never recover from that sickness The only concern she had now left was for her Fathers Conversion and what would become of the Children after her Death which the thoughts of Brother Clares Death had for some time hinder'd her from thinking upon CHAP. XIII Her concern for her Father and Children She seeks her greater Mortification even to the last The Declaration of her satisfaction in her State of Life a little before her Death THe concern Sister Clare had been in for the suspected Death of Brother Clare and fright of her own being deluded had for some time made her forget her concern for her Father but no sooner were those apprehensions taken away but this return'd together with the apprehension least after her Death her Father should endeavour to prosecute his design of geting the Children into England and there perverting them from the Catholic Faith bring their Souls into as dangerous a condition as his own was in But now not being able to Write her self she desir'd one of the Religious to Write what she would dictate to her which she did in the following words SIR BEing at present unable to Write my self I am forced to make use of anothers hand to beg with my last breath a continuation of your kindness to me after my Death by giving your consent that my Children may be brought up in the place where they now live and that you would also please to reflect how unsafe the Religion you are of is to dye in and think before it be too late cf your Salvation This I crave of you for the bloody Passions sake of our dear Savior Your poor Child TREVOR HANMER At the beginning of her Letter she seem'd pleasant and chearful but before she came to the end of it the sadness of the subject had made her Heart also sad this Letter thô short is very expressive of her constant affection to her Father and concern for her Children wherein she to move him the more to grant what she asked made use of the most powerful Motives of our Saviors Passion and his own Affection which she endeavour'd to stir up by subscribing it with her Maiden Name Being in this weak condition we have mention'd notwithstanding the interior and exterior afflictions she suffer'd she had not forgot or lest off to Mortifie her self for she still practis'd it upon her dying Body out of too unreasonable a persuit I know not how to term it of self denyal and suffering refusing to ask that assistance which her condition requir'd but would sometimes lye three or four hours and very often for an hour with that stilness and quiet that one could not discern whether she were living or dead unless by her breath And all judged it to be no little pain for one in a Feaver to live so long without any manner of refreshment or change of posture which the Religious were still ready to give her but she never askt nay would scarce accept of when offer'd unless by Obedience This render'd the Religious rather sharers in her sufferings than inabl'd them to give her any comfort or solace in them And from this all that attended her were assur'd that she treated her Body in her sickness with no less rigor than she did in her health and that to her last breath she kept inviolably that purpose I find amongst others in her own hand For the love of God I will ever deny my self whatever is pleasing to me thô lawful for we and endeavour as much as Holy Obedience will permit to do all such things for his sake as shall be most contrary to my nature Let all Creatures love praise and honor Jesus Maria Joseph but let me be confounded A brave and Heroical resolution in which she exprest the constancy of her Love to God and contempt of her self A few days before her happy Death some of the Religious in the presence of the Doctor compassionated her present weakness for her Spirits were almost exhausted and her strength quite spent but the Doctor Answer'd That 't was no wonder to see her in that condition by reason of the many Austerities and Mortifications she had undergone and chiefly the violent combat she had often had with Nature of which he found evident Symptoms in her Body Sister Clare hearing this and thinking that some might infer from hence that all her Life in Religion had been troublesome and uneasie to remove this suspition and to undeceive those that were present especially the Doctor call'd God to Witness these following words I have so much content and satisfaction at present and always had in this State of Life that I voluntarily took upon my self as that were I again as free to choose as ever I would embrace This very condition and State of Life and no other Thô this was the last yet 't was not the only time she had signified her satisfaction in Religion and then also exprest a dislike to her former condition for being asked what mov'd her so to Mortifie her self She Answer'd That the Love she ow'd to God made her esteem all she did and suffer'd as nothing and