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A02079 The blacke bookes messenger Laying open the life and death of Ned Browne one of the most notable cutpurses, crosbiters, and conny-catchers, that euer liued in England. Heerein hee telleth verie pleasantly in his owne person such strange prancks and monstrous villanies by him and his consorte performed, as the like was yet neuer heard of in any of the former bookes of conny-catching. By R.G. Greene, Robert, 1558?-1592. 1592 (1592) STC 12223; ESTC S105894 14,911 30

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who in the ende was crossebitten her selfe and thus it fel out She compacted with a Hooker whom some call a Curber hauing before bargained with the Gentleman to tell her tales in her eare all night hee came according to promise who hauing supt and going to bed was aduised by my wife to lay his clothes in the window where the Hookers Crome might crossbite them from him yet secretly intending before in the night time to steale his money forth of his sléeue They beeing in bed together slept soundly yet such was his chaunce that he sodenly wakened long before her being sore troubled with a laske rose vp and made a double vse of his Chamber pot that done he intended to throw it forth at the window which the better to performe he first remoued his clothes from thence at which instant the spring of the window rose vp of the owne accord This sodaiuly amazed him so that he leapt backe leaning the chamber pot still standing in the window fearing that the deuill had béen at hand By by he espyed a faire iron Crome come marching in at the window which in steade of the dublet and hose he sought for sodenly tooke hold of that homely seruice in the member vessell and so pluckt goodman Iurdaine with all his contents downe pat on the Curbers pate Neuer was gentle Angl●r so drest for his face his head and his necke were all besmeared with the soft ●●rreuerence so as hee stunke worse than a ●akes Farmer The Gentleman hearing one cry out and séeing his messe of altogether so strangely taken away began to take hart to him and looking out perceiued the Curber lye almost brained almost drowned well neare poysoned therewith where at laughing hartily to himselfe hee put on his owne clothes and gotte him secretly away laying my wiues clothes in the same place which the gentle Angler soone after tooke but neuer could she get them againe till this day This Gentlemen was my course of life and thus I got much by villany and spent it amongst whores as carelessely I sildome or neuer listened to the admonition of my fréendes neither did the fall of other men learne me to beware and therefore am I brought now to this end yet little did I think to haue laid my bones in Fraunce I thought indéed that Tyburne would at last haue shakt me by the necke but hauing done villany in England this was alwaies my course to slip ouer into the Low Countries and there for a while play the souldiour and partly that was the cause of my comming hither for growing odious in and about London for my filching lifting nipping foysting and cros-biting that euery one held me in contempt and almost disdained my companie I resolued to come ouer into Fraunce by bearing Armes to winne some credite determining with my selfe to become a true man ●ut as men though they chaunge Countries alter not their minds so giuen ouer by God into a reprobate sence I had no féeling of goodnes but with the dogge fell to my elde vomit and héere most wickedly I haue committed sacrilege robd a Church and done other mischéeuous pranks for which iustly I am condemned and must suffer death whereby I learne that reuenge deferd is not quittanst that though God suffer the wicked for a time yet hee paies home at length for while I lasciuiously lead a carelesse life if my friendes warned mée of it I scoft at them if they told me of the gallowes I would sweare it was my destenie and now I haue proued my selfe no lyar yet must I die more basely and bée hangd out at a window Oh Countrymen and Gentlemen I haue helde you long as good at the first as at the last take then this for a farewell Trust not in your owne wits for they will become too wilfull oft and so deceiue you Boast not in strength nor stand not on your manhood so to maintain quarrels for the end of brawling is confusion but vse your courage indefence of your country and then feare not to die for the bullet is an honorable death Beware of whores for they be the Syrens that draw men on to destruction their swéet words are inchantments their eyes allure and their beauties bewitch Oh take héede of their perswasions for they be Crocodiles that when they wéepe destroy Truth is honorable and better is it to be a poore honest man than a rich wealthy théefe for the fairest end is the gallowes and what a shame is it to a mans fréends when hee dies so basely Scorne not labour Gentlemen nor hold not any course of life bad or seruile that is profitable and honest least in giuing your selues ouer to idlenesse and hauing no yéerly maintenance you fall into many preiudiciall mischiefs Contemne not the vertuous counsaile of a frend despise not the hearing of Gods Ministers scoffe not at the Magistrates but feare God honor your Prince and loue your country then God will blesse you as I hope he will do me for all my manifolde offences and so Lord into thy hands I commit my spirit and with that he himselfe sprung out at the window and died Hereby the way you shall vnderstand that going ouer into Fraunce he neare vnte Arx robd a Church was therefore condemned and hauing no gallowes by they hangd him out at a window fastning the roape about the Bar and thus this Ned Browne died miserably that all his life time had béene full of mischiefe villany sleightly at his death regarding the state of his soule But note a wonderfull iudgement of God shewed vppon him after his death his body béeing taken down buried without the towne it is verified that in the night time there came a company of Wolues and torehim out of his graue and eate him vp where as there lay many souldiers buried many dead carcasses that they might haue prayde on to haue filled their hungry paunches But the iudgments of God as they are iust so they are inscrutable yet thus much we may coniecture that as he was one that delighted in rapine and stealth in his life so at his death the rauenous Wolues deuoured him pluckt him out of his graue as a man not worthy to be admitted to the honor of any buryall Thus haue I set downe the life and death of Ned Browne a famous Cutpurse and Conny-catcher by whose example if any be profited I haue the desired ende of my labour FINIS