that thou spareste not hym that offendeth If I loke vpon thy power O how mightie and stronge thou art if I shall cal for iudgemente who shall defende my matter or speak for me To thée O lorde I cal and crie to thée my God I make myne humble sute Tourne awaie thyne anger from me That I maye knowe that thou arte more mercifull vnto me then my synnes deserue What is my streÌ„gth that I maie indure Or what is y e ende of my trouble that my soule maie pacieÌ„tly abide it My streÌ„gth is not a stonie strength and my flesh is not made of brasse There is no helpe in my selfe and my strength fleeth awaie from me Although thou hide these thynges in thyne harte yet I knowe that thou wilt remember me at length For thou art true and iust O lorde God thou doest not condemne vniustly whiche rewardest man accordyng to his deserteâ— All this is come vnto me bicause I haue forgotteÌ„ thée and not vsed my self truely in thy testament My hart hath turned backwarde and I hauâ— followed the desires of my fleshe And thou hast surely knowen thiâ— thing which â—nowest the sâ—cretes of the hart Laie not againste me O lord the sinnes of my youth nor haue in remembraunce â—yne olde iniuries dooen against thee Daily sorowe ouercometh me and saâ—nesse possesseth my harte I looke after peace but I can not haue it I looke for a tyme of health but my grief continueth still When the tyme of thyne anger is past let mercy come yet am I vnhappy more and more Woe and alas that euer I synned My harte therefore mourneth is sad all mirth and ioye be banished froÌ„ me How am I wasted How miserably am I confounded bicause I haue forsaken and caste awaie thy lawe Death hath asceÌ„ded vp by the windowes pearcyng the inwarde partes of my hart When I daily one while in use secretly with my self an other while with loude voice crie out and complain the meane tym◠〈◊〉 draweth nere to the pitte Who shall giue me place to reste in from all my griefes and troubles And I will forsake all men and get me awaie from them Who shal giue me water to my heade and a fountaine of teares to myne iyes that I maie bewaile my synnes bothe night and daie And I will looke for hym whiche maie saue me and deliuer me from the wrathe to come I haue no trust neither in life nor death but I feare thy iudgement o lorde the paines prepared for wicked sinners The feare of my sinne maketh me carefull the burdein of my conscieÌ„ce oppresseth me sore O God whiche tenderly louest mankinde art most rightful iudge spare me now I beseche thée and shewe me some fauour while tyme is Forgiue that which I feare putte awaie that whiche I dread before I depart hence and shall not returne again My synnes do vexe trouble me sore thei be so greate that none can be greater Alas my fal alas my miserie alas y e grief of my plague and stroke certainly my syn is the cause of all this and so I will take and suffer it ¶ The .v. Psalme for the obteinyng of godly wisedome O Lorde God of mercie whiche by thy woorde hast made all thinges and by thy wisedome haste created manne O God eternall to whom all thynges bee knowen bee thei neuer so secrete whiche knowest all thynges before thei be doen. Open my lippes and my mouthe that I make speake and shewe forthe the glorie and praise of thy name Giue me a newe hart and a right spirit take from me all wicked sinfull desires O lorde I am folishe ignoraunt and blinde wheÌ„ I am destitute of thy knowledge I am ignorant and without intelligeÌ„ce my dulnesse is so great that my iyes can no see nor my hart perceiue Yea I am a very babe and a child and knowe full little mine owne life coÌ„uersatioÌ„ My lippes bee defiled and vncleane my tyme is short and I am not able to vnderstande thy lawe Giue thy seruaunte I beseche thee an harte apte to take learnyng that I maye knowe what thing is acceptable in thy sight at al times Sende doune from heaueÌ„ the spirite of thy wisedome and replenishe my hart with knowledge thereof The wisedom giueth true knoweldge and out of thy mouth procedeth bothe couÌ„saile and intelligence Thy wisedome openeth the mouthe of the dombe and maketh the tongue of infantes eloquent If any seme to be perfecte among men yet if thy wisedome forsake hym he shalbe reckened nothyng worthe Thy wisedome is to men a treasure that faileth not which who so vse it thei are ioined to god in loue amitie Howe well is it with that man which is wittie in this behalf and hath his soule indued with thy wisedome What manne in all the worlde knoweth thy counsaile Or who caÌ„ compasse in his minde what thy will is Who can coÌ„prehende thy purpose and mynde Except thou giue him wisedom and instructe hym with thy holie spirite For mennes reasons dooe faile in