hee will supply her with one which hee performes so poorely as none that sees it but would take it for a Signe hee was drunke when he made it A long consultation is had before they can agree what Signe must be rear'd A Meere-mâ—…ide sayes shee for that will sing Catches to the Youths of the Parish A Lyon sayes he for that 's the onely Signe that he can make And this he formes so art-lesly as it requires his expression This is â—… Lion Which old Eâ—…lenor Rumming his Tap dame deâ—…ies saying It should have been a Meere-maid Now and then hee turnes Rover and bestowes the height of his Art on Archers stakes Sundry Whimziâ—…s hee ha's in his head but of all others there is none that puzzles him so much as this one Hee ha's a speciall handsome Master-peece for so he termes her and is so jealous of her aâ—… when any one inquires for his picture hee simply mistakes himselfe and shewes them Actâ—…on Glâ—…dly would he cure this inâ—…red malady with the secret receipt of an Itâ—…lian sâ—…curitie could 〈◊〉 Aâ—… contrive it or his state proâ—…ure it Well so it is that hee who tooke the dâ—…aught of others and liv'd by it must now leave that Trade for Death hath drawne him out to the full body His chiefe Master-Artists imprese was this No day without a line but now the last line of his life is drawne If hee dye well it iâ—… more than hee did all his life time His memory seldome surviveâ—… him being now the Image of Death as hee was before a living picture A Pedler IS a mâ—…n of Ware A wandring Stâ—…rre Oâ—…e whose chiefest â—…ommerce is with Country Wenâ—…es The materials of their truckâ—…ng are of his part Pinnes Ribbons aâ—…d Laces of theirs Cony-skins Lambe-skinnes and Feathers for Marrow-bones their honest siâ—…plicity never knew the operation oâ—… them What doe yee lâ—…cke is his ordinary Intergatory yet you may lacâ—… many things ere he can supply you Pepper doe ye want â—…d he will pâ—…pper it for you He â—…ill sell you clots for Clovâ—…s couâ—…se crummâ—…s for Currans Orpine for Saffron and â—…ompound your pepper with his Earth-pouder to gull you It were a strange disease that his fardell cannot cure blessed bee his Genius hee ha's a receit to cure any one from breaking but himselfe and this is the least hee doâ—…bts for his Pâ—…pouder Court is his onely teâ—…ror He is no â—…choler yet turning Rope-maker hee drawes stronâ—… lines which draines more from Câ—…rdener than Philosopher It is a prety thing to observe how hee carries his Trinkilo's about him which mâ—…kes the Countrey Choughs esteeme him a man of prize A Countrey Rush-bearing or Morriâ—…e Pastorall is his festivall if ever hee aspire to plum porridge that iâ—… the day Here â—…he Guga-gâ—…les giâ—…gle it â—…ith his 〈◊〉 nifles while hee sculkes uâ—…der a Bâ—…h and showes his wit never till then in admiring their follieâ—… Hâ—… ha's an obscene veiâ—…e of Ballatry which mâ—…kes the Wenâ—…hes of the Greene laugh and this purchaseth him upon better acquaintance a posset or a Sillibub Hee is ever removing his tents and might bee complain'd of for non-residence if his informer could gaine ought by'â—… The Tinker of Turvie cannot put him downe at long-staffe Which hee could finde in his heart to employ for high-way receits if his white liver would give him leave Would you have a true survey of his family and number them by the pole you shall fiâ—…de them subsist of three heads Himselfe his Truck and her Misset Where the last weares commonly the sleakest skinne Hee might bee a good maâ—… by the Philosophers reason for Every place is his country and generally least trusted in his owne His Atlantickâ—… shoulderâ—… are his supporters if they faile his revenues fall His judgement consists principally in the choice of his ware and place of their vent Saint Martins Rings and counterfeit Bracelets are commodities of iâ—…finite consequence these will passe for current at a May-pole and purchase a favor from their May-Marian One would take him for some appendice of a Souldier by his Lether but you shall find as much valour in his Hamper There is nothing so much disheartens him as the report of a Prâ—…sse this makes him stirre his stumpes but if that will not serve he turnes Counterfeit Cripplâ—… and as one cut off by the stumps he cants his maimes most meâ—…hodically and this practice hee most coâ—…stantly retaines till the coast be cleare Sometimes he coâ—…sorts wiâ—…h his Bungs and these keepe Centinell neare his Booth to take notice of a 〈◊〉 prey which purchase makes the sileâ—…t Evening in some blind Aâ—…ley or place of knowne 〈◊〉 the divider of their prize He 