evil thought The evil thought is the Devils Dam that the Succubus the Devil the Incubus It is the bed in which Satan lodgeth in which his brats are conceived and born The hot Sand in which this Ostridge layes and leaves his eggs which will hatch and bring forth of themselves Every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust and enticed then when lust hath conceived it bringeth forth sin and sin when perfected bringeth forth death Jam. 1. 13. The evil thought is the Prima mater or materia Prima the first mother or matter of all sin capable of every form of evil It is the little end of the wedge which entring makes way for the great to follow The little Boy which let in at the window sets the doores wide open for all the greater Theeves to enter and carry all away The Devil is more modest or too much a serpent to say at first Curse God and dy Blaspheme cast thy selfe down headlong give me thy soule commit adultery and give thy self over to all uncleanness with Greedinesse he hath learnt a better and surer way he useth Art method Stratagems And as Pompey when he had in vain assaulted a City and could not take it by force devised this Stratagem In way of agreement he told them he would leave the siege and make peace with them onely desired he might leave a few weak and sick souldiers among them to be cured They let in when the City was secure let in Pompey's army So Satan desires but a look or a wanton thought at first he needes no more All the sin that is in the world had his rise from a thought all Jeroboams sin who did evil and made Israel to sin began here Jeroboam said in his heart If the 1 King 12. 26 people go up to Jerusalem to worship c. then shall the Kingdome return from me to the house of David c. all Judas his sin began in a thought yea Adams first sin and Eves began in a thought Satans temptation begat a thought that a look that a liking that a lusting that a tasting that enticing her husband that fellowship in sin that running from God that denying or defending the fact thence a floud of Belial and wickednesse which hath drowned the whole world a floud before the floud a floud more dreadfull and general then Noah's floud was that drowned bodyes this soules There eight escaped here not one That lasted about thirteen moneths then dryed up This continues to this day in its height Even from Adams fall to this day every Imagination of man is evil and onely evil continually Gen. 6. 5. And which is saddest of all This floud had its head in Paradise and from thence is divided into severall streames compassing the whole earth What is unbeliefe made up of but a heap of doubting and distrustfull thoughts What is Atheism but vile impious thoughts condensed What is malice but mischievous thoughts boyled up to a consistence The whole earth was once well watered by a little cloud no bigger then the palm of a mans hand The main Sea is made up of Rivers they of lesse springs they of many single drops multiplyed and those drops bred of a thin vapour which you would think had nothing in it So that a thin vapor is great grand mother to the Ocean and a thin slender thought to the greatest sin Cogitatio prava delectationem parit delectatio consensum consensus actionem actio cousuetudinem consuetudo necessitatem necessitas mortem An evil thought saith Bernard begets delight delight consent consent action an act a custome custome a necessity necessity destruction Reas 2. But though the evil thought be the original of sin yet it stayes not there but soon proceedeth to more ungodlinesse and frets like a Gangrene How great an Ilias malorum or volume of evils may be contained in a Nutshell Behold how great a matter a little fire consumeth From this one son of the Bond-woman proceed twelve Princes of darknesse Mar. 7. 21. After the evil thought follow adulteryes fornications murders thefts covetousnesse wickednesse deceit lasciviousnesse an evil eye Blasphemy pride foolishnesse One fly-blow taints the whole flesh The Leprosie taking a thread overspreads the whole piece of cloth warp and woofe or taking a stone overruns all the wall and fabrick of the house The waters of the sanctuary Ezek. 47. 3 4. rise not so fast as the flouds of ungodlinesse from the ancles at first to the knees then to the loynes then to the neck then over head and eares You may observe how Rom. 1. 21. vain Imaginations leade to uncleannesse v. 24. Uncleannesse to Vile affections v. 26. Vile affections soon grow up to a reprobate sense and then it follows they were filled with all unrighteousnesse v. 29 30 c. where a bead roll of above twenty sins comes trayling after And Eph. 4. 18 19. you may observe with what speed and increase this evil weed growes The thin vapor presently became a drop The drop made the spring the spring a River the River a Sea This I say that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles in the vanity of their mindes having the understanding darkned being alienated from the life of God through the Ignorance that is in them because of the blindnesse of their hearts who being past feeling have given themselves over to lasciviousnesse to work all uncleannesse with greedinesse Here is first the seed then the root then the blade then the ear then the full corn in the ear then there wants nothing but a sickle to cut down all and a fire to burn it Observe here the linkes of the chaines of darknesse the gradation of sin and the descent into Hell The first head of the lake of Hell is vanity of mind that overflowes the whole understanding and darkens it then followes alienation of affection then blindnesse or hardnesse of heart that begets Insensiblenesse unsensiblenesse of sin begets desperatenesse and unsensiblenesse of danger desperatenesse begets Impudence Impudence delight delight Insatiablenesse and thus thrusts into the midst of Hell and fixeth a gulf that there is no coming back See how much mischief ariseth from an evil thought It was a strange assertion of the Philosopher that the world was made up of Atoms but I may safely say the whole world of sin in our hearts and lives is made up of these Atoms of evil thoughts united Out of nine single figures the greatest numbers in Arithmetick are made up And out of four and twenty letters all the words and languages in the world are made so of a few evil thoughts all evil actions So that all sin may be said to be virtualiter vitialiter potius virtually or rather vitially in the evil thought comprehended and contained Reas 3. It is by the ill thought onely that the heart is defiled Mat. 15. 19. out of the heart proceed evil thoughts saith our Saviour and these
much delight in casting off and then tormenting his creatures And if our sins be thus upon us we must needs die and how shall we then live they do object And the Lord to stop their mouthes and for ever to silence such destructive thoughts answers immediately and binds it with an oath As I live saith the Ezek. 33. 10 11. Lord I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked but that the wicked turn from his way and live Turn you from your evil wayes for why will ye die O house of Israel Who is then to be believed He that saith to man offending sin and live and to man repenting repent and die as Satan ever doth or He that saith to every sinner sin and die repent and live believe and be justified look to me and be saved 2. Neither are the godly often to be excused who as they have low thoughts of themselves so have too low and hard thoughts of God and hence they walk so sadly when these thoughts be entertained They have ever high thoughts of God for his Power truth holinesse faithfullnesse and loving-kindnesse yet misdoubt his mercy at Psal 77. and 88. least to them they complain sometimes as if God had forgotten himself cast off them and that he hath shut up his mercies in displeasure many such sad and mournfull complaints of the men of God are recorded in Scripture And the Lord often takes much paines to satisfie and remove these stumbling-blocks Esa 40. 27 28. Why saiest thou O Jacob and speakest oh Israel my way is hid from the Lord and my judgement passed over from my God c. And Esa 49. 14 15. But Sion said the Lord hath forsaken me and my God forgotten me Can a woman forget her sucking child that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb Yea they may forget yet will not I forget thee CHAP. XIV Of Despairing Thoughts BUT Thoughts of Despair which often follow on those hard Thoughts before spoken of and do therefore fitly follow the handling of them are of all sads the saddest and it may be said of them more truly then the Philosopher said of Death of all Terribles the most Terrible more dreadfull then 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 death it self yea as black as hell from which they are but one remove distant Despair is the saddest Disease and Torment incident to the soul of man living or dead To the living it is the upper region of hell and the suburbs of it to the which no darknesse or shadow of death is to be compared no nor in his own thoughts hell flames torment not more And to the dead it is their nethermost hell the sting of the second death and the victory and triumph of hell A most wofull and sinfull condition wherein two seas meet as once to shipwrack Paul 1. The pain Act. 27. 41. of losse the greatest losse Gods favour and the comfort of it 2. And the pain of sense the greatest sense of Gods wrath and the terrors of the Lord to shipwrack the distressed soul yea ordinarily the two seas of sin and misery meet together threatning the present and eternal ruine of such poor creatures to make their miserable condition above all measure miserable Yet can I not but say some such as these may seize on a godly soul whose life is hid with Christ in God and bound up in a bundle of eternall love and life even godly soules have been often at the very brink of despair The sorrows even of Psal 18. 4. 116. 3. hell have taken hold of them and flouds of Beliall have made them afraid The Accuser of the Brethren sometimes casteth out a flood Rev. 12. 10 15. of these out of his mouth to swallow them up alive as those that go into the pit aggravating Prov. 1. 12. to their awakened affrightned Consciences their sins to be unpardonable and Gods Justice as unappesable the Laws sentence of condemnation nation as irrevocable and the interposition of Christs death as unavailable Hence have they Jonah 2. 4. Psal â—8 4. 40. 12. Job 6. 3. Psal 42. 7. cryed out I am cast out of thy sight my sins are gone over my head my heart hath failed me my grief is heavier than the sand All thy waves and billows are gone over me And sometimes have cried out their sorrow was inexpressible Job 7. 15. Job 6. 4. Job 3. 1. their soules could choose strangling rather then life the terrors of God have set themselves in array against them made them a terror to themselves yea they have made bitter exclamations accursing themselves their states their birth and life yea have cried out as if they had been in the sulphurous lake and belly of Hell and that the pit had shut her mouth upon them And all this while more fear than danger the Lord may bring down to Hell and bring 1 Sam. 2. 