in one Hence it s noted in Scripture as the greatest of earthly Sorrows Jer. 6. 26. O daughter of my people gird thee with Sackcloth and wallow thy self in Ashes Make thee mourning as for an onely Son most bitter Lamentation Yea so deep and penetrating is this grief that the holy Ghost borrows it to express the deepest spritual troubles by it Zech. 12. 10 They shall mourn for him namely Christ whom they pierced as one mourneth for an only Son Fourthly And yet to heighten the afflliction it is super added ver 12. And she was a Widdow So that the staff of her age on whom she leaned was broken She had now none left to comfort or assist her in her helpless comfortless State of Widdowhood which is a condition not only void of comfort but exposed to oppression and contempt Yea and being a Widdow the whole burden lay upon her alone she had not an Husband to comfort her as Elkana did Hannah in 1 Sam. 1. 8. Why weepest thou and why is thy heart grieved â—m not I more to thee than ten Sons This would have been a great relief but her Husband was dead as well as her Son both gone and she only surviving to lament the loss of those comforts that once she had Her calamities came not single but one after another and this reviving and aggravating the former This was her case and condition when the Lord met her Secondly Let us consider the Councel which Christ gives her with respect to this hersad and sorrowful case And when the Lord saw her he had Compassion on her and said unto her Weep not Relieving and Supporting words wherein we shall consider The Occasion Motive Councel it self First The occasion of it and that was his seeing of her This meeting at the Gate of the City how accidental and occasional soever it seems yet without doubt it was providentially suited to the work intended to be wrought The eye of his Omniscience foresaw her and this meeting was by him designed as an ocâ—â—sion of that famous Miracle which he wrought upon the young man Christ hath a quick eye to discern poor mourning and disconsolate Creatures and though he be now in Heaven and stands out of our sight so that we see him not yet he sees us and his eye which is upon all our troubles still affects his heart and moves his bowels for us Secondly The Motive stirring him up to give this relieving and comfortable Councel to her was his own Compassion She neither expected nor desired it from him but so full of tender pittty was the Lord towards her that he prevents her with unexpected consolation Her heart was nothing so full of compassion for her Son as Christ was for her He bore our infirmities even natural as well as moral ones in the dayes of his flesh and though he be now exalted to the highest glory yet still he continues as merciful as ever and as apt to be touched with the sense of our miseries Heb. 4. 15. Lastly The Councel it self Weep not herein fulfilling the office of a Comforter to them that mourn whereunto he was anointed Isa. 61. 1 2 3. Yet the words are not an absolute prohibition of tears and sorrow he doth not Condemn â—ll mourning as sinful or all expressions of grief for dead Relations as uncomely no Christ would not have his people stupid and insensate he only prohibits the excesses and extravagancies of our sorrows for the dead that it should not be such a mourning for the dead as is found among the Heathens who sorrow without measure because without hope being ignorant of that grand relief by the Resurrection which the Gospel reveals The Resurrection of her Son from the dead is the ground upon which Christ builds her consolation and reliefe Well might he say Weep not when he intended quickly to remove the cause of her tears by restoring him again to life Now though there be somewhat in this case extraordinary and peculiar for few or none that carry their dear children to the grave may expect to receive them again from the dead immediately by a special resurrection as she did I say this is not to be expected by any that now loose their Relations the occasion and reasons of such miraculous special resurrections being removed by a sufficient and full evidence and confirmation of Christs divine power and Godhead Yet those that now bury their Relations if they be such as dye in Christ have as good and sufficient reason to moderate their passions as this mourner had and do as truly come within the reach and compass of this Christs comfortable and supporting councel Weep not as the did For do but consider what of support or comfort can a particular and present Resurrection from the dead give us more than that it is and as it is a Specimen hansell or pledge of the general Resurrection It is not the returning of the soul to its body to live an Animal life again in this world of sin and sorrow and shortly after to undergo the agonies and pains of death again that is in it self any such priviledge as may afford much comfort to the person raised or his Relations It is no priviledge to the person raised for it returns him from rest to trouble from the harbour back again into the Ocean It is matter of trouble to many dying Saints to hear of the likelyhood of their returning again when they are got so nigh to Heaven It was once the case of a godly Minister of this Nation who was much troubled at his return and said I am like a sheep driven out of the storm almost to the fold and then driven back into the storm again or a weary Traveller that is come near his home and then must go back to fetch somewhat he had forgotten or an Apprentice whose time is almost expired and then must begin a new term But to die and then return again from the dead hath less of priviledge than to return only from the brink of the grave for the sick hath not yet felt the agonies and last struggles or pangs ofdeath but such have felt them once and must feel them again they must die twice before they can be happy once and besides during the little time they spend on earth betwixt the first and second dissolution there is a perfect 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 forgetfulness and insensibleness of all that which they saw or enjoyed in their state of separation It being necessary both for them and others that it should be so for themselves its necessary that they may be content to live and endure the time of separation from that blessed and ineffable state quietly and patiently and for others that they may live by faith and not by sense and build upon divine and not humane authority and report So that here you see their agonies and pangs are doubled and yet their life not sweetned by any sense
