not thy iustice and my desertes but remember thy mercies and my miseries thinke not vpon thy hate towardes offenders but thinke vpon thy loue towardes thy creatures cast thy seuere eye of reuenge vpon thy sonne but looke vpon me with thy eye of pitty O deare God hell is alreadie full and what profite is there in my distructioÌ„ Also many millions of sinners will neuer come vnto thee will neuer cal nor care for thy helpe so that if thou reiectest the repentant and sorrowfull sinner who then shall bee saued and whome wilte thou fâ—â—de righteous if 〈◊〉 iudgest without mercie When I was not O Lord thy fingers framed mee and thou neither hatest nor contemnest any thinge that thou hast made When I was a captiue of the deuill a slaue of hell thou didest send thy beloued sonne to die for my redemption and do not now I beseech thee cast that away which thou hâ—â—â— purchased at soe â—â—gh a price When I walked in my owne wicked waies thou didst patiently endure me mightily preserue me and graciously call mee and wilt thou not now beestow one louinge looke vpon mee Why then O louing God looke vpon thy beloued sonne behold what hee hath suffered of thy goodnesse call him to thy remembraÌ„ce for whom thy will his obedience did cause him to suffer Behold his bitter agonies wherein his bodie was sprinkled with a bloodie sweate beeholde his backe torne with whips his head pricked with thornes his face defiled with spitting behold his blessed body so strained vpon the crosse that all his bones might be numbred behold his harmlesse handes his vndefiled feete pierced with sharpe nailes behold his naked side strooke through with a speare behold the aboundance of blood which gushed forth of those holy fountaines which blood still streameth fresh in thy sight and now pleadeth for my pardon Beholde O gracious God how his feeling was possessed with paine his hearing with reproach his eies with scorne his tast with gall beholde howe his neck bowed his heade hung his breast beat how his sight waxed dimme his countenaÌ„ce pale his legs armes stiffe how hee groaned how hee gasped and gaue vp the ghost Behold the preist behold the sacrifice euen the lambe vndefiled gloriously imbrued with his owne blood Gracious and mercifull God by this thy sonne by this my Sauiour I most humbly beeseech thee to looke fauourably vpon me encline thine eares towardes me hide not thy face now my soule is troubled Graciouslie receiue the lost sheepe which strayinge from thy pastures through sinne and flying from thy presence through a guiltie conscience hee hath louinglye sought and ioyfullye doth bring vnto thee vpon his own shoulders Heare mee O God of all power turne towardes mee and let thy mercies accept his merits for full satisfaction of my misdeedes O infinite mercie thou hast sett vs a way and giuen vs a light thou hast threaned vs the paines of hell and promised vs the ioies of heauen now pierce my flesh with thy feare that I may auoide the one and inflame my soule with thy loue that I may attain the other Grante I praye thee that as longe traueilers are therby taught to loue their owne cuntrey soe my former errâ—urs may henceforth bee a meane to hould mee in the right path that beeing led by thee walking through thee I may come vnto thee and rest in thee for wee sillie wormes are vnable to enter into thine eternitie vnlesse thou who hast created vs doest guide vs in Saue O God who desirest not the deth of a sinner saue my sinnefull soule which flieth froÌ„ thy feareful iustice to thy comfortable mercies from the desert of my sinne to the desert of thy Sonne This O God is easie to thy power and vsuall to thy mercie and agreeable to thy will Such are the witlesse wilfull right as is the heedles flie Which kils it selfe hurtes his sight has hath her in his eie Sperate miseri Cauete faelices The death of Saintes is precious Psal. 125. Miserable is the death of Sinners Psal 53. The III. Deuotion The guiltines of sinne and the consideration of Death calleth the sinner to call vpon God for his mercy in Iesu Christ. O Most high most holye moste mightye most mercifull most good most goodly most louinge most fearefull and terrible God the Creator the renuer the maintainer of all thinges whome to know is to bee wise whome to serue is to raigne whome to loue is the life and happinesse of the soule behold I pore wretch to thee who art both rich and liberall I miserable to thee who art both pittifull and plentifull do draw neere behold a hunger-starued begger knocketh at thy doore open vnto mee O honourable householder without whome all aboundance is beggerie open I say thy mercies to my miseries and although I am not worthy to sitte at thy feast with thy sons yet with the basest of thy seruantes let me bee refreshed with some broken pieces that are taken from thy table Thou hast commaunded vs O gratious God to knock to aske and to seeke whereuppon thou hast promised to open to geue and to bee founde beholde now my sighinge doth seeke thee my teares crie vnto thee and the groanes of my payned soule do knocke at the gate of thy mercies behold Lord I am desirous to doe thy will performe thou I besech thee thy word And first O Lorde I acknowledge against my selfe that I was conceiued in iniquitie and borne in miserie but thou of thy free loue diddest cleanse mee thou diddest sanctifie me thou didst through faith on my part and mercy on thyne betroath thy selfe vnto me Yet I vnmindfull of so greate goodnes haue since with many a foule fact distained my selfe and dishonored thee not dreading thy displeasure whole wrath maketh the deuells to quake I was borne in necessary but I pluÌ„ged my selfe in voluntarie sinnes I made no conscience in offending thee feared not to forgett thy lawe Notwithstandinge thou accordinge to thy wonted mercies diddest not banish mee from thy protection but as though I had daylye and duly obserued thy will thou diddest bountifullye heape thy benifites vppon mee so much vndeserued of mee as not desired When I sinned against thee the deuill was readie to haue made a pray of mee I was content I was desirous to haue perished with him but thou O Lord diddest driue backe him and draw backe me not onely without either my request or knowledge but very much against my mind When I was in daunger of death both by sickenesse casualties and my soule was so rocked a sleepe in sinnefull securitie so burdened with the weight of wicked actions that it must needes haue suncke downe into hell thy grace stoode by mee thy power did preserue both my body from death and my soule from damnation I did offend thee but thou diddest defend mee I did deserue death but thou diddest preserue life I did not regard thee when thou