〈◊〉 a certaine Catalogue of alâ—… the principall Faires where though he have little to vend he can find some way or other to bring iâ—… a booty He will not sticke to pretend for want of better supply an extraordinary skill in Physick and so turnes most impudent dogmaticall Quacksalveâ—… What transnaturalized Elixers will this mercenarie Mountebanke produce to delude the vulgar All which hee findes experiments of usefull consequence till the whipstock waine him from his practice It were wonderfull this generall Artist should not thrive having so many irons i' ch fire Yet he findes himselfe in nothing so constant as in matter of estate being for all his endeavour neither worse nor better but just as hee was at first a direct beggar Now should you aâ—…ke him the reason hee will tell you one of his calling cannot bee honest and thrive too If hee could have faced and outfac'd truth set a deceitfull glosse on his adulterate wâ—…res or dispencd with oaths to beget Cuâ—…tome his Pack had beene a storehouse of rich commodities before this time but making conscience of his deâ—…ling was his maine undoing Thus would hee make you credulously beleeve that he were seaz'd of what he never had nor shuld he live longer would ever have Well something hee would gladly leave the young Hamperman his hopefull heire whom he furâ—…isheth to expresse his love for want of better fortunes with the improved example of his life He shewes him in a Landskip the whole Modell of his Pedler pâ—…grimage with whom he may to his much benefit securely truck and on whose sun â—…licity hee may most usefully worke He tells him some mysterious secrets which he never durst till that houre discover lest they should have prevented him of a naturall death Now hee is to leave the world and to his successors grieâ—…e to leave nothing unto him in all the world His fathers empty hamper is his sole patrimony Truth is he shâ—…wd great improviâ—…ence iâ—… the course of hiâ—… liâ—…e not to leave one poore knot oâ—… blacke ribboâ—… to display his trâ—…de and beget a few seeming mournerâ—… Bâ—…t his comfort is he dies cnâ—…ven boord His Exâ—…cutor if any such minister bee 〈◊〉 may thanke God for his wanâ—… of Credit for it kept him out of debt Well now
Hee is now taâ—…ked to thâ—…t in his age which hee was little acquainted with in his youth Hee must now betake himselfe to prayer aâ—…d devotion remember the Foundâ—…r Benefactors Hâ—…ad and members of that â—…amous foundation all which he performes with as much zâ—…ale as as Actor aster the end of a Play when hee prayes for his Majestie the Lords of his most honourable priâ—…ie Councâ—…ll and all that love the King He ha's scarce fully ended his Orisons till hee lookes backe at the Buttry hatch to see whether it bee open or no. The sorrow hee conceives for his sinnes ha's made him drie The Proselyte therefore had nâ—…ede of some refreshâ—…ent His gowne and retyred walkes would argue him a Sâ—…holler but it is not the hood that makes the Monke hee can bee no such man unlesse hee have it by inspiration But admit he were hee is at the best but a lame Scholler A great part of a long winter night is past over by him and the rest of his devout Circumcellions in discoursing of what they have beene and seene While sometimes they fall at variance in the relation and comparison of their actions But all their differences are soone rinsed downe in Lambs-wooll Which done with a friendly and brotherly regreete one of another as loving members of one sociâ—…tie they betake themselv's to their rest Before the first Cocke at the longest awakes oâ—…r Hospitall-man â—…or aches and crampes will not suffer his sleepes to be long which is a great motive to make his prayers more frequent The morning Bell summons him early to his devotions whereto howsoâ—…ver his inward man stand affected his outward is with due reverence addressed No sooner ha's hee got repast for his soule than he prepares râ—…leefe for his belly Hee cannot endure to chastise it so loâ—…g as he may cherish it Austeritie he can embrace so it restraine him neither in his repast nor rest For other bodily exercises hee stands indifferent for hee findes his body unable to use them To speake of the condition of his life hee might conceive an high mâ—…asure of Contemplative sweetnesse in it if the Sunne of hiâ—… Soule too long eâ—…clipsed by the interposâ—…ion of earth could clearely apprehend it It is straâ—…ge to see with what tendernesse he embraceâ—…h this life which in all reasoâ—… should bee rather by hâ—…m loathed than lovâ—…d His head iâ—… a recepâ—…acle of