perfect and glorious freedom The consideration of these things should mitigate and asswage your sorrow and grief and fill you with unspeakable comfort and gladness But some are apt to say I should rejoyce if I thought that my Children who are dead were in Heaven But this I do not know As to this you are not to trouble your thoughts about it for God does not see fit to acquaint you with such things Secret things belong to God and things revealed to us and to our Children Deut. 29.29 If your Children while they were alive minded good things and if you did your part to instruct them and to make them what God requires them to be you are not to be any further solicitous about their everlasting state You are to hope that they are very happy and you are to comfort your selves with these thoughts But some are apt to say I am afraid that my Children are not in a happy state they did very bad things and used bad Company and therefore I have cause to fear and to be troubled about them now that they are dead As to such Parents who have had wretched Children they ought not to suffer their minds to be disordered and oppressed with grief and sorrow because their Children who died were wicked If they did their Duty to make them better if they advised and admonished them if they reproved them and as was fitting chastened them if they desired others to deal with them to see what they could do towards the reclaiming of them if they prayed to God for them and gave them a good Example they are not any further to be troubled and disquieted concerning them when God takes them into his own hand He is wise and good holy and just he does all things well for excellent and glorious ends and therefore Parents ought to leave them to his Disposal who is the Supreme Governour of the World and Judge of the whole Earth Whatever he does whether in Mercy or Justice is always best The Inhabitants of the other World who are translated into a state of heavenly Glory are not under the power of such passions and partialities as govern us here below The glorified Parents of damned Children are not under any uneasiness on that or any other account The Will of God and his Glory is their all they know that whatever he does is most perfectly just and good and for his honour and therefore all things afford them great pleasure and delight true and lasting joy and satisfaction of mind There 's nothing able to interrupt the happiness and joy of those in Glory They are perfectly and eternally delivered from all sort of evils both of sin and punishment They are placed above the reach of whatever may render them in the least uneasie But there is a third sort of those who are troubled not only because their Children were bad and prophane but because they were so through their example or neglect As for such I have already in general shewed them what they ought to do I shall only add That since they have been so faulty and defective in their Duty towards their deceased Children they ought to be the more careful of those who are yet alive and to do all that is possible to make them what God requires them to be As to those who have no more Children left them it would be very fit for them to take into their care one or more Children upon whom they may bestow all that pains care which they should have bestowed in the right Education of their own and endeavour by God's help to make them truly pious and religious and Patterns of all sorts of Virtue to others This is an office which will be very acceptable to God and one of the best demonstrations which Parents can make of the sincerity of their Repentance for their not having done their Duty to their own Children 4. They should consider that there will be a Resurrection Fourthly Consider That there will be a Resurrection of all those that are dead The mighty Power of God which made all things cut of nothing will also gather together the scattered dust of those who are deceased and will reform and rebuild as it were their bodies which are fallen down and consumed He will raise them up again in a more excellent perfect and glorious manner Then shall you meet with your Children and Friends who died in the Lord and behold them after another manner than you saw them here in this World Instead of weak and diseased bodies you shall see them strong vigorous and lively bodies Instead of frail and dying bodies you shall see immortal and incorruptible bodies Instead of filthy and vile bodies you shall see pure and glorious bodies And you shall see them so as to be with them for ever so as never any more to be separated from them by death or any other thing for you and they shall die no more 1 Cor. 15.42 43 44. So also is the resurrection of the dead It is sown in corruption it is raised in incorruption it is sown in dishonour it is raised in glory It is sown in weakness it is raised in power It is sown a natural body it is raised a spiritual body And vers 15 53. This corruptible must put on incorruption and this mortal must put on immortality How gladly would poor people part with their dearest Children if they could be assured of seeing them again in an honourable state and condition exalted to great Dignity and Honour And will not you who have the hopes of a glorious Resurrection be comforted in the absence of your Children when their merciful God and Father takes them away from you unto himself not to do them hurt but good to make them happy and blessed with himself for ever to bestow upon them what eye hath not seen