because_o the_o more_o i_o love_v he_o the_o more_o i_o abhor_a and_o dread_a that_o my_o cruel_a enemy_n death_n that_o bereave_v i_o of_o he_o fancy_v it_o a_o monster_n that_o will_v soon_o devour_v the_o rest_n of_o man_n because_o it_o can_v destroy_v he_o even_o thus_o i_o well_o remember_v stand_v i_o then_o affect_v behold_v my_o heart_n o_o my_o god_n behold_v and_o see_v into_o i_o how_o i_o remember_v this_o very_a well_o o_o thou_o my_o hope_n that_o now_o cleanse_v i_o from_o the_o impurity_n of_o such_o passion_n guide_v my_o eye_n unto_o thy_o beauty_n and_o pluck_v my_o foot_n out_o of_o these_o snare_n for_o i_o wonder_v much_o that_o the_o rest_n of_o mortal_n can_v any_o long_o live_v when_o he_o who_o i_o love_v as_o a_o thing_n immortal_a be_v now_o dead_a and_o yet_o more_o wonder_v that_o myself_o be_v only_o another_o he_o can_v live_v when_o he_o be_v go_v well_o say_v one_o of_o his_o friend_n animae_fw-la dimidium_fw-la mea_fw-la half_a of_o my_o soul_n for_o i_o deem_v he_o and_o i_o to_o be_v but_o one_o soul_n as_o it_o be_v in_o different_a body_n and_o therefore_o my_o life_n be_v a_o horror_n to_o i_o who_o will_v not_o live_v thus_o a_o half_n and_o death_n yet_o a_o great_a affright_n to_o i_o lest_o he_o shall_v perish_v all_o who_o i_o so_o passionate_o love_v confessio_fw-la love_v s._n austin_n review_v this_o work_n in_o his_o retractation_n 2._o l._n 6._o c._n censure_v this_o expression_n quasi_fw-la declamatio_fw-la levis_fw-la potius_fw-la quam_fw-la gravis_fw-la confessio_fw-la chap._n vii_o he_o forsake_v the_o place_n of_o their_o acquaintance_n and_o go_v to_o carthage_n o_o fond_a madness_n that_o know_v not_o how_o to_o love_v man_n men-like_a o_o sottish_a man_n so_o impatient_o take_v to_o heart_n accident_n only_o humane_a such_o as_o poor_a i_o then_o be_v therefore_o i_o storm_v and_o sigh_v and_o weep_v and_o be_v distract_v bereave_v both_o of_o content_n and_o counsel_n for_o i_o carry_v about_o a_o soul_n all_o lacerate_v and_o gore_v in_o blood_n and_o impatient_a long_o to_o be_v carry_v by_o i_o and_o where_o to_o repose_v it_o i_o find_v not_o not_o in_o delightsome_a grove_n nor_o in_o play_n and_o music_n not_o in_o fragrant_a odour_n nor_o in_o exquisite_a banquet_n not_o in_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o chamber_n or_o of_o the_o bed_n not_o in_o book_n or_o poesy_n take_v it_o any_o rest_n all_o thing_n look_v ghastly_a even_o the_o day_n and_o whatever_o it_o be_v that_o be_v not_o he_o importune_v it_o be_v and_o loathsome_a except_o mourning_n and_o tear_n and_o in_o these_o only_a it_o find_v some_o small_a content_n and_o when_o at_o any_o time_n i_o retire_v my_o soul_n from_o these_o i_o be_v re-surcharged_n with_o the_o grievous_a burden_n of_o my_o misery_n which_o be_v only_o to_o be_v lighten_v by_o thou_o o_o lord_n only_o by_o thou_o to_o be_v remove_v and_o i_o know_v this_o but_o yet_o be_v so_o much_o the_o less_o either_o willing_a or_o able_a to_o find_v remedy_n because_o thou_o then_o to_o i_o be_v no_o solid_a or_o stable_a thing_n when_o my_o despair_a thought_n flee_v for_o support_v unto_o thou_o for_o it_o be_v not_o thou_o but_o a_o empty_a phantasm_n and_o my_o own_o error_n that_o be_v my_o god_n whereon_o assay_v â—o_o place_n my_o soul_n that_o it_o may_v find_v some_o stay_n through_o this_o inanity_n it_o still_o relapsed_a and_o again_o come_v roll_v back_o upon_o i_o and_o myself_o remain_v the_o alone_a