6. up to Heaven The Lord will not cast off for ever but though he cause grief yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies Lam. 3. 31 32. Yea it is as impossible that a soul that hath the least seed of God in it and the least of Christ a sin-bewailing a Christ-thirsting soul should be held fast of the powers of Hell as it was for Christ Act. 2. 24. himself to be holden by them the Lord will not leave their souls in hell nor suffer the least of his Saints to inherit corruption The least of the New Creature and true Grace is too good to be cast away But this is ordinarily the case of flagicious and atrocious offenders who have often resisted the Spirit of God and rushed into sin as the horse into the battell who having first sinned away their Consciences and afterwards their hopes they find that which they least feared to have come upon them their sins have now found them out and are as so many devils staring Num. 32. 23. them in the face The just Judgement of God They who grieved the good Spirit of God and would none of his counsels have an evil Spirit from the Lord sent to terrifie 1 Sam. 16. 15. them as Saul had they are of God delivered up to Satan now they find their Judgment before slighted lingereth no more nor doth their damnation slumber but they look upon themselves as if God and Satan had agreed in their destruction to laugh at their calamity What words can expresse the misery of this condition They are like the raging sea saith the Prophet which cannot rest whose waters cast out mire and dirt They have all Esa 57. 20. Job 20. 26. darknesse hid in their secret place saith Zophar as if all Hel had exhausted it self and adjorned his residence thither Yea his heart meditates terror dreaming talking of and feeling nothing but devouring flames and everlasting burnings Their sight is gashly their speech amazing and the
1 Cor. 4. 5. his praise of God as the Apostle saith in the place forenamed Lastly Evil thoughts as they are the first seed of Satan and originall of sin as we said in our first reason so are they the last refuge and strong hold which Satan hath to retire unto when he is driven out of his out-works He first hires these Cellars and Vaults below when he intends the most horrid powder plot and when he doubts open assaults to foule actuall sins may be repulsed his last device and stratagem is to lay a privy Ambuscado in the Thoughts Therefore must all our batteries be made against these strong holds to cast down imaginations and to bring 2 Cor. 10. 4. into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ When we have with Joshua destroyed all the enemies that appear abroad we must at last destroy the Kings themselves and the very chief of them that were immured and shut up in caves After we have Josh 10. 22. escaped shipwrack as Paul by flying the pollutions of the world take heed this Viper fasten not on thee but cast it into the fire that thou be not destroyed by the Pollutions of the mind Our most dangerous conflict of all is not with flesh and bloud no nor with Principalities and powers the foulest and fiercest devils but with spirituall wickednesses Alwayes diseases of the mind are more dangerous then of the body and sins in the mind worse then carnall pollutions It is as poyson in the spring or in the heart that presently disperseth itself all over Who knows not that Error heresie atheisme unbelief hypocrisie are worse then carnall filthinesse Yet who considers it All the sins of Satan which are worse than mans are onely spirituall wickednesses not corporeall as flesh and bloud are not so dangerous as principalities and powers so bodily wickednesse in earthly things are not so bad as spirituall wickednesses in heavenly or higher things The one makes us like beasts indeed but the other like Devils Here look well about you Professors you have an enemy in your bosom a Dalilah in your bed Satan is secure you may go hear pray believe be baptized joyn with the godly in every duty and be as forward to see to as the best yet is he safe and you betrayed if he can fasten one evil Thought and get entertainment for a few sickly Souldiers as Pompeys Stratagem was none of the most desperate and violent yea give him but one he desires no more Possession in Law is kept as well by one as twenty Look to it then I say The Thought is Satans reserve and last charge Keep him out here thou art a Victor yeeld here all is lost You Prophane ones your first and greatest work is to wash your hands Jam. 4. 8. but you Professors your first and last work is to purify your hearts The filthy Leprosie sluck closer to Gehazi then to Naaman so 2 King 5. 27 will pollution of mind stick more dangerously to a disciple if he take not heed then all prophanesse to an ignorant man that never yet knew better CHAP. IV. Of the severall kinds of Thoughts AND now I may say I am in a Wood or am entering into a wild field being about to speak of Thoughts or into a howling wildernesse being about to speak of Evil Thoughts I am not entring into Jonathans Wood dropping honey but into Absaloms which devoured more men then the 1 Sam. 14. 25. 2 Sam 18. 8. sword and I may not say as in our Proverb where I cannot see Wood for Trees but where for Wood Trees it is hard to see any way Thoughts some Divines rank into three sorts Though I shall reduce them to two as to our purpose and insist mainly on one kind onely even the worst of the three There are three kinds of thoughts saith Learned and Acute Dr. Ames conversant about Evil. 1. The first and most innocent whereof is Lib. 3. de Conscâ—ent â— 20. about the simple and bare apprehension of Evil. 2. The second is not so good when together with the apprehension of the mind there is also some inclination in the Will to consent 3. The third and worst is when deliberated upon it hath gained a full consent and approbation The first of these is without sin for it was found in Christ when being tempted Mat. 4. he fully and sufficiently apprehended the Evil motion propounded but detesled and abhorred it Hence it is a Maxime and resolved Case Scire malum non est malum barely to know evil is no evil When Solomon meditated and wrote of the wicked wiles of the subtile Harlot Prov. 7. 6 7. When he gave himself to the Theory to the studying and investigation of mischief and madnesse and folly Eccles 2. 12. he was not thereby defiled but instructed The Physitian looking on the disease is not thereby diseased nor the Minister when studying or discoursing of the foulest nature of the foulest sins and Satans monstrous methods and stratagems is nothing thereby defiled yet had we need deal warily and considerately as the Dogs at Nile least we should be snapt or as Ulysses amongst the Syrenes stopt his servants ears and bound himself to a Mast that he might not be inchanted by their Songs So should Ministers and students herein do as those who go by some ill and offensive savour they stop their noses or smell to some better sent to prevent the offensivenesse The other two kinds have both of them their part of sin in them and the later more Holy Bernard makes also these three kinds and resembleth the first to Dirt which besâ—otteth the body when dasht on it but makes no blunesse or skar when it is washed there is no sign of it The second he resembles to Blowes which cause bruises blacknesse wounds those make deformed and sick and cause pain but no death follows But the third sort of deliberate entertained thoughts he compares to a mortall Stab or deadly wound which neglected brings certain death So may a good Christian be touched with the first and troubled Pâ—ccati cogitatio decolorat affecÌ„tia vuluerat consensus omninâ— animam necat oss a frangit Idem with the second but let him take heed of the third that he be not heart-stabbed or have his bones broken with the last Let no man saith he be regardlesse of the two former for etsi non sint mortiferae sunt certe periculosae although they be not deadly yet are they dangerous But I shall as I said refer all ill Thoughts to two heads There are some which are transient unvoluntary undeliberate such are as the motes in the clearest sun-shine and not as congregated clouds causing any darknesse at all and are inseparable from our clearest day and purest state Ex toto caveri non possunt quamdiu in hoc corpore mortis peregrinamur a Domino It is impossible to be wholly free from them for
any that yet carries about a body of death with him saith the same Bernard And hence it was that holy Austine was wont to pray Educ me a necessitatibus meis Lord deliver me from my unavoidable sins My unavoidables are also inexcusables These kind of thoughts it is true lesten not our Justification in the least which is perfect and compleat notwithstanding them no nor do they spoil sanctification though they grieve the Saint Sanctification is neverthelesse true notwithstanding these the lesse perfect it is indeed and perfection who looks for here These moates are as inseparable from the mind as the shadow from the body and shew all is not yet so clear below our ayre not so pure and our earth when thick fogs ascend not yet a dust there is These are we to be humbled Daemonum est malas cogitationes suggerere nostrum est cas illico expellere Nam in animo nostro eas jacere nostrae deputatur culpae Voluntate sua cadit qui cadit voluntate Dci stat qui stat Bern. for yet not to despair because of them unlesse in thy self-sanctification who can say his heart is clean Prov. 20. 9. These we can no more help or hinder then we can the flying of a bird over our heads though we may hinder the birds resting on our head and building her nest there Josephs Brethren could not hinder the putting of the money into their sacks or the Cup into Benjamins when they had not the keeping of their sackes themselves but they could when they saw their sacks open disown disallow and dislike what they could not help These are like the weeds which the earth puts up of it self which the Gardiner never sowed nor willingly watered but when he finds them peep he is at them with his spade or hands to dig or pluck them up yet do they grow again they are his trouble and find him continuall work but they are not charged upon him as if he was altogether negligent or unskilfull These are like the Ship sailing in the sea which cuts the waves but leaves no impression like the Eagle in the air or the Arrow shot out of the Bow or like the Serpent on a Rock which slides away and leaves no mention of their abiding These are in scripture called by Misso ratiocinio recti quod dcus mandaverat ac indiderat infinita alia ratiocinia cogitâ—tiones studia suscepit Jun. in Eccl. 7. 29. severall Names 1. Motions Rom. 7. 2. Imaginations Gen. 6. 5. 3. Reasonings 2 Cor. 10. 4. 4. Wanderings or walkings of the soul Eccles 6. 9. 5. Inventions Eccles 7. 29. 2. There are also other Thoughts which are more â— deliberate and therefore far more dangerous Those were Gnats these Camels those Moats in the Eye these Beams those Atoms or Moates in the Air not hindering the Sun-shine these thick Clouds those Arrows Flying these Sticking fast in the But those a Ship Volant or Sailing these a Ship at Anchor those a Serpent on the Rock these a Serpent in a Rock or in his Den these as the Birds Roosting in our house those as Samson Judg. 15. 