thee Lord as this holy motion came from thy heavenly Spirit so enable me to the performance of it by thy grace to thy glory and my soules eternall comfort I vow my self a serious and professed enemy to all ungodlinesse no sinfull thought shall surprise me without a sorrowfull sigh no ungracious word pass me without a sudden retractation and devout confession no wicked action defile me without a sincere and godly humiliation unto each measure of sin I will allow a due measure of sorrow those sins that have been reigning over me shall at set houres be constantly revenged by me and as my body hath been a deep sharer in my sinnes so it shall allso be a dayly sharer in my sufferings I will at set seasons deny my self somewhat of these outward enjoyments which thou Lord in mercy hast allowed me as a true sign of my true sorrow for that sinfull excess which I have too often taken without thine allowance Those sinfull houres which have been vainly lost in idlenesse and emptinesse shall be willingly redeemed in a constant observation of religious duties no day shall passe me without a solemn and devout task of devotion no hour without some sweet ejaculation And when at any time the troubles and disturbances of this frail life shall deny me happy opportunities for these heavenly performances what is wanting in act shall be made up in desire which thou Lord I trust wi lt graciously accept and look upon as done because faithfully intended O thou infinitely wise and for ever blessed being that art truly and eternally happy without the sinfull service of thy creature and yet commandest us to serve thee for our own sakes that we allso may be happy in thee thou that lovest not a false and fickle heart nor delightest in the sacrifise of fooles give me a wise and understanding heart that I may seriously consider of this sacred Vow give me a constant and religious heart that I may chearfully perform what I have faithfully promised give me a broken and a contrite heart that I may bitterly bewail what I have foolishly neglected that thy great name may be glorified my sinfull life amended my conscience quieted my spirit comforted thy Saints delighted thine Angels rejoyced and my soul and body eternally saved in the great and dreadfull day of the Lord Jesus to whom with thee O blessed Father and thine holy Spirit be all possible praise and honour and glory now and for ever Amen CHAP. 40. Upon the blessed condition of Gods Saints with motives and encouragements unto Godliness Lord To close up these imperfect lines as I began with that beauty of holinesse which thou thy self art and is essentially contained in thee so my soules desire is to end with that blessednesse which we thy Saints enjoy even in this vale of misery and is eternally derived from thee that so I may begin and end with thee who art the beginning and end of thy creature that I may lead thy servants from the pure fountain of true holinesse to the sweet streames of inward happinesse wherein we may securely bath our weary soules in rest and quietnesse untill thy gracious goodnesse shall conduct us home unto the full fruition of those joyfull rivers of thine endlesle pleasure I am no sooner entred upon this blessed search but I find my soul ravished with admiration at the greatnesse with apprehension of the goodnesse with contemplation of the freenesse of thy love and favour towards me I see thee the great and glorious God of heaven and earth from all eternity out of thine own gracious goodnesse without all possibility in me when I was not either of desiring or deserving this inestimable love of thine electing me in Christ of whom thou hadst no need from whom thou couldst receive no benefit unto holynesse and happinesse in this life and unto blefsednesse in that to come and as I find this love of thine to be purely simply admirably and eternally great so is it also truly necessarily sufficiently and permanently good If it were not truly good it could never make me truly happy if not necessarily good I might then enjoy happinesse without it if not sufficiently good my happinesse enjoyed by it could not afford me satisfaction in it if not permanently good what I enjoy in satisfaction I may want in perfection by being suddainly removed from it But thou O Lord hast graciously afforded me all these degrees of happinesse that I might be truly and eternally happy that I might be happy in thee because there is no attainining happinesse but by thee that I may be happy in soul and happy in body happy in life and happy in death happy here and happy hereafter Thou O my blessed Saviour art sweeter unto me than all sweetnesse thou art that blessed All-sufficiency by which I am both fully and for ever satisfied thou art my safe repose my inviolable peace my rich rest my safety in life my comfort in death my glory after death By thy patient sufferings I am more than conqueror of sin of sorrow of death of hell by thy glorious resurrection I have assured hope of immortality by