unhappy_a place_n to_o myself_o where_o i_o can_v neither_o be_v nor_o be_v from_o thence_o for_o whether_o can_v my_o heart_n from_o my_o heart_n fly_v away_o where_o can_v i_o avoid_v myself_o and_o where_o will_v not_o myself_o follow_v i_o and_o yet_o far_o from_o my_o country_n i_o flee_v for_o my_o eye_n less_o miss_v he_o where_o they_o be_v not_o use_v to_o see_v he_o and_o thus_o forsake_v tagaste_n i_o go_v to_o carthage_n chap._n viii_o his_o wound_n eur_v by_o time_n and_o new_a friendship_n time_n do_v not_o lose_v time_n nor_o idle_o roll_v away_o by_o these_o our_o sense_n but_o in_o the_o mind_n produce_v strange_a operation_n behold_v they_o come_v and_o go_v day_n by_o day_n and_o in_o come_v and_o pass_v they_o insinuate_v into_o i_o other_o image_n and_o other_o remembrance_n and_o by_o degree_n repair_v i_o with_o my_o former_o know_a delight_n to_o which_o that_o my_o grief_n at_o length_n give_v place_n but_o there_o succeed_v though_o no_o new_a sorrow_n yet_o the_o cause_n only_o of_o more_o sorrow_n for_o whence_o do_v that_o my_o last_o grief_n so_o easy_o and_o so_o deep_o wound_v i_o but_o because_o i_o have_v spill_v my_o soul_n upon_o a_o bed_n of_o sand_n and_o love_v a_o mortal_a as_o if_o he_o can_v not_o die_v and_o that_o which_o recover_v and_o repair_v i_o of_o this_o be_v but_o like_a solace_n of_o other_o mortal_a friend_n with_o who_o i_o love_v something_o which_o be_v not_o love_v for_o thou_o even_o those_o fabulous_a delusion_n manicheisme_n delusion_n manicheisme_n and_o long-spun_a lie_n by_o the_o adulterous_a touch_n whereof_o our_o lascivient_fw-la mind_n through_o our_o itch_a ear_n become_v still_o more_o defile_v nor_o do_v these_o delusion_n perish_v to_o i_o when_o my_o friend_n do_v beside_o which_o there_o be_v also_o many_o other_o thing_n cement_n together_o our_o affection_n to_o chat_v and_o laugh_v together_o civil_a obsequiousness_n and_o mutual_a compliance_n together_o to_o read_v merry_a book_n to_o jest_v together_o and_o together_o be_v solemn_a to_o dissent_v from_o one_o another_o sometime_o without_o offence_n and_o as_o a_o man_n will_v do_v from_o himself_o and_o by_o this_o disagree_v in_o some_o very_o few_o thing_n to_o season_n and_o relish_v the_o more_o our_o consentment_n in_o the_o rest_n to_o teach_v one_o another_o somewhat_o or_o somewhat_o to_o learn_v to_o expect_v those_o absent_a with_o impatience_n embrace_v their_o return_n with_o joy_n it_o be_v usual_a by_o these_o and_o the_o like_a express_v and_o emanation_n from_o heart_n continual_o reflect_v interchange_v love_n through_o the_o countenance_n through_o the_o tongue_n through_o the_o eye_n and_o through_o a_o thousand_o other_o charm_a motion_n as_o it_o be_v by_o so_o much_o fuel_n heap_v on_o these_o fire_n to_o melt_v down_o soul_n and_o to_o cast_v many_o of_o they_o into_o one_o chap._n ix_o yet_o these_o too_o fail_v he_o and_o this_o be_v it_o that_o be_v love_v in_o a_o friend_n and_o so_o love_v that_o the_o conscience_n be_v self-accused_n in_o any_o who_o continue_v not_o to_o love_v he_o who_o love_v he_o again_o or_o who_o love_v not_o that_o man_n again_o who_o love_v he_o first_o require_v nothing_o from_o his_o body_n but_o only_a demonstration_n of_o his_o affection_n and_o for_o this_o be_v those_o mourning_n if_o one_o die_v and_o night_n of_o sorrow_n and_o a_o languish_a heart_n have_v all_o its_o sweet_n convert_v into_o bitterness_n and_o from_o the_o dear_a loss_n of_o