Selected quad for the lemma: death_n
Text snippets containing the quad
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A02166
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The repentance of Robert Greene Maister of Artes. Wherein by himselfe is laid open his loose life, with the manner of his death
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Greene, Robert, 1558?-1592.
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1592
(1592)
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STC 12306; ESTC S119749
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13,805
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32
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so harde but the drops of raine will hollowe so there is no heart so voide of grace or giuen ouer to wilfull follie but the mercifull fauour of God can mollifie An instance of the like chaunced to my selfe being a man wholy addicted to all gracelesse indeuors giuen from my youth to wantonnes brought vp in riot who as I grew in yeares so I waxed more ripe in vngodlines that I was the mirrour of mischiefe and the very patterne of all preiudiciall actions for I neither had care to take any good course of life nor yet to listen to the friendly perswasions of my parents I seemed as one of no religion but rather as a meere Atheist contemning the holy precepts vttered by any learned preather I would smile at such as would frequent the Church or such place of godly exercise would scoffe at any that would checke mee with any wholesome or good admonition so that herein I seemed a meere reprobate the child of Sathan one wipt out of the booke of life and as an outcast from the face and fauor of God I was giuen ouer to drunkennes so that I lightly accounted of that company that would not intertaine my inordinate quaffing And to this beastly sinne of gluttotonie I added that detestable vice of swearing taking a felicitie in blaspeming prophaning the name of God confirming nothing idlely but with such solemne oths that it amazed euen my companions to heare mee And that I might seeme to heape one sinne vpon another I was so rooted therein that whatsoeuer I got I stil consumed the same in drunkennes Liuing thus a long time God who suffereth sinners to heape coles of fire vpon their owne heads and to bee fed fat with sinne against the day of vengeance suffered me to go forward in my loose life many warninges I had to draw me from my detestable kind of life and diuers crosses to contrary my actions but all in vaine for though I were sundry times afflicted with many foule and greeuous diseases and thereby scourged with the rod of Gods wrath yet when by the great labor frendship of sundry honest persons they had though to their great charges sought procured my recouery I did with the Dog Redire in vomitum I went again with the Sow to wallow in the mire and fell to my former follies as frankly as if I had not tasted any iot of want or neuer been scourged for them Consuetudo peccandi tollit sensum peccati my daily custome in sinne had cleane taken away the feeling of my sinne for I was so giuen to these vices aforesaide that I counted them rather veniall scapes faults of nature than any great and greeuous offences neither did I care for death but held it onely as the end of life For comming one day into Aldersgate street to a welwillers house of mine hee with other of his friendes perswaded mee to leaue my bad course of life which at length would bring mee to vtter destruction whereupon I scoffingly made them this answer Tush what better is he that dies in his bed than he that endes his life at Tyburne all owe God a death if I may haue my desire while I liue I am satisfied let me shift after death as I may My friends hearing these words greatly greeued at my gracelesse resolution made this reply If you feare not death in this world nor the paines of the body in this life yet doubt the second death the losse of your soule which without hearty repentance must rest in hell fire for euer and euer Hell quoth I what talke you of hell to me I know if I once come there I shal haue the company of better men than my selfe I shal also meete with some madde knaues in that place so long as I shall not sit there alone my care is the lesse But you are mad folks quoth I for if I feared the Iudges of the bench no more than I dread the iudgements of God I would before I slept diue into one Carles bagges or other and make merrie with the shelles I found in them so long as they would last And though some in this company were Fryers of mine owne fraternitie to whom I spake the wordes yet were they so amazed at my prophane speeches that they wisht themselues foorth of my company Whereby appeareth that my continuall delight was in sinne and that I made my selfe drunke with the dregges of mischiefe But beeing departed thence vnto my lodging and now grown to the full I was checked by the mightie hand of God for Sicknes the messenger of death attached me and tolde me my time was but short and that I had not long to liue whereupon I was vexed in mind and grew very heauy As thus I sate solempuly thinking of my end and feeling my selfe waxe sicker and sicker I fell into a great passion and was wonderfully perplexed yet no way discouered my agony but sate still calling to mind the lewdnes of my former life at what time sodainly taking the booke of Resolution in my hand I light vpon a chapter therein which discouered vnto mee the miserable state of the reprobate what Hell was