render'd all the hardships of her present Rules most easie and pleasant adding That what is suffer'd even in the strictest Orders is nothing to what many VVorldlings often suffer even when in outward appearance they seem most happy A few hours before she dyed she desir'd that several Candles might be lighted and put within her Curtains which all wonder'd at because she had before expressed a difficulty and unwillingness to see any light But it seems that Almighty God mov'd her to desire this faint Representation of that Eternal Light she was going to possess For she immediately after with a smiling Countenance declining her Head in Mother Abbesses Breast without the least groan or sigh gave up her pure Soul into the hands of her Creator about Seven a Clock at Night upon the 26th of Ianuary and as she had liv'd in a constant practice so Providence would have her dye in the bosome of Obedience wherefore we may truly say her Death Answer'd her Life she lived a Saint and so she dy'd The End of the Third Book THE LIFE OF THE LADY WARNER In RELIGION Sister CLARE of IESVS THE FOVRTH BOOK CHAP. I. Marks whereby God gave evidence of her Vertuous Life after her Death THE bounty and liberality of God to his Servants is such that as they give signs of their Love towards him in their Life as well in Body as Soul so he often expresses marks of his after their Death not only to their Souls in Heaven making them partakers of his Beatifical Vision but also extends such marks of his Love to their Bodies still in this World as may signifie to us the happiness of their Souls in in the other This he expressed to Sister Clare Whose Countenance after her Death retain'd so Angelical and Ravishing a sweetness as made all the Community which came with sad
and also in English that the meaning of it may be understood by all of our own Nation for whom this Life was chiefly Writ Siste Lege Mirare Sta Viator debitaque lachrymarum tributa Huic persolve Funeri Jacet hic Sepulta CLARA de JESU Nomen illam haud vulgarem indicat Nobilis ac Illustris HANMERORUM Domus Suam esse Progeniem jactat Latuit aliquantisper haec Stella Errorum tenebris offuscata Sed ut postea Orbem Orbe splendidiore decoraret Nupsit perillustri Domino JOANNI WARNERO Baronetto Sed cum nil nisi Caelum spiraret Caelestes affectavit Thalamos Sicque consentiente atque approbante Optimo Conjuge Toro Maritali Parentum Charissimorum pignorum Amplexibus posthabitis De Mundo esse desijt ut de JESU fieret Hoc Monasterium Suae Virtutis Theatrum esse voluit Ubi suave Christi jugum Ad finem usque vitae portans Omni perfectionis genere Multisque Nominibus CLARA Vixit Obijt Anno Domini M DC LXX Ianuarij xxvi Stop Read Admire Stay Passenger and pay a due Tribute of Tears To this Funeral Here lies Buried CLARE of JESUS Her Name speakes her no ordinary Person The Noble and Illustrious House of HANMERS Boasts of her as their Progeny This Star lay hid a little while Clouded with the darkness of Errors That afterwards it might adorn the World With a more resplendent Orb. She Married the Honourable Sir JOHN WARNER Baronet But breathing after nothing but Heaven She Aspir'd to Celestial Nuptials And her desires being approv'd and consented to By her Excellent Husband Forsaking his Embraces and those also Of her Dearest Father and Children She ceast to be of the World to be of JESUS She chose this Monastry For the Theater of her Vertue Where she carried the sweet Yoak Of Christ to her very last breath By the Practice of all Perfection Verifying her Name GLORIOUS She liv'd And Dyed In the Year of our Lord M DC LXX the 26th Day of Ianuary CHAP. III. The Letter of Reverend Mother Abbess of Graveling to Brother Clare concerning Sister Clares happy Death with an abridgment of her Vertuous Life THE Authority of Mother Abbess must needs gain no little credit to what she Writes concerning Sister Clare as having been very intimate to all her actions and proceedings For she always looked upon her as her Mother and with a more than filial confidence had recourse unto her upon all occasions believing her advice and direction to be the infallible Rule of Gods Will whose place she bore and consequently none can be more fit than she to give the World her Caracter Mother Abbess then after her Death Writes in this manner to Brother Clare Honour'd Dear Brother THE Will of God be ever done Life and Death are in his Hands and all works are perfected in mercy and goodness I have taken my Pen in hand upon the saddest subject that could have happen'd to me or this Community and were I not resolv'd never to let my Will jarre with the Will of God I should want resignation to this present visitation which has depriv'd us of your and our ever dear Sister Sister Clare of Iesus whom Iesus her dear Spouse called to his Eternal embraces on the 26th Instant Having left us a greater affliction I am bold to say