Catarrhs his eyes 〈◊〉 of sluxes and 〈◊〉 his brest a Conduit of rhumatickâ—… distillations the Sciatica ha's seazed on his hippes aches and convulsions racke his backe and reines in a word his whole body is a very Magazen of diseases and diseases you kâ—…ow are the Suburbs of death Yet he hopes to put the Hospitall to the charge of another Livery gowne and a whole yeers Comâ—…ons whence hee seemes to verifie the proverbe There is none so desperately old but he hopes to live one yeere longer Yet for all this hee caâ—… never be 〈◊〉 merry being injoyned to a taske which he cannot iâ—…ure 〈◊〉 to without irksomnesse or 〈◊〉 For to bring an â—…axterâ—…o â—…o the exercise of Devotion is â—…o bring an old Bird to sing pricksong in a Cage The rules of his house hee observes most punctually but for Clancular houres of private prayer and devotion hee absoluâ—…ely holds them workes of Supererogation His Campe is now translated into a Cloister yet his zeale as much then as now for aâ—… Hospitall-fire and too liberall 〈◊〉 ha's cool'd his fervor He concâ—…ives as much delight in discoursiâ—…g â—…t the Gâ—…te as 〈◊〉 in 〈◊〉 Câ—…l yet hâ—… demuâ—…e 〈◊〉 agâ—…d reveâ—…ence anâ—… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 more 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 expectâ—…ce Hoâ—…ly in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 hee 〈◊〉 oâ—…â—…is 〈◊〉 and guides he ha's to waft him to the port of felicitie wherein it were to be wished that as hee is retentive of the one so he would not bee unmindefull of the other There is no Provision hee neede take care for but how to dye and that he will doe at leasure when necessity calls him to 't The world is well changed with him if he could make right use on 't In stead of the cold ground for his pallat Armes and Alarmes and volleyes of shot he may now lie softly sleepe sweetly repose safely and if hee looke well to the regiment of â—…is soule discampe securely Feares and Foes he may have within him but neither Foes nor Feares without him Armour he ha's aswell as before and that more complete this is spirituall that corporall Methinks it should not grieve him to remember hee was a man in his time That condition is the best which makes him best Admit he had meanes yet being a meanes to corrupt his minde they were better lost than possest In his Summer Arbour of prosperitiâ—… hee was dâ—…sperately sicke for hee had no sense of his sinne Sycophants he had to dandle him in the lappe of securitie and belull him in his sensuall Lethargie These tame beasts are gone These Summer-swallowes flowne the fuell of his loose-expended houres consumed the veile which kept him from discovery of himselfe removed What remaines now but that hee alien himselfe from the world seeing what he had in the world is aliened from him His soules-tillage is all the husbandry hee neede intend This neglected his case is desperate This respâ—…cted all is fortunate Every day then as his body is nearer Eâ—…rth let his soule bee nearer Heaven Hee feedes but a languishing-lingring life while hee lives here It is but a â—…abernacle at the best so long as he is encloistered upon his manumission hence hee is truly enfranchised While he had meanes he might leave an estate to his successour and so much meanes hee ha's now as will cause some Hospitall-Brother thanke God for his departure The thirstie Earth gapes not more greedily for his Corpâ—…e than some Beadsmâ—…n or othâ—…r doth for his place He ha's by this got his pasport hee ha's â—…id the World a dâ—…w by paying Nâ—…ture â—…r deâ—… Dry eyes attâ—…nd him his 〈◊〉 Brothers follow him aâ—… briâ—…g hiâ—… to â—…is long home A shorâ—… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 up hiâ—… 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 more state hee needes not and lesse hee cannot have 9. A Iayler IS a Surly hoast who entertaines his Guests with harsh language and hard usage Hee will neither allow them what is sufficient for them nor give them Liberty to seeke an other Iâ—…ne Hee is the Phyâ—…itian and they are his Patients to whom hee pâ—…escribes such a strict dieâ—… that if they would they cannot surfet If at any time they grow irregular hee allayes their distemper 〈◊〉 cold iron Hee receives the first fruits oâ—… the Aâ—…m svasket and leaves them the 〈◊〉 He holds nothing more unprofitable to one of his place than 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 more dissorting than compassion so as it little moves him to see his famish'd family in affliction His Mency cannot bee more impious than he is imperious hee domineeres bravely beares himselfe towards his ragged regiment bravingly and makes himselfe