many thynges and their forecastes and inuentions be vncertaine vnsure For the mortall and corruptable bodie muche greeueth the soule and the earthly house of the bodie holdeth doune the minde musyng vpon many thynges CouÌ„saile and good successe commeth from aboue wher also wisedome is and vertue With thee O lorde is richesse glorie and righteousnesse whiche bee treasures incorruptible He that hath fouÌ„d out thee hath founde life and he that loueth not thée loueth death O Lorde GOD touche my mouthe that my iniquitie maie bee driuen awaie dwell thou in my harte that my synnes maie be purged Wisedome doeth not enter into a malicious soule nor will abide in a bodie whiche is suiecte to synne Teache me O lorde God least my ignorance increase and my synnes waxe moe and moe Let thy spirite teache me the thynges that bee pleasaunt vnto thée that I maie bee ledde into the straighte waie out of errours wherin I haue wandered ouer long Let thy wisedome bée stablished in my spirite write thy lawe in my harte Thy wisedome is to me more precious then al riches and I desire more to haue it thaÌ„ all other thinges be thei neuer so faire and goodly O lord thou knowest how sore I am inflamed with the loue of thy wisedome which is my onely studie and meditation O how pleasaunt swete thy wordes be to my harte truely muche more then honie is to my mouthe Thy worde is a bright caÌ„dell to my feete and a lighte to my waies Thy wisedom pleaseth me more then thousaÌ„des of gold or of siluer can doe I haue more pleasure and delectatioÌ„ in the waie of thy wisedome then in greate aboundaunce of treasure Would GOD my waies maie be ordered that I may learne thy wisedom and thy woordes Thy woorde giueth heate and inflameth wherefore I greatly desire it O happie is he lorde whoÌ„ thou instructest and makest learned in thy lawe His soule hath alwaie
Al the thoughtes and imaginations of my harte haue been sette to dooe euill euer since I was young O why do I dye in my sinnes lorde God seyng thy wil is not that a synner dye but returne from his synne and liue For thou art good and mercifull and accordyng to thy greate mercie sauest theim that be vnworthie For albeit no man is able to beare the punishemente whiche thou dooest threaten against sinners yet the mercie whiche thou hast promised is greate vnsearchable Thou hast shewed mercie a thousande tymes heretofore to make thy name glorious as it is euen yet still The olde fathers in their necessities cried vnto thee thou didst deliuer them ther putte their trust in thee and thei were not confounded When thei were at their wittes ende and wiste not what to dooe this was their onely refuge to lift vp their eyes to thee Thou didst saue theim for thy names sake to shewe in them thy might and streÌ„gth Many a tyme thei prouoked thee throughe their iniquities and stirred thy goodnesse to displeasure Yet when thou saweste their tribulation and their lowlie submission vnto thee Thou didst remember thy promise and by and by baddest pitie and compassion vppon theim accordyng to the multitude of thy mercies Haue mercie vpon me O lorde God omnipotent haue mercie vpon me for I am a miserable and a wretched creature make me whole I beseche thee whoÌ„ thou haste striken for my synne and iniquitie My soule is troubled greatly how long O lorde wilt thou not loke towardes me How long wilt thou reiect my praier thus criyng oute vnto thée Wilte thou heare me at no tyme Howe long wilt thou tourne awaie thy face from me Where be thy old mercies O Lorde whom thou haste stablished in thy truthe Wilt thou now O Lorde God cease to shewe mercie Or wilt thou withdraw thy goodnesse for displeasure Hast thou caste me awaie for euer That thou wilte neuer hereafter bee pleased with me Thy hande is not weakened but it maie help and thy eares bee not stopped that thei refuse to heare How long shall my minde bee troubled with painfull and heauie thoughtes How long shall sorowe formente my harte How long shall myne enemie haue the ouerhande of me loke towardes me lorde God and heare my praier Giue light to myne eyes for I haue slepte to longe in death and my synnes haue preuailed against me Tourne againe O Lorde turne again and deliuer my soule saue me for thy great mercies sake Loe nowe is the accepted tyme nowe bee the daies of healthe and grace In death who shall remeÌ„ber thee In hell who shall laude or praise thee He that liueth he that liueth shall praise thee shall make thy mercie knowen Lorde rebuke me not in thine anger nor punishe me in thy greate displeasure Cast not thy dartes at me nor laie not thy heauie hand vpon me For I haue borne thyne anger a loÌ„g while and of the Cup of thy high displeasure