than ever any conceived at the Death of their own Natural Sisters For in her we lost a great light of Vertue more than I am able to express since her generous embracing of our Abjections did incourage us in our Vocations I never heard her complain nor repine at our Austerities but I have often heard her say that they were too little and that she did nothing as she ought for the love of God Her Humility engag'd her to make use of all means to cover her Vertue yet I cannot frame to my self how any one could have liv'd more perfectly than she has done these few Years that she hath been with us Her perfection appear'd so much in all she did that it is hard to say in what she was most perfect I never could see how any one could be more prompt simple or blindly Obedient than she was and yet she was always accusing her self of her want of it O how clear sighted are Saints This made her to say dayly to me when I came to Visit her in her Sickness that she scarce thought her self Religious because she had never done any action in her Life time like a Religious Woman Dear Brother what great Humility was this That did so wean her from all self-opinion when the Life she led was such as I am sure none can surpass In her Sickness she us'd to express her Conformity in such like words as these It has pleas'd God to send me such or such a tryal or to deprive me of such or such a comfort This shew'd that she took all from the immediate hand of God and that her Sickness did not as her Humility made her believe rob her of her former near Vnion with him as far as I could perceive but when he seem'd to withdraw himself from her it was without doubt the greatest Affliction in her Sickness and consequently an effect of his Love to encrease her Merit Dear Brother I wish that you had seen her dying as we did what profit would you have made of such an example That God did not think us fit to enjoy any longer I wish I could do by her as our Blessed Lady did by her dear Son lay up in my Heart all the Words and Actions of her Life as a Rule whereby to square my own There has been little other Discourse since her happy Death but of her Vertuous Life and I wish that it may always continue amongst us to excite us to a faithful Imitation of her as the best means of meeting her once more in Heaven What reason have we then but to confide in her present happiness She knew that Heaven suffer'd violence and therefore resolv'd to be one of those that should take it by force Whilst she was well her Life was a continu'd practice of Religious Perfection and her Sickness was nothing but an encrease of her Merit because she suffer'd it with so much love and patience She would often sweetly invite Death that is dreadful and ugly to most to come and dispatch and not linger about her We are now Writeing to all the Convents as we use to do upon such occasions to procure Prayers for her thô I believe we want her Prayers more than she does ours I shall dayly beg at her Grave that she would obtain comfort for you and that you may bear this Cross with a resign'd Patience Our whole Community is full of Affliction and I hardly see what I Write my Eyes are so full of Tears I wish they may Redeem yours As for her two sweet Children if you please to intrust your dear Sister and me with them by Gods Grace
Approbation I do moreover declare that by the Title of Saint which upon occasion I have given her or any other Person whose Vertues I have related I intended only to signifie thereby that they were endow'd with a more than ordinary Vertue and design'd the word should be taken in no other sense than what St. Paul meant it when he apply'd it to the more Vertuous amongst the Primitive Christians and had no intention to ranck them amongst Beatified or Canoniz'd Saints which power only appertains to the Holy See Apostolick Having nothing more to add to the foregoing Memoires I heartily wish the Reader may find as much comfort in their perusal as I did in Reading and putting them together and that whatever I have here Writ may redound to Gods greater Honor and Glory Amen The End of the Life THE CONTENTS OF EACH BOOK OF THE Life of the Lady WARNER The First BOOK Contains her Life to her Entrance into Religion CHAP. I. HER Birth and Family her inclination even from her tender Years to a Religious Life both in France and England Pag. 1. CHAP. II. Her Pious designs are crossed by her Mother-in-law and what happen'd to her till the time of her Marriage Pag. 9. CHAP. III. The first interview between her and Sir John Warner her Marriage and behaviour in the World Pag. 15. CHAP. IV. The first beginning and occasion of her Conversion Pag. 30. CHAP. V. A Relation of Sir John Warners Conversion and how both he and his Lady resolve to enter upon a Religious course of Life Pag. 49. The Second BOOK Contains her Life from her Entrance into Religion till her Profession