Oaths all which moulded together make a terrible quarter in an Ordinarie He weares more metall on his heele than in his purse He triumphs damnably on some stolne favour bee it lighter than a feather and threatens mischiefe to him that will not pledge her But it falls out many times that he is bastinado'd out of this humour You shall best distinguish him by a nastie neglectfull carriage accoutred with disdaine and contempt so as his very countenance is a Letter of Challenge to the beholder Those which know him rather jeere him than feare him for they experimentally know that a Pigmey would beat him And with such forasmuch as his shoulders have felt their censure hee keepes a faire and civile quarter His Soveraignty is showne highest at May-games Wakes Summerings and Rush-bearings where it is twentie to one but hee becomes beneficiall bâ—…ore he part to the Lord of the Man our by meanes of â—… bloody nose or a broken pate Hee will now and then for want of a better Subject to practise on squabble with the Minstrell and most heroically break his Drone because the Drone cannot rore out his tune The wenches poore soules shâ—…ke in their skinnes fearing a mischiefe and intreat their â—…hearts to give him faire language All is out a square while hee is there But thâ—…se are but his 〈◊〉 pageaâ—…ts Hee will iâ—…trude most frontlâ—…sly into any Company and advance himselâ—…e with the highest at an Ordinariâ—… yet many times hee eates farre more than hee can defray yea now and then hee receives where hee should disburse a kicke I meane from some surly Naprie groome which serves in full discharge of his Commons Never crept fardell of worser qualities into more choyce and select companies But these hee cannot consort with long For their Purses are too strong-string'd their hearts too well 〈◊〉 their hands too truly-metal'd to veile to his bâ—…senesse He must be discarded and with disgrace if he haste not Suppose him then with his restie regiment dropping out of a three-pennie Ordinarie where the last mans Cloake is sure to bee seaz'd on for all the reckoning But when the Cooke eyes it more precisely and considers how irreparably it is aged hee will not take it in full satisfaction of his hungry Commons without some other pawne which for feare of Clubbes they submissively condescend to by disroabing one of their Complices who may best spare it of an ancient Buff-jerkin whose lapps you may imagine by long use so beliquor'd and belarded as they have oyle enough to frie themselves without any other material Yet they cannot pocket up this indignitie with patience wherefore they vow to be revenged which for most part is as basely clozed Next night theâ—…efore these nittie Haâ—…ters intend with strong hand to breake his glassâ—…indow's or at dead-time of night to pull downe his Signe and so ends their faire quarrel To a play they wil hazard to go though with never a rag of monâ—…y where after the second Act when the Dâ—…ore is weakly guarded they will make sorciblâ—… entrie a knock with a Cudgell is the worst whereat though they grumble they rest pacified upon their admittance Forthwith by violent assault and assent they aspire to the two-pennie roome where being furnished with Tinder Match and a portion of decayed Barmoodas they smoake it most terribly applaud a prophane jeast unmeasurably and in the end grow distastefully rude to all the Companie At the Conclusion of all they single out their dainty Doxes to clozeup a fruitlesse day with a sinnefull evening Whereto truth is they repaire rather for releefe then to releeve yea their house of sin becomes oft-times their house of Correction for when they will not pay for what they call for Lais and her Laundrie will returne them their payment by assistance of such familiar Inmates as she will make bold to call for But suppose now this Tyâ—…darian Tribe dispersed out of all civile societies discarded and with no better entertainment than contempt wheresoever received Our Ruffian ha's left his Mates and they him Povertie ha's now seaz'd on him for his braine it is as barren of a shift as his backe guiltlesse of a shirt Those Iron tooles of his with which hee affrighted his Scar-crowes hang now in Long-lane for a signe of the Sword and Buckler His slasht Suite like Lâ—…bels or tart-papers hang peeee meale estrang'd both from substance and colour His yingling spâ—…rre hath lost his voyce his head his locke yea his decayed Lungs the puff of a Râ—…rer The wall now must bee no Subject of quarrell