15. assaulted with the Philistines whom he discomfited these as Sampson asleep in Dalilahs Judg. 16. 19. lap if he sleep on he is undone In a word those are like the pulling off of Josephs Garment when his chastity was not touched he was accused troubled yet conscience pure These like Tamars Vail and harlots Gen. 38. 14. attire put on who purposely sat in the way ready to yield if not to entice her Father in Law These if not the worst of sins of which more hereafter yet we may safely say they are the sins of the worst who have deliberated plotted projected conceived travailed to be delivered of their sinfull conceptions Thus did Cain Lamech Pharaoh Amnon Absalom Jeroboam Ahab Judas Magus and those Grandees in iniquity come to be so transcendently impious and their sins and persons out of measure sinfull These shew more of the habit and temper of the soul and are described by other names and expressions as 1. Saying in the heart Psal 14. 1. 1 Kings 12. 26. 2. Minding and savouring things of the flesh Rom. 8. 5 6. 3. Searching of heart Judg. 5. 16. Psal 64. 6. 4. Devices Prov. 3. 29. Psal 36. 4. Prov. 6. 18. Isa 33. 7 8. Micah 2. 1. 5. Purposes Job 33. 17. As Esau purposed in his heart to kill Jacob Gen. 27. 42. Herod to kill Peter Acts 12. 6. Councels 1 Cor. 4. 5. Psal 33. 10. 11. 7. Plottings Psal 37. 12. So this word in the Text spoken of Magus 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 signifies 8. Travelling with sin Psal 7. 14. 9. Studying Prov. 24. 2. 10. That which is set upon the heart or spirit Ezek. 20. 32. Quod ascendit super spiritum vestrum Arias Mont. That which cometh into your mind 11. Reckoning of sin afore hand I will pursue I will overtake I will divide the spoile Exod. 15. 9. Nothing but I will I will 12. Fixed resolutions for time to come Eccl. 8. 11. The heartfully set to do evil 13. Delight in sin if they can come at it to commit it Prov. 2. 14. and 4. 17. 14. Greediness after sin to be committed Ephes 4. 18. Lastly Greevedness of mind if disappointed of their sinfull desires Prov. 4. 16. Their sleep is taken away that night when they could do no mischief by day These are Scala inferni the Devils ladder whereby sin is raised to the highest elevation of these and such as these are we to speak Yet I do not promise to speak of every particular Thought that were more then I could make good or any other whatsoever It were an easier task to write of the whole habitable world or of all the severall Creatures in the Universe then to speak of every kind of thought those may be numbered these cannot Man hath sought out so many inventions CHAP. V. Ot the severall kinds of Deliberate Thoughts BUT here beloved before I begin I must forewarn you not to expect any pleasant sight I am not about to raise up a Samuel but a more horrid Ghost and if you come but to gaze and behold I may say to you as our Saviour concerning John What went ye out into the wildernesse to see A reed shaken with the wind such is the thought but would it were no worse But what come ye out to see a man clothed in soft raiment or come ye to see a Prophet no but a man clothed with filthy raiment as Josua was and no prophet neither but an impostor Yea I may say as David to Saul What are we come into this wildernesse to look after a 1 Sam. 24. 14. and 26. 20. Dead dog or stinking carrion yea that we are and worse for its noisomenesse or a flea or Partridge for their mobility and nimblenesse Yea I shall dig through the wall and represent you with the ugliest sight of
remembrance of them will not easily out of the mind of the sad beholders Who can read or mention Spira's and such like cases without horror A sad case I confesse and not easily admitting remedy Yet let me say This case of despair is not altogether without hope if at any time they repent they may be recovered out of the snares and power of the Devil though taken captives by him at his will if he fly to Christ he is able to save to the utmost Beleeve it there is not so much malignity in all the sin of the world or malice in Satan as there is mercy in God and merit in Jesus Christ unlesse we shall say finite is more then Infinite and the creature stronger then the Creator Adde not therefore finall impenitency to all former Impiety and obdurate unbeliefe to former disobedience and desparation to thy long presumption and thou maiest yet be safe For first It is said Hâ—b 7. 25. Christ is able to save to the utmost all that come to God by him therefore there is no doubting of his power Save to the utmost not to such or such a degree no further but further and further than ever thou hast sinned Many men have often sinned to their utmost doing evill with both hands as they could But Christ never yet shewed mercy or saved to his utmost but he is able to out-doe all that we have done or can aske yea to out-doe all that himself hath done pardoning yet greater sins to penitents then ever yet were pardoned if greater could be committed Then secondly consider Ezek. 18. 23. and 33. 11. further that thou mightest not make question of his will he hath said I desire not the death of a sinner Him that cometh to Joh. 6. 37. me I will in no wise cast out There is you see power and will both engaged to save thee So that it is not his will-not but thy will not hinders thy salvation Why will ye dye saith he I would ye would not nor is it Gods Ezek. 18. 31. Mat. 23. 37. shall not but thy care not excludes thee heaven Thirdly if thou shalt say I have committed the sin against the Holy Ghost therefore there is no mercy for me I answer what ever that sin be it is not that sin shall be unpardoned if thou dost repent for the greatnesse of that sin doth not exceed the vertue of Christs bloud no nor the sin of Devils neither I would not feare to say Christs bloud was a sufficient price to ransome them if God had so intended but it was never his intention so to do because he took not the nature of Angels but the seed of the woman I say therefore hadst thou Heb. 2. 16. sinned that sin against the Holy Ghost yet mercy might be had upon repentance But it is therefore concluded to be unpardonable because they that go into that return not again they are never renewed by repentance as the Apostle speakes But dost Peccatum in Spiritum Sanctum non potest accidere sitientibus justitiam Christi Dickson Ther. sacr l. 2. c. 4. thou mourn grieve complain weep lament and say thou hast sinned that sin against the Holy Ghost that cannot be Fourthly But if thou shalt yet persist in thy willfull rejecting the mercy and putting away the Kingdome of God from thee with that foule cavill and blackest objection in all the Bible Oh but I am a reprobate and Ezek. 33. 10. if our transgressions and sins be upon us and we pine away in them how can we then live say they And Job once If I be wicked why labour I in Job 9. 29. vaine q. d. I may as well sit still all endeavors are in vain I answer 1. God hath no where declared of this that or any man that he is a reprobate no man can say it of himself no Reprobationis indicium nullum certum dedit Deus praeter peccatum in Spiritum S. quod non potest accidere sitientibus justitiam Christi finalem impenitentiam quae compleri non potest nisi in ipsa morte Idem ibid. Ezek. 33. 11. man may say it of another nor doth Satan or any Angel know who is a reprobate Election may at length come to be known and thence assurance but reprobation never So long as there is life there is hope for though he that is in state of grace to day shall be to morrow yet you cannot say he that is in state of wrath to day shall be to morrow Who can tell how long and how far one may go in a way of sin ere he come to be past grace never to return 2. Doth not the Lord say As I live I desire not the death of a sinner Turn and live repent sin shall not be your ruine It is not Gods eternal decree of reprobation therefore doth make thee uncapable of salvation but they own willfull sin and persisting in it cast away thy sin thou shall never be a castaway Thy sin is the bar not Gods Ezek. 18. 31. 1 Sam. 15. 23. decree None are rejected by God but such as with Saul have first rejected the word of the Lord. In a word it is thy election and love of sin that thou hast more cause to feare then Gods reprobation and hatred of thee 3. I say consider of it doth not the Lord Act. 17. 30. 2 Pet. 3. 9. 1 Jo 5. 10. call all men every where to repent And say he is not willing any should perish but all come to repent and wiâ—t thou exclude thy selfe and make God a liar setting his secret decree against his revealed will He hath commanded the Gospel to be preached to every creature Mar. 16. 15. 16. and said he that beleeveth shall be saved he that beleeveth not shall be damned And therefore as I would not fear to say to an elect as to Solomon if thou forsake the 1 Chron. 28. 9. Gen. 4. 7. Lord he will cast thee off for ever so to a Cain if thou do well or repent of evil shalt thou not be accepted As the most righteous hath no cause to hope notwithstanding his election if he repent of his repentance and turn from his righteousnesse so the Ezâ—k 18. 24. and 27. compared unbeliever and unrighteous notwithstanding any decree of reprobation feared hath no cause to despair if he break off his sin 4. I say the pit hath not yet shut her mouth upon thee nor is the gulph fixed There is a possibility of salvation to any yet living while there is life there is hope out of the Hell of despair there is redemption though out of the despair of Hell there is no redemption Hell is not so easily born as thou conceivest how glad would they be in Hell if there were now so much as any possibility Despise not the last offer of grace If thou canst beleeve all things are Mar. 9. 23. possible to him that
