and_o soul_n for_o thy_o servant_n promise_v and_o vow_v to_o serve_v thou_o in_o holiness_n and_o righteousness_n all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n and_o since_o thou_o have_v appoint_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n the_o only_a mean_n of_o come_v unto_o thou_o i_o do_v here_o upon_o the_o bend_a knee_n of_o my_o soul_n accept_v of_o he_o as_o the_o only_a new_a and_o live_a way_n by_o which_o sinner_n may_v have_v access_n to_o thou_o and_o do_v here_o solemn_o join_v myself_o in_o a_o marriage-covenant_n to_o he_o o_o bless_a jesus_n i_o come_v to_o thou_o hungry_a and_o hardly_o bestead_v poor_a and_o wretched_a and_o miserable_a and_o blind_a and_o naked_a a_o most_o loathsome_a pollute_a wretch_n a_o guilty_a condemn_a malefactor_n unworthy_a for_o ever_o to_o wash_v the_o foot_n of_o the_o servant_n of_o my_o lord_n much_o more_o to_o be_v solemn_o marry_v to_o the_o king_n of_o glory_n but_o since_o such_o be_v thy_o unparalleled_a love_n i_o do_v here_o with_o all_o my_o power_n accept_v thou_o and_o do_v take_v thou_o for_o my_o head_n and_o husband_n for_o better_a for_o worse_o for_o rich_a for_o poor_a for_o all_o time_n and_o condition_n to_o love_v and_o honour_n and_o obey_v thou_o before_o all_o other_o and_o this_o to_o the_o death_n i_o embrace_v thou_o in_o all_o thy_o office_n i_o renounce_v my_o own_o worthiness_n and_o do_v here_o avow_v thou_o for_o the_o lord_n my_o righteousness_n i_o renounce_v my_o own_o wisdom_n and_o do_v here_o take_v thou_o for_o my_o only_a guide_n i_o renounce_v my_o own_o will_n and_o take_v thy_o will_n for_o my_o law_n and_o since_o thou_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v suffer_v if_o i_o will_v reign_v i_o do_v here_o covenant_n with_o thou_o to_o take_v my_o lot_n as_o it_o fall_v with_o thou_o and_o by_o thy_o grace_n assist_v to_o run_v all_o hazard_n with_o thou_o very_o purpose_v that_o neither_o life_n nor_o death_n shall_v part_v between_o thou_o and_o i_o and_o because_o thou_o have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o thy_o holy_a law_n as_o the_o rule_n of_o my_o life_n and_o the_o way_n in_o which_o i_o shall_v walk_v to_o thy_o kingdom_n i_o do_v here_o willing_o put_v my_o neck_n under_o thy_o yoke_n and_o set_v my_o shoulder_n to_o thy_o burden_n and_o subscribe_v to_o all_o thy_o law_n as_o holy_a just_a and_o good_a i_o solemn_o take_v they_o as_o the_o rule_n of_o my_o word_n thought_n and_o action_n promise_v that_o though_o my_o flesh_n contradict_v and_o rebel_v yet_o i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o order_n and_o govern_v my_o whole_a life_n according_a to_o thy_o direction_n and_o will_v not_o allow_v myself_o in_o the_o neglect_n of_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o know_v to_o be_v my_o duty_n only_o because_o through_o the_o frailty_n of_o my_o flesh_n i_o be_o subject_a to_o many_o fail_n i_o be_o bold_a humble_o to_o protest_v that_o unallow_v miscarriage_n contrary_a to_o the_o settle_a bent_n and_o resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n shall_v not_o make_v void_a this_o covenant_n for_o so_o thou_o have_v say_v now_o almighty_a god_n searcher_n of_o all_o heart_n thou_o know_v that_o i_o make_v this_o covenant_n with_o thou_o this_o day_n without_o any_o know_a guile_n or_o reservation_n beseech_v thou_o that_o if_o thou_o espie_v any_o flaw_n
though_o a_o man_n have_v the_o gild_n of_o as_o many_o sin_n lie_v on_o his_o soul_n as_o there_o be_v drop_n of_o water_n in_o the_o ocean_n and_o if_o they_o be_v of_o as_o long_a continuance_n as_o from_o the_o creation_n of_o the_o world_n and_o aggravate_v with_o as_o heinous_a circumstance_n as_o any_o of_o the_o vile_a sinner_n in_o hell_n yet_o there_o be_v merit_n enough_o in_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n to_o take_v away_o the_o gild_n of_o all_o those_o sin_n and_o when_o that_o be_v do_v merit_n enough_o leave_v to_o purchase_v as_o great_a a_o glory_n as_o any_o saint_n in_o heaven_n enjoy_v but_o let_v none_o thereupon_o presume_v to_o go_v on_o in_o sin_n for_o there_o be_v not_o a_o word_n of_o comfort_n in_o the_o whole_a bible_n for_o such_o a_o one_o he_o that_o be_v afraid_a of_o too_o much_o grace_n have_v none_o at_o all_o he_o who_o be_v unwilling_a to_o be_v make_v better_a be_v not_o yet_o good_a in_o the_o most_o afflict_a condition_n of_o a_o saint_n he_o have_v more_o reason_n to_o question_v his_o own_o love_n to_o god_n than_o god_n love_n to_o he_o god_n take_v as_o much_o care_n of_o every_o one_o of_o his_o child_n as_o if_o he_o have_v but_o one_o to_o care_n for_o our_o time_n be_v in_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n if_o they_o be_v in_o our_o enemy_n hand_n our_o affliction_n and_o trial_n will_v be_v too_o long_o if_o in_o our_o own_o too_o short_a but_o because_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n deliverance_n shall_v be_v seasonable_a and_o in_o due_a time_n have_v we_o ten_o thousand_o life_n and_o estate_n to_o lose_v and_o lay_v down_o for_o christ_n one_o hour_n communion_n with_o he_o in_o glory_n will_v recompense_v for_o all_o our_o self-denial_n whatever_o we_o have_v do_v or_o suffer_v that_o man_n live_v unlawful_o who_o do_v not_o sometime_o abstain_v from_o lawful_a thing_n make_v it_o thy_o business_n to_o act_v grace_n and_o then_o trust_v god_n to_o bring_v in_o comfort_n god_n be_v you_o if_o you_o be_v unfeigned_o willing_a to_o be_v his_o he_o that_o can_v from_o his_o heart_n say_v lord_n i_o be_o thou_o may_v on_o good_a ground_n be_v assure_v that_o the_o lord_n be_v his_o god_n that_o man_n who_o god_n can_v satisfy_v nothing_o can_v for_o god_n be_v to_o his_o people_n whatever_o they_o can_v desire_v or_o need_v sight_n to_o the_o blind_a bread_n to_o the_o hungry_a clothing_n to_o the_o naked_a strength_n to_o the_o weak_a a_o physician_n to_o the_o sick_a pardon_v to_o the_o guilty_a comfort_n to_o the_o mourner_n life_n in_o death_n and_o everlasting_a life_n after_o death_n when_o the_o devil_n suggest_v to_o a_o good_a man_n that_o it_o be_v in_o vain_a for_o he_o to_o mind_n god_n for_o he_o shall_v never_o get_v to_o heaven_n he_o reply_v i_o will_v then_o follow_v hard_a after_o he_o and_o keep_v close_o to_o he_o that_o i_o may_v enjoy_v as_o much_o as_o possible_a of_o god_n here_o on_o earth_n where_o sin_n lie_v heavy_a every_o affliction_n will_v be_v light_a it_o be_v the_o say_v of_o the_o noble_a marquis_n of_o vico_fw-la their_o money_n perish_v with_o they_o who_o think_v all_o the_o wealth_n in_o the_o world_n worth_a one_o hour_n communion_n with_o jesus_n christ_n since_o no_o man_n can_v see_v thou_o and_o live_v lord_n let_v i_o die_v say_v a_o holy_a man_n that_o i_o may_v see_v thou_o and_o be_v with_o thou_o if_o your_o condition_n be_v never_o so_o low_a if_o your_o heart_n be_v low_a it_o be_v well_o enough_o the_o issue_n will_v be_v good_a and_o while_o god_n the_o fountain_n be_v leave_v you_o need_v not_o much_o complain_v for_o want_v of_o a_o break_a cistern_n while_o other_o live_v without_o god_n in_o the_o world_n a_o christian_n shall_v endeavour_v to_o live_v as_o without_o the_o world_n in_o and_o upon_o his_o god_n the_o same_o love_n of_o god_n which_o lead_v one_o christian_a into_o the_o wine-cellar_n and_o give_v he_o assurance_n may_v lead_v another_o into_o a_o prison_n for_o the_o trial_n and_o exercise_n of_o his_o grace_n in_o prayer_n if_o a_o man_n have_v not_o a_o care_n of_o the_o first_o wander_n of_o his_o heart_n from_o god_n he_o will_v hardly_o be_v able_a