when thy poor Soul is sick of Sin hath wounds of the Spirit is stript of its Innocence and starved for Grace no Regard is given thereunto not considering that though thou usest humane Helps yet it is God that gives the Blessing and is the Phisitian both of Soul and Body That Soul which acts the Part of a faithful Servant to the Lord shall have a double Reward the Crown of a Saint and of a Sufferer The Soul is Spiritual but Sin makes it Carnal the Soul is Immortal sin is the Death of the Soul and being contaminated therewith it makes us die unto Grace and to live in Grief the Soul is noble but sin makes it ignobleâ— the Soul is Lord but sin inslaves it the Soul is Soveraign sin brings it into subjection the Soul is God-like sin makes it beastial the Soul is the Spouse of God sin makes it the Strumpet of the Devil the Soul is the Jewel of God sin casts it into the Devils Fire the Soul is a Free-born Citizen of Heaven sin keeps it in perpetual Imprisonment the Soul is Gods Purchase sin cheats God of his due and the Soul of Eternal Bliss Wouldst thou be truely perfect Love God with all thy Heart and thy Neighbour as thy self Let thine Eye be always upon God and thy self and thou shalt never see him without Goodness nor thy self without Miseryâ— none shall see God so much as he is visible neither shall any love God so much as he is amiable He that doth not covet to love God more and more can never love him enough to whom God is all in all the World and all the Delights of it ought to be nothing at all Let us be what God will so we be but his and let us not be what we will our selves against the Will of God In the Service of God there is nothing little enough to be rejected And to meditate much upon God is good but the Souls great Advancement is Vertue and it consists in much loving of him he to whom alone is pleasing is displeased at nothing but that which displeaseth God in Divine Matters a generous Soul finds greatest Contentment in believing things most difficult all our Actions take their value from their Conformity to the Will of God Love and Suffering are the greatest Duties we owe to God they being the two Causes for which he dyed for us he that neglects his own Will complies best with Gods Will. So love thy Neighbour here upon Earth as thou mayst enjoy his Love in Heaven thou canst not love thy Neighbour too much but thou mayst make too much shew of thy Love to him one great Argument of our Love to our Neighbour is to bear with his Imperfections we should never endure to hear any more evil spoken of him than of our selves we should never undervalue any Person the Workman loveth not that his Work should be despised in his Presence especially wherefore beware for God is present every where and every Man and Woman in the World are his Work It is a Spiritual Injustice to desire co know the Secrets of others and to conceal our own We ought not to love our Neighbour only because he is good or because we hope he will be so but because God hath commanded us so to do In holy Duties we should speak little think much and do more it is a great evil not to do good the Just man never dies unprepared for he is prepared for Death who perseveres in Justice to the End Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a brooken Tooth or a Foot out of Joynt as he that taketh away a Garment in cold weather and as Vinegar is upon Nitre so is he that singeth Songs to one that hath a heavy Heart it is no shame to be poor though some count it acrime Nature brought us so into the World and so we must return dost thou want things that are necessary grumble not perchance it was necessary thou shouldst want them however if thou seekest them let it be by a lawful Remedy or Meanes If God do not bless thy Endeavours yet do thou bless him that knoweth what is best for thee Thou art God's Patient prescribe not to thy Physiâ—ian art thou caluminated examine thy own Conscience if thou findest it spotted thou hast a just Correction if not guilty thou hast a very fair Instruction use both and so shalt thou distill Honey out of Gall and make to thy self a secret Friend of an open Enemy if thy Enemy be hungry give him Bread if thirsty give him Drink thou thereby shalt heap Coals of Fire upon his Head and a Reward into thy own bosom Charity makes God our Debtor for the Poor are his Receivers Hast thou an Estate wouldst increase it devide thy Riches to the Poor these Seeds that are scattered do bring forth their Increase but such as are hoarded up they dye Correction without Instruction makes the Master a Tyrant and the Servant a Novice That man is a compleat Conquerour that can subdue his own Passions faithful are the wounds of a Friend but the Kisses of an Enemy are deceitful Arm thy self against a profest Adversary but he that dissembleth Frindship strikes beyond a Caution and wounds above a Cure from the one thou mayst deliver thy self but from the other Good Lord deliver thee A man that flatttreth his Neighbour spreadeth a Net for his feet the Touchstone tryeth Gold and Gold tryeth Men virtue must be the guide of all Qualities otherwise the Professors thereof are undone As the Servants of God are known by their two Vertues Humiliation and Charity so the Servants of the Devil are known by their opposite Vices Pride and Cruelty The best way to keep good Acts in memory is to refresh them with new ones to boast is but vain since the greatest Conquerour is but the measure of his own shadow and shall find it no longer than it was before his Victory believe not Soothsayers for Prophecies are never understood till they are accomplished The World is a wide Prison and every Day is an Execution day our Stomacks are very common Sepulchres of Birds Beasts Fish they all die to feed us Lord with how many Deaths are our Lives patcht up and how full of Death is the whole Life of Man beware of too much Drink where Drunkenness is and doth reign Reason is banished into Exile Vertue is made a Stranger and God himself is become an Enemy Blaspemies are accounted Wit and Oaths are Rhetorick and Secrets are made open Proclamations Whosoever will arrive at a new Life must pass by the old Death of the old he that is truly humbled never thinks himself wronged the good Man is well contented with a moderate Estate not so much taking notice of those that have more as those that have less in this World than himself He that most mortifies his natural Inclinations receiveth most Spiritual Inspirations to shun the accidental Troubles