beleeveth there is a possibility that thou maiest beleeve though yet thou dost not or canst not Say I cannot beleeve if thou wilt Say not with Thomas I shall noâ— I will not beleeve yet didst thou so Jo. 20. 25. conclude thou mightest after come to cry out with highest rejoycings of assurance with him My Lord and my God Nay if Jo. 20. 28. thou art come to that to say there is no possibility in thee to be saved Are our impossibles impossible with God Our Saviour speaking of the difficulty of the salvation of some resolves and staies it upon Gods omnipotency With man this is impossible but with Mar. 10. 27. God all things are possible Hang therefore upon possibility to beget desires and on these desires till thou gettest hope on hope above or against hope till thou come to faith on faith till thou come to assurance Say I will look up to his holy temple I will Jonah 2. 4. look up to the mercy-seat and if I perish I will not perish with my hands in my bosome but I will repent mourn pray and when I have done my part the Lord do with me what he will I have read of one in despair whom Satan perswaded in was in vain to pray or serve God for he must certainly go to Hell who yet went to prayer and begged of God that if he must go to Hell when he died yet he would please to give him leave to serve him while he lived upon which his terrors vanished being clearly convinced none could pray that prayer that had sinned the sin against the Holy Ghost 5. Let me say to thee as Tamar to Amnon in another case This later evil in turning 2 Sam. 13. 16. mercy out of doors is worse then the former in abusing it and forcing it to serve thy lusts Both are nought this worse The sin of Cain despairing was worse then the killing his brother there he wronged Justice here mercy thereby he violated the law hereby he disparaged the Gospel thereby he set light by the bloud of his brother hereby of the bloud of a Saviour which crieth louder for better things then the bloud of Abel for vengeance we say the like of Judas despair Heb. 12. 24. it was a greater sin then the betraying of his Master Lastly If thou must have examples to encourage thee who sayest none was ever such a one as my self and pardoned consider what is written in Scripture Manasses was a man given over to all wickednesse an Idelater 2 Chron. 33. 3 4 5 6 7. Corrupter of Gods worship a man of bloud a consulter with familiar spirits the greatest contemner of the Prophets and commands of God that could be yet found mercy when he was humbled And Paul who had been before a persecutor and a blasphemer and injurious in the highest degree 1 Tim. 1. 13 14 15. to make him the greatest of sinners yet found mercy We could instance in some others of our own knowledge having many gracious experiences of that truth Where sin hath abounded grace hath more then abounded super abounded And where sin hath reigned as a tyrant Ro. 5. 20. 21. unto death and condemnation grace hath reigned as a gracious King unto eternall life in acts of pardon and mercy through Jesus Christ But I shall content my selfe to give thee one as sad an example as you shall ordinarily meet with out of Aretius a Godly and eminent Author speaking of the sin against the Holy Ghost I saw saith he and knew the man my self and it is no fained story There was saith he a Merchant at Strasbourgh whose whole lâ—fe was abominable for whordome Usury drunkennesse contempt of Gods word he spent his lfe in gaming and whoring to his old age at Aret. in Mat. 12. 32. last he came to reflect on himself and be sensible of the dreadfull judgments of God hanging over his head Then did his conscience so affright and the Devil accuse and terrifie him that he fell into open and down right desperation he confessed and yeelded himselfe to the Devil as being his he said the mercy and grace of God could not be so great as to pardon sins so great as his Then what horrour was upon him gnashing of death weeping wayling yea he would challenge Satan and wish the Devill would fetch him away to his destined torments he threw himselfe all along upon the ground refused both meat and drink had you seen him you could never have forgot him whâ—le you had lived you had seen the fullest pattern of a despairing person Yet saith after the many paines of Godly and learned men who came to him watched with him reasoned with him laid open the word and will of God and after many prayers publick and private put up for him at length he recovered and became truly penitent and having lived piously for certain years after he died peaceably Wherefore he concludeth it is not an easy matter to determine of any man sinning against the Holy Ghost and uncapeâ—ble of mercy so long as he yet liveâ— CHAP. XV. Of presumptuous thoughts BUT of the thoughts of presumption the world is more full It is that which first digged and opened the Pit of Hell now keepes it open at length will fill it up brim full This is Satans standard-bearer And of this we may safely say It was the first sin in the world The Original sin of the lapsing Angels who not content with their allotted station in so high glory thought it no robbery to be equal with God and having entertained such a presumptuous thought of a Dii erimus they aspired after it and were thrown into Hell with it so that their place is no more found in heaven nor any place for presumption there since But this their originall sin they soon propagated to mankind soon after falling Satan in the likenesse of a subtle serpent buzzing in their heads a Dii eritis ye shall be as Gods they Gen. 3. 5. neither regarding precept or threat to the contrary were soon tainted with it and were justly for their presumption cast out of Paradise But though it could find no place in Heaven or Paradise it hath overspread the whole world And this Dii eritis as one saith will never die but in every presumptuous sin or attempt or rising of heart there is a spice of it Dii sumus or Dii erimus we will be as Gods and as for the Lord every presumptuous sinner saith in his heart I know him not Ex. 5 3. Psal 12. 〈◊〉 Who shall be Lord over us And being bred in the flesh it will never be out of the bone as we say every one more or lesse tainted with it And there are presumptuous thoughts of two kinds we are subject unto Carnall and spirituall presumption 1. Carnall all are subject unto hence if we have an arm of flesh to trust in how apt Jer. 17. 5. are
places of the forrest Is there no way to exalt Gods Mercy but by destroying his justice purity truth and holinesse And is there no other Faith with thee but what destroies fear obedience repentance and conscientiousnesse How unlike are these to David and the Saints who say Psal 130. 4. there is mercy with thee therefore thou shalt be feared Ames faith well qui salutem sine resipiscentia pietate sperant sperando presumunt praesumendo pereunt They who once perswade themselves they shall be saved yet mind not repentance and godlinesse such perswasion is presumption such presumption is perdition 3. Many have presumed themselves into Hell by a vain dream of long life and a fond presumption of late repentance when we can neither boast of to morrow or were we assured of longer life have we any promise of late repentance Qui promittit penitenti veniam non promittit peccanti penitentiam God hath made a promise of pardon to the penitent but none of repentance to the presumptuous offender Many have had space given to Rev. 2. 21. repent that have not the grace given as is Gen. 6. 3. Rev. 22. 11. Mat. 21. 19. said of Jezabell God will not have his Spirit always strive with sinfull man but will at length say he that is filthy let him be filthy still never let fruit grow on thee henceforward seeing I would have purged thee and Ezek. 24. 13. thou wast not purged thou shall not be purged till I cause my fury to rest upon thee Secondly It is not likely thou shouldest repent at last after so long a course in sin Jer. 13. 23. Can the Ethiopian change his skin and the Leopard his spots then may ye learn to do well Novella planta facilius eradicatur quam cum profundius radices egerit Ames that have been accustomed to do evil Is it a likely matter thou shouldest pull up an Oake of twenty years growth and deep rooted in the earth which thou canst not pull up after it hath stood but one year but mightest easily the same day it was set Is repentance likely to be any thing easier to a dying man when all his sins come flocking in together when paines torment when strength and understanding faile when friends distract c Is it likely a dying man should be able to do more and bear a heavier burden then a man in his strength Is it likely a man should find that in the dark and stumble upon it which they could never find in the light How irrationall are thoughts of late repentance But that many are willing to deceive themselves and presume to find a short and easie way to life Thirdly If thou shouldest then repent it is a great question whether such repentance would be accepted for though true repentance is never too late yet this late repentance is seldome true God may justly shut the door upon thee and say I know thee not Depart thou rejecter of my grace thou worker of iniquity Go to the Gods that you have chosen Jud. 10. 14. or as in Deut. 32. 37 38. Where are the Gods and the rock in whom they trusted Which did eat the fat of their sacrifices and drank the wine of their drink offerings let them arise and save thee in the time of thy trouble or let them that have had the best take all the rest too I am not willing to judge any mans estate that is gone before with his late repentance But I remember what once Saint Austin Excellently said on such an occasion he was asked what he would say of a man that lived wickedly and died penitently and had confessed his sins and was absolved why saith he what shall I say shall I say he is damned No I will not for I may not judge him What then shall I say he is saved no I will not for I may not deceive thee but shall I say nothing Yes saith he this is all I say to thee repent thou truly and timely and thou art safe And if thou wilt repent when thou canst not sin thy sins have left thee and not thou thy sins Lastly I would reason with those that intend a late repentance and aske them what they think of repentance Is it good or is it evil If it be good why do they not get it now If evil why will they seek it at any time But if thou thin est it good and yet deferrest the practise of it so oft as thou thinkest it good thou condemnest thy self and so oft as thou thinkest it evil and yet intendest to practise it at last so oft thou condemnest repentance and the grace of God 4. And there is another presumptuous thought and as destructive as any the former which is of such who think to fly to the death of Christ and the grace of the Gospel yet still live in their sins They say we cannot outsin the death of Christ nor can our sins come up to the measure of the grace of God but if sin abound never so much grace will yet more abound But do you thus requite the Lord ye foolish people and unwise Shall we say Let us continue in sin that grace may abound Ro. 6. 1. Ro. 3. 31. Doth faith now make void the law God forbid saith the Apostle to both these inferences Sure that man is past grace or hopes of it that passeth so little by it that if grace reigne it must not reigne by righteousnesse but by unrighteousnesse unto eternall life through Jesus Christ our Lord. The grace of God that bringeth salvation was wont to teach men to deny uugodlinesse and worldly lusts and doth it now teach to deny Tit. 2. 11. 12. Godlinesse and heavenly lusts of the soul as I may say the spirit lusteth against the flesh Gal. 5. 17. and to live any otherwise then soberly righteously and Godly in this present world 5. I shall mention but one more presumptuous thought which is the presuming upon our own strength of grace and many have been overthrown by this In te stas non stas said Austin thou wouldest stand of thy self and therefore canst not stand In me stas qui nonstas saith Christ In me thou shalt be sure to stand who canst not stand Peter is a sad warning to us who over-confident of his own strength was soon frighted into a base ly and cursed oath and execration at the first look and word of a confident girle But Pendleton is a sadder who in the beginning of Queen Maryes daies told self-distrusting Sanders how stoutly he would stick to the truth to the last drop of blood and that every drop of his fat body should be fryed out at Smithfeild ere he would consent to the introducing of Popery Sanders had not so many words but more feares yet weak and self-fearing Sanders became the Martyr and Pendleton the Apostate How much was Peter safer Mat. 14. 30. when in the midst of