the_o life_n of_o those_o who_o be_v dead_a even_o the_o death_n of_o those_o alive_a but_o alway-blessed_n he_o who_o love_v *_o thou_o and_o in_o thou_o *_o his_o friend_n and_o for_o thou_o *_o his_o eenmy_n for_o he_o alone_o lose_v nothing_o dear_a to_o who_o all_o be_v dear_a only_o in_o he_o who_o he_o never_o lose_v and_o who_o be_v this_o neverlost_a but_o our_o god_n the_o god_n that_o make_v and_o fill_v heaven_n and_o earth_n 17.71_o jer._n 23.24_o ps_n 119.142_o jo._n 17.71_o and_o that_o even_o by_o fill_v they_o make_v they_o thou_o none_o lose_v but_o who_o leave_v and_o who_o so_o leave_v thou_o whither_o go_v he_o or_o whither_o do_v he_o fly_v but_o from_o thou_o gracious_a back_o again_o to_o thou_o offend_v for_o in_o what_o place_n find_v he_o not_o the_o presence_n of_o thy_o law_n in_o his_o punishment_n and_o thy_o law_n be_v truth_n and_o truth_n be_v thyself_o chap._n x._o all_o thing_n love_v beside_o god_n pass_v away_o and_o leave_v the_o lover_n to_o embrace_v sorrow_n 80.19_o ps_n 80.19_o tvrn_v we_o unto_o thou_o o_o god_n of_o power_n show_v we_o the_o beauty_n of_o thy_o countenance_n and_o we_o shall_v be_v whole_a for_o which_o way_n soever_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n turn_v itself_o it_o be_v consign_v unto_o sorrow_n unless_o only_o towards_o thou_o yea_o though_o it_o seize_v upon_o all_o those_o other_o beauty_n that_o be_v out_o of_o itself_o and_o out_o of_o thou_o which_o yet_o can_v be_v none_o at_o all_o unless_o they_o be_v from_o thou_o all_o which_o have_v their_o rise_n and_o their_o set_n their_o spring_n and_o their_o fall_n and_o in_o their_o spring_a they_o begin_v as_o it_o be_v to_o be_v and_o then_o grow_v on_o to_o attain_v perfection_n perfect_v
toothache_n after_o he_o be_v render_v thereby_o speechless_a cap._n 4_o his_o acquaint_v s._n ambrose_n by_o letter_n with_o his_o former_a error_n and_o present_a resolution_n desire_v his_o advice_n what_o part_n of_o scripture_n chief_o he_o shall_v read_v who_o direct_v he_o to_o isaiah_n cap._n 5_o his_o return_n to_o milan_n the_o easter_n follow_v to_o receive_v baptism_n from_o bishop_n ambrose_n together_o with_o his_o son_n adeodate_v and_o alipius_n who_o travel_v thither_o barefoot_a s._n augustine_n ravishment_n and_o melt_a into_o tear_n upon_o hear_v the_o church-service_n and_o music_n cap._n 6_o the_o original_a of_o sing_v the_o church-psalme_n and_o hymn_n at_o milan_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o the_o eastern_a church_n the_o body_n of_o the_o martyr_n gervasius_n and_o protasius_n discover_v to_o s._n ambrose_n by_o divine_a revelation_n find_a uncorrupted_a many_o miracle_n do_v by_o they_o whereby_o the_o fury_n of_o the_o arrian_n empress_n towards_o s._n ambrose_n and_o the_o catholic_n be_v much_o lenify_v cap._n 7_o s._n augustine_n return_n by_o rome_n for_o africa_n the_o death_n of_o his_o mother_n in_o italy_n at_o ostia_n a_o description_n of_o her_o pious_a education_n and_o life_n cap._n 8_o her_o dutiful_a deportment_n towards_o and_z at_o last_o conversion_n of_o her_o husband_n patricius_n to_o profess_v the_o christian_a faith_n cap._n 9_o the_o discourse_n between_o he_o and_o his_o mother_n at_o ostia_n some_o few_o day_n before_o her_o sickness_n concern_v the_o felicity_n of_o the_o next_o life_n her_o desire_n of_o death_n cap._n 10_o her_o sickness_n death_n careless_a of_o her_o funeral_n only_o desire_v from_o they_o a_o remembrance_n