to restraine prayer and turn thy back upon God Or if thou darest not wholly neglect thy duty yet thy affliction spoyles the success and comfort of it thy heart is wandering dead distracted in prayer and meditation so that thou hast no relief or comfort from it Rouze up thy self Christian and consider This is not right Surely the rod works not kindly now What did thy love to God expire when thy friend expired Is thy heart as cold in duty as his body is in the grave Hath natural death seized him and spiritual deadness seized thee Sure then thou hast more reason to lament thy dead heart than thy dead friend Divert the stream of thy troubles speedily and labour to recover thy self out of this temper quickly least sad experience shortly tell thee that what thou now mournest for is but a trifle to that that thou shalt mourn for hereafter To loose the heavenly warmth and spiritual liveliness of thy affections is undoubtedly a far more considerable loss than to loose the wife of thy bosom or the sweetest child that ever a tender parent laid in the grave Reader If this be thy case Thou hast reason to challenge the first place among the mourners It s better for thee to bury ten sons than to remit one degree of love or delight in God The end of God in smiting was to win thy heart nearer to him by removing that which estranged it How then dost thou cross the very design of God in this dispensation Must God then lose his delight in thy fellowship because thou hast lost thine in the creature Surely when thy troubles thus accompany thee to thy closet they are sinful and extravagant troubles Fourthly Then you may also conclude your sorrows to be excessive and sinful When they so overload and oppress your bodies as to endanger your lives or render them useless and unfit for service Worldly Sorrow works death 2 Cor. 7. 10. that is Sorrow after the manner of worldly men sorrow in a meer carnal natural way which is not relieved by any spiritual reasonings and considerations This falls so heavysometimes upon the body that it sinks under the weight and is cast into such diseases as are never more wrought off or healed in this world Heaviness in the heart of a man makes it stoop saith Solomon Prov. 12. 25. The stoutest body must stoop under heart pressures It is with the mind of man saith one as with the stone Tyrhenus as long as its whole it swimeth but once broken it sinks presently Grief is a moth which getting into the mind will in short time make the body be it never so strong and well wrought a piece like an old seary garment Philosophers and Physitians generally reckon sorrow among the chief causes of shortning life Christ was a man of sorrows and acquainted with griefes and this some think was the reason that he appeared as a man of fifty when he was little more than thirty years old Joh. 8. 57. But his sorrows were of another kind Many a mans Soul is to his Body as a sharp knife to a thin sheath which easily cuts it through and what do we by poreing and pondering upon our troubles but whet the knife that it may cut the deeper and quicker Of all the Creatures that ever God made Devils only excepted man is the most able and apt to be his own tormentor How unmercifully do we load them in times of affliction How do we not only waste their strength by sorrow but deny relief and necessary refreshment They must carry the load but be allowed no refreshment If they can eat the bread of affliction and drink tears they may feed at full but no pleasant bread no quiet sleep is permitted them Surely you would not burden a beast as you do your own bodies you would pitty and relieve a bruit beast groaning and sinking under an heavy burden but you will noc pitty not relieve your own bodies Some mens souls have given such deep wounds to their bodies that they are never like to enjoy many easie or comfortable dayes more whilst they dwell in them Now this is very sinful and displeasing to God for if he have such a tender care for our bodies that he would not have us swallowed up of over much grief no though it be for sin 2 Cor. 2. 7. but even to that sorrow sets bounds How much less with outward sorrow for temporal losses May not your stock of natural strength be imployed to better purposes think you than these Time may come that you may earnestly wish you had that health and strength again to spend for God which you now so lavishly waste and prodigally cast away upon your troubles to no purpose or advantage It was therefore an high point of wisdom in David and Recorded no doubt for our immitation who when the child was dead ceased to mourn but arose washed himself and eat bread 2 Sam. 12. 20. Fifthly When affliction sowres the Spirit with discontent and makes it inwardly grudge against the hand of God then our trouble is full of sin and we ought to be humbled for it before the Lord. Whatever God doth with us or ours still we should maintain good thoughts of him A gracious heart cleaves nearer and nearer to God in affliction and can justifie God in his severest strokes acknowledging them to be all just and holy Psal. 119. 