to_o recover_v himself_o afterward_o it_o be_v a_o memorable_a say_v of_o a_o great_a man_n he_o may_v be_v deceive_v who_o think_v to_o save_v any_o thing_n by_o his_o religion_n more_o than_o his_o soul_n before_o a_o man_n be_v humble_v he_o complain_v of_o god_n unkindness_n to_o he_o but_o afterward_o of_o his_o own_o to_o god_n god_n have_v one_o son_n without_o any_o sin_n our_o bless_a redeemer_n but_o never_o any_o son_n without_o some_o affliction_n and_o suffer_v bless_a be_v god_n we_o have_v any_o thing_n to_o deny_v or_o lose_v or_o count_v nothing_o for_o christ_n a_o believer_n pray_v with_o fervency_n as_o if_o he_o will_v not_o be_v delay_v and_o then_o wait_v patient_o as_o if_o he_o have_v not_o pray_v if_o you_o can_v say_v god_n be_v your_o god_n and_o all_o that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n be_v he_o how_o can_v your_o fear_n want_n if_o he_o be_v not_o all-sufficient_a why_o do_v you_o call_v he_o so_o if_o he_o be_v why_o do_v you_o not_o trust_v in_o he_o if_o the_o lord_n be_v good_a to_o the_o soul_n that_o seek_v he_o how_o good_a be_v he_o to_o the_o soul_n that_o find_v he_o if_o say_v jerom_n my_o father_n and_o mother_n do_v with_o tear_n entreat_v i_o and_o my_o wife_n hang_v about_o my_o neck_n and_o my_o child_n fall_v at_o my_o foot_n to_o beseech_v i_o to_o forsake_v christ_n i_o will_v cast_v they_o all_o off_o father_n mother_n wife_n and_o child_n and_o say_v farewell_o all_o welcome_a christ_n the_o follow_a account_n of_o the_o conversion_n of_o his_o niece_n will_v give_v far_a testimony_n to_o his_o charity_n zeal_n and_o diligence_n to_o promote_v religion_n in_o his_o family_n and_o how_o god_n honour_v he_o by_o the_o lustre_n of_o a_o holy_a example_n to_o recommend_v serious_a godliness_n to_o those_o who_o see_v his_o conversation_n and_o by_o his_o seasonable_a counsel_n to_o assist_v the_o recovery_n of_o one_o who_o under_o great_a conviction_n and_o temptation_n be_v in_o danger_n to_o be_v lose_v by_o too_o long_o conceal_v of_o the_o state_n of_o her_o case_n from_o such_o as_o can_v advise_v and_o direct_v she_o a_o short_a account_n of_o the_o conversion_n of_o mrs._n p._n f._n as_o she_o leave_v it_o under_o her_o hand_n before_o her_o death_n i_o be_o now_o go_v about_o to_o call_v to_o mind_v the_o great_a mercy_n and_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n towards_o i_o the_o unworthy_a of_o all_o his_o servant_n to_o record_v his_o lovingkindness_n and_o to_o make_v mention_n of_o the_o many_o and_o great_a deliverance_n i_o have_v have_v i_o know_v not_o where_o to_o begin_v nor_o where_o to_o make_v a_o end_n i_o be_o even_o swallow_v up_o in_o admiration_n and_o ready_a to_o cry_v out_o with_o david_n what_o shall_v i_o render_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o his_o benefit_n especial_o when_o i_o consider_v my_o own_o vileness_n by_o nature_n and_o how_o i_o deserve_v to_o be_v cast_v into_o hell_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o be_v bear_v as_o have_v a_o heart_n full_a of_o sin_n vanity_n and_o rebellion_n against_o god_n be_v conceive_v in_o sin_n and_o bear_v in_o iniquity_n and_o as_o if_o this_o have_v not_o be_v enough_o i_o have_v add_v numberless_a most_o heinous_a transgression_n i_o have_v reason_n to_o bewail_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o thought_n i_o be_v think_v thought_n of_o pride_n and_o vanity_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o can_v think_v i_o be_v run_v away_o from_o god_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o can_v go_v with_o my_o back_n towards_o heaven_n and_o my_o face_n towards_o hell_n after_o i_o come_v to_o year_n of_o discretion_n the_o more_o i_o know_v of_o god_n the_o more_o i_o sin_v against_o he_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n have_v be_v innumerable_a and_o very_o heinous_a in_o their_o nature_n so_o that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o pray_v with_o david_n lord_n remember_v not_o against_o i_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n o_o the_o precious_a time_n i_o have_v lose_v and_o the_o golden_a opportunity_n that_o i_o have_v squander_v away_o the_o light_n and_o love_n the_o mercy_n and_o mean_n of_o grace_n that_o i_o have_v sin_v against_o i_o have_v spend_v the_o best_a of_o my_o year_n in_o the_o service_n of_o sin_n and_o in_o the_o neglect_n of_o the_o great_a concern_v of_o my_o soul_n i_o confess_v when_o i_o be_v but_o a_o child_n since_o i_o have_v any_o understanding_n i_o have_v always_o some_o love_n to_o the_o way_n and_o people_n of_o god_n and_o some_o delight_n in_o holy_a duty_n and_o be_v fearful_a of_o
mat._n 7._o 7._o psal_n 30._o 18._o joh._n 16._o 24._o psal_n 84._o 11._o isa_n 40._o 27._o psal_n 27._o 14._o lament_n 3._o 24_o 25_o 26._o psal_n 147._o 11._o psal_n 26._o 3_o 4._o isa_n 50._o 10._o isa_n 41._o 10._o isa_n 43._o 24_o 25._o isa_n 44._o 22._o 1_o joh._n 1._o 9_o 1_o joh._n 2._o 1._o mark_v 1._o 18_o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o ezek._n 34._o 6._o psal_n 103._o 8_o 9_o job_n 17._o 9_o prov._n 4._o 18._o phil._n 1._o 6._o joh._n 10._o 7._o rom._n 16._o 20._o heb._n 4._o 15._o these_o promise_n with_o many_o more_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o give_v i_o in_o the_o time_n of_o my_o distress_n and_o trouble_v of_o spirit_n and_o i_o find_v they_o revive_v cordial_n o_o how_o welcome_a be_v a_o promise_n to_o i_o when_o i_o have_v be_v ready_a to_o despair_v and_o to_o give_v up_o all_o for_o lose_v and_o have_v nothing_o to_o support_v i_o then_o do_v i_o take_v the_o bible_n into_o my_o hand_n and_o desire_v god_n to_o direct_v some_o suitable_a promise_n to_o i_o and_o open_v the_o bible_n the_o first_o place_n i_o have_v cast_v my_o eye_n upon_o have_v often_o be_v a_o precious_a and_o suitable_a promise_n and_o have_v be_v set_v home_o with_o such_o power_n as_o wonderful_o to_o comfort_v i_o once_o be_v under_o great_a fear_n and_o terror_n i_o open_v the_o bible_n and_o the_o first_o place_n i_o fix_v my_o eye_n upon_o be_v isa_n 54._o 4._o fear_v not_o for_o thou_o shall_v not_o be_v confound_v nor_o put_v to_o shame_n thou_o shall_v forget_v the_o shame_n of_o thy_o youth_n thy_o maker_n be_v thy_o husband_n the_o lord_n of_o host_n be_v his_o name_n and_o thy_o redeemer_n the_o holy_a one_o of_o israel_n the_o god_n of_o the_o whole_a earth_n shall_v he_o be_v call_v for_o the_o lord_n have_v call_v thou_o as_o a_o woman_n forsake_v and_o grieve_v in_o spirit_n etc._n etc._n for_o a_o small_a moment_n have_v i_o forsake_v thou_o but_o with_o great_a mercy_n will_v i_o gather_v thou_o in_o a_o little_a wrath_n i_o hide_v my_o face_n for_o a_o moment_n but_o with_o everlasting_a kindness_n will_v i_o have_v mercy_n on_o thou_o say_v the_o lord_n thy_o redeemer_n etc._n etc._n i_o be_v wonderful_o affect_v in_o the_o read_n these_o sweet_a promise_n and_o take_v it_o as_o a_o voice_n from_o heaven_n to_o i_o because_o i_o have_v desire_v some_o such_o suitable_a promise_n at_o another_o time_n be_v in_o great_a trouble_n and_o fear_v i_o shall_v never_o hold_v out_o but_o be_v overcome_v by_o sin_n and_o satan_n i_o open_v my_o bible_n and_o the_o first_o place_n i_o fix_v my_o eye_n upon_o be_v isa_n 41._o 10._o fear_v not_o for_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o be_v not_o dismay_v for_o i_o be_o thy_o god_n i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o yea_o will_v uphold_v thou_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o my_o righteousness_n i_o can_v express_v the_o comfort_n