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A67813 Sidrophel vapulans, or, The quack-astrologer toss'd in a blanket by the author of Medicaster medicatus ; in an epistle to W---m S---n [i.e. William Salmon] ; with a postscript, reflecting briefly on his late scurilous libel against the Royal College of Physicians, entituled, A rebuke to the authors of the blue book, by the same hand. Yonge, James, 1647-1721. 1699 (1699) Wing Y42A; ESTC R32944 55,470 76

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D. 1464. Arnoldus That Antichrist would appear 1345. and that A. D. 1174. the Arabian Jewish and Christian Astrologers all agreed that the utmost Desolation of the World by Tempest would happen A. D. 1186. How false these Predictions were time hath shewn the World Sextus ab Heminga collected thirty Eminent Nativities Calculated by the best Rules of this lying Art and they proved all false by Experience sad Events happening to those on whom the Heavens by the Rules of Astrology smiled and happiness to such as they frowned upon Cardan and Gaurichius both Calculated the Nativity of Hen. 2. who was slain in his fortieth Year Causin Holy Court p. 360. by a Splinter of Mongomery's Launce though one of them said He should live to an happy old age and the other that if he survived the great Climaterick Year he should live gloriously to 70. Both did the like with Luther and were both alike mistaken Cardan who as Gassendus saith was a Man of the best Wit Brains and Learning of any Astrologer spent an hundred hours on the Birth of our Edward 6th and after all that Industry was scandalously mistaken in his Fate Gassend p 748. lib. 1 de quad c. 2. Sect. 13. for He died in his 16th Year who by the Astrologer's Calculation should not be sick till his 25th and after that die of a Flux and a Fever Si vis divinare contrarium ei ad unguem dicito quod Astrologi aut pollicentur aut minitantur was the saying of Martianus not only commended but verified by Cardan Who after all his Skill confest that scarce one of their Predictions in forty proved true Lib. de Judic cap. 6. D● More Myst p. 356. So that the best of them can't forbear owning themselves no Wizards they all seem Infatuated and more under the Power of Witchcraft than above it J. R. Camerarius was as much out in his Judgment upon the Nativity of Henry 4th and Gassendus relates how much Nostradamus was mistaken in his Genethliacs on the Scheme of Suffredus his Nativity For to him all things happened quite contrary to the Lying Predictions of that famous Astrologer Now if such Masters in the Art had not Skill enough to avoid such gross Mistakes What can be expected from such half witted Astrologers as Merlinus Liberatus and Sidrophel who every Year expose themselves to this Censure And as for Friend John the humble Servant of Vrania all the many Calculations in his Collect. Genet are accused of Falshood by his Brother Partridge Opus Reformatum 7. Their not foreseeing the most remarkable Events sufficiently shows the Vanity of their Art and their own Ignorance This is manifest in the great Accidents of the last Thirty Years the Reslauration of King Charles II. the Plague and Fire of London the treble War 1666. Oates 's Plot the great Snow 1681. and the Frost 1683. the Death of King Charles and the Fate of his Brother the Stupendous Revolution 1688. the Death of Pope Innocent XI the Dukes of Newburgh and Lorrain who were the grand Pillars of the Confederacy and died in one Year the great and Marvellous turn of Affairs in Austria Hungaria and the Morea the many terrible Earthquakes in Jamaica Sicilia Naples Flanders and London and the Death of Queen Mary were things our Astrologers foreknew no more than Lilly could Divine who shit at his Door Think you that Sidrophel so cunning a Conjurer as he would be thought if he had foreseen the time of that great Ladies Death would have placed Lawrels on her Brow and told her of their being always green but the Year before they withered Against this Reflection I know but one Instance they have to object and that is the Hints Mene-Tekel gave of King James's Death a little before the Abdication Suppose but not granting that to be true too it doth not follow because once in an Age among a thousand false Prophecies one is fulfilled that they are true Prophets more than that the Devil is not a Lyer because he once spake truth The veracity of them both is the same in despight of a single Instance each have to the contrary One Swallow doth not make a Summer When Astrologers like the Father