I haue drunke very deepe There is no health in my fleshe for feare of thy displesure I haue no peace nor reste when I beholde my synnes My iniquities bee gone ouer my head and like an heuie burdein thei daily presse me doune The woundes in my soule dooe fester and stincke euen through myne owne follie I am a wretche cast awaie froÌ„ thy fauour and presence and goe mournynge all the daie long My soule is full of filthynesse and no parte of me is whole and sounde Wherefore my enemies dooe persecute me the more the greatnesse of my paine maketh me to rore and crie My hart fainteth and treÌ„bleth within me and my strength is gone awaie O Lorde thou knoweste my desire and thou seest my necessitie Forgiue me all my sinnes O Lorde GOD almightie for thyne owne sake and put out of thy sight my heinous offences for according to thy goodnesse thou haste promised forgiuenesse of synnes to theim that doe penaunce Haue mercie on me lorde for the glorie and honour of thy name and bee no longer displeased with me and then thou shalt surely be knowen to bee iuste and true in thy wordes and shalt ouercome when thou art iudged For by this thy great grace shalbe knowen that thou takest mercy on them whiche haue not whereof thei maie glory in thy sight And all the dwellers on the yearth shall learne and knowe thy goodnesse when thou shalt conferre and giue thy benefites to vs for thy greate names sake and not after our euill waies and wicked deedes Uerely lorde God except thou shewe vnto vs thy manifolde mercies the worlde shall not haue life nor thei that dwell therein And if thou helpe vs not with thy goodnesse how may thei whiche haue offended be raised vp froÌ„ their sinnes Haue mercie on me o good father haue mercie on me and for thy glorious name be no loÌ„ger angrie with me Take me synner vnto thy mercie for the name of thy holy sonne Iesus whoÌ„ thou haste sente to bee the obtainer of mercie for our sinnes through faithe in his bloud Beholde holie father beholde thy childe whom thou hast chosen beholde thy welbeloued sonne in whom thy soule deliteth vppon whom thou hast put thy holy spirit and sent hym to preache the Gospell to the poore to heale theim whiche for their synnes bee sorowfull and contrite to comforte them that mourne to preache pardone to the prisoners and sight to the blinde Beholde thy littell one which was borne for vs behold thy sonne whiche is giuen to vs whom thou haste not spared but giueÌ„ to death for vs all to bee a sweete offeryng and sacrifice to thee Uerely be tooke vpon him in his bodie our infirmities and he bare our paines He was made weake for our sinnes and he was wouÌ„â—ed for our offences The correcttion for oure peace was laied vpon hym by the strokes that he suffered our wouÌ„des wer healed All wee went a straie like sheepe euery one followed his owne waie and thou O lorde puttest on him our iniquitie strikyng hym for the offences of thy people He gaue his bodie to bee beaten and his cheekes to be striken he turned not a waie his face from them that scorned him and spit vpon hym Through his loue mercie he hath redeemed theim that were loste and by his bloud shedde on the crosse he hath pacified all thynges in heauen and in yearth He gaue hymself to death and made his praiers for theÌ„ whiche were offenders Loke O mercifull father and consider who it is that thus did suffer and remember I besche thee for whom he hath suffered For this is that innocente whom thou gauest to death for vs euen then when wee were synners and shall wée not beyng now iustified by his bloud muche rather bee saued from wrathe through hym If we when we were yet enemies were reconciled to thee by the death of thy soÌ„ne shall wée not beyng reconciled muche rather bee saued by his life Behold that pure
pacient of muche mercifulnesse and truthe Which for thy aboundant charitie and according to thy greate mercie hast taken vs out from the power of darknesse and haste saued vs by the fountaine of regeneration and newe birth and the renuyng of the holie ghoste whoÌ„ thou hast shed vpon vs aboundantly by Iesu Christ our sauiour If I haue found grace and fauour in thy sighte Suffer me to speake a woorde vnto thee and bee not displeased with me Why doest thou euer forgette me and leauest me in the middes of my troubles and euilles Where is become thy zeale and thy strength Where is the multitude of thy tender affections of thy mercies O lorde maie not he whiche is fallen rise vp againe or maie not he whiche hath gone awaie froÌ„ thée returne to thee againe Shall my sorowe euer indure Shall my wounde bée vncurable and neuer healed How commeth it to passe that I tourne still awaie froÌ„ thee my synne daily