nor ear heard nor which hath entred into the heart of man to conceive Consider the words of the Apostle to the Thessalonians 1 Epist 4.13 14. But I would not have you to be ignorant Brethren concerning them which are asleep that ye sorrow not even as others which have no hope For if we believe that Jesus dyed and rose again even so them which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him 5. They should consider that their giving way to excessive Grief and Mourning can do no good but will certainly do a great deal of hurt Fifthly Your giving way to excessive Grief and Mourning can do you no good but will certainly do you a great deal of hurt and mischief in many respects It cannot bring back your Children that are dead Though you should break your Hearts into a thousand pieces by your weeping and mourning and waste and consume your years in constant heaviness and sorrow tho' you should never henceforth allow your selves one moment of relaxation of mind after all you must go to them they shall not return to you Now what a
is the first Commandment in the Law with Promise and to let you see how God delights in your honouring your Parents and obeying their wholesom Counsels he hath singled out that Precept and dress'd it with more than ordinary encouragements But then the Honour you shew them must not spend it self in some outward Civilities but must be expressed in Actions in Speeches and in Patience according to the Advice of the Son of Syrach Ecclesiastic 3.12 13 14. In Actions so as to execute their lawful Commands with great alacrity and fidelity to labour and to take pains for their maintenance and support if they are fallen to decay and to relieve their necessities according to your ability In Words and Speeches so as to speak honourably of them to answer them with humility to comfort them when they are in trouble and to pacifie them with soft language when they are angry and displeased In Patience so as to bear their anger patiently and to endure their frowardness and pettishness without contradiction to receive their severer Commands and such as are contrary to your genius and inclination with gentleness and to do them without murmuring These are Duties which draw more than ordinary Blessings upon you God that sees you do so will have thoughts of peace towards you he will be concerned for you and you may be confident he will not leave you nor forsake you In honouring your Parents you honour your selves It 's that which will not only procure you favour with God but with men too It 's upon this account that Wise men have recorded the Dutifulness of some excellent Children and made them immortal by their Writings and there are such Examples of this filial Respect even among the Heathen that it would be odious and dreadful if the Children of Christians should fall short of their Duty God lays so great a stress upon it that as he promises the kindest things to it so he threatens as severe punishments where it is neglected and that he doth not only threaten but execute these Judgments any man may see that will take notice of his Providences But all this the Reader will be more fully convinced of by reading the following Discourse which that God may bless with success and edification shall be my hearty Prayer A. Horneck ADVICE TO PARENTS BY A Divine of the Church of England LONDON Printed for S. Lowndes near the Savoy-Gate in the Strand 1690. THE CONTENTS Of Advice to Parents PART I. THE Introduction shewing the great Importance of the right Education of Children Pag. 1 How Parents ought to be affected while Children are yet in the Womb. 2 How they ought to he affected when their Children are born 3 The Duties of Parents for their Childrens Souls 1. Duty To Consecrate them to God in Baptism 4 2. Duty to season their minds betimes with good Impressions 7 3 Duty to teach them to pray 9 4. Duty to observe carefully their Temper and Disposition and to endeavour to reform what is amiss therein 12 5. Duty to see that they be taught to read 18 Great care ought to be taken what Books they read 20 6. Duty to bring them to the place of publick Worship so soon as they are fit for it 23 7. Duty to make them understand their Baptismal Covenant 24 The Benefit of Confirmation if performed in a right manner 25 8. Duty to encourage them to come to the Lord's Table 28 9. Duty to take care that they accustom themselves to self-Examination 30 Some plain and easie Directions how to Examin themselves 31 32 c. 10. Duty to observe what Providences they meet with and to acquaint them therewith in due time 36 Some Directions to Parents how to render their Endeavours Effectual 1. Direction They must give their Children good Example 37 2. They must chuse good Company for them 38 Advice to Parents who send their Children abroad to Travel 31 3 They must as need requires reprove and chasten their Children and how 42 The Evil of too great Severity 44. 