says he as you would bury the meanest Christian Nor do I concern my self where ye lay my Body for the Last Iudgment will find it out in One place as well as in Another and for the Pomp of my Funeral I heed it not When he came to mention the Ringing of Bells the saying of Masses the Business of Pardons and Purchasing a Communion of Merits My good Pastor says he I shall find my self never the worse if never a Bell be rung and One Funeral Office will abundantly content me but if there be any thing else which the publick Custom of the Church has made necessary and that cannot well be Omitted without giving a scandal to the Weak In that case I remit my self to your Pleasure Nor am I at all desirous either to buy any Man's Prayers or to rob any Man of his Merits Those of Christ I take to be sufficient and I wish only that I my self may be the better for the Prayers and Merits of the Whole Church if I Live and Die but a true Member of it All my hope is in these two Assurances The One is That my Sins are abolished and nail'd to the Cross by my Blessed Savioâ—e who is our Chief Shepherd The Other is that which Christ bath signed and sealed with his Holy Blood By which we are made sure of Eternal Salvation if we place all our Trust in Him. Far be it from me to insist upon Merits and Pardons as if I would provoke my God to enter into Iudgment with his Servant in whose sight no Flesh living shall be Iustifi'd His Mercy is boundless and unspeakable and thither it is that I must appeal from his Iustice. The Parish-Priest upon these words Departed and Cornelius with great Ioy and Chearfulness as one Transported with the hope of a better Life caused some Texts to be read to confirm him in the hope of a Resurrection and set before him the Rewards of Immortality As That out of the Prophet Isaâ—aâ— concerning the deferring of the Death of Hezekias together with the Hymn and then the 1 Cor. 15 The Death of Lazarus out of St. Iohn but especially the History of Christ's Passion out of the Gospels With what affection did he take in all these Scriptures Sighing at some Passages Closing his Hands as in Thankfulness at Others One while rapt and Overjoy'd at some Passages and at Others sending up his Soul in short Ejaculations After Dinner when he had slept a little he caused to be read the Twelfth of St. Iohn to the End of the Story And here the Man seem'd to be Transfigur'd and possess'd with a New-Spirit Toward Evening he call'd his Wife and Children and raising himself as well as he could he thus bespake them My dearest Wife the same God that joyn'd us doth now part us but only in our Bodies and That too but for a short time That Care Kindness and Piety that thou hast hitherto divided betwixt my self and the tender Pledges of our Mutual Love thou art now to transfer wholly to Them Nor canst thou do any thing more acceptable to God or to me than to Educate Cherish and Instruct those whom Providence has bestow'd upon us as the Fruit of our Conjunction that they may be found worthy of Christ. Double thy Piety towards them and reckon upon my share too as translated unto Thee If thou dost This as I am confident thou wilt thy Children are not to be accounted Orphans If ever thou shouldst Marry again With that his Wife gush'd out into Tears and as she was about to forswear the thing Cornelius thus interposed My dearest Sister in Christ If our Lord Jesus shall vouchsafe to thee such a Resolution and strength of Spirit be not wanting to thy self in the Cherishing of so Divine a Grace for it will be more Commodious as well to thy self as to thy Children but if thy Infirmity shall move thee another way know that My Death has freed thee from the Bond of Wedlock but not from That Trust which in both our Names thou owest in Common to the Care of our Children As to the Point of Marriage make use of the Freedom which God has given thee This only let me intreat and admonish thee make such a Choice of a Husband and so discharge thy self towards him in the Condition of a Wife that either by his Own Goodness or for Thy Convenience he may be kind to our Children Have a Care then of Tying up thy self by any Vow Keep thy self free to God and to our Issue and bring them up in such a frame of Piety and Virtue and take such care of them that they may not fix upon any Course of Life till by Age and the use of things they shall come to understand what is fittest for them Turning then to his Children he exhorted them to the Study of Virtue Obedience to their Mother and Mutual Friendship and Affection among themselves He then kist his Wife pray'd for his Children and making the Sign of the Cross recommended them to the Mercy of Christ. After This looking upon all that were present Yet before to Morrow-morning says he the Lord that sanctified the Morning by Reviving upon it will descend out of his Infinite Mercy to call this poor Soul of mine out of the Sepulchre of my Body and the Darkness of This Mortality into his Heavenly Light. I will not have ye tire your selves in your Tender Age with Vnprofitable Watching only let One wake with me to read to me and let the rest sleep by Turns When he had past the Night about Four in the Morning the whole Family being present he caused that Psalm to be read which our Saviour praying recited upon the Cross. When That was done he call'd for a Taper and a Cross and taking the Taper The Lord says he is my Light and my Salvation whom shall I fear And then kissing the Cross The Lord says he is the Defender of my Life of whom then shall I be afraid By and by with his hands upon his breast and the Gesture of One Praying and with his Eyes lifted up to Heaven Lord Iesus says he receive my Spirit And immediately he closed his Eyes as if he were only about to sleep and so with a Gentle Breath he deliver'd up his Spirit as if he had only slumber'd and not expir'd Ma. The least painful Death that ever I heard of Ph. His Life was as Calm as his Death These two Men were both of 'em My Friends and perhaps I am not so good a Judge which of them Dy'd the likest a Christian But you that are Unbyas'd may perhaps make a better Judgment Ma. I 'll think of it and give you my Opinion at Leisure THE EXORCISM OR The APPARRITION COL XIII A Dragon in the Air with the Relation of an Artificial and Famous Imposture THOMAS ANSELMUS Th. YOU have found a Purchase sure that ye Laugh to your self thus What 's the best News Ans. Nay you
of indifference as never to be transported with any violent Inclinations or Aversions and this secures me whether my Fortune be good or bad from either Insolence in one Case or Abjection or despondence in the other Pa. Make this good and you are a greater Philosopher then either Thales or Metrodorus themselves Gl. So soon as ever I find but the first Motion of any disorder in my mind as these Touches are not to be avoided whether it be from the sense of an Indignity or Affront I cast it immediately out of my thoughts Po. Well! but there are some Family-Provocations and Offences for the purpose that would anger a Saint Gl. They never stay long enough with me to make an Impression If I can quiet things I do 't If I cannot I say thus to my self Why should I gall my self to no manner of purpose In a word my Reason does that for me at first which after a little while time it self would do briefly If any thing troubles me I never carry the thought on 't to Bed with me Eu. 