happy an issue we are delivered and must applaud it or abide a contestation and expect a challenge The fairest paradoxes cannot pass without a contradiction it were strange if some as bold and forward wits as our own should not take up the gantlet now the fray is begun the multitude is divided sides are taken the world is in an uproare from skirmishes we grow to pitcht fields the Church bleeds on both parts and it were marvel if kingdoms could be free But that which most notably evinceth the deceitfulness of mans heart in this behalf is that this pride is too often lodged in those brests which are professedly devoted to a godly and mortified lowliness for as for those persons which are meer flesh they are carelesly indifferent to error or truth neither are at all moved with the success of either but the religious minde when it is once possessed with the conceit of some singular and important truth revealed to it and hid from the rest of the world is ready to say with the Samaritan Lepers I do not well this day is a day of good tidings and I hold my peace and therefore makes it matter of conscience to trouble the Church with a mis-grounded novelty Come we to the Test Let me ask these mis-guided souls that are no less confidently perswaded of their own humility then Truth Can it be any other then an height of pride for a man to think himself wiser then the whole Church of God upon earth wiser then the whole Church of God that hath been upon earth ever since the Apostles of Christ inclusively in all successions to this present time Can they without much pride think they can look deeper into the great mysteries of Godliness then those blessed attendants of our Saviour and their gracious successors the holy martyrs the godly and religious guides of Gods Church in all the following ages Had not they then the same God the same Scriptures the illuminations of the same Spirit Can they imagine it less then insolent to attribute more to their own private opinion then to the constant judgment and practise of the whole Christian world in all successions of Generations Can they suppose themselves in their single capacity though neither Prophets nor Prophets sons meet Judges or Questionists of those matters of Faith which the general Councils of the purer times have unanimously agreed upon as the main principles of Christianity can they think themselves priviledged by the liberty of prophesying to coyn new articles to deface old Surely if the hand of pride be not in all this I shall never desire to be acquainted with humility so as it is too plain that a man may be exceeding proudly and not know it this vicious habit lurks close in the soul and unless it discover it self by some scarce discernable effects which break out now and then especially upon occasions of opposition is rather more concealed from the owner then from the eyes of a stranger But if ever it bewrays it self in the affectation of undue eminence scornful under-valuation of others merits obstinacy in opinion sharpness of censures and impatience of contradiction Of all these the world is commonly no less guilty then all these are guilty of the common miseries Lord deliver us from our pride and our contentions will dye alone V What a strange praise and priviledge is that which is given to Enoch above all those generations of men that peopled the first world of whom the Spirit of God saies Enoch walked with God and he was not for God took him Doubtless amongst all those successive families of the sons of Seth there were many religious and well-affected souls yet there was no one of them that had this character set upon him that he walked with God but he Whether it were that God did in a more open and entire way reveal himself to that exemplary Saint or whether that holy man did in a more close and familiar fashion converse with the invisible Deity the presence was certain and the acknowledgment mutual neither was this walk short for a turn and away but constant and continual even for the space of three hundred years And what did the blessed man retire to some desart far from all humane society that he might enjoy this heavenly company alone Did he this-while cast off all secular thoughts and abdicate all the care of his family Neither this nor that for in this space wherein he walked with his God he both begat sons and daughters and bred them like the children of such a father as one that knew to make the world subordinate not opposite to it's maker and had learn'd to reconcile the use of the creature with the fruition of the Creator What then were the steps of this walk but pious thoughts heavenly affections fervent love reverential fear spiritual joy holy desires divine ravishments of spirit strict obediences assiduous devotions faithful affiances gracious ingagements firme resolutions and effectual indeavors of good and whatsoever might work a dearness of respect betwixt the soul and the God of Spirits O God that which thou promisedst as a reward to those few Saints of Sardis that had not defile their garments thou hast before hand fully performed to this eminent worthy of the first world he walked with thee in white in the white of innocence here and in the shining robes of glory above so thou hast told us He was not for God took him Lo being and good were wont to pass for convertible but here Enochs not-being is his blessedness he was not at all here that he might be perfectly above The best being on earth is but miserable even Enochs walk with God cannot exempt him from sorrows he must cease to be that he may begin to be happy He was then happy not for that he was not a meer privation of being can be no other then the worst of evils but for that God took him The God with whom he walkt so long upon earth takes him away from the earth to himself for eternity Here below though he walk't with God yet withall he conversed with sinful men whose wickedness could not but many a time vex his righteous soul now he is freed from all those spiritual annoyances enjoying onely the glorious presence and vision of the Divine majesty the blessed Angels and the Saints co-partners of the same immortality There can be no doubt but that the souls of his holy predecessors Adam Abel Seth returned to the God that gave them but had not Enoch been blessed with a peculiar conveiance to his glory it had not been said That God took him were onely the spirit of Enoch yeilded up in the way of an ordinary death the man had not been taken now whole Enoch body and soul is translated to an heavenly life His father Jared and his son Methuselah went to God in the common way of men by a separation of the spirit from the