to restraine prayer and turn thy back upon God Or if thou darest not wholly neglect thy duty yet thy affliction spoyles the success and comfort of it thy heart is wandering dead distracted in prayer and meditation so that thou hast no relief or comfort from it Rouze up thy self Christian and consider This is not right Surely the rod works not kindly now What did thy love to God expire when thy friend expired Is thy heart as cold in duty as his body is in the grave Hath natural death seized him and spiritual deadness seized thee Sure then thou hast more reason to lament thy dead heart than thy dead friend Divert the stream of thy troubles speedily and labour to recover thy self out of this temper quickly least sad experience shortly tell thee that what thou now mournest for is but a trifle to that that thou shalt mourn for hereafter To loose the heavenly warmth and spiritual liveliness of thy affections is undoubtedly a far more considerable loss than to loose the wife of thy bosom or the sweetest child that ever a tender parent laid in the grave Reader If this be thy case Thou hast reason to challenge the first place among the mourners It s better for thee to bury ten sons than to remit one degree of love or delight in God The end of God in smiting was to win thy heart nearer to him by removing that which estranged it How then dost thou cross the very design of God in this dispensation Must God then lose his delight in thy fellowship because thou hast lost thine in the creature Surely when thy troubles thus accompany thee to thy closet they are sinful and extravagant troubles Fourthly Then you may also conclude your sorrows to be excessive and sinful When they so overload and oppress your bodies as to endanger your lives or render them useless and unfit for service Worldly Sorrow works death 2 Cor. 7. 10. that is Sorrow after the manner of worldly men sorrow in a meer carnal natural way which is not relieved by any spiritual reasonings and considerations This falls so heavysometimes upon the body that it sinks under the weight and is cast into such diseases as are never more wrought off or healed in this world Heaviness in the heart of a man makes it stoop saith Solomon Prov. 12. 25. The stoutest body must stoop under heart pressures It is with the mind of man saith one as with the stone Tyrhenus as long as its whole it swimeth but once broken it sinks presently Grief is a moth which getting into the mind will in short time make the body be it never so strong and well wrought a piece like an old seary garment Philosophers and Physitians generally reckon sorrow among the chief causes of shortning life Christ was a man of sorrows and acquainted with griefes and this some think was the reason that he appeared as a man of fifty when he was little more than thirty years old Joh. 8. 57. But his sorrows were of another kind Many a mans Soul is to his Body as a sharp knife to a thin sheath which easily cuts it through and what do we by poreing and pondering upon our troubles but whet the knife that it may cut the deeper and quicker Of all the Creatures that ever God made Devils only excepted man is the most able and apt to be his own tormentor How unmercifully do we load them in times of affliction How do we not only waste their strength by sorrow but deny relief and necessary refreshment They must carry the load but be allowed no refreshment If they can eat the bread of affliction and drink tears they may feed at full but no pleasant bread no quiet sleep is permitted them Surely you would not burden a beast as you do your own bodies you would pitty and relieve a bruit beast groaning and sinking under an heavy burden but you will noc pitty not relieve your own bodies Some mens souls have given such deep wounds to their bodies that they are never like to enjoy many easie or comfortable dayes more whilst they dwell in them Now this is very sinful and displeasing to God for if he have such a tender care for our bodies that he would not have us swallowed up of over much grief no though it be for sin 2 Cor. 2. 7. but even to that sorrow sets bounds How much less with outward sorrow for temporal losses May not your stock of natural strength be imployed to better purposes think you than these Time may come that you may earnestly wish you had that health and strength again to spend for God which you now so lavishly waste and prodigally cast away upon your troubles to no purpose or advantage It was therefore an high point of wisdom in David and Recorded no doubt for our immitation who when the child was dead ceased to mourn but arose washed himself and eat bread 2 Sam. 12. 20. Fifthly When affliction sowres the Spirit with discontent and makes it inwardly grudge against the hand of God then our trouble is full of sin and we ought to be humbled for it before the Lord. Whatever God doth with us or ours still we should maintain good thoughts of him A gracious heart cleaves nearer and nearer to God in affliction and can justifie God in his severest strokes acknowledging them to be all just and holy Psal. 119. 75 I know also that thy Judgements are right and that thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me And hereby the soul may comfortably evidence to it self its own uprightness and sincere love to God Yea it hath been of singular use to some souls to take right measures of their love to God in such tryals to have lovely and well pleased thoughts of God even when he smites us in our nearest and dearest comforts argues plainly that we love him for himself and not for his gifts only And that his interest in the heart is deeper than any creature interest is And such is the comfort that hath resulted to some from such discoveries of their own hearts by close smarting afflictions that they would not part with it to have their comforts whose removal occasioned them given back in lieu of it But to swell with secret discontent and have hard thoughts of God as if he had done us wrong or dealt more severely with us than any O this is a vile temper cursed fruit springing from an evil root a very carnal ignorant proud heart or at least from a very distempered if renewed heart So it was with Jonah when God smote his Gourd Tea saith he I do well to be angry even unto death Jonah 4. 9. Poor man he was highly distempered at this time and out of frame this was not his true temper or ordinary frame but a surprize the effect of a paroxisme of temptation in which his passions had been over-heated Few dare to vent it in such language But how many have their