of_o she_o at_o the_o altar_n of_o the_o lord_n cap._n 11_o s._n austin_n refrain_v from_o weep_v though_o suffer_v much_o inward_a grief_n to_o which_o after_o her_o burial_n he_o indulge_v some_o tear_n cap._n 12_o his_o prayer_n for_o his_o decease_a mother_n monica_n and_o father_n patricius_n cap._n 13_o lib_fw-la x._o in_o this_o book_n s._n austin_n make_v confession_n of_o the_o several_a lapse_n and_o infirmity_n of_o his_o present_a condition_n since_o his_o regeneration_n by_o baptism_n cap._n 1_o the_o end_n and_o fruit_n of_o confess_v his_o present_a condition_n mental_o to_o god_n cap._n 2_o the_o end_n and_o fruit_n of_o his_o confess_v his_o present_a condition_n public_o before_o man_n cap._n 3_o yet_o not_o able_a to_o see_v or_o confess_v all_o of_o himself_o which_o god_n see_v in_o he_o cap._n 5_o description_n of_o his_o present_a condition_n in_o the_o state_n of_o grace_n that_o he_o now_o true_o love_v god_n concern_v who_o he_o proceed_v to_o examine_v what_o it_o be_v he_o love_v when_o he_o say_v that_o he_o love_v god_n that_o it_o be_v *_o no_n object_n of_o sense_n *_o no_o part_n of_o the_o visible_a world_n abroad_o *_o no_o part_n or_o faculty_n within_o himself_o cap._n 6_o neither_o the_o vegetative_a nor_o yet_o the_o sensitive_a cap._n 7_o nor_o yet_o the_o more_o interior_a and_o most_o admirablâ—_n faculty_n of_o the_o memory_n the_o many_o wonder_n of_o which_o to_o the_o great_a glory_n of_o the_o maker_n thereof_o he_o most_o subtle_o discourse_v unto_o the_o 26_o chapter_n cap._n 8_o etc._n etc._n that_o god_n who_o he_o love_v is*_n something_o within_o but_o yet_o above_o his_o soul_n *_o not_o confine_v by_o place_n omnipresent_v etc._n etc._n cap._n 26_o that_o though_o he_o now_o true_o love_v god_n abstract_v from_o and_o far_o above_o all_o other_o creature_n and_o also_o above_o himself_o cap._n 27_o yet_o he_o enjoy_v not_o as_o yet_o a_o perfect_a union_n unto_o he_o but_o have_v a_o perpetual_a combat_n with_o many_o other_o false_a joy_n and_o grief_n and_o fear_n cap._n 28_o not_o have_v yet_o a_o perfect_a continency_n in_o respect_n of_o all_o other_o object_n beside_o god_n but_o extend_v some_o undue_a attention_n and_o affection_n unto_o they_o cap._n 29_o he_o examine_v himself_o and_o confess_v his_o present_a infirmity_n in_o the_o several_a branch_n of_o concupiscence_n 1_o john_n 2.16_o 1._o the_o lust_n of_o the_o flesh_n 2._o the_o lust_n of_o the_o eye_n 3._o the_o pride_n of_o life_n and_o here_o he_o confess_v 1._o his_o remain_a infirmity_n concern_v the_o temptation_n of_o the_o lust_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o among_o these_o 1._o concern_v the_o temptation_n of_o the_o touch_n relate_v to_o carnal_a concubinage_n cap._n 30_o 2._o concern_v the_o temptation_n of_o the_o taste_n in_o eat_v and_o drink_v cap._n 31_o 3._o concern_v the_o temptation_n of_o the_o smell_n in_o sweet_a odour_n and_o perfume_n cap._n 32_o 4._o concern_v the_o temptation_n of_o the_o ear_n in_o music_n where_o whether_o music_n be_v useful_a in_o church_n cap._n 33_o 5._o concern_v the_o temptation_n of_o the_o eye_n in_o splendid_a fair_a and_o well_o proportion_v object_n cap._n 34_o 2._o his_o remain_a infirmity_n concern_v the_o temptation_n of_o the_o lust_n of_o the_o eye_n or_o curiosity_n of_o vain_a science_n cap._n 35_o 3._o his_o remain_a infirmity_n concern_v the_o temptation_n of_o the_o pride_n of_o life_n the_o great_a danger_n of_o vain-glorying_a