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A36301 Paradoxes, problemes, essayes, characters written by Dr. Donne, dean of Pauls ; to which is added a book of epigrams ; written in Latin by the same author ; translated into English by J. Maine D.D. ; as also, Ignatius his Conclave, a satyr, translated out of the originall copy written in Latin by the same author, found lately amongst his own papers. Donne, John, 1572-1631.; Mayne, Jasper, 1604-1672. 1652 (1652) Wing D1867; ESTC R1266 68,704 226

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scolding wife in a Painters shop Dialog Painter whose face is that I see Thy wives Alas I fear t is she Just so her scolding eyes do burn And Brow doth into wrincles turn I tremble at her sharp nose so Her frighting chin doth pointed grow All parts are so drawn to the life Methinks the picture like my wise Begins to brawl and kindle strife 17. Another Say Painter who 's this whom thy hand hath made Thy wife who dost enquire at least her shade 'T is so yet Painter I had cause to doubt Seeing her Tongue her most known part left out 18. Another Who 's this Painter Thy wife O That she were in earnest so 19. Another Venus when Pygmalion praid Chang'd a Statue to a Maid Whose cold Marble drunk warm bloud If at my request she would My wife into Marble turn I would white Doves to her burn 20. Upon a Pipe of Tobacco mis-taken by the Author for the Tooth-ach Outlandish Weed whilst I thy vertues tell Assist me Bedlam Muses come from Hell 21. Another An Hearb thou art but useless for made fire From hot mouths puft thou dost in fumes expire 22. Another A cloud Ixion for a Goddess kist So thou thy Lovers cosen'st with a mist. 23. To the Tobacco-seller Merchant of Smoke when next thou mak'st a feast Invite some starv'd Chamelion to be guest 24. Another Lothings stincks thirst rhumes aches and catarrh Base weed thy vertues that 's thy poysons are 25. Another I love thee not nor thou me having tri'd How thy scorcht Takers are but Takers fry'd 26. Another Niggards till dead are Niggards so vile weed Thy bounty from thy ashes doth proceed 27. Upon a Town built in the place where a wood grew From whence 't is called Dukes-Wood or the Burse A Wood into fair buildings chang'd we see And th' Oke stands City where 't was fel'd a tree 28. Another Falne Okes the Axe doth into Timber hew And a Town stands where Trees demolisht grew 29. Another From a Woods ruines did these Buildings rise And it stood Grove where now it Rafters lies 30. Another This naked Beam which beares up Roofes from ground Was once with branches fair green top crown'd 31. Another Wood yeelds to stone boughs are made joyces here And where a Cops stood now fair streets appeare 32. Upon a navigable River cut through a Town built out of a Wood. Horsmen turn sailers waves roll where grew woods And against Nature Art make ways through floods 33. Another The drownd land here a Crystall garment wears And her own trees made Barges once more bears 34. Another The tree her womb-bred on the back now floats Of this o're-flown field now in wandring Boats 35. Another The ground whose head was once enricht with Okes Her Temples now steept in sea-water sokes 36. Another The place where once grew Ash for warlike spears The Maze makes drunk now with his brinish tears 37. Upon the Medows over-flown there The Medows which their perfum'd locks did boast Ore-flown with waters have their perfumes lost 38. Another The hungry Cow here lately did mistake And seeking grasse was cosen'd with a lake 39. Another Here Fishes dwell till now not us'd to fields And pasture ground here sportful Gudgeons yeelds 40. Another Mere pleasant fields drownd by the wandring Maze See scaly flocks swim where once sheep did graze 41. Another Dukes-wood where once thick bushes did appear Like a new Iland now stands in a meer 42. Upon a piece of ground ore-flown where once a Leaguer quartered Here where Tents stood Mars now to Neptune yeelds And Sea-nymphs tread moist dances ore the fields 43. Another Fishes now quarter where pavilions stood And the smooth Tench dies the sharp hook with blood 44. Another Finn'd Soldiers here in Belgick Quarters jar And the fierce Pike in troubled streams makes war 45. Another Dutchman This Grove once hatcht the Warlick Speer Which angry Perches on their backs now wear 46. Another Gudgeons where soldiers lay ly trencht in Sand Fearing the bloudie Colours of the Land 47. A Dutch Captain of Foot having with his Soldiers entred a Breach and there a while fought valiantly with a Two-handed