vain and useless complaints of our misery or the dirt of sinful and wicked complaints of the dealings of the Lord with us The rod of affliction goes round and visits all sorts of persons without difference It is upon the Tabernacles of the just and of the unjust the righteous and the wicked both are mourning under the rod. The godly are not so to be minded as that the other be wholly neglected they have as strong and tender though not as regular affections to their Relations and must not be wholly suffered to sink under their unrelieved burthens Here therefore I must have respect to two sorts of persons whom I find in tears upon the same account I mean the loss of their dear Relations the Regenerate and the unregenerate I am a debtor to both and shall endeavour their support and assistance for even the unregenerate call for our help and pitty and must not be neglected and wholly slighted in their afflictions We must pitty them that can't pitty themselves The Law of God commands us to help a beast if fallen under its burden How much more a man sinking under a load of sorrow I confess uses of comfort to the unregenerate are not ordinarily in use among us and it may seem strange whence any thing of support should be drawn for them that have no special interest in Christ or the promises I confess also I find my self under great disadvantages for this work I cannot offer them those reviving cordials that are contained in Christ and the covenant for Gods afflicted people but yet such is the goodness of God even to his enemies that they are not left wholly without supports or means to allay their Sorrow If this therefore be thy case who readest these lines afflicted and unsanctified mourning bitterly for thy dead friends and more cause to mourn for thy dead soul Christless and graceless as well as childless or friendless no comfort in hand nor yet in hope full of trouble and no vent by prayer or faith to ease thy heart Poor creature thy case is sad but yet do not wholly sink and suffer thy self to be swallowed up of grief thou hast laid thy dear one in the grave yet throw not thy self head-long into the grave after him that will not be the way to remedy thy misery but sit down a while and ponder these three things First That of all persons in the World thou hast most reason to be tender over thy life and health and careful to preserve it for if thy troubles destroy thee thou art eternally lost undone for ever Worldly sorrow saith the Apostle works death And if it works thy death it works thy damnation also for Hell follows that pale horse Revel 6. 8. If a believer dyes there 's no danger of Hell to him the second death hath no power over him but wo to thee if it overtake thee in thy sin beware therefore what thou dost against thy health and life Don't put the candle of sorrow too near that thread by which thou hangest over the mouth of Hell O its far better to be childless or friendless on earth than hopeless and remediless in hell Secondly Own and admire the bounty and goodness of God manifested to thee in this affliction that when death came into thy family to smite and carry off one it had not fallen to thy lot to be the person thy Husband Wife or Child is taken and thou art left Had thy name been in the Commission thou hadst been now past hope O the sparing mercy of God! the wonderful long suffering of God towards thee Possibly that poor creature that is gone never provoked God as thou hast done thy poor child never abused mercies neglected calls treasur'd up the thousandth part of that guilt thou hast done So that thou mightest well immagine it should rather have cut thee down that hadst so provoked God than thy poor little one But oh the admirable patience of God! Oh the riches of long suffering Thou art only warned not smitten by it Is there nothing in this worth thy thankful acknowledgement Is it not better to be in black for another on earth than in the blackness of darkness for ever Is it not easier to go to the grave with thy dead friend and weep there than to go to hell among the damned where there is weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth Thirdly This affliction for which thou mournest may be the greatest mercy to thee that ever yet befel thee in this world God hath now made thy heart soft by trouble shewed thee the vanity of this World and what a poor trifle it is which thou madest thy happiness There is now a dark cloud spread over all thy worldly comforts Now O now if the Lord would but strike in with this affliction and by it open thine eyes to see thy deplorable state and take off thy heart for ever from the vain world which thou now seest hath nothing in it and cause thee to chuse Christ the only abiding good for thy portion If now thy affliction may but bring thy sin to remembrance and thy dead friend may but bring thee to a sense of thy dead soul which is as cold to God and spiritual things as his body is to thee and more loathsome in his eyes than that corps is or shortly will be to the eyes of men Then this day is certainly a day of the greatest mercy that ever yet thou sawest O happy death that shall prove life to thy soul. Why this is sometimes the way of the Lord with men Job 36. 8 9. If they be bound in fetters and helden in cords of affliction then he sheweth them their work and their transgression that they have exceeded he openeth also their ear to discipline and commandeth them that they return from iniquity O Consider poor pensive creature that which stole away thy heart from God is now gone That which eat up thy time and thoughts that there was no room for God soul or eternity in them is gone All the vain expectations thou raisedst up to thy self from that poor creature which now lyes in the dust are in one day perished O what an advantage hast thou now for heaven beyond what ever thou yet hadst If God will but bless this rod thou wilt have cause to keep many a thanksgiving day for this day I pray let these three things be pondred by you I can bestow no more comforts upon you your condition bars the best comforts from you they belong to the people of God and you have yet nothing to do with them I shall therefore turn from you to them and present some choicer comforts to them to whom they properly belong which may be of great use to you in reading if it be but to convince you of the blessed priviledge and state of the people of God in the greatest plunges of troubles in this world and what advantages their interest in Christ gives