4. They must carefully improve the time of their Childrens sickness or of any other afflictions they meet with towards the making of them wiser and better 45 5. They must daily pray to God for them 47 Some Motives to excite Parents to do these things 1. Motive from the Divine Command 48 2. Motive from its being a Work worthy of the utmost care and pains of Parents 49 3. Motive from the Rewards which attend those who faithfully do these things 51 4. Motive from the sad effects which attend the neglect of these Duties 52. PART II. The Duties of Parents as to their Childrens Bodies 1. Duty it belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children 56 2. Duty about Childrens dyet 58 3. Duty about Childrens Apparel 59 The Duty of Parents as to the outward Estate of their Children 1. Duty about chusing a fit trade for their Children 61 2. Duty about disposing of them in Marriage 62 3. Duty about providing somewhat that may be the foundation for their comfortable subsistence in the World 65 The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents 68 An Appendix concerning the Duty of Parents when God removeth their Children by Death 1. They ought to consider that it is the Lord who does it 75 2. They ought to consider that their Children were born mortal 76 3. They should consider from whence and whither they are gone 81 4. They should consider that there will be a Resurrection 86 5. They should consider that their giving way to excessive grief and mourning can do no good but will certainly do a great deal of hurt 88 Some Forms of Prayer which Parents may teach their Children according to their Age. 93 THE CONTENTS OF Advice to Children THE Introduction 103 1. Duty of Children to honour their Parents And how they are to honour them 104 Against those who dishonour their rents 107 2. Duty of Children to obey their Parents 110 Against Stubborn and disobedient Children 112 3. Duty of Children to be determined by their Parents as to their Calling 114 Against Children who neglect this Duty 116 4. Duty of Children not to suffer themselves to be bestowed in marriage against their Parents will 118 Against those Children who neglect this Duty 120 5. Duty of Children to submit to their Parents Reproofs and chastenings 120 Against Rebellious Children 122 6. Duty of Children to love their Parents and how they are to express their Love 124 Against unkind and unnatural Children 127 7. Duty of Children to pray for their Parents 128 Against Cursers of Parents 129 Motives to excite Children to do these things 1. Motive from the Authority of him who commands them to do these things 131 2. Motive from the Promise made to those who do their Duty 133 3. Motive from the Example of our Blessed Master 136 4. Motive from the Examples of some Heathens 139 The Conclusion shewing how Children ought to improve what hath been
in quarrelling and fighting in whoring and ranting and such like woful doings which cannot but prove to those who have any the least degree of real goodness so very uneasie and afflictive that Wealth and Riches can make no amends for them Such unfortunate persons cannot but often envy the happiness of those who are in a very poor and low estate and condition but yet live in peace and quietness in love and concord and in the fear of God and so enjoy-real satisfaction and contentment and have a great deal of Comfort to sweeten their outward Wants and Necessities Prov. 15.16 17. Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great Treasure and trouble therewith Better is a Dinner of Herbs where Love is than a stalled Ox and hatred therewith Thirdly Parents are to provide for them 3. Duty about providing somewhat that may be the foundation of their comfortable subsistance in the World if they can somewhat that may be a foundation for their Comfortable subsistance in the World which by the Blessing of God on their Callings may be improved towards their living decently and honestly Parents are not to propose to themselves the rendring their Children very Great and Rich But as they themselves having Food and Rayment are to be therewith content so if they can get Necessaries for their Children they ought to rest satisfied and be thankful Our life that is the happiness of our life doth not consist in the abundance of the things we possess Luke 12.15 Tho' you are thus to provide for your Children yet you are not out of too great thoughtfulness about the time to come to restrain your selves from doing all necessary Offices of Charity to the poor who do now stand in need of your help Never neglect a present Duty for fear of an uncertain inconvenience You are forbid to take thought for the Morrow Matth. 6.34 But you are required to do good to all Men while you have opportunity Gal. 6.10 To cast your Bread upon the Waters to give a Portion to seven as also unto eight because you know not what evil there may be in the Earth Eccles 11.1 2. This is the way to lay up Treasures for your Children to entail upon them great Blessings to make God their Guardian to leave them to his merciful and kind Providence and to his Almighty protection Ps 37.25 26. I have been young and now am old yet have I not seen the Righteous forsaken nor his Seed begging Bread He is ever merciful and lendeth and his Seed is Blessed So that by your Bounty and Charity you put forth your Money into God's hands who will not fail to repay it with Usury He that gives to the poor lendeth to the Lord. You thereby bring your Wares to a good Market The liberal Soul shall be made fat Prov. 11.25 He that gives to the poor shall not lack Prov. 28.27 and Deut. 15.10 it is written Thou shalt surely give him to wit thy poor Brother and thy heart shall not be grieved when thou givest unto him because that for this thing the Lord thy God shall bless thee in all thy Works and in all that thou puttest thine hands unto And in the Epistle to the Hebrews ch 6. v. 10. it is said God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love which you have shewed towards his Name in that you have ministred to the Saints and do minister From