we all lie down in our bed of earth as sure to wake as ever we can be to shut our eyes In and from thee O blessed Saviour is this our assurance who art the first fruits of them that sleep The first handfull of the first fruits was not presented for it self but for the whole field wherein it grew The vertue of that oblation extended it self to the whole crop Neither didst thou O blessed Jesu rise again for thy self only but the power and vertue of thy resurrection reaches to all thine so thy chosen Vessel tels us Christ the first fruits afterwards they that are Christs at his coming So as though the resurrection be of all the dead both just and unjust yet to rise by the power of thy resurrection is so proper to thine own as that thou O Saviour hast styled it the resurrection of the just whiles the rest shall be drag'd out of their graves by the power of thy God-head to their dreadful judgment Already therefore O Jesu are we risen in thee and as sure shall rise in our own persons The Loco-motive faculty is in the head Thou who art our head art risen we who are thy members must and shall follow Say then O my dying body say boldly unto Death Rejoyce not over me O mine enemy for though I fall yet I shall rise again Yea Lord the vertue of thy first fruits diffuseth it self not to our rising only but to a blessed immortality of these bodies of ours for as thou didst rise immortall and glorious so shall we by and with thee Who shalt change these vile bodies and make them like to thy glorious body The same power that could shake off death can put on glory and Majesty Lay thee down therefore O my body quietly and cheerfully and look to rise in another hue Thou art sown in corruption thou shalt be raised in incorruption thou art sown in dishonour thou shalt be raised in glory thou art sown in weaknesse but shalt be raised in power XXXVI In this life in this death of the body O Lord I see there are no degrees though differences of time The man that dyed yesterday is as truly dead as Abel the first man that dyed in the world and Methuselah that lived nine hundred sixty nine years did not more truly live then the childe that did but salute and leave the world but in the life to come and the second death there are degrees degrees of blessedness to the glorified degrees of torments to the damned the least whereof is unspeakable unconceivable Oh thou that art the Lord of life and death keep my soul from those steps that go down to the chambers of death and once set it for higher I dare not sue to go but over the threshold of glory and blessedness XXXVII O Lord my God I am as very a Pilgrime as ever walked upon thy earth Why should I look to be in any better condition then my neighbours then my forefathers Even the best of them that were most fixed upon their inheritance were no other then strangers at home It was not in the power of the world to naturalize them much less to make them enroll themselves free-Denizons here below they knew their country which they sought was above so infinitely rich and pleasant that these earthly regions which they must pass thorough are in comparison worthy of nothing but contempt My condition is no other then theirs I wander here in a strange country What wonder is it if I meet with forrainers fare hard usage and neglect Why do I intermeddle with the affaires of a nation that is not mine Why do I clog my self in my way with the base and heavy lumber of the world Why are not my affections homeward Why do I not long to see and enjoy my fathers house O my God thou that hast put me into the state of a Pilgrim give me a Pilgrims heart set me off from this wretched world wherein I am let me hate to think of dwelling here Let it be my only care how to pass through this miserable wilderness to the promised land of a blessed eternitie XXXVIII One Talent at the least O Lord hast thou put into my hand and that sum is great to him that is not worth a dram but alas what have I done with it I confess I have not hid it in a napkin but have been laying it out to some poor advantage yet surely the gain is so unanswerable that I am afraid of an Audit I see none of the approved servants in the Gospel brought in an increase of less value then the receit I fear I shall come short of the sum O thou who justly holdest thy self wronged with the style of an austere master vouchsafe to accept of my so mean improvement and thou who valuedst the poor widows mites above the rich gifts cast into thy Treasurie be pleased to allow of those few pounds that my weak indevors could raise from thy stock and mercifully reward thy servant not according to his success but according to his true intentions of glorifying thee XXXIX What a word is this which I hear from thee O Saviour Behold I stand at the doore and knock Thou which art the Lord of life God blessed for ever to stand and knock at the door of a sinful heart Oh what a praise is this of thy mercy and long suffering What a shame to our dull neglect and graceless ingratitude For a David to say I waited patiently upon the Lord Truly my soul waiteth upon God it is but meet and comely for it is no other then the duty of the greatest Monarchs on earth yea of the highest Angels in Heaven to attend their Maker but for thee the great God of Heaven to wait at the door of us sinful dust and ashes what a condescension is this what a longanimity It were our happiness O Lord if upon our greatest suit and importunity we might have the favor to entertain thee into our hearts but that thou shouldst importune us to admit thee and shouldst wait at the posts of our doors till thine head be filled with dew and thy locks with the drops of the night it is such a mercy as there is not room enough in our souls to wonder at In the mean time what shall I say to our wretched unthankfulnes and impious negligence Thou hast graciously invited us to thee and hast said knock and it shall be opened and yet thou continuest knocking at our doors and we open not willingly delaying to let in our happiness we know how easie it were for thee to break open the brasen doors of our brests and to come in but the Kingdome of Heaven suffers not violence from thee though it should suffer it from us Thou wilt do all thy works in a sweet and gracious way as one who will not force but win love Lord I cannot open unless thou that