thy blessed ascention of eternall glory by the one thou hast powerfully defended me against the rage and malice of devils by the other thou hast graciously exalted me in thy blessed union with me above the nature of Angels thy peace thou hast left with me thy peace thou hast given unto me even that blessed peace of conscience which the world cannot take from me and that eternity of peace with thee in thy Kingdom which thou Lord in thy rich mercy hast prepared for me O that I might now lose my self with contemplation of thine endlesse love that I might be ravished into extasie with apprehension of my present safety of my future glory that all my faculties of soul might be but one entire and pleasing sacrifise of thankfulnesse unto thee that as thou O my Saviour and the Father are one so I may be one with thee to magnifie thy gracious presence here and to be for ever where thou art hereafter to see thy great glory and enjoy mine own end lesse felicity From this for ever blessed fountain of eternall happiness doe plentifully flow those pleasant streams of comfort to the souls and bodies of the Saints even in this life by which they are securely quieted and joyfully contented even in the very worst of times which either mans malice or the Devils cruelty can study to inflict upon them if they receive injuries they return prayers they entertain them with a Father forgive them for they know not what they doe Luk. 23.34 and Lord lay not this sin to their charge Act. 7.60 And so while they lose outwardly they gain inwardly godliness is great gain for by patience they possess their own souls Their courage is undaunted for The righteous is hold as a Lion able to encounter the fiercest affliction ready to withstand the strongest
his gracious performances I now enjoy that blessed Peace of God which passeth all our understanding My deliverance is wonderful my freedom absolute my peace unalterable my joy unutterable My conscience is now quieted my spirit ravished mine enemies vanquished and my God wel-pleased To thee therefore O thou blessed Fountain of eternall sweetness do I address my joyfull soul to love and honour thee to my lives end Lord Jesus accept of me and so powerfully and graciously assist me that I may savingly behold thee in thy blessed promises that I may happily enjoy thee in thy holy Ordinances that I may clearly see and joyfully confess what great things thou hast done for my poor soul that I may be dayly ravished with apprehension of thine exceeding love and hourly husied with recounting thy endless praise Lord make me to forsake the sins and miseries of this life make me more watchful over my corrupt heart more zealous of thy glory and thy childrens good that I may never willingly offend thee but wholly sacrifise the short remainder of my dayes unto thee that so my heart and my flesh may triumphantly rejoice in thee the living God Mortifie my corruptions support my weakness accept my willingness Let this my humiliation before thee be a pleasing sacrifice unto thee for his alone sake whose precious life thy rich mercie hath sacrifised to thy Justice for me Lord hear me and have mercy on me for his alone sake whom thou hast freely given unto me that I may truly love thee devoutly serve thee earnestly imbrace thee eternally enjoy thee Amen CHAP. 10. Upon a Journey undertaken and the many dangers incident thereunto I Am now going from mine own home and know not whether I shall ever return God I know hath set a pâ—riod to my dayes beyond which I cannot pass but when or where or how my life shall end I am uncertain Many are the dangers that attend this sinfull life and many more my sins that have deserv'd them I can neither number the one nor foresee the other this is the wretched and the sad condition of my body and without unfeigned sorrow for my sins the much more wofull case of my distressed soul Lord there is nothing so sweet as thy love nothing so safe as thy protection and yet I have carelessy neglected the one and thou mayst now justly deny me the other thou hast woed me to mercy and I have refused to come thou hast graciously invited me by thy continuall preservations by thy fatherly sustentations by thy gentle corrections by thy faithfull promises and thy rich performances Blessed Lord how wonderfull are thy compassions towards me when I am unthankfull for thy many favours when I am unmindfull of mine own miseries even then thou graciously providest for me and yet for all this I have not hitherto resolved seriously to come unto thee Such and so many are my sins so great is my unthankfulness that I now tremble to appear before thee and yet so tender is thy mercy to me that thou again allurest me to comfort and contentment Lord into the blessed bosom of thy love I cast my self for safety and protection and in the midst of danger even in death it self will joyfuliy rely upon thee For thou O Lord art my strong rock and fortress unto which I will alwaies resort Lord keep me as the apple of thine