Prison Thoughts WRITTEN BY Thō Browning CITIYEN AND COOK OF LONDON Who hath been a PRISONER in Ludgate ever since the Twelveth day of August 1680. Dum Spiro Spero in Deum Adjutorem meum London Printed and are to be Sold by the Author in Ludgate who is still a Prisoner there Anno 1682. To the Worshipful Geo. Dashwood Esq Dame Margeret his Wife the Lady Elizabeth Hare their Daughter John Pery Esq Mrs. Katherine Browning my Wife where ever she is and to all that are related to their Families Grace and Peace NOtwithstanding my many great Troubles I have had some retired Thoughts in my Adolescens which are here brought to publick View and do desire you to Patronize the same If you and others shall find such benefit by reading them as I have done by writing the same my ends are answered Time was when I had no Thoughts of putting my self in Print but Necessitas non habet Legem These are my first Fruits as an Offering to the World which pray accept I do intend another suddenly which perhaps may be more acceptable and sell better than this My weak Endeavours shall not be any whit wanting therein Who am Your Most Humble and Obedient Servant in the Lord Thomas Browning Nosse Teipsum Vivat Rex Curret Lex Floret Grex. Finis Coronat Opus A Coppy of a Letter sent to my Wife My Admiration IN my Fifty Eighth Letter I sent you some Verses and this is my Fifty Ninth where you may find an Epistle which pray peruse It is in vain to expect any Approbation from you having never yet received one Line in Writing from your Hand And perceiving that you are resolved neither to see nor send to me I do think that this may be the last time that I may trouble you in Writing only remember that you have abused neglected slighted and robbed a most Indulgent and loving Husband for which I pray God to give you a hearty Repentance before it be too late and there be no meanes left to help your self as likewise all those who have unlawfully and very malitiously advised against me without any Cause And if you or they have any Pretences I do hereby dare either to make them known to me or the World assuring that mine shall shortly be made known in Print with as much Severity as Truth will bear who am still you Loving though most Abused Husband Thomas Browning Prison Thoughts c OH despised despised despised rejected rejected rejected and Destroyed by you my own Dear Wife whose Name is Katherine Browning I pitty I pitty I pitty and shall not cease Praying for you Day and Night that you may be converted when you hear of Brownings Death occasioned by your meanes you may shed a tear for him if there be any Grace in you none ought to despise their own Flesh Whom God hath Joyned together let none put ader And if you had not gone from me you might have been Mistriss of our Company they have chosen an old Master this year in my stead Take heed of these dreadful Sentences You that are filthy be filthy still There remains no more Sacrifice for Sin but a fearful looking for of Judgment Fiery Indignation and fierce Anger of the Lord with a Go ye Cursed into Everlasting Fire prepared for Divels and Damn'd Spirits From which Place Good Lord deliver us My Epistle begins Few and evil have been the days of my Pilgrimage I have had for Inheritance the Months of Vanity and painful Nights have been appointed unto me and do know that hereafter is laid up for me a Crown of Righteousiness and not for me only but for all them who love the appearance of the Lord Jesus Therefore all the days of my Life will I wait as a Hireling till my Change shall come For I desire to be Dissolved and to be with Christ and do long to remove out of the Body to dwell with the Lord For I do know that if this Earthly House of my Tabernacle were destroyed I have a Bulilding given of God that is a House not made with Hands but Eternal in the Heavens Therefore I sigh desiring to be cloathed with my House which is from Heaven and I do heartily look for and do hope that in noth ng I shall be ashamed but that with all confidence Christ shall be magnified in my Body whether it be by Life or Death for whither I live it is to the Lord or whether I die it is to the Lord therefore whether I live or die I am the Lords To Him therefore be Praise and Glory for evermore I have fought a good Fight I have kept the Faith and do know in whom I have Believed and am perswaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed to his Charge Against that Day the Lord will quicken my mortal Body and make it like to his own Glorious Body Yea though after my Skin Worms destroy this Body yet I shall see God in my Flesh whom I my self shall see and mine Eyes shall behold and none other for me though my Reins be consumed within me therefore I willingly lay down my Life and commit my Soul unto God as unto my faithful Creator How excellent is thy Mercy O God therefore do I trust under the Shadow of thy Wings O blessed is the man whom thou dost choose and causest to come unto thee he shall dwell in thy Courts and shall be satisfied with the Pleasures of thine House even of thy Holy Temple thou shalt give him drink out of the Rivers of thy Pleasures for with thee is the Well of Life and in thy Light shall we see Light send me therefore thy Light and thy Truth and let thy good Spirit lead me unto the Land of Righteousness Carry me O Lord by thy Mercy and bring me in thy Strength to thy Holy Habitation Plant me in the Mountain of thine Inheritance even in the Place which thou hast prepared and the Sanctuary which thou hast Established that I may see the Goodness of the Lord in the Land of the Living Let me behold thy Face in Righteousness and let me be satisfied with thine Image for in thy Presence is the Fulness of Joy and at thy right Hand are Pleasures for evermore Into thy Hands O Lord I commend my Spirit for thou hast Redeemed it O Lord God of Truth Lord Jesus receive my Spirit The end of the upright man is Peace As many as walk according to this Rule Peace shall be upon them and upon the Israel of God Now unto Him that is able to keep us that we fall not and to present us faultless before the Presence of his Glory with Joy to God only-wise be Glory Majesty Dominion and Power both now and ever ever ever Amen Ludgate The 12th of April 1682. For my most Esteemed Mistriss Katherine Browning These This was sent to her Aunt Madam Margaret Dashwood by the hand of Mr. Joseph Steed her Nephew to