all-sufficient all-disposing providence who cares for all sets all our bounds counts the haires of our head regards the Sparrows Ravens Lillies much more his servants 2. Study his fatherhood and the sweetnesse of paternall affections what parents if not worse then infidells or beasts do not provide for their owne and shall not God for his family yea he that keeps so full a house for every servant will not see his children want He that feedes the ravens that cry will not starve the doves that mourn he that feedeth the roaring Lion will not starve the gentle Lamb. His Providentiall care is great his Paternall love sweeter 3. Study such promises as those 1. Pet. 5. 7. Heb. 13. 5. Psal 34. 9. 10. 4. Thou must pray down cares Phil. 4. 6. You cannot reason them down they will up again nor can you sing care away drink it away play it away it will come again in a worse dresse of poverty executions c. but pray it away and thou wilt get the victory 5. By soul cares make a diversion of worldly cares Mat. 6. 33. Seek the kingdome of God and you will not want employment Joh. 6. 27. Labor for that meat that endureth to eternall life as we stop bleeding by opening a vain to divert the blood turn the stream of thy cares another way and they will trouble thee lesse 6. Reckon thy self married to the Lord not to the world 1 Cor. 7. 34. Therefore care for the things of the Lord. 7. Consider the instability and emptinesse of these things and let not thy heart out upon them a joy love care skin-deep is enough let them not be heart-deep rejoyce as not rejoycing mourn as not mourning and use the world as not abusing it for the fashion and scheme of all this world is passing away 8. Consider thy life consists not in the abundance of the things which thou possessest Luk. 12. 15. 1. Not life it self for such must dye the man that leaves his ten thousands dies as soon as he that never saw ten pounds 2. Nor the comfort of his life the poor man hath as contented a meale of his dish of herbes and fetcheth as sweet a sleep on his hard bed as the rich with his dainty cates and bed of down The rich hath more cramps gout diseases and heart tormenting cares envies and discontents then the poor 3. Nor the safety of this life but they expose to more dangers the rich are set upon robbed and plundered when poor escape The King and Nobles were all carried captive when the poor were left behind The noble man and great man is oft secured Jer. 39. 10. and laied up in a Prison when the poor man breathes in a freer air 4. Least of all eternall life out of which if riches do not exclude yet love care and trust in riches do ever exclude Mar. 10. 24. And if this be all the good in these goods who would not say Horum ego tum optarem pauperrimus esse boâ—orum Pius Quintus said when he was an ordinary Preist he had good hopes of salvation when he was promoted to a Cardinall he became full of feares But when he was made Pope he even despaired CHAP. XVIII Of carnall thoughts BEsides these there are a many Carnall thoughts to be taken notice of Dangerous thoughts Carnall thoughts of God of his word worship and all his wayes These the naturall man is made up of and they are the best thoughts he hath or can have till he have another heart and become a spirituall person He savoureth the things of the flesh Ro. 8. 5. 1 Cor. 2. 14. He understandeth not doth not receive perceive or rellish any thing that is spirituall The wisdome of God is foolishnesse with such How contemptuously may you often heare such speak of divine things of the spirit of the new birth of praying by the spirit living in the spirit being in the spirit walking after the spirit How grosly do they conceive of many truths and duties laid down in Scripture Regeneration they know not what it is if it be not Baptisme feeding on Christ they know no other but either Carnall or Sacramentall Oh what strangers are they to the life of God to the life of faith to Union with Christ to the power of Eph. 4. 18. Ro. 8. 6. Godlinesse But to be carnally minded the Apostle saith is death hadst thou no other sins To be carnally minded is death They that are in the flesh cannot please God Ro. 8. 8. They may be in their Generations wise in their carriage unblamable for naturall endowments acquired skill and abilities in Arts Tongues Trades State-pollicy yea for humanity and the Theory of divinity they may be eminent yet their hearts thoughts and temper of spirit being carnal they perish in the midst of all as Zimri onely 1 King 16. 18. having the honor to burn in the house of a King and in the midst of Royall houshold-stuffe and may cry out as Nero Quantus Artifex Pereo How great naturalists How great Artists do we perish CHAP. XIX Of doubtfull distrustfull and fearfull thoughts IN the next place because I now and I suppose thou also grow weary of these evill thoughts and would fain rid my hands and heart of them I shall crowd two or three companies of them into this and the next chapter that we may the sooner have done with them And oh that I could as soon leave thinking as I can speaking of them and as well throw them by out of my heart as I can this pen or thou canst this Book out of thy hand But where there is so much carrion there will be crowes and where so much dung there will be Scarabees Jericho was once so close shut up they made account that none should go out none come in yet did there Josh 5. 1. Spies get in lodge and go out after that sought the destruction of the City that harboured them and were never perceived It is so with thee and mee 1. There are a crue of doubtfull thoughts that oft pester the mind cloud the understanding weaken faith damp hope deaden prayer destroy dependance delight and joy in God Doubts about self our state our duty about God his word his love his presence his care Yea about every thing May I beleeve in God may I adventure on such a promise may I pray may I expect an answer if I pray This doubting makes a Doating Christian Gird up thy Loines Aske in faith waver Jam. 1. 6. Mat. 21 22. not and fear noâ— whatsoever ye ask in prayer beleeving ye shall receive But he that wavereth and doubteth will never come to any stability but is like the waves of the Sea driven up and down by reason of their lightnesse and mobility at the pleasure of every blast 2. Distrustfull thoughts and unbeleeving are like the former whereby we are apt to call every thing in question Gods providence presence care
sometimes duty thy own is always sin It is sometimes necessary to take away anothers life sometimes excusable because unavoidable But never necessary never lawfull never excusable upon whatsoever pretence to deprive thy self of thy own life The Judge yea the Executioner are innocent when they take away the life of a malefactor They are both Gods Ministers for the good of others But thou canst never be innocent in this Act though thou hast been the foulest malefactor because God hath not made thee a Judge and Arbitrator of thy own life and death but bindes thee to the preservation onely and it is not God but Satan whose Executioner thou art 3. As it is a foul and most horrid sin it self so it is a big-bellied sin full of many other sins which ever accompany it as pride impatience immoderategrief bitter discontent yea unbelief and despair c. is ever accompanied with hard thoughts of God dislike of his providence and proceedings doubts of his truth love mercy and promises in Jesus Christ 4. There is no mention in all the Scriptures of any good man that ever did thus It is an Argument of great force and comfort when we have to do with some under foul sins sad desertions sorest distresses if we can parallel their case and say No temptation bafals you but what is common to men the like hath befallen others of the Saints But this hath never been the spot of any of Gods people recorded in Scripture I have nothing to do to judge of the state of such I onely judge the sin But this I say we cannot bring any ground of comfort to the friends of such what ever becomes of themselves as we may to those that have committed other fearfull enormities I have more hope of an adulterer of a blasphemer yea sorcerer then of such for of some such I can certainly make good their salvation against all contradiction but no man alive will undertake to conclude certainly of the salvation of any such and to prove it when he hath done as have made away themselves 5. They are onely a company of wicked and notoriously wicked ones in Scripture who were given over of God and left to fall into this Pit of self-perdition in this fearfull manner as Saul Achitophel Zimri Judas Neâ— sum nescius diâ—â—ing ni solcre inter 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 vâ—luntariam a desperatione vitae â—aedio Indignationâ— c. oâ—iundam 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Brutam quae saepe accidit furiosis mente capâ—is Mclancholicis insanis aut spiritu â—liquo malo obsessis in quiâ—â—us facultas ratiocinandi ita impeditur ut absque rationis communis sensus usâ— feâ—antur ad seipsos aliqâ—â— mortis genere perdendum Hi voluntarii suiipsorum interfectores dici noâ— possunt Vid. Dickson Ther. â—ac â— 1. â— 10. c. 6. Whither can any think such an act as this so unnaturall horrid and worse then brutish such an hellish act as this can lead but to the chambers of hell Because it is not repented of nor can well be conceived possible to be repented of other sins whatsoever committed in life may if not before be bitterly repented of at death and pardoned God may call at the last houre as the thief at the last gâ—sp and he is safe But if Satan call at the last houre and thy last act be sin where is thy hope of mercy We can expect no pardon without repentance we cannot rationally imagine repentance where the sun goeth down in wrath And therefore as we account Zimri Cosbi Corah Ananias Saphira miserable because they died in their sins 〈◊〉 know no ground to hope of their salvation so what hope can we have of you that shall do such an act as this I like that answer of a Godly Minister in the West who being demanded what he thought of a man overtaken in drink who fell from his horse and died he being ordinarily a civil man answered If such a man as this should go to heaven it is no way fit for us to know it and another said in like case If I were sure it were the case of this man the dearest friend I have should never have it from me 7. Lastly know this What ever thy apprehension is that God hath left thee and Satan hath power over thee will not let thee alone but compells thee that Satan hath no such power over thee It is thy own voluntary and sinfull act Satan may perswade and sollicit and suggest the time way place meanes but he compells none pray against him resist him he flies If he could have done it he had done it before now Sad is the story of Sebastian King of Portugall who engaging unadvisedly in his African War lost the battle at Alcazar lost also his Kingdome wandered disguised was discovered and owned at Venice sent prisoner to Naples There thrust into an horrid dungeon and for three daies and nights there left without food and had a halter and a knife laid by him but highly is his fortitude and Christian courage to be commended who underwent all this and chose rather to undergo all calamities whatsoever and to end his daies in misery then to be the devils instrument to destroy himself CHAP. XXVII Of Carefull Thoughts TO these we may adde those self â—ormenting carefull thoughts of which somewhat was said before as they are displeasing to God but they can never be enough spoken againsts most men have a double portion of them in the mouth of their hearts as Jacobs sons double mony in their sackes These thornes are not easily rooted up they overrun all our hearts Why take ye thought saith our Saviour Why are ye as meteors tost up and down disquieting your selves and all in vain what are you the nearer by all your thought taking These find us endlesse employment set us upon Penelopes web weaving unweaving doing undoing and make us wash the Ethiopian or labour in vain as we say man Mat. 6. 