increaseth and of my self I cannot retourne In as muche as it is not giuen to manne to direct his own waies neither to make perfect his own procedinges For in thy hand is the life of euery liuyng thyng and the spirit also of euery man Thou shewest thy mercie to whoÌ„ thou wilte and thou art gracious to them whom thou fauourest Thou doest kill and thou doest quicken Thou leadest doune to hell gate and bryngest vp againe Thy iyes beholde the wayes of euery man and thou searchest the hartes of men There is no place so secret or darcke wherein synners may hide theÌ„ selues froÌ„ thée Nor any maÌ„ may so lurke and hide hym self in caues but thou shalt se hym which doest fulfill both heauen and yearth in euery parte Why hast thou cast me awaie from thy presence and takest me for thy enemie Why hast thou laied vpoÌ„ my head the heauie waight of my sinnes seyng no maÌ„ is able to beare thy displeasure What meaneth it that thou sheweste thy power against a wretche Why destroyest thou me for the sinnes of my youth If I haue sinned what shal I 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 thee if my sinnes be increased what shall I doe If I doe iustly what shall I giue to thee or what shall thou receiue at my hande My wickednesse shal hurt myself and my rightousnes shall profite me The life of man is a temptation vpon the yeare â—â—and if I haue synneâ— as all men haue what maiâ— I 〈◊〉 Shall any man bee founde cleane and without 〈◊〉 fore thee or shall 〈…〉 without default in his dides How maie â— morâ— all man 〈◊〉 puâ—e from spirite 〈◊〉 sight 〈◊〉 how maie he which is borne of a woman â—ee righteous Remember O lorde I beseche thee that thou haste made me of the yearth and that thou shalte brâ—ng me againe into the dust of death My daies passe and vanish awaie like smoke thei waist daily there is no tarriyng My life flieth awaie as the wynde and considereth not that whiche is good I 〈◊〉 but lately â—orne into thiâ— worlde and shortly I shalbe taken away hence by death I neuer continue still in one state The daies of my life bee fewe and shorte thou haste appoincted an ende which I shall not passe Naked and bare I came out of my mothers wombe and naked and bare I shall retourne againe Tuely all men liuyng are vanitie Haue pitie o lorde on theÌ„ that are in miserie despise not the workes of thy haÌ„des Though we sinnâ— yet are we vnder thée for we know thy power and strength and if we synne not then are we sure that thou regardest vs. Cease thy indignation O lorde and turne it from me and caste all my synnes behinde thy backe Take awaie thy plagues from me for thy punishmeÌ„t hath made me bothe feeble and fainte For when thou chastisest a manne for his sinnes thou causest him by and by to consume and pine awaie Whatsoeuer is delectable in hym perisheth like vnto the clothe that is eaten with Mothes Would God I had one to defende me a while vntill thy anger were tourned awaie or that thou wouldest set me a tyme in the whiche thou wouldest remeÌ„ber me I am cleane caste awaie froÌ„ thy preseÌ„ce shall I neuer hereafter se thy face againâ— â–ª Behold I haue opened the griefes of my soule the daies or my sorowes hauâ— takeÌ„ me The flâ—uddes of triâ—ulation coÌ„passe me rounde about and the â—reaures of thy fury renne ouer me And I crie â–ª vnto thee O lorde God but thou heareste me not I aske mercie but thou reieâ—test my praiers Why thrustest thou doun 〈◊〉 wretche froÌ„ thy presence or why forsakest thou me so long tyme Why takest thou not away my iniquitie And why puttest thou not awaie the wickednesse of my harte Arise and tarry no longer O Lorde arise and â—eieâ—â—e me not for euer Haue me in remembrance I beseche thée for I throâ—ghly tremble shake for feare Yet I will not holde my tonge â–ª but crie still vnto thée with a mournyng an heauie harte Tourne awaie the stroke of thy vengeaunce from me bryng my minde out of troubles into rest I am here no longer continewer but a pilgrime and a straunger as all other mortall men be And what â—s maÌ„ that thou shouldeâ—â— beâ— angerie with him Or what is mankinde that thou shouldest be so heauie Lorde vnto vs What witte thou bryng folowe vpon sorowe I pant for paine and finde no reste My sorowe greeueth me when I should eate sodain fighes ouer whelme my hart I am as if my bones were all to broken when I heare myne enemies raile vpoÌ„ me and saie to me daie by daie where is thy Godâ— Why tournest thou thy face awaie froÌ„ these thinges O Lorde Why hast thou no regarde of my trouble I earnestly â—ake my prayers daiely 〈◊〉 thy sight and the heauinesse of my hart â–ª I doe shewe vnto thee My spirite is carefull and troubled within me and desperation hath entered into