i_o receive_v by_o this_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a promise_n one_o sabbath-day_n night_n be_v still_o follow_v with_o temptation_n full_a of_o unbelieve_a doubt_n and_o fear_n i_o be_v much_o trouble_v about_o it_o that_o i_o who_o have_v receive_v such_o great_a mercy_n shall_v have_v such_o vain_a thought_n and_o be_v so_o full_a of_o unbelief_n notwithstanding_o the_o experience_n i_o have_v of_o god_n goodness_n and_o mercy_n to_o i_o and_o the_o assurance_n i_o have_v before_o of_o his_o love_n i_o be_v tempt_v to_o think_v that_o i_o be_v not_o elect_v and_o that_o therefore_o all_o i_o do_v be_v to_o no_o purpose_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v never_o be_v save_v this_o be_v a_o subtle_a and_o strong_a temptation_n satan_n do_v not_o only_a labour_n to_o drive_v i_o off_o from_o all_o duty_n but_o to_o weaken_v my_o faith_n and_o bring_v i_o to_o despair_n but_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v many_o time_n before_o wonderful_o rescue_v i_o from_o the_o roar_a lion_n will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v foil_v by_o he_o but_o be_v please_v to_o present_v that_o scripture_n to_o my_o eye_n there_o be_v no_o temptation_n have_v take_v you_o but_o such_o as_o be_v common_a to_o man_n and_o god_n be_v faithful_a who_o will_v not_o suffer_v you_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o what_o you_o be_v able_a but_o will_v with_o the_o temptation_n make_v a_o way_n to_o escape_v that_o you_o may_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o at_o another_o time_n be_v great_o trouble_v with_o unbelief_n that_o place_n in_o the_o revelation_n be_v terrible_a to_o i_o the_o fearful_a and_o unbelieving_a shall_v have_v their_o part_n in_o the_o lake_n that_o burn_v with_o fire_n and_o brimstone_n which_o be_v the_o second_o death_n this_o make_v i_o exceed_o afraid_a i_o think_v if_o the_o fearful_a and_o unbelieve_a shall_v perish_v then_o sure_o i_o shall_v because_o i_o be_v so_o full_a of_o fear_n and_o doubt_n and_o unbelief_n but_o the_o lord_n do_v not_o leave_v i_o in_o this_o great_a streight_n he_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v overwhelm_v with_o sorrow_n but_o quick_o direct_v i_o to_o a_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a scripture_n that_o be_v as_o comfortable_a as_o the_o other_o be_v terrible_a 2_o tim._n 2._o 13._o if_o we_o believe_v not_o yet_o be_v abide_v faithful_a he_o can_v deny_v himself_o this_o promise_n be_v very_o sweet_a and_o suitable_a to_o my_o present_a condition_n neither_o do_v i_o remember_v there_o be_v such_o a_o place_n before_o these_o and_o many_o of_o the_o forenamed_a promise_n be_v give_v i_o in_o my_o trouble_n and_o distress_n and_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o by_o his_o spirit_n to_o make_v application_n of_o they_o to_o my_o own_o soul_n for_o my_o consolation_n certain_o i_o may_v say_v with_o david_n i_o have_v faint_v unless_o i_o have_v believe_v to_o see_v the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n in_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_n the_o sorrow_n of_o death_n do_v compass_v i_o about_o and_o the_o pain_n of_o hell_n get_v hold_v upon_o i_o i_o find_v trouble_n and_o sorrow_n then_o call_v i_o upon_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n o_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o deliver_v my_o soul_n gracious_a be_v the_o lord_n and_o righteous_a yea_o our_o god_n be_v merciful_a i_o be_v bring_v low_a and_o he_o help_v i_o return_v unto_o thy_o rest_n o_o my_o soul_n for_o the_o lord_n have_v deal_v bountiful_o with_o thou_o in_o the_o multitude_n of_o my_o thought_n within_o i_o thy_o comfort_n delight_v my_o soul_n in_o the_o day_n when_o i_o cry_v thou_o answer_v i_o and_o strengthen_v i_o with_o strength_n in_o my_o soul_n blessed_n be_v the_o lord_n because_o he_o have_v hear_v the_o voice_n of_o my_o supplication_n the_o lord_n be_v my_o strength_n and_o my_o song_n my_o heart_n trust_v in_o he_o and_o i_o be_o help_v if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v the_o lord_n who_o have_v be_v on_o my_o side_n when_o satan_n rise_v up_o against_o i_o he_o have_v sure_o swallow_v i_o up_o the_o lord_n have_v call_v i_o out_o of_o darkness_n into_o his_o marvellous_a light_n he_o have_v pluck_v i_o as_o a_o firebrand_n out_o of_o hell_n and_o set_v i_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n so_o that_o i_o may_v say_v again_o and_o again_o great_a be_v his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o for_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o low_a hell_n but_o o_o why_o be_v it_o that_o i_o be_o so_o little_a sensible_a of_o this_o great_a deliverance_n how_o can_v i_o look_v back_o upon_o all_o this_o without_o admire_v the_o free_a grace_n and_o undeserved_a love_n of_o god_n towards_o such_o a_o worthless_a worm_n as_o i_o who_o be_v a_o enemy_n to_o he_o and_o a_o rebel_n against_o he_o and_o have_v nothing_o in_o i_o but_o what_o deserve_a hell_n o_o that_o ever_o the_o lord_n shall_v from_o eternity_n elect_a and_o choose_v i_o to_o salvation_n through_o jesus_n christ_n that_o god_n shall_v pass_v by_o thousand_o and_o let_v they_o alone_o to_o perish_v in_o their_o sin_n and_o cast_v a_o look_v of_o love_n upon_o i_o and_o when_o i_o be_v in_o my_o blood_n say_v unto_o i_o live_v that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o give_v his_o son_n for_o i_o but_o to_o i_o that_o he_o shall_v take_v i_o with_o the_o prodigal_n from_o the_o trough_n and_o with_o the_o beggar_n from_o the_o dunghill_n and_o make_v i_o a_o heir_n of_o glory_n when_o i_o read_v that_o christ_n flock_n be_v but_o a_o little_a flock_n and_o that_o straight_o be_v the_o gate_n and_o narrow_a be_v the_o way_n that_o lead_v to_o life_n and_o few_o there_o be_v that_o find_v it_o i_o can_v but_o wonder_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v in_o that_o number_n and_o because_o i_o can_v sufficient_o admire_v i_o will_v therefore_o adore_v my_o good_a god_n but_o what_o return_v shall_v i_o
be_v a_o temptation_n and_o present_o to_o run_v to_o jesus_n christ_n for_o succour_n and_o relief_n and_o to_o apply_v the_o promise_n unto_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o quick_o find_v comfort_n and_o be_v soon_o free_v from_o temptation_n but_o in_o this_o my_o prosperity_n i_o be_v ready_a to_o say_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v remove_v i_o begin_v to_o think_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v in_o adversity_n and_o sometime_o i_o be_v ready_a to_o question_v whether_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n child_n because_o i_o have_v no_o affliction_n i_o think_v god_n do_v not_o love_v i_o because_o he_o do_v not_o chasten_v i_o i_o think_v i_o can_v bear_v any_o thing_n he_o shall_v lay_v upon_o i_o as_o i_o value_v not_o life_n so_o i_o fear_v not_o death_n i_o think_v i_o can_v free_o and_o willing_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_v call_v to_o it_o but_o this_o joyful_a lively_a active_a frame_n of_o spirit_n do_v not_o long_o continue_v in_o about_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n it_o begin_v to_o abate_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v more_o cold_a and_o indifferent_a in_o spiritual_a thing_n and_o not_o to_o be_v so_o active_a and_o lively_a as_o before_o this_o be_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o i_o and_o make_v i_o to_o question_v all_o that_o be_v pass_v i_o think_v i_o shall_v