CHAP. I. She takes the Habit at Liege amongst the English Nuns's call'd Sepulchrines of the Order of St. Austin Pag. 71. CHAP. II. How she came to be call'd to a more rigorous State of Life or to a stricter Order Pag. 78. CHAP. III. How she resolves to enter amongst the Poor Clares her departure and journy from Liege and her arrival at Graveling Pag. 87. CHAP. IV. Sister Clare of Jesus begins her Noviship amongst the English Poor Clares at Graveling her Humility Zeal Courage Chearfulness and Blind-obedience in this her new Enterprize Pag 101. CHAP. V. Her Interior and Exterior Mortification her singular Devotion to the Blessed Sacrament her modesty and recollection Pag. 109. CHAP. VI. The happy thô untimely Death of Mr. Francis Warner and how this and several other cross and unexpected accidents which happen'd to Sir John retarded her Profession to which the Enemy endeavour'd to make even hâ—r self instrumental and how she discover'd and generously overcame his crafty Temptations Pag. 120. CHAP. VII Her Letter in Answer to one Sir John Writ upon the news of her desires to leave Graveling new hindrances of her Profession by the delay of the execution of a Commission out of Chancery and Death of Mother Taylor Abbess of the Poor Clares Pag. 136. CHAP. VIII Her concern about her Children's Education her Letters to Sir John and the Abbess of Gant about their removal to Graveling Sir John's return from England their preparation for their Profession her Oblation of her self during the Exercise and their taking their last leave of each other the Night before they made their Vows Pag. 143. The Third BOOK Contains her Life from her Profession or the making her Vows to her Death CHAP. I. The Ceremony of their Profession at Graveling Pag. 161. CHAP. II. What effects this Ceremony wrought upon her self and those that were present at it the great Victory she obtain'd over her Passions manifested by her unconcernedness in this and on some other very moving occasions Pag. 177. CHAP. III. Her exact compliance with Mother Abbesses Orders in taking care of her Children in which she exprest more of a careful Mistress than a tender Mother and hereby manifested that pure Obedience the inclination of Grace and not affection to her Children the inclination of Nature mov'd her to accept this employment Pag. 185. CHAP. IV. Her Zeal for the Conversion of her Relations to the Catholic Faith her Prayer for them and ferverous Letters to the Father expressing her passionate love towards him by her fervent Zeal for his Conversion notwithstanding his great severity and unkindnesses towards her Pag. 190. CHAP. V. Her generous resolution of tending to perfection the Testimony of her Ghostly Father and others how diligently she puts these her resolutions in practice Pag. 199. CHAP. VI. The Excellency of her Prayer gather'd from it's fruits Pag. 204. CHAP. VII Mr. Ruisson's Letter to Sistâ—r Clare containing admirable directions for Prayâ—r and Vnion with God in which perfection chiâ—fly consists Together with her humble Answer Pag. 210. CHAP. VIII A short account of some remarkable passages in the Life and Death of Mr. Ruisson Pag. 222. CHAP. IX A Remarkable passage of her burning her Picture a little before her Death Pag. 230. CHAP. X. The foresiight God gave her of her Death her concern for her Fathers Conversion and her Letters to him about it Pag. 234. CHAP. XI Her Interior sufferings in time of her Sickness and the effects of her Childrens Visit Pag. 241. CHAP. XII Another tryal God gave her to compleat her Crown Pag. 245. CHAP. XII Her concern for her Father and Children she seeks her greater Mortification even to the last the declaration of her satisfaction in her State of Life a little before her Death Pag. 252. The Fourth BOOK Contains some passages that happen'd after her Death CHAP. I. Marks whereby God gave evidence of her Vertuous Life after her Death Pag. 257 CHAP. II. The Points of her Funeral Sermon in short together with her Burial and Epitaph Pag. 261. CHAP. III. The Letter of Reverend Mother Abbess of Graveling to Brother Clare concerning Sister Clares happy Death with an abrigment of her Vertuous Life Pag. 208. CHAP. IV. A Letter to Brother Clare from Reverend Father Warren Confessour to the Poor Clares of Graveling concerning the Death of Sister Clare in which he also takes notice of some particular Vertues she excell'd in Pag. 273. CHAP. V. A Description in General of the Sanctity of her Life Pag. 280. CHAP. VI. A more exact Relation of her Vertues in particular Pag. 284. FINIS