beneficial a thing is affliction especially to some dispositions more then other I see some trees that will not thrive unless their roots be laid bare unless besides pruning their bodies be gashed and sliced others that are too luxuriant except divers of their blossoms be seasonably pulld off yield nothing I see too rank corn if it be not timely eaten down may yield something to the barn but little to the granary I see some full bodies that can enjoy no health without strong evacuations blood-lettings fontinels such is the condition of our spiritual part It is a rare soul that can be kept in any constant order without these smarting remedies I confess mine cannot How wilde had I run if the rod had not been over me Every man can say he thanks God for ease for me I bless God for my troubles XXII When I consider what an insensible Atome man is in comparison of the whole body of the Earth and what a meer Center-point the Earth is in comparison of the vast circumference of Heaven and what an almost-infinite distance there is betwixt this point of Earth and that large circle of the Firmament and therewithal think of the innumerable number and immense greatness of those heavenly Luminaries I cannot but apprehend how improbable it is that those Stars should at such a distance distinguish betwixt one man and another betwixt one limb of the same body and another betwixt one spot of Earth and another and in so great a mixture and confusion of influences should give any distinct intimation of particular events in nature and much more of meer contingencies of arbitrary affairs As for the Moon by reason of her vicinity to the Earth and sensible predominance over moysture and for the Sun the great magazin of Light and Heat I acknowledg their powerful but unpartial operations upon this whole globe of Earth and Waters and every part of it not without just wonder and astonishment the other Stars may have their several vertues and effects but their marvelous remoteness and my undiscernable nothingness may seem to forbid any certain intelligence of their distinct workings upon me But whether these glorious Lights give or take any notice of such an imperceptible mite as I sure I am there is great reason I should take notice of them of their beauteous lustre of their wonderful magnitude of their regular motion and be transported with admiration of that omnipotent power wisdom providence which created this goodly and mighty host of Heaven and guides them in their constant march without the least deviation from their first setting out to the last moment of their final conflagration O the narrowness of my wretched heart that affords not room enough for wonder at that which I cannot but see XXIII It becomes not us to be niggardly where our Saviour intends bounty How glad should we be rather to ampliate the benefit of the great Work of our Redeemer but surely I cannot see upon what warrant that favor is grounded that enlargeth the fruit of Christs redemption to the Angels the good needed it not the evil were not capable of it onely mankinde was captiv'd and redeemable by that invaluable ransom Doubtless those blessed Spirits have their part in the joy and gratulation of the infinite mercy of our deliverance for if they rejoyce at the conversion of one sinner what triumph do we think there is in Heaven at the Universal Redemption of all beleevers The propriety of this favor hath reason to ingage us so much the more Lord thy mercy is free and boundless thou wouldst pass by the lapsed Angels and leave them in their sin and their chains and onely rescue miserable man out of their Hell O for an heart that might be in some measure answerable to so infinite mercy and that might be no less captiv'd to thy love then it is freed by thy Redemption XXIIII Men do commonly wrong themselves with a groundless expectation of good fore-promising to themselves all fair terms in their proceedings and all happy success in the issue boding nothing to themselves but what they wish even the man after Gods own heart could say In my prosperity I said tush I shall never be removed wherein their misreckoning makes their disappointment so much the more grievous Had not David made such account of the strength and stability of his Mountain it could not have so much troubled him to have it levell'd with the Plain on the contrary the evils which we look for fall so much the less heavily by how much we are fore-prepared for their entertainment what ever by-accidents I may meet withal besides I have two fixed matches that I must inevitably incounter with Age and Death the one is attended with many inconveniences the other with much horror let me not flatter my self with hopes of jollity and ease My comforts for Heaven shall I trust never fail me but for the present world it shall be well for me if I can without too much difficulty scramble out of the necessary miseries of life and without too much sorrow crawl to my grave XXV Heaven hath many tongues that talk of it more eyes to behold it but few hearts that rightly affect it Ask any Christian especially whom ye shall meet with he will tell you thither he shapes his course there he hath pitcht his hopes and would think himself highly wronged by that man who should make doubt of either his interest or speed But if we shall cast our eyes upon the lives of men or they reflect their eyes upon their own bosomes the hypocrisie will too palpably discover it self for surely which way so ever the faces look the hands and feet of the most men move hell-ward If malice fraud cruelty oppression injustice excess uncleanness pride contention covetousness lyes heresies blasphemies disobedience be the way thither wo is me how many walk in that wide and open road to destruction but even there where the heart pretends to innocence let a man strictly examine his own affections he shall finde them so deeply earthed that he shall be forced to confess his claim to Heaven is but fashionable Ask thy self but this one question O man whatsoever thou art ask it seriously Might I this very hour go to Heaven am I willing and desirous to make a present change of this life for a better and tell me sincerely what answer thou receivest from thine own heart Thy judgment cannot but tell thee that the place is a thousand times better that the condition would be infinitely advantageous to exchange baseness for glory misery for blessedness time for eternity a living death for a life immortal If thou do now fumble and shuffle and demur upon the resolution be convinced of thine own worldliness and infidelity and know that if thy heart had as much of Heaven as thy tongue thou couldst not but say with the chosen vessel I desire to depart hence and to be with Christ which is
