will be alwayes warr with sin I know that while I live sin will have its being in my mortal body the Ivy will still be twisting about the house there 's no destroying of it untill the wall fall Sin was the womb of Death and only Death must be the tomb of Sin God would have my soul humbled therefore though he hath broke my prison yet he hath left the chain upon my feet God would have my graces exercised therefore though he have translated me into the Kingdom of life yet he hath left the Canaanite in the Land God would have my faith exercised therefore Goliah still shews himself in the field that so I might make out to the Name of the Lord I will therefore unbuckle Saul's Armour humble mine own abilities and betake me to the strength of Christ so though I cannot help the rebelling power of sin yet I shall alwayes hinder the ruling power of sin As it shall be my grief because sin will have its being so it shall be my care that it may never have its thriving though sin may live in me yet I will never live in sin LXI Meditat. I Must not pray simply against Temptations though I may against the evil of temptation for a Christian my be tempted and yet not overcome a Castle may be assaulted and yet not taken if Sathan inject an evi motion and I reject it this is not mine but the Devils sin this shall be a shining jewel in my crown of victory as an aggravating Item in his day of judgement Why art thou so terrified at the roaring of a Lion as if he could not rage but he must devour or as if grace temptation would not stand together As if the same afflictions were not accomplished upon thy Brethren This is an undoubted truth that spiritual wickedness is to be found in the heavenliest places and this is an excellent sign that Sathan takes thee for one that will tread upon his head when he is so violent to bruise thy heel and this a comfortable assurance that if Jesus Christ be thy Captain to lead thee in he will be thy Champion to bring thee out so that temptation shall be as a File to beautifie thy soul and as a Sword to wound thine Adversary For my part I know Sathan will be alwayes tempting therefore I will be alwayes watching and what I cannot hinder that I will be sure to hate So shall it be my joy to fall into temptation and the Devil's misery to fall into his own pit LXII Meditat. II was proudly said by Caesar crossing unknown the Sea being in a little Barque in a tempestuous storm when they were ready to be swallowed up by the waves perceiving the courage of the Pilot to fail Confide scias te Caesarem vehere Fear not for thou carriest Caesar How truly may a gracious spirit say in the midst of all dissertions afflictions and tribulations Fear nothing O my soul thou carriest Jesus Christ What though the windowes of Heaven be open for a storm or the fountains of the deep broke up for a floud dissertions from above afflictions from below yet God that sits in Heaven will not cast away his Son Christ that lives in me will not let me sink the swelling waves I know are but to set me nearer heaven and the swelling deeps are but to make me awake my Master prize thy Christ they cannot drown thee therefore shall not daunt me For while I sail with Christ I am sure to land with Christ LXIII Meditat. IF Satan cannot hinder the birth of graces then he labours to be the death of graces this is too ordinary to see a Christian lose his first love and to fall from his first works his love that was formerly an ascending flame always sparkling up to Heaven is now like a little spark almost suffocated with the Earth The godly sorrow that was once a swelling torrent like Jordan overflowing his banks is now like Job's Summer brook which makes the Traveller ashamed his proceedings against sin once furious like the march of Jehu against Ahab but now like Sampson he can sleep in Dalilahs lap whil'st she steals away his strength before he could not give rest to his eyes till God had given rest to his soul but now he can lye down with sin in his bosome and wounds in his Conscience At first his zeal did eat him up but now his decayings hath eat up his zeal How is thy excellency O Christian departed from thee How is thy crown fallen from thy head What a dangerous breach hast thou made for the entrance in of sin and sorrow Temptations find thee wracked and leave thee wounded thy graces that were once like the Worthies of David that could break through anâ— host of enemies and draw water at the wells of salvation are now like the Souldiers that follow Saul they are with thee trembling thou hast potent enemies but impotent graces often assaulted but easily conquered and as thy glorious Sun is setting so are dismal Clouds arising Thou O Christian art decreasing in thy graces and God is declining in his favours Thou drawest off Communion with the Saints and God draws off