to his feast I coulde neyther see nor sorrowe for my sinnes did not he both enlighten my vnderstanding and soften my sences Hee hath not enlightened my vnderstandinge to drowne it in darknes he hath not softned my sences because he could not breake them and why then hath hee thus wakened the one and weakened the other It is euen soe hee that hath hetherto in patience expected mee doeth now in pittie call me Speake then Lord speake vnto thy seruant thunder into the inner eare of my harte breake my deafenesse that I may heare thy voice Lorde thou lookest for mine amendmente that I may haue thy fauour and I looke for thy fauour that I may amende Woe is mee how longe haue I staied Alas how late doe I come how slowlye doe I hasten howe doeth my resolution stick betweene loathnesse and necessitie woe is me wretch how cunningly doth the deuell seeke to delay mee what arte hath he vsed to keepe the line from breaking wherat the fish was caught not drawing him violently but letting him play vpon the hooke which hee soe greedely had swallowed O my God the sunne of my life hath passed his Meridian and I am now in the after noone of my age the night of nature will come fast vpon mee when death as Gods sergeant will arrest my bodie vpon debt to nature her selfe my soule vpon trespasse committed against God The one hee will binde hand and foote and committe close prisoner to the graue the other he will arraigne in the high court of heauen where God shall bee both partie and iudge to aunsweare to all obiections as well of errour as of contempt At this houre of death when the sinnfull soule beginneth to bee loosed from the fetters of flesh O good God howe is it troubled what terrours are presented vnto it Then beginneth it to throwe the thoughtes freely into euery corner of the conscience to see the sinnes which it hath done to perceiue the vengeance that it hath deserued to consider that the time of repentance is then at an end and that it is set vpon the immoueable pointe of passage to a most stricte triall vncertaine howe the best actions that it hath done shall bee examined It is desirous to stay it is compelled to goe and as it often happeneth that whilest one thinketh too much of dooing he leaueth to doe the effect of his thinking soe whilest it lamenteth the losse of all the time that is past it looseth that little which then remaineth Looking backe it esteemeth the whole race which it hath runne as a short steppe looking forward it behouldeth the infinite space of eternytie wherin it hath to continue lifting vp the minde to heauen it discouereth a most bright beautifull glorie againe castinge it downe vpon the earth it seeth all thinges enfoulded in a mistie darknesse Heereupon a new swarme of thoughts stingeth the minde It lamenteth that it was soe chained with the enchauntmentes of a momentanie estate as scarce to thinke vpon the condition which neuer shall haue end that to satisfie the flesh which is to be a nest of wormes it hath neglected the spirite which was to haue bin a companion of Angells that it hath lost for soe short a shewe the eternall substance of pleasure that it hath exchanged the treasure of immortall glorie for the trash of floating vanitie O if it had but a smal time more of amendment how seriously would it conuerte what a sharpe and seuere course would it set into but it is like vnto a horse desirous to runne miserably spurred but soe short reined that hee cannot stirre or like vnto those who in their dreames are taken with some fearfull vision which sweate with payne and striue to crie for helpe but cannot finde any strength to crie In the meane time the head shooteth the back aketh the hart panteth the throate ruttleth the tongue faultreth the breath shortneth the flesh trembleth the veines beate the hart stringes crack the eyes wex dimme the nose sharpe the browes harde the cheekes colde and wanne the lippes pale the handes numme the iointes stiffe the whole bodie is in a colde sweat the strength fainting the life vanished and death drawing on Neither will the children and friendes for whose sake the sick shall often thinke them selues damned for beare in this instant of extremitie but continually like flesh flies they will offer molestation Whilst these summoners of death doe execute their office all the wicked actions wordes and thoughts are broght into presence they are heaped together and aggrauated to the vttermost they giue the conscience many a colde pull and lie vpon the hart as heavie as leade Faine would the sinner turne away his eye but hee shall bee compelled to behold them they will all crie vnto him wee are thy workes wee will goe with thee Then shall the conscience sharplye accuse the memory giue bitter euidence reason shall sit as iudge feare shall stand as executioner and scarce is there any seuere sentence in all the bible against sinne which the deuell will not bring into minde vrging euery poynt and amplifying it by construction Then will resolution