all which it appears that Charity and Liberality are the best Husbandry As you are to beware lest your care for your Children make you neglect necessary Duties of Charity so you are to take heed lest you use any unlawful method to get Wealth to bestow upon them This is not a way to make them rich for such Riches seldom prosper There is a Curse which attends all unlawful Gain and like a Canker eats it out and consumes it All Ages and Places afford Examples which confirm this Observation Better saith Solomon Prov. 16.8 is a little with Righteousness than great Revenues without Right Thus I have shewed you what are the principal Duties you owe to the Souls and Bodies of your Children and what you are to do for them as to their outward Estate The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents From what hath been said you may see what a weighty and difficult charge you have the sense whereof should excite you to beg of God earnestly every day that he would direct and assist you to perform the Duties that belong to Christian Parents That you may the better act your part 't is fit for you when you call your selves to an account about your Lives and Conversations to make enquiry particularly how you perform the Duties of Parents towards your Children as to their Souls their Bodies and Outward Concerns And if upon serious enquiry you find that you sincerely endeavour to do whatever you know your selves to be bound to do for them then bless and praise God who gives you both to will and to do according to his good pleasure Beg his pardon for those imperfections and defects that attend all Humane Actions Resolve to go on and not to grow weary in your Duty towards them that so they may be as happy in all respects as is possible for you by the help of God to make them But if upon enquiry you find that you have been very defective in your duty towards your Children that you have done very little good for their Souls and not what you should and might have done for their Bodies and outward Estate and that perhaps you have done them a great deal of hurt by your Evil Counsel and Prophane and Wretched Example that you have led them on in the Broad Way which leads to the Chambers of Death that you have robbed God who bestowed them on you of their Service and Obedience and have made them the Servants of Sin that you have contributed to the making them Heirs of Wrath Children of Disobedience who were made by their Baptism Children of God and Inheritors of the Kingdom of Heaven that you have done what tended to destroy eternally those Souls and Bodies which God intrusted with you that you might take care of them and do what you could to make them happy If I say upon enquiry into your hearts and lives you find your selves guilty of those things how great reason have you to be in bitterness and grief of Heart to weep and lament to abhor your selves in Dust and Ashes to confess and acknowledge your sins with great humility and contrition to implore the divine mercy and forgiveness with all earnestness for the sake of his dear Son to resolve and purpose sincerely to amend your ways and doings to beg grace from God that he would assist you that he would compass you about with his Salvation and never leave you nor forsake you Consider the particular things wherein you have hurt the Souls of your Children and
Strand 1690. Ephes V. 16. Redeeming the time because the days are evil OF all the outward Blessings The Introduction which God bestows upon us there is none so valuable and precious as our Time God bestows upon us his other Blessings in great variety and plenty but in this he seems to be more sparing for it is given us not in large proportions but as it were drop by drop one minute after another never two minutes together whenever he gives us one he takes away another And yet how strange is it to think that a great many spend their time in Vanity and Folly Time is to many like a dead Commodity they cannot tell what to do with it They are ready to throw it away for nothing or for that which is little better instead of improving and using it in virtuous and profitable actions and designs they waste it in trifling and vanity which is an Argument of the greatest Folly as on the other hand the right husbanding of Time is a great instance of true Wisdom The Apostle having exhorted the Ephesians to walk circumspectly The Text explained not as fools but as wise he immediately subjoins Redeeming the time Intimating thereby that there is no better way for us to shew our selves wise than by employing our time to good purpose Redeeming and buying it or as some read the words Buying the opportunity or a fit occasion and season for doing good It is a Metaphor taken from Merchants who when they have a great likelihood and probability of making considerable gain and advantage in buying and selling part with their pleasures or lesser cares and concerns that they may make a good bargain and purchase that which they greatly desire So the Christian the man that is good and wise ought to deny himself in his pleasures and outward delights or even in his ordinary affairs and concerns when he has any great prospect of doing somewhat considerable for the glory of God the good of his Neighbour and the benefit of his own Soul The Reason which the Apostle useth is Because the days are evil that is either bad and sinful full of wickedness and folly so that it is very hard and difficult then to be good when sin like a violent and impetuous torrent