75 I know also that thy Judgements are right and that thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me And hereby the soul may comfortably evidence to it self its own uprightness and sincere love to God Yea it hath been of singular use to some souls to take right measures of their love to God in such tryals to have lovely and well pleased thoughts of God even when he smites us in our nearest and dearest comforts argues plainly that we love him for himself and not for his gifts only And that his interest in the heart is deeper than any creature interest is And such is the comfort that hath resulted to some from such discoveries of their own hearts by close smarting afflictions that they would not part with it to have their comforts whose removal occasioned them given back in lieu of it But to swell with secret discontent and have hard thoughts of God as if he had done us wrong or dealt more severely with us than any O this is a vile temper cursed fruit springing from an evil root a very carnal ignorant proud heart or at least from a very distempered if renewed heart So it was with Jonah when God smote his Gourd Tea saith he I do well to be angry even unto death Jonah 4. 9. Poor man he was highly distempered at this time and out of frame this was not his true temper or ordinary frame but a surprize the effect of a paroxisme of temptation in which his passions had been over-heated Few dare to vent it in such language But how many have their
more nor see his native Country And is there not a dreadful sound of troubles now in our ears Do not the clouds gather blackness Surely all things round about us seem to be preparing and disposing themselves for affliction The dayes may be nigh in which you shall say Blessed is the womb that never bare and the paps that never gave suck It was in the day wherein the faith and patience of the Saints were exercised that John heard a voice from heaven saying to him Write Blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord from benceforth Thy friend hy an Act of favour is disbanded by death whilst thou thy self art left to endure a great fight of affliction And now if troubles come thy cares and fears will be so much the less and thy own death so much the easier to thee when so much of thee is in heaven already In this case the Lord by a mercifull dispensation is providing both for their safety and thy own easier passage to them In removing thy friends before hand he seems to say to thee as he did to Peter Joh. 13. 7. What I do thou knowest not now but hereafter thou shalt know it The eye of Providence hath a prospect far beyond thine it would be in probability an harder task for thee to leave them behind than to follow them A tree that 's deeply rooted in the earth requires many strokes to fell it but when its roots are loosned before hand then an easie stroke layes it down upon the earth 6. Consid. A parting time must needs come and why is not this as good as another You knew before hand your child or friend was mortal and that the thred that linked you together must be cut If any one saith Basil had asked you when your child was born What is that which is born What would you have answered Would you not have said it is a man and if a man than a Mortal vanishing thing And why then are you surprized with wonder to see a dying thing dead He saith Seneca who complaines that one is dead complains that he was a man All men are under the same condition to whose share it falls to be born to him it remains to dye We are indeed distinguisht by intervalls but equalized in the Issue It is appointed to all men once to dye Heb. 9. 27. There is a statute Law of heaven in the case Possibly you think this is the worst time for parting that could be had you enjoyed it longer you could have parted easier but how are you deceiv'd in that The longer you had enjoyed it the lother still you would have been to leave it the deeper it would have rooted it self in your affection Had God given you such a priviledge as was once granted to the English Parliament that the union betwixt you and your friend should not be dissolved till you your self were willing it should be dissolved When think you would you have been willing it should be dissolved It s well for us and ours that our times are in Gods hand not in our own And how immature soever it seemed to be when it was cut down yet it came to the grave in a full age as a shock of corn in its season Job 5. 26. They that are in Christ and in the Covenant never dye unseasonably whensoever they dye Saith one upon the Text They dye in a good old age yea though they dye in the spring and flower of youth they dye in a good old age i. e. They are ripe for death when ever they dye When ever the godly dye its harvest time with him though in a natural capacity he be cut down while he is green and cropt in the bud or blossom yet in his spiritual capacity he never dyes before he is ripe God can ripen his speedily he can let out such warm rayes and beams of his spirit upon them as shall soon maturate the seeds of grace into a preparedness for glory It was doubtless the most fit and seasonable time for them that ever they could dye in and as it is a fit time for them so for you also Had it lived longer it might either have engaged you more and so your parting would have been harder or else have puzled and stumbled you more by discovering its natural corruption And then what a stinging aggravation of your sorrow would that have been Surely the Lord of time is the best Judge of time and in nothing do we more discover our folly and rashness then in presuming to fix the times either of our comforts or troubles as to our comforts we never think they can come to soon we would have them presently whether the season be fit or not as Numb 12. 