eye hide me under the shaddow of thy wings Strengthen my weak faith against the strong assaults of Satan support and comfort me in all the fears and terrors of mine own accusing conscience protect and keep me in this present journey let thy holy Angels be my blessed Guardians to protect me in life to preserve me in death to assist me after death O let me never grieve those blessed Spirits which though invisibly yet most assuredly are my attendants Lord as thou hast given them readyness and cheerfulness of mind to watch my preservation and further my salvation so give me carefulness and constancy of soul to joy them in my life and conversation And seeing Lord I cannot know my hour of dissolution O teach me so to number my days that I may apply my heart unto heavenly wisdom that I may obtain a sweet assurance of thy love in Christ unfeigned sorrow for my sins a sincere and constant heart to thy service and a cheerfull readiness at thy call Amen CHAP. 11. Containing pious Meditations and zealous Ejaculations after a Journey I Am now by Gods gracious providence returned safe unto mine earthly home but am still travelling to my heavenly There is nothing in this life but labour and sorrow nothing in that but rest and happiness and yet I dote upon the one and neglect the other Lord if my treasure were with thee my heart would be there allso When thou givest me more knowledge of thee I shall have more desire to come unto thee When my sins have made me more sensible of mine own misery thy Grace I trust will make me more capable of thy sweet mercy Lord if this vain unquietness be so refreshing to my mortall body how truly blessed will thy heavenly rest be to mine immortall soul When thou Lord wilt wipe away all tears from mine eyes all akings from my heart when there shall be no more death neither sorrow nor crying nor any more pain when soul and body shall triumphantly and joyfully repose themselves in thee for ever when they shall drink freely of the rivers of thy pleasures and be for ever satisfied with the fatness of thy house I confess my self unworthy to enjoy this outward rest in this mine earthy home much more unworthy to enjoy that inward rest that sweet assurance of a lively hope to be partaker of eternall rest How wretched is my body without this outward quietness How much more wre ched is my soul without thee Thou O Lord art my shield to defend me my staff to uphold me my food to sustain me my wine to glad me my beloved to embrace me my pleasure to delight me my joy to ravish me my sweet and sate repose for ever to refresh me Let this teach me Lord to fix my thoughts on heaven and heavenly things to use this world soberly in thee and to thee to view it truly as it is a barren wilderness a transitory vain and empty thing far inconsistent with my reall happiness to desire nothing to enjoy nothing in the creature but onely in and unto thee the great Creator so shall no vain pleasure bewitch me no unjust profit beguil me no sudden sorrow dismay me no terrors of conscience affright me To thee O thou soveraign of my soul do I devote the remnant of my sinfull dayes to love thee to praise thee to honour thee to rest in thee for ever Lord wean me from the sins and miseries of this life and raise my thoughts to immortality Let the sweetness of thy heavenly joyes relieve the harshness of my worldly sorrows that misery may
not only safety inviolable but peace untterable safety in life and sweetness in death And now Lord when I enquire for what cause thou givest me all this I find nothing but thy meer love unto me when I ask what thou requirest for all this I hear thee demand no thing but the return of love what is more easy what more sweet than love and what object more aimable than that glorious being that is the perfection of al love that love the beauty of al perfection Thou canst not give Lord what thou hast not the glory of thy creation is but a glimps of that grater glory of thine essence Lord who can deny thee Love how sweet is this yoak how light this burden when I love thee I enjoy thee and my self in thee I possess thee I rest in thee for ever O my God all that thou givest mee all that thou requirest of mee is to make mee happy to thee be glory for ever Amen Blessed Lord All this I joyfully confess thou hast done for mee and yet the whole course of my corrupt life hath been nothing elce but a continued Rebellion against thee mine Eyes full of Adultery my tongue of Corrupt communication my hands of oppression mine eares open to iniquity my heart full of hypocricy my feet Lame in thy paths and swift to walk in the wayes of sinners my whole man nothing elce but the very body of death and destruction I have sinned against precepts against promises against mercies against judgments against the checks of mine own conscience and the blessed motions of thy holy Spirit I have even tempted my temptations by making daily and hourely provisions for sin and have been so farr from sorrowing for all this that I have