carries all down before it This ought to make you redeem all occasions of doing good that you may fortifie others in Virtue and Piety that you may rescue those that are carried down the stream by bad Example and may build up your selves in Holiness and that you may be made strong in the Lord and in the Power of his Might Or Because the days are evil may relate to the danger you are in through the fury and malice of your enemies who are ready to do you all the mischief that is in their power the sense whereof should make you improve all occasions of doing good not knowing how soon you may be deprived of your present happy opportunities and seasons for working How Time is to be redeemed The Design of this Discourse is to shew you First How you are to redeem your Time And Secondly To propose some Considerations to excite you to do so 1. Time to be redeemed from sleep First You are to redeem your Time from excessive and immoderate sleep It is necessary for all men to refresh their bodies with sleep and rest and the state of some mens bodies requires a great deal more than others so that no exact Rules can be given about the proportion of sleep that 's proper for every one Only in general it is fit that all persons redeem as much time from sleeping as the health of their bodies can permit that so they may employ part of that time to some good and useful purpose which they were wont to waste in the shadow of death as it were whereof sleep is the picture and representation In the ancient Church we find many were wont to rise up in the night to pray that so they might day and night keep alive in their Souls Divine impressions that they might preserve a relish and taste of heavenly and spiritual things that excellent Objects might not be removed too far out of their sight This is a practice which perhaps very few in these cold Countries are able safely to imitate especially at some times of the year The weakness and tenderness of some bodies makes it to them impracticable because it would render them unfit at other times not only for religious performances but for the other necessary actions of life Some likewise have so little time allowed them for their repose in the night that they cannot do this in their present circumstances As for such who are capable without any sort of inconvenience to follow this ancient Practice let them do it They want not sufficient Encouragement thereto if they consider that thereby they have the opportunity of flying as it were from these regions of darkness and misery of sin and folly unto those glorious regions of light and happiness of purity and perfection there to converse with God their chiefest Joy to behold his Face the light of his countenance to taste and see how good he is to walk with him to be satisfied with his Salvation to drink of those Rivers of unmixed pleasure which are in his Presence the streams whereof make glad the City of God As for those who are not able to deny themselves of their repose in the night season all that I shall say to them is this When at some times it pleaseth God to take away their sleep and to keep them awake let them redeem a few moments from vain thoughts by lifting up their Souls to God darting up some pious thoughts and fervent desires Heaven-wards reflecting on the Goodness and Love of God admiring his glorious Perfections calling to mind and considering his gracious Providences longing for and breathing after that happy state when they shall be placed above all the infirmities and frailties of the flesh and outward necessities above Sin and Satan and all their Enemies And after this they may again compose themselves to sleep This is a way to keep the Soul awake to entertain it in a way worthy of it to accustom it to the contemplation of excellent and divine Objects to keep Heaven always near its view and not to suffer the things of another life to be removed too far out of sight We see in what temper of mind the Spouse was Cant. 5.2 I sleep but my heart waketh Even amidst her repose and sleep her thoughts were running after her desirable and beloved Object which possessed her heart and filled her thoughts when she was awake And so it is with pious Souls sometimes when their thoughts have been much imployed and busied about spiritual and heavenly things in the day time they dream of them in the Night season Tho' they sleep yet their Heart waketh This watchful temper is an Excellent means to enrich
his Life and Estate would he not improve with great care and diligence that little time To be sure he would not lose one moment of it And tho' perhaps at other times he was wont to give up himself to his pleasures and pastimes and to mind little else but the gratifying his Lusts and Passions and his vanity and folly yet now that his Life and Fortune lye at the stake you should see such a man changed in a moment You should see him with great application of mind with the utmost diligence imploying his time running from place to place from one person to another according as his great and important business and concern required How readily would such a person redeem his time not only from idleness from gaming from impertinent Visits and from dressing and adorning of his Body and the like but even from eating and drinking and from his rest and repose in the night The desire of preserving his life would so fill his thoughts as to make him forges almost every thing else What would you 〈◊〉 or say if you should see a man in such circumstances