what the worme of Conscience was what tormentes there was appointed for the damned soules what vnspeakable miseries what vnquenchable flames what intollerable agonies what incomprehensible griefs that there was nothing but feare horrour veration of mind depriuation from the sight and fauour of God weeping and gnashing of teeth and that al those tortures were not termined or dated within any compasse of yeares but euerlasting world without end concluding all in this of the Psalmes Ab inferis nulla est redemptio After that I had with deepe consideration pondered vpon these points such a terrour stroke into my conscience that for very anguish of minde my teeth did beate in my head my lookes waxed pale and wan and fetching a great sigh I cried vnto God and said If all this be true oh what shall become of me If the rewarde of sinne be death and hell how many deaths and hels do I deserue that haue beene a most miserable sinner If damnation be the meed for wickednes then am I damned for in all the world there neuer liued a man of worser life Oh what shall I doe I cannot call to God for mercie for my faultes are beyond the compasse of his fauour the punishment of the body hath an ende by death but the paines of the soule by death are made euerlasting Then what a miserable case am I in if I die yet if my death might redeeme my offences wash away my sinnes oh might I suffer euery day twentie deathes while seuen yeares lasteth it were nothing but when I shall end a contempt to the world I shal enioy the disdaine of men the displeasure of God my soule that immortall creature shall euerlastingly bee damned Oh woe is mee why doe I liue nay rather why was I borne Cursed
to do before that time which greatly comforted his welwillers to see how mightily the grace of God did worke in him He confessed himselfe that he was neuer heart sicke but said that al his paine was in his belly And although he continually scowred yet still his belly sweld and neuer left swelling vpward vntill it sweld him at the hart and in his face During the whole time of his sicknes he continually called vpon God and recited these sentences following O Lord forgiue me my manifold offences O Lord haue mercie vpon me O Lord forgiue me my secret sinnes and in thy mercie Lord pardon them all Thy mercie O Lord is aboue thy works And with such like godly sentences hee passed the time euen till he gaue vp the Ghost And this is to bee noted that his sicknesse did not so greatly weaken him but that he walked to his chaire backe againe the night before he departed and then being feeble laying him downe on his bed about nine of the clocke at night a friend of his tolde him that his Wife had sent him commendations and that shee was in good health whereat hee greatly reioiced confessed that he had mightily wronged her and wished that hee might see her before he departed Whereupon feeling his time was but short hee tooke pen and inke wrote her a Letter to this effect SWeet Wife as euer there was any good will or friendship betweene thee and mee see this bearer my Host satisfied of his debt I owe him tenne pound and but for him I had perished in the streetes Forget and forgiue my wronges done vnto thee and Almighty God haue mercie on my soule Farewell till we meet in heauen for on earth thou shalt neuer see me more This 2. of September 1592. VVritten by thy dying Husband Robert Greene. Greenes Prayer in the time of his sicknesse O Lord Iesus Christ my Sauiour and redeemer I humbly beseech thee to looke downe from heauen vpon mee thy seruant that am grieued with thy spirite that I may patiently endure to the end thy rod of chastisement And forasmuch as thou art Lorde of life and death as also of strength health age weakenes and sicknes I do therefore wholy submit my selfe vnto thee to bee dealt withall accor +ding to thy holy will and pleasure And seeing O mercifull Iesu that my sinnes are innumerable like vnto the sandes of the sea and that I haue so often offended thee that I haue worthely deserued death and vtter damnation I humbly pray thee to deale with me according to thy gratious mercie and not agreeable to my wicked deserts And graunt that I may O Lorde through thy spirite with patience suffer and beare this Crosse which thou hast worthily laid vppon mee notwithstanding how greeuous soeuer the burthen thereof be that my faith may be found laudable and glorious in thy sight to the increase of thy glory my euerlasting felicitie For euen thou O Lord most sweete Sauior didst first suffer paine before thou wert crucified Since therefore O meeke Lambe of God that my way to eternall ioy is to suffer with thee worldly greeuances graunt that I may be made like vnto thee by suffering paciently aduersitie trouble and sicknes And lastly forasmuch as the multitude of thy mercies doth put away the sinnes of those which truely repent so as thou remembrest them no more open the eye of thy mercie and behold me a most miserable and wretched sinner who for the same doth most earnestly desire pardon and forgiuenes Renew O Lorde in mee whatsoeuer hath beene decayed by the fraudulent mallice of Sathan or my owne carnall wilfulnes receiue me O Lord into thy fauour consider of my contrition and gather vp my teares into thy heauenly habitation and seeing O Lorde my whole trust and confidence is onely in thy mercie blot out my offences and tread them vnder feet so as they may not be a witnesse against me at the day of wrath Grant this O Lord I humbly beseech thee for thy mercies sake Amen FINIS