'T is no wonder to see so vigorous a Body under the Government of so virtuous a mind Gl. Come come Gentlemen in the Freedom of Friendship I have kept this Guard upon my self not to do any thing that might reflect upon my own Honour or my Families There 's no Misery like that of a Guilty Conscience and I never lay my Head upon my Pillow at night till I have by Repentance reconcil'd my self to God for the Transgressions of the day past He that 's well with his Maker can never be uneasie within himself for the Love and Protection of the Almighty supports him against all the Malice of wicked Men Eu. Have you never any anxious thoughts upon the apprehension of Death Gl. No more then I have for looking back upon the Day of my Birth I know I must dye and to live in fear on 't may possibly shorten my Life it can never lengthen it so that my only Care is to live honestly and comfortably and leave the rest to Providence No man can live Happily that does not live Well Pa. But to live so long in the same Place though 't were in Rome it self I should grow Grey I Phancy with so much of the same thing over again Gl. There 's Pleasure no doubt on 't in Variety but then for long Travels though experience and observation may make men Wise they run the Risk of a thousand Dangers to ballance that Prudence Now I am for the safer way of Compassing the World in a Map and I can find out more in Printed Travels then ever Vlysses saw in all his twenty years Ramble I have my self a Villa some two miles out of Town when I 'm There I 'm a Country-man and when I come back again I am welcom'd as if I had been upon the discovery of the North-West passage Eu. You keep your Body in order I presume with Physick Gl. No no I have nothing to do with the Doctors I was never Let-blood in my Life yet and never medled with either Pill or Potion When I feel my self any way indisposed change of Air or a spare Diet sets me right again Eu. Don't you Study sometime Gl. Oh by all means 'T is the most agreeable Entertainment of my Life But not so as to make a Toyl of a Pleasure And I do it not for Ostentation but for the Love and Delight of it or for the informing of my Life and Mannersâ— After Dinner I have a Collation of edifying Discourse or Stories or else some-body to Read to me and I never Plod at my Book above an hour at a time When that 's over I take my Lute perhaps and a walk in my Chamber either Groping it or Singing to 't or ruminating it may be upon what I have heard or read If I have a good Companion with me I give him part on 't and after a while to my Book again Eu. But tell me now upon the word of an honest Man do you find none of those infirmities about ye that are so common to Old Age Gl. Why truly my Sleeps are not so Sound neither is my Memory so firm as it has been I have now acquitted my self of my Promise to a Syllable and told you the whole secret that has kept me Young so long And pray'e let Polygamus deal as faithfully with us in the Relation of what has made him Old so much Sooner Po. You are so much my Friends that you shall have it without any Disguise or Reserve Eu. Pray'e let it be so then and it shall never go further POLYGAMUS I need not tell you how much I indulg'd my Appetite when I was at Paris Eu. We remember it very well but hop'd that upon quitting the place you had left your Hot blood and your loose Manners behind ye Po. I had Variety of Mistresses there and one of them that was Bagg'd I took home with me Eu. What to your Fathers house Po. Directly thither But she past for the Wise of a certain Friend of mine that in a short time was to follow her Gl. And did your Father swallow this Po. Yes at first but in a matter of four days he smelt out the Cheat and then there was heavy work made on 't In this interim however I spent my time and my Money in Taverns Treating Houses Gaming Ordinaries and other extravagant Diversions of the like kind In short my â—athers Rage was so implacable He 'd have no such Cackling Gossips he said under his Roof He 'd not own such a Rebellious wretch any longer for his Son c. that in Conclusion I was e'en fain to march off with my Pullet and so Nestle in another place Where she brought me a brood by the way Pa. But where had you Money all this while Po. Why my Mother helpt me now and then by stealth besides considerable Sums that I borrow'd Eu. And were there any such Fools as would give you Credit Po. Why there are those that will trust a Spend-thrist sooner then an honester Man. Pa. Well! and what next Po. When my Friends saw my Father at last upon the very point of Dis-inheriting me they brought him to this Composition that I should renounce the French Woman and Marry one of our own Countrey Eu. Was she not your Wife Po. There had past some words in the Future Tense as I will Marry ye for the purpose but then to say the Truth there follow'd Carnal Copulation in the Present Tense or so Eu. And how could you dissolve that Contract then Po. Why it came out afterwards that my French Woman had a French Husband only she was gone away from him Eu. So that you have a Wife it seems Po. Yes yes I am now Marri'd to my Eighth Wife Eu. The Eighth do ye say Why then he that gave you the Name of Polygamus was a Prophet But they were all Barren perhaps Po. No no I have a
to joyn in Counsel and Society with those Illustrious Spirits that are gone before Thus far Cato What could a Christian have said more The Dialogue of this Aged Pagan with the Youth of his times will rise up in Judgment against many of our Monks with their Holy Virgins Eu. It will be objected that this Colloquy of Tully's was but a Fiction Ch. 'T is all one to me whether the honour be Cato's for the sense and expression of this Rapture or Cicero's for the Divinity of the Contemplation and the Excellency of representing his thoughts in words answerable to the Matter Tho' I 'm apt to think that although these very Syllables were not Cato's yet that his familiar Conversations were not far from this purpose Neither had Tully the Confidence to draw a Cato fairer then he was especially in a time when his Character was yet fresh in the Memories of all men Beside that such an Unlikeness in a Dialogue would have been a great indecorum and enough to have blasted the Credit of the Discourse Th. That which you say is very likely but let me tell you what came into my head upon your Recital I have often wonder'd with my self considering that long Life is the Wish and Death the Terrour of all Mortals that there is scarce any man so happy I do not speak of Old but of middle-ag'd-men but if it should be offer'd him to be young again if he would upon Condition of running the same Fortune over again of Good and Ill he would make the same Answer that Cato did especially passing a true reflection upon the mixture of his past Life For the remembrance even of the pleasantest part of it is commonly attended with shame and sting of Conscience insomuch that the Memory of past delights is more painful to us then that of past misfortunes Wherefore it was wisely done of the Antient Poets in the Fable of Lethe to make the Dead drink the Water of Forgetfulness before their Souls were affected with any desire of the Bodies they had left behind ' em Vr. It is a thing that I my self have observ'd in some Cases and well worthy of our Admiration But That in Cato which takes me the most is his Declaration that he did not repent himself of his past Life Where 's the Christian that lives to his Age and can say as much 'T is a common thing for men that have scrap'd Estates together by hook or by crcok to value themselves at their death upon the Industry and Success of their Lives But Cato's saying that he had not liv'd in vain was grounded upon the Conscience of having discharg'd all the Parts of an honest and a resolute Citizen and Patriot and untainted Magistrate and that he should transmit to Posterity the Monuments of his Integrity and Virtue I depart says he as out of a Lodging not a dwelling Place What could be more Divine I am here upon sufferance till the Master of the house says â—e gone A man will not easily be forc'd from his own Home but the fall of a Chimney the spark of a Coal and a thousand petty Accidents drive us out of this World or at the best the Structure of our Bodies falls to pieces with Old Age and moulders to Dust every moment admonishing us that we are to change our Quarters Nephalius That expression of Socrates in Plato is rather methinks the more significant of the Two. The Soul of a man says he is in the Body as in a Garison There 's no quitting of it without the leave of the Captain nor any longer staying in 't then during the pleasure of him that plac'd it there The Allusion of a Garison is much more Emphatical than that of a House For in the One is only imply'd an Abode and that perhaps an Idle one too whereas in the Other we are put upon Duty by our Governor And much to this purpose it is that the Life of Mâ—n in Holy Writ is one while called a Warfare and another while a Race Vr. But Cato's Speech methinks has some affinity with that of St. Paul 2 Cor. chap. 5. where he calls that Heavenly station which we look for after this Life in one place a House in another a Mansion and the Body he calls 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 or a Tabernacle For we also says he in this Tabernacle groan being burthened Neph So St. Peter 2. 