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death_n body_n soul_n torment_n 4,875 5 9.1881 4 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A02864 The sanctuarie of a troubled soule written by I.H. Hayward, John, Sir, 1564?-1627. 1601 (1601) STC 13003.5; ESTC S122989 30,167 266

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to his feast I coulde neyther see nor sorrowe for my sinnes did not he both enlighten my vnderstanding and soften my sences Hee hath not enlightened my vnderstandinge to drowne it in darknes he hath not softned my sences because he could not breake them and why then hath hee thus wakened the one and weakened the other It is euen soe hee that hath hetherto in patience expected mee doeth now in pittie call me Speake then Lord speake vnto thy seruant thunder into the inner eare of my harte breake my deafenesse that I may heare thy voice Lorde thou lookest for mine amendmente that I may haue thy fauour and I looke for thy fauour that I may amende Woe is mee how longe haue I staied Alas how late doe I come how slowlye doe I hasten howe doeth my resolution stick betweene loathnesse and necessitie woe is me wretch how cunningly doth the deuell seeke to delay mee what arte hath he vsed to keepe the line from breaking wherat the fish was caught not drawing him violently but letting him play vpon the hooke which hee soe greedely had swallowed O my God the sunne of my life hath passed his Meridian and I am now in the after noone of my age the night of nature will come fast vpon mee when death as Gods sergeant will arrest my bodie vpon debt to nature her selfe my soule vpon trespasse committed against God The one hee will binde hand and foote and committe close prisoner to the graue the other he will arraigne in the high court of heauen where God shall bee both partie and iudge to aunsweare to all obiections as well of errour as of contempt At this houre of death when the sinnfull soule beginneth to bee loosed from the fetters of flesh O good God howe is it troubled what terrours are presented vnto it Then beginneth it to throwe the thoughtes freely into euery corner of the conscience to see the sinnes which it hath done to perceiue the vengeance that it hath deserued to consider that the time of repentance is then at an end and that it is set vpon the immoueable pointe of passage to a most stricte triall vncertaine howe the best actions that it hath done shall bee examined It is desirous to stay it is compelled to goe and as it often happeneth that whilest one thinketh too much of dooing he leaueth to doe the effect of his thinking soe whilest it lamenteth the losse of all the time that is past it looseth that little which then remaineth Looking backe it esteemeth the whole race which it hath runne as a short steppe looking forward it behouldeth the infinite space of eternytie wherin it hath to continue lifting vp the minde to heauen it discouereth a most bright beautifull glorie againe castinge it downe vpon the earth it seeth all thinges enfoulded in a mistie darknesse Heereupon a new swarme of thoughts stingeth the minde It lamenteth that it was soe chained with the enchauntmentes of a momentanie estate as scarce to thinke vpon the condition which neuer shall haue end that to satisfie the flesh which is to be a nest of wormes it hath neglected the spirite which was to haue bin a companion of Angells that it hath lost for soe short a shewe the eternall substance of pleasure that it hath exchanged the treasure of immortall glorie for the trash of floating vanitie O if it had but a smal time more of amendment how seriously would it conuerte what a sharpe and seuere course would it set into but it is like vnto a horse desirous to runne miserably spurred but soe short reined that hee cannot stirre or like vnto those who in their dreames are taken with some fearfull vision which sweate with payne and striue to crie for helpe but cannot finde any strength to crie In the meane time the head shooteth the back aketh the hart panteth the throate ruttleth the tongue faultreth the breath shortneth the flesh trembleth the veines beate the hart stringes crack the eyes wex dimme the nose sharpe the browes harde the cheekes colde and wanne the lippes pale the handes numme the iointes stiffe the whole bodie is in a colde sweat the strength fainting the life vanished and death drawing on Neither will the children and friendes for whose sake the sick shall often thinke them selues damned for beare in this instant of extremitie but continually like flesh flies they will offer molestation Whilst