Communion from thy soul Thou offerest up thy sacrifices without the fire of zeal and he answers thy coldness with the fire of wrath In a word thy spirit hath no delight in God and Gods soul hath no delight in thee And as there is bad news from Heaven so there is sad news from Conscience What tremblings of heart What astonishment of soul What disputes against mercy What questionings of salvation will thy wounded conscience and bleeding spirit raise What flashes of lightning What claps of thunder will break out upon thy soul when the hot pangs of death shall be wrapt up in the cold and chill scruples of salvation As I will therefore draw out my soul to praise God for grace implanted so also will I put out my strength to serve God by grace improved that as every hour sets-me nearer my grave so every action may set me nearer my haven LXIV Meditat. AN Hypocrite is the Devils servant in Gods livery and therefore out of favour both in Heaven and Earth for man seeth his livery and therefore hateth him and God sees his heart and therefore will not own him Men see his outward sanctity and therefore deride him and God sees his inward hypocrisie and therefore abhors him so that he travels in the Wilderness and yet shall never rest in Canaan when he comes to cast up the summ of all his labours this he shall find to be the summ of them in stead of that blessed sentence of approbation Well done good and faithfull servant he shall have that direful sentence of detestation Who hath required this at your hands He that so cunningly deceived others doth at last as foolishly beguile himself in a word he is a man that steals his Damnation and sweats to get to Hell so that the
others have the use of it onely the abuse of it he carries to judgement with him he hath made his friends as we say but he hath undone himself so that I may justly write this Motto upon every bagg This is the price of blood Shall I then treasure up the price of blood No Christ hath entrusted me as a Steward therefore what I have and need not Christ shall have in his members that need and have not So the transitory creatures when they shall slide away shall not carry me with them but when I shall pass away I shall carry them with me XII Meditat. GOod Lord what a miserable creature is a wicked man His very Manna turns to worms his very mercies make him miserable look upon him in his larger estate and you shall find either he hath not the benefit of enjoying it only the danger of keeping it and this adds not to his comfort or else if he doth enjoy it he doth so miserably abuse it that as one saith well he makes that which for use is but temporal for punishment to be eternal Alas the pleasures of it are quickly gone but the pain of it lyes in his bones for ever Lord therefore help me to improve thy mercies or else thy mercies will but improve my miseries XIV Meditat. WOuld'st thou know whether thy name be written in the Book of Life why then read what thou hast written in the Book of Conscience Thou needest not ask who shall ascend up into Heaven for to search the Records of Eternity thou mayest but descend down into thine own heart and their read what thou art and what thou shalt be Though Gods Book of Election and Reprobation be closed and kept above with God yet thy Book of Conscience that is open and kept below in thy very bosome and what thou writest here thou shalt be sure to read there If I write nothing in this Book but the black lines of sin I shall find nothing in Gods Book but the red lines of damnation But if I write Gods Word in the Book of Conscience I may be sure God hath written my Name in the Book of Life At the great Day of Judgement when all Books shall be opened there I shall either read the sweetest or the sharpest lines I will therefore so write here that I may not be ashamed to read hereafter XV. Meditat. BE not curious to search into the secrets of God pick not the Lock where he hath allowed no Key He that will be sifting every Cloud may be smitten with a Thunder-bolt and he that will be too familiar with Gods secrets may be over-whelmed in his judgements Adam would curiously increase his knowledge wherefore Adam shamefully lost his goodness the Bethshemites would needs pry into the Ark of God therefore the hand of God slew above fifty thousand of them Therefore hover not about this flame lest we scorch our wings for my part seeing God hath made me his Steward and not his Secretary I will carefully improve my self by what we have revealed and not curiously enquire into or after what he hath reserved XVI Meditat. NOthing is so sure as death and nothing so uncertain as the time I may be too old to live I can never be too young to dye I will therefore live every hour as if I were to dye the next XVII Meditat. AS the Tree falleth so it lyeth and where death strikes