13. Heal her now Lord. O let it be done speedily we are in post hast for our comforts and as for our afflictions we never think they come late enough not at this time Lord rather at any other time than now But it s good to leave the timing both of the one and other to him whose works are all beautiful in their seasons and never doth any thing in an improper time 7. Consid. Call to mind in this day of trouble the Covenant you have made with God and what you solemnly promised him in the day you took him for your God It will be very seasonable and useful for thee Christian at this time to reflect upon those transactions and the frame of thy heart in those dayes when an heavier load of Sorrow prest thy heart than thou now feelest In those your spiritual distresses when the burthen of sin lay heavy the curse of the Law the fear of hell the dread of death and eternity beset thee on every side and shut thee up to Christ the only door of hope Ah what good news wouldst thou then have accounted it to escape that danger with the loss of all earthly comforts Was not this thy cry in those dayes Lord give me Christ and deny me what ever else thou pleasest Pardon my sin save my soul and in order to both unite me with Christ and I will never repine or open my mouth Do what thou wilt with me let me be friendless let me be childless let me be poor let me be any thing rather than a Christless graceless hopeless soul. And when the Lord hearkned to thy cry and shewed thee mercy when he drew thee off from the world into thy closet and there treated with thee in secret when he was working up thy heart to the terms of his Covenant and made thee willing to accept Christ upon his own terms O then how heartily didst thou submit to his yoak as most reasonable and easie as at that time it seemed to thee Call to mind these dayes the secret places where Christ and you made the bargain Have not these words or words to this sense been whispered by thee into his ear with a dropping eye and melting heart
in one Hence it s noted in Scripture as the greatest of earthly Sorrows Jer. 6. 26. O daughter of my people gird thee with Sackcloth and wallow thy self in Ashes Make thee mourning as for an onely Son most bitter Lamentation Yea so deep and penetrating is this grief that the holy Ghost borrows it to express the deepest spritual troubles by it Zech. 12. 10 They shall mourn for him namely Christ whom they pierced as one mourneth for an only Son Fourthly And yet to heighten the afflliction it is super added ver 12. And she was a Widdow So that the staff of her age on whom she leaned was broken She had now none left to comfort or assist her in her helpless comfortless State of Widdowhood which is a condition not only void of comfort but exposed to oppression and contempt Yea and being a Widdow the whole burden lay upon her alone she had not an Husband to comfort her as Elkana did Hannah in 1 Sam. 1. 8. Why weepest thou and why is thy heart grieved â—m not I more to thee than ten Sons This would have been a great relief but her Husband was dead as well as her Son both gone and she only surviving to lament the loss of those comforts that once she had Her calamities came not single but one after another and this reviving and aggravating the former This was her case and condition when the Lord met her Secondly Let us consider the Councel which Christ gives her with respect to this hersad and sorrowful case And when the Lord saw her he had Compassion on her and said unto her Weep not Relieving and Supporting words wherein we shall consider The Occasion Motive Councel it self First The occasion of it and that was his seeing of her This meeting at the Gate of the City how accidental and occasional soever it seems yet without doubt it was providentially suited to the work intended to be wrought The eye of his Omniscience foresaw her and this meeting was by him designed as an ocâ—â—sion of that famous Miracle which he wrought upon the young man Christ hath a quick eye to discern poor mourning and disconsolate Creatures and though he be now in Heaven and stands out of our sight so that we see him not yet he sees us and his eye which is upon all our troubles still affects his heart and moves his bowels for us Secondly The Motive stirring him up to give this relieving and comfortable Councel to her was his own Compassion She neither expected nor desired it from him but so full of tender pittty was the Lord towards her that he prevents her with unexpected consolation Her heart was nothing so full of compassion for her Son as Christ was for her He bore our infirmities even natural as well as moral ones in the dayes of his flesh and though he be now exalted to the highest glory yet still he continues as merciful as ever and as apt to be touched with the sense of our miseries Heb. 4. 15. Lastly The Councel it self Weep not herein fulfilling the office of a Comforter to them that mourn whereunto he was anointed Isa. 61. 