wholly unconcerned and careless spending his time in gâ—ming or idleness in making impertinent visits in rioting and drinking and the like and doing nothing at all to obtain his pardon and to secure his life and fortune Doubtless you would look upon such a man as void of common understanding fit only for Bedlam or not worthy to live who knew no better to make use of his short time to preserve his life which Nature teacheth all men to do by all honest and lawful means It is easie for you to make application of all this to your selves You are by your sins Enemies to God Rebels against your Lord and King whereby you are in danger of everlasting death and destruction But God in his infinite mercy gives you time to sue out your Pardon which he offers you upon the most just and reasonable conditions only believe and repent and you shall be saved He will have mercy upon you and blot out your iniquities Be therefore so wise as to husband well this short time which God bestows on you for this purpose Redeem it as much as you can from all vain and unnecessary things that you may obtain forgiveness of Sins and the assistance of the Holy Spirit to enable you afterwards to walk in newness of life But if instead of minding this great and important concern of your Souls you give up your selves to sin and folly and indulge your selves in your mad and wicked practices and thereby provoke God yet more and more against you how just will your judgment and condemnation be If you will not be saved if you will not turn to the Lord that you may live if you will not believe repent and amend what remains you shall certainly dye and be miserable for ever They that will not be happy shall not be happy The wrath of God shall abide upon them Secondly 2. Motive from the uncertainty of your Time Consider that as your time is very short so it is most uncertain What do you know whether your Sun shall decline leasurely or whether it may not go down suddenly when you think it is not yet come to the noon-tide of the day You are not sure to live till you come to a good old Age. How many sicknesses and distempers and how many sudden accidents are there in the way which may shorten your day and cause your Sun to set when you think it shines with its greatest force and lustre Sometimes a Candle is blown out by the Wind or snufft out undesignedly when it is not yet half burnt And so the life of Man is often extinguished by outward accidents when by the course of Nature it might have been prolonged much further How many come forth into the World and give great appearances of making a very considerable figure in it by their Wisdom and Sagacity their good Conduct and Address their excellent Parts and useful Learning their Courage and Valour their charming Eloquence and clear and distinct Reasoning or by their shining Piety and burning Zeal But do not you see how suddenly they are gone they are hurried away by death and you neither see them nor hear of them any more There is nothing certain as to your time but its shortness and uncertainty Nothing can secure you against an unexpected blow by death when God sees fit to give charge to the King of terrors to knock you down Youth and strength cannot do it for how many dye when their Breasts are full of milk and their bones are moistened with marrow Too great abundance of Blood and Spirits do sometimes oppress and stifle the life of Man Wealth and Riches cannot secure you How many great and wealthy men have been suddenly carried away as with a Flood when their Coffers were full of Silver and Gold when they had all that heart could wish Even their Wealth proved the bait which allured idle covetous and desperate persons to break into their Houses and rob them not only of their Treasure but of their lives Greatness of Power and earthly Honour and Dignity are not able to do it Crowns and Scepters Castles and Palaces a wise Council and great Armies are not able to protect Princes from the violent and desperate attempts of Men who are prodigal of their lives How many of those who have been most famous in the World for their Power and Greatness have been very unexpectedly removed by a violent and sudden death When they have been in their greatest heighth at the very top of Earthly Felicity and full of the deepest Projects and Designs when they made account to make the Earth as it were to tremble to humble and to mortifie their Enemies to enlarge their own Dominions or to enslave their Subjects even then Death gave them a sudden blow and so there was an end of them and their designs together But may not Wisdom and Understanding great Learning and skill in various Arts and Sciences do somewhat to secure men from the sudden blow of Death No all this cannot do it We see even Wise men suddenly and unexpectedly removed from us by death as well as others In the midst of their useful Studies and excellent contrivances and designs the King of terrors puts a stop to them and in the twinkling of an Eye they are gone and all their thoughts are laid asleep So vain a thing is Man and even the wisest Man and so uncertain is his time Consider that Death can enter by a thousand doors Every pore in your Body is a gate wide enough for Death to enter in at Do not you see what a small thing makes way for Death The prick of a Thorn or a Splinter of Wood does it sometimes by occasioning a Fever or a Gangrene How quickly are some removed by violent and unexpected Distempers and sometimes on a sudden are struck dead you cannot tell