still_o have_v grow_v better_a and_o better_o and_o not_o worse_o then_o that_o scripture_n be_v terrible_a to_o i_o 2_o pet._n 2._o 29._o if_o after_o they_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n through_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n they_o be_v again_o entangle_v therein_o and_o overcome_v their_o latter_a end_n be_v worse_a than_o their_o beginning_n and_o that_o scripture_n heb._n 6._o 4._o it_o be_v impossible_a for_o those_o that_o be_v once_o enlighten_v and_o have_v taste_v the_o good_a word_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n if_o they_o fall_v away_o to_o renew_v they_o again_o to_o repentance_n also_o that_o text_n rev._n 3._o 15_o 16._o because_o thou_o be_v neither_o hot_a nor_o cold_a i_o will_v spew_v thou_o out_o of_o my_o mouth_n i_o be_v much_o sensible_a of_o my_o backslide_n fear_v i_o shall_v turn_v apostate_n have_v not_o that_o sweet_a promise_v interpose_v i_o will_v heal_v their_o backslide_n and_o love_v they_o free_o i_o have_v be_v certain_o swallow_v up_o in_o despair_n satan_n that_o roar_a lion_n come_v upon_o i_o very_o fierce_o but_o that_o scripture_n be_v very_o comfortable_a to_o i_o i_o will_v put_v my_o fear_n into_o their_o heart_n and_o my_o spirit_n into_o their_o inward_a part_n and_o they_o shall_v never_o depart_v from_o i_o and_o who_o he_o love_v he_o love_v to_o the_o end_n and_o he_o that_o have_v begin_v a_o good_a work_n will_v perform_v it_o unto_o the_o day_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o faithful_a be_v he_o that_o have_v call_v you_o who_o will_v also_o do_v it_o these_o and_o other_o scripture_n do_v support_v i_o but_o i_o can_v not_o attain_v to_o my_o former_a lively_a performance_n of_o holy_a duty_n nor_o have_v i_o that_o communion_n with_o god_n in_o holy_a duty_n as_o former_o which_o be_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o i_o and_o keep_v i_o from_o rejoice_v in_o god_n yet_o i_o can_v say_v but_o i_o have_v sometime_o assurance_n of_o god_n love_n but_o not_o constant_o as_o i_o have_v before_o then_o my_o grandmother_n be_v sick_a i_o go_v to_o be_v with_o she_o at_o my_o uncle_n house_n he_o be_v a_o very_a good_a man_n his_o company_n be_v no_o small_a comfort_n to_o i_o my_o grandmother_n also_o be_v a_o very_a pious_a woman_n be_v always_o speak_v of_o what_o be_v good_a i_o enjoy_v much_o of_o god_n while_o i_o be_v there_o but_o yet_o be_v many_o time_n in_o fear_n about_o my_o spiritual_a state_n and_o much_o trouble_v with_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n after_o i_o have_v be_v there_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o visit_v i_o with_o the_o small_a pox_n which_o be_v a_o very_a sore_a disease_n to_o i_o i_o be_v bring_v so_o low_a as_o to_o be_v give_v over_o for_o dead_a by_o most_o if_o not_o all_o that_o see_v i_o and_o once_o they_o think_v i_o have_v be_v actual_o dead_a when_o i_o be_v first_o sick_a i_o begin_v to_o be_v in_o great_a fear_n what_o will_v become_v of_o i_o if_o i_o shall_v die_v but_o this_o cloud_n be_v soon_o blow_v over_o and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o shine_v upon_o i_o with_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n and_o speak_v peace_n to_o my_o conscience_n and_o when_o i_o be_v as_o weak_a as_o i_o think_v any_o can_v be_v and_o live_v yet_o have_v i_o then_o much_o inward_a joy_n and_o comfort_n the_o promise_n be_v as_o cordial_n to_o my_o faint_a spirit_n that_o promise_n isa_n 41._o 10_o do_v often_o refresh_v i_o fear_v not_o for_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o be_v not_o dismay_v for_o i_o be_o thy_o god_n i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v uphold_v thou_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o my_o righteousness_n that_o also_o psal_n 73._o 25._o my_o flesh_n and_o my_o heart_n fail_v but_o god_n be_v the_o strength_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o my_o portion_n for_o ever_o so_o psal_n 43._o 5._o why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o be_v thou_o disquiet_v within_o i_o hope_v thou_o in_o god_n for_o i_o shall_v yet_o praise_v he_o who_o be_v the_o health_n of_o my_o countenance_n and_o my_o god_n these_o and_o many_o other_o promise_v be_v my_o support_n in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o distress_n i_o have_v then_o such_o assurance_n of_o god_n goodness_n and_o love_n to_o i_o and_o of_o the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o of_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n that_o i_o long_v for_o death_n and_o can_v not_o bear_v the_o thought_n of_o live_v any_o long_o i_o have_v such_o fore-tastes_a of_o heaven_n that_o i_o care_v not_o for_o the_o earth_n i_o earnest_o desire_v to_o be_v dissolve_v and_o to_o be_v with_o christ_n which_o be_v best_a of_o all_o i_o think_v if_o i_o shall_v live_v any_o long_a i_o shall_v but_o sin_n against_o god_n and_o that_o i_o can_v not_o glorify_v he_o in_o my_o life_n as_o i_o desire_v i_o think_v if_o he_o shall_v restore_v i_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v enable_v to_o walk_v answerable_o to_o so_o great_a a_o mercy_n these_o and_o other_o such_o reason_n make_v i_o impatient_a of_o life_n and_o long_o for_o death_n i_o be_v angry_a with_o any_o that_o pray_v for_o my_o life_n i_o now_o fear_v that_o i_o do_v sin_n in_o be_v so_o desirous_a of_o death_n and_o not_o submit_v my_o will_n to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n to_o be_v at_o his_o disposal_n whether_o for_o death_n or_o life_n so_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n after_o a_o long_a and_o tedious_a sickness_n to_o raise_v i_o up_o from_o the_o very_a gate_n of_o death_n this_o be_v look_v upon_o as_o almost_o a_o resurrection_n from_o the_o dead_a for_o which_o great_a deliverance_n i_o can_v never_o be_v sufficient_o thankful_a and_o because_o i_o so_o much_o desire_v to_o die_v i_o do_v not_o prize_v my_o life_n and_o this_o deliverance_n as_o i_o shall_v have_v do_v neither_o do_v i_o render_v to_o the_o lord_n according_a to_o the_o mercy_n i_o receive_v from_o he_o i_o desire_v now_o to_o be_v true_o thankful_a to_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o his_o mercy_n and_o to_o show_v forth_o my_o thankfulness_n by_o walk_v more_o close_o with_o he_o all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n the_o follow_a encourage_v consideration_n among_o other_o be_v collect_v by_o he_o out_o of_o several_a book_n and_o sermon_n and_o be_v print_v from_o his_o own_o paper_n in_o hope_n of_o be_v useful_a for_o the_o support_n of_o other_o i._o thou_o that_o complain_v of_o a_o hard_a heart_n and_o fain_o will_v mourn_v for_o thy_o sin_n to_o thou_o i_o say_v be_v not_o discourage_v thy_o hardness_n fear_v and_o feel_v be_v not_o the_o plague_n of_o hardness_n it_o be_v the_o disease_n indeed_o of_o the_o heart_n but_o it_o be_v not_o the_o curse_n it_o shall_v not_o destroy_v thou_o thou_o may_v be_v comfort_v under_o hardness_n feel_v and_o bewail_v and_o pray_v against_o true_a tenderness_n about_o sin_n be_v always_o accompany_v with_o dislike_n and_o hatred_n against_o sin_n and_o with_o watch_v and_o strive_v against_o it_o if_o thou_o have_v so_o much_o tenderness_n bless_v god_n and_o be_v thankful_a ii_o there_o be_v no_o instance_n can_v be_v give_v of_o a_o soul_n utter_o for_o saken_a of_o god_n that_o can_v mourn_v for_o the_o want_n of_o his_o presence_n if_o god_n love_n be_v precious_a to_o thou_o and_o most_o desirable_a be_v