28. Lu. 12. 28. Psal 39. 6. loaden with these thoughts is like the horse in a mill he is driven he drawes he toiles sweats yet is just where he was Sometimes he hopes then he feares now desires anon despairs alwayes anxiety and torture It is ill with him that hath a Thorn in his hand or foot worse with him that hath them in his bed or in his head and heart continually this is the worldlings little ease the Scripture calleth these cares dividing cares and so well it may they make many divisions 1. Between a man and his neare relations while eaten up with worldly cares his naturall affections are eaten up he is wanting in making due or necessary provision for his family in giving fitting education and maintenance to his children 2. Between a man and himself not such a blessed variance as grace makes against corruption in a mans self sometimes between the body and health the worldly-minded man cruelly oppressing nature and impairing his
Ele you strike it yet it lives you flea it yet it lives you cut it in pieces yet it stirs you throw it into scalding water and there it stirs a while too So Bray a wicked fool in a morter his folly will not depart from him Prov. 27. 22. Reproofes kill it not affliction kils it not sicknesse kils it not weaknesse kils it not death kils it not nay hell kils it not The heart is the only 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 The unruly evil which no man can tame Jam. 2. 8. This sets on fire the whole course of nature and is it self set on fire of hell Full it is of deadly poyson as that old Leprosie it infects all that comes near it We think Lev. 13. it sad living in an unwholsome aire or in a house near the Common-shore because of the continuall ill smels What is it to live over the ill savour of a fowl nasty heart Who would willingly lodge or dwell in a house reported to be haunted with Evil spirits Thy heart is so yet thou art not afraid David was weary of Mesech Israel of Egypt Lot sick of Sodom Jeremy of his Dungeon and wilt thou as the Bedlam play with thy chaines and sport thy self with thine own deceivings in the midst of thy mortall and bloudy enemies Consider well of it CHAP. XXX The Third Use of Information in severall particulars THE third use informes us of divers weighty points 1. What a wide and vast difference there is between the lawes of men and the pure law of God All those fall far short of this they reach but the outward man this the heart spirit conscience and the most hidden thoughts Heb. 4. 12. Their Laws are Carnall this Spirituall holy requiring truth in the inward parts This applies Canons Rom. 7 14. and Engins to the mind and forbids lust in the first motions checks the thought of Belial 2 Cor. 10 4 5. Rom. 7 7. or wickednesse as it is cal'd in the heart Deut. 15. 9. The Laws of men require no more but to strike the topsale in a civil behaviour The Law of God boards every vessel cals for the bils of lading makes a through search in every Cabin sees what we are fraught with and if it find any prohibited wares not goods or concealed armes for the use of the enemy they are seized on and the vessell must yield or sink The Laws of men plant their Ordinance against the Enemies colours set out upon the wals of the Castle That of God undermines the foundations and blows up all that stand in opposition The Magistrate onely provides ne peccatum turbet God ne sit he ne peccatum resistat God ne restet We may be Boni cives mali Christiani We may observe the manner of the God of the land as they said 2 Kings 17. 27. Yet not know or keep the Laws of the God of heaven The Statutes of Omri and Samaria are oft-times kept by Mit. 6. 16. those who violate the Edicts of Sion and of Christ The Christian therefore must not be a Statute Christian but a Scripture Christian 2. What a sad difference there is between the holy Law of God and our base hearts His Law pure we impure that spirituall we carnall It was an uneven and uncomfortable match between beautifull courteous and vertuous Abigail and that clown and ungracious churle Nabal that between beautifull Moses and black Zipporah but Gods Law and our hearts are worse matched But those were the worst matches in all the Scriptures Gen. 6. 2 4. when the Sons of God went in to the daughters of men they begat that Gygantean and vicious race which corrupted the whole earth But this is the worst match in the world wherein the Law of God is married to the heart of man For the motions of sins which are by the law do work in our members to bring forth fruit to death Rom. 7. 6. and hereby is the whole Church corruptted The Tables of the Law were formerly engraven in stone and put into an Ark◠overlaid with pure Gold within and without Exod. 25. 11. But the Tables of the Law and Covenant of Grace are now written in Gold and put into a homely ark of stone 3. What a difference there is between a godly and a wicked man a sincere person and a hypocrite as much or more as between Solomons shields of beaten massy gold and 1 King 10. 17. and 14. 27. Rehoboams of brasse of like size and number Copper and Gold differ not so much in colour as in their weight and worth So tin and silver look alike weigh not alike The difference between man and man is not so much in favour complexion stature or state as in the mind not so much in diseases poverty misery as sin not so much in education wit reason parts or gifts as graces The godly for his outward aspect is like to an old Church Pauls for example built of ordinary stone without plain but when you come in you find there a comely inside handsome seats and a convenient place to worship God in The wicked for his outside not much unlike yet more fitly compared to a prison Newgate for example built of fair stone but within nothing to be found but nastinesse hunger hardship ill smels and which is worst of all a company of Hell-birds for their vile behaviour In a word the godly are like heaven fair without but the glory is all invisible and not to be imagined how great till you come within And the wicked are like hell it self to which a broad and easie way doth lead but it is bad to describe but worse then you can imagine when you enter 4. What a busie work is it to be a Christian he hath more to do then to wash Animum rege hunc fraenus hunc tu compesce Catena Horat. the outside of the cup and platter to make a covenant mith his eye ear hand foot mouth and to keep his mouth bridled he must keep his heart bridled Keep thy heart with all keeping Prov. 4. 23. The God of truth requireth to be worshipped in spirit and truth Joh. 4. 24. in the inward parts The cleanly Christian is like those neat Citizens who if they wash and sweep their doors to the street side do wash and rub and keep the inside cleanner if they do but brush their outward garments have their inner garments washt and the linnen which is next them so the Christian is to cleanse his hands but much more to purge and purify his heart The sincere Christian who would be approved of God is to adorn the inner man of the heart 1 Pet. 3. 4. as old Sarah did and to affect to be of the Kings daughters fashion the spouse of Christ all glorious within Psal 45. 13. or to be in the Bridegrooms fashion whose outward garment was of four pieces as all the other Israelites were Deut. 22. 12. yet was his inner
see the Kings that were immured Josh 10. 22. the chief enemies of thy soul lurk here Here is the root of the matter of sin Here is the Cockatrices den here hells mouth here the devils forge Here are heapes upon heapes of wickednesse treasures of darknesse which the vultures eye of the wicked nor the Eagle eye of the Godly never yet saw open this pit and there steames out so much darknesse as thou shalt not see where thou art Actuall sins are many but sins in the thoughts many more for one act of adultery murder committed a thousand adulteries and murders in the heart Actuall sins are sometimes restrained but the restlesse thoughts are ever sinning The wells of Moab were all stopâ— by the Israelites 2 King 3. 25. it were well if all the Israelites and people of God in the world could stop up these wells But who can shut up the sea with doores when it breakes forth as if it issued out of the womb Cloudes are the garment of it and thick darknesse the swadling band of it The Job 38. 8 9. same may be said of the heart who can shut it with doores c. thick darknesse is the swadling band of it Know that Gods word is a Judge of thy thoughts and Gods eye is Heb. 4. 12. Psal 139. 1 Cor. 4. 6. Jer. 6. 19. upon the thoughts and Gods judgment day is for the arraigning and discovering of thy thoughts And thy reward will be according to the fruit of thy thoughts And that which will most accuse or excuse thee Condemne or quit thee in that day will be thy thoughts Ro. 2. 15. Oh what a sad thing it will be when the Lord shall lay open all thy thoughts and say thus thou didst and thus Psal 50. 21. thou thoughtest thy thought still worse then thy deed a professor in word an hypocrite in thy heart a Saint at Church a devil in thy thoughts charitable in word covetous in thy thoughts courteous in words false and treacherous in thy thoughts Item so many thousands of Atheisticall Impious hard thoughts of God Item as many Injurious malicious revengefull mischievous thought towards others Item as many more Unclean proud and vain thoughts besides that thy hearâ— was full off Item so many worldly plodding thoughts which all perisht with thee Psal 146. 4. When thou wouldest preserve them Item so many good thoughts which perisht in thee because thou wast so cruell to stifle and strangle them 3. To fly to the fountain opened for sin and uncleannesse These evil thoughts where other foul sins have not broke out shew us what an absolute universall continuall need all have to fly to Christ Jesus These fiery serpents should make us look up to this Brasen Num. 21. serpent for justifying sanctifying and healing mercies This Leprosie is onely to be healed by Jordan not by Abana and Pharpar waters The bloud and spirit of Christ are the onely meanes to cure this Leper as the bloud of the dead bird and water with the living bird cleansed the legall Leprosie And as the separation water mixed with the ashes of the slain heifer purified all uncleannesse Lev. 16. Num. 19. So it is onely the bloud of Christ who through the eternall spirit offered himself without spot to God which can purge our consciences from dead works to serve the living God Heb. 9. 