bodies And sure since it cannot be denied but a vertue that overcomes the highest difficulties fiercest inclinations and most youthful passions must needs excel all others then it cannot be in the least doubted but that a young handsom Widow that leads a retir'd strict and unmarried life must needs in that kind surpass all other Women because she practises more the vertue of continence than any of them can I mean as to the outward mark of our knowledge since a Widow that lives in a true conformity to such a strict pious life resembles most and approaches closest to the heavenly one which must needs be the best as coming nearest to perfection for she declines the natural commerce of the body to enjoy the better and Spiritual Contemplation of the Soul. And 't is most certain the more Women keep their thoughts and desires from worldly delights and vanities the more their minds will be fortified against them and the more ready they 'll be to embrace true felicity We read in Scripture that the Womans subjection to the Man was laid on her as a penance and punishment for her disobedience to her God. Truly most of the young Married Sparks of our Age are very active in observing Gods pleasure herein yet not at all on the account of the Almighty's design but the worlds practice which is for such Sparks to make Marriage a punishment to the Woman as much as they can that is as much as some Wives will for serve honour and obey are grown but words of course which all Women must repeat after the Minister at Marriage but few will perform after they are Married and their promise of obedience till death them do part is seldom in their thoughts as long as they live Indeed I have known some young handsom Widows who have lov'd their own Reputation and their Husbands Memory so much as to continue some years in a strict deep Mourning as well in their Life as Dress And I have also known other Widows of the wild brisk London brood that have not so much Complemented their Husbands death as to hold out one year a Widows Life tho contrary to the Custom of the Country and the common Rules of decency and civility And as shewing so little a concern for a Husband is very unbecoming and highly immodest not to speak worse so on the other hand overmuch grief and despair are both imprudent and irreligious But I need not speak much of this overabundant Mourning for a Husband since 't is a distemper of mind very few Widows of our age are inclin'd too and therefore not in danger of being infected with for most Widows can tell us that they are so well read in the brave Roman Story who though they had no other bounds to their aspiring hopes than the Conquest of the whole world yet they still placed their glory and praise as much in suffering well as in doing so saying as they ought not to be overmuch exalted by prosperity so they ought not to be too much depressed or cast down by adversity but to observe the Golden Rule of Mediocrity in both Cases and therefore 't is not ill Wife-like but brave Roman like to suffer all losses with Courage and Patience And 't is from these Considerations that many of our fine young gay brisk Widows say They esteem more the Phylosophers Wit than his Wisdom who being in great affliction and weeping most bitterly for the death of his Wife one of his friends told him his crying could do neither him nor her any good Therefore said the Philosopher I Cry. But this is a kind of doleful Logick that suits ill with the sprightly gaiety of our fine young Widows and therefore it must be needless as well as troublesom to mind them of it it being a very unmodish doctrin to preach to such young Widows that because their Husbands are out of the world therefore they ought to live as if they were not in it and bury themselves alive in a strict solitary retirement which they will tell you savours more of great folly than true wisdom since no Woman by her Matrimonial Vow is engaged to Love her Husband longer than till death them do part and indeed as Wives now go I think 't is very extraordinary to meet one that truly loves her Husband half so long In a word she that gives her Husband a more lasting Love than she promised is generously kind but she that pays him as much as she ingaged for is truly just Next 't is most certain that all extreams are bad and therefore Widows ought to avoid them on both sides either by shewing too little a Concern or too violent a Grief for their Husbands death I know I need not travel your thoughts so far as the East-Indies to shew you the barbarous examples of Womens love to their dead Husbands bodies by sacrificing themselves to the Devil by burning themselves alive soon after their Husbands death we have examples enough in the History of our Neighbouring Princes of their Wives barbarous Cruelty committed against their own Lives for their Husbands loss of theirs but then do not mistake me so as to think I believe there are any such kind of fond foolish Wives in our age as Adymond Queen of Sweedland who when she heard her Husband was kill'd by the Danes said she would soon follow him and presently stabb'd her self I might name you many more of this bloody Nature but surely such kind of Tragical examples are to be look'd upon but as the vile and wicked effects of madness or a devilish despair and not at all the motions of a pious vertuous love since good Wives may shew their kindness without shedding their blood and may mourn heartily without dying Cruelly for such unnatural deaths utterly destroy that great Christian vertue of well regulating their passions And certainly no Widow stands more engaged to her Husbands memory either by the Laws of outward Civility and good manners or by the inward effects of true love and real esteem than to observe those kinds of measures and degrees of mourning for their Husbands which are usual according to the rules of custom and decency which is to live a strict religious and unmarried life for some considerable time or longer as some Women do and among those many who continue so to the end of their days and so are Widows indeed according to S. Pauls phrase and so deserve his character of honour And among those I cannot omit a just commendation of the three most Excellent vertuous Ladies and kind Sisters who live together near London I need not name them because I am sure there are not three Widow Sisters of their high Quality great Vertue and clear Reputation that live together in all England for which as they have the just admiration and praises of all true Lovers of Vertue so I wish all Widows would strive to imitate their religious example that so like them they might