Vertue in thy Blood That Life is in thy Death But â—â—â—ll I fear my Sins deserve that thou shouldst never apply thy Vertue nor thy Merits to me for alas I find that the Old man is lively and strong in me and that the motions of Sin have power in me to bring forth Fruits unto Death The Lord Be not I pray thee injurious to thy self in the work of my Grace in thee Complain not of thy Corruptions But that thou mayst give unto me my own praise Canst thou deny but thou hast felt my Power working in thy Soul Have I noâ— sprinkled thy Conscience many times with the purifying and pacifying Blood of Christ from which hath flowed to thee such a witnessing of good things such a sence of Mercies as for the time hath filled thy heart with Joys thy mouth with Songs of Praise Have I not stirred thee up sometimes with great fervency to call upon the Name of the Lord Have I not made thee to give Christs Name a publick Testimony with thine own disadvantage And how often hath thy heart been effectually moved at the hearing of my Word in such sort that it wrought in thee a holy Remorse and an inward Contrition for Sin which hath broken out into tears Have I not made thee to wrestle against thine inordinate Lusts Have I not given thee Strength many a time to stand against Satans Temptations Whereas if I had left thee to thy self how often hadst thou been made a Prey to thine Enemy Remembrest thou not that the Tempter hath often assaulted thee But I have withdrawn the occasion of Sin and when the occasion hath served did I not restrain and hold back the Tempter Yea when both the occasion and Tempter were present have I not filled thy heart with the Fear and Love of my Name and so kept thee from sinning against me And whereas many times of thy weakness thou hast offended Did not I with a melting heart and mourning eye raise thee again and renew my former familiarity with thee So that thou canst never say from the first hour that I begun to renew thee that I have suffered thee to lye in thy Sin as I have done others that are Sâ—rangers to my Grace and many notable Effects of my working in thee thou canst not deny Are not these the undoubted Tokens of my Grace in thee Will Nature do such things Mayst thou not feel by these that I have begun to apply to thee Christs Merits for the Remission of thy Sins and Christs Vertue for quickening thee to a new Life Therefore think of thy self as barely as thou wilt but let the Work of my Grace be esteemed by thee according to the excellency of it Be humble and cast down when thou lookest on thine own corruption I find no fault with thee but I rejoyce and am glad of the new Workmanship which I have begun in thee Indeed if there were nothing in thee but that which thou hast by nature thy state were very miserable but seeing thou findest a new Workmanship in thee be comforted Art thou in Darkness that there is no Light in thee Or doth Sin possess thee that besides it also there is not a Will in thee to do Good and a Love to Righteousness If thou saist that thou hast no Sin in thee thou art a Lyer And if thou saist thou hast no other thing in thee but Sin thou art also a Lyer And thinkest thou that seeing I have begun to translate thee into my Light and to make thee a new Creature thinkest thou that I will leave thee till I have done till I have done my Work in thee Therefore my Beloved give not such ear to Satan and thy own Corruptions as to take this Testimony against me or make thee think that my Pledges which I have given thee are not worthy of Credit that by them thou shouldst be assured of my Mercy The Soul I cannot deny O Lord but that many times I have felt the sweetness of thy heavenly Consolations which have greatly rejoyced my Soul But alas my grief is so much the more that by my own Defaults I should now be deprived of them for I have grieved thy Holy Spirit yea I have done what I could to quench him and therefore it is that the Comforter who was wont to refresh my Soul is away nor can I feel his Presence with me as before The Lord Because I am not changed therefore it is that ye O Sons of Jacob are not consumed many are the Changes indeed whereunto you are subject but I remain the same and there is no shadow of alteration with me Be not therefore afraid O my Beloved neither esteem thy self to be rejected of me albeit that sometimes I hide my face from thee All my ways are Mercy and Truth to mine It is for thee that sometimes I go from thee and it is for thee that again I do return unto thee for if I come it is for thy Consolation that continual heaviness should not oppress thee by thy manifold Temptations How often hast thou found this when thou wert sick of Love I have strengthened thee with Flagons of my own and comforted thee wiâ—â— my Apples my Fruit hath been sweet in thy mouth and I â—aâ— put my Left-hand under thy Head and with my Right-hand I have imbraced thee But least the greatness of my Consolations should exalt thee to disdain thy Brother and offend me by imputing that to thy own disposition which thou hast of my Dispensation I have again withdrawn these glorious feelings from thee give me the Praise that I know best what is expedient for thee Had my Servant St. Paul need to be humbled with the Buffets of Satan least he should be exalted above measure by the greatness of his Revelations And hast not thou need that by thy inward Exercises I should hold thee humble If my Comforts were always present with thee thou wouldst think thy Heaven thy permanent City were here on Earth and so cease to enquire for a better to come thou wouldst take the place of thy Banishment for thy Home and thy Earnest for thy Principal Sum which I have promised thee Consider this wisely with thy self and albeit I laugh not alike on thee at all times and fill thee not always with Joys yet I always love thee for whom I love it is to the end If I close the Door of my Chamber upon thee it is not to hold thee out but to leave thee to knock If I cover my self with my Veiles that thou canst not see a glance of my Countenance it is only to stir thee up to seek me and if sometimes I seem to go from thee it is to provoke thee to follow me that thou mayst make hast from Earth to Heaven where thou shalt injoy me without Intermission Was Joseph so wise as to conceal his tender Affections from his Brethren till he had brought them to an humble acknowledgment of their