circumspect graceful and enfie to be esteem'd and respected and to be lov'd and reverenc'd by those who were most familiar with her Nor can I rest satisfied with this general Character I have given of her Humor but must descend to those particulars which the Religious have given me Who took notice that whatever difficulty or indisposition she suffer'd she ingeniously dissembl'd them in time of Recreation Being always resolv'd to uphold and maintain the hour alotted to this innocent Pastime by a provision which she had made of such pleasant Spiritual Stories as serv'd not only to divert the hearers but excite them to the Love of God Yet was never known to express even the least sign of impatience whilst others related theirs having no inclination to ingross the Discourse to her self in which she carefully wav'd whatever in the least related to her self or Family Her punctual observance of the Constitutions in speaking spiritually was the more wonder'd eat by the Community because she having been a Person in the World whose Quality and Education must necessarily have furnisht her with many extraordinary passages the Relation of which would have been very diverting yet nothing was ever heard from her Mouth which tended not either to the Praise of Virtue or to the Love of God Neither did the energy with which she spoke of Heavenly things give any trouble or Mortification at all to those that heard her no more than their Discourses did ever give her which appear'd by that constant and extraordinary serenity of countenance she particularly seem'd to put on in time of Recreation Which was hereby no less promoted and animated by her whilst others spoke than when she spoke her self But whilst with a constant and un-interrupted Progress she thus chearfully advanc'd in the pl asant path of Perfection behold God who knew her fidelity permitted a great and unexpected Storm to be rais'd against her so much the more sensible because it depriv'd her not only of a near Relation but by his Death occasion'd a delay of that happiness self so much thirsted after and thought her self even ready to possess Viz. that of her Profession or Espousals with Christ CHAP. VI. The happy tho' untimely Death of Mr. Francis Warner and how this and several other cross and unexpected accidents which happen'd to Sir John retarded her Profession To which the Enemy endeavour'd to make even her self instrumental and how she discover'd and generously overcame his crafty Temptations THat I may the better perform my promise made in the Contents of this Chapter of giving the Reader an account of the happy thô untimely Death of Mr. Francis VVarner I hope 't will not appear too great a digression from what I have undertaken to Write if I relate a little at large such Circumstances as may conduce to a perfect knowledge of his Death Especially since 't was an un-expected hindrance of her happy Profession she so earnestly desir'd to make In the Month of Ianuary 1667. Mr. Francis VVarner came over to give his Brother a Visit thereby to express his Gratitude no less for the Estate he had given him than for having been under God the chief occasion of his Conversion as also to be convinc'd as well from his Mouth as he had been from his Pen of the great satisfaction he experienc'd in the Religious State he had undertaken In his way to Liege as he passed through the Low-Countries he Visited several Religious Houses and amongst others the English Carthusians at Newport Where the admirable order and chearfulness he beheld amongst them amidst so great Solitude and Austerity had already by the influence of Gods Grace so toucht his Heart that he resolv'd to follow his Brothers example in quitting the World as soon as he could compass it by a settlement of his Affairs in England But said nothing of this his design till one Night at Liege he and his Brother being alone together he ask'd to borrow his square Cap which pulling of his Periwig he put on asking his Brother If it became him Who Answer'd That it became him very well and that he did not doubt but if God gave him inclinations to a Religious State that he would find the same happiness and satisfaction in it as he himself had done Mr. Francis VVarner hereupon reply'd with Tears That he was sorry he had not profited by his Education at School as he wisht he had done since by reason of this neglect he could not now be so happy as to be his Brother also in Religion But added That he had made a Resolution of becoming a Carthusian in which Order Literature was not so absolutely necessary as in the Society VVhere they tended not only to their own Perfection but also to the Perfection of their Neighbor And that he doubted not but that he should meet with the same content amongst the Carthusians which he exprest to have already experienc'd in the Society VVherefore he resolv'd to hasten back to England there to settle his Estate and to take Graveling and Watten in his way thither and that at the last place he design'd to make the Spiritual Exercise to see whether this Vocation to be a Carthusian were from God or no and if he found it were that he might thereby be strengthen'd to overcome all obstacles that should oppose or