but also traiterously inclined The ioyning of Gods mercy and iustice together is thus First it pleased him to be mercifull vnto such and such Exod. 33.19 Secondly he appointed that they vnto whō he purposed to shew mercy should be ioyned by the holy Ghost vnto his onely Son who for that purpose was at such a time to take vnto him a body and a soule and so being both God and man after a most holy and guiltlesse life to suffer a cruell death to purchase for them the forgiuenesse of sinnes and cleansement from their wicked inclination Tit. 2.14 God is blessed fully blessed exceedingly blessed He that is fully blessed hath freedom from all manner of things which may giue him any discontent and not onely so but also wanteth nothing that may content or delight him Such is the blessednesse of Gods chosen seruants not in this world but in heauen for the Bible saith they are blessed which die in the faith and fauour of the Lord that so they may rest from their labours and their works follow them Reu. 14.13 Their resting from labours is their freedome from all causes of discontent Their works following them is the crown of euerlasting contentment giuen vnto them in regard of their workes and farre surpassing all possible merit in them This blessednes God giueth vnto his Saints The blessednes which he hath in himselfe differeth from this not onely as the cause from the effect but also in two other speciall points First God hath his blisse of himselfe and therefore it is said of him that he onely hath immortalitie that is absolute and necessarie freedome from death 1. Tim. 6.16 Also of him it is said that he hath the well of life Psal 36.9 that is to say hee is the very first cause of life and of all perfection Secondly the blessednes of God is beyond all measure most exceedingly exceeding for as his vnderstanding is infinit that is endlesse so are all his perfections If God be most exceedingly blessed why doe we oftentimes say Blessed be God as though wee wished blessednesse vnto him We doe praise and magnifie his blessednes in minde and in word by acknowledging and publishing the same yea and the party that heartily loueth God is so full of good will towards him that he cannot but wish that if it were possible God might bee a thousand thousand times more happie and blessed then he is And such is the most honourable and gracious kindnes of God that he taketh this wish in verie good part So the great men of this world accept the good will of their poore friends God is glorious Glorie is properly the goodly shewe seeming sight or appearance of any thing It also many times signifieth the famous report of some notable goodnesse In both these meanings glorie is a title most proper vnto God Touching goodly shew the glorie of God appeareth two wayes in himselfe and in his workes In God himselfe there is such a shining excellent maiestie that the very angels are not able to endure the full appearance thereof as we may perceiue by the vision of the Prophet Esay who did see certaine verie glorious angels before the face of God couering their faces Esa 6.2 In all and euery of Gods workes appeareth a shew of some one or more of his excellent properties as of wisedome power iustice mercy c. Esa 6.3 The whole earth is full of his glorie Therefore S. Paul saith the very heathen people knewe God by his works because his eternall power and diuine properties do in his works by the creation of the world euidently appeare Rom. 1. ver 20. Hee whose port is truely glorious is worthy of a glorious report and that principally is our Lord God of whose most stately port and royall behauiour there is a notable report Psal 104.1 Blesse thee Lord O my soule O Lord my God thou art verie great thou art cloathed with honour and maiestie c. God appearing in his works so gloriously our dutie is to take knowledge of his glorie and to do what we can to make the same knowne vnto others One great cause of vndeuotion and coldnes in religion is the not considering of Gods works specially that most admirable worke of redemption manifested in the Gospel Psal 107.43 Whosoeuer is wise and will marke these things euen they shall vnderstand the louing kindnes of the Lord. 2. Cor. 3.18 But we all with open face beholding as in a glasse the glorie of the Lord are changed into the same likenes from glory to glorie euen as by the spirit of the Lord. 2. Cor. 4.6 For God who commanded the light to shine out of darkenes hath shined in our hearts to giue the light of the knowledge of the glorie of God in the face of Iesus Christ How shall wee make the glorie of God knowne vnto others Two waies First by the holynesse of our life that so others may see the glorious working of Gods grace in vs Matth. 