St. James is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust and enticed then when lust hath conceived it bringeth forth sin and sin when it is finished bringeth forth death Lo both the lust and the seducement are our own the sin is ours the death ours There are indeed diabolical suggestions which are immediatly cast into us by that wicked one but there are carnal tentations that are raised out of our own corrupt nature these need not his immediate hand he was the maine agent in our depravation but being once depraved we can act evil of our selves And if Satan be the father of sin our will is the mother and sin is the cursed issue of both He could not make our sin without our selves we concur to our own undoing It was the charge of the Apostle That we should not give place to the Devil Lo he could not take it unless we gave it our will betrays us to his tyranny in vain shall we cry out of the malice and fraud of wicked spirits whiles we nourish their complices in our bosomes XXXVI I cannot but think with what unspeakable joy old Simeon dyed when after long waiting for the consolation of Israel he had now seen the Lords Christ when I hear him say Lord now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace according to thy word for mine eyes have seen thy salvation Methinks I should see his soul ready to flie out of his mouth in an heavenly ravishment and even then upon its wing towards its glory for now his eyes saw and his arms embraced in Gods salvation his own in Israels glory his own How gladly doth he now see death when he hath the Lord of life in his bosome or how can he wish to close up his eyes with any other object yet when I have seriously considered it I cannot see wherein our condition comes short of his He saw the childe Jesus but in his swathing-bands when he was but now entering upon the great work of our redemption we see him after the full accomplishment of it gloriously triumphing in Heaven He saw him but buckling on his armor and entring into the lists we see him victorious Who is this that cometh from Edom with dyed garments from Bozra this that is glorious in his apparel traveling in the greatness of his strength mighty to save He could onely say To us a childe is born to us a son is given We can say Thou hast ascended on high thou hast led captivity captive thou hast received gifts for men It is true the difference is he saw his Saviour with bodily eyes we with mental but the eyes of our Faith are no less sure and unfailing then those of Sense Lord why should not I whose eyes have no less seen thy salvation say Now let thy servant depart not in peace onely but in a joyful sence of my instant glory XXXVII When I think on my Saviour in his agony and on his cross my soul is so clouded with sorrow as if it would never be clear again those bloody drops and those dreadful ejulations methinks should be past all reach of comfort but when I see his happy eluctation out of these pangs and hear him cheerfully rendring his spirit into the hands of his Father when I finde him trampling upon his grave attended with glorious Angels and ascending in the chariot of a cloud to his Heaven I am so elevated with joy as that I seem to have forgotten there was ever any cause of greif in those sufferings I could be passionate to think O Saviour of thy bitter and and ignominious death and most of all of thy vehement struglings with thy fathers wrath for my sake but thy conquest and glory takes me off and calls me to Hallelujahs of joy and triumph Blessing honor glory and power be unto him that sitteth upon the Throne and unto the Lamb for ever and ever XXXVIII It is not hard to observe that the more holy any person is the more he is afflicted with others sin Lot vexed his righteous soul with the unclean conversation of the Sodomites Davids eyes gush't out rivers of water because men kept not the Law Those that can look with dry and undispleased eyes upon anothers sin never truly mourned for their own Had they abhorred sin as sin the offence of a God would have been grievous to them in whomsoever It is a godless heart that doth not finde it self concerned in Gods quarrel and that can laugh at that which the God of Heaven frowns at my soul is nearest to me my sorrow therefore for my sin must begin at home but it may not rest there from thence it shall diffuse it self all the world over Who is offended and I burn not who offendeth and I weep not XXXIX The world little considers the good advantage that is made of sins surely the whole Church of God hath reason to bless God for Thomas his unbelief not in the act which was odious after so good assurances but in the issue his doubt proves our evidence and his confession after his touch had convinced him was more noble then his incredulity was shameful All his attendance upon Christ had not taught him so much divinity as this one touch Often had he said my Lord but never my God till now Even Peters confession though rewarded with the change of his name came short of this The flame that is beaten down by the blast of the bellowes rises higher then otherwise it would and the spring water that runs level in the Plain yet if it fall low it will therefore rise high the shaken tree roots the deeper Not that we should sin that grace may abound God forbid he can never hope to be good that will be therefore ill that he may be the better but that our holy zeal should labor to improve our miscarriages to our spiritual gain and the greater glory of that Majesty whom we have offended To be bettered by grace it is no mastery but to raise more holiness out of sin is a noble imitation of that holy God who brings light out of darkness life out of death XL. Every man best knows his own complaints we look upon the outsides of many whom we think happy who in the meane time are secretly wrung with the inward sense of their own concealed sorrows and under a smooth and calm countenance smother many a tempest in their bosome There are those whose faces smile whiles their conscience gripes them closely within There are those that can dissemble their poverty and domestick vexations reserving their sighs till their back be turned that can pick their teeth abroad when they are fasting and hungry at home and many a one forces a song when his heart is heavy No doubt Naomi made many a short meal after her return to Bethlehem yet did not whine to her great kinred in a bemoaning of her want And good Hannah bit in many a grief