14. For as when we were in the flesh the motions of sin which were in the flesh did bring forth fruit unto death so being married and joyned unto Christ we shall bring forth fruit unto God Ro. 7. 5 6. I have read of some springs that change the colour of the cattle that drink of them into the colour of their own waters as Du Bartas sings Cerona Xanth and Cephisus do make The thirsty flocks that of their waters take Black red and white And neer the crimson deep The Arabian fountain maketh crimson sheep Jesus Christ is such a fountain in which whosoever bathes and of which whosoever drinkes shall be changed into the same likenesse and as he is pure so shall they be presented without spot before God through him CHAP. XXXIII An use of Examination with certaine notes to know whether the thoughts be good or bad I should now come to make an use of Examination but that is thy work not mine I am to examine my own heart and thoughts not anothers and thou art to examine thine And we should make many such uses of examination or else God will make one sad one for us All other uses of this doctrine are in vain if this be neglected Be thou daily in this counting house nec te qusr siveris extra If any be so impious as to say who made me my brothers keeper let none be so bruitish as to say who made me my own keeper send Amaziahs Gen. 4. 9. challenge to thy heart and say come let us see one another in the face let thee and I 2. Ch. 25. 17. commune together And if thy heart send thee Sanballats message in good earnest come let us meet together and have a personall Neh. 6. 2 3. and private treaty Say not I am about other businesse why should my work stand still Leave all worldly businesse to heare what this friend hath to say to thee This is to be daily practised to prevent that long examination at last and if we did thus Judge our selves we should not be judged of the Lord To this duty we are oft exhorted 1 Cor. 11. 28. 2 Cor. 13. 5. And I shall give a few notes whereby to try whether our thoughts be good or bad after I have answered one objection Ob. If the heart be as the thoughts be then I hope I have a good heart for I have good thoughts Ans All good thoughts argue not the heart good as we said all evil thoughts prove not the heart evil The most wicked man that lives may have some good thoughts 1. He hath one single good thought not many God is not in all his thoughts Psal 10. 4. yea in very few of them But one swallow makes not a spring 2. His thoughts are ordinarily and habitually evil he may have accidentally and occasionally some good thought at a Sermon c. as Agrippa Felix c. 3. Yet that good thought is transient not deliberate as a good mans bad thought is transient but good deliberate 4. And it is usually checkt and smothered when conceived or suggested as Satan injects evil to the Godly but he casts out so do the wicked when God injecteth good God casts in he casts out as fast at an other time a good motion is cast in he casts it our again They fall as sparkes upon dank tinder they take not They are like the summer fruits eaten up as soon as touched Esa 28. 4. 5. And likely thy good thoughts are impertinent and prepoâ—â—erous the devil when thou art at Sermon or at prayer will
desire 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 1 Cor. 9. 18. nothing more then to have a cheap and unchargable Gospel in these daies but not in the Apostles sense he would have it unchargeable to others these to themselves But this we find they who first desire a cheap Gospel do next desire no Gospell at all 9. When we take a right and proper course to attain our desires they are right Solomon as he spares no cost so he useth all 1 King 5. 5 6. meanes sends far and near to get workmen and materialls the best could be had for mony for the Temple The Queen of Shâ—ba desired resolution of her hard questions She came from the uttermost parts of the earth to get Solomons answer to them Saul desired 1 King 10. 13. 1 Sam. 23. 20. to have David in his power he raiseth the country mustereth his forces hunts him out in the wildernesse as if he should say I le have him dead or alive if he be above ground I le have him So saith the desiring soul I le not give over seeking praying waiting Grace and pardon of sin I must have if it be above ground in ordinances I le after it yea if it be above in heaven I le thither to God for it And for sin I le have the life of it if it were present I would throw my javelin at it if it hides itself I le seek after it if it be decaying I le hasten to make an end of it as they dealt with Absalom when he was labouring for life 2 Sam. 18. 14 15. 17. in the tree Joab thrusts three darts into his heart then ten more come to make him sure if he had any more lives then one then they lay an heap of stones upon him one death is not enough for such an enemy So it will be here but they kill him and kill him again to rid the world of such an Arch Rebell such indignation against and full revenge will be pursued against the Arch Rebell in the soul the prevailing lust Or as Jehu whom God raised up to cut off the house of Ahab he marcheth furiously and when he lights on Joram the first born he drawes his bow with his whole might and smites Joram between the armes that the arrow went out at his heart and he sunk down in his chariot then throwes him out to the dogs 2 King 9. 24 25. The like or worse to Jezebell the cursed mother of that wicked race he bids throw her out of the window and break her neck not content with that fall he treads her under foot and then leaves her to the dogs too to make an end of her To execute the Judgement that was written Such honour such Indignation have all the Saints Psal 149. 9. So say the Godly sin hath brought one death upon me and would bring a second and an eternall death I would therefore bring a first second and eternall death upon it 10. Lastly Good desires are impatiently patient or patiently impatient till they be fulfilled patient of paines impatient onely of delaies or disappointment Pro. 13. 12. Hope deferred maketh the heart sick but when the desire cometh it is a tree of life Shechem Gen. 34. 19. because his soul clave unto Dinah delaid not to be circumcised And Jacob when he Gen. 31. 22. 30. longed to at his fathers house set out by night and was three daies journey on his way ere he was missed A man whose heart hangs heavenward and to his fathers house will not stay till he be forced out by sicknesse and death but up he gets and on he goes with all the speed he can Wicked Shimei may be a good example to wicked men who was the first to fling stones at David and curse him when he thought David could never call him to an account but when he saw David returning he hasted with the first to meet David to begge his life and desired it because he came in of himself the first of all the rebels and obtained it 2 Sam. 19. 16. 19 20. 4. Rule desires are then good when attended with good companions As. 1. Prayer and desires go together Ro. 10. 1. Psal 21. 2. Dead desires may gasp out some faint wishes good desires breath out strong prayers 2. Desires and waiting Es 26. 8. 3. Desires and seeking early and earnestly ever go together Esay 26. 9. Where are no endeavors there are no desires unlesse killing as Solomon calls them Pro. 21. 25. The desire of the slothfull killeth him for his hands refuse to labour Pro. 13. 4. The soul of the sluggard desireth and hath nothing because he joyneth no warme endeavors with his cold desires He loveth roast but he Eccle. 4. 5 loveâ—h nor to turn the spit Pro. 12. 27. The slothfull roasteth not what he took in hunting He desires a good harvest and a year of plenty with many a good wish but he cannot away with this plowing and sowing with this heat and cold with this toiling and sweating Therefore his desires make him a begger it is said Pro. 20. 4. But as the Poet saith Qui Cupit optatam vitae contingere metam Multa tulit fecitque puer sudavit al sit Who so desires a blessed life to gain Endures cold heat toile sweat thirst hunger paine But wishers and woulders we say never prove good housholders and certainly shall never prove heavenholders Heaven is propounded in Scripture as the reward onely to the hard labourer Jo. 6. 27. To the diligent seeker Ro. 2. 7. To the earnest striver Lu. 13. 24. To the unwearied runner 1 Cor. 9. 24. To the valiant fighter 1 Tim. 6. 12. To the prevailing conquerer Rev. 2. 7. To him that overcometh But Lazy desires have no place there But they are one of the chief Arches upon which Hellbridge is founded or of the pillars by which Satans kingdome is supported which are reckoned five 1. The good purposes of bad men thaâ— they will amend c. 2. The good desires of Lazy men 3. The prayers and promises of sick men 4. The teares and repentance of dying men 5. The strong faith and good hopes of Ignorant and prophane men Satan saith to all these well done good and faithfull servant Purpose so still desire so still pray and promise so still repent so still and beleeve so still 4. Good desires are accompanyed usually with mourning after what is desired and fervency of mind therefore mourning and earnest desire joyned 5. With many other good companions mentioned 2 Cor. 7. 11. Carefullnesse 2 Cor. 7. 7 selfclearing holy indignation fear zeal revenge 6. With earnest groanings of soul Psal 38. 9. 2 Cor. 5. 2. and breaking of heart almost till we have attained Psal 119. 20. 7. Lastly with greatest joy when the desire is granted Pro. 13. 12. yea delight and contentment in looking after what is desired Cant. 7. 10. 1 Pet. 1. 12. If thy desires have these companions they