5.16 Secondly by the due praising of God that others may heare the report of his glorious acts and doings Psas 145.12 To make knowne vnto the sonnes of men his mightie acts and the glorious maiestie of his kingdome It is a question whether such professed Christians and specially Church-ministers as haue by open prophanenes or any vnholy behauiour blemished the glory of God be not bound to make open cōfession that so what in them is they may salue and remedie the wide wounds which they haue giuen vnto the doctrine and religion of God and Christ My iudgement in this point shall I trust in God appeare by my practise both in this booke and also in the residue of my life In the meane time this I professe my poore soule doth vehemently desire to giue glorie vnto God in the reuengefull abasing of my selfe for the greiuous displeasure great dishonour which I haue all my life long caused and done vnto his most holy maiestie Thus much of the name Iehouah the Lord. Thy God c. The language wherein God spake these words readeth thus thy Gods as speaking of more then one This whatsoeuer the poore Iewes say to the contrary sheweth that in God there are more persons then one which persons how many and who they are the good Lord Iesus beeing one of them doth plainly shew in saying vnto his disciples Matth. 28.19 teach all nations baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Sonne and of the holy Ghost The first person is the Father who begetteth the Sonne O most marueilous begetting the Sonne is as olde as the Father the Sonne hath the very selfe-same nature and substance with his Father yea Ioh. 14.10 hee is within his Father and his Father is within him The second person in the godhead is the Sonne who is begotten of the Father as a word is begotten of a mans mind and therfore he is sometime called the Word as also because he maketh the Father and the
am quite disabled that I can doe thee no seruice because my body is full of death Yet according to thy commaundement I will thorough thy grace wholly bend my spirit to serue thee And what seruice my dying body can performe I will put it vnto betaking my selfe euery way to thy good pleasure and most holy will Amen That day in the afternoone I was tormented yet let me say the truth in a manner as it were vnderhand succoured and sustained My back was about and below the kidnies very sore which made mee fearefull of a fit of the stone which from the last Nouember I had not It came many times into my mind to admonish all sorts of people to leaue the most common taking of Gods name in vaine in prating and swearing and cursing O if any that is giuen vnto that horrible sinne knew how deere and precious vse I am driuen to make of Gods name when in hellish torment specially at and after the making of water I haue none other helpe in all the world but to crie out saying O Lord ô God ô Iesu Christ c Whosoeuer you are that shall read or heare this stay a little while I pray you Bethink your selfe well whether the time will not come you know not how soon wherein you shall be forced to call vpon God for present help yea you ought to call vpon him euery day euery houre for your life and all that you haue or hope to haue is at his mercie In the turning of a hand hee can take all that is good from you turne you away into all manner of misery Then if it stand vpon his pleasure what shall become of you and specially when you are in aduersity or anguish whether you shall be releeued yea or no follow my counsell keep his name in store and by no meanes endure to write or speake it in any idle fashion much lesse in swearing tearing and cursing like a limme of the deuil What man is so madde that hauing a most pretious restoratiue able to cure him of any disease will hurle it into the dust fling it against the walls or tread it vnder his feete No you would lay it most charily as a most speciall treasure whereby you may in time of need help your selfe or your freind O then consider that of all restoratiues the name of God passes and excells For it is a soueraigne remedy against all euils both of soule and body Therefore the Psalme saith Psal 124.8 Our helpe is in the name of the Lord who made heauen and earth In few words take this for certen If you meane to haue helpe in the name of God vse it like a most pretious restoratiue Make not an idle word of it take it not in vaine least when you haue neede to call vpon it you call in vaine because the Lord remembers that you made a vaine idle word of his name That euening I did but walke a little in my chamber it made my water bloody what a miserable state am I in Thursday morning a matter that I read gaue me occasion to consider of an offence which many in Derbie lately tooke by the leauing out of the Crosse at the baptising of a child True it is that I neuer left out that signe nor euer will leaue it vntill the Church giue warrant Yet this I must needs confesse A many people thinke that baptisme is not perfect without the signe of the Crosse Yea more They thinke that there is some holy vertue in it The