Sword In the very point of Victory being mortally wounded spake thus I fighting die How much more blest then they Whom a blind shot doth standing idle slay 48. Another We 've conquer'd Boys My wounds I highly rate When with such Honor they requite my fate 49. Another Thus conquering kild my ashes triumphs gain And make me wish thus to be often slain 50. Another I die well paid whilst my expiring breath Smiles ore the Tombs of foes made kin by death 51. Another Me the queld Spaniard to the next world sent Not unreveng'd his Troops before me went 52. His Will Let Heaven my soul the foe my life the grave My corps my fame let my sav'd Countrey have 53. To the Prince of Aurange on his famous Victory over the Spaniards in Dukes-Wood Now Golden Fruit Prince hang on Dukes-wood Boughes Since it with Lawrell crown'd thy conquering Browes 54. Another Holland and Aurange may their Conquest boast Of the quell'd Spaniard but brave Aurange most 55. Another Spaniard no more call Golden Fleeces thine Since the bright name of Aurange doth more shine 56. A Panegyrick on the Hollanders being Lords of the Sea Occasioned by the Authors being in their Army at Dukes-wood Heathen No more thy Neptune boast Here see A Neptune more Lord of the sea then Hee Whom fruitfull Holland feeds Holland Sea-bred And neighbouring Zealand folds in watry bed Neptune's a Dutch God Here his wandrings stay And his calm'd ragings con●…ring chains obey His standing Flood here to the Bridle yeilds And his fierce Torrent plaies through unknown fields Here the swoln sea views the inferiour ground And yet no green bush even to wonder drownd Whilst Billows like huge mountains do hang o're The pleasing Vales which creep along the shore Banks hold waves captive and through sluces free And Glebes from watry prisons snatcht we see Glebes which were long of sun and skie bereav'd Now the Dutch Plowman sees wel cornd sheav'd Curbing the Ocean with stout Mounds and Bars And with the salt Gods of it waging VVars Making Art fetch from the deep 's rav'nous womb Pastures lost towns and houses In which swomm Shell'd Citizens ' mongst pillars drencht in brine Should Achelous here joyn strengths with thine And wrestle for the conquest Holland here Each Drayner would a Hercules appear And cosening Art with Art in these dry'd Plains Would bind the oft shape-changing God in chains The oft tam'd Maze here the Dutch yoke endures And his fear'd Master to the VValls secures Of the sam'd Burse now Dutchman fear no harms VVhen against neighbouring Cities seas take arms The Oceans thine with thee his waves have sworn The league which Philip broke By him th' art born To the parcht Indians and those lands of gold Which the proud Tyrant doth in bondage
that ridling humour of Iealousie which seeks and would not finde which requires and repents his knowledg is in them most common yet most fantastike Yea that which falls never in young men is in them most fantastike and naturall that is Covetousnesse even at their journeys end to make great provision Is any habit of young men so fantastike as in the hottest seasons to be double-gowned or hooded like our Elders Or seemes it so ridiculous to weare long haire as to weare none Truely as among the Philosophers the Skeptike which doubts all was more contentious then either the Dogmatick which affirmes or Academike which denies all so are these uncertain Elders which both cals them fantastick which follow others inventions and them also which are led by their own humorous suggestion more fantastick then other VIII That Nature is our Worst Guid. SHall she be guide to all Creatures which is her self one Or if she also have a guide shall any Creature have a better guide then we The affections of lust and anger yea even to err is natural shall we follow these Can she be a good guide to us which hath corrupted not us only but her self was not the first Man by the desire of knowledge corrupted even in the whitest integrity of Nature And did not Nature if Nature did any thing infuse into him this desire of knowledge and so this corruption in him into us If by Nature we shall understand our essence our definition or reason nobleness then this being alike common to all the Idiot and the Wizard being equally reasonable why should not all men having equally all one nature follow one course Or if we shall understand our incli nations alas how unable a guide is that which follows the temperature of our slimie bodies for we cannot say that we derive our inclinations our minds or souls from our Parents by any way to say