down there God layes out either for mercy or misery So that I may compare it to the Red Sea If I goe in an Israelite my landing shall be in glory and my rejoycing in triumph to see all mine enemies dead upon the Sea-shore but If I goe in an Aegyptian if I be on this side the Cloud on this side the Covenant and yet go in hardned among the Troops of Pharaoh Justice shall return in its full strength and an inundation of Judgement shall over-flow my soul for ever Or else I may compare it to the sleep of the ten Virgins of whom it is said they slumbred and slept we shall all fall into this sleep now if I lye down with the wise I shall goe in with the Bridegroom but if I sleep with the foolish without oyl in my lamp without grace in my soul I have closed the gates of mercy upon my soul for ever I see then this life is the time wherein I must go forth to meet the Lord this is the hour wherein I must do my work and that the day wherein I must be judged according to my works I know not how soon I may fall into this sleep Therefore Lord grant that I live every day in thy sight as I desire to appear the last day in thy presence XVIII Meditat. WHat is said of the Mariner in respect to his Ship that he alwayes sayles within four inches of death that may be said of the soul in relation to the body that it is alwayes in four inches of Eternity if the Ship splits then the Saylor sinks if our earthen vessels break the soul is gone plunged for ever into the bottomless Sea and bankless Ocean of Eternity This is the soul therefore that I desire to weep over that shall preposterously launch into the deep before he knows whether he shall sink or swim XIX Meditat. IT was a sad speech of a dying King Nondum caepi vivere jam cogor vivendi finem facere I must now dye before I begin to live It is the sad condition of many a dying man that their work is to do when their hour is come when the enemy is in the gate their weapons are to look for when death is at the door their graces are to look for when the Bridegroom is come their oyl is to buy the pursuer of blood is upon them and the City of refuge not so much as thought of by them In a word the seven years of plenty are wasted and no provision for the years of famine time is spent and nothing laid up for eternity I will therefore now finish every work I have to do that to dye might be the last work I have to finish XX. Meditat. THis impudent age of ours is grown so eminently uncivil that it is now a dayes counted one of the greatest shames to be ashamed of sin but for my part I had rather be accounted the Worlds fool than Gods enemy XXI Meditat. WOrldling thou deridest to see a Ceristian melting at the Word trembling at a sin I tell thee he is of a noble carriage he can triumph in death and in judgement it is not the King of fears that can appall him or Hell it self that can affright him but as a Conquerour over both he can leave the World with a smile O Death where is thy Sting O Hell where is thy victory That is his triumphant valediction and farewell But thou that gloriest so much because thou canst silence Conscience and out-face sin I tell thee thou art of a base
openly prophane and cunningly hypocritical meet both there at last only with this difference the way the one goeth through the Gate and the other stealeth through the Postern Lord Therefore whiles the Hypocrite cloaths himself with formality cloath me with sincerity It may be men will hate me but I care not so God love me my duties may be full of imperfection but yet they shall never want a gracious acceptance my way may be in trouble yet my rest shall be in glory LXV Meditat. AS great serenity of weather is a presage of an Earthquake and Whirlwind so great security of life is a great and sore prediction of the souls earthquake of trembling and astonishment of spirit he that takes up formality and sits down in security he that layes his foundation in the sand and there raises his building the fall of that house will be great and you may observe that Christian that is only brought out of open prophaneness into outward profession that hath taken down the frame of his gross iniquity to set up a superficial form of piety that hath covered his face with a surface of Religion no soul so subject to fall into the sleep of death as such a soul for while he thinks himself well he seeks not to be better so that he slumbers away his time ' untill the cry at midnight ' and then he startles and awakes and sees nothing but the bridge of mercy drawn up and the gates of Heaven shut in See with what confidence these Formalists in the Gospel come unto Christ they come under the relation of Servants and therefore they call upon him as their Master Lord Lord Have not we prophesied in thy Name and in thy Name cast cut Devils c. They made no question of salvation