retard the execution of what God had inspir'd him to undertake You may well imagine how overjoy'd Brother Clare was at this welcome thô un-exspected News and with what seasonable Counsels he seconded his Brothers Pious intentions Who resolving forthwith to leave Liege Brother Clare desir'd him to take his two Daughters who were still with the Vrsulins along with him to conduct them to the English Monastry of Benedictine Dames at Gant Whether he carry'd them very safe Hence he continu'd his Journy towards Graveling both to Visit his Sisters there and to give them an account of the welfare of his Neeces and of their removal from Liege to Gant You may imagine how overjoy'd they were to see him but the joy his presence gave them was nothing in comparison of that which the welcome news of his design of leaving the World occasion'd From thence he went to VVatten where he made Eight Days Exercise In which retirement by the light and unction of the Holy Ghost he was thorowly convinc'd that his Vocation unto the Holy Order of Carthusians was an Inspiration from Heaven Wherefore having ended his retreat he hasten'd to Newport as well once more to take a a view of that place in which he resolv'd to end his Life as to Embark from thence for England He stay'd here longer than he intended in expectation of fair weather but it continu'd Stormy so very long that his impatience of compassing the happy State he aim'd at caus'd him to urge the Master of the Packet-boat to venter out to Sea in that Stormy weather The Master overcome by his earnest intreaties and large promises hoisted Sail
pleas'd to put a stop to my proceedings and to infuse the light of your Divine Faith into my Soul Thereby dissipating the thick Clouds of Ignorance and Error which cast a Vail over my ceceived Understanding You were not only pleas'd to do this my God but to call me likewise to Religion and when advising with those Directors you were pleas'd to give me I found I had made a wrong choice at Liege and thereby occasion'd my own and Brother Clares affliction you kindly brought me thence and according to your sweet Providence thô I was so miserable as not to know and acquiesce in it placed me in this Holy Community Nor could I here be content but must still be wandering thô my God you know I thought it was to please you more being so deluded and blinded as to make my own choice and reverse the Doom that you had fixt till you put me again into the right way O! let me know my unworthiness of such favors that I may unfeignedly depress my self and exalt your greatness and goodness in my Soul Let me have a true desire to be contemn'd and despis'd by all and trod upon as an abject Worm Wean my Soul from all desires that may contradict your Will make me ready to forsake my own Sense trample self-love under my feet and wholy transform my Will into yours Give me patience to suffer any injuries pain poverty sickness shame or any thing else that you shall think expedient for me and shall in mercy send me I deserve worse than what I have named and I desire to suffer more that I may have the more resemblance to my suffering Savior whom by my transgressions I have so often Crucified O! my dearest Lord I am heartily sorry and grieved to the very bottom of my heart that I have offended so good a God and thereby deserv'd an Eternal Punishment But your Mercy hath spar'd me hitherto to the end I might be converted and live Pardon me therefore O my compassionate Father Pardon your now repenting and returning Child O! that I could live my life over again and correct my former Errors I would assuredly square all my Actions to that most certain Rule your Holy Will From henceforward I fully purpose and resolve to make what return I am able to your many favors Your holy preventing Grace made me a Catholic the same assisting me I resolve firmly and constantly to adhear to this Church of which you have made me a Member and out of which there is no Salvation I 'le intirely embrace her saving Faith and practice her wholesome Doctrin to my dying Day Your Holy Grace made me a Poor Clare by the assistance of it I will live and die one To the Throne of your Divine Majesty I humbly present these my Desires Intentions and Resolutions to be there Ratified and Confirm'd by the Merits of my Dear Redeemer Christ Jesus and by the Intercession of his ever Glorious Mother the Virgin Mary For the speedy and exact execution hereof I crave with all Submission and Humility the Assistance and Prayers both of the Church Militant and Triumphant CHAP. VII Her Letter in Answer to one Sir John Writ upon the news of her desires to leave Graveling New hinderances of her Profession by the delay of the execution of a Commission out of Chancery and Death of Mother Taylor Abbess of the Poor Clares SIr Iohn VVarner knew nothing yet of this resolution but upon the Letter which he receiv'd