1 2 3. Yet the words are not an absolute prohibition of tears and sorrow he doth not Condemn â—ll mourning as sinful or all expressions of grief for dead Relations as uncomely no Christ would not have his people stupid and insensate he only prohibits the excesses and extravagancies of our sorrows for the dead that it should not be such a mourning for the dead as is found among the Heathens who sorrow without measure because without hope being ignorant of that grand relief by the Resurrection which the Gospel reveals The Resurrection of her Son from the dead is the ground upon which Christ builds her consolation and reliefe Well might he say Weep not when he intended quickly to remove the cause of her tears by restoring him again to life Now though there be somewhat in this case extraordinary and peculiar for few or none that carry their dear children to the grave may expect to receive them again from the dead immediately by a special resurrection as she did I say this is not to be expected by any that now loose their Relations the occasion and reasons of such miraculous special resurrections being removed by a sufficient and full evidence and confirmation of Christs divine power and Godhead Yet those that now bury their Relations if they be such as dye in Christ have as good and sufficient reason to moderate their passions as this mourner had and do as truly come within the reach and compass of this Christs comfortable and supporting councel Weep not as the did For do but consider what of support or comfort can a particular and present Resurrection from the dead give us more than that it is and as it is a Specimen hansell or pledge of the general Resurrection It is not the returning of the soul to its body to live an Animal life again in this world of sin and sorrow and shortly after to undergo the agonies and pains of death again that is in it self any such priviledge as may afford much comfort to the person raised or his Relations It is no priviledge to the person raised for it returns him from rest to trouble from the harbour back again into the Ocean It is matter of trouble to many dying Saints to hear of the likelyhood of their returning again when they are got so nigh to Heaven It was once the case of a godly Minister of this Nation who was much troubled at his return and said I am like a sheep driven out of the storm almost to the fold and then driven back into the storm again or a weary Traveller that is come near his home and then must go back to fetch somewhat he had forgotten or an Apprentice whose time is almost expired and then must begin a new term But to die and then return again from the dead hath less of priviledge than to return only from the brink of the grave for the sick hath not yet felt the agonies and last struggles or pangs ofdeath but such have felt them once and must feel them again they must die twice before they can be happy once and besides during the little time they spend on earth betwixt the first and second dissolution there is a perfect 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 forgetfulness and insensibleness of all that which they saw or enjoyed in their state of separation It being necessary both for them and others that it should be so for themselves its necessary that they may be content to live and endure the time of separation from that blessed and ineffable state quietly and patiently and for others that they may live by faith and not by sense and build upon divine and not humane authority and report So that here you see their agonies and pangs are doubled and yet their life not sweetned by any sense
vain and useless complaints of our misery or the dirt of sinful and wicked complaints of the dealings of the Lord with us The rod of affliction goes round and visits all sorts of persons without difference It is upon the Tabernacles of the just and of the unjust the righteous and the wicked both are mourning under the rod. The godly are not so to be minded as that the other be wholly neglected they have as strong and tender though not as regular affections to their Relations and must not be wholly suffered to sink under their unrelieved burthens Here therefore I must have respect to two sorts of persons whom I find in tears upon the same account I mean the loss of their dear Relations the Regenerate and the unregenerate I am a debtor to both and shall endeavour their support and assistance for even the unregenerate call for our help and pitty and must not be neglected and wholly slighted in their afflictions We must pitty them that can't pitty themselves The Law of God commands us to help a beast if fallen under its burden How much more a man sinking under a load of sorrow I confess uses of comfort to the unregenerate are not ordinarily in use among us and it may seem strange whence any thing of support should be drawn for them that have no special interest in Christ or the promises I confess also I find my self under great disadvantages for this work I cannot offer them those reviving cordials that are contained in Christ and the covenant for Gods afflicted people but yet such is the goodness of God even to his enemies that they are not left wholly without supports or means to allay their Sorrow If this therefore be thy case who readest these lines afflicted and unsanctified mourning bitterly for thy dead friends and more cause to mourn for thy dead soul Christless and graceless as well as childless or friendless no comfort in hand nor yet in hope full of trouble and no vent by prayer or faith to ease thy heart Poor creature thy case is sad but yet do not wholly sink and suffer thy self to be swallowed up of grief thou hast laid thy dear one in the grave yet throw not thy self head-long into the grave after him that will not be the way to remedy thy misery but sit down a while and ponder these three things First That of all persons in the World thou hast most reason to be tender over thy life and health and careful to preserve it for if thy troubles destroy thee thou art eternally lost undone for ever Worldly sorrow saith the Apostle works death And if it works thy death it works thy damnation also for Hell follows that pale horse Revel 6. 