these summoners of death doe execute their office all the wicked actions wordes and thoughts are broght into presence they are heaped together and aggrauated to the vttermost they giue the conscience many a colde pull and lie vpon the hart as heavie as leade Faine would the sinner turne away his eye but hee shall bee compelled to behold them they will all crie vnto him wee are thy workes wee will goe with thee Then shall the conscience sharplye accuse the memory giue bitter euidence reason shall sit as iudge feare shall stand as executioner and scarce is there any seuere sentence in all the bible against sinne which the deuell will not bring into minde vrging euery poynt and amplifying it by construction Then will resolution bee turned to trembling pride into basenesse confidence into despaire Then will bee a greate difference in iudgment from that which men beare commonly in this worlde in soe much as the sinner shall be forced to cry and confesse we simple men thought their life to be but madnesse whose end wee now esteeme most honourable but wee haue wearied our selues in craggye waies wee are worne out in pursuing vanity and the waies of the Lorde wee haue not knowne Neuer did tirant exercise his rage with greatet cruelty vpon anye that hee most hated then the miserable sinner shall then vpon him selfe in iustly condemninge in vainly acknowledging in vnprofitably lamenting the errours of his actions whilest the paines of parting shall drawe the powers of the minde from true repentance All vaine pleasures are then at an end and as quite forgotten as if they had neuer bin at all Yea euery wicked delighte shall geue sharp twitches to the soule especially whē it considereth that it is to endure the smart for manye thinges wherof it must leaue the plesure to others Somtimes the sinner more able to abide death then the feare of death wisheth to bee discharged from beeinge guided by soe euell a soule not in full hope that his tormentes shall thereby either end or abate but according to the nature of greife the present being most painfull hee desireth to chang and to put in aduenture the ensuing But when he doth perceiue infinite legions of deuells prepared to receiue him and the horrours of hell open for his entertainment then is hee in a maze of amazement then like one that houldeth a wolfe by the eare bitten whilest hee holdeth and slaine when hee lett goe Well then secure and sencelesse soule howsoeuer the deuell woulde beare thee in hande as hee did thy first parentes
not thy iustice and my desertes but remember thy mercies and my miseries thinke not vpon thy hate towardes offenders but thinke vpon thy loue towardes thy creatures cast thy seuere eye of reuenge vpon thy sonne but looke vpon me with thy eye of pitty O deare God hell is alreadie full and what profite is there in my distructiō Also many millions of sinners will neuer come vnto thee will neuer cal nor care for thy helpe so that if thou reiectest the repentant and sorrowfull sinner who then shall bee saued and whome wilte thou f●●de righteous if 〈◊〉 iudgest without mercie When I was not O Lord thy fingers framed mee and thou neither hatest nor contemnest any thinge that thou hast made When I was a captiue of the deuill a slaue of hell thou didest send thy beloued sonne to die for my redemption and do not now I beseech thee cast that away which thou h●●● purchased at soe ●●gh a price When I walked in my owne wicked waies thou didst patiently endure me mightily preserue me and graciously call mee and wilt thou not now beestow one louinge looke vpon mee Why then O louing God looke vpon thy beloued sonne behold what hee hath suffered of thy goodnesse call him to thy remembrāce for whom thy will his obedience did cause him to suffer Behold his bitter agonies wherein his bodie was sprinkled with a bloodie sweate beeholde his backe torne with whips his head pricked with thornes his face defiled with spitting behold his blessed body so strained vpon the crosse that all his bones might be numbred behold his harmlesse handes his vndefiled feete pierced with sharpe nailes behold his naked side strooke through with a speare behold the aboundance of blood which gushed forth of those holy fountaines which blood still streameth fresh in thy sight and now pleadeth for my pardon Beholde O gracious God how his feeling was possessed with paine his hearing with reproach his eies with scorne his tast with gall beholde howe his neck bowed his heade hung his breast beat how his sight waxed dimme his countenāce pale his legs armes stiffe how hee groaned how hee gasped and