that it is all from all is error in reason for then with the first nothing remains or is a part from all is error in experience for then this part equally imparted to many children would like Gavel-kind lands in few generations become nothing or to say it by communication is error in Divinity for to communicate the ability of communicating whole essence with any but God is utter blasphemy And if thou hit thy Fathers nature and inclination he also had his Fathers and so climbing up all comes of one man and have one nature all shall imbrace one course but that cannot be therefore our complexions and whole bodies we inherit from Parents our inclinations and minds follow that For our minde is heavy in our bodies afflictions and rejoyceth in our bodies pleasure how then shall this nature governe us that is governed by the worst part of us Nature though oft chased away it will return 't is true but those good motions and inspirations which be our guides must be wooed courted and welcomed or else they abandon us And that old Axiome nihil invita c. must not be said thou shalt but thou wilt doe nothing against Nature so unwilling he notes us to curbe our naturall appetites Wee call our bastards alwayes our naturall issue and we define a Foole by nothing so ordinary as by the name of naturall And that poore knowledg whereby we conceive what rain is what wind what thunder we call Metaphysicke supernaturall such small things such no things do we allow to our pliant Natures apprehension Lastly by following her we lose the pleasant and lawfull commodities of this life for we shall drinke water and eate rootes and those not sweet and delicate as now by Mans art and industry they are made we shall lose all the necessities of societies lawes arts and sciences which are all the workemanship of Man yea we shall lack the last best refuge of misery death because no death is naturall for if yee will not dare to call all death violent though I see not why sicknesses be not violences yet causes of all deaths proceed of the defect of that which nature made perfect and would preserve and therefore all against nature IX That only Cowards dare die EXtreames are equally removed from the meane so that headlong desperatenesse asmuch offends true valour as backward Cowardice of which sort I reckon justly all un-inforced deaths When will your valiant man die of necessity so Cowards suffer what cannot be avoided and to run into death unimportun'd is to run into the first condemned de sperateness Will he die when he is rich and happie then by living he may do more good and in afflictions and miseries death is the chosen refuge of Cowards Fortiter ille facit qui miser esse potest But it is taught and practised among our Gallants that rather than our reputations suffer any maim or we any misery we shall offer our breasts to the Cannons mouth yea to our swords points And this seems a very brave and a very climbing which is a Cowardly earthly and indeed a very groveling spirit vvhy do they chain these slaves to the Gallies but that they thrust their deaths and would at every loose leap into the Sea vvhy do they take weapons from condemned men but to barr them of that ease which Cowards affect a speedy death Truely this life is a tempest and a warfare and he which dares die to escape the anguish of it seems to me but so valiant as he which dares hang himself least he be prest to the wars I have seen one in that extremity of Melancholy which was then become madness to make his own breath an Instrument to stay his breath and labour to choak himself but alas he was mad And we knew another that languished under the oppression of a poor disgrace so much that he took more pains to die then would have served to have nourished life and spirit enough to have out-liv'd his disgrace vvhat Fool will call this Cowardlyness Valour or this Baseness Humility And lastly of these men which die the Allegoricall death of entring into Religion how few are found fit for any shew of valiancy but onely a soft and supple metal made only for Cowardly solitariness X. That a Wise Man is known by much laughing RIdi si sapis ô puella ride If thou beest wise laugh for since the powers of discourse reason and laughter be equally proper unto Man only why shall not he be only most wise which hath most use of laughing as well as he which hath most of reasoning and discoursing I always did and shall understand that Adage Per risum multum possis cognoscere stultum That by much laughing thou maist know there is a fool not that the laughers are fools but that among them there is some fool at whom wise men laugh which moved Erasmus to put this as his first Argument in the mouth of his Folly that she made Beholders laugh for fools are the most laughed at and laugh the least themselves of any