bee turned to trembling pride into basenesse confidence into despaire Then will bee a greate difference in iudgment from that which men beare commonly in this worlde in soe much as the sinner shall be forced to cry and confesse we simple men thought their life to be but madnesse whose end wee now esteeme most honourable but wee haue wearied our selues in craggye waies wee are worne out in pursuing vanity and the waies of the Lorde wee haue not knowne Neuer did tirant exercise his rage with greatet cruelty vpon anye that hee most hated then the miserable sinner shall then vpon him selfe in iustly condemninge in vainly acknowledging in vnprofitably lamenting the errours of his actions whilest the paines of parting shall drawe the powers of the minde from true repentance All vaine pleasures are then at an end and as quite forgotten as if they had neuer bin at all Yea euery wicked delighte shall geue sharp twitches to the soule especially whē it considereth that it is to endure the smart for manye thinges wherof it must leaue the plesure to others Somtimes the sinner more able to abide death then the feare of death wisheth to bee discharged from beeinge guided by soe euell a soule not in full hope that his tormentes shall thereby either end or abate but according to the nature of greife the present being most painfull hee desireth to chang and to put in aduenture the ensuing But when he doth perceiue infinite legions of deuells prepared to receiue him and the horrours of hell open for his entertainment then is hee in a maze of amazement then like one that houldeth a wolfe by the eare bitten whilest hee holdeth and slaine when hee lett goe Well then secure and sencelesse soule howsoeuer the deuell woulde beare thee in hande as hee did thy first parentes
Infirmities were multiplied vpon them and after that they made hast to come ps 15 They sought thee out O Lord in their affliction Esay 26. THE Sanctuarie of a troubled Soule Written by I. H. Newly reprinted enlarged and emended by the author himselfe Before I was troubled I went wrong Psal. 119. LONDON Printed by I. W. and are to be sold at the Exchange by Cuthbert Burby 1601. Prouide thee of a medicine beefore the soare come and examine thy selfe beefore Iudgement and so shalt thou finde propitiation in the sight of God Eccies 8. 18. The I. Deuotion The sinner touched with his own sinnes and terrified with Gods iudgment flyeth vnto Christ. O Christ the Sonne of the most myghtye God the Sauiour of most miserable men whose blessed bodie was buffeted with siftes torne with whips stretched vpō the crosse pierced with nailes speare and bathed in the sweete streames of thine owne bloud for the redēption of all mankind to thee O author O restorer O preseruer of life to thy maiestie to thy mercie my sinnefull soule full of fresh bleeding woundes ful of ould corrupted soares sicke to the death with a surfet of sinne would faine present it selfe and sende a few fainte groanes vnto thy heauenly eares but alas the greatnesse of my disease hath almost taken away the sence thereof and so horrible is my corruptiō that I feare it wil too much offend thy pure presence and altogether auert thy coūtenāce from beholding me thine eare from hearing me and thy cōpassion from relieuing me O sinne the verie bane and death of my soule was it not enough for you to infect a heedeles creature with your poison but you must make it so ougly and loathsome that the eie of mercie should not endure to beehould it was it not enough for you to crush it in pieces with your weight but you must also go about to stop both the eare of pittie with horror the mouth of prayer with shame was it not inough for you to drawe me to distruction but you must also take from mee both the sence of griefe and the sight of danger and consequently the cure of the one and care of the other I was wounded I felte it not I was wounded to death I perceiued it not I was bound I was beaten and I regarded it not yea my woundes were a delightfull tickling vnto mee I tooke pleasure in most base bōdage and like Salomons foole I laughed when I was lashed For I was beside my selfe whē I was without thee neither discerning and desiring that which was good nor yet seeing and shunning that which was euill I beecame not only foolish but altogether sencelesse for thou art trueth I was without thee thou art life I was without thee Alas how am I deformed how am I defiled O deere Christ my fainting soule groaneth and gaspeth for thy grace but it is abashed at thy glory I would faine intreat thy mercy to heale mee but I am loth to offend thy maiestie in beeholding mee I am ashamed to lay open my iniquities and yet woe is me I cannot appeare beefore thee without them Ah these my sinnes how do they distres how do they distract me they desire to be seene that they may bee healed but they shunne to be shewn least they should bee detested they are not healed without confession and they are not heard without confusion If they be couered they cannot be cured and if they be opened they must needes be abhorred In the meane time their sharpenes pierceth me their waight presseth me they torment me with griefe they terrifie me with feare they confound me with shame What shall I say or what shall I doe wretche that I am whether did I bende my selfe and to what pas am I now come O Christ I did not set thee beefore my eyes and now I dare not appeare in thy sight I reioyced but not in thee now I am troubled but thou art not with me Alasse better it were to bee nothing then to bee without thee without whom al things are nothing better it were to bee dead then to be without thee O our life Wo to me wretch what shall I do in that terrible day when at the sound of the trūpet all graues shall open yeeld vp their prisoners which they haue kept fast fettered in the chaines of