1. And I think it meet says he as long as I am in this Tabernacle to stir ye up by putting you in mind being assured that I shall shortly put off this my Tabernaâ—le And what says Christ himself Mat. 24. Mar. 13. and Luke 21. That we should so live and Watch as if we were presently to Die and so apply our selves to honest things as if we were to live for ever Now who can hear these words of Cato Oh that glorious Day without thinking of St. Paul's I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Ch. How happy are they that wait for Death in in such a state of mind But yet in Cato's Speech tho' it be great there is more boldness and Arrogance in it methinks then would become a Christian No certainly never any Ethnique came nearer up to us then Socrates to Crito before he took his Poyson Whether I shall be approved or not in the sight of God I câ—â—not tell but this I am certain of that I have most affectionately en leavour'd to please him And I am in good hope that he will accept the Will for the Deed. This great mans diffidence in himself was yet so comforted by the Conscience of Pious Inclinations and an absolute Resignation of himself to the Divine Will that he deliver'd up himself in a dependence upon Gods Mercy and Goodness even for the Honesty of his Intentions Neph What a wonderful Elevation of Mind was this in a man that only Acted by the light of Nature I can hardly read the Story of this Worthy without a Sancte Socrates Ora pro nobis Saint Socrates pray for us and I have as much ado sometime to keep my self from wishing well to the Souls of Virgil and Horace But how distracted and fearful have I seen many Christians upon the last Extremity Some put their Trust in things not to be Confided in others breath out their Souls in desperation either out of a Conscience of their lewd Lives or some scruples perhaps injected into their thoughts by medling with indiscreet men at their dying hours Ch. And 't is no wonder to find those disorder'd at their Deaths who have spent their whole Lives in the Formality of Philosophizing about Ceremonies Neph What do you mean by Ceremonies Ch. I 'll tell ye but with this Protestation over and over before hand that I am so far from Condemning the Sacraments and Rites of the Church that I have them in high Veneration But there are a wicked and superstitious sort of People or in good Manners I
and get their livings with their fingers that they may have wherewithal to relieve others in necessity Are not these holy and warrantable Labours by which a Husband provides for his Wife and Children Ti. This is a question which in my opinion may be resolv'd several ways First This Text had a particular regard to those times when the Apostles being dispersed far and wide for the Promulgation of the Gospel they were to cast themselves upon Providence for their support without being sollicitous for it themselves having neither leisure to get their living by their labour nor any thing to trust to for it beside Fishing But the World is now at another pass and we are all for Ease Another way of expounding it may be this Christ has not forbid Industry but Anxiety of thought such as commonly possesses those men that are hard put to 't for a Livelihood and set all other things apart only to attend this This is intimated by our Saviour himself when he says that one man cannot serve two Masters For he that wholly delivers himself up to any thing is a Servant to 't Now tho' the Propagation of the Gospel ought to be our Chief yet it is not our only Care. For he says First not Only seek the Kingdom of Heaven and these things shall be added unto you The word To morrow I take to be Hyperbolical and to signifie a time to come Uncertain it being the Custom of the World to be scraping and sollicitous for Posterity Eu. Your Interpretation we allow of But what is his meaning when he says Nè solliciti sitis Animae vestrae quid Edalis The Body is Cloath'd but the Soul does not Eat Ti. By Anima is meant Life which cannot subsist without Meat This does not hold in our Garments which are more for Modesty than Necessity For a Body may live without Cloaths but without Meat it is certain Death Eu. I do not well understand how to reconcile this Passage with that which follows Is not the Life more then Meat and the Body more then Raiment For if Life be so precious we should take the more Care of it Ti. This Argument does rather encrease our trouble then lessen it Eu. But this is none of our Saviours meaning Who by this Argument creates in us a stronger Confidence in the Father for if a bountiful Father hath given us gratis that which is more valuable he will by a stronger reason confer upon us that which is Cheaper He that has give us Life will certainly give us Food He that has given us Bodies will not deny us Cloaths So that upon the experience of his Divine Bounty there is no reason why we should afflict our selves with any Anxiety of Thought for things below What remains then but that using this World as if we used it not we transfer our whole study and application to the love of Heavenly things and rejecting the World and the Devil with all their Vanities and Impostures we chearfully serve God alone who will never forsake his Children But here 's no body takes any Fruit 'T is a Scripture Dinner you have had for there was little care beforehand to provide it Ti. We have sufficiently pamper'd our Carcasses Eu. I should be glad that ye had satisfi'd your Souls Ti. That 's done I assure ye in a larger measure Eu. Take away Boy and bring some Water Now if you please we 'll wash and conclude with a Hymn out of Chrysostome And Pray'e let me be your Chaplain Glory be to thee O God O Holy O King as thou hast given us Meat for our Bodies so replenish our Souls with Ioy and Gladness in thy Holy Spirit that we may be found acceptable in thy sight and not be confounded when thou shalt come to render unto every man according to his Works Boy Amen Ti. A Pious and a most pertinenent Hymn Eu. Of St. Chrysostoms Translation too Ti. Where is it to be found Eu. In his Fifty sixth Homily upon St. Matthew Ti. God willing I 'll read it before I sleep But tell me one thing why these three Atributes of Lord Holy and King Eu. Because all honour is due to our Master and principally in these three respects We call him Lord as the Redeemer of us from the Tyranny of the Devil with his Holy Blood and taking us to himself We stile him Holy as the Sanctifier of all men and not only forgiving us all our sins gratis but by the Holy Spirit cloathing us with his Righteousness that we might follow Holiness And then King as heirs to a Heavenly Kingdom from him who sits and reigns himself at the Right hand of God the Father And all this we owe to his gratuitous Bounty that we have Iesus Christ for our Lord and not Satan that we have Innocence and Sanctity instead of the Filth and Uncleanness of our Sins and for the Torments of Hell the Joys of Life everlasting Ti. 