refuse to be used to that end for which they were only made The Ape bringeth forth her young for the most part by twins that which she loves best she killeth by pressing it too hard so foolish maids soothing themselves with a false conceit of vertue in fond obstinacie live and die maids and so not onely kill in themselves the vertue of Virginity and of a Vertue make it a Vice but they also accuse their parents in condemning marriage If this application hold not touch yet there may be an excellent one gathered from an Apes tender love to Conies in keeping them from the Weasel and Ferret From this similitude of an Ape an old Maid did the foresaid proverb first arise But alas there are some old Maids that are Virgins much against their wills and fain would change their Virgin-life for a Married such if they never have had any offer of fit Husbands are in some sort excusable and their willingnesse their desire to marry and their forbearance from all dishonest and unlawfull copulation may be a kind of inclination to vertue although not Vertue it selfe This Vertue of Virginity though it be small and fruitlesse it is an extraordinary and no common Vertue All other Vertues lodge in the Will it is the Will that makes them vertues But it is the unwillingnesse to keep it the desire to forsake it that makes this a vertue As in the naturall generation and formation made of the seed in the womb of a woman the body is joynted and organized about the 28 day and so it begins to be no more an Embrion but capable as a matter prepared to its form to receive the soule which faileth not to insinuate and innest it selfe into the body about the fortieth day about the third month it hath motion and sense Even so Virginity is an Embrion an unfashioned lump till it attain to a certain time which is about twelve years of age in women fourteen in men and then it beginneth to have the soule of Love infused into it and to become a vertue There is also a certain limited time when it ceaseth to be a vertue which in men is about fourty in women about thirty years of age yea the losse of so much time makes their Virginity a Vice were not their endeavour wholly bent and their desires altogether fixt upon marriage In Harvest time do we not account it a great vice of sloath and negligence in a Husband-man to overslip a week or ten dayes after his fruits are fully ripe May we not much more account it a more heynous vice for a Virgin to let her Fruit in potentia consume and rot to nothing and to let the vertue of her Virginity degenerate into Vice for Virginity ever kept is ever lost Avarice is the greatest deadly sin next Pride it takes more pleasure in hoording Treasure then in making use of it and will neither let the possessor nor others take benefit by it during the Misers life yet it remains intire and when the Miser dies most come to som body Virginity ever kept is a vice far wors then Avarice it will neither let the possessor nor others take benefit by it nor can it be bequeathed to any with long keeping it decayes and withers and becomes corrupt and nothing worth Thus seeing that Virginity becomes a vice in defect by exceeding a limited time I counsell all female Virgins to make choyce of some Paracelsian for their Physitian to prevent the death of that Vertue The Paracelsians curing like by like say That if the lives of living Creatures could be taken down they would make us immortall By this Rule female Virgins by a discreet marriage should swallow down into their Virginity another Virginity and devour such a life spirit into their womb that it might make them as it were immortall here on earth besides their perfect immortality in heaven And that Vertue which otherwise would putrifie and corrupt shall then be compleat and shall be recorded in Heaven and enrolled here on Earth and the name of Virgin shal be exchanged for a farre more honorable name A Wife A sheaf of Miscellany EPIGRAMS Written in Latin by I. D. Translated by J. Main D. D. 1. Upon one who for his wives fault took it ill to be called Cuckold RUde scoffer why dost cal me Cuckold No Loose fires of Love did in my bosome grow No wedlock knot by me unti'd hath bin Nor am I guilty of anothers sin Thy wife being not her own with thy limbs she Fool'd Cuckold doth commit Adulterie Being then