death from all ages since the worlde was made When the bookes of euery mās naked conscience shall be laide foorth when all my actions words and thoughts euen those which I most esteemed either concealed or els forgotten shall bee set in so open and plaine a veiw that all the worlde shall point at mee and say Behold the man and what hee hath done When I shall bee compelled to aunswer to manie thinges whereof I would haue scorned to haue bene either questioned or tould during the time of my life when the heauens shall threatē me the earth rise vp against me and al the creatures which I haue abused crie vēgeance vpon mee when the Diuelles shall accuse mee my own conscience giue euidence against me and the whole Iurie of Saintes passe their verdict vpon me At that day to go forward it will be intolerable to go back impossible to turne a side vnauaileable and so great will bee the astonishment betwene sorrow shame and feare that the guiltie sinner shall be desirous to hide him selfe if it were possible euen in hell What way shall I thē take in these desperate extremities whether shall I turne my selfe what shift what friendes shall I be able to make all thinges giuing cause of terrour and nothinge of comforte Alasse what shall I do but euen faint for feare and stande as a most desperate and forlorne wretch trēblinge and quakinge beefore the presence of the most seuere iudge who neither can bee blinded nor will bee corrupted altogether confounded at the intollerable vehemencie and waight of his wrath at the inexcusable number and enormity of my sinnes at the easelesse and endlesse punishment which I shall see I haue deserued Who where what thinge shall then bee my comfort when I shall behold aboue an angrie Iudge condemning mee beeneath hell open and the boyling furnace ready to deuour me on one side the diuels with bitter scoffes and vpbraydings haling me on the other side the saintes and my very neerest friendes not onely forsaking me but reioycing and praysing God for his iustice in my damnatiō within my conscience tearing me without the powers of heauē shakē and dissolued the elementes shiuered in peeces the whole worlde flaming all damned soules crying cursing rounde about mee O indignation of of the almightie fall not vpon mee for I haue neither power to resist thee nor patiēce to endure thee nor place to auoyde thee And doubtlesse it is impossible ether to expresse or to imagine what an inestimable treasure a good conscience will be at that day and if a sinner could now conceiue
the infinite sea of terrours and tormentes whiche then he shal perceiue to rush vpon him he would not endure them one moment for all the false pleasures that his sweetest sinnes can afford Alasse wretch what shall I doe if I speake my sinnes stand vp against me if I hold my peace I find no mā to comfort mee Mourne O my soul drowne thy selfe in bitter mourning howle out and lament beecause of these heauy horrours which thine offences prepare daily to heap vpon thee thou being as vnable to repel the one as either to represse or repente the other And yet now thou doest see these euils see also if thou canst shunne them let no paynes bee too great no petitions either to often or too earnest to make prouision agaynste that daye trample vnder foote the vanities of this life shake them off as Paul did the viper into the fire lest they cause thee to shake Runne O runne vnto thy onely refuge Iesus Christ thy redeemer become as it doth become thee an humble suppliant in the lowest degree both of sorrow and shame prostrate thy selfe beefore his presence poure out thy teares at his feete make an abiect countenance and gesture vnfained messengers of thy distressed mind let thy words bee seasoned with sighes and bathed in tears so addresse thy suite vnto him Although it bee late it is not yet too late to call for his mercie wherefore shouldest thou be consumed in saying nothing As it is impossible hee should forgette the passions which hee endured so it is not credible that hee should not haue cōpassion on thee for whome he suffered O Christ O sonne of the euerlyuinge God in goodnes infinite infinite also in greatnes in power almighty in wisdome wonderfull in iudgment iust in promise true in workes holy in mercie rich patient toward sinners sparing when they do repent call to thy remēbrance O sweet Iesus for whose sake thou wert content to endure all the miseries of mortallitie hūger colde griefe pouerty contēpt scorn blasphemies bandes blowes the crosse woundes death and the graue And now O Lord where is this loue where are these mercies is thy goodnesse come to an end and will thine anger neuer againe be appeased If I be full of impietie art thou therfore not full of pittie if I cōfesse the one wilt thou therefore denie the other if my sins are greater thē it is meet ar thi mercies lesser then they were wont if thy glorious greatnesse did make me draw backe wilt thou therefore draw backe thy gracious goodnesse O Lord my God althogh I am a sinner yet am I thi creature although I am a sinner yet am I redeemed with the blessed price of thy blood O Lord my life It was no goodnesse in me that compelled thee to make me but euen thy loue it was no merite in me that did winne thee to redeeme me but euen thy mercie why then sweet Christ and most louing Iesu let that loue whiche compelled thee to make me compell thee also to help me let that mercy which did win thee to die for me win thee also to saue my life for thou art alwaies one neither is thy loue chāged nor thy mercy diminished Heare me O Lorde heale mee O Lorde heale my sicke soule which panteth at thy feete and is euen at the poynt to perish reiect not him whoe deiecteth him selfe let not the abasing of my selfe make mee seme base vnto thee enter not into iudgment with thy seruant but accordinge to thy mercies to