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A20073 The Owles almanacke prognosticating many strange accidents which shall happen to this kingdome of Great Britaine this yeere, 1618 : calculated as well for the meridian mirth of London, as any other part of Great Britaine : found in an Iuy-bush written in old characters / and now published in English by the painefull labours of Mr. Iocundary Merry-braines. Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632.; L. L.; Merry-braines, Jocundary. 1618 (1618) STC 6515.5; ESTC S1881 45,434 66

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he his grazing and thus began he his indictment Calling to minde the preiudice that this fire-filcher had done him how that now such craft had sunke into the braines of man such rape and auarice into his heart that poore Rammes could no more sleepe in their golden fleeces whereas before that time their wollen coates were neuer in feare or danger of cutting out by the cruelty of fire-molded mettali their tender lambes were neuer taken from their uberous sides their bloud was neuer tainted in the Parliament of Wolues nor had the Fox that crafty noddle of his owne to play the bloud-sucker amongst their flockes This tale being bleated out and heard this cornuted husband of the Sheepes-heads fetching a feeze backeward like the Roman Ram to push forward with the more violent and villanous force ran with all his horniferous strength at the poore Fire-fellon and stroke his brow-butters full in Promotheus forehead that the very print remaineth in his front and doth still in some of his race to this day yea such was the violence of the blow that it hath caused a wrinkled brow in all his progeny Ioue stood by in a cloud beholding the courage of the Ram which after he had applauded with his pleasing lookes he placed him on the chained head to vex his pate for euer as the Head-signe at which hung his fury Taurus the Bull. BVt casting his eye aside behold came Taurus vp the hill with roaring throat sweating like a Bull as he was bellowing out in behalfe of all his beastly kinred that by Prometheus meanes his soule and body was brought into danger For the inuention of the sythe which mowed downe the grasse from his hungry paunch the iron chaine that restrained his grinders from hewing vp the blades were by the helpe of fire first framed Nay the Butcher had all the instruments of death from this theft of his The goad that spurres his slownesse forward and the boldnesse of man that durst encounter such a masse of flesh first fetcht their originall from this Act of his These speeches with a bull-beefe countenance being vttered for he was like Aiax more warrior than Orator he ran at this Bellowes-maker whose filching was the first inuenter of kindling fire with such a roaring and bellowing violence that goaring his theeuish necke he almost doubly nailed it to the stake Ioue clapt the Bull on the flankes as a Beareward doth the Bull at Paris-garden in a great day of bayting and was glad to see Iustice whose sword is put into the hands of Fooles and Coxcombes vpon earth to be so nobly and stoutly executed on a villaine by a creature meerely irrationall Gemini The Twinnes YEa the thunder-darting god laughes so loud that the eccho of that noise euen shooke the palace celestiall but before the wrinkles of his cheekes were made smooth againe Ioue fed his eyes with the sight of two Twins called Gemini hand in hand approching this condemned Miscreant The teares sell in sweet showers from their eyes sometimes trickling downe their tender cheekes anon those balls of light swimming onely in circles of water like two Ilands incompassed about with a paire of Riuers So stood they gazing and greeuing to behold that Ar●…-pyrate their tormented enemy whose punishment in heart they wished to be doubled as were their bodies Destiny had giuen them more woes than words but Nature was so good a schoole mistris to them that they could without booke rehearse their owne misfortunes Who thou art quoth the Gemini with feeble voices we cannot tell knowne onely art thou vnto vs as a fatall tree vpon which growes all our miseries Thou didst first reueale the vse of fire to man teaching him since how to feede and foster it continually and by that mysterie opened to him the way to our vndoing It was thy wit and worke to set the world at warres by the fire of Dissention and the burning coles of Ambition and to that end Smiths Gun-makers Speare-makers and such like hard-handed fellowes haue beene a long time thy slaues and prentises night and day hammering from the Mardrons anuile kniues ponyards steelettoes swords bills pollaxes canons culuerins sacres muskets petronels and pistolls to feede whose insatiable sulphurous and deuouring fire spitting mouthes that black-meale of hell Gunpouder hath likewise beene inuented It was long of thee that our Parents were slaine that our States were ouerthrowne and all misfortunes fell vpon vs. Two wee are to one yet our force is but small and the stroake of our reuenge but feeble Yet to prooue that there is spleene euen in poore flies and to shew a loue to our Parents we will in scorne of thee bestride thy shoulders and there with the horrid noyse of our wrongs so lug thee by the eares with our nayles and so torment thy hearing that thou shalt wish to be burnt in tenne thousand bon-fires for filching that handfull of fire from heauen rather than be tortured by two such cruell Hangmen as we shall proue to thee This threatned-sentence tooke place vpon his shoulders they mounted Prometheus both patient and speachlesse enduring their bauling exclamations whose scolding day and night grew to be so loude and the barking so intollerable that the Head of man and his Eares laide their noddles together taking counsell of the braine how to preuent the shaking downe and vtter-ruine of the capitall building by such an euerlasting roaring thunder And thereupon found out no better meanes to stop such breaches than by clammy wax iust at the wickets of the eares whose little key-holes being so choaked vp the horror of their sounds could not pierce too farre So that euersince the head being the bodies hiue doth by certaine Beeworkings of the Braines conuay wax to the cells of hearing Cancer The Crab. NExt came Cancer like a Waterman in a boate his arse toward the place to which he was going he looked like a piece of Hebrew spelld the contrary way or like a rope-maker who as he gets his liuing doth go like a course carried to Church with his heeles forward or if you will like a witch who saies her praiers backeward iust in that manner marched Signior Cornuto Cancer with the Crab-treeface Testudine gradu crawling with his tayle before him Hee was very desirous to mend his pace not daring to sweare for feare his clawes should catch no fish but protesting hee would giue all his palaces of dead horse-heads and cared not who buttered his lecherous guts with egges and muscadine and so eate him vpon condition hee might but giue that Termigant Prometheus but three pinches not vpon any legitimate spleene in the world but onely that he would not like a snaile plucke in his hornes in such a combat where the Ramme Bull and a couple of Iacke-sprat Boyes had laid about them so like Fencers The Reuenge was common as the Law or as the blowes of