one flesh and thou her Head t is fit The Horus in Justice on thy Brow should fit 2. Upon One Roger a Rich Niggard familiarly unacquainted with the Author BOttomless pit of gold slave to thy Chest Poor in the midst of Riches not possest Self Tantalus To thine own wealth a Thief Affording scarce thy half-starv●…d Womb relief Cheating thy limbs with cloths transparent worn Plague to thy self To all men else a scorn Who madly dost mens silver shapes adore And thence getst Cheeks pale as the silver Ore Feare not I 'le beg my mind 's above thy pelf Good Thrifty Hodge give something to thy self 3. Upon a Whore barren and not barren THy oft repeated is no Childless sin When thou art lain with stil thy purs lies in 4. On the same Thy dowbak'd Lusts and Tail which vainly wags Are recompenc'd by thy still teeming bags 5. On an old Bawd Loe I an old Whore have to young resign'd Yet in my old flesh dwels a young whores mind 6. On the same Though ramage grown Th' art still for carting fit Thy will with others bodies doth commit 7. On the same She whose scarce yet quencht lust to freeze begins Liv'd by her own once now by others sins 8. On a Bawdy-house Here Mal providing for Threescore Sets up the Trade she learn'd before VVith watchings many sweatings more 9. Upon an old rich scolding Woman who being married to a poor young man upbraided him daily with the smallness of his Fortune The Husbands complaint VVhat wife like mine hath any Husband known By day she is all Noyse by night all stone 10. Another Shut thy purse-mouth Old Trot And let 's appeal VVho'd without sauce taste so deform'd a Meal 11. On her unpleasing Kisses They can't be Kisses call'd but toothless Nips VVhich Beldam come from thy faint trembling lips 12. Another When thy dry grissels with my soft lips close I give thee kisses thou return'st me blows 13. Another Thy senses faile thee And pray God they may To me thy Cofers will their loss defray 14. On the same old Wife Thou art no Woman nor no womans part Infant or Girl say who the Devil art 15. To the same Be not seen Thou whom I distracted love Least my prodigious dotage scandal prove For being a meer Image 't wil be spread That I no wife did but an Idol wed 16. Upon one who saw the Picture of his
Copernicus and Paracelsus men which tasted too much of their Germany unfit for a Florentine and therefore had provided some venemous darts out of his Italian Arsenal to cast against this worn souldier of Pampelune this French-Spanish mungrell Ignatius But when he thought better upon it and observed that Lucifer ever approved whatsoever Ignatius said he suddenly changed his purpose and putting on another resolution he determined to direct his speech to Ignatius as to the principall person next to Lucifer as well by this means to sweeten and mollifie him as to make Lucifer suspect that by these honours and specious titles offered to Ignatius and entertained by him his own dignity might be eclipsed or clouded and that Ignatius by winning to his side politique men exercised in civil businesses might attempt some innovation in that Kingdom Thus therefore he began to speak Dread Emperor and you his watchfull and diligent Genius father Ignatius Arch-Chancellor of this Court and highest Priest of this highest Synagogue except the primacy of the Roman Church reach also unto this place let me before I descend to myself a little consider speak and admire your stupendious wisdom and the Government of this state You may vouchsafe to remember great Emperor how long after the Nazarens death you were forced to live a solitary a barren and an Eremiticall life till at last as it was ever your fashion to imitate Heaven out of your aboundant love you begot this dearly beloved son of yours Ignatius which stands at your right hand And from both of you proceeds a spirit whom you have sent into the world who triumphing both with Mitre and Crown governs your Militant Church there As for those sons of Ignatius whom either he left alive or were born after his death and your spirit the Bishop of Rome how justly and properly may they be called equivocall men And not only equivocall in that sense in which the Popes Legates at your Nicene Councel were called Equivocal because they did agree in all their opinions and in all their words but especially because they have brought into the world a new art of Equivocation O wonderfull and incredible Hypercritiques who not out of marble fragments but out of the secretest Records of Hell it self that is out of the minds of Lucifer the Pope and Ignatius persons