the multitude of thy mercies put awaye mine iniquities Thinke not on thy hate against a sinner but think on thy loue towardes thy creature remember not thy iustice where by thou punishest but remember thy mercy wherby thou sauest forget mee as I was disobediēt prouoking thee to wrath regard me as I am distressed crying to thee for helpe Comforte mee that am weake heale me that am wounded raise me that am dead heale the infirmitie which grieueth mee thou shalt remoue the deformity which offendeth thee take awaie the wretchednesse whereof I languish and thou shalt take away the lothsōnes which thou abhorrest free me from my danger and thou shalte free thy selfe from thy displeasure O sweete Lord most mercifull Iesus Christ wee knowe wherefore thou camest into the world euen to seeke and to saue that which was lost and do not thou O Lord forget that which we vile wretches not only know but shal acknowledg eyther wyth trembling or els with ioy Thou camest to saue that which was lost and wilt thou see me perish in the view of thy pittifull eies in the presence of thy bowels of mercy Thou camest to call sinners to repētance wilt thou not heare them when they doe repent thou camest to seeke those which wandred to assemble those which were dispersed and wilt thou not receiue those which com vnto thee which crye after thee which call vpon thee Thou diddest not stop thine eares whē thou wert blasphemed and wilt thou stop them now thou art intreated thou didst not turne away thy face from those that spat vpon thee and buffeted thee wilt thou now turne it away from those that pray vnto thee O thou hope of my hart strength of my soule whether should I run for succour to whome should I resort but onely vnto thee who art the reconciler the redeemer the Sauiour of mankinde O reconciler whome wilt thou reconcile to thy Father if thou reiectest a poore sinner who condemneth himselfe calleth vppon thee if death shall deuour him who dispaireth in himselfe and trusteth in thee if that soule shall bee drowned in hell which acknowledgeth his owne wickednesse with feare and thy goodnesse with loue O redeemer whome hast thou then redeemed O Sauiour whome then wilte thou saue O Christ heare mee O Christ helpe mee or else tell mee thy vnwoorthy seruaunt O mercifull God tel thy seruant to whome shall I cry to whome shall I complaine who is more able to helpe who more easy to be intreated to whom may I flie more safely to whome more readily who is more mighty who more mercifull where may I bee more bolde where more secure O thou onely refuge reliefe of the distressed to whome no man sueth without hope of helpe forsake mee not now I call vpon thee for before I did call vpon thee thou diddst call mee and to the end that I should seeke after thee thou diddest seeke out mee Sweete Iesus I praise thee for this voluntarie guift of thy goodnes O let it not be vnprofitable vnto mee Finish that which thou hast begun and giue mee the thinge which thou hast moued me to desire Heare my praier haue mercie vpon me a forsaken orphane looke vpon the teares of my miserie Haue mercie vpon me O sonne of Dauid O fountain of mercie haue mercie vpon me let my soule be the sea to swallow vp those streames which flow from thee O
fountaine of mercy Heale the diseased helpe the distressed which crieth to thee for comfort O light behold the blinde O strength stretch forth thy haÌ„d that the lame may come vnto thee O life raise the deade out of the sepulchre of his sinnes O mercrfull louer of mankind ah shew thy selfe vnto me reueale thy glorie reueale thy grace oh let me beehold oh let mee hold thee Let mee finde let mee feele that thou onely art the hope of the distressed the reliefe of the afflicted the comforte the strength the ioy of all O Christ let me not in vaine beleeue this trueth O Christ let mee not in vaine lay hold vpon this hope O Christ let me not in vaine desire this mercie And if my faith be so little my hope so colde my prayer so weake that I can thereby deserue neither pardon of my punishment nor participation of thy glorie supplie thou I beseech thee my imperfections that by thy mercy I may obtaine the one and by thy merites the other O Sweete Iesu O my God bring mee from all ontward thinges to my selfe and from my selfe vnto thee make mee as like to thee in will and desier as I am in nature set me wholly on fire with thy loue thy sweete loue thy longinge loue thy chast loue with desire of thee with contentmente with ioy with saciety in thee Let this light of thy loue captiuate my sences from all other both lightes delightes let it cleere my soule from the grosse vapors of earthly affections that I may thereby if not fully satisfie yet shew my selfe industrious to satisfie thy goodnes and good-will and that as hetherto I haue liued against my selfe and without thee so from henceforth I may leade my life for my selfe in and by thee sweete Iesus Amen Hom. II. a. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Tam grauiâ— ille mihi nigri quam limina ditis Ore aliud qui fert aliud sub pectore celat As dale of death so doe I hate that kinde Whose tonge from thâ—ught whose mouth dissent from minde Periissem nisi periissem The II. Deuotion The touch of sinne and the terrors of hell causeth the soule to lay hould vpon Gods mercie O Soule O wicked O wretched soul shake off sloath this sleepe this death of sinne wherin thou walowest and wherin thou wanderest raise vp rowse vpp thy selfe from this dangerous dulnes Call to thy consideration vnhappie creature from whence thou runnest where thou art and wherto thou hastnest the fauour which thou forsakest the horrour wherein thou abidest and the terrour wherto thou tendest Thou wert once washed cleane with the heaueÌ„ly fountain in baptisme cloathed with the pure robe of righteousnesse endowed wyth the ioies of heauen and