thankful_a it_o be_v not_o grace_n that_o be_v deny_v thou_o but_o only_a comfort_n she_o that_o mourn_v that_o her_o belove_a be_v go_v and_o have_v withdraw_v himself_o be_v a_o spouse_n still_o she_o have_v a_o interest_n in_o the_o bridegroom_n though_o she_o see_v he_o not_o disease_n feel_v in_o the_o soul_n seldom_o prove_v mortal_a desire_v after_o christ_n and_o sanctification_n be_v a_o sign_n of_o no_o utter_a rejection_n the_o soul_n that_o can_v true_o desire_v mercy_n be_v not_o total_o exclude_v mercy_n o_o let_v tempt_v trouble_v soul_n then_o be_v comfort_v the_o bless_a god_n have_v a_o compassionate_a open_a ear_n to_o all_o sensible_a self-bemoaning_a sinner_n jer._n 31._o 18._o i_o have_v sure_o hear_v ephraim_n be_v moan_v himself_o there_o be_v none_o such_o but_o shall_v be_v hear_v of_o god_n they_o shall_v be_v love_v of_o god_n that_o loath_a themselves_o they_o shall_v be_v acquit_v of_o god_n that_o condemn_v themselves_o his_o merciful_a ear_n be_v still_o open_a to_o self-bemoaning_a sinner_n when_o once_o a_o sinner_n come_v to_o himself_o he_o be_v not_o far_o from_o god_n isa_n 40._o 27._o why_o say_v thou_o o_o jacob_n and_o speak_v o_o israel_n my_o way_n be_v hide_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o my_o judgement_n be_v pass_v over_o from_o my_o god_n the_o inward_a thought_n of_o many_o sensible_a sinner_n be_v that_o god_n have_v cast_v they_o off_o and_o shut_v his_o door_n of_o mercy_n upon_o they_o and_o will_v never_o concern_v himself_o more_o in_o their_o salvation_n such_o unkind_a thought_n we_o be_v apt_a to_o have_v of_o a_o good_a god_n when_o conscience_n bring_v our_o sin_n to_o a_o bitter_a remembrance_n well_o now_o say_v god_n why_o say_v thou_o o_o jacob_n the_o word_n be_v a_o reproof_n for_o distrust_n of_o god_n why_o do_v thou_o think_v and_o speak_v so_o unkind_o of_o i_o as_o that_o i_o shall_v cast_v thou_o out_o of_o my_o care_n and_o thought_n my_o way_n be_v hide_v from_o the_o lord._n what_o be_v the_o meaning_n of_o that_o why_o god_n take_v no_o notice_n of_o my_o wretchedness_n to_o commiserate_v my_o condition_n and_o relieve_v i_o he_o care_v not_o what_o become_v of_o i_o or_o my_o way_n and_o my_o way_n be_v hide_v that_o he_o can_v help_v i_o and_o my_o judgement_n be_v pass_v from_o my_o god_n that_o be_v there_o be_v a_o sentence_n of_o death_n pass_v on_o i_o there_o be_v no_o escape_n but_o see_v how_o compassionate_a the_o lord_n speak_v why_o do_v thou_o say_v so_o poor_a soul_n i_o be_o not_o thoughtless_a and_o regardless_o of_o thou_o as_o thou_o say_v v._n 28_o 29._o have_v thou_o not_o know_v and_o hear_v the_o everlasting_a god_n give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a and_o to_o they_o that_o have_v no_o might_n increase_v strength_n such_o as_o be_v despond_v and_o hopeless_a in_o themselves_o god_n raise_v they_o up_o they_o that_o wait_v on_o the_o lord_n shall_v renew_v their_o strength_n god_n in_o his_o time_n will_v refresh_v every_o weary_a soul_n iii_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n be_v god_n free_a offer_n and_o promise_v of_o life_n and_o salvation_n by_o christ_n to_o all_o sinner_n that_o shall_v believe_v in_o he_o it_o be_v a_o gracious_a and_o firm_a obligation_n in_o which_o god_n do_v make_v over_o himself_o and_o all_o his_o goodness_n in_o christ_n to_o all_o believer_n it_o be_v a_o great_a matter_n for_o god_n to_o be_v our_o god_n in_o special_a covenant_n when_o he_o say_v i_o will_v be_v your_o god_n it_o be_v as_o if_o he_o shall_v have_v say_v i_o will_v bestow_v my_o self_n upon_o you_o what_o i_o be_o i_o be_o for_o thou_o my_o spirit_n my_o comfort_n my_o son_n my_o love_n my_o goodness_n my_o assistance_n my_o happiness_n it_o be_v thou_o my_o holiness_n shall_v make_v you_o holy_a my_o wisdom_n shall_v make_v you_o wise_a my_o righteousness_n shall_v make_v you_o righteous_a whatsoever_o a_o god_n can_v do_v for_o his_o people_n i_o will_v do_v for_o you_o you_o shall_v have_v all_o thing_n needful_a for_o you_o all_o thing_n desirable_a all_o that_o you_o can_v expect_v from_o a_o god_n expect_v it_o from_o i_o i_o will_v be_v gracious_a to_o pass_v by_o thy_o unworthiness_n i_o will_v be_v merciful_a to_o pardon_v thy_o sin_n i_o will_v be_v holiness_n to_o change_v thy_o nature_n i_o will_v be_v assistance_n to_o thou_o in_o duty_n i_o will_v be_v comfort_n to_o thou_o in_o trouble_n i_o will_v be_v wisdom_n to_o cure_v thy_o folly_n i_o will_v be_v plenty_n to_o thy_o want_n i_o will_v be_v strength_n to_o thy_o weakness_n i_o will_v give_v a_o blessing_n to_o your_o estate_n i_o will_v be_v providence_n as_o to_o your_o danger_n i_o will_v be_v preservation_n as_o to_o your_o person_n i_o will_v be_v salvation_n to_o your_o soul_n i_o will_v be_v your_o sun_n and_o shield_n i_o will_v be_v your_o recompense_n and_o exceed_v great_a reward_n i_o will_v be_v a_o god_n unto_o you_o i_o will_v be_v your_o god_n and_o guide_v unto_o death_n and_o your_o portion_n for_o ever_o this_o be_v for_o god_n to_o be_v our_o god_n in_o special_a covenant_n iv._o there_o may_v be_v faith_n where_o there_o be_v no_o assurance_n remember_v it_o o_o my_o soul_n for_o thy_o comfort_n and_o make_v a_o right_a use_n of_o it_o thou_o may_v be_v a_o true_a believer_n though_o thou_o be_v but_o a_o weak_a believer_n nay_o though_o thou_o be_v ready_a to_o think_v thyself_o no_o believer_n it_o be_v one_o thing_n to_o have_v a_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o salvation_n and_o another_o to_o know_v it_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o many_o a_o good_a christian_a to_o trust_v in_o god_n and_o believe_v in_o jesus_n christ_n and_o yet_o in_o time_n of_o desertion_n and_o temptation_n he_o may_v not_o know_v it_o a_o soul_n under_o the_o eclipse_n of_o god_n countenance_n may_v think_v himself_o in_o a_o lose_a condition_n as_o david_n do_v i_o say_v i_o be_o cut_v off_o from_o before_o thy_o eye_n psal_n 31._o 22._o but_o it_o be_v not_o so_o for_o god_n then_o hear_v the_o voice_n of_o his_o supplication_n a_o man_n may_v true_o fear_v the_o lord_n and_o obey_v the_o voice_n of_o his_o servant_n and_o yet_o may_v walk_v in_o darkness_n and_o see_v no_o light_n isa_n 50._o 10._o zion_n say_v the_o lord_n have_v forsake_v i_o my_o god_n have_v forget_v i_o isa_n 49._o 14._o but_o it_o be_v not_o so_o there_o may_v be_v faith_n of_o adherence_n where_o there_o be_v not_o faith_n of_o evidence_n the_o soul_n may_v cleave_v fast_o to_o christ_n and_o say_v if_o i_o perish_v i_o will_v perish_v at_o thy_o foot_n hope_v wait_a trust_v though_o thou_o kill_v i_o yet_o i_o will_v trust_v in_o thou_o though_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o thou_o love_v i_o yet_o i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o love_v thou_o there_o may_v be_v faith_n without_o assurance_n otherways_o true_a justify_v faith_n may_v be_v lose_v for_o assurance_n be_v with_o some_o quite_o lose_v at_o least_o for_o a_o time_n but_o true_a faith_n can_v be_v lose_v it_o may_v decay_v but_o not_o fail_v i_o have_v pray_v for_o thou_o that_o thy_o faith_n fail_v not_o say_v christ_n to_o peter_n this_o prayer_n he_o make_v for_o all_o believer_n they_o also_o that_o have_v some_o assurance_n of_o their_o salvation_n have_v it_o not_o in_o the_o same_o measure_n there_o may_v be_v a_o good_a measure_n of_o assurance_n though_o not_o full_a assurance_n there_o be_v a_o probable_a assurance_n i_o mean_v when_o a_o christian_a compare_v his_o heart_n and_o life_n with_o the_o example_n of_o christ_n and_o rule_n of_o the_o word_n find_v that_o though_o