can restore it yea double it in kind if he see it convenient for you And if not then 13. Consid. Consider though he should deny you any more comforts of that kind yet he hath far better to bestow upon you such as these deserve not to be named with You have an excellent Scripture to this purpose in Isa. 56. 4 5. For thus saith the Lord unto the Eunuchs that keep my Sabbaths and choose the things that please me and take hold of my Covenant even to them will I give in my house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off Mens names are said to be continued in their Issue in their male Issue especially and consequently to fail in such as wanted Issue Numb 17. 4. And a numerous Issue is deemed no small honour Psal. 127. 4 5. God therefore promiseth here to supply and make good the want of Issue and of whatsoever either honour here or memorial hereafter might from it have accrued to them by bestowing upon them matter of far greater honour and more durable a name better or before the name of Sons and Daughters It 's a greater honour to be a child of God than to have the greatest honour or comfort that ever children afforded their parents in this world Poor heart thou art now dejected by this affliction that lyes upon thee as if all joy and comfort were now cut off from thee in this world A cloud dwells upon all other comforts this affliction hath so imbittered thy soul that thou tastest no more in any other earthly comfort than in the white of an egg O that thou didst but consider the consolations that are with God for such as answer his ends in affliction and patiently wait on him for their comfort He hath comforts for you far transcending the joy of children This some have found when their children have been cut off from them and that in so eminent a degree that they have little valued their comfort in children in comparison with this comfort I will here set down a pregnant instance of the point in hand as I find it recorded by the grave and worthy Author of that excellent book entitled The fulfilling of the Scripture Another notable instance of grace with a very remarkable passage in his condition I shall here mention One Patrick Mackewrath who lived in the West parts of Scotland whose heart in a remarkable way the Lord touched and after his conversion as he shewed to many Christian friends was in such a frame so affected with a new world wherein he was entred the discoveries of God and of a life to come that for some months together he did seldom sleep but was still taken up in wondering His life was very remarkable for tenderness and near converse with God in his walk and which was worthy to be noticed one day after a sharp tryal having his only Son suddenly taken away by death he retired alone for several hours and when he came forth did look so chearfully that to those who asked him the reason thereof and wondered at the same in such a time he told them He had got that in his retirement with the Lord that to have it afterwards renewed he would be content to lose a Son every day Oh what a sweet exchange had he made Surely he had Gold for brass a pearl for a pebble a treasure for a trifle for so great yea and far greater is the disproportion betwixt the sweet light of Gods Countenance and the faint dim light of the best creature-enjoyment Would it please the Lord to make this sun arise and shine upon you now when the stars that shined with a dim and borrowed light are gone down you would see such gain by the exchange as would quickly make you cast in your votes with him we now mentioned and say Lord let every day be such as this funeral day let all my hours be as this so that I may see and taste what I now do How gladly would I part with the dearest and nearest creature-comfort I own in this world The gracious and tender Lord hath his divine Cordials reserved on purpose for such sad hours these are sometimes given before some sharp tryal to prepare for it and sometimes after to support under it I have often heard it from the mouth and found it in the Diary of a sweet Christian now with God That a little before the Lord removed her dear husband by death there was such an abundant out-let of the love of God into her soul for several days and nights following that when the Lord took away her husband by death though he were a gracious sweet temper'd and by her most tenderly beloved husband she was scarce sensible of the stroke but carried quite above all earthly things their comforts and their troubles so that she had almost lost the thoughts of her husband in God And had not the Lord taken this course with her she concluded that blow had not been possible to be born by her she must have sunck without such a preparative A Husband a Wife a Child are great very great things as they stand by other creatures but surely they will seem little things and next to nothing when the Lord shall set himself by them before the soul. And how know you but God hath bid these earthly comforts stand aside this day to make way for heavenly ones It may be God is coming to communicate himself more sweetly more sensibly than evâ—r to your souls and these are the providences which must cast up and prepare the way of the Lord. Possibly Gods meaning in their death is but this Child stand aside thou art in my way and fillest my place in thy parents heart 14. Consid. Be careful you exceed not in your grief for the loss of earthly things considering that Satan takes the advantage of all extreams You cannot touch any extream but you will be touched by that enemy whose greatest advantages lye in assaulting you there Satan is called the Ruler of the darkness of this world Eph. 6. 12. i. e. his Kingdom is supported by darkness Now there is a twofold darkness which gives Satan great advantage the darkness of the mind viz. ignorance and the darkness of the condition viz. trouble and affliction Of the former the Apostle speaks chiefly in that Text but the latter also is by him often improved to carry on his designs upon us When it 's a dark hour of trouble with us then is his fittest season to tempt That cowardly spirit falls upon the people of God when they are down and low in spirit as well as state Satan would never have desired that the hand of God should have been stretched out upon Jobs Person Estate and children but that he promised himself a notable advantage therein to poyson his spirit with vile thoughts of