from Father Green beforemention'd he Writ forthwith to Sister Clare and desir'd the Abbess to give his Letter Seal'd into her own hands and that she might have the same Liberty of transmitting her Answer without showing it to any one In his Letter he signified his concern for her thoughts of leaving Graveling that he fear'd it was a deceit of the Enemy to make her lay aside at last the happy enterprize she had undertaken of quitting the World telling her that if these Tryals she had made of a Religious State gave her an occasion to repent of her undertaking it was better sooner than later to declare her Mind before he made any farther settlement of his Estate and that he was confident she could not be so far ignorant of his Affection as to think that to make himself happy he would expose her to so great a Misery as the entring into that State against her Will would occasion and therefore as he had left the World purely in obedience to what he thought God's Call and not out of any want of that reciprocal Affection he was oblig'd to have for her so unless she had the same content in this State as he had found he should not look upon it as a real Call from God but as a tryal only that Almighty God had given him of his Obedience seeing that promise he had made to her in Marriage oblig'd him not to make that separation they were about without her free and full consent and therefore desir'd her freely to discover her Mind to him assuring her whatever it was it should not in the least lessen that constant Affection she had ever receiv d from him This Letter came not to her hands till after she had taken a Resolution of staying and making her Profession at Graveling and therefore understanding the trouble he was in which was a great affliction to her she immediately Answers his Letter to put him out of that pain which the Letter he had receiv'd from Father Green concerning her desires to remove from Graveling had occasion'd Dear Brother I Must confess your apprehensions have filled my heart with sadness but blessed be God who gives strength to all I doubt not but all will conduce to the making us more pleasing in his sight I receiv'd your Letter and Read it with that liberty you desir'd and now Answer you with the same freedom wherefore I beseech you be assur'd that all I shall say comes from my heart as speaking in the presence of God and without consideration of any Creature And first as to my self after beging upon my Knees that you will forgive me the infinite loss of time and trouble I have caus'd you both in Spiritual and Temporal concerns I do assure you by Gods great mercy I desire nothing in this World but to make my Profession in this Blessed Order and House and that without the least motive arising from you or any thing imaginable but God's holy Will who of his unspeakable Goodness has himself as it were if I may presume to say so plac'd me here where I may truly serve him I hope since he has given me this real desire he will be pleas'd to move this Holy Community to accept of me thô he knows how unworthy I am of it but I have not as yet beg'd that Voices I cannot but think Gods Mercy and your Industry will soon compass an end of all Affairs so that we may soon make our Profession Now as to Temporal
had left these exercises as if God also had abandon'd her and that she had nothing now to comfort her self withal but the thoughts that he treated her no worse then his own Son whom also he had abandon'd for her sake all therefore she was able now to do was to unite these her interior sufferings and derelictions to those he suffer'd upon the Cross when he complain'd of his Eternal Fathers forsaking him and beg'd of them to assist her with their Prayers that she might bear this tryal as she ought testifying that the pain it occasion'd was so great as that it had made her almost insensible of her exterior sufferings neither feeling the pain of her distemper nor tasting what was given her to Eat One of the good Sisters thinking to give her ease in these her sufferings at least for some little time desir'd she would admit of a Visit from her Children but she knowing how much her indisposition had chang'd her from what she had been formerly was unwilling for fear she should not have strength enough to maintain that equality of mind which she had till then exprest in such like occasions yet after much intreaty she gave her consent that they should be brought to her no sooner were they come to the Bed-side but she fell a weeping This unexpected accident made them presently be taken away from her and after they were gone the Sister asked her the cause of her Tears she answer'd 't was my tenderness that made me VVeep being well I had often much a do to forbear the expressing the sentiments of a Mother but now being overcome by sickness I cannot overcome my self Then the Sister asked her How she had