of this Life is to meditate often upon Eternity It 's the great misfortune of man to desire those things which he should only use To have a desire not to be poor to receive the Inconveniences of it is too great Ambition for it is to desire the Honour of Poverty the Commodity of Wealth There is no way happily to end a true Spiritual Life better than dayly to begin it He that would have a Part with Jesus glorified must first take part with Christ crucified we should live in this present Evil World as if our Souls were in Heaven and our Bodies in the Grave In the death of our Passions consists the Life of our Souls It is not Humility to acknowledge our selves miserable that is only to be a Beast but it is Humility to desire that others should esteem us so There is no reason to be given for the Fault we commit in Sin for the Fault would not be Sin if it were not against Reason Vertues have not their full Growth but when they have Desires to bring forth Advantage which like Spiritual Seeds serve to bring forth and produce new degrees of Virtues We should never speak of God or the Things which concern his Service carelesly or by way of Common Discourse or Entertainment but always with a great respect and humble mind We should fear the Judgments of God without Discouragement and encourage our selves without Presumption The ready way for the Soul to have Peace with its self is to obtain his Peace with God we may perform many Holy Actions and yet not please God if we neglect to do what he requires of us no more than a Painter in representing an Eagle pleaseth him that desired a Bee Let us never look on our Crosses but through the Cross of Jesus Christ thereby we shall find them pleasant and have fresh Desires to be afflicted Desire to obtain the Love of God makes us to meditate but that Love once obtained makes us contemplate The Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom and the Price of Wisdom is above Rubies Oh let my Prayers be set before thee as Incense and the lifting up of my Hands be as the Evening Sacrifice O Lord my Strength and most mighty Redeemer Oh my Soul What fearful tremblings are these that have seized upon thee now So that the Thoughts of God that have been and ought to be thy greatest Comforts are now become thy Amazement Whence is this miserable Altaration that thou must behold nothing but Judgment in the Father of Mercies and Anger in the Fountain of Love What hath provoked him that delights to spare to be resolved to punish Surely my Sins are very many for it is not a few that will insense him and they have more than ordinary Aggravations for he is not so highly displeased at small Offences and certainly I have often committed them and long continued in them for he begins not to frown upon the first Misdemeanour Alas Alas the Cause is too apparent my Sins are both very many and exceeding great frequently repeated with heynous Circumstances and of long continuance I have despised Mercy now am like to feel Judgment most miserable Wreth that I am I have tired out the Patience of a long-suffering Father and have run away from the Embraces of a Loving Saviour and have rejected the Offers of a most indulgent Holy Spirit so that now I fear I have stopt up the Fountain of his Mercy and unsealed the Treasure of his Vengeance and I ought to wonder how God could spare me so long then why he should strike me now since many have been cut off for fewer and lesser sins I see that I have deserved most justly to suffer the worst of Evils And therefore shall esteem it an incomparable Favour to be only corrected with Temporal Afflictions if I might be so excused but it is a fearful thing to fall into the Hands of the Living God Therefore O Lord my Flesh trembleth for very Fear of thee and I am afraid of thy most heavy Judgments yet I know no way to escape them To deny my Sins were great Impudence and to Excuse them will be Apparent Hypocrisy and to be concealed is impossible to be found intollerable I am miserably confounded but was never any in this sad Case before that I might receive some Advice and Comfort from them Yes surely the Church hath presented me with a King and a Prophet both dear to God whose Fears were greater though their Sins were less and their danger not so great as mine Yet these in the midst of their Fear considered their Sins as the only Cause of their Evils and accordingly they freely confessed them bitterly lamented and exceedingly humbled themselves for them not striving so much to avoid them in the Punishment as to obtain the Pardon of their Offences knowing that the guilt once removed thou wouldst totally spare them or gently chastise them for their good where they rendred themselves up into thy Hands rather aggravating than extenuating their Sins and yet humbly begging that they might be corrected in Mercy and they found the Benefit of it Go to then O my Soul and do thou likewise thou hast occasioned Gods Wrath by the Breach of his most holy Laws O do not increase it by mistrusting the blessed Gospel thou hast forsaken him by Sin do not run from him by Despair for the faster that thou runnest from his Mercy the sooner thou shalt be sure to meet with his Justice delay no longer but go in before he sends for thee accuse thy self before thou art Indicted and confess thy Sins freely before the Witnesses be called out against thee pass sentence on thy self before the Judge come to condemn thee I cannot expect wholly to escape but it will be a great Favour if I meet only with a Sickness instead of Death Losses in my Estate instead of loosing my God and my Soul both for ever I will not therefore desire my Heavenly Father altogether to lay aside his Rod but only to use it genâ—ly that I may by this smart be warn'd against those future sins that would bring me to utter Ruine O Lord rather chastise me than dis-inherit me and those Stripes shall be welcome which come in an exchange for Eternal Torments For thou who dost change thy Sword into a Rod I hope will be so compassionate in thy Afflictions that I shall only feel what my destempered Soul needs to recover it and my Flesh and Spirit cannot bear not what my Sins deserve and thy Justice might exact wherefore I will no longer hide my sins but by an humble hearty Confession will declare that I hate them more than I fear to fall into thy most merciful Hands and I hope hereafter that I shall so fear to offend that I shall be freed from those sad Expectations of thy heavy Wrath which Wisdom God grant me for my Saviour Jesus Christ's Sake He that hath