my harte Is it thy pleasure O lorde GOD to caste awaie thyne owne handie worke Deliuer my soule froÌ„ corruption and my life from euerlastyng darkenesse What auaileth it me that euer I was borne if thou caste me straight into damnation seyng that she deade shall not praise thee nor any of theim whiche goe doune to helle I haue synned what shall I doe to thee why hast thou putte me to bee contrarie to thee I am wearie of myne owne self Why searcheste thou out my sinnes so narrowly wheÌ„ there is no man that caÌ„ take out of thy hande If â— would say that I wer rightous and without sinne then thou mightest worthily condemne me to the fire prepared for the Deuill and his angelles But I confesse that I am a synner and I dooe humble my harte in thy sight Surely if any man would stande with thee in iudgement he shall not be able to answere one word to a thousande thynges wherewith thou mightest charge hym This maketh me to feare all my deedes knowing
ende Amen Glory be to the father c. As it was in the begin c. FINIS The Queenes praiers Or Meditations wherein the mynde is stirred to suffer all afflictions here Jmprinted at London by H. Wykes Colloss iij. ¶ If ye bee risen againe with Christe seke the thynges whiche are aboue where Christe sitteth on the righte hande of God sette your affection on thynges that are aboue not on thynges which are on the yearth MOoste benyng Lorde Iesu graunte me thy grace that it maie alwaie woorke in me and perseuere with me vnto thende Graunte me that I maie euer desire and will that whiche is moste pleasaunte and moste acceptable to thee Thy will bée my will and my will be to folowe alwaie thy will Lette there bée alwaie in me one will and one desire with thee and that I haue no desire to will or not to will but as thou wilt Lorde thou knowest what thynges is moste profitable and moste expedient for me Giue therefore what thou wilt as muche as thou wilt and when thou wilt Dooe with me what thou wilte as it shall please thee and as shalbe moste to thine honour Put me where thou wilt and fréely doe with me in all thynges after thy will Thy creature I am and in thy handes leade and turne me where thou wilt Loe I am thy seruaunte readie to doe all thinges that thou commaundest for I desire not to liue to my self but to thee Lorde Iesus I praie thee graunte me grace that I neuer set my harte on the thinges of this worlde but that all worldly and carnall affections maie vtterly dye and be mortified in me Graunt me aboue al thinges that I maie rest in thee and fullie quiete and pacifie my harte in thee For thou lorde art the verie true peace of harte and the perfecte rest of the soule and without thee all thynges be greuous and vnquiet My lorde Iesus I beseche thee bee with me in euery place and at all tymes and let it bee to me a speciall solace gladly for thy loue too lacke all worldly solace And if thou withdrawe coÌ„forte from me at any tyme keepe me O lorde from desperation and make me paceintly to abide thy will and ordinaunce O Lorde Iesu thy Iudgementes be rightous and thy prouidence is muche better for me then all that I can imagine or deuise Wherefore do with me in all thynges as it shall please thee for it maie not bee but well all that thou doest If thou wilte that I be in light bee thou blessed if thou wilte that I be in darknesse be thou also blessed If thou vouchsaue to comfort me be thou highly blessed if thou wilt I liue in trouble and without comfort be thou likewise euer blessed Lorde giue me grace gladly to suffer whatsoeuer thou wilte shall fall vpon me and pacientely to take it at thy hande good and hadde bitter and swete ioye and sorowe and for all thynges that shal befall vnto me hartely too thanke thee Kepe me lorde from sinne I shall then neither dread death nor hell O what thankes ought I to giue vnto thee which hast suffered the greeuous death of the Crosse to deliuer me from my synnes and to obtain euerlastyng life for me Thou gaueste vs mooste perfecte example of pacience fulfillynge and obeiyng the will of thy father euen vnto the death Make mée wretched synner obediently to vse my self after thy will in all thinges and paciently too beare the burdeÌ„ of this corruptible life For though this life be tedious and as an heauie burden to my soule yet neuerthelesse through thy grace and by example of thee it is now made muche more easie and coÌ„fortable then it was before thy incarnation and passion Thy holie life is our waie to thee and by followyng of thee we walke to thée that art our heade and sauiour and yet except thou haddest gone before and shewed vs the waie to euerlastyng life Who would indeuoure hym self to followe thée Seyng we bee