resolved to continue yet still And yet so great is thy compassion towards mee that still thou storest up new mercies for mee Lord I bewail my weakness I lament my willfulness I abhorr my filthiness I heartily desire and earnestly endeavour to unrip my soul to ransack my heart to unlock the very secrets of my thoughts that I may have all my sins continually before mee even in their worst appearances and I may loath them and leave them and obtain thy gratious pardon for them I confesse Lord that I am utterly unworthy to enjoy this blessed light which I have so much abused to thy great dishonour much more the light of Grace by which thou leadest me to that of Glory and that it were more just with thee for ever to deprive me of these happy lights and to expose me to the terrours of eternall darknesse Lord I have finned and cannot chuse but sin I am a great and grievous sinner and yet I am thy child have pity upon me have pity upon me for I am in misery into the bosome of thy tender love I thrust my sinfull soul for safety and protection O let not thy justice triumph in my ruine but thy mercy in my deliverance so shalt thou have the glory and I the sweetnesse of mine eternall happinesse Hear me O Lord and help me for thy name sake for thy promise sake for thy Sons sake Amen CHAP. 3. Vpon the consideration of Divine Providence A Meditation for Noon Blessed God WIthout thy holy providence no creature can subsist by thine Allmighty power they were created out of nothing and if thou shouldst not sustain them they must needs return to nothing how wisely how wonderfully doest thou guide and govern these inferiour creatures All things are at once disposed of by thee and move successively to their appointed ends but above all how gratiously hast thou provided for the good of man what varieties of food how secretly how sweetly disposed it to sustentation No creature can be nourishing without thee and with thee I enjoy not onely nutriment but delectation how sweet is this thy goodnesse to my body how much more sweet thy mercy to my soul and if thy temporall refreshments are so good how ravishing is that celestiall food with which thy Saints and Angels are delighted Lord how undeserving am I of these thy many favours Thou givest rain to the earth and it becometh fruitfull thou loadest me daily with thy blessings and loe I am unthankâ—â—â— even those creatures that are insensible are daily nourisht into augmentation and man alone whom thou hast made to live for ever contents himself with daily diminution This wofully appears by my deadness and dulness in my Christian calling by my back wardness to Holy Duties by my carelesnesse and coldnesse in prayer wearinesse in reading irkomenesse in meditation by my faint Hope sick Faith luke-warm Love frozen Charity lame Patience languishing Zeal and all those other visible decayes of Goodness which are none other than the very symptomes of a dying soul Ah now Lord how miserably deformed must I needs appear in thy fight that am thus ugly in mine own Thou that hadst compassion on me when I was in my blood and then saidst unto me Live that hast washed me clean from sin and pollution and espoused me into thine own bolom wilt thou allso love me in death Wilt thou court me in the grave How justly mightest thou for ever leave me to mine own ruin that can so easily so willingly forsake thee for the pleasures of sin and yet how sweetly how affectionately doest thou order all things for me Even my very sins invite me to a more happy to a nearer Union with thee To thee therefore O my God the life of my life the very being and assured comfort of my sinfull soul and wretched body do I address my self for mercy and forgiveness I confess my self unworthy of thy gracious providence in sustaining this frail and infirm body much more unworthy O Lord of thine unspeakable love in reviving relieving imbracing my deformed soul Blessed Lord who am I of whom thou art thus tenderly compassionate When I was in the womb I was defiled with sin when I came out of it I was covered with shame the World bewitched me the Flesh besotted me the Devill beguiled me Lord when no eye pittied me then thou badst mercy on me and now at last when I am run from thee when I have adulterated my first Love when I am become poor and wretched and miserable and blind and naked thou freely forgivest me thou callest me thy fair one and givest me thy love O my God I admire thy Goodness I deplore and abhor mine own wretchedness O let the sweetness of thy love in Christ inflame the dying sparks of my benummed soul to praise thee without ceasing Expatiatc my narrow thoughts with day'y contemplation of my heavenly home with joyfull expectation of the sweet fruition of Eternity O give me such a blessed raptasie of soul that I may live above the reach of humane misery and reign with thee hereafter in immortall glory CHAP. 4. Upon the consideration of the sinfulness shortness and uncertaintie of life A Meditation suited to the Evening