'T is a very Godly discourse Eu. This is your first Visit Gentlemen and I must not dismiss ye without Presents but plain ones and suitable to your Entertainment Bring 'em out here Boy These are all of a Price that is to say they are of no value 'T is all one to me now whether you will draw Lots or chuse You will not find it Heliogabulus's Lottery for one to draw 100 Horses and another as many Flies Here are four little Books two Clocks a Lamp and a Standish which I suppose you will like better then either Balsoms Dentifrices or Looking-glasses Ti. They are all so good that there 's no place for a Preference but rather distribute them your self They 'll come the welcomer where they fall Eu. In this little Book are the Proverbs of Solomon in Parchment It teaches Wisdom and the Gilding is a Symbold of it This must be yours Timotheus that according to the Doctrine of the Gospel to him that has Wisdom shall Wisdom be given Ti. I will make it my study to stand in less need of it Eu. This Clock must be yours Sophronius for I know you count your hours and husband your time It came out of the farther part of Dalmatia and that 's all the Commendation I 'll give it Soph. 'T is a good way of advising a Sluggard to be diligent Eu. You have in this Book the Gospel of St. Matthew I would recommend it to be set with Diamonds if a sincere and candid Breast were not more precious Lay it up there Theophilus and be still more and more suitable to your name Th. I will endeavour to make such use of it that you may not think it ill bestow'd Eu. St. Paul's Epistles your constant Companions Eulalius are in this Book You have them often in your mouth which would not be if they were not also in your heart Hereafter keep 'em in your hand and in your eye Eu. This is a Gift with good Counsel over and above which is of all Gifts the most
a Mowing So. 'T is a kind of a Convulsive Distemper Ca. A Wonderful Metamorphosis From a Horseman to a Centaure and from a Centaure to an Insect a Kind of Creeper So. The Fortune of the War. Ca. Or the Madness of your Mind But what Spoils have you brought home for your Wife and Children The Leprosie I see for that Scab is only a Spice on 't and only priviledg'd from the Pest-House because 't is a Disease in Fashion For which very reason it should be the rather avoided This is now to be rubb'd upon the Face of your Poor Wife to whom instead of an Industrious Husband you have only brought back Innumerable Diseases and a Living Carkass So. Pray'e give over Chiding of me for I 'm miserable enough without it Ca. Nay This is the least part of your Calamity for your Soul is yet fouler than your Body more Putrid and Vlcer'd and yet more dangerously wounded So. It is more Unclean I do confess than a Publick Iakes Ca. But to God and his Angels it is still more Offensive So. If you have done wrangling pray'e think of some Relief to help me on in my Journey Ca. I have nothing my self to give you but I 'll speak to the Prior. So. But if any thing should be allow'd me will you receive it for me There are so many rubs in the way in Cases of this Nature Ca. Others may do as they please but I have no Hands either to give Money or to take it We 'll talk more on 't after Dinner for 't is now time to sit down THE Apotheosis of CAPNIO OR The Franciscan's Vision COL XI A Pleasant Relation of John Reuchlin's Ghost appearing to a Franciscan in a Dream and St. Jerome's coming to him and Cloathing him to take him up into Heaven With several Comical Circumstances that past upon the Way betwixt his Death and his Canonization or Ascension POMPILIUS BRASSICANUS Po. WHERE have you been with your Spatter-Lashes Br. At Tubingua Po. Have ye any News there Br. 'T is a wonderful thing that the World should run so strangely a madding after News I heard a Camel in a Pulpit at Louvain charge his Auditory upon their Salvation to have nothing to do with any thing that was New. Po. Thou mean'st a Carmelite but it was a Conceit indeed fit for a Camel Or if it were a Man by my Consent he should never change his Shoos his Linnen or his Breeches and I would have him dieted with Souce Musty Drink and Rotten Eggs. Br. But yet for all this you must know that the Good Man had rather have his Porrige Fresh than Stale Po. Prethee come to the Point and tell me what News Br. Nay I have News in my Budget too but News he says is a wicked thing Po. Well but that which is New will come to be Old. Now if all Old things be Good and all New things Bad that which is Good at present will hereafter be Bad and that which is now Bad will hereafter be Good. Br. According to the Doctrine of the Camel it must be so and a young wicked Fool will come to be an old good One. Po. But prethee let 's have the News whatever it is Br. The famous Triple-Tongued Phoenix of Erudition Iohn Reuchlin is departed this Life Po. For certain Br. Nay it is too certain Po. And where 's the hurt on 't for a Man to leave an Immortal Memory of his Name and Reputation behind him and so pass from this miserable World to the Seats of the Blessed Br. How do you know that to be the Case Po. It cannot be otherwise if his Death was answerable to his Life Br. And you 'd be more and more of that Opinion if you knew as much as I. Po. What 's that I pray Br. No no I must not tell ye Po. Why not Br. Because he that told me the thing made me promise Secrecy Po. Trust me upon the same Condition and upon my honest Word I 'll keep your Counsel Br. That same Honest Word has so oft deceived me But yet I 'll venture 't especially being a matter of such a quality that it is fit all good Men should know it There is a certain Franciscan at Tubinga a Man of singular Holiness in every Bodies Opinion but his own Po. The greatest Argument in the World of true Piety Br. If I should tell you his Name you 'd say as much for you know the Man. Po. Shall I guess at him Br. Do so Po. Hold your Ear then Br. Why Here 's no Body within hearing Po. But however for fashion sake Br. The very Man. Po. Nay ye may swear it for if he says it 't is a true as Gospel Br. Mind me then and I 'll give ye the naked Truth of the Story My Friend Reuchlin had a dangerous Fit of Sickness but not without some hope of Recovery neither What Pity 't is that so admirable a Man should ever grow Old Sicken or Dye One Morning I made my Franciscan a Visit to put off some trouble of thoughts by diverting my self in his Company for when my Friend was Sick do ye see I was Sick and I lov'd him as my own Father Po. As if ever any honest Man would have done otherwise Br. My Franciscan bad me chear up for Reuchlin says he is well What said I Is he well again so soon For but two days ago the Doctors despair'd of him Then satisfy your self says he for he 's so well that he shall never be Sick again The Tears stood in my Eyes and my Franciscan taking notice of it Pray'e be patient says he till I have told you all I have not seen the Man this week but I pray for him every day that goes over my head This very Morning after Mattins I threw my self upon my Bed and fell into a gentle pleasant Slumber Po. My mind gives me already there will come some good on 't Br. And yours is no ill Genius Methought I was standing by a little Bridge that led into a Meadow so wonderfully Fine what with the Emrald Verdure and freshness of the Trees and Grass the Infinite Beauty and variety of Flowers and the Fragrancy of all together that all the Fields on this side the River lookt dead blasted and withered in Comparison In the Interim while I was wholly taken up with this Prospect who should come by in a lucky hour but Reuchlin And as he pass'd he gave me in Hebrew his Blessing He was gotten above half over the Bridge before I was aware and as I was about to run up to him he lookt back and bade me stand off Your time says he is not yet come but five Years hence you are to follow me In the mean while be you a Witness and a Spectator of what 's done I put in a word here and ask'd him if Reuchlin was Cloth'd or Naked Alone or in Company He had nothing upon him says he but one Garment and