be conveyed as is Directed SHall there be nothing left me but a Grave Shall I at last no other Dwelling have Oh let not Flesh and Blood take note of this For if She do 't will poison all her Bliss Could She but meditate on such a thing She would have little cause to laugh or sing It is a Death to her to think of Death How she shall rot and loose her loved Breath Yet the great Jew that wisely could discrie What things were not and what were vanity What pleased the Soul and what the Flesh did pain Did never think the thought of this was vain Then let my Soul though Flesh and Blood repine Ponder on that shall make them both Divine But why O foolish Flesh shak'st thou at this Shrink'st thou from that which thy best Physick is Thou art Earth born from it thou didst descend And here grown Sick thou canst not easily mend Till t'ward thy Native Countrey thou repair And draw thy Meditations that cold Air. Change but this Air and think upon thy End Thy Sin will lessen and thy Soul will mend For as at Sea when Clouds put out the Stars When Winds from Heaven and Waves from Earth make Wars And mad brain'd Sailers all the Decks o're whelm The Pilate sadly sitting at the Helm Better directs the Ship where it should go Than all their wild Endeavours can even so When through the Worlds dark Storms we send One quiet Pilot sitting at the End One thought of Death our Course more right doth guide Than all the vain Works of our Life beside These thoughts will make those which our Souls blood quaff Like Horseleeches strow'd ore with Dust fall off If then to think of Death be so Oh why Should any think it is not good to die That of all things that Mortals fear and shun Doth hurt or grieve us least when it is done This it the Port this is Sins perfect Cure Till our Grave cover us we ne're are sure This only last remains thither let 's hast Since Flesh and Blood still longs to know what 's last It ever hath belong'd to Mortal Wights That several Heads take several Delights Some unto good and some to bad have will But leaving that which I delight in ill I joy in three which few can discommend And most desire next to a constant Friend And these are they that draw me most along A well writ Book a Picture and a Song But as for Wealth in which most take delight I get it not nor of it do I write But of those things endeavour brought me to I somewhat know and somewhat I can do And these I love and they do love to be With such as love and seek their company But will they stay with me Oh no alas They were belov'd long time before I was And when their Lovers died they 'd shroud and spread Nor will they go with me when I am dead Some Learned Friend perhaps may on my Herse Scatter some Lines and strew the Cloth with Verse Painting perchance may gild some Flag or Banner And stick it on my Coffin for mine Honour Musick may sing my Dirge and tell all Ears I lov'd that Art which now their Sences hears And when 't is done and I no more can have Nothing will tarry with me but the Grave And 't is most just for here I did receive them I found them when I came and here I leave them But will the things I want and others have Accompany their Owners to the Grave Will Beauty go and strength in Death appear Will Honour or proud Riches tarry there They all say nay for let grim Death draw near Beauty looks pale and Strength doth faint for fear Ther 's little Lust or Pride in naked Bones And Honour sits on Cushions not cold Stones Nay ask our Friends that when we are in Health Would die for love of us or for our Wealth Mark what they set their Hands to view it well Your Friend till Death but once being dead fare well Nought then will tarry but the Grave for note How of a man new dead men talk by Rote This was his Wife saith one this was his Land This was his Friend that was his Building and This was his Wealth that his chiefest Bliss And thus they talk a while of what was his But walk the Church-yard and thou shalt have Report till Dooms-day say this is his Grave If Kings and Queens then can no more procure Nought but my Grave will tarry with me sure Why therefore should I strive to get such Things Since what the World contains no Surety brings Like men that clasp at Spirits catch the Air So while we look after the things seem fair And gripe at all the World to serve our Lust It through our Fingers slips and leaves but dust Yet still the nearer Death we grow in Years This scraping Humour in us more appears And drowns not till we sink so must it be For dying men will grasp at all they see While they can see when Sence fails farewell all The World 's too heavy then they let it fall Though we are born clutch-fisted when we die We spread our Palms and let them slip by And then when nothing else will with us stay We must our selves remain with Earth and Clay Since all I want here God gives and I have What can I more expect now but my Grave Here must we be and where else shall we rest Is not a mans own House to sleep in best If this be all our House they are to blame That brag of the great Houses whence they came And evermore their Speech they interlace I and my Fathers House Alas Alas What is my Fathers House and what am I My Fathers House is Earth where I must lye And I a Worm no man that fit no room Till like a Worm I crawl into my Tomb This is my Dwelling this my truest home A House of Clay best fits a House of Lome Nay 't is my House for I perceive I have In all my Life ne're dwelt out of a Grave The Womb was first my Grave whence since I rose My Body Grave-like doth my Soul inclose Dying each Night lyes buryed in my Bed My Body like a Corps with Sheets o'respread O're which my spreading Teastures large extent Born up with Antiques makes my Monument And o're my head perchance such things may stand When I am quite run out in Dust and Sand My close low builded Chamber to my Eye Like to a Chappel shews wherein I lye While at my Window pritty Birds do ring My Knell and with their Notes my Obits sing Thus when the days vain toil my Soul hath wear'd I in my Body Bed and House lie buryed Then have I little cause to fear my Tomb When this wherein I live is my Grave become Nay we do not only our selves intomb But make for others Graves in our own Womb Creatures of Sea and Land we in them