yet so slowe and dull hauyng the light of thy blessed example and holie doctrine to lead and direct vs. O Lorde Iesu make that possible by grace that is too me impossible by nature Thou knowest well that I maie little suffer and that I am anone caste doune and ouerthrowen with a little aduersitie wherefore I beseche thée O lorde to strengthen me with thy spirit that I maie willyngly suffer for thy sake al maner of trouble and affliction Lorde I will knowledge vnto thee all myne vnrighteousnesse and I will coÌ„fesse to thee all the vnstablenesse of my harte Oftentymes a verie little thing troubleth me sore and maketh me duâ—le and slowe to serue thee And sometyme I purpose to stande strongly but when a little trouble commeth it is to me great anguishe and griefe and of a righte little thyng riseth a geeuous temptation to me Yea when I thynke my self to be sure and stroÌ„g and that as it semeth I haue the vpper hande sodainly I féele my self readie to fall with a little blaste of temptation Behold therfore good lorde my weaknesse and consider my frailnesse beste knowen to thee Haue mercie on me and deliuer me from all iniquitie and synne that I bee not intangled therewith OfteÌ„tymes it greueth me sore and in maner confoundeth me that I am so vnstable so weake and so fraile in resistyng sinfull motions Whiche althoughe they drawe me not awaie to consent yet neuerthelesse their assaultes bee verie gréeuous vnto me And it is tedious to me to liue in suche battaill albeit I perceiue that suche battaile is not vnprofitable vnto me For thereby I knowe the better my self mine owne infirmities and that I must seke help onely at thy haÌ„des O lorde God of Israel the louer of all faithfull soules vouchsafe to beholde the labour and sorrowe of me thy poore creature Assiste me in all thynges with thy grace so strength me with heauenly strength that neither my cruell enemie the fâ—ende neither my wretched fleshe whiche is not yet subiecte to the spirit haue victorie or dominion ouer me O what a life maie this be called where no trouble nor miserie lacketh Where euery place is full of snares of morall enemies For one trouble or temptation ouerpassed an other commeth by and by and the firste conflicte yet duryng a new battaile sodenly ariseth Wherefore Lorde Iesu I praie thee giue me the grace to rest in thee aboue al thinges and to quiete me in thée aboue all creatures aboue al glorie and honour aboue all dignitie and power aboue al cunnyng policie aboue all healthe and beautie aboue al riches and treasure aboue all ioye and pleasure aboue all fame and praise aboue al mirthe and consolation that mannes harte maie take or feele besides thee For thou Lorde God art best moste wise moste high moste mightie moste sufficiente and moste full of goodnesse moste swete and most coÌ„fortable moste faire most louyng moste noble moste glorious in whom
to my selfe while my spirite desireth te be vpward and contrary my fleshe draweth me dounward O what suffer I inwardly I go about to mynde heauenly thynges and straight a greate rable of worldelie thoughts rush into my soule Therefore Lorde bée not longe awaie ne departe not in thy wrathe from me Sende me the light of thy grace destroie in me all carnall desires Sende forth the hotte flames of thy loue to burne and consume the cloudie phantasies of my mynde Gather O Lorde my wittes the powers of my soule together in thee and make me to despise al worldly thinges and by thy grace strongly to resist and ouercome all motions occasions of sinne Help me thou euerlasting truthe that no worldly gile nor vanitie hereafter haue power to deceiue me Come also thou heauenlie swéetenes and let all bitternes of sinne flée farre froÌ„ me PardoÌ„ me and forgiue me as ofte as in my praier my mynde is not surely fixed on thee For many tymes I am not there where I stande or sitte But rather there whither my thoughtes cary me For there I am where my thoughtes bee and there as customablie is my thought there is that that I loue And that oftentimes commeth into my minde that by custome pleaseth me beste and that deliteth me moste to thinke vpon Accordyngly as thou doest saie in thy Gospell where as a mannes treasure is there is his harte Wherefore if I loue heauen I speake gladly thereof and of suche thinges as be of God and of that that appertaineth to his honor to the glorifiyng of his holie name And if I loue the worlde I loue to talke of worldly thinges I ioye anone in worldly felicitie and sorrowe and lameÌ„t soone for worldlie aduersitie If I loue the fleshe I imagine oftentymes that that pleaseth the fleshe If I loue my soule I delite muche to speake and to beare of thynges that be for my