that was White and Shining like Damask and a very pretty Boy behind him with Wings which I took for his good Genius Po. Then he had no evil Genius with him Br. Yes the Franciscan told me he thought he had for there followed him a good way off certain Birds that were Black all over saving that when they spread their Wings they seemed to have a mixture of Feathers that were betwixt White and Carnation By their Colour and Cry one might have taken them for Pyes but that they were sixteen times as big and about the Size of Vultures They had Combs upon their Heads and a kind of Gorbelly'd Kites with Crooked Beaks and Tallons If there had been but three of them I should have taken them for Harpyes Po. And what did these Devils do Br. They kept their distance Chattering and Squalling at the Heroick Reuchlin and would certainly have set upon him if they durst Po. Why what hinder'd ' em Br. Reuchlin's turning upon 'em and making the Sign of the Cross at ' em Be gone says he ye cursed Fiends to a place that 's fitter for you You have work enough to do among Mortals but you have no Commission to meddle with me that am now listed in the Roll of Immortality The words were no sooner out of his Mouth says my Franciscan but these filthy Birds took their Flight and left such a Stink behind them that a Close-stool would have been Orange-flower-water to it and he swore that he would rather go to Hell than even snuff up such a Perfume again Po. A Curse upon these Pests Br. But hear what the Franciscan told me more While I was musing upon this St. Ierome says he was gotten close to the Bridge and saluted Reuchlin in these very Words God save thee my most Holy Companion I am commanded to conduct thee to the blessed Souls above as a Reward from the Divine Bounty of thy most pious Labours With that he took out a Garment and put it upon Reuchlin Tell me then said I in what Habit or Shape St. Ierome appear'd Was he so old as they Paint him Did he wear a Cowl or a Hat and the Dress of a Cardinal Or had he a Lyon for his Companion Nothing of all this said he but his Person was Comely and his Age was only such as carried Dignity with it without the Offence of any sort of Sluttery But what need had he there of a Lyon by his side as he is commonly Painted His Gown came down to his Heels as Transparent as Christal and of the same Fashion with that he gave to Reuchlin It was painted over with Tongues of three several Colours in imitation of the Ruby the Emerald and the Saphyre And beside the clearness of it the Order made it exceeding graceful Po. An intimation I suppose of the three Tongues that they profess'd Br. No doubt on 't for upon the very Borders of his Garments were the Characters of these three Languages in many Colours Po. Had Ierome no Company with him Br. No Company do ye say The whole Field swarm'd with Myriads of Angels that flew in the Air as thick as Atomes Pardon the meanness of the Comparison If they had not been as clear as the Glass there would have been no Heaven nor Earth to be seen Po. How glad am I now for poor Reuchlin But what followed Br. Ierome says he for Respects sake giving Reuchlin the Right hand and embracing him carry'd him into the Meadow and so up to the top of a Hill that was in the middle of it where they kiss'd and hugg'd one another again And now the Heavens open'd to a prodigious wideness and there appear'd a Glory so unutterable as made every thing else that pass'd for wonderful before to look Mean and Sordid Po. Cannot you give us some Representation of it Br. No How should I without seeing it But he that did see it assures me that the Tongue of Man is not able to express the very Dream of it And further that he would dye a thousand Deaths to see it over again tho it were but for one moment Po. Very good And how then Br. Out of this Overture there was let down a great Pillar of Fire which was both Transparent and very agreeable By the means of this Pillar Two Holy Souls embraced one another ascended to Heaven a Quire of Angels all the while accompanying them with so charming a Melody that the Franciscan says he is not able to think of the Delight of it without weeping And after this there followed an incomparable Perfume His Sleep or rather the Vision was no sooner over but he started up like a Mad-man and call'd for his Bridge and his Meadow without either speaking or thinking of any thing else and there was no perswading of him to believe that he was any longer in his Cell The Seniors of the Convent when they found the Story to be no Fable for 't is clear that Reuchlin dy'd at the very instant of this appearance to the Holy Man they unanimously gave Thanks to God that abundantly rewards good Men for their good Deeds Po. What have we more to do then but to enter this Holy Man's Name in the Kalender of our Saints Br. I should have taken care for that tho the Franciscan had seen nothing of all this And in Golden Letters too I 'll assure ye next to St. Ierome himself Po. And let me dye if I don't put him in my Book so too Br. And then I 'll set him in Gold in my little Chappel among the choicest of my Saints Po. If I had a Fortune to my Mind I 'd have him in Diamonds Br. He shall â—stand in my Library the very next to St. Ierome Po. And I 'll have him so in mine too Br. We live in an ungrateful World or else all People would do the same thing too that love Learning and Languages especially the Holy Tongues Po. Truly it is no more than he deserves But does it not a little stick in your Stomach that he 's not yet Canoniz'd by the Authority of the Bishop of Rome Br. I pray'e who Canoniz'd for that 's the word who Canoniz'd St. Ierome Paul the Virgin Mother Tell me whose Memory is more Sacred among all good Men those that by their eminent Piety and the Monuments of their Learning and good Life have entituled themselves to the Veneration of Posterity or Catherina Senensis for the purpose that was Sainted by Pius 2. in favour of the Order and City Po. You say true That 's the right Worship that 's paid voluntarily to the Merits of the Dead whose benefits will never be forgotten Br. And can you then deplore the Death of this Man If long Life be a Blessing he enjoy'd it he left immortal Monuments of his Virtue and by his good Works consecrated himself to Eternity He 's now in Heaven above the reach of misfortune and conversing with St. Ierome Po. But he
suffer'd a great deal tho in this Life Br. And yet St. Ierome suffer'd more 'T is a Blessing to be persecuted by wicked Men for being Good. Po. I confess it and St. Ierome suffered many Indignities from wicked Men for his Virtues Br. That which Satan did formerly by the Scribes and Pharisees against our Saviour he continues still to do by Pharisees against Good Men that have deserved well from the World by their Studies He does now reap the Fruit of the Seed that was Sow'd In the mean time it will be our part to preserve his memory Sacred to glorify him and to address to him in some such manner as follows Holy Soul be Propitious to Languages and to those that Cultivate and Refine them Favour Holy Tongues and destroy Evil Tongues that are infected with the Poyson of Hell. Po. I 'll do 't my self and perswade all my Friends to do 't I make no question but we shall find those that will employ their interest to get some little Form of Prayer according to Custom to perpetuate the Honour and Memory of this blessed Hero. Br. Do you mean that which they call a Collect Po. Yes Br. I have one ready that I provided before his Death Po. I pray'e let 's hear it Br. O God that art the Lover of Mankind and by thy chosen Servant John Reuchlin hast renewed to Mankind the Gift of Tongues by which thy Holy Spirit from above did formerly enable the Apostles for the Preaching of the Gospel Grant that all People may in all Tongues Preach the Glory of thy Son to the confounding of the Tongues of the false Apostles who being in Confederacy