bury And at their Funerals are blith and merry Who groan to serve us thus and die unwilling How can we then live long who live by killing Methinks we should neither eat nor drink But strait to dig our Graves we should bethink For since by their dead Bodies we are fed I wonder all this while we are not dead It is an old said Law yet still in request When Belly is full then Bones would be at rest Well have we fed the Flesh and from Sins Cup Have drunk Iniquity like water up The Creatures we have eaten flead and shorn The Fruits from Earth to feed us we have torn Are we not satisfied Oh sure 't is best That after all we get our Bones to rest And no where can the Flesh true slumber have But in our truest home our homely Grave There we sleep sound there let the Tempests roar The Worlds proud Waves shall dash on us no more W 're all deluded vainly searching ways To make us happy by the length of days For cunningly to make's protract this breath The Gods conceal the happiness of Death We are at home and safe whatever comes Let them fight on we shall not hear their Drums Let those be doted on now love or hate It shall not grieve us though they prove ingrate Yea let them praise or rule we lie aloof Out of their reach our sleep is Cannon proof And we but sleep for as we close our eyes Each night we go to Bed in hopes to rise So do we die for when the Trump doth blow We shall as easily awake we know And as we after sleep our Bodies find More fresh in strength and chearfully inclin'd So after Death our Flesh here dead and dried Shall rise Immortal new and purified If this be true why make we no more hast 'T is time to sleep day fails Night draws on fast Let 's get us home for as the Evening Sun Looking us in the face when day is done Makes us cast longer Shadows so when Death Looks in our face through Age and claims our Breath We cast his shadow long off from our sight Yet may we know right well 't is almost night And when we see night come in frowning Skies What man will not go home if he be wise Here let him come this House is of such fashion The Tenant ne're shall pay for Reparation There shall the Due not wet him Cold not harm him There shall no Summer weather over warm him From thence he 'l find when thither he is gone A private Walk to Heaven for ' mself alone Why do we not then go Are Flesh and Blood The hinderers that clog us from our Good Oh! rie thy self at home and cast off those What wise man ever went to bed in 's Cloaths Shall we that know how after this Life ends An Everlasting one for us attends Grieve to lay down these rags for Earth to keep That we a while may take a nap of Sleep Then were we worse than children for but say That they to morrow shall have Holy-day They 'l streight to bed and put off all Apparel Then cease my Flesh with Heavens Decree to quarrel And with these words reduce thy Thoughts that come He that dies first shall only first go home But when thy Flesh hither to thee prepares Say as when thou goest to bed thy Prayers Since he most oft forgets himself in Death That thinks not of his God that gives him breath Invoke his Mercy e're thy rest thou take For as thou fall'st asleep so shalt thou wake This House of which before we have been telling Is but a sleeping Chamber not a Dwelling For when thou wak'st this House no more shall hold thee But that whereof the blessed Apostle told thee Saying If this our earthly House shall once decay We have a House not made by hands with Clay But in the Heavens Eternal blest is he Whom thou O Lord admittest there to be He 〈…〉 thy Courts shall dwell thy Temples store Shall in thy House fill him for evermore But stay my Soul thou canst not yet come thither Thy Wings are clog'd and thou more strength must gather Mean time till from the Earth thou get'st free scope Even in thy Grave thy Flesh shall rest in Hope Meditations on Sleep THe Night is come like to the Day Depart not thou great God away Let not my sins black as the Night Ecclipse the lustre of thy Light Keep still in my Horizon for to me The Sun makes not the Day but thee Thou whose Nature cannot sleep On my Temples Centinel keep Guard me against those watchful Foes Whose Eyes are open while mine close Let no Dreams my Head infest But such as Jacobs Temples blest Whil'st I do rest my Soul advance And make my rest an holy Trance That I may my rest being wrought Be wak't into some holy thought And with an active vigour run My Course as doth the nimble Sun Sleep is a Death Oh make me try By sleeping what it is to dye And as gently lay my head On my Grave as now my Bed How ere I rest great God let me Awake again at last with thee And thus assur'd behold I lye Securely whether to wake or dye These are my drowzy Days in vain I do now wake to sleep again Oh come that hour when I shall never Sleep no more but wake for ever Thus shall I take leave of the Sun Desiring sleep till th' Resurrection Against Drowziness Permit not sluggish sleep To close your waking Eye Till you with Judgment deep Your dayly Actions try He that his sins as Darlings keeps When he to quiet goes More desperate is than he that sleeps Among his mortal Foes At Night lye down prepar'd to have Thy sleep thy Death thy Bed thy Grave On Patience Patience is the Poor mans Walk Patience is the Dumb mans Talk Patience is the Lame mans Thighs Patience is the Blind mans Eyes Patience is the Poor mans ditty Patience is the Exil'd mans City Patience the sick mans Bed of Down Patience is the Wise man Crown Patience is the live mans Story Patience is the dead mans Glory When your Troubles do controul In Patience possess your Soul FFormerly when I have seriously thought and remembred my Vow in Baptism it hath made me couragious to fight against the World the Flesh and the Devil which hath made me often take up Resolutions that I would scorn to be a Coward but as Fools make a mock at Sin so have I deceived my self by too eager pursuing Worldly Vanities thinking to have found undermoon Comforts till I found my self beset with Snares and that there were bitter things written against me which pierced me with sorrows and I was almost in despair had I not been sustained with these Comforts following which hath since much refreshed me and vanquished the Tempter so that now I do rejoyce in God my Saviour and the Lord hath thus spoken Oh my Beloved why fearest