â–³_o incur_v from_o the_o approbation_n and_o praise_n of_o man_n cap._n 36_o which_o be_v not_o avoidable_o to_o well-doing_n cap._n 37_o â–³_o incur_v also_o from_o the_o contemn_v of_o praise_n as_o this_o also_o be_v a_o thing_n praiseworthy_a cap._n 38_o â–³_o incur_v also_o from_o self-love_n and_o self-conceit_n without_o regard_n to_o praise_v of_o other_o cap._n 39_o a_o recapitulation_n of_o the_o thing_n former_o speak_v in_o this_o book·_fw-la s._n augustine_n sometime_o extraordinary_a transportment_n in_o the_o contemplation_n and_o love_n of_o god_n cap._n 40_o 41_o his_o recourse_n for_o a_o remedy_n to_o all_o these_o his_o malady_n not_o *_o to_o evil_a angel_n or_o demon_n with_o the_o platonist_n or_o other_o practise_v evil_a art_n as_o mediator_n between_o god_n and_o man_n because_o sinner_n like_o man_n spirit_n like_o god_n cap._n 42_o but_o *_o to_o christ_n who_o be_v the_o only_a true_a mediator_n mortal_a like_o man_n righteous_a like_o god_n through_o who_o else_o desperate_a he_o confident_o hope_v a_o perfect_a cure_n of_o all_o his_o disease_n cap._n 43_o the_o end_n and_o purpose_n of_o these_o his_o confession_n cap._n 44_o the_o confession_n of_o s._n augustine_n declare_v the_o story_n of_o his_o life_n lib_fw-la i._o chap._n i._n cap._n 1_o invocation_n and_o praise_n of_o god_n so_o great_a so_o incomprehensible_a and_o yet_o so_o near_o and_o intimate_v to_o his_o creature_n and_o require_v of_o man_n so_o vile_a a_o thing_n by_o sin_n to_o love_v to_o invocate_v to_o praise_v and_o to_o confess_v unto_o he_o this_o in_o the_o five_o chapter_n follow_v great_a be_v thou_o o_o lord_n and_o exceed_o to_o be_v praise_v 147.5_o psal_n 145.3_o &_o 147.5_o great_a be_v thy_o power_n and_o thy_o wisdom_n be_v infinite_a and_o yet_o man_n presume_v to_o praise_v thou_o be_v a_o piece_n of_o thy_o creation_n poor_a man_n that_o bear_v about_o he_o now_o mortality_n that_o bear_v about_o this_o sad_a remembrancer_n of_o his_o sin_n and_o this_o inherent_a witness_n that_o thou_o o_o god_n resiste_v the_o proud_a 4.6_o jam._n 4.6_o yet_o man_n desire_v to_o praise_v thou_o as_o a_o piece_n of_o thy_o creation_n and_o this_o his_o delight_n to_o praise_v thou_o also_o flow_v from_o thou_o because_o thou_o make_v he_o for_o thou_o and_o his_o heart_n be_v restless_a until_o it_o repose_v in_o thou_o teach_v i_o therefore_o now_o o_o lord_n this_o my_o duty_n towards_o thou_o and_o which_o ought_v to_o precede_v that_o to_o call_v upon_o thou_o or_o that_o to_o give_v praise_n unto_o thou_o and_o again_o which_o be_v first_o to_o know_v thou_o or_o to_o call_v upon_o thou_o but_o who_o be_v he_o that_o call_v upon_o thou_o and_o do_v not_o first_o know_v thou_o for_o so_o he_o may_v address_v his_o prayer_n to_o something_o else_o instead_o of_o thou_o and_o yet_o call_v we_o not_o also_o upon_o thou_o that_o thou_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o let_v we_o know_v thou_o 7.7_o rom._n 10.14_o psal_n 22.26_o mat._n 7.7_o but_o again_o it_o be_v say_v how_o shall_v they_o call_v on_o he_o on_o who_o they_o have_v not_o believe_v and_o how_o shall_v they_o believe_v without_o a_o preacher_n and_o they_o shall_v praise_v the_o lord_n that_o first_o seek_v after_o he_o for_o they_o that_o seek_v shall_v find_v he_o and_o they_o that_o find_v shall_v praise_v he_o let_v i_o then_o first_o seek_v thou_o o_o lord_n by_o call_v upon_o thou_o and_o call_v upon_o thou_o from_o believe_v in_o