to uphold the wicked Tower of Babel endeavour to obscure thy Glory by advancing their own when to thee alone is due all Glory c. Po. A most Elegant and Holy Prayer And it shall be my daily one How happy was this Occasion to me that brought me to the knowledg of so Edifying and so Delightful a Story Br. May that Joy last long too and so Farewel THE FUNERAL COL XII In the differing Ends of Belearicus and Montius here is set forth the Vanity Pomp and Superstition of the Funerals of some Rich and Worldly Men With the Practices of too many of the Monks upon them in their Extremities As also how a Good Christian ought to demean himself when he comes to Dye MARCOLPHUS PHAEDRUS Ma. WHY 〈◊〉 go Matters Phaedrus Thou look'st methinks as if thou hadst been eaten and spew'd up again Ph. Why so I beseech ye Ma. So sad so sowre so ghastly so forlorn a Wight Thou hast not one bit of Phaedrus about thee Phaed. What can you expect better from one that has been so many days among the Sick the Dying and the Dead You might as well wonder to see a Black-Smith or a Chimney-Sweeper with a dirty Face Well Marcolphus Two such Losses are enough to put any Man out of Humour Ma. Have you buri'd any of your Friends then Ph. You knew George Balearicus Ma. Only his Name but I never saw his Face Ph. He 's one and Cornelius Montius the other my very particular Friend but he I suppose was wholly a Stranger to you Ma. It was never my Fortune yet to see any Man breathe his last Ph. But it has been mine too often if I might have had my wish Ma. Pray'e tell me is Death so Terrible as they make it Ph. The Way to 't is worse than the Thing it self for the Apprehension is the greatest part of the Evil. Beside that our Resignation to the Will of God makes all the Bitterness as well of Sickness as of Death casy to us There can be no great Sense of any thing in the Instant of the Souls leaving the Body For before it comes to that point the Faculty it self is become Dull and Stupid and commonly laid asleep Ma. What do we feel when we 're Born Ph. The Mother feels something however if we do not Ma. Why would not Providence let us go out of the World as smoothly as we came into 't Ph. Our Birth is made painful to the Mother to make the Child dearer to her and Death is made formidable to Mankind to deter us from laying violent Hands upon our Selves for if so many make away themselves as the case stands already what would they do if the dread of Death were taken away If a Servant or a Child were but corrected a Family-quarrel started a Sum of Money lost or any thing else went Cross Men would presently repair to Halters Swords Rivers Preciplces Poysons for their Relief It is the Terror of Death that makes us set the greater value upon Life especially considering that there 's no Redemption for the Dead are out of the reach of the Doctor Now so it is that we do not all either come into the World or go out of it alike Some dye sooner others later some one way some another A Lethargy takes a Man away without any Sense of Death as if he were Stung with an Asp he goes off in 's Sleep Or be it as it will There is no Death so Tormenting but that a Man may overcome it with Resolution Ma. Pray'e tell me which of your two Friends bore his Fate the most like a Christian Ph. Why truely in my Opinion George dy'd the more like a Man of Honour Ma. Is there any Sense of Ambition then when we come to that Point Ph. I never saw two People make such different Ends. If you 'll give it the Hearing I 'll tell you the Story and leave you to judge which was likest a Christian. Ma. Let 's have it I beseech ye for I have the greatest mind in the World to hear 't Ph. I 'll begin with my Friend George So soon as ever it could be certainly known that his Hour was drawing on the Physitians that had attended him throughout his Sickness gave to understand the Pains they had taken and that there was matter of Money in the Case but not a Word of the Despair they had of his Life Ma. How many Physitians might there be Ph. Sometimes Ten sometimes Twelve but never under Six Ma. Enow in all Conscience to have done the Business of a Man in perfect Health Ph. Their Money was no sooner paid but they privately hinted to some of his near Relations that his Death was at hand and advis'd them to take the best Care they could for the good of his Soul for his Body was past hope This was handsomely intimated by some of his particular Friends to George himself desiring him that he would remit the Business of his Life to Providence and turn his Thoughts now toward the Comforts of another World. Upon this News George cast many a soure Look at the Physitians taking it very heinously that they should now leave him in his distress They told him that Physitians were but Men not Gods and that they had done as much as Art could do to save
Balbinus tho it should take up two Years if you can depend upon your Art. To shorten the Story They came to an Agreement and presently fell to work privately in the House of Balbinus Upon these Conditions That the One should do the Work the Other be at the Charge and the Profit to be equally divided tho the Modest Impostor of his own accord gave Balbinus the Benefit that came of it There was enterchang'd an Oath of Privacy after the manner of those that are initiated into Mysterious Secrets And now the Money is immediately laid down for Pots Glasses Coals and other Provisions for the furnishing of a Laboratory and there our Chymist has his Wenches his Gamesters and his Bottles where he very fairly consumes his Allowance Ph. This is one way however of changing the Species of things Ph. Balbinus pressing him to fall on upon the Main Bus'ness Do not you understand says he that what 's Well begun is half done 'T is a great Work to get a good Preparation of Materials After a time he set himself upon the Building of a Furnace and Here there must be more Gold again which was given only as a Bait for more to come As One Fish is taken with Another so the Chymist must cast Gold In before he gets Gold Out In the mean while Balbinus keeps Close to his Arithmetick If Four Ounces says he brings Fifteen what will be the Product of Two Thousand When This Money was gone and two Months spent the Philosopher pretended to be wonderfully taken up about the Bellows and the Coals And when Balbinus askt him how the Work went forward he stood directly Mute But upon Redoubling the Question Why says he as all great Works do the main difficulty is the Entrance upon them And then he picks a Quarrel with the Coal Here they have brought Oak says he instead of Beech or Hazle And there was a Hundred Crowns lost that supply'd him with more Dicing-Money Upon giving him New Cash he provided New Coals and then fell to 't again harder than before As a Soldier that has had a Disaster by Mischance repairs it by his Virtue When the Laboratory had been kept warm for some Months and that they expected the Golden Fruit and that there was not so much as one grain of Gold in the Vessels for the Chymist had wasted all that too there was another obstruction found out The Glasses they made use of were not of the Right Temper for as every Block will not make a Mercury so every Glass will not make Gold. The further he was In the lother he was to give it off Ph. That 's the right humour of Gamesters as if they had not better lose some than all La. 