espoused to my Sauiour Christ but now thou hast soiled thy selfe with sinne defiled that glorious garment broken those sacred bandes and by impuritye of life hast made thy louing spouse both thine earnest enemie and seuere iudge O Christ how can I forget thy goodnes and yet how dare I remember thy greatnesse I haue denied thee with Peter beetraied thee with Iudas and runne from thee with thy other disciples nay with the most accursed cruell Iewes I haue mocked blasphemed buffeted and scourged thee spitte vppon thy glorious face torne opeÌ„ thy teÌ„der wounds Then since I haue committed theire crueltie what hope may I haue to auoide their curse that thy bloud be not vpon me and my posteritie Alas miserable wretch in what path haue I walked in what pollutions haue I wallowed in what perplexities am I now plunged wherein the consideration both of good and euill tormenteth me a like of good with griefe of that which I haue lost of euell partly with sence of that which I sustaine and partly with feare of that which I expect I haue lost glory I feele shame I feare punishment the losse is by mee irrepairable the shame inexcusable the feare inconsolable Oh miserable estate oh vncomfortable not onely to be depriued of vnspeakable ioies but to bee afflicted with intollerable paines O sinne the defiler the deformer the destroier of soules from how high a pitch of happinesse hast thou deiected me into how deepe a gulfe of miseries hast thou depressed mee with what a world of woes hast thou enclosed mee heere woe and there woe and a very hell of woes is heaped vppon mee Iustly Lord iustly am I thus tormented for I haue beene fainte yea false in the charge that thou hast committed vnto me I haue throwne away my spirituall weapons I haue forsaken the fielde of christian combate and not onely cowardly yealded but traiterously turned to the prince of darknesse I haue cast off my Sauiour and cast away my selfe I haue forsaken the societie of Saintes ioyned companie with the damned crew I haue abaÌ„doned the pallaces of heaueÌ„ built mee a nest in the loathsome denne of hell I am altogether become an abiect from God and a subiect to the Deuill What hast thou done O madd man O mischieuous O monstrous man what hast thou done what a wofull exchange hast thou made what a lamentable losse hast thou incurred O peruerse will O miracle of madnes How O God hath corruption depraued mee how O God shall satisfaction restore me Cast thy selfe forlorne wretch into the vncomfortable dungeon of sorrow ouerwhelme thy self with mountaines of bitter mourning come griefe come horror coÌ„e anguish come feare heape your felues vpon me wrap me in weigh me downe I haue impudently contemned you I haue desperately prouoked you and now doe miserably call for you So so it is iust afflict the wicked torment the guiltie reuenge the iniuries reuenge the periuries which I haue committed against God giue the sinner a touch of the infernall tortures which hee hath deserued giue him a tast of the banquet which he hath prepared Comforte peace securitie ioy keepe away I will none of you except you bring a pardone with you disquiet shall be my rest mourning my mirth sowre sorrowe my comforte Alas how shall I present my selfe before the maiestie of the most righteous and vpright iudge how shall my fearfull face behold him how terriblie will he cast his countenance vpon mee His eyes farre brighter theÌ„ the sunne haue narrowly obserued all my actions he hath weighed my words he hath nombred my thoughtes he hath seene he hath sealed vp all my sinnes hee hath hetherto bin silent hetherto patient but out alas hee will one day crie out one day he will call mee to a reckoning for all O my hart O poore harte O harte full of miseries yea depressed yea oppressed with manyfold miseries neuer able to sustaine these firebrandes of conscience Alas mine eies are not worthie to looke towardes heauen yea they are most worthy to bee extinguished with teares If then I be ashamed to be seene how shall I be assured to be receiued if I haue no harte to aske what hope can I haue that I shall
obtaine Goe too then O sinfull soule enter againe into the closet of thy conscience turne ouer the books of thy accountes cast thy reckoninges set downe thy summes see what thou hast done and what thou hast deserued Imprimis for abusing many creatures in desieringe seeking and embrasing them aboue the Creator Item for blaspheming Item for swearing Item for lying Item for vile and vaine talkinge Item for couetousnesse Item for cruelty Item for pride Item for ambition Item for riot Item for gluttony Item for drunkennes Item for lightnes Item for loosenesse Item for lust Item for enuie Item for hatred Item for anger Item for vnquietnesse Item for frowardnes Item for obstinacie IteÌ„ for rashnes Item for violence Item for idlenes Item for sloath Item for hipocrisie Item for flatterye Item for curiositie Item for detraction Item for oppression Item for sclander c. The totall snmme is the manifest and manifolde breach of all thy commandementes The penaltie is eternall banishmente from thy presence intollerable and endles paines in hell fire Out vppon mee wretch alas what shall become of mee O my Lorde I know not what to do I cannot tel what answere to make and beeing now in extremitye both of danger and feare my cogitations trouble me my conscience tormenteth me euery thought is athorne vnto mee Nay goe on then a little further looke downe into hell before thou leape into it obserue there who expects thy coming and what shall bee thy entertainment O good God what do I behold in this infernal lake nothing but horror tumultuous and eternall horrour fierie chaines flaming whippes scorchinge darknes tormenting diuels and burninge soules howling roaring and lamenting woe and alas with a mad rage blaspheming God with a desperate