he_o have_v some_o reason_n to_o fear_v lest_o he_o shall_v be_v a_o hypocrite_n yet_o he_o see_v more_o cause_n to_o hope_v than_o to_o fear_n when_o after_o he_o have_v search_v himself_o make_v a_o impartial_a trial_n of_o himself_o he_o come_v to_o this_o conclusion_n though_o i_o be_o not_o as_o confident_a i_o shall_v go_v to_o heaven_n as_o i_o be_o that_o there_o be_v a_o heaven_n yet_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o see_v more_o ground_n to_o hope_v that_o my_o sin_n be_v pardon_v and_o that_o i_o be_o in_o a_o state_n of_o salvation_n than_o to_o fear_v it_o be_v otherwise_o when_o i_o reason_v the_o case_n with_o my_o soul_n i_o have_v more_o argument_n for_o i_o than_o against_o i_o and_o can_v say_v if_o i_o die_v this_o moment_n it_o be_v not_o only_o possible_a but_o probable_a that_o i_o shall_v be_v save_v this_o i_o call_v a_o probable_a assurance_n there_o may_v be_v doubt_n and_o fear_n where_o there_o be_v this_o assurance_n because_o doubt_n and_o fear_n do_v not_o always_o proceed_v from_o the_o weakness_n of_o grace_n but_o sometime_o from_o the_o strength_n of_o temptation_n a_o man_n that_o have_v
righteousness_n be_v more_o satisfactory_a and_o please_a unto_o god_n than_o all_o the_o sinner_n wickedness_n be_v injurious_a and_o displease_v to_o he_o o_o this_o be_v a_o very_a sweet_a and_o comfortable_a consideration_n indeed_o there_o be_v no_o such_o evil_a in_o sin_n to_o damn_v thou_o as_o there_o be_v merit_n in_o christ_n blood_n to_o save_v thou_o ix_o to_o despair_v of_o mercy_n be_v a_o great_a sin_n than_o all_o thy_o other_o sin_n this_o make_v thou_o like_o the_o devil_n himself_o it_o be_v the_o glory_n of_o divine_a grace_n to_o triumph_v over_o all_o the_o sinner_n unworthiness_n resolve_v therefore_o i_o will_v yet_o follow_v god_n though_o i_o have_v offend_v he_o come_v on_o i_o what_o will_v i_o know_v he_o be_v god_n and_o not_o man_n who_o can_v help_v nay_o will_v help_v if_o i_o come_v unto_o he_o isa_n 57_o 16._o i_o will_v not_o contend_v for_o ever_o nor_o be_v always_o wroth_a for_o the_o spirit_n will_v fail_v before_o i_o and_o the_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v make_v isa_n 41._o 17._o when_o the_o poor_a and_o needy_a seek_v water_n and_o there_o be_v none_o and_o their_o tongue_n fail_v for_o thirst_n i_o the_o lord_n will_v hear_v they_o i_o the_o god_n of_o israel_n will_v not_o forsake_v they_o when_o it_o come_v to_o fail_v faint_a sink_a die_a then_o come_v help_v be_v much_o in_o prayer_n and_o hold_v on_o wait_v god_n may_v make_v you_o seek_v and_o wait_v a_o long_a time_n aye_o but_o he_o will_v certain_o come_v and_o that_o will_v make_v amends_o for_o all_o x._o how_o shall_v one_o be_v willing_a to_o die_v that_o have_v not_o a_o sense_n of_o god_n love_n i_o answer_v when_o we_o can_v see_v our_o love_n to_o god_n though_o we_o can_v see_v god_n love_n to_o we_o what_o be_v the_o act_n of_o our_o soul_n towards_o god_n when_o we_o can_v see_v no_o love_n in_o his_o dispensation_n towards_o we_o as_o that_o good_a man_n under_o great_a affliction_n and_o dissatisfaction_n about_o the_o love_n of_o god_n at_o last_o 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and_o promise_n be_v he_o speak_v as_o comfortable_o in_o his_o word_n as_o ever_o he_o can_v deny_v his_o own_o word_n god_n sometime_o withdraw_v comfort_n that_o we_o may_v prize_v his_o word_n more_o and_o depend_v more_o upon_o that_o you_o please_v and_o honour_n god_n most_o when_o you_o can_v venture_v your_o soul_n on_o his_o bare_a word_n and_o promise_n a_o faith_n of_o recumbency_n on_o christ_n in_o the_o want_n of_o comfort_n do_v more_o honour_n god_n than_o the_o high_a faith_n of_o assurance_n why_o shall_v death_n be_v a_o terror_n to_o they_o that_o fear_v god_n none_o need_v to_o fear_v death_n that_o be_v escape_v from_o the_o dominion_n of_o sin_n and_o the_o devil_n can_v you_o say_v you_o do_v not_o love_n christ_n and_o that_o you_o do_v love_n sin_n then_o there_o be_v cause_n enough_o for_o fear_n but_o this_o be_v to_o bely_v the_o bless_a spirit_n the_o godly_a have_v hope_n in_o his_o death_n a_o hope_n of_o life_n even_o at_o the_o point_n of_o death_n a_o godly_a man_n hope_n can_v never_o fail_v he_o he_o may_v want_v sensible_a comfort_n but_o he_o do_v hope_n still_o death_n it_o be_v a_o go_n to_o god_n and_o shall_v a_o godly_a man_n be_v afraid_a of_o go_v to_o his_o god_n again_o it_o be_v a_o sleep_n a_o rest_n be_v weary_a man_n afraid_a of_o rheir_a rest_n and_o of_o go_v to_o sleep_v if_o death_n be_v a_o enemy_n it_o be_v a_o slay_a enemy_n christ_n have_v be_v the_o death_n of_o death_n and_o why_o shall_v that_o have_v terror_n in_o it_o that_o have_v no_o life_n in_o it_o a_o godly_a man_n be_v a_o real_a gainer_n by_o death_n he_o gain_v more_o by_o his_o death_n than_o ever_o he_o get_v all_o his_o life_n long_o viz._n happiness_n and_o joy_n that_o shall_v never_o end_v again_o though_o death_n separate_v relation_n here_o yet_o death_n can_v never_o separate_v the_o godly_a man_n soul_n and_o body_n from_o christ_n both_o still_o continue_v unite_v unto_o christ_n they_o sleep_v in_o jesus_n god_n be_v still_o their_o god_n and_o therefore_o let_v not_o the_o saint_n of_o god_n be_v afraid_a of_o death_n xi_o psal_n 147._o 11._o the_o lord_n take_v pleasure_n in_o they_o that_o fear_v he_o in_o they_o that_o hope_v in_o his_o mercy_n then_o our_o prayer_n please_v god_n when_o they_o be_v put_v up_o to_o he_o in_o faith_n and_o hope_n of_o his_o mercy_n poor_a tremble_a soul_n that_o meditute_v nothing_o but_o terror_n little_o think_v how_o it_o will_v please_v god_n to_o see_v they_o to_o hope_v in_o his_o mercy_n they_o be_v conscious_a to_o themselves_o how_o they_o have_v displease_v god_n but_o hope_v in_o god_n mercy_n and_o he_o will_v take_v pleasure_n in_o thou_o they_o bring_v most_o honour_n to_o god_n that_o be_v most_o admire_a and_o magnify_v of_o his_o mercy_n his_o heart_n be_v most_o set_v on_o mercy_n in_o all_o the_o manifestation_n of_o it_o therefore_o let_v poor_a droop_a soul_n still_o maintain_v hope_n in_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n through_o christ_n xii_o this_o be_v certain_a in_o every_o afflictive_a providence_n to_o believer_n there_o be_v more_o mercy_n than_o wrath_n nay_o it_o be_v all_o mercy_n in_o the_o issue_n and_o not_o in_o revengeful_a wrath_n but_o paternal_a anger_n they_o have_v support_v under_o all_o sometime_o they_o may_v be_v under_o desertion_n and_o no_o comfort_n of_o god_n come_v into_o their_o soul_n they_o be_v ready_a to_o say_v lord_n why_o cast_v thou_o off_o my_o soul_n but_o then_o they_o have_v this_o to_o support_v they_o they_o can_v love_v god_n and_o mourn_v after_o his_o favour_n though_o he_o seem_v to_o be_v go_v from_o they_o they_o can_v look_v after_o he_o and_o long_o for_o his_o return_n and_o this_o be_v such_o a_o effect_n of_o grace_n that_o be_v more_o worth_a than_o the_o whole_a world_n sustentation_n say_v mr._n baines_n i_o thank_v god_n i_o have_v though_o suavity_n i_o have_v none_o sickness_n and_o sorrow_n and_o death_n that_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o sin_n none_o can_v be_v exempt_v from_o but_o grace_n do_v this_o for_o believer_n the_o curse_n the_o hurt_a the_o venom_n of_o all_o be_v take_v away_o they_o be_v gainer_n by_o all_o 2_o cor._n 4._o 16._o though_o our_o outward_a man_n etc._n etc._n all_o work_n for_o their_o good_a other_o have_v comfort_n with_o a_o curse_n but_o believer_n have_v cross_n with_o a_o blessing_n the_o gild_n of_o