iudgement of God is a great deepe But the commanding will of God is in his word very plaine Hee would not haue poore people to beleeue that holinesse is there to be had where it is not They which first deuised any ceremony without ground of Gods word how good soeuer their intent was little knew what inconuenience would in processe of time grow thereupon Did you neuer see a house so ful of smoke that a man might sooner haue been stifled and blinded then well warmed That is typhos superstition that is the religon of many rude people If any say it is to be required that such people haue good instruction I say againe what instruction are they like to haue whose guides are either vnable to instruct themselues or suffered to be otherwise imploied I once heard Bishop Barlowe saie that touching higher places which is too too generall and extendeth in my simple obseruation farre further then hee intended it His speech in effect was thus The time was that fit men were sought for But now there is not such neede because many proffer themselues How it is in the higher region I know not But in the lower it is commonly thus And so long as it is thus a foole may prophecie that sound holinesse is not likely to thriue In the afternoon my strangurie was very keene my right foote burned with a painfull heat yet see the goodnes of God still a way is made that I may endure it euen when I am readie to crie out because of deadlie torment I am fully perswaded that had not this disease come vpon me yea and preuailed more and more euen to the putting of me quite out of all hope of recouery I should neuer haue beene diuorced and separated from the loue of this world Notwithstanding all that is yet done sin cleaueth vnto my soule like birdlime I haue a world of trouble within my selfe to master the olde setled rebellious thoughts of my heart which are so sturdie and so deuillish specially one my most naturall sinne that were it not for the verie grace of God in Iesus Christ I should bee quite out of all hope of subduing them Let me come into company and there is such an vprore in mine heart that whatsoeuer I can doe is al too little to keep it from breaking out into open rebellion against God Whosoeuer beeing an old sinner doth put himselfe into the continuall conscionable practise of repentance he shall plainely perceiue the sinnes of his heart to be like vnto a company of desperate rebels besieged in a castle yeeld they will not vntill they be famished out They haue succour from the remembrance and from corrupted imagination from the outward sences specially the eies and the eares and who can say how full of temptations the world is temptations fitted to worke vpon the sight and the hearing It is well worth obseruation for any man that knoweth white from blacke and sinne from grace to marke when he comes in companie with any how soone the seuerall wicked corruptions which are both in him and in the other wil conspire together to betray them both to make them sinne against God at least in a deale of idle talke I cannot call to minde that euer I was in company with any and drawne into a familiar communication but that I was also drawne into sinne Yea but some will say idle talke is a veniall sinne wherein they may pleade
and all others that I may euerlastingly praise thy name therefore through Iesus Christ thine onely Sonne my Lord and Sauiour Amen Tuesdaie morning the strangury pained me verie grieuously and my feete were in such an extreame heate that I was forced to stand barefooted In this burning torment I prayed O most mightie and most mercifull Lord God my Maker and Sauiour of thy most tender compassion most excellent mercie vouchsafe I beseech thee to ease me of this filthy tormenting disease lay vpon me in stead thereof what crosse what iudgement thou wilt Me thinks thou saiest Thou foolish man put away thy folly drawe neere vnto me and I will draw neere vnto thee O good Lord blessed be thy name In the name of Iesus Christ I will drawe neere vnto thee I will henceforth be alwaies verie mindefull that I am before thy face nothing in the world no not any companie shall put me out of that thought Beeing in companie so often as I perceiue my minde to turne it selfe from waiting vpon thee I will presently breake out into these words Fie vpon me what a forgetfull foole am I Good Lord forgiue me and correct mee Then if any aske the reason why I spake those words I will very plainly tell it Most gracious Lord giue me grace thus to doe and blesse me in so doing through Iesus Christ thine onely Sonne my Lord and Sauiour Amen The staires to my chamber are the comming vp vnto three other chambers So oft as I heard the noise of any bodies feet comming vp the staires I was very fearefull that some or other were comming vnto me and as glad if I heard them goe by the doore to any of the other chambers How men may iudge of this I know not