conflicts and temptations of Conscience which still rack and torture ill Womens minds when they come to die for tho God casts her on her Bed of sickness and pain yet he will be sure to lift her up with the arms of mercy and bless her with the assurance of a perfect state of Bliss after her painful life is ended for tho Death be the wages of Sin yet a Pious death is but the passage to a Heavenly Life And a Religious vertuous Woman at her death will as certainly enter into a state of eternal Felicity as an impious vain and wicked one will into that of deserved misery Solomon says That the fear of God is not only the beginning of wisdom but the end of it for it teacheth you to regulate your desires and purifie your actions as it will make you live well in order to die so So that indeed our good actions concur in their influence towards the happiness of our souls as the Sun does in motion to the Dial the Dial is not the true cause of the Suns motion to it yet by the Suns shining on the Dial you may truly Judge of the true motion of the Sun. But leaving aside that dispute whether good works can only merit Heaven or not as the Papists teach I am sure living a pious vertuous life in the faith of the holy Jesus will certainly carry you there this all Ladies know but few will practise or so much as think of I mean as you ought for you usually defer all thoughts of the other World till you are just parting out of this when alas the time present is only yours for that past is no more and that to come is not yet so that you do but live between them both the present being the only time you can properly call yours for God well knowing what great Prodigals you are of it is so providently merciful as to trust you only with a Minute at a Time for as he gives you one so he still takes away the other as a Lesson of instruction not to rely on any time but the present and to perform all your Christian duties in it as the only time appointed you by God for it And Ladies if you will but employ this present time as you ought you will certainly find time enough in it to enjoy both the delights of this World and to secure you the felicities of the next By this all our vain Ladies may easily know and joyfully conclude that there needs no great difficulty in obtaining Heaven since it only requires as I have told you a strict pious and vertuous life to compass it which may easily be done if you will but spend half so much time in serving your God as you daily wast in looking on your Glass in praying for your Soul as in setting out your Face which must certainly nay perhaps suddenly stink rot and be eaten up by nasty Worms And really supposing there was no such place of Bliss as Heaven for the Godly nor yet of Torment as Hell for the wicked yet a pious vertuous life cannot but be more healthful for the body and more satisfactory to the mind than excess pride and vanity can be to either Next 't is worth your consideration to think how little true content most of you can find in this World and how little time 't is you can enjoy that little you do desire for such considerations cannot but render you somewhat sensible of your great and extravagant folly in all your ludicrous sports and pastimes unskilfully gaming away your souls so as in a manner to set Eternity against a Moment I mean the Momentary pleasures of this life which cannot last before the joys of Heaven which are everlasting and sure there can be nothing more foolish than to rely on the duration of your abode on Earth as any solid and lasting possession there being nothing more frail and tottering than the Basis your life stands on for tho you are never so healthful yet you cannot but find in your self some marks and symptoms of Mortality which may serve as Advertisements of the instability of this your earthly being which is subject to a thousand Diseases and a torrent of Accidents especially in you fine young Ladies whose bodies are so tenderly built and nicely composed as the leaving off a Hood or wanting of a Skarf the least crum of Bread that sticks in your Throats or the smallest stop in the course of your Blood I had almost said or motion of your Tongues puts the whole Oeconomy of your body in disorder if not utter ruin witness as an instance of this accidental mortality Pope Adrian who as story says was choaked with a Flie nay your very food the support and maintainer of your life ought to be a Memorandum of your Mortality since you cannot live without it and if sleep be the Image of death you are by the very necessities of your nature to die every night during the few days you live But whether you live long or die early you must certainly Die and you are in this as well as in all things else to submit your will to Gods and to bend your greatest endeavors and fix your strongest resolutions in an intire obedince to it which if you truly and heartily do you must learn the great vertue and Christian perfection of self-denial and despise all those worldly flatteries and enjoyments mortifie all your excess of vanity and extravagant pleasures that you may become truly amiable pure and holy in the sight of God when you live in compliance to his holy Laws and submit in all things to his good will and pleasure who is all love and beauty itself in the highest measure and perfection and therefore the least spot or impurity in your lives is a direct violence and contradiction to the most excellent nature and being of an infinitely pure and holy God. And now before I quite finish this Discourse let me beg one of you Ladies to suppose your ' self to be in the actual possession of all the worldly pleasures you can fancy that you enjoy as great honours as your ambition can aspire unto and as much Beauty and Riches as your vain and Covetous humor can thirst after and as many rarities as your appetite can wish for and that your Gallant was as kind handsom and constant as you could wish In a word that you thought him as beautiful as you think your self pray do but now consider what all these will amount to at the hour of death and in order to it reflect a little seriously what a weak Basis your life stands on for according to the common Law of the Land a Life is valued but at seven Years purchase and many times by the course of Nature a Life does not last half so long Next if you will but condescend so far to mortifie your self as to go and visit one of these Lovers of vanity and railliers of Religion