sin_n the_o grace_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n do_v quite_o take_v away_o from_o all_o believer_n heb._n 8._o 12._o pardon_v mercy_n clear_v the_o soul_n of_o gild_n what_o comfort_n be_v this_o to_o such_o that_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o justification_n through_o christ_n they_o be_v in_o god_n account_n righteous_a and_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o christ_n their_o righteousness_n they_o may_v come_v into_o god_n presence_n with_o as_o assure_a welcome_n as_o adam_n in_o paradise_n or_o the_o angel_n now_o in_o heaven_n this_o thou_o may_v be_v assure_v of_o that_o christ_n will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax._n though_o thy_o faith_n be_v so_o small_a that_o it_o yield_v not_o light_a to_o other_o nor_o heat_v to_o thy_o own_o heart_n yet_o christ_n discern_v and_o accept_v it_o but_o can_v a_o man_n have_v the_o exercise_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o know_v it_o fear_v god_n and_o not_o discern_v it_o i_o answer_v yes_o some_o grace_n may_v then_o be_v act_v and_o discern_v by_o other_o as_o well_o as_o at_o any_o other_o time_n he_o may_v fear_v god_n as_o true_o and_o as_o much_o as_o ever_o and_o yet_o his_o grace_n may_v not_o have_v light_a to_o discover_v itself_o to_o he_o it_o may_v have_v a_o be_v and_o work_v in_o the_o heart_n when_o it_o be_v not_o clear_a in_o thy_o apprehension_n xiii_o harken_v unto_o the_o voice_n of_o god_n o_o poor_a doubt_v disconsolate_a sinner_n why_o do_v thou_o pass_v sentence_n against_o thyself_o thou_o say_v o_o my_o sin_n be_v very_o many_o well_o but_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v far_o more_o o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v very_o great_a true_o but_o the_o meroy_n of_o god_n be_v far_o great_a o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v of_o long_a continuance_n true_o but_o yet_o thy_o sin_n be_v but_o sin_n of_o time_n his_o mercy_n be_v the_o mercy_n of_o eternity_n o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v great_a than_o you_o be_v aware_a of_o they_o be_v crimson_a scarlet_a sin_n how_o great_a be_v they_o be_v they_o as_o great_a as_o the_o sin_n of_o manasseh_n that_o be_v a_o wizard_n that_o fill_v jerusalem_n with_o blood_n yet_o god_n pardon_v he_o be_v they_o great_a than_o the_o sin_n of_o mary_n magdalen_n out_o of_o who_o be_v cast_v seven_o devil_n and_o yet_o god_n have_v mercy_n for_o she_o o_o but_o i_o fear_v the_o stock_n of_o mercy_n be_v quite_o spend_v no_o his_o mercy_n endure_v for_o ever_o it_o be_v from_o everlasting_a to_o everlasting_a but_o i_o have_v exceed_o abuse_v mercy_n yet_o remember_v that_o though_o thou_o have_v sin_v against_o his_o mercy_n yet_o thou_o have_v not_o sin_v above_o his_o mercy_n isa_n 55._o 8._o my_o thought_n be_v not_o as_o your_o thought_n nor_o my_o way_n as_o your_o way_n as_o the_o heaven_n be_v above_o the_o earth_n so_o be_v my_o thought_n above_o your_o thought_n and_o my_o way_n above_o your_o way_n finis_fw-la finis_fw-la my_o honour_a friend_n mr._n joshua_n gearing_n sen._n
portion_n of_o scripture_n by_o heart_n and_o so_o he_o bring_v they_o to_o delight_v in_o it_o with_o what_o solicitude_n and_o care_n and_o unwearied_a pain_n with_o what_o compassion_n and_o pity_v and_o hearty_a affection_n he_o endeavour_v the_o conversion_n of_o some_o and_o the_o recovery_n of_o other_o relate_v to_o he_o from_o their_o declension_n in_o religion_n i_o and_o several_a other_o can_v testify_v his_o piety_n be_v uniform_a equal_a and_o harmonious_a and_o all_o of_o a_o piece_n and_o therefore_o his_o ordinary_a converse_n be_v grave_a and_o serious_a edify_v and_o useful_a his_o discourse_n become_v a_o christian_n that_o be_v under_o the_o eye_n and_o awe_n of_o god_n and_o in_o the_o fear_n of_o the_o lord_n all_o the_o day_n long_o he_o be_v always_o ready_a to_o begin_v or_o promote_v such_o discourse_n and_o great_o lament_v that_o when_o good_a people_n meet_v together_o they_o have_v so_o little_a talk_n of_o spiritual_a and_o religious_a matter_n i_o 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be_v inform_v by_o one_o who_o must_v needs_o know_v the_o truth_n of_o it_o that_o he_o will_v not_o let_v his_o silk_n lie_v on_o the_o damper_n side_n of_o the_o warehouse_n lest_o it_o shall_v thereby_o increase_v in_o weight_n and_o so_o wrong_a the_o buyer_n he_o walk_v with_o god_n in_o his_o call_v so_o regular_o as_o a_o christian_a that_o i_o be_o persuade_v he_o enjoy_v more_o of_o god_n in_o his_o shop_n and_o warehouse_n in_o his_o trade_n and_o business_n than_o many_o of_o we_o do_v in_o our_o retirement_n for_o prayer_n and_o devotion_n for_o let_v he_o come_v when_o he_o will_v from_o his_o secular_a affair_n his_o mind_n be_v more_o spiritual_a and_o heavenly_a than_o most_o ordinary_a christian_n be_v when_o they_o come_v from_o the_o solemn_a exercise_n of_o religion_n in_o short_a his_o principle_n his_o thought_n his_o inclination_n his_o affection_n and_o action_n his_o carriage_n and_o converse_n in_o the_o whole_a of_o they_o be_v such_o as_o may_v be_v true_o 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of_o god_n countenance_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o heavenly_a canaan_n and_o be_v past_o the_o fear_n and_o doubt_n and_o complaint_n of_o other_o tremble_v christian_n but_o god_n do_v not_o think_v this_o fit_a for_o he_o in_o the_o latter_a part_n of_o his_o life_n nevertheless_o he_o have_v that_o which_o be_v equivalent_a or_o better_a than_o the_o high_a flight_n of_o assurance_n can_v be_v for_o under_o his_o complaint_n of_o doubt_n and_o deadness_n and_o want_v of_o sensible_a communion_n with_o god_n he_o have_v a_o most_o steady_a trust_n in_o god_n through_o jesus_n christ_n and_o a_o uniform_a obedience_n and_o as_o he_o have_v be_v often_o tell_v his_o doubt_n seem_v to_o proceed_v from_o the_o height_n of_o his_o grace_n rather_o than_o the_o weakness_n of_o it_o for_o such_o be_v his_o extraordinary_a love_n to_o god_n that_o he_o never_o think_v he_o can_v have_v evidence_n enough_o of_o the_o divine_a presence_n and_o favour_n though_o that_o be_v mix_v with_o 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and_o hand_n and_o heart_n lift_v up_o to_o heaven_n he_o quiet_o depart_v this_o life_n and_o be_v at_o rest_n in_o the_o bosom_n of_o christ_n if_o i_o will_v pronounce_v a_o blessing_n on_o his_o family_n and_o survive_a relation_n upon_o his_o wife_n and_o child_n his_o friend_n and_o acquaintance_n that_o love_n and_o honour_v his_o memory_n i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o do_v it_o by_o a_o more_o profitable_a prayer_n than_o to_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o they_o may_v tread_v in_o his_o step_n and_o walk_v as_o he_o walk_v that_o his_o god_n may_v be_v their_o god_n that_o they_o may_v follow_v he_o as_o he_o be_v a_o follower_n of_o christ_n and_o so_o at_o last_o be_v more_o than_o conqueror_n over_o the_o world_n and_o sin_n and_o death_n and_o he_o that_o have_v the_o power_n