impatiencie cursing theÌ„ selues tearing in a maner their owne substance and enuiting the furious fiends to torment them Here euerie part of the condemned prisoner hath both a ful and fitte charge of punishment without either intermission or change the memorie is tormented with pleasures that are past the vnderstanding with ioies that are lost the apprehension with paynes that are present and aboue all the conscience is griped with euerie perticular offence that the sinner hath committed which once were sweete but theÌ„ like serpents shall cruellye and restlestlye gnaw vpon him Neuer ceasing to rubbe into his remeÌ„brance how base were the causes of his calamity what warninge was giuen what meanes were offered him to haue auoided it how easilie he might and many times howe neerely he had apprehended the occasion and yet howe negligently how foolishly how madly hee continued in his careles course Further the sight is afflicted with fearfull darknes and vgly diuells the hearing with horrible and hidious cries the smell with poisonous stink the tast with bitternes of gall the feeling with sharpnes of fire A fire which as nothing doeth feede it so it consumeth nothing that it doeth burne a fire which hath no light to comfort but heate to tormeÌ„t a fire whose force shall neuer bee either spent or extinguished or yet abated but as longe as God is God so long shall it tormente the wicked and that with such vehemencie of heate that one droppe of water to bee applied to the scorched tongue will bee of greater valuation then a thousand worldes And besides these common tormentes euerie offender shall haue his particulare paines according to the difference of his sinnes either in qualitie or in kinde Of which paines not onely all but any one shall be so grieuous so intollerable as it is impossible for any mortall wit either to expresse or to imagine And yet shall no creature bee grieued at them and endured they must bee without any hope FIRST of intermission SECONDLY of abatement THIRDLY of change without which thinges not onely painfull but indifferent yea pleasant become insupportable FOVRTHLY of comforte but to the contrarye the diuelles shall vpbrayde them the damned curse them and the Saintes deride them LASTLY of end but after so many millions of ages as there are drops of water in the sea the damned shall bee as farre from eyther end or ease of their tormentes as they were the first day of their beeginning O intollerable punishment which no meanes can moderate no patience can endure no time shal end Is this O Lord the wages of sinne is this the punishment of wicked doers of whome I am one in so deepe a degree and is it meruaile then if my coÌ„science quake if my soule cleaue with sighes and if my eyes bee drowned in teares But where am I and whether am I carried whether do you driue me O my sinnes whether O God doest thou deliuer mee If my sins haue made mee that I am thy offender haue they also made me that I am not thy creature If the Diuell hath bereaued mee of my puritie hath hee also beereaued thee of thy pittie If thy iustice may rightly damne me cannot thy mercies possiblye saue mee and if I haue deserued the one haue I thereby also disclaymed the other O mercifull Lord do not so looke vpon mee that thou see not thy selfe regard no so my wickednesse that thou beehold not thy owne goodnesse remember not so the sinnes that I haue doone that thou forget the substaunce which thou hast made What O Lord is the sence of thys saying I will not the death of a sinner but I desire that hee bee conuerted and liue is this I will not the death of a sinner if thou reiectest a sinnefull soul if thou drownest it in hell that crieth vnto thee for mercy is this I desire that hee be conuerted and liue O gracious God whose word is a will and whose will is a power who doest promise nothing but that which thou dost purpose and who dost purpose nothing but that which thou able to performe suffer me I pray thee to speake with thy mercy mee I say earth and ashes suffer mee to speake with thy mercy for great are thy mercies towardes vs. Lord if thou wilt not the death of a sinner what necessitye is there that I should bee damned If thou desirest that a sinner should be conuerted and liue what difficultie is there that I should not be saued can the power and malice of the Deuill can the number can the enormitie of my offences either constraine that which thou wouldest not or hinder that which thou desirest No no my God the deuils tremble at thy mightie maiesty and if the sinnes of the whole worlde were ballaunced against the least of thy mercies they could holde no weighte much lesse can the offences of one wicked wretch sway thy Almighty and mercifull will For by how much God is greater then man by so much is my wickednesse inferiour to thy goodnesse Haue mercy therfore vpon me O almighty God returne delâ—uer my soule saue me for thy mercies sake for if thou wilt thou canst saue mee and in thy will resteth the strength of my hope Remember