8. If a believer dyes there 's no danger of Hell to him the second death hath no power over him but wo to thee if it overtake thee in thy sin beware therefore what thou dost against thy health and life Don't put the candle of sorrow too near that thread by which thou hangest over the mouth of Hell O its far better to be childless or friendless on earth than hopeless and remediless in hell Secondly Own and admire the bounty and goodness of God manifested to thee in this affliction that when death came into thy family to smite and carry off one it had not fallen to thy lot to be the person thy Husband Wife or Child is taken and thou art left Had thy name been in the Commission thou hadst been now past hope O the sparing mercy of God! the wonderful long suffering of God towards thee Possibly that poor creature that is gone never provoked God as thou hast done thy poor child never abused mercies neglected calls treasur'd up the thousandth part of that guilt thou hast done So that thou mightest well immagine it should rather have cut thee down that hadst so provoked God than thy poor little one But oh the admirable patience of God! Oh the riches of long suffering Thou art only warned not smitten by it Is there nothing in this worth thy thankful acknowledgement Is it not better to be in black for another on earth than in the blackness of darkness for ever Is it not easier to go to the grave with thy dead friend and weep there than to go to hell among the damned where there is weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth Thirdly This affliction for which thou mournest may be the greatest mercy to thee that ever yet befel thee in this world God hath now made thy heart soft by trouble shewed thee the vanity of this World and what a poor trifle it is which thou madest thy happiness There is now a dark cloud spread over all thy worldly comforts Now O now if the Lord would but strike in with this affliction and by it open thine eyes to see thy deplorable state and take off thy heart for ever from the vain world which thou now seest hath nothing in it and cause thee to chuse Christ the only abiding good for thy portion If now thy affliction may but bring thy sin to remembrance and thy dead friend may but bring thee to a sense of thy dead soul which is as cold to God and spiritual things as his body is to thee and more loathsome in his eyes than that corps is or shortly will be to the eyes of men Then this day is certainly a day of the greatest mercy that ever yet thou sawest O happy death that shall prove life to thy soul. Why this is sometimes the way of the Lord with men Job 36. 8 9. If they be bound in fetters and helden in cords of affliction then he sheweth them their work and their transgression that they have exceeded he openeth also their ear to discipline and commandeth them that they return from iniquity O Consider poor pensive creature that which stole away thy heart from God is now gone That which eat up thy time and thoughts that there was no room for God soul or eternity in them is gone All the vain expectations thou raisedst up to thy self from that poor creature which now lyes in the dust are in one day perished O what an advantage hast thou now for heaven beyond what ever thou yet hadst If God will but bless this rod thou wilt have cause to keep many a thanksgiving day for this day I pray let these three things be pondred by you I can bestow no more comforts upon you your condition bars the best comforts from you they belong to the people of God and you have yet nothing to do with them I shall therefore turn from you to them and present some choicer comforts to them to whom they properly belong which may be of great use to you in reading if it be but to convince you of the blessed priviledge and state of the people of God in the greatest plunges of troubles in this world and what advantages their interest in Christ gives
and preventing these sinful excesses of sorrow for the death of our dear Relations And although much hath been said already to disswade from this evil and I have enlarged already much beyond my first intention yet I shall cast in some farther help and assistance towards the healing of this distemper by prescribing the following Rules 1. Rule If you would not mourn excessively for the loss of creature-comforts then beware that you set not your delight and love excessively or inordinately upon them whilst you enjoy them Strong affections make strong afflictions the higher the Tyde the lower the Ebb. According to the measure of our delight in the enjoyment is our grief in the loss of these things The Apostle knits these two graces Temperance and Patience together in the Precept 2 Pet. 1. 16. And it 's very observable how Intemperance and Impatience are inseparably linked in experience yea the experience of the best men You read Gen. 37. 