any calamity that may befal them in their estates children husbands wives friends so as they can say with Solomons drunkard They have stricken me and I was not sick they have beaten me but I felt it not These are dead flesh which do no more feel the knife then if it did not at all enter for whom some corrosives are necessary to make them capable of smart This disposition though it seem to carry a face of Fortitude and Patience yet is justly offensive and not a little injurious both to God and the soul To God whom it indeavors to frustrate of those holy ends which he proposeth to himself in our sufferings for wherefore doth he afflict us if he would not have us afflicted wherefore doth the father whip the childe but that he would have him smart and by smarting bettered he looks for cryes and tears and the childe that weeps not under the rod is held graceless To the soul whom it robs of the benefit of our suffering for what use can there be of patience where there is no sence of evil and how can patience have its perfect work where it is not Betwixt both these extreams if we would have our souls prosper a mid-disposition must be attained we must be so sensible of evils that we be not stupified with them and so reâ—olute under our crosses that we may be truly sensible of them not so brawned under the rod that we should not feel it nor yet so tender that we should over-feel it not more patient under the stripe then willing to kiss the hand that inflicts it LXIV God as he is one so he loves singleness and simplicity in the inward parts as therefore he hath been pleased to give us those sences double whereby we might let in for our selves as our eyes and ears and those limbs double whereby we might act for our selves as our hands and feet so those which he would appropriate to himself as our hearts for beleef and our tongue for confession he hath given us single neither did he ever ordain or can abide two hearts in a bosome two tongues in one mouth It is then the hateful stile which the Spirit of God gives to an hypocrite that he is double-minded In the language of Gods Spirit a fool hath no heart and a dissembler hath an heart and an heart and surely as a man that hath two heads is a monster in nature so he that hath two hearts is no less a spiritual monster to God For the holy and wise God hath made one for one One minde or soul for one body And if the regenerate man have two men in one the old man and the new yet it is so as that one is flesh the other spirit the minde then is not double but the law of the mind is opposed to the law of the flesh so as here are strivings in one heart not the sidings of two for surely the God of unity can neither indure multiplication nor division of hearts in one brest If then we have one heart for God another for Mammon we may be sure God will not own this latter how should he for he made it not Yea most justly will he disclaim both since that which he made was but one this double And as the wise man hath told us That God hates nothing which he hath made so may we truly say God hateth whatsoever he made not since what he made not is onely evil When I have done my best I shall have but a weak and a faulty heart but Lord let it be but a single one Search me O God and know my heart try me and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting LXV There is a kinde of not-being in sin for sin is not an existence of somewhat that is but a deficiency of that rectitude which should be it is a privation but not without a real mischief as blindness is but a privation of sight but a true misery Now a privation cannot stand alone it must have some subject to lean upon there is no blindness but where there is an eye no death but where there hath been a life sin therefore supposes a soul wherein it is and an act whereto it cleaveth and those acts of sin are they which the Apostle calls the works of darkness So as there is a kinde of operosity in sin in regard whereof sinners are stiled The workers of iniquity And surely there are sins wherein there is more toyl and labor then in the holiest actions What pains and care doth the theef take in setting his match in watching for his prey How doth he spend the darkest and coldest nights in the execution of his plot What fears what flights what hazards what shifts are here to avoyd notice and punishment The adulterer says That stoln waters are sweet but that sweet is sauced to him with many careful thoughts with many deadly dangers The superstitious bygot who is himself besotted with error how doth he traverse Sea and land to make a Proselyte What adventures doth he make what perils doth he run what deaths doth he challenge to mar a soul So as some men take more pains to go to Hell then some others do to go to Heaven O the sottishness of sinners that with a temporary misery will needs purchase an eternal How should we think no pains sufficient for the attaining of Heaven when we see wretched men toyl so much for damnation LXVI With what elegance and force doth the holy Ghost express our Saviours leaving of the world which he cals his taking home again or his receiving up In the former implying That the Son of God was for the time sent out of his Fathers house to these lower regions of his exile or pilgrimage and was now re-admitted into those his glorious mansions In the latter so intimating his triumphant ascension that he passeth over his bitter passion Surely he was to take death in his way so he told his Disciples in the walk to Emaus Ought not Christ to suffer these things and to enter into his glory He must be lifted up to the Cross ere his Ascension to Heaven but as if the thought of death were swallowed up in the blessed issue of his death here is no mention of ought but his assumption Lo death truly swallowed up in victory Neither is it otherwise proportionally with us wholly so it cannot be for as for him Death did but taste of him could not devour him much less put him over It could not but yield him whole entire the third day without any impairing of his nature yea with an happy addition to it of a glorious immortality and in that glorified humanity he ascended by his own Power into his Heaven For us we must be content that one part of us lye rotting for the time in the dust whiles our spiritual part shall