'T is just so The Chymist he swears that he was never cheated since he was born before but now he has found out the mistake he 'l see to the securing of all for the future and to the making good of this miscarriage with Interest The Glasses are chang'd and the Shop now a third time new furnish'd The Philosopher told him that the Oblation of some Crowns to the Virgin Mother might probably draw a Blessing upon the Work for the Art being sacred it needed the favour of the Saints to carry it on with success This advice exceedingly pleas'd Balbinus being a Man of great Piety and one that never past a day without performing his Devotions The Alchymist undertook the Religious Office but went no further than the next Town where the Virgin 's Money went away in Tipple Upon his Return he seem'd to have great hope that all would be well for the Virgin he said was wonderfully Delighted with the Offering After a long time spent upon the Project and not one Crumb of Gold appearing Balbinus Reasoning the Matter with him he protested that in all his days he was never thus disappointed That for his Method it was impossible That should deceive him and that he could not so much as imagin what should be the reason of this Failing After they had beat their heads a long time about it Balbinus be thought himself askt him if he had never mist Chappel some day or other since this undertaking or mist saying of the Horary Prayers as they call them which might be sufficient perhaps to defeat the whole Work. You have hit the Bird in the Eye says the Quack Wretch that I am for I do now call to mind that I have once or twice forgotten my self and that lately rising from Dinner I went may way without saying the salutation of the Virgin. Why then says Balbinus 't is no wonder that this great Affair succeeds no better Whereupon the Chymist engages himself to hear Twelve Services for the Two that he had omitted and for that one Salutation to become answerable for Ten. This lavish Aichymist came to want money again and when he had no pretext left him for the asking of more he bethought himself of this Project he went home like a man distracted and crying out with a lamentable Voice Oh! Balbinus I am undone utterly undone My Life 's at stake This amazed Balbinus and made him extreamly impatient to know what was the matter Oh! says the Chymist our design has taken Air they have gotten an Inkling of it at Court and I expect every hour to be carried away to Prison This put Balbinus into a fit too He turn'd as Pale as ashes for you know 't is Capital with us for any man to practice Chymistry without the Princes License Not says he that I apprehend my being put to death for I should be glad it were no worse but there is a greater Cruelty that I fear which is says he upon Balbinus's asking him the Question I shall be carried away into some remote Prison and be forced there to spend my Life in working for those People I have no mind to serve Is there any Death now that a man would not rather chuse than such a Life The matter was then debated and Balbinus that was a man well skill'd in Rhetorick cast his thoughts every way to see if it were possible to avoid this Mischief Cann't ye deny the Crime says he Not possibly says the other for the thing is known at Court and they have Infallible Proof on 't and there 's no defending of the Fact for the Law is point blank against it When they had turn'd it every way without finding any shift that would hold water at last We apply our selves says the Alchymist that wanted present money to slow Counsels Balbinus when the matter requires an immediate remedy It will not be long before I am seiz'd and carried away and seeing Balbinus at a stand I am as much at a loss says he as you for we have nothing now to Trust to but to fall like men of Honour unless we should make Tryal of this one Experiment which in truth is rather Profitable than Honest but Necessity is a hard Chapter Your
upon ye another fell foul upon your Family this man spake or t'other man wrote something to your Dishonour and here 's a ground for the denouncing of a War without Quarter but then you must breath nothing but destruction fire and Sword and That Naturally brings the Matter to a Composition Be sure then that ye do not sink below your Dignity and you must ask out of Reason to bring them up to 't If you demand Three thousand Crowns the Devil 's in 'em if they oâ—â—er ye less than Two hundred Ha. I and I can threaten Others with the Law. Ne. That is not so Generous tho' but yet it may help in some degree But hark ye Harpalus we have forgotten the Main point Some Young Wench or Other with a Good Fortune might be handsomly drawn methinks into the Noose of Matrimony and you carry a Philtre about with ye a Young Spruce Drolling Grinning Rascal Let it be given out that you 're call'd away to some great Office in the Emperors Court the Girls are mad upon Coupling with the Nobility Ha. I know some that have made their Fortunes this way But what if all this Roguery should come out now my Creditors fall upon the Back of me and your Imaginary Knight come to have Rotten Eggs thrown at him For a man had better be taken Robbing of a Church thaâ—â— in the Course of such a Cheat. Ne. In this Case you must put on the Brazen face I told ye of And I 'le tell ye This for your Comfort that Impuâ—ence never past so current for Wisdom since the Creation of the World as it does at This Day You must betake your self to your Invention and tell your Tale as well as ye can ye shall find some Fools or other that will favour it Nay and some that out of pure Candor and Civility tho' they understand the Abuse will yet make the best on 't But for your Last Refuge shew a Fair Pair of Heels for 't thrust your self into a Battle or a Tumult for as the Sea covers all Mischiefs so War covers all Sins And the Truth of it is he that has not been train'd up in This School is not fit to be a Commander Here 's your Sanctuary when all fails and yet let me advise ye to turn every Stone before you come to 't Many a Man is Undone by Security Wherefore have a Care of Little damn'd Towns that a man cannot let a Fart in but the people presently take the Alarm In Great and Populous Cities a body is more at Liberty unless it be in such a place as Marseilles Make it your bus'ness to know what the People say of ye If ye hear that they come to talk at This rate what does This man Here so long Why does not he go Home again and look after his Castles with a Pox What does he talk to us of his Pedigree I wonder how the Devil he Lives These are Bugg-words and if you find this humour once to grow upon the People up with your Baggage and be jogging before it be too late But you must make your Retreat like a Lion not like a Hare You are call'd away by the Emperor to take Possession of a great Charge and it will not be long perhaps before they see you again at the Head of an Army Those that have any thing to lose will be quiet enough when y' are gone but of all People have a care of your Peevish Malitious Poets They throw their Venom upon their Paper and what they write is as Publick as the Air. Ha. Let me dye if I be not strangely pleas'd with thy Counsel and you shall never Repent ye either of your Scholar or of your Obligation The first good Horse that I take up upon my Patent of Knighthood shall be yours Ne. Be as good as your word now But what is the Reason that you should so strangely dote upon a false Opinion of Nobility Ha. Only because they are in a manner Lawless and do what they please And is not This a Considerable Inducement Ne. When all comes to all you owe a Death to Nature tho' you liv'd a Carthusian and he that dies of the Stone the Gout or the Palsie had better have been broken upon the Wheel 'T is an Article of a Souldiers Faith that after Death there remains Nothing of a Man but his Carcass Ha. And That 's my Opinion THE Seraphique Funeral COL XX. A Bitter Discourse upon the Habit Life Opinions and Practices of the Franciscans Their Institution and the Blasphemous Fundamentals of Their Order THEOTIMUS PHILECOUS Ph. WHy where have you been Theotimus that ye look so wonderfully Grave and Devout Th. How so Ph. You look so severe methinks with your Eyes upon the Ground your Head upon your left shoulder and your Beads in your hand Th. My Friend if you have a mind to know a thing that does not belong to ye I have been at a Shew Ph. Iacob Hall perhaps or the Iugler Or some such business it may be Th. 