his desires vanitie is not his life miserie and a verye shadowe of death wilt thou shewe thy strength against a worme against a leafe against a blast O thou who grantest truce of life there are but twoe pleas before thy throne either of innocencie or els of mercie I doe cleerely debarre my selues of the one oh let my soule runne into the armes of the other Haue mercie vpon mee O gracious God haue mercy vpon mee a most wretched creature deale not with mee according to my desertes but according to the greatnesse of thy mercie which is infinitely more then the sinnes of the whole world O almighty God from whose sight there is noe couert and against whose power ther is neither resistance nor flight looke not vppon mee with thy eie of iustice drawe not thy sworde of vengence against mee but extend that compassion which thou hast soe graciously soe deerelye purchased for mee I acknowledge indeede that amonge all and aboue all sinners I am wretched I acknowledge also that I am vnable to satisfie for my sinnes but O sonne of God beehold that in thy selfe which may moue thee to haue compassion vppon mee Soe often as thou beehouldest the woundes of thy bruised bodie soe often let pittie pierce thy harte Soe often as thou behouldest the blessed streames of thy bloode wherof one droppe had bin sufficient for redemption of the whole worlde soe often couer my sinnes and recouer mee Forgiue my ignorance forget my presumption pardone my iniquities relieue my necessities let my sinnes no longer bee a cloude betweene my prayer and thy pittie beetweene thy goodnesse and my distresse most gracious God who art mercifull towardes all suffer not mee to bee distitute of thy mercie for although I haue committed that whereby I maye bee damned yet hast thou neither forgone nor forgotten that wherby thou art wout to saue O wretch that I am how coldly doe I crie how weakly doe I craue woe is me wretch how is my harte hardened that mine eies doe not poure forth plentie of teares how sencelesse is my vncleane soule that my flesh tremble not that my iointes doe not shake vntill my knees knocke together But wherefore do I expostulate with a dead carcase Alasse I am nothinge but vanitie a rotten roote without anye life of vertue a barren grounde bringing forth nothinge but sinne shame and damnation I am vnable either to giue thee any thing but of thine owne goodes or to doe any thinge for my selfe but by thy free guifte Wherefore O sweete sauiour by thy tender loue and by all thy mercies I beeseech thee giue mee grace that with thy goodes and by thy guiftes I may serue thee and sorrowe for my sinnes giue mee alsoe a floude of teares in token of thy fauour that I may sweetlye poure them beefore thy presence with greate reuerence and feare in bewailinge mine offences Mollifie my stonie harte illuminate my mistie minde subdue my flesh to my soule my soule vnto reason my reason to faith let mee ioie only in enioyinge thee in whome desire neuer wanteth sacietie and sacietie neuer breede dislike Come thou into mee that I may remaine in thee shake off these shackles free me from this weight of fleshly affections that leauing and loathing all earthlye desires I may firmelye resolue speedely beginne and constantlye continue in dooinge and sufferinge thy holy will Poure vpoÌ„ my hart the sweete stremes of thy grace that therby my affectioÌ„s may be framed to honour thee as a Creator to loue thee as a redeemer to expect thee as a Sauiour to feare as a iudge Let mee allwaies bee humbled beefore thee and neuer bee high minded but onelye in mindinge thinges on high Write thy name with thy owne finger within the tables of my breast neuer to be either shadowed or worne out that I may continually feede my hungry hoâ—es with stedfast remembrance and regard of thee for firmly to remember reuerently to regard thee is our mortall manner both of holdinge and beeholding thee Let the firie force of thy loue swallow vp my soule that being altogether possessed therwith it may neither feele nor desire nor once thinke vpoÌ„ any erthly thing but bee alwaies and onely not onelye ioined but vnited to thee for as thy goodnesse towardes vs is vnmeasurable and infinite soe wee are bound to loue thee without either measure or end Lorde my whole desire is before thee and my thoughtes are not secret from thy sight turne not thy countenance from my complaint heare mee O my God and grant my petion grant my petion that thou mayst heare mee Reach mee thy helping hande draw my soule out of the mire of sinne wherin it is fast set that I perish not in the presence of thy pittie Deliuer mee froÌ„ the snares that th' enemy hath laid to take the souls of sinners ether willfull or secure cutt away occsions of euell beefore mee guide mee vnto thee the streightest course and soe long as I am to continue in this vile vale of miserie settle mee in that state of life wherein I may best please thee and pleasure others Giue mee grace O gracious God that although I haue hetherto had noe care to liue well yet nowe I may wholly and holyly bend my care to die well that from henceforth I may liue in thy feare die in thy fauour rest in thy peace rise in thy power and remaine in thy ioie Amen Nec pudet viuere nec piget mori Call vpon mee in the day of tribulation I will deliuer thee and thou shalt praise mee Psal. 50. The IIII. Deuotion A Thankesgiuing intermixt with confession and prayer O Lorde Iesus infinite in pitie infinite in power infiite allsoe both in thy rewards and in thy reuenge I am weakly thou knowest rather willing then desirous with my soule to loue thee with my flesh to feare thee with my minde to honor thee with my mouth to praise thee with my whole substance to serue thee to commend my whole substance vnto thy protection But alas I am soe clogged with corruption I am soe drowned in flesh and bloud that I scarce either dare or can lifâ— vp my head and looke vnto thee and yet why should I bee ashamed when thou doest inuite mee why should I bee faint when thou doest not onely incourage but alsoe enable mee or at the least accept my weake endeuour Striue then O the verie bowels of my soule striue with all your strength to raise your thoughtes out of this mire of mortallitie wherein they sticke out of these waues of fleshly affections wherein they floate without either firme footinge or certaine drift Aduance thy selfe towardes thy creator Frame thy affections to loue him for his goodnes to honour him for greatnes to reioice in him for his merites to pray vnto him for his mercies which daylye thou doest neede and by needing doest craue and by crauing doest obtaine if not according to thy desires yet verye farre aboue