of_o it_o the_o devil_n thanks_o be_v to_o god_n who_o have_v give_v he_o and_o assure_v we_o of_o the_o victory_n through_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n to_o he_o be_v glory_n throughout_o all_o the_o church_n for_o ever_o amen_n the_o character_n and_o trial_n of_o a_o real_a christian_a now_o follow_v out_o of_o his_o own_o paper_n the_o manner_n of_o his_o examine_v his_o heart_n and_o life_n state_n and_o frame_n and_o the_o result_n thereof_o record_v and_o write_v for_o his_o support_n in_o after-difficulty_n some_o may_v be_v excite_v by_o it_o to_o a_o imitation_n and_o other_o find_v encouragement_n by_o what_o relieve_v he_o against_o his_o doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o enable_v he_o to_o persevere_v even_o without_o full_a assurance_n henry_n gearing_n though_o i_o have_v be_v under_o much_o hardness_n and_o deadness_n for_o many_o year_n yet_o i_o think_v good_a for_o my_o encouragement_n here_o to_o record_v god_n goodness_n to_o i_o sometime_o by_o look_v over_o my_o book_n in_o which_o i_o have_v write_v down_o in_o shorthand_n every_o night_n how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o in_o the_o day_n i_o find_v that_o i_o have_v sometime_o be_v quicken_v and_o affect_v in_o prayer_n often_o in_o family-prayer_n at_o night_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n though_o i_o begin_v very_o much_o indispose_v yet_o it_o please_v god_n to_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n in_o earnest_a desire_n and_o i_o have_v have_v some_o melt_n more_a than_o usual_a at_o other_o time_n in_o family-prayer_n at_o night_n i_o have_v be_v more_o than_o ordinary_o affect_v and_o sometime_o under_o the_o word_n preach_v once_o at_o the_o morning_n lecture_n when_o i_o hear_v a_o sermon_n of_o buy_v the_o pearl_n of_o price_n at_o other_o time_n i_o find_v i_o be_v affect_v great_o in_o family_n prayer_n so_o as_o scarce_o to_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v for_o weep_v at_o another_o time_n i_o have_v record_v how_o i_o be_v quicken_v by_o hear_v a_o sermon_n of_o mr._n swinnock_n on_o that_o text_n he_o 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psalm_n but_o for_o the_o most_o part_n i_o have_v be_v a_o great_a stranger_n to_o joy_n and_o comfort_n ever_o since_o the_o day_n of_o my_o youth_n these_o thing_n i_o write_v march_v 18._o 1689_o be_v remark_n in_o general_a of_o near_o twenty_o year_n past_a as_o to_o what_o i_o have_v write_v in_o this_o little_a book_n it_o be_v first_o in_o shorthand_n and_o never_o intend_v to_o be_v transcribe_v but_o afterward_o i_o consider_v that_o many_o thing_n in_o it_o may_v be_v of_o use_n to_o i_o by_o another_o read_n of_o it_o if_o it_o shall_v please_v god_n to_o lay_v his_o hand_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o myself_o read_v my_o shorthand_n and_o i_o know_v not_o but_o something_o in_o it_o may_v be_v useful_a to_o other_o i_o hope_v and_o pray_v it_o may_v be_v so_o unto_o many_o if_o the_o like_a serious_a spirit_n accompany_v every_o reader_n in_o the_o perusal_n of_o the_o follow_a paper_n as_o he_o have_v in_o write_v they_o beg_v it_o of_o god_n and_o then_o begin_v to_o read_v anno_fw-la 1676_o march_v 28._o have_v have_v in_o my_o thought_n sometime_o to_o keep_v a_o secret_a â—ast_n in_o my_o closet_n chief_o to_o search_v and_o try_v the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n this_o day_n i_o do_v it_o and_o hope_v i_o do_v set_v about_o it_o in_o the_o integrity_n of_o my_o heart_n my_o chief_a design_n be_v to_o examine_v how_o the_o case_n stand_v between_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n whether_o i_o have_v indeed_o a_o work_n of_o save_a grace_n wrought_v in_o i_o and_o that_o i_o may_v get_v corruption_n that_o be_v strong_a more_o mortify_v especial_o the_o sin_n i_o most_o incline_v unto_o and_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v from_o god_n to_o carry_v it_o better_o in_o my_o christian_a course_n both_o in_o my_o family_n and_o in_o secret_a retirement_n to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n after_o prayer_n that_o god_n will_v help_v i_o to_o try_v myself_o i_o go_v to_o the_o work_n of_o self-examination_n by_o the_o character_n that_o mr._n ambrose_n have_v give_v and_o by_o some_o character_n my_o cousin_n calamy_n lay_v down_o and_o other_o of_o mr._n allen_n mr._n nalion_n and_o mr._n swinnock_n i_o spend_v a_o good_a deal_n of_o time_n herein_o and_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o deal_v impartial_o with_o myself_o and_o do_v beg_v of_o god_n hearty_o that_o i_o may_v make_v a_o right_a judgement_n of_o myself_o i_o endeavour_v to_o keep_v my_o heart_n close_o to_o the_o work_n and_o though_o i_o can_v not_o meet_v with_o great_a comfort_n yet_o upon_o serious_a search_n i_o can_v find_v but_o that_o god_n have_v wrought_v true_a grace_n in_o i_o bless_a be_v his_o name_n i_o hope_v i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o this_o day_n while_o i_o live_v for_o support_n in_o any_o case_n i_o do_v also_o read_v over_o the_o covenant_n i_o enter_v into_o with_o the_o lord_n about_o nine_o year_n since_o and_o renew_v my_o covenant_n and_o give_v up_o myself_o afresh_o to_o the_o lord_n and_o take_v he_o for_o my_o god_n and_o portion_n i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n that_o i_o be_v sincere_a and_o upright_a i_o find_v some_o ease_n and_o quiet_v in_o my_o mind_n afterward_o o_o that_o i_o may_v not_o now_o grow_v careless_a but_o live_v answerable_o and_o remember_v i_o have_v renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o the_o lord_n and_o if_o he_o have_v in_o any_o wise_a speak_v peace_n to_o my_o soul_n let_v i_o not_o again_o return_v to_o folly_n for_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n sake_n an._n 1676_o july_n 27._o look_v over_o my_o book_n where_o i_o enter_v at_o night_n how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o every_o day_n i_o find_v i_o have_v be_v out_o of_o order_n many_o time_n in_o duty_n since_o the_o trial_n of_o myself_o mention_v here_o but_o hope_v i_o do_v desire_v to_o have_v my_o heart_n with_o god_n and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v sometime_o in_o duty_n to_o draw_v out_o my_o soul_n in_o earnest_n and_o hearty_a desire_n after_o he_o my_o heart_n through_o mercy_n have_v be_v sometime_o though_o too_o seldom_o in_o a_o good_a frame_n the_o lord_n have_v mercy_n on_o i_o and_o grant_v i_o may_v be_v sincere_a and_o upright_a with_o he_o he_o be_v please_v still_o as_o for_o many_o year_n past_a to_o withdraw_v from_o i_o and_o i_o do_v not_o meet_v with_o much_o comfort_n in_o his_o ordinance_n but_o i_o remember_v what_o mr._n n._n use_v to_o say_v that_o grace_n be_v better_a than_o comfort_n god_n grant_v that_o i_o may_v make_v sure_a of_o grace_n and_o act_n and_o exercise_v grace_n and_o wait_v upon_o he_o for_o comfort_n it_o be_v worth_a wait_a for_o all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o though_o i_o sit_v in_o darkness_n and_o see_v no_o light_n to_o trust_v in_o the_o lord_n and_o stay_v myself_o on_o my_o god_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o keep_v up_o faith_n and_o hope_n in_o he_o through_o christ_n to_o wait_v and_o trust_v and_o hope_v and_o believe_v still_o against_o hope_n of_o sense_n to_o believe_v in_o hope_n of_o a_o promise_n the_o lord_n make_v i_o careful_a to_o mind_v his_o glory_n and_o do_v my_o duty_n in_o the_o place_n in_o which_o he_o have_v set_v i_o for_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o be_v trouble_v lest_o i_o shall_v fail_v of_o my_o duty_n towards_o those_o commit_v to_o my_o charge_n the_o lord_n in_o mercy_n grant_v i_o may_v set_v to_o his_o work_n with_o all_o my_o may_v and_o get_v my_o work_n do_v before_o my_o day_n of_o life_n be_v end_v and_o that_o my_o heart_n may_v be_v thorough_o take_v off_o from_o this_o world_n and_o i_o may_v prepare_v for_o public_a calamity_n which_o be_v much_o fear_v by_o reason_n of_o the_o