of Lyes commonly fail and err in their Predictions it 's to be supposed that Chance or some other Intelligence not the Stars put them so rarely into the right Children and Fools speak truth saith the Proverb And the Scriptures tell us that the Devil himself by the Miraculous Power of Christ had such a force put upon his Nature as to do it once when he acknowledged our Saviour to be the Son of God Astrologers may therefore be allowed to resemble them in this as they do in all things else though like common Lyers they are not to be believed till their Truth becomes apparent by experience and that God wot will be but seldom If it be a good Argument to prove the Truth of Astrology that some Predictions have been verified by the same sort of Logick it 's to be proved false because their Divinations are oftener so than otherwise as is confessed by Cardan and proved by Picus Heminga Gassendus Chambers and many others Mene-Tekel not only got the Author a great Name but patcht up the decayed Credit of Astrology among the Populace because they could not see the Spirit by which he Divin'd But wiser Men knew he Predicted by Intelligence with the Contrivers not the Planets The Stars that presignified it to him dwelt on Earth not in the Twelve Houses of Heaven And they perhaps did not err who lookt on the whole thing as a Political Device to dispose the Minds of People to that great Change We all know that he fail'd in the Death of King James the Employment of his Gallows and many other particulars And he that knew the great and universal discontent in the Nation at the Management of Affairs under that unfortunate Prince and how many were engaged to dethrone him might without Astrology foresee as much as he I know a Great Man who although no Conjurer told me as much and as soon as Mene-Tekel did of that business The Laplanders may easily foretel a Storm they are about to raise and he that is the Instrument of Mischief is best able to Predict the consequence of his Design Like those Skilful Poysoners Naturalists * Theophr Hist Plant. l. 9 c. 6. Boyl Nat. Phil. p. 264. Medela Medie p. 103. Ramsey of Poyson p. 10. and Travellers tell us of who contrive the fatal Dose so that the Victim shall not die in many Years after taking it and then not miss an hour Such a Pandora may easily turn Astrologer as well as Poysoner and foretel the time of the Patient's Exit more certainly than any Genethliac by the Nativity We are told that the Indians have and Caesar Borgia had this pernicious Skill and it 's suspected that there were in England some who without Astrology
knew many days before King Charles was sick when he should die By the same way Dr. Bates Cromwell's Physician became a truer Prophet than Thomas Goodwin his Chaplain the Dose the one gave being too hard for the Prayers the other made for that Vsurper Though they were alike confident the one of his Death the other of his Recovery yet the former went on the surest grounds as appeared in the Event Thuanus Scaliger and Gassendus say that Cardan lost his Life to save his Credit for having Predicted the time of his own Death he starved himself to verifie it Magastrom p. 173. Dr. More Myst p. 358. or else being sure of his Art He took that to be his fatal day and by those apprehensions made it so And I do not want a learned Author to back my belief that great men have untimely died by some Artifice of the Astrologers for the same reason Domitian having Decreed to banish all the Astrologers they conspired his Death and one of them Ascletarion Sueton. lib. 12. Sect. 15. told him when it should be The time appointed happening while Apollonius Tyanaeus was Disputing in the Schools at Ephesus he suddenly stopt and cryed out well done Stephanus Kill the Tyrant And then told the Audience that the Emperor was wounded This contributed highly to the Fame of that Impostor although it prov'd him such no more than the Duke of Braganza or one of the Priests who contrived and managed the Revolt of Portugal if they had foretold it A Son of Nostradamus told the Men of Friuli that he was sent by his Father to premonish them of the ruin of their City by Fire such a Night They believing the Oracle and watching narrowly to prevent the Conflagration found him and his Accomplices scattering Fire-Balls in divers parts of the Town Pope Hildebrand was one who Studied and Practised this Art and yet had so little Skill or Confidence in it that he hired several Ruffians to Murther the Emperor Hen. 4. at the time he Predicted his Death Acts and Mon. Vol. 1. p. 