nor his distended Mouchâ—…to a Spectacle of terrour The extreamest effects of hunger have taken him off from standing upon points of honour He would gladly encounter with death if hee durst But there was such distance betwixt him and the rememberance of it during the whole progresse of his unfruitfull life as now it startles him to entertainâ—… the least thought of death Yet may this bee one of his inferiour comforts hee leaves nothing behind him that may bee termed properly his owne that is worth enjoying In a word he cannot be so wearie of the World as it was long since of him Never was Creature lesse usefull or more unfruitfull Let it content hiâ—… that hee hath prevented that contempt by dying which hee should have iâ—…curred dayly by living 18. A Sayler IS an Otter an Amphibium that lives both on Land and Water Hee shewes himselfe above Hatches in shape like a male Meeremaid visible to the halfe body Hee stands at his 〈◊〉 and holds out his hand to you as if he craved your more acquaintance where though hee tell you that hee is your first man doe not beleeve him for his founder Zabulâ—…n was long after Adam Hee never shewes himselfe nimbler nor contests with his fellowes with more active vigour than in shooting the Bridge at a Low water Hee will hazard a life in a whirlewind without feare rather than lose the benefit oâ—… his Fare The bredth of an inch-boord is betwixt him and drowning yet heâ—… sweares and drinks as deepely as if hee were a fathom from it His familiarity with death and danger hath armed him with a kind of dissolute security against any encounter The Sea cannot rore more abroad than hee within fire him but with liquor Hee is as watchfull as a Crane in a storme and as secure as a Dormoâ—…se in a calme In a tempest you shall heare him pray but so amethodically as it argues that hee is seldome vers'd in that practice Feare is the principall motive of his devotion yet I am perswaded for forme sake he shewes more than hee feeles Hee loves to fish in troubled waters have an Oare in every mans boate and to breake the tenth Commandement in the conclusion of his lukewarmeprayer Hey for a rich prize Heâ—… lives in a tottriâ—…g state and he sits himselfe to it Hee is as constant as the Moone in his resolves So hee can have Sea-roome no coast
and they know his mind Halfe Sacrifices are abhominable This faithfull Family is his Monopoly hee ha's ingross'd them to himselfe hee feedes on them while hee feedes them His frequent preaching leaves him no time to pray in He can stand better than he caÌ„ 〈◊〉 Hee loves mixâ—… societies and hee takes this from the Arke where there was a Male and Female of every kind Hee avoucheth that learned Lilie most orthodoxally proved the undoubted necessity of matrimony in the presbytery in his declination of hic hâ—…c sacerdâ—…s Hee holds his Mother tongue to be the Originall tongue and in that only he is constant for he hath none to change it withall Hee wonders how Babel should have such a confused variety of tongues and hee understand but one He never reades any Author lest hee should bee held for an Apocryphall Pâ—…stor One would take him for an incessant Student by his pale visage and enfeebled body but the bent of his studies intends more the practick than Theorick Hee is seldome or never constant to those Tenets he holds which proving for most part scarce Orthodoxall doe usually convent him which makes him grow in great request with the purely-ignorant Hee holds all Bonds bearing date at Lammasse Michaelmasse Candlemasse or any Masse whatsoever to be frustrate and of no effect but by changing masse into tide they become of full force and vertue Mattins and Uâ—…spers hee holds two dangerous words hee loves not to heare of theâ—… He maintaines equality in Presbytery but if the necessity of time be such as a Superintendent bee requisite his zealous followers hold none siâ—…ter to supply that place than hiâ—…selfe For the decision of al doubts difficulties and differences hee makes a private family his revestry Whatsoever tends to the doctrine of mortification hee holds for Romish abstinence therefore he avoucheth to be an error newly crept into the Church but if you put this Inter gatorie to him in what time it crept this weaklyread Deponeâ—…t knoweth not No season through all the yeere accounts hee more subject to abhomination than Bartholomew faire Their Drums Hobbihorses Rattles Babies Ieâ—…trumps nay Pigsâ—…nd â—…nd all are wholly Iâ—…daicall The very Booths are Brothells of iniquity and distinguished by the stampe of the Beast Yet under favour hee