any where so furiously nor continued the temptation so long as when he was in the desart He that walketh over the dry and lightsome places and findeth no rest cometh into the wet dark and solitary places and there findeth it Those Austere Eremites of old who forsook the world to dwell in caves and desarts could not fly from Satan and from a sinfull nature though they fed on the bread of affliction and water of affliction sin and Satan are not cast out with such Engines We may go out of the world while we are in it we cannot run from the flesh or Satan so Some old Eremites shut themselves up from the sight and speech of man and woman Asepesima sixty years Didimuâ— ninety years and was never seen of any John Sornany an Egyptian Eremite stood three years in a cliffe of a rock till his legs and feet swelled broke and run with putrified matter But sin followes us into caves and solitude Lot was more safe in Zoar yea Sodom then in his cave whom the vicious Sodomites could noâ— corrupt those that came out of his own bowels watching their opportunity overcame and defiled Certainly it is safer living in a Sodom where God is not known yea abiding in a corrupt Church as Pergamus was where Satans Seat is and where Satan dwelleth Re. 2. 13. Then to shut up our selves too much in corners where Satans circle is and Gods protection is not because our callings and conditions lead not to it CHAP. XXXVI The last use of admonition to Simon and his followers BEfore we make an end we must have a word with our young Simons the Schollers and followers of this old Sorcerer Neque enim ulli sunt ex hâ—â—mano genere magis degeneres vel minus homines quam qui paciscuntur cum insernis spiritibus aâ—t illâ—s quovis modo consuluâ—t Dr. Arrowsmith Tact. Sac. 1. â— c. 3. who gave us the occasion of all this discourse Among men these are worst among Christians none at all They have neither part nor lot in this matter These if any would be rebuked sharply as he was then by Peter men in the gall of bitternesse and bonds of all iniquity The Astrologer Southsayer and fortune teller is his brother whose first aim is to be 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 some great one whose last end is to be 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a foul black one Some sins are scarlet and bloudy sins yet may be cleansed these are like the Ethiopians skin not to be changed yet I do not say it is impossible these should be saved for Manasseh repented of this sin and found mercy 2 Chr. 33. But I say with Peter Repent of this wickednesse and know thy sin is great The greatest sin in Scripture Rebellion is said to 1 Sam. 15. 23. be as the sin of witchcraft therefore what is witchcraft it self The professors of this black art since oracles ceased are the onely oracles the devil now hath left by them he is enquired of by them he gives his answers These are the dragons mouth out of which he casts flouds of impiety and reproach against the Ministers of Christ and these his taile by which he would sweep the stars out of heaven Rev. 12. 4. If Saul perished for going unto such 1 Chr. 10. 13. what shall become of such who are so themselves but the truth is both these blind ones fall into the ditch And as the Psalmist saith of Idolls Idoll makers and Idoll worshippers they are all alike They that make them Psal 135. 18. are like unto them so are all that trust in them So I may say of Satan the sorcerer and them who resort to them The sorcerer who erects the figure is like to Satan from whom he learnes his art he speaks in this image and he that trusts in him is as bad as himself I shall desire him if he have yet any sense left to think of Peters words to Simon Magus and adde to them the words of Paul Act. 13. 10. to Elimas Magus And so leave him It is said Paul full of the Holy Ghost set his eyes upon him and said Oh full of all subtilty and mischiefe thou child of the devil thou enemy of all righteousnesse wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord Here are seven vialls full of the wrath of God poured upon the head of such 1. Thou full of all subtilty The devil ever makes choice of serpents subtle not simple oneâ— to deceive others by They are subtle crafty slippery and cunning serpents that makes simple ones admire them 2. And full of mischief These have as much of the one as the other serpents in both these properties subtilty and mischief 3. Thou child of the devil Others are the servants or captives of the devil these his legitimate children begotten by him bearing his image professing his black art and upholding his kingdome of darknesse among the children of disobedience 4. Thou enemy of all righteousnesse worst of men others want righteousnesse these haâ—e it oppose it calumniate it who speak or write so maliciously against Godly and learned Ministers as these do where is there such lying cheating bewitching ensnaring destroying as among these sons of Apollyon 5. These pervert the right way of the Lord Others ignorantly mistake it and wander from it These â—â—udiously pervert it and mislead others out of it 6. Wilt thou not cease to pervert c. These when they begin seldome make an end but persist in their pernicious waies as being given up to a reprobate mind 7. And the last viall puts out his eyes and smites him with spirituall Excaecation The hand of God is commonly observed to fall heavy on them in this world either bringing them to shamefull deaths as to their bodies or sealing them under spirituall and judiciall hardnesse of heart and blindnesse of mind Discite justitiam aut judicium tremite Betimes amend Or hell 's your end CHAP. XXXVII Containing a Soliloquy or the souls sad meditation upon the Trouble of Evil thoughts SAve me O God for the waters come into my Psal 69. 1 2. Psal 93. 3. soule I sink in deep mire where there is no standing I am come into deep waters where the flouds overflow me The flouds have lift up O Lord the flouds of Beliall lift up their voice they lift up their waves And this busie heart of mine is like the raging sea that cannot rest and Esa 57. 20. these restlesse thoughts of mine are like the raging waves foming out their own Jud. v. 13. shame My fight is not so dangerous with flesh and blood abroad as with principalities and powers above nor yet with them neither so dreadfull as with the spiritual wickednesse in secret places within The 2 Sam. 10. 9. battle is round about behind and before that I am sorebeset I fear and faint and see no place of safety I cry but
can not fly I think to fly but fall into the mouth of danger I run from the roaring Lion and Am. 5. 19. a Bear assaults me I hast from him to find shelter in the house and the serpent in the wall stings me I escâ—pe the open pit and am taken in the hidden snare Abroad the Esa 24. 18. Lam. 1. 20. sword devoureth within there is as death I run with Lot from the Sodom of a prophane world and think to find safety in the Gen. 19. 30 31. Zoar of holy ordinances but there am I in fear I go to the cave of solitude and there they that come out of my loines deflower me I row and work but the sea out-works me I sleep and am not secure a storm awakes me I perceive a Jonah is Jonah 1. 13. within I cry unto thee my throat is dried Psal 69. 3. Psal 1. 43. 6. Psal 119. 82. Psal 144. 7. 11. I stretch out my hands to thee as the parched thirsty land Mine eyes faile in waiting for thy salvation saying when wilt thou rid me and deliver me from the hands of strange children whose right hand is a right hand of falshood I cry out with thy Church of old our persecutors are swifter then the eagles Lam. 4. 19. of heaven they pursue us upon the mountaines and lay wait for us in the wildernesse Oh that Jer. 9. 1. my head were waters and that mine eyes were a fountain of teares that I might weep day and night for the bruise of the daughter of Sion my soul whose whole head is sick and heart faint from the crown of the head to the soâ—e of the foot there is no soundnesse but wounds and blaines and Esa 1. 6. putrifying sores Oh that I had a cottage in the wildernesse that I might leave my Jer. 9. 2. habitation and go from an assembly of Treacherous ones Or that I had wings like Psal 55. 6. a dove that I might fly away and be at rest Oh that thou wouldest put out thy hand and take me into thy Ark that I might be delivered from these windy storms tempests In the multitude of my many other sins my Thoughts perplex my soul Ashamed I am O Lord to speak and blush to think what an heart I have an heart so dark so dead so vain and vile so foul and filthy A noisome dunghill a stinking sepulchre a loathsom dungeon an infected Pesthouse a cage of filthy birds a sty of swine a den of theeves Like that great tree this heart of mine is wherein are branches enough for all fouls of the ayr to build their nests and under whose shade is shelter for all the beasts of the earth A very Tophet I may call it because a burying place it is of whatever good is an Horma because a place Jer. 7. 32. Num. 21. 3. Num. 11. 34. Gen. 14. 10. Hos 4. 15. of execution to holy motions and desire a Kibroth-hattaavah because the grave of lusts the vale of Siddim because so full of slime-pits yea a Beth-Aven because a house full of iniquity is in it Ah Lord what thoughts are there what sinfull thoughts my good desires few faint fading I think and think not I muse and mind not I like but seek not allow but pursue not I know but love not I say but do not I wish but will not A will or almost half a will I have a power and care and compleat will I want But of sinfull thoughts how great the number how foul the nature how restlesse their motion rudely rushing in unsent for proudly commanding entertainment though not bid welcome refusing to quit their lodgings if not by strong hand excluded though desired to be gone The good thought how rarely is it seen in this Climat as rare almost as an Angel in Sodom whither once there came a couple and when pressed and intreated to come in had almost chuse rather to lie in the streets then come under this roof but when once entred how do the sons of Sodom young and old beset the room from every quarter pressing upon me with violence to have them out no dores bars entreaties of mine can keep them out Lord put out thy hand draw in this heart secure these heavenly guests and strike these sons of Sodom with blindnesse or deadnesse that they may never find a door for entrance Oh! What cold entertainment doth a good thought find it is either ript out of the womb as Hazaell ript the children out of their mothers bellies before it is ripe for birth or cast out as soon as born as the males of Israel to be destroyed or else persecuted to death in infancy as the children in Bethlehem by that bloudy Herod who sought to slay thy Son if it had been possible Lord remember they that seek my life seek thine and thy Christs But let what is of Christ be preserved though all the rest perish In Egypt I read the more thy people were diminished the more they multiplied oh that it might be so here with me at least let the Lord leave a seed that I be not as Sodom or made like unto Gomorrah I have too many other sins to bewaile of eye ear mouth hand foot and the whole diseased man Totus pro corpore morbus But as unhappy Saul had not it seemes hurt enough done him by the Philistines wounds but he must hasten his 1 Sam. 31. 4. own death by falling on his own sword so miserable I as if I had not enemies enow abroad must contribute somewhat to my own ruine from my self Had I no other sins my thoughts alone would undo me should I wash my self with snow water and Job 9. 30. 31. make my self never so clean These garments would defile me Oh of thee Lord how few thoughts have I And those again how low mean and sorry Of thy Son Spirit and grace how irreverent confused and unbecoming Of thy Word and Works how many questioning disliking and gainsaying thoughts have I And my evil thoughts not transient and vanishing as are my good but fixed deliberate and abiding either ever remaining or ever and anon returning How ignorant earthly carnall is my heart not savouring the things of God but those which are of Mat. 16. 23. men how cold loose dead is my spirit all the wisdome that is here below is earthly sensuall or devillish This heart of mine a Jam. 3. 15. garden to weeds a grave to graces a lake of Sodom or dead sea wherein no holy motion breeds or is long-lived The earth puts forth her weeds at spring forbeares in winter my heart is winter all the year long to grace a spring to weeds The Aguish body hath his well day after an ill I am followed with a Quotidian that hath his hot fit after his cold I have both together a continuall cold fit to duty and hot to sin Lord when shall this Etna have