Faith perswades me to the latter telling me that To dye is gain Now whether of these two shall prevail with me Certainly as each of them hath a share in me so shall either of them act its own part in my soul Nature shall obtain so much of me as to fetch from me upon the suddain apprehension of death some thoughts of fear Faith shall strait step in and drive away all those weak fears and raise up my heart to a cheerful expectation of so gainful and happy a change Nature shews me the gastliness of death Faith shews me the transcendency of Heavenly glory Nature represents to me a rotten carkase Faith presents me with a glorious soul Shortly nature startles at the sight of death Faith out-faces and overcomes it so then I who at the first blush could say O Death how bitter is thy remembrance can now upon my deliberate thoughts say I desire to depart and to be with Christ LXXXIIII In the carriage of our holy profession God can neither abide us cowardly nor indiscreet The same mouth that bad us when we are persecuted in one city flee into another said also he that will save his life shall loose it we may neither cloak cowardice with a pretended discretion nor lose our discretion in a rash courage He that is most skilful and most valiant may in his combat traverse his ground for an advantage and the stoutest Commander may fall flat to avoyd a Cannon-shot True Christian wisdom and not carnal fear is that wherewith we must consult for advice when to stand to it and when to give back On the one side he dies honorably that falls in Gods quarrel on the other he that flies may fight again Even our blessed leader that came purposely to give his life for the world yet when he found that he was laid for in Judea flees into Galilce The practise of some Primitive Christians that in an ambition of martyrdom went to seek out and chalenge dangers and death is more worthy of our wonder and applause then our imitation It shall be my resolution to be warily thrifty in managing my life when God offers me no just cause of hazard and to be willingly profuse of my blood when it is called for by that Saviour who was not sparing of shedding his most precious blood for me LXXXV He had need to be well under-laid that knows how to entertain the time and himself with his own thoughts Company variety of imployments or recreations may wear out the day with the emptiest hearts but when a man hath no society but of himself no task to set himself upon but what arises from his own bosome surely if he have not a good stock of former notions or an inward mint of new he shall soon run out of all and as some forlorn bankrupt grow weary of himself Hereupon it is that men of barren and unexercised hearts can no more live without company then fish out of the water And those Heremites and other Votaries which professing onely devotion have no mental abilities to set themselves on work are fain to tire themselves and their unwelcome hours with the perpetual repetitions of the same orisons which are now grown to a tedious and heartless formality Those contemplative spirits that are furnished with gracious abilities and got into acquaintance with the God of Heaven may and can lead a life even in the closest restraint or wildest solitariness neerest to Angelical but those which neither can have Maries heart nor will have Marthaes hand must needs be unprofitable to others and wearisome to themselves LXXXVI There is nothing more easie then to be a Christian at large but the beginnings of a strict and serious Christianity are not without much difficulty for nature affects a loose kinde of liberty which it cannot indure to have restrained neither fares it otherwise with it then with some wilde colt which at the first taking up flings and plunges and will stand on no ground but after it hath been somwhile disciplin'd at the Post is grown tractable and quietly submits either to the saddle or the collar The first is the worst afterwards that which was tolerable will prove easie and that which was easie will be found pleasant For in true practical Christianity there is a more kindly and better liberty Standfast saith the Apostle in that liberty wherewith Christ hath made you free Lo here a liberty of Christs making and therefore both just and excellent for what other is this liberty then a freedome as from the tyranny of the law so from the bondage of sin Being then made free from sin saith Saint Paul ye became the servants of righteousness Here are two masters under one of which every soul must serve either sin or righteousness if we be free from the one we are bond-men to the other we say truly the service of God that is of righteousness is perfect freedom but to be free to sin is a perfect bondage and to serve sin is no other then a vassallage to the devil From this bondage Christ onely can free us If the Son shall make you free yee shall be free indeed and we are no Christians unless we be thus freed and being thus freed we shall rejoyce in the pleasant fetters of our voluntary and cheereful obedience to righteousness neither would we for a world return to those gieves and manacles of sin which we once beld our most dear and comely ornaments and can truly say Thou hast set my feet in a large room I will walk at liberty for I seek thy precepts LXXXVII I cannot but pity and lament the condition of those Christians who for the hope of a little earthly dross do willingly put themselves for a continuance out of the pale of Gods Church What do they else but cast themselves quite out of the Almighties protection who hath not bound himself to follow them out of his own walks or to seek them out amongst Turks and Infidels well may he say to them as to the chief Pastor of Pergamus I know thy works and where thou dwellest even where Satans seat is but have they any reason to expect that he should dwell with them there under the raign of that Prince of darkness These men put upon themselves that hard measure which the man after Gods own heart complains to be put upon him by his worst enemies Wo is me that I am constrained to dwell with Meshech and to have my habitation in the Tents of Kedar That holy man could in the bitterness of his soul inveigh against his persecutors for no other terms then these men offer to themselves Cursed be they before the Lord for they have driven me out this day from abiding in the inheritance of the Lord saying go serve other gods I speak not of those who carry God along with them in his ordinance all earths are alike to us where we may