will authorize his Sister to eate of that uncleane and irruminating beaâ—…t a Pig provided that this Pig bee fat and that himselfe or some other zealous Broâ—…her accompanie her and all this is held for authentick and canonicall Though hee seeme all spirit yet during his beeing in this Tabernacle of clay he holds it fitting to have a little relish of the flesh He preferres the union of bodies before the union of minds and he holds no unity worse than churchconformity Hee conceives more inveterate hate towards the Church of Rome than the temple of Mecha and could finde with all his heart rather to embrace the traditions of the latter than submit to the discipline of the former His devotion consists rather in elevation of the eye than bending of the knee In his extemporall Seâ—…mons hee is a sonne of thunder denouncing terror but seldome hope of favour to the â—…jected siâ—…ner This desperate 〈◊〉 hee continues and holds them till night and then leaves them Children of darkenesse Hee thumps a pulpit pittifully as if hee were angry but if hee be it is with those onely that come short in their oblations He baptizeth his Children with Scripture-names wherein onely hee shewes the depth of his reading Yet in these hee mistakes miserably for want of Eâ—…ymology taking AMAN for AMON DIANA for DINA He holds one probable Tenet constantly That there are no walking Spirits on earth and yet he finds a terrible one at home which all his Divinity cannot conjure This hath made him sometimes to have a months mind to go for Virginia to save soules till hee right wisely considered how the enterprise was full of perill and that hee wanted materialls to defray the charge of his Travell Of all Sects of Philosophers he cannot endure to heare of the Academicks for he never came amongst them Of all metals hee hates Latin for hee hath heard how it was sometimes the Roman tongue and that cannot chuse but be Schismaticall He feares no shot so much as that of the Canon for it injoynes him to that which he most hates Conformity Hee would beyond Sea but his Duck will not swimme over with him which makes him peremptorily conclude Shee is better fed than taâ—…ght Hee was once in election to have beene a Vice-verger in Amsterdam but he wanted an audible voice Howsoever hee is holden a great Rabbi amongst his Brethren whose weakenesse hee strengthens with perillous paradoxes which when hee comes to explaine hee as littlâ—… understands as his amazed hearers He was pleased sometime to make so bold with affaires of State Church-government with otherlike Subjects farre above his verge as a late asthma ha's taken him and restrain'd him to a perpetuall silence This makes his illiterate brutes to double their pensions for his maintenance and to idolize him the more because taken notice of by the State And now hee is altogether for his privat Lectures where he vents such unauthenticke stuffe as it proves pregnantly from what spirit it comes Hee now takes time to intend controversies which he secretly commenceth amongst his owne Familists against the Communion Book and Book of common Prayer Anthems and Versicles he holds papisticall sundry other â—…xceptions hee finds no lesse criminall But these quarrels become Convâ—…ntuall and he must answer them In the end the contemptiblenesse of his person with the weakenesse of his fortunes rid him out a bryers while now after so many alterations in matters of religion he purposeth to have some little bartring with the world beâ—…ore he goe out of it lest his poore progeny curse him that ever he came in it But truth is he shewes the necessity of his 〈◊〉 in nothing so much as in wâ—…nt which onely makes him out of love with the world and gives him the true marke of a Scholâ—…r Some he hath to provide for if hee knew how but hee must leave them being abjâ—…cts through poverty objects of charity yet ha's he no great reason to expect that his broode should partake of those good workes now after his death which hee could never endure to heare so much as commended all his life By this our Câ—…rnelius is become Tacitus since hee dropt into his bathing-tubbe where hee left his haire and lost his honour since which time he is quite falne off from his zealâ—…us Brâ—…threns favour for the dampe of his life hath so darkened the light of his doctrine as now for want of audience hee may save himselfe a labour Thus reft of friends fortune health and libertie hee clozeth his Evening Lecture with a senselesse Lethargie There is nothing now that troubles him so much in his sicknesse as that the Bells shall ring for him after