God Do this saith he and he will curse thee to thy face What the Psalmist observes of natural is as true of metaphorical darkness Psal. 104. 20. Thou makest darkness and it is night wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth the young Lions roar after their prey When its dark night with men its noon-day with Satan i. e. our suffering time is his busiest working time many a dismal suggestion he then plants and grafts upon our affliction which are much more dangerous to us than the affliction it self Sometimes he injects desponding thoughts into the afflicted soul. Then said I I am cut off from before thine eyes Psal. 31. 22. Lam. 3. 18 19. My hope is perished from the Lord remembring my affliction and my misery the wormwood and the gall Sometimes he suggests hard thoughts of God Ruth 1. 20. The Lord hath dealt very bitterly with me Yea that he hath dealt more severely with us than any other Lam. 1. 12. See and behold if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto me wherewith the Lord hath afflicted me in the day of his fierce anger And sometimes murmuring and repining thoughts against the Lord the soul is displeased at the hand of God upon it Jonah was angry at the hand of God and said I do well to be angry even unto death Jonah 4. 9. What dismal thoughts are these And how much more afflictive to a gracious soul than the loss of any outward enjoyment in this world And sometimes very irreligious and Atheistical thoughts as if there were no priviledge to be had by Religion and all our pains zeal and care about Duty were little better than lost labour Psal. 73. 13 14. Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain and washed my hands in innocency for all the day long I have been plagued and chastened every morning By these things Satan gets no small advantage upon the afflicted Christian for albeit these thoughts are his burthen and God will not impute them to the condemnation of his people yet they rob the soul of peace and hinder it from duty and make it act uncomely under affliction to the stumbling and hardening of others in their sin beware therefore lest by your excesses of sorrow ye give place to the Devil we are not ignorant of his devices 15. Consid. Give not way to excessive sorrows upon the account of affliction if ye have any regard to the honour of God and Religion which will thereby be exposed to reproach If you slight your own honour don't slight the honour of God and Religion too Take heed how you carry it in a day of trouble many eyes are upon you It is a true observation that a late worthy Author hath made upon this case What will the Atheist and what will the prophane scoffer say when they shall see this So sottish and malicious they are that if they do but see you in affliction they are straightway scornefully demanding Where is your God But what will they say if they should hear you your selves unbelievingly cry out where is our God Will they not be ready to cry This is the Religion they make such boast of which you see how little it does for them in a day of extremity they talk of promises rich and precious promises but where are they now Or to what purpose do they serve They said they had a treasure in heaven What ails them to mourn so then if their Riches be there O beware what you do before the world they have eyes to see what you can do as well as ears to hear what you can say And as long as your carriage under troubles is so much like their own they will never think your principles are better than theirs Carnal worldlings will be drawn to think that whatever fine talk you might have about God and heaven your hearts were most upon the same things that theirs were since your grief for their removal is as great as theirs They know by experience what a stay it is to the heart to have an able faithful friend to depend upon or to have hopes of a great Estate shortly to fall to them and they 'le never be perswaded you have any such ground of comfort if they see you as much cast down as they that pretend to no such matter By this means the precepts of Christ to constancy and contentment in all Estates will come to be lookt upon like those of the Stoicks only as magnifica verba brave words but such as are impossible to be practised and the whole of the Gospel will be taken for an airey notion since they that profess greatest regard to it are no more helpt thereby O What a shame is it that Religion should in this case make no more difference betwixt man and man Wherefore shew to the world whatever their common censures are that it is not so much your care to differ from them in some opinions and little strictness as in humility meekness contempt of the world and heavenly mindedness and now let these graces display themselves by your chearful patient deportment under all your grievances Wherefore hath God planted those excellent graces in your souls but that he might be glorified and you benefited by the exercises of them in tribulation Should these be supprest and hid and nothing but the pride passion and unmortified earthliness of your hearts set on work and discovered in time of trouble what a slur what a wound will you give to the glorious name which is call'd upon by you And then if your hearts be truly gracious that will pierce you deeper than ever your affliction which occasioned it did I beseech you therefore be tender of the name of God if you will not be so of your own peace and comfort 16. Consid. Be quiet and hold your peace you little know how many mercies lye in the womb of this sharp affliction Great are the benefits of a sharp rouzing affliction to the people of God at sometimes and all might have them at all times were they more careful to improve them Holy David thankfully acknowledgeth Psal. 119. 71. It is good for me that I have been afflicted And surely there 's as much good in them for you as for him if the Lord sanctifie them to such ends and uses as his were sanctified unto Such a smarting rod as this came not before there was need enough of it and possibly you saw the need of some awaking providence your selves but if not the Lord did he took not up the rod to smite you till his faithfulness and tender love to your souls called upon him to correct you You now sit pensive under the rod sadly lamenting and deploring the loss of some earthly comfort your heart is surcharged with sorrow your eyes run down upon every mention and remembrance of your dear friend Why if there were no more this alone may discover the need you had of