with the desire of them and let that desire never finde it self filled XXIX How comfortable a style is that O God which thine Apostle gives to thine Heaven whiles he cals it the inheritance of the Saints in light None can come there but Saints the roomes of this lower world are taken up commonly with wicked men with beasts with Devils but into that heavenly Jerusalem no unholy thing can enter Neither can any Saint be excluded thence each of them have not only a share but an entire right to thy glory And how many just titles are there O Saviour to that region of blessedness It is thy Fathers gift it is thy purchase it is thy Saints inheritance theirs only in thy right by thy gracious adoption they are sons and as sons heires co-heirs with thee of that blessed Patrimony so feoffed upon them so possessed of them that they can never be disseized And Lord how glorious an inheritance it is An inheritance in light In light incomprehensible in light inaccessible Lo the most spirituall of all thy visible creatures is light and yet this light is but the effect and emanation of one of thy creatures the Sun and serves only for the illumination of this visible world but that supernal light is from the Al-glorious beams of thy Divine Majesty diffusing themselves to those blessed spirits both Angels and Souls of thy Saints who live in the joyful fruition of thee to all eternity Alas Lord we do here dwell in darkness and under an uncomfortable opacity whiles thy face is clouded from us with manifold temptations there above with thee is pure light a constant noon-tide of glory I am here under a miserable and obscure wardship Oh teach me to despise the best of earth and ravish my soul with a longing desire of being possessed of that blessed inheritance of the Saints in light XXX What outward blessing can be sweeter then civill peace What judgment more heavy then that of the sword Yet O Saviour there is a peace which thou disclaimest and there is a sword which thou challengest to bring Peace with our corruptions is warr against thee and that war in our bosomes wherein the spirit fighteth against the flesh is peace with thee O let thy good Spirit raise and foment this holy and intestine war more and more within me And as for my outward spirituall enemies how can there be a victory without war and how can I hope for a crown without victory O do thou ever gird me with strength to the battle inable thou me to resist unto bloud make me faithfull to the death that thou maist give me the crown of life XXXI O Lord God how subject is this wretched heart of mine to repining and discontentment If it may not have what it would how ready it is like a froward child to throw away what it hath I know and feel this to be out of that naturall pride which is so deep rooted in me for could I be sensible enough of my own unworthinesse I should think every thing too good every thing too much for me my very being O Lord is more then I am ever able to answer thee and how could I deserve it when I was not but that I have any helps of my wel-beeing here or hopes and means of my being glorious hereafter how far is it beyond the reach of my soul Lord let me finde my own nothingness so shall I be thankfull for a little and in my very want blesse thee XXXII Where art thou O my God whither hast thou withdrawn thy self it is not long since I found thy comfortable presence with my soul now I misse thee and mourn and languish for thee Nay rather where art thou O my soul my God is where he was neither can be any other then himself the change is in thee whose inconstant disposition varies continually and cannot finde it self fixed upon so blessed an object It will never be better with me O my God until it shall please thee to stablish my heart with thy free Spirit and to keep it close to thee that it may not be carried away with vain distractions with sinful temptations Lord my God as thou art alwaies present with me and canst no more be absent then not be thy self so let me be alwaies with thee in an humble and faithful acknowledgment of thy presence as I can never be out of thine all-seeing eye so let mine eyes be ever bent upon thee who art invisible Thou that hast given me eyes improve them to thy glorie and my happiness XXXIII My bosome O Lord is a Rebeccaes womb there are twins striving within it a Jacob and Esau the old man and the new whiles I was in the barren state of my unregeneration all was quiet within me now this strife is both troublesome and paineful so as nature is ready to say If it be so why am I thus But withal O my God I bless thee for this happy unquietness for I know there is just cause of comfort in these inward struglings my soul is now not unfruitful and is conceived with an holy seed which wrestles with my natural corruptions and if my Esau have got the start in the priority of time yet my Jacob shall follow him hard at the heele and happily supplant him And though I must nourish them both as mine yet I can through thy grace imitate thy choice and say with thee Jacob have I loved and Esau have I hated Blessed God make thou that word of thine good in me That the elder shall serve the younger XXXIV Alas my Lord God how small matters trouble me every petty occurrence is ready to rob me of my peace so as me thinks I am like some little cock-boat in a rough Sea which every billow topples up and down and threats to sink I can chide this weak pusillanimity in my self but it is thou that must redress it Lord work my heart to so firme a setledness upon thee that it may never be shaken no not with the violent gusts of temptation much lesse with the easie gales of secular mis-accidents Even when I am hardest pressed in the multitude of the sorrows of my heart let thy comforts refresh my soul but for these sleight crosses oh teach me to despise them as not worthy of my notice much less of my vexation Let my heart be taken up with thee and then what care I whether the world smile or frown XXXV What a comfort it is O Saviour that thou art the first fruits of them that sleep Those that die in thee do but sleep Thou saidst so once of thy Lazarus and maist say so of him again he doth but sleep still His first sleep was but short this latter though longer is no less true out of which he shall no less surely awake at thy second call then he did before at thy first His first sleep and waking was singular this latter is the same with ours