of thy Servant to sucoour me in my distress and to comfort me with thy Mercies Lord evermore feed me with this Manna and refresh me with the Springs of the Water of Life shew at all times some of thy Mercy to me that my Enemy Satan who laboureth to disquiet me may be ashamed because thou art with me always to succour me If ye will mark and consider you shall find that the Children of God in all their Temptations are not so much Doers with their Will as Sufferers against their Will this Cogitation coming in my Mind suddenly Comfort did spring in the midst of my Trouble God giving me Grace to understand that these Motions wherewith I am troubled were not so many Actions done by me for in truth I do neither like nor allow of them but as Spiritual Oppressions of my Enemy who still warreth against me sometimes with Armies of Fears sometimes with Armies of Doubtings and with Armies of unclean and wandring Motions and sometimes with Bands and Troops of Worldly Cares making Invasion upon my Soul and labouring to quench the sparks of Spiritual Life which the Lord had begun in me therefore answer for me O Lord for I suffer Violence my Enemy would oppress me but Lord my hope is ever in thee succour me with thy strength and I shall live and Lord impute not to me any of those sinful Motions which mine Enemy raiseth against me and in me to destry my Soul Consider this wisely O my Soul and remember it God that hath entred thee into this Warfare and is a Spectator and Helper will never reckon up to thee Satans Deeds for thine and learn thou wisely how to distinguish them and faint not for them but comfort thy self as long as thou art able to stand to thy Pretestation that thou dost suffer Violence in them and canst say with the Apostle This is not I but Sin that dwelleth in me O Lord deliver me from the rage of this Tyranny many a time have I looked to have been swallowed up of him but thou hast sustained me Blessed be my God for ever and the Lord be my strength to the end O Lord how can it be possible that my Soul can live here in this absense from thee or walk in the midst of these continual Snares or stand against these raging Temptations except it please thee now and then to sheâ— thy Face unto me Joseph 's State in Prison was not so heavy as mine his Temptations in Potiphar's House were not so continual as mine are And Daniel 's Fear in the midst of the Lions was no greater than mine who every day tasted of a thousand Deaths Jeremiah in a dark Dungeon was not vexed with such Horrors as dayly gather themselves together about and against me the only comfort of my Soul is in the multitude of thy Mercies thou wert with Joseph and therefore the Prison was the more pleasant to him than Potiphar 's Palace Thou wert with Daniel and therefore the raging Lions were peaceable to him O Lord be with me and increase thy strength in my Soul and it shall live though the time be not yet come that I shall appear in thy Presence and see thee yet Lord let me have in this Land of my Pilgrimage those glances of thy sweet and loving Countenance that may sustain me for thou Lord art able to let me see as much joy in thy sweet Face in one hour as may sustain me for ever and without this sight how can my Faith but fail my Hope but hover and my Life but languish Therefore O Lord hide not thy Face from my Soul for ever but as thou dost acquaint my Soul with Troubles so let me see at all times that as my Sufferings do abound in me so my Consolations may abound through Jesus Christ I know thou always beholdest me in Mercy but Lord let me see that thou look'st upon me that I may feel thy Mercies sweet unto my Soul and let me find every day by good Experience that Jesus Christ is formed in me and inable me to live a holy Life here so that I may live with thee a happy Life hereafter in thy Heavenly Kingdom for ever IF thou art Learned be also pious for Learning sanctified is an Ornament to Grace but Learning corrupted is an Advocate for the Devil Call in mind and oftentimes examine thy self arcounting thy self by thy Thoughts Words and Deeds especially after much Business Discourses Pastimes c. Silence is commendable in things that appertain not to thee to the end thou mayst the better call to mind the Sufferings of a Crucifi'd Saviour If God hath blessed thee with an Estate relieve thy Brother and so live as having little yet possessing all things for remember that Meat Drink and Cloaths are the Riches of a Christian and since Christ gave Himself for thee well mayst thou give some Fruits of thy Labour to those that are his let Death be oft-times the Subject of thy Meditations yield thy self wholly to God if thou art poor and hast nothing to requite him with but thy Prayers and thy self yet if thou givest thy self to his disposal thou then givest all thou hast the Apostles left their Ships and their Nets the poor Widdow gave only her two Mites to the Poor-mans-Box and she was preferred before a wealthy Craesus He easily disposeth all things of this World that doth but remember that he must dye In open Assemblies use not always Spiritual Things least thou shalt be thought singular except thou mayst edifie others and by thy Example stir them up to the like on all Occasions prefer the Glory of God and his Service above all things be a Comfort to the afflicted reconcile Differences visit the Sick and Imprisoned and forget not to relieve the Poor and Needy above all things have fervent Love for Love shall cover a multitude of sins fast one day in a Month or oftner if the strength of thy Body will bear it and remember to distribute thine Alms for fasting and Alms are the Wings of Prayer if Perturbations or Discontents arise in thy Mind apply thy self to Prayer go not to thy Rest in Wrath least thou givest the Common Enemy to Mankind an opportunity to surprize thee beware of inordinate Cares least you dishonour or deny God for such Cares are needless bruitish bootless and heathenish What need we care when our Heavenly Father knoweth that we have need of these things and saith Be careful for nothing but let us cast our Cares upon him for he careth for us consider the Fowls of the Air and Ravens that he feeds they toil not Which of you by taking care can add one Cubit to his Stature or Penny to his Estate for after these things the Gentiles seek repent dayly let not the Devil have the Flower of thy Age and God the Bran. The Spirit of Prayer is far more precious than Treasures of Gold and Silver Despise not the Ministers of Christ for