and convey to us what comfort God is pleased to communicate to them and if the Cistern be broken or the pipe cut off so that no more comfort can be conveyed to us that way he hath other waies and mediums to do it by which we think not of and if he please he can convey his comforts to his people without any of them and if he do it more immediately we shall be no losers by that for no comforts in the world are so delectable and ravishingly sweet as those that flow immediately from the fountain And it is the sensuality of our hearts that causes us to affect them so inordinately and grieve for the loss of them so immoderately as if we had not enough in God without these creature-supplements Is the fulness of the Fountain yours and yet do ye cast down your selves be-because the broken Cistern is removed The best Creatures are no better Jer. 2. 13. Cisterns have nothing but what they receive and broken ones cannot hold what is put into them Why then do ye mourn as if your life were bound up in the creature You have as free an access to the Fountain as you had before It is the advice of an Heathen and let them take the comfort of it to repair by a new earthly comfort what we have lost in the former Thou hast carried forth him whom thou lovedst saith Seneca seek one whom thou maist love in his stead it 's better to repair than bemoan thy loss But if God never repair your loss in things of the same kind you know he can abundantly repair it in himself Ah Christian Is not one kiss of his mouth one glimpse of his countenance one seal of his spirit a more sweet and substantial comfort than the sweetest Relation in this world can afford you If the stream fail repair to the Fountain there 's enough still God is where he was and what he was though the creature be not 19. Consid. Though you may want a little comfort in your life yet surely it may be recompensed to you by a more easie death The removal of your friends before you may turn to your great advantage when your hour is come that you must follow them Oh how have many good souls been clog'd and ensnared in their dying hour by the loves cares and fears they have had about those they must leave behind them in a sinful evil world Your love to them might have proved a snare to you and caused you to hang back as loath to go hence for these are the things that make men loth to dye And thus it might have been with you except God had removed them before hand or should give you in that day such sights of Heaven and tasts of Divine love as should master and mortifie all your earthly affections to these things I knew a gracious person now in heaven who for many weeks in her last sickness complained that she found it hard to part with a dear Relation and that there was nothing proved a greater clog to her soul than this 'T is much more easie to think of going to our friends who are in heaven before us than of parting with them and leaving our desireable and dear ones behind us And who knows what cares and distracting thoughts you may then be pestred and distracted with upon their account What shall become of these when I am gone I am now to leave them God knows to what wants miseries temptations and afflictions in the midst of a deceitful defiling dangerous world I know it s our duty to leave our fatherless children and friendless Relations with God to trust them with him that gave them to us And some have been enabled chearfully to do so when they were parting from them Luther could say Lord thou hast given me a wife and children I have little to leave them nourish teach and keep them O thou Father of the fatherless and Judge of widows But every Christian hath not a Luthers faith Some find it an hard thing to disentangle their affections at such a time but now if God have sent all yours before you you have so much the less to do Death may be easier to you than others 20. Consid. But if nothing that hath been yet said will stick with you then Lastly remember that you are near that state and place which admits no sorrows nor sad reflections upon any such accounts as these Yet a little while and you shall not miss them you shall not need them but you shall live as the Angels of God We now live partly by faith partly by sense partly upon God and partly upon the creature Our state is mixed therefore our comforts are so too but when God shall be all in all and we shall be as the Angels of God in the way and manner of our living How much will the case be altered with us then from what it is now Angels neither marry nor are given in mariage neither shall the children of the Resurrection when the days of our sinning are ended the days of our mourning shall be so too No graves were opened till sin enter'd and no more shall be open'd when sin is excluded Our glorified Relations shall live with us for ever they shall complain no more dye no more yea this is the happiness of that state to which you are passing on that your souls being in the nearest conjunction with God the fountain of Joy you shall have no concernment out of him You shall not be put upon these exercises of patience nor subjected to such sorrows as now you feel any more It is but a little while and the end of all these things will come Oh therefore bear up as persons that expect such a day of Jubilee at hand And thus I have finished the second general Head of this Discourse which is a disswasive from the sin of immoderate sorrow 3. I now proceed to the third thing proposed namely to remove the Pleas and excuses for this immoderate grief It s natural to men yea to good men to justifie their excesses or at least extenuate them by pleading for their passions as if they wanted not cause and reason enough to excuse them If these be fully answered and the soul once convinced and left without Apology for its sin it is then in a fair way for its cure which is the last thing designed in this Treatise My present business therefore is to satisfie those Objections and answer those Reasons which are commonly pleaded in this case to justifie our excessive grief for lost Relations And though I shall carry it in that line of Relation to which the Text directs yet it s equally applicable to all other 1. Plea You press me by many great considerations to meekness and quiet submission under this heavy stroke of God but you little know what stings my soul feels now in it This child was a child of many prayers it was a Samuel