gaue vp the ghost Behold the preist behold the sacrifice euen the lambe vndefiled gloriously imbrued with his owne blood Gracious and mercifull God by this thy sonne by this my Sauiour I most humbly beeseech thee to looke fauourably vpon me encline thine eares towardes me hide not thy face now my soule is troubled Graciouslie receiue the lost sheepe which strayinge from thy pastures through sinne and flying from thy presence through a guiltie conscience hee hath louinglye sought and ioyfullye doth bring vnto thee vpon his own shoulders Heare mee O God of all power turne towardes mee and let thy mercies accept his merits for full satisfaction of my misdeedes O infinite mercie thou hast sett vs a way and giuen vs a light thou hast threaned vs the paines of hell and promised vs the ioies of heauen now pierce my flesh with thy feare that I may auoide the one and inflame my soule with thy loue that I may attain the other Grante I praye thee that as longe traueilers are therby taught to loue their owne cuntrey soe my former err●urs may henceforth bee a meane to hould mee in the right path that beeing led by thee walking through thee I may come vnto thee and rest in thee for wee sillie wormes are vnable to enter into thine eternitie vnlesse thou who hast created vs doest guide vs in Saue O God who desirest not the deth of a sinner saue my sinnefull soule which flieth frō thy feareful iustice to thy comfortable mercies from the desert of my sinne to the desert of thy Sonne This O God is easie to thy power and vsuall to thy mercie and agreeable to thy will Such are the witlesse wilfull right as is the heedles flie Which kils it selfe hurtes his sight has hath her in his eie Sperate miseri Cauete faelices The death of Saintes is precious Psal. 125. Miserable is the death of Sinners Psal 53. The III. Deuotion The guiltines of sinne and the consideration of Death calleth the sinner to call vpon God for his mercy in Iesu Christ. O Most high most holye moste mightye most mercifull most good most goodly most louinge most fearefull and terrible God the Creator the renuer the maintainer of all thinges whome to know is to bee wise whome to serue is to raigne whome to loue is the life and happinesse of the soule behold I pore wretch to thee who art both rich and liberall I miserable to thee who art both pittifull and plentifull do draw neere behold a hunger-starued begger knocketh at thy doore open vnto mee O honourable householder without whome all aboundance is beggerie open I say thy mercies to my miseries and although I am not worthy to sitte at thy feast with thy sons yet with the basest of thy seruantes let me bee refreshed with some broken pieces that are taken from thy table Thou hast commaunded vs O gratious God to knock to aske and to seeke whereuppon thou hast promised to open to geue and to bee founde beholde now my sighinge doth seeke thee my teares crie vnto thee and the groanes of my payned soule do knocke at the gate of thy mercies behold Lord I am desirous to doe thy will performe thou I besech thee thy word And first O Lorde I acknowledge against my selfe that I was conceiued in iniquitie and borne in miserie but thou of thy free loue diddest cleanse mee thou diddest sanctifie me thou didst through faith on my part and mercy on thyne betroath thy selfe vnto me Yet I vnmindfull of so greate goodnes haue since with many a foule fact distained my selfe and dishonored thee not dreading thy displeasure whole wrath maketh the deuells to quake I was borne in necessary but I plūged my selfe in voluntarie sinnes I made no conscience in offending thee feared not to forgett thy lawe Notwithstandinge thou accordinge to thy wonted mercies diddest not banish mee from thy protection but as though I had daylye and duly obserued thy will thou diddest bountifullye heape thy benifites vppon mee so much vndeserued of mee as not desired When I sinned against thee the deuill was readie to haue made a pray of mee I was content I was desirous to haue perished with him but thou O Lord diddest driue backe him and draw backe me not onely without either my request or knowledge but very much against my mind When I was in daunger of death both by sickenesse casualties and my soule was so rocked a sleepe in sinnefull securitie so burdened with the weight of wicked actions that it must needes haue suncke downe into hell thy grace stoode by mee thy power did preserue both my body from death and my soule from damnation I did offend thee but thou diddest defend mee I did deserue death but thou diddest preserue life I did not regard thee when thou