'T is somewhat thereabouts Ph. Y 're the first Man sure that ever brought such an Humour back from a Publique Spectacle Th. But This was such a Spectacle let me tell ye that if you your self had been a Spectator you would have been more out of Order perchance than I am Ph. But why so extreamly Religious I pre'thee on a sudden Th. I have been at the Funeral of a Seraphim Ph. Nay Pray'e tell me do the Angels die Th. No but Angels Fellows do But to put ye out of your pain you know Eusebius I suppose a famous and a Learned Man. Ph. What do you mean Eusebius the Pelusian he that was First degraded from his Authority to the state of a Private man and of a Private man made an Exile and of an Exile within a little of a Begger I had like to have said worse Th. That 's the Man. Ph. But what 's come to him Th. He 's This day Bury'd and I am just now come from his Funeral Ph. It must needs be a doleful Business sure to put you into this dismal mood Th. I shall never be able to tell ye the Story without weeping Th. Nor I to hear it without Laughing But let 's have it however Th. You know that Eusebius hath been a long time Infirm Ph. Yes yes he has not been a Man this many a year Th. In these Slow and Consumptive Diseases 't is a Common thing for a Physician to foretell a man how long he shall live to a precise day Ph. It is so Th. They told their Patient that all that the Art of man could do towards his preservation had been done already and that God might preserve him by a Miracle but that he was absolutely past all Relief of Physick and according to humane Conjecture he had not above three days to Live. Ph. And what follow'd Th. The Wasted Body of the Excellent Eusebius was presently drest up in a
Litter at Home by every one of them Eu. So many Hens with Eggs in the stead of them would be a happy Change. But you have enough of Wiving sure by this time Po. So much that if my Eighth Wife should die to day I 'de take a ninth to morrow Nay 't is hard in my opinion that a Man may not be allow'd as many Wives as a Cock has Hens Eu. 'T is no wonder at your rate of Whoreing and Drinking to see you brought to a Skeleton and an Old man before your Time. But who maintains your Family all this while Po. Why betwixt a small Estate that my Father left me and my own hard Labour I make a shift to keep Life and Soul together Eu. You have given over your Study then Po. I have e'en brought a Nâ—ble to Nine-pence and all I have to trust to is to make the best of a bad Game Eu. I wonder how thou hast been able to bear so many Mournings and the loss of so many Wives Po. I never lived a Widower above ten days and the next Wife still blotted out the Memory of the last I have given you here a very honest and a true Abstract of my Life I wish Pampirus here would but tell his Story as frankly as I have done mine He bears his Age well enough I perceive and yet I take him to be two or three years my Senior Pa. I shall make no difficulty of that if you can have Patience for so wild and Phantastical a Romance Eu. Never talk of Patience to hear what we have a Mind to hear PAMPIRVS I was no sooner return'd from Paris but the good Old man my Father prest me earnestly to enter into some Course of Life that might probably advance my Fortune and upon a full Consideration of the matter it was concluded I should betake my self to the business of a Merchant Po. I cannot but wonder Why that choice rather than any other Pa. Why I was naturally curious to know New things to see several Countries and famous Cities to learn Languages and to inform my self in the Customs and Manners of Men. Now thought I this is no way better to be compassed then by Negotiation and Commerce besides a general understanding of things that goes along with it Po. Well! But Gold it self may be bought too dear Pa. It may so but to be short My Father put a good Sum of Money into my hand to begin the World withal Wish'd me good Luck with it and gave me his Blessing At the same time he laid out for a Rich Wife for me and pitch'd upon so Virtuous and so Amiable a Creature that she would have been a Fortune in her very Smock to any honest Man. Eu. Well! But was it a Match at last Pa. No for before ever I could get back again Vse and Principal was all lost Eu. Wrack'd I suppose Pa. Yes yes Wrack'd we struck upon the what d' ye call the Rock Eu. The Malta perchance for that 's a desperate Passage Pa. No no this is forty times worse But it is somewhat like it however Eu. Do ye remember the Name of the Sea Pa. No but it is a place infamous for a thousand Miscarriages Pray by your Leave Is there a dangerous Rock they call ALEA I don't know your Greek name fort 't Eu. Mad Fool that thou wert Pa. So and what was my Father I prethee to trust a young Fop with such a gobb of Money But it was in fine the Rock ALEA Anglicé The Devils Bones that I was split upon Gl. And what did you do next Pa. Why I began Providently to consider of a convenient Beam and Halter to hang my self Gl. Was your Father so implacable then For such a loss might be made up again and the first fault must be very foul not to be Pardonable Pa. Why you have Reason perhaps But in the mean while the poor Man lost his pretty Mistress for so soon as ever her Relations came to understand what they were to trust to they resolv'd to have nothing more to do with me Now I was in Love you must know over Head and Ears Gl. In troth I Pitty thee with all my heart But what did you propose to your self after this Pa. Only to do as other people do in desperate Cases My Father had cast me off my Fortune was irrecoverably lost and consequently my Wife and the best Treatment I could get in the World was to be pointed at for a Debauche squandring Sot. Without more words it was e'en come to Cross or Pile whether I should take up in a Cloyster or hang my self Eu. You were cruelly put to 't But I presume you had the Wit to pitch upon the easier Death of the two Pa. Or rather the more painful so Sick was I even of Life it self Gl. And yet many people cast themselves into Monasteries as the most comfortable State of living Pa. Well! The first thing I did was to put a little Money in my Pocket and fly my Countrey Gl. Whether went ye Pa. Into Ireland and there was I made a Regular of that Order that wears Linnen above and Woollen to the Skin-ward Gl. Did you spend your Winter there Pa. No no two Months only and then for Scotland Gl. How came it you staid no longer Did you take Check at any thing Pa. The Discipline was not severe enough methought for a Wretch that hanging it self would have been too good for Eu. And how went Matters with you in Scotland Pa. I e'en chang'd my Linnen Habit for a Leathern one among the Carthusians Eu. These are the Men that are in strictness of Profession dead to the World. Pa. So methought by their Singing Gl. Are the dead so merry then But how many Months were you there Pa. Betwixt five and six Gl. A strange Constancy to hold so long in a mind Eu. You took no offence at any thing among the Carthusians did ye Pa. I could not like so Lazy a froward sort of Life And then what with Fumes and Solitude I phancy'd several of 'em to be Hot-headed and for my part having but little Sense already I durst not stay for fear of loosing the rest Po. Whither did you take your next flight Pa. Into France among those that give to understand by the Colour of their Habits that they are Mourners in this World. I speak of the Benedictines and of those particularly that wear a kind of a Netted Hair-Cloth for their upper Garment Gl. A terrible Mortification of the Flesh I must Confess Pa. I was among them eleven Months Eu. And how came you to leave 'em at last Pa. Why I found they layd more stress upon Ceremonies then True Piety And then I was told that the Bernardines were a much more conscientious Order and under a severer Discipline Those I mean that are Habited in White instead of Black. I went and liv'd a matter of Ten Months among These too Eu. And what Dusgusted