a shameful thing for a Christian to be reproved for such an uncomely expression by an Heathen It 's enough to make us blush to read what an Heathen said in this case Never say thou hast lost any thing saith Epictetus but that it 's returned Is thy Son dead he is only restored Is thy inheritance taken from thee It is also returned And a while after he adds 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 i. e. Let every thing be as the Gods will have it 2. Answer It 's no fit expression to say you have lost all in one except that one be Christ and he being once yours can never be lost Doubtless your meaning is you have lost all your comfort of that kind And what though you have are there not multitudes of comforts yet remaining of a higher kind and more precious and durable nature If you have no more of that sort yet so long as you have better what cause have you to rejoyce 3. Answer You too much imitate the way of the world in this complaint they know not how to repair the loss of one comfort but by another of the same nature which must be put in its room to fill up the vacancy But have you no other way to supply your loss Have you not a God to fill the place of any creature that leaves you Surely this would better become a man whose portion is in this life than one that professes God is his all in all 5. Plea O but my only One is not only taken away but there remains no expectation or probability of any more I must now look upon my self as a dry tree never to take comfort in children any more which is a cutting thought 1. Answer Suppose what you say that you have no hope or expectation of another child remaining to you yet if you have a hope of better things than children you have no reason to be cast down bless God for higher and better hopes than these in Isa. 56. 4 5. the Lord comforts them that had no expectation of sons or daughters with this That he will give unto them in his house and within his walls a place and a name better than of Sons or of Daughters even an everlasting name that shall not be cut off There are better mercies and higher hopes than these though your hopes of children or from children should be cut off yet if your eternal hopes be secure and such as shall not make you ashamed you should not be so cast down 2. Answer If God will not have your comfort to lye any more in children then resolve to place them in himself and you shall never find cause to complain of loss by such an exchange You will find that in God which is not to be had in the creature one hours communion with him shall give you that which the happiest Parent never yet had from his children you will exchange brass for gold perishing vanity for solid and abiding excellency 6. Plea But the suddenness of the stroke is amazing God gave little or no warning to prepare for this tryal Death executed its commission as soon as it open'd it My dear Husband Wife or Child was snatcht unexpectedly out of my arms by a surprizing stroke and this makes my stroke heavier than my complaint 1. Answer That the death of your Relation was so sudden and surprizing was much your own fault who ought to have lived in the daily sense of its vanity and expectation of your separation from it you knew it to be a dying comfort in its best estate and it is no such wonderful thing to see that dead which we knew before to be dying Besides you heard the changes ringing round about you in other families you frequently saw other Parents Husbands and Wives carrying forth their dead And what were all these but warnings given you to prepare for the like tryals Surely then it was your own security and regardlesness that made this affliction so surprizing to you and who is to be blamed for that you know 2. Answer There is much difference betwixt the sudden death of infants and that of grown persons The latter may have much work to do many sins actually to repent of and many evidences of their interest in Christ to examine and clear in order to their more comfortable death and so sudden death may be deprecated by them But the case of Infants who exercise not their reason is far different they have no such work to do but are purely passive all that is done in order to their salvation is done by God immediately upon them and so it comes all to one whether their death be more quick or more slow 3. Answer You complain of the suddenness of the stroke but another will be ready to say had my friend died in that manner my affliction had been nothing to what it now is I have seen many deaths contrived into one I saw the gradual approaches of it upon my dear Relation who felt every tread of death as it came on towards him who often cryed with Job Chap. 3. 20. Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery and life to the bitter in soul which long for death but it cometh it not and dig for it more than for hid treasures which rejoyce exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave That which you reckon the sting of your affliction others would have reckoned a favour and priviledge How many tender Parents and other Relations who loved their friends as dearly as your selves have been forced to their knees upon no other errand but this to beg the Lord to hasten the separation and put an end to that sorrow which to them was much greater than the sorrow for the dead 7. Plea You press me to moderation of sorrows and I know I ought to shew it but you don't know how the case stands with me there 's a sting in this affliction that none feels but my self And oh how intollerable is it now I neglected proper means in season to preserve life or miscarried in the use of means I now see such a neglect or such a mistake about the means as I cannot but judge greatly to contribute to that sad loss which I now too late lament O my negligence O my rashness and inconsiderateness How doth my Conscience now smite me for my folly and by this aggravate my burthen beyond what is usually felt by others Had I seasonably apply'd my self to the use of proper means and kept strictly to such courses and counsels as those that are able and skilful might have prescribed I might have now had a living Husband Wife or Child whereas I am now not only bereaved but am apt to think I have bereaved my self of them Surely there is no sorrow like unto my sorrow 1. Answer Though it be an evil to neglect and slight the means ordained by God for recovery of health yet it 's no less evil to ascribe