read that the Romans were so very cautious and wise as to banish out of their Republick such as should attempt to give any new advice in it and I fancy the reason for it was that they believed there were more bad than good Men in their Republic and therefore such more forward to receive ill Advice than hearken to good Counsel And since I put no Name here I will venture to say 'T were well the same Rule were used as to Dresses and that any one that brought into England a new fashion'd Dress according to the Paris Mode might be banished it because 't is most certain there are more of our young Men and Women extravagantly given than vertuously inclin'd and consequently more apt to imitate a new Mode especially if a French Dress than any sober decent Apparel of their own Country Growth for indeed it may be truly said of our English following French fashions what a Writer said of Aristotle that whatsoever indigested notions he vomited up there were many young Philosophers ready to lick them up I am sure what extravagant fashions the French wear too many people are apt to approve and follow Really I cannot now but laugh as well as wonder when I think how our young English Nobility and Gentry are tied and confined to the strict Rules of the French fashions for our English Judgments in that grand affair of Dresses are only admitted to imitate and approve and many imitate what they do not approve for their Fancies are not allow'd to invent or choose scarce add or diminish but we must forsooth with an implicit Faith reverence what the French wear and to be as infallible a rule to our English Modes as a Church Decree is a Guide to those of the Roman Faith. In a word our young Gallants are grown so very vain in their Apparel and Dresses that desiring to see change and excess of vanity we need but look on one anothers vain change of Dresses being almost as diverse as the Persons that wear them and therefore 't is impossible to view them all but I can give you in a line this exact and true Character of them That our Modes are become the effects of our vain fantastick Prodigality and more irregular Inconstancy Indeed all our vain expensive French Dresses may make the Ladies or Gallants finer but never better or worser for Embroidered Clothes to our Bodies are but like flowers of Rhetoric in Speeches they make the words sound the sweeter but render not the sense the better it may please the Ear but it does not improve the Judgment Or like silver Dishes on a Table they may shew their own Costliness but they make no addition or goodness to the Meat they contain whatever they may do to the fancy of the Eater or Observer Really if we would but allow Conscience or Reason a Vote in this affair we should soon be assured by them that there appears more true wisdom and satisfaction in giving one Penny as an Alms-deed for Christ's sake than in laying out many Pounds on bravery for our own more real fine in Clothing one that 's naked on a pious account of true Charity than by bedawbing twenty footmen in Gold or Silver rich Liveries on the score either of vanity or Fashion and that because it suits the London or Paris Mode For I esteem Livery men excepting those that are really necessary to a Mans person and Quality but just so many Porters that are hired to carry about a Mans pride and folly and the several Colours of his Liveries to be but so many Lures and Jack Puddings to draw mens Eyes to behold a fair shew not only of his own Pride but often of his Merchants loss for 't is now grown no common wonder especially in London to see young Sparks Clothes and their Footmens Liveries to last longer in their Merchants books than on their own or Footmens backs and they turned off before the Books are Crossed out In a word I wish our French fashions may not prove fatal follies by being soon naturalized into English Customs for then let them be never so costly ridiculous and vain like blackness among the Aethiopians the commonness may remove their deformity but can never smother the prejudices against them I will now only add this Consideration to conclude all in reference to our fine young Frenchefied Ladies and that is that they would seriously reflect on the end of all their fine Modish Dresses and their greater loss of pretious time they wast about them which occasions their minding so much the fineness of their Bodies as many of them neglect by it the care of their Souls the best and only lasting part and therefore they should remember that they must die certainly tho they now live pleasantly and then all their plenty of fine rich Frenchefied Dresses will be contained in one poor Winding Sheet and their exact slender shape in a Coffin and all their fine Gallants and constant admirers will leave them at the Grave where their Bodies will be only fit to be enjoyed by nasty worms This young Ladies is the true Epilogue to the sad Tragedy of your vain Dresses and what 's yet worse than all your Souls will be in as sad a condition as your Bodies after death without a hearty Repentance which can never be without a real amendment in abandoning not only great Sins but vain excesses as well in Dresses as wasting time about them and that you come to esteem them as Solomon did the pleasures of this World only as vanity of vanities Therefore all you young Ladies that desire to cloath your Souls in a Heavenly dress adorn your Lives with constant Piety and your Bodies with modest and decent Clothing such as wasts not too much of your time or Estate but wear still what is most generally worn and then you may be sure that few persons will either gaze or laugh at you THE ELEVENTH DISCOURSE Of Worldly Praises which all Ladies love to receive but few strive to merit with the sad end of it and them when they come to Die. WOrldly Praise is a Subject I shall write little of for these two Reasons first that I need not write for it and next that I dare not write against it for as on the one hand it would be vain and superfluous to make that my business to commend what all Praise so on the other side it would argue a great folly to write against that all the World writes for therefore to prevent all I can writing superfluously or foolishly I shall only glance this Discourse on the Worlds high esteem and eager ambition after vain Praises the desires of gaining it being as inseparable from most Men and Womens Actions as Light is from the Sun or heat from fire and shall only name the common ways to it and the usual end of it and them when they come to die Praise is that great Idol which all people in the World