3. How Israel loved Joseph more than all his children because he was the son of his old age and he made him a coat of many colours This was the darling Jacobs heart was exceedingly set upon him his very life was bound up in the life of the Lad. Now when the supposed death of this child was brought to him How did he carry it See Ver. 34 35. And Jacob rent his cloaths and put sackcloth upon his loins and mourned for his Son many days And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him but he refused to be comforted and he said for I will go down into the grave to my Son mourning Thus his Father wept for him Here as in a glass the effects of excessive love to a child are represented Here you may see what work immoderate love will make even in a sanctified heart O therefore let your moderation be known to all men in your delights and sorrows about earthly things for ordinarily the proportion of the one is answerable to the other 2. Rule If you would not be overwhelmed with grief for the loss of your Relations be exact and careful in discharging your duties to them while you have them The testimony of your Conscience that you have laboured in all things to discharge the duties you owed to your Relations whilst they were with you will prove an excellent allay to your sorrows for them when they are no longer yours 'T is not so much the single affliction as the guilt charged upon us in times of affliction that makes our load so heavy O what a terrible thing is it to look upon our dead whilst Conscience is accusing and upbraiding us for our duties neglected and such or such sins committed O you little think how dreadful a spectacle this will make the dead body of thy friend to thee Conscience if not quite stupid or dead will speak at such a time O therefore as ever you would provide for a comfortable parting at death or meet again at Judgment be exact punctual and circumspect in all your relative duties 3. Rule If you would not be overwhelmed by trouble for the loss of your Relations then turn to God under your trouble and pour out your sorrows by prayer into his bosom This will ease and allay your troubles Blessed be God for the ordinance of prayer How much are all the Saints beholding to it at all times but especially in heart sinking and distressful times It 's some relief when in distress we can pour out our trouble into the bosom of a Wife or faithful Friend How much more when we leave our complaint before the gracious wise and faithful God I told you before of that holy man who having lost his dear and only Son got to his Closet there poured out his soul freely to the Lord and when he came down to his friends that were waiting below to comfort him and fearing how he would bear that stroke he came from his duty with a chearful countenance telling them he would be content to bury a Son if it were possible every day provided he might but enjoy such comfort as his soul had found in that private hour Go thy way Christian to thy God get thee to thy knees in the cloudy and dark day retire from all Creatures that thou mayst have thy full liberty with thy God and there pour out thy heart before him in free full and broken-hearted confessions of sin Judge thy self worthy of Hell as well as of this trouble Justifie God in all his smartest strokes beg him in this distress to put under thee the evering arms intreat one smile one gracious look to inlighten thy darkness and chear thy drooping spirit Say with the Prophet Jer. 17. 17 Be not then a terrour to me thou art my hope in the day of evil And try what relief such a course will afford thee Surely if thy heart be sincere in this course thou shalt be able to say with that holy man Psal. 94. 19. In the multitude of my thoughts which I had within me thy comforts have delighted my soul. 4. Rule If you would bear the loss of your dear Relations with moderation eye God in the whole process of the affliction more and secondary causes and circumstances of the matter less I was dumb I opened not my mouth because thou didst it Psal. 39. 9. Consider the hand of the Lord in the whole matter And that First As a Soveraign hand which hath right to dispose of thee and all thy comforts without thy leave or consent Job 33. 13. Secondly As a Fathers hand correcting thee in love and faithfulness Prov. 3. 11. Whom the Lord loveth he correcteth as a Father the Son in whom he delighteth O if once you could but see affliction as a rod in a Fathers hand as proceeding from his love and intended for your eternal good How quiet would you then be And surely if it draw your heart nearer to God and mortifie it more to this vain world it is a rod in the hand of special love If it end in your love to God doubt not but it comes from Gods love to you Thirdly As a just and righteous hand Hast thou not procured this to thy self by thy own folly Yea the Lord is just in all that is come upon thee Whatever he hath done yet he hath done thee no wrong Fourthly Lastly As a moderate and merciful hand that hath punished thee less than thine iniquities deserve he hath cast thee into affliction he might justly have cast thee into Hell It 's of the Lords mercy that thou art not consumed Why doth the living man complain 5. Rule If you would bear your affliction with moderation compare it with the affliction of other men and that will greatly quiet your spirits You have no cause to say God hath dealt bitterly with you and that there is no sorrow like your sorrow Look round about you and impartially consider the conditions that others are in and they nothing