but show their works as if they would command it for their wages But hear Christs answer Then will I profess unto them I never knew you What Lord Never knew us That is strange Have not we heard thy Word received thy Sacraments and relieved thy Members and spake for Thee and prayed to Thee and done many things in thy Name and yet didst thou never know us No sayes Christ I never knew you but with an utter and absolute rejection I never knew you I never did approve you in all your specious wayes and glorious shews wherein you did so pride your selves because all was in formality and nothing in sincerity therefore depart from me They little thought of such a sad expulsion such a direful seperation And thus the out-side Christian because he hath reformed in many things and doth conform to many duties therefore with Agag he concludes the bitterness of death is past so he cloaths himself with smooth imaginations and deceitful apprehensions till he is hewen asunder before the Lord. I will not therefore in the least duty be formal or in the least duty be secure but with the blessed man be always fearing for I had rather tremble here than startle in Hell LXVI Meditat. DOth Sin present it self look upon it as it must be with tears or shall be in torments if thou committest the least sin and dyest impenitent thy soul is lost and thy redemption ceaseth for ever Or if thou committest this sin and dost repent yet what cloudings of the face of God What breakings of the bones with David What bitter pangs What painfull throws What shadows of Death What terrours of Hell may seize upon thee before thou canst make thy peace or settle thine assurance Wilt thou give way to sin because it is delectable or because it is pardonable Who loves poyson because it is sweet Or who drinks poyson because he may have an Antidote seeing it will work to his trouble if it work not out his life I have a precious soul shall I lose it for a lust I have a gracious God shall I venture him for a sin No I will alwayes reject that for which I am sure to lose my peace likely to lose my soul LXVII Meditat. WHat Heir travelling to take possession of a rich inheritance either lets a green Meadow or a pleasant Garden detain him or a black Cloud or a foul way dishearten him O my Soul Thou art travelling to take possession of a glorious inheritance among the Saints wilt thou turn aside to crop every flower Wilt thou stand still to hear every melodious sound Wilt thou leave thy way to drink of every gliding stream of carnal pleasure What is this but to view a Meadow and lose a mannor For a dying Flower to part with an eternal Crown For a flying vanity to lose an immortal felicity To forsake the way of Sion to gather one of the Apples of Sodom Or else O my Soul What if thy way be in tears and thy dayes in sorrow all clouded and a swelling Sea so that not only the lading of the Ship but thy very life is in danger yet here is enough to comfort thee that a good Father and a large portion a sweet rest and an everlasting refreshment will make amends for all Therefore Vain World promise not for I Will make no deviation because my way lyes to purer comforts and surer glory Vexing World threaten not for I will make no retarding because I am travelling to my Fathers to my Country to my Happiness LXVIII Meditat. AS the heart is so is the estate riches are but cyphers it is the mind that makes the sum What am I the nearer for a great estate if I am not contented with it desires of having will quickly eat up all the comforts and delights in possessing Therefore that Alexander that wants content is worse than Digenes that is contented with his wants It argued a rich mind in the Philosopher when walking through a Market and beholding varieties of good commodities yet could say Quà m multis rebus ego non egeo How many things do I not want But a richer mind in the Disciples that with a sweet complacency of spirit could acknowledge that as having nothing yet possessing all things I see all would be well if my heart were well I will therefore forme my heart to my estate so shall I have an estate according to my heart LXIX Meditat. When I remember saith one Job sitting on the Dunghill John hungering in the Wilderness St. Peter hanging on the Gibbet then I think how severely will God punish hereafter those Reprobates whom he loaths if he deals so sharply with his Children whom he loves if he do so much to his intimate friends in the time of Grace what will he do to his professed enemies in the day of Judgment You therefore that deride the miseries of the Saints Oh turn your jeers into fears for Hell sparkles out on Earth On the contrary Lord When I consider Herod in his pomp Haman in his honour Ahasuerus at his feast c. Then I think if God drop so much into a vessel of wrath what will he pour into a Vessel