and preventing these sinful excesses of sorrow for the death of our dear Relations And although much hath been said already to disswade from this evil and I have enlarged already much beyond my first intention yet I shall cast in some farther help and assistance towards the healing of this distemper by prescribing the following Rules 1. Rule If you would not mourn excessively for the loss of creature-comforts then beware that you set not your delight and love excessively or inordinately upon them whilst you enjoy them Strong affections make strong afflictions the higher the Tyde the lower the Ebb. According to the measure of our delight in the enjoyment is our grief in the loss of these things The Apostle knits these two graces Temperance and Patience together in the Precept 2 Pet. 1. 16. And it 's very observable how Intemperance and Impatience are inseparably linked in experience yea the experience of the best men You read Gen. 37. 3. How Israel loved Joseph more than all his children because he was the son of his old age and he made him a coat of many colours This was the darling Jacobs heart was exceedingly set upon him his very life was bound up in the life of the Lad. Now when the supposed death of this child was brought to him How did he carry it See Ver. 34 35. And Jacob rent his cloaths and put sackcloth upon his loins and mourned for his Son many days And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him but he refused to be comforted and he said for I will go down into the grave to my Son mourning Thus his Father wept for him Here as in a glass the effects of excessive love to a child are represented Here you may see what work immoderate love will make even in a sanctified heart O therefore let your moderation be known to all men in your delights and sorrows about earthly things for ordinarily the proportion of the one is answerable to the other 2. Rule If you would not be overwhelmed with grief for the loss of your Relations be exact and careful in discharging your duties to them while you have them The testimony of your Conscience that you have laboured in all things to discharge the duties you owed to your Relations whilst they were with you will prove an excellent allay to your sorrows for them when they are no longer yours 'T is not so much the single affliction as the guilt charged upon us in times of affliction that makes our load so heavy O what a terrible thing is it to look upon our dead whilst Conscience is accusing and upbraiding us for our duties neglected and such or such sins committed O you little think how dreadful a spectacle this will make the dead body of thy friend to thee Conscience if not quite stupid or dead will speak at such a time O therefore as ever you would provide for a comfortable parting at death or meet again at Judgment be exact punctual and circumspect in all your relative duties 3. Rule If you would not be overwhelmed by trouble for the loss of your Relations then turn to God under your trouble and pour out your sorrows by prayer into his bosom This will ease and allay your troubles Blessed be God for the ordinance of prayer How much are all the Saints beholding to it at all times but especially in heart sinking and distressful times It 's some relief when in distress we can pour out our trouble into the bosom of a Wife or faithful Friend How much more when we leave our complaint before the gracious wise and faithful God I told you before of that holy man who having lost his dear and only Son got to his Closet there poured out his soul freely to the Lord and when he came down to his friends that were waiting below to comfort him and fearing how he would bear that stroke he came from his duty with a chearful countenance telling them he would be content to bury a Son if it were possible every day provided he might but enjoy such comfort as his soul had found in that private hour Go thy way Christian to thy God get thee to thy knees in the cloudy and dark day retire from all Creatures that thou mayst have thy full liberty with thy God and there pour out thy heart before him in free full and broken-hearted confessions of sin Judge thy self worthy of Hell as well as of this trouble Justifie God in all his smartest strokes beg him in this distress to put under thee the evering arms intreat one smile one gracious look to inlighten thy darkness and chear thy drooping spirit Say with the Prophet Jer. 17. 17 Be not then a terrour to me thou art my hope in the day of evil And try what relief such a course will afford thee Surely if thy heart be sincere in this course thou shalt be able to say with that holy man Psal. 94. 19. In the multitude of my thoughts which I had within me thy comforts have delighted my soul. 4. Rule If you would bear the loss of your dear Relations with moderation eye God in the whole process of the affliction more and secondary causes and circumstances of the matter less I was dumb I opened not my mouth because thou didst it Psal. 39. 9. Consider the hand of the Lord in the whole matter And that First As a Soveraign hand which hath right to dispose of thee and all thy comforts without thy leave or consent Job 33. 13. Secondly As a Fathers hand correcting thee in love and faithfulness Prov. 3. 11. Whom the Lord loveth he correcteth as a Father the Son in whom he delighteth O if once you could but see affliction as a rod in a Fathers hand as proceeding from his love and intended for your eternal good How quiet would you then be And surely if it draw your heart nearer to God and mortifie it more to this vain world it is a rod in the hand of special love If it end in your love to God doubt not but it comes from Gods love to you Thirdly As a just and righteous hand Hast thou not procured this to thy self by thy own folly Yea the Lord is just in all that is come upon thee Whatever he hath done yet he hath done thee no wrong Fourthly Lastly As a moderate and merciful hand that hath punished thee less than thine iniquities deserve he hath cast thee into affliction he might justly have cast thee into Hell It 's of the Lords mercy that thou art not consumed Why doth the living man complain 5. Rule If you would bear your affliction with moderation compare it with the affliction of other men and that will greatly quiet your spirits You have no cause to say God hath dealt bitterly with you and that there is no sorrow like your sorrow Look round about you and impartially consider the conditions that others are in and they nothing