but my conscience doth assuredly certifie mee how the Lord God iudgeth of it That forenoon some company came to me staied long wherefore though I in some sort looked to my soule yet could I not auoide bodily hurt for I hauing to ease my paine taken much drinke before the companie came being forced painfully to hold my water when they were gone there came such things from out of my body as if many skinnes within were pilled off Wherefore I fully perswaded my selfe that I was possessed with a windie fretting inflammation which of necessitie must very shortly kill me and that as I thought most likely by the perishing of my bladder In the afternoone I praied thus Most blessed Lord very true it is that the doore of heauen is in comparison much lesse then the eie of a needle An entrance there is but most hardly to be gotten The beginning of an vnfained godly life is the hardest worke in all the world Then what meaneth Christ in saying that his yoake is easie and his burden light His meaning is that true repentance and right faith do ease and lighten a loaden conscience There is no remedy but sinne must needes be put off else there is no saluation no heauen to be had Woe is me How can a black-moore put off his blacknesse It is vnpossible Yea but thy Sonne hath told vs that all things are possible with thee True it is O Lord I beleeue it But the question is what thou wilt doe Therefore with the poor leper I say vnto thee O Lord if thou wilt thou canst make me cleane The Spirit answereth me saying To day if thou wilt heare his voice harden not thy heart I must striue to vnharden mine heart in obeying thy word which word thou hast graciously made knowne vnto mee to the end that I should obey it in putting off my sinne But if knowing thy will I continue disobedient to thee O what a most dreadfull measure of euerlasting vengeance shall speedily fall vpon me O Lord none can vnharden mine heart but onely thou Then how can I vnbarden it If thou euer vnharden it thou wilt make mee to vnharden it for thou workest the will and the deede in them that shall bee saued They must will and doe that which is pleasing vnto thee The power to will and doe it they must haue from thee Therefore thy seruant Paul aduiseth vs to work out our saluation with feare and trembling that is awfully and carefully to vse the meanes which thou hast appointed that so thy grace may work in vs obedience vnto thy will which is the only way of saluation Good Lord in thy Sonnes name I will striue to vse the meanes which thou hast appointed for the breaking of mine hard heart Blessed bee thy name I thinke no man or woman in all the world can haue more warning to deny himselfe and hasten repentance then I haue To thy mercie and good pleasure I wholly betake my selfe thorough Iesus Christ Amen Amen Wednesday morning I was very tormentingly pained in the water passage and therefore prayed thus O blessed Lord God this soule disease tormenteth me verie sore O that it may be pleasing vnto thy most glorious goodnes euen in such measure to ease me of this disease as by thy grace I will from this time forward deny my selfe and giue glory vnto thy truth Me thinkes thou sayest Goe to then See that thou conscionably deny thy selfe putting thy whole trust in me And for thy comfort thou shalt be sure to finde these my words true I am mercifull My mercie is vpon them that feare me Most gracious Lord blessed be thy name I beleeue thy words And nowe thorough the grace of Iesus Christ I will steadfastly set my selfe to deny my selfe O Lord be mercifull vnto mee that I may thoroughly doe it And then thy will be done Amem About an houre after I had so praied vnto God my paine of the spleene came vpon mee in such sort that mine eies were much dazled mine heart deadly vexed my limms faintly wearied Beeing in this state I praied thus O good Lord what shall I doe This my deathfull body cannot possibly hold out nor be seruiceable vnto thee in any good measure according to my calling O my good Lord what shall I doe I haue no warrant to expect any extraordinary releeuing of my body And this deadlines putteth my poore soule out of comfort Mee thinkes thou saiest Let thy soule be steadfastly vprightly bent to serue mee for so it shall receiue comfort from mee Touching thy bodie doe me what seruice thou canst and betake it vnto mee to dispose therof as I see good By greiuing at thy diseasednes thou makest it to be worse Therfore be only zealous againg thy sinnes the cause of all thy miserie But take heart of grace and sustaine thy weake spirit hath assured confidence of my mercy towards thee O my good Lord most wonderfull in mercy and Almightie in power with all humble thankefulnes I receiue these words from thee My soule is certenly perswaded that thy purpose towards mee is according to those words Blessed Lord it greiueth me that I hane so long displeased dishonoured thee and now