pleasing Thoughts of my own Innocence so that I have been so secure as if I had been really guiltless I have been glad to spare my self and have flattered my self with the pleasing Thoughts of my own Ignorance I have been glad to spare my self of a further Enquiry most foolishly accounting this a Peace which was no other but want of a sense of my own danger I find my chief design hath been to seem to be good and to perswade my self that I was so that I might be the more at quiet in the ways of Evil and might not be accused of my own Conscience and allaramed by the most dreadful Threatnings which I supposed did not belong to me But alas how miserable would the end of that self-deceit have been For thou O my God didst see and wouldst have condemned me for all my Blasphemous Thoughts and Repinings against thee my malitious and envious Thoughts against thee and my Neighbour thou heardst all those vain and filth words that I uttered with my Mouth those deceitful unjust and cruel uncharitable Works which I committed with my Hands thou sawest yea all that Formality and Hypocrisy Ambition and Pride Lust and Covetuousness that lay in the secret Corners of my Heart was apparent in thy sight and what did it avail me not to see them thy Vengeance would have once as certainly and more terribly because it was not expected It is strange I should not see this vast heap before but surely I have shut my eyes wilfully lest I should discern that which I was loath to believe and unwilling to amend but now I see my Inquities by thy Mercy and believe I have offended thee as much by my Hypocrisy in the concealing them as by my Disobedience in committing them therefore I will ingeniously confess because the graciousness of thy Nature the truth of thy Promises and the Satisfaction of the Lord Jesus are sufficient to procure a Pardon for me who dare so trust in thy Mercy so far as to become my own Accuser Yea my God since thou hasâ— so graciously convinced me of the Evil and Damage of those Courses I have taken I will not rest in a bare Confession that I am in the Wrong but by thy Grace will turn me into the Right Way and will utterly forsake all these my Follies thy Mercy indeed is great enough to forgive me upon my Humble Acknowledgments but to live in my Sin is as inconsistent with my Happiness as it is with thy holy Laws Therefore O my Soul he that desires thy Felicity will not forgive the old Score unless thou cease to run further in Debtâ— Dost thou not see that whil'st thou goest on in Sin thou art in the Way unto Eternal Death and beside art already dead to all Divine Comforts as to the sense of them and Buried alive in Lusts and Pleasures thy Flesh intombs thy precious Soul that is thus made wretched and the Grave-Cloths of vile Affections binds the Hand and Foot from moving towards God or breathing in the pure Air of Heavenly Meditations and canst thou like to stay in this filthy Place still when thou didst not see thy Misery no wonder if thou countedst this Dungeon and Vault a Pallace but now thou must abhor it when Jesus calls and saith Lazarus come forth Dost thou find the more thou followest these the less thou lovest God hast seldom any Converse with him slower Motions towards him and meaner Thoughts of him return then from these Evil Paths for now thou knowest the dead are there do not only seek a Pardon from him but desire a Communion with him who is thy Strength and Life thy Joy and Happiness and will be glad of thy Recovery that forgetting all thy Unworthiness formerly he will make thee happy hereafter there is nothing can hinder thee unless thou lovest thy Sins so well that thou wilt not forsake them and carest so little for God that thou hadst rather dye without him than live with him Holily here and Eternally Happily hereafter it had been well with my Soul if all this while my safty had been equal to my Confidence for none ever thought themselves more secure tho there was no other ground for it but only because I was not resolved to take the pains not to behold my Danger I have multiplyed my Transgressions and lived in Sins unamended yea un-repented of and therefore have had the drawn Sword of Divine Vengeance hanging over my guilty Head by the slender thread of my uncertain Life which every thing can snap in sunder yet have I wilfully shut mine eyes choosing rather to feel the Eternal Smart of it than to behold the dreadful sight which would have long time terrified me into an amendment and have snatcht me from under the approaching Ruine What prodigious Folly hath seized on me What stupid Lazines hath benummed me Are the Pains of escaping greater than the Pains of Suffering Or will the Blow be the lighter because I resolve neither to see it nor avoid it Awake my Soul while there is a Possibility to prevent thy Ruine thy Sins are so numerous and so hainous that thou canst not be ignorant of them the Threatnings of Gods Wrath are so plain and positive that thou mayst see plainly that they aim at thee thy Conscience cryes so loud that thou canst not but hear it and Gods Holy Spirit pleads still so powerfully that thou must take so much Pains to exclude these Friends as would serve to turn out thy Enemies surely God gave me not Wit and Understanding to make a plauceable Cover for the eyes of my Conscience or to contrive Bulwarks of Excuses to entrench my sins in safety and yet I unhappy Wretch have been ingenious in nothing so much as in plotting the Ruine of my precious Soul and designing to perish undisturbed behold and blush to see how and where holy David lies covered with Shame and drowned in his Tears quite overwhelmed with Sorrow not able through Fear and Sorrow to take his Eyes off that one Offence whil'st thou a far greater Sinner art careless and unconverted he sets his sins before his own Face and God he throws them behind his Back when the sight of them will not conduce to the obtaining of my Pardon but the Aggravation of my Eternal Misery the sight of them indeed is most unpleasant the Object odious and ungrateful but the Benefit will most abundantly recompence the Trouble and if I behold them now so as to repent of them I shall see them no more for ever I will Imitate therefore this holy Man and ever view the Guilt and Danger of them that I may humbly confess them with Sorrow and obtain a Pardon for them my wretched Heart hath taken pleasure in the Committing them and it shall have Vexation in Reflecting on them for I will not take my eyes off from them till the horrid Aspect of my grievous Iniquities have humbled my Soul for them and turned my