flesh but for him God took him and cloathed him living with immortality I finde none but him and Elijah that were thus fetcht to their Heaven It will be happy for us if we may pass in the common road to blessedness O God give me to walk close and constantly with thee and what end thou pleasest let my body pass through all the degrees of corruption so that my soul may be immediately glorious FINIS THE BREATHINGS OF THE Devout Soul I. BLessed Lord God thou callest me to obedience and fain would I follow thee but what good can this wretched heart of mine be capable of except thou put it there thou know'st I cannot so much as wish to think well without thee I have strong powers to offend thee my sins are my own but whence should I have any inclination to good but from thee who art only and all good Lord work me to what thou requirest and then require what thou wilt II. Lord God whither need I go to seek thee Thou art so with me as that I cannot move but in thee I look up to heaven there I know thy Majestie most manifests it self but withall I know that being here thou art never out of thy heaven for it is thy presence onely that makes heaven Oh give me to enjoy thee in this lowest region of thine heavenly habitation and as in respect of my naturall being I live and move in thee so let me not live and move spiritually but with thee and to thee III. Whither now O whither do ye rove O my thoughts Can ye hope to finde rest in any of these sublunary contentments Alas how can they yeeld any stay to you that have no settlement in themselves Is there not enough in the infinite good to take you up but that ye will be wandring after earthly vanities Oh my Lord how justly mightest thou cast me off with scorn for casting any affective glances upon so base a rival Truly Lord I am ashamed of this my hatefull inconstancy but it is thou only that must remedy it O thou that art the father of mercies pity my wildnesse and weak distractions Take thou my heart to thee it is thine own keep it with thee tye it close to thee by the cords of love that it may not so much as cast down an eye upon this wretched and perishing world IIII. Lord I confesse to my shame thou art a great loser by me for besides my not improving of thy favors I have not kept even-reckonings with thee I have not justly tallied up thy inestimable benefits Thy very privative mercies are both without and beyond my account for every evill that I am free from is a new blessing from thee That I am out of bondage that I am out of pain and misery that I am out of the dominion of sin out of the tyranny of Satan out of the agonies of an afflicted soul out of the torments of hell Lord how unspeakeable mercies are these Yet when did I bless thee for any of them Thy positive bounties I can feel but with a benummed and imperfect sence Lord do thou enlarge and intenerate my heart make me truly sensible as of my good received so of my escaped evils and take thou to thy self the glory of them both V. Ah my Lord God what heats and colds do I feel in my soul Sometimes I finde my self so vigorous in grace that no thought of doubt dare shew it self and me thinks I durst challenge my hellish enemies another while I feel my self so dejected and heartlesse as if I had no interest in the God of my salvation nor never had received any certain pledges of his favour What shall I say to this various disposition Whether Lord is it my wretchednesse to suffer my self to be rob'd of thee for the time by temptation or whether is this the course of thy proceedings in the dispensation of thy graces to the sons of men that thou wilt have the breathings of thy Spirit as where so how and when thou pleasest Surely O my God if I did not know thee constant to thine everlasting mercies I should be utterly disheartened with these sad intervals now when my sense failes me I make use of my faith and am no lesse sure of thee even when I feel thee not then when I finde the clearest evidences of thy gracious presence Lord shine upon me with the light of thy countenance if it may be alwaies but when ever that is clouded strengthen thou my faith so shall I be safe even when I am comfortless VI. O my God I am justly ashamed to think what favors I have received from thee and what poor returns I have made to thee Truly Lord I must needs say thou hast thought nothing either in earth or in heaven too good for me and I on the other side have grudg'd thee that weak and worthless obedience which thou hast required of me Alas what pleasure could I have done to thee who art infinite if I had sacrificed my whole self to thee as thou commandest Thou art and wilt be thy self though the world were not it is I I only that could be a gainer by this happy match which in my own wrong I have unthankfully neglected I see it is not so much what we have as how we imploy it O thou that hast been so bountiful in heaping thy rich mercies upon me vouchsafe to grant me yet one gift more give me grace and power to improve all thy gifts to the glory of the giver otherwise it had been better for me to have been poor then ingrateful VII Ah Lord What strugling have I with my weak fears how do I anticipate my evils by distrust What shall I do when I am old How shall I be able to indure pain How shall I pass through the horrid gates of death Oh my God Where is my faith that I am thus surprized Had I not thee to up-hold and strengthen my soul well might I tremble and sink under these cares but now that I have the assurance of so strong an helper as commands all the powers of heaven earth and hell what a shame is it for me to give so much way to my wretched infidelity as to punish my self with the expectation of future evils Oh for the victorie that overcomes the world even our faith Thou O God art my refuge and strength a very present help in trouble therefore will I not fear though the earth be removed and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the Sea VIII Lord I made account my daies should have been but an inch but thou hast made them a span long having drawn out the length of a crazie life beyond the period of my hopes It is for something sure that thou hast thus long respited me from my grave which look't for me many years ago Here I am O my God attending thy good pleasure Thou know'st best what thou hast to do