attain'd to that great Mortification and conquest over Nature She reply'd That from the moment she left Brother Clare all things but God were displeasing to her and that the Children putting her in mind of that other Sacrifice which she had made to God caus'd her a new to settle her Affections upon her Creator which by the assistance of his Divine Grace could not be alter'd by any Creature Perhaps the thoughts that this was the last time she should ever see them in this World and that they were to be left to the care of strangers or else expos'd to a dangerous Education by their Protestant Relations might occasion her tenderness in this Visit which she overcame in the next in which the Children were also taken from her upon account of their own arid not of their Mothers Tears As soon as they were out of the Room Mother Abbess asked her If she were not troubled for them No said she I bless God not in the least for I have long since given them into his hands and powerful protection who I am sure can and will take care of them Without doubt as the Religious took notice of before she had as great a Tenderness for her Children as a Mother could have and yet she was so much Mistress over this passion as she seem'd to have none at all for them which made one of the Religious once tell her in Recreation That she would be much above her in Heaven by reason of the great Oblation she had made To whom Sister Clare Answer'd It is you dear Sister that will meet with the highest place there for having given your self to him when you were Young making him your only Spouse upon which the Sister reply'd And do you count it a small thing to leave Brother Clare and your two Angelical Children Here her Humility would not let her own the greatness of the gift yet her love to God forced her to make this acknowledgment In leaving Brother Clare and my Children I cannot say that I have left nothing and then smiling said God deserves greater Sacrifices Dear Sister than we can make him CHAP. XII Another tryal God gave her to compleat her Crown 'T IS a strange and wonderful Paradox that affliction should be a mark of Love yet the Divine Wisdom Truth it self has declar'd That God Chastises those he Loves If this therefore be true as certainly 't is his Love to Sister Clare was very extraordinary who gave her so many marks of it by sending her so many afflictions But one comfort she exprest to have still left was that she should die before Brother Clare but God would not permit her long to enjoy this neither and would also give her this tryal even when she was in so very weak a condition as made her less able to bear it Viz. the suspition of Brother Clares Death which happen'd from his unwonted silence to several Letters she had Writ to him and in some of them about the Children's concerns which she knew he would not fail to Answer by the first opportunity and because she was disappointed in this she imagin'd that he was dead and under that conviction suffer'd as much as if he had been truly so yet she silently underwent this hidden affliction for a long time with that courage as not to discover any outward sign of grief at all till at last her want of strength forc't her at least to a change of Countenance caus'd by this following accident She giving some Letters which she had Writ to Brother Clare to send by a Father that was going to Liege the Sister that was to carry them to the Father finding them open desir'd her to Seal them upon which proposal they discern'd a more then ordinary change in her Countenance which proceeded as afterwards she own'd from the Confirmation this action of the Sister gave to the suspition she before had of his Death she believing that to hide it such care was taken that she should Seal her Letters This certainly was one of the greatest tryals that could befal her or that could call her constancy in the love of God to a more than ordinary Test If you desire to know the conflict she felt and how she behaved her self in it take it in her own words as I find amongst her Papers she gave account of it to her Ghostly Father The Combat I had and how I wholy offer'd up Brother Clare to Almighty God which I beseech him our Blessed Lady and all my Patrons and Patronesses to assit me to keep I by Almighty Gods Grace resolv'd to make this Sacrifice to his greater Honor and Glory and when I heard the Mass Bell Ring my heart trembl'd and I was all in a Commotion the first thing as I remember I did was to fancy him dead and so I presented him at our Blessed Ladies Feet and beseecht her to offer him up for me I beg'd also the ayd of St. Bruno and St. Teresa and then I resolv'd never to desire to see him and if he should come never to look on him to put him clearly out of my heart to be no more concern'd in him than a stranger then it came into my mind to behold him dead and to say to Almighty God I was glad