199. Vol. 2. p. 170. This we are told by Cardinal Beno of his own Religion Beside Fox and others of ours Ollerius Barcinonensis foretold the Assassination of Hen. 4. of France by Ravaillac from a secret Intimation of the Design known to some Grandees of Spain and others of the Court of Rome who were no Astrologers The Author of the Turkish Spy tells us that Fr. Corvinus the famous Italian Astrologer the Night before that Murther said on the top of his House in Florence That to morrow the greatest King in Europe would be kill'd But says the Intelligence he had was from Earth not Heaven or the Stars And Merlinus Liberatus will not allow his Friend John to have any other foresight of the Prince of Wales his Birth than by the Transactors of that Mysterious Affair that is by the same way and means himself knew what he Published in his Mene-Tekel For without the help of Satan or the Stars any one may Predict Events if they are in the Contrivance or have Intelligence with those that are so 8. Their Ignorance of their own Affairs Misfortunes and Fates before they happen proves them unable to foretell that of other Men. Astrologers saith Agrippa while they gaze on the Stars for direction c. fall into Ditches Wells and Gaols and like Thales become the Sport and Derision of silly Women and Slaves Astra tibi Aethereo pandunt sese omnia Vati Omnibus quae sunt fata futura monent Omnibus ast Vxor quòd se tua publicat id te Astra licet videant omnia nulla monent was an Epigram made by Sir Tho. More R. Castro Med. Polit. l. 2. c. 2. and I fancy our witty Hudibras was as sharp upon Sidrophel and Wachum in English as the other was in Latin Quoth Hudibras the Stars determin You are my Prisoners base Vermin Could they not tell you that as well As what I came to know foretel By this what Cheats you are we find Who in your own Concerns are blind The Learned Mr. Purchas tells us that the Death of Hagag a Sarazen King Pilgrim p. 226. was foretold by an Astrologer who did not foresee his own for as soon as he made his Prognostick of the King his own Head was struck off Sir John Chardin in the History of his Persian Voyage Page 40. 131. 132. Appen 25. tells us That Astrologers are in very great esteem among that People And that they alway crown their Kings in the minute they direct And if after that the King be unhappy he is crowned again on a new chosen time Causin Holy Court as Solyman the Third was so crowned while he was in that Country But the Astrologers often mistake and are as often put to Death King Hen. 7. understanding that an Astrologer had foretold the punctual time of his Death sent for him and enquired where he the Conjurer should keep his next Christmas He answered that he knew not Then quoth the King I do without Astrology tell you it shall be in Gaol And thither he sent and kept him long enough to see by Experience that the King was a truer Prognosticator than himself J. Galeazus Duke of Milan treated another Impudent Astrologer with more severity for having Predicted that he should long survive that Prince he Ordered the Wretch to be immediately hanged Such another Story is in the Anthologia of Diophantes the great Astrologer Gassend done in Verse Gaurichius did not foresee by the Stars that he was to suffer on the Rack nor Cardan that his Son was to be hanged for Poysoning his Wife I was personally acquainted with Dr. W. Ramsey who publickly boasted of Skill enough in Astrology to foreknow a Mans Fate particularly whether he were born to die rich Chr. Astrology cap. 6. Sect. 6 be fortunate in Marriage c. and depended so much on it as to assure himself of great Wealth and happy Nuptials who yet died poor in a Gaol after he had Marry'd such a Wife as provoked him to write that Satyr against Matrimony called Conjugium Conjurgium That Beelzebub of Astrologers W. Lilly was wholly Ignorant of the Restauration when he wrote those Trayterous Libels which forfeited his Neck to the Gallows Friend John was so certain that Popery would prevail Opus Reform p. 85. and eradicate the Northern Heresy and so Ignorant of the late Revolution that he not only persuaded a Gentleman to turn Papist for these Reasons but embarkt himself in that Interest and thereby drew such a Storm on his Head as he would have avoided if his Art had given him the least Prospect of the right way or had not led him into the wrong Would Sidrophel think you have undergone the hazard and trouble of a Voyage to America to repair a broken Fortune if the Stars had let him see that he should have returned no wiser nor