foule healthe And whatsoeuer I loue of that I gladly heare speake and beare the Images of theÌ„ still in my mynde Blessed is that man that for the loue of the Lorde setteth not by the pleasures of this worlde learneth truly to ouercome hym self and with the fauour of the spirit crucifieth his fleshe so that in a cleane and a pure conscience he maie offer his praiers to thee and bee accepted to haue company of thy blessed Angels al yearthly thinges excluded from his harte Lorde and holie father be thou blessed now euer for as thou wilte so is it dooen and that thou dooest is alwaie beste Lette me thy humble and vnworthie seruaunte ioye onely in thee and not in my self ne in any thyng els beside thee For thou Lorde arte my gladnes my hope my croun and all my honour What hath thy seruaunt but that he hath of thee and that without his deserte All thynges be thine thou hast created and made them I am poore and haue been in trouble and pain euer froÌ„ my youth and my soule hath been in greate heauines thorowe manifolde passioÌ„s that come of the worlde and of the fleshe Wherefore Lorde I desire that I maie haue of thée the ioye of inwarde peace I aske of thee to come to that rest whiche is ordeined for thy chosen children that be vâ—ed and nourished with the light of heauenly comfortes for without thy helpe I caâ— not come to thee Lorde giue me peace giue me inward ioy and then my soule shalbe full of heauenly melody and be deuoute and feruente in thy laudes and praisynges But if thou withdraw thy self from me as thou haste sometyme dooen then maie not thy seruaunte runne the waie of thy commaundemeÌ„tes as I did beforâ— For it is now with me as it was when the Lanterne of thy ghostlie presence did shine vpon my heade and I was defended vnder the shadowe of thy winges from all perilles and daungers O mercifull Lorde Iesu euer to be praised the time is come that thou wilte proue thy seruaunte and rightfull is it that I shall now suffer somewhat for thee Now is the howre come that thou hast knowen from the beginnyng that thy seruaunt for a time should outwardly be set at naught and inwardly to leane to thee And that he should bée despised in the fight of y e world and be broken with afflictioÌ„ that he may after arise with thee in a newe light and bee clarified and made glorious in the kyngdome of heauen O holy father thou hast ordeined it so to bee and it is doen as thou hast coÌ„mauÌ„ded This is thy grace o lorde to thy freinde to suffer hym to be troubled in this worlde for thy loue how ofteÌ„ soeuer it be and of what persone so euer it bée and in what maner so euer thou wilt suffer it to fall vnto him for without thy wil or sufferaunce what thing is doen vpoÌ„ the earth It is good to me O lorde that thou hast mekened me that I maie thereby learne to knowe thy righteous iudgementes and to put from me all maner of presumptioÌ„ and statelinesse of harte It is very profitable for me that confusion hath couered my face that I maie learne therby rather to seke to thee for help succor then to maÌ„ I haue thereby learned to dread thy secret and terrible iudgementes whiche scourgeste the righteous with the synner but not without equitie and iustice Lorde I yelde thankes to thee that thou haste not spared my synnes but haste punished me with scrourges of loue and hast sent me afflictioÌ„ and anguishes within and without No creature vnder heaueÌ„ maie comforte me but thou Lorde GOD the heauenly leache of mans soule which strikeste and healest whiche bryngest a manne nigh vnto death after restorest hym to life againe that he maie therby learne to knowe his owne weakenesse and imbesilitie and the more fullie to trust in thee Lorde Thy discipline is laied vppon me and thy rodde of correction hath taughte me and vnder that rod I wholie submit me Strike my backe and my bones as shall please thee and make me to bowe my croked will vnto thy will Make me a meeke and an humble disciple as thou hast somtime doen with me that I maie walke after thy wil. To thee I commit my self to bee corrected for better it is to bee corrected by thee here then in tyme to â—ome Thou knowest all thynges and nothyng is hid from thee that is in mannes conscience Thou knoweste all thynges to come before thei fall and it is not nedefull that any man teach thee or warne thée of any thing that is doen vpon the yearth Thou knowest what is profitable for me how muche tribulatioÌ„s helpen to purge awaie y e rust of synne in me Do with me after thy pleasure I am a sinfull wretche to none so well knowen as to thee Graunt me lorde that to knowe that is necessarie to be knowen that to loue that is to bee loued that to desire that pleaseth thée that to