truely equivocall have raised to life again the language of the Tower of Babel so long concealed and brought us again from understanding one another For my part O noble pair of Emperors that I may freely confess the truth all which I have done wheresoever there shall be mention made of the Jesuits can be reputed but childish for this honour I hope will not be denied me that I brought in an Alphabet and provided certain elements and was some kind of Schoolmaster in preparing them a way to higher undertakings yet it grieves me and makes me ashamed that I should be ranked with this idle and Chymaericall Copernicus or this cadaverous vulture Paracelsus I scorn that those gates into which such men could conceive any hope of entrance should not voluntarily flye open to me yet I can better endure the rashness and fellowship of Paracelsus then the other because he having been conveniently practised in the butcheries and mangling of men he had the reason to hope for favour of the Jesuits For I my self went always that way of blood and therefore I did ever prefer the sacrifices of the Gentiles and of the Iews which were perfor med with effusion of bloud whereby not only the people but the Priests also were animated to bold enterprises before the soft and wanton sacrifices of Christians If I might have had my choice I should rather have wished that the Roman Church had taken the Bread than the Wine from the people since in the wine there is some colour to imagin and represent blood Neither did you most reverend Bishop of this diocess Ignatius abhor from this way of blood For having consecrated your first age to the wars and grown somewhat unable to follow that course by reason of a wound you did presently begin to think seriously of a spiritual war against the Church and found means to open waies even into Kings chambers for your executioners Which dignity you did not reserve only to your own Order but though I must confes that the foundation and the nourishment of this doctrine remains with you and is peculiar to you out of your infinite liberalitie you have vouchsafed sometime to use the hands of other men in these imployments And therefore as well they who have so often in vain attempted it in England as they which have brought their great purposes to effect in France are indebted only to you for their courage and resolution But yet although the entrance into this place may be decreed to none but to Innovators and to only such of them as have dealt in Christian businesse and of them also to those only which have had the fortune to doe much harme I cannot see but that next to the Iesuits I must be invited to enter since I did not only teach those wayes by which thorough perfidiousnesse and dissembling of Religion a man might possesse and usurpe upon the liberty of free Common-wealths but also did arme and furnish the people with my instructions how when they were under this oppression they might safeliest conspire and remove a tyrant or revenge themselves of their Prince and redeem their former losses so that from both sides both from Prince and people I brought an abundant harvest and a noble encrease to this kingdome By this time I perceived Lucifer to be much moved with this Oration and to incline much towards Machiavel For he did acknowledge him to be a kind of Patriarke of those whom they call Laymen And he had long observed that the Clergie of Rome tumbled down to Hell daily easily voluntarily and by troupes because they were accustomed to sinn against their conscience and knowledge but that the Laitie sinning out of a sloathfulnesse and negligence of finding the truth did rather offend by ignorance and omission And therefore he thought himself bound to reward Machiavel which had awakened this drowsie and implicite Laitie to greater and more bloudie Vndertakings Besides this since Ignatius could not be denied the place whose ambitions and turbulencies Lucifer understood very well he thought Machiavel a fit and necessarie Instrument to oppose against him that so the skales being kept even by their factions he might govern in peace and two poysons mingled might doe no harme But he could not hide this intention from Ignatius more subtil than the Devil and the verier Lucifer of the two Therefore Ignatius rushed out threw himselfe down at Lucifers feet and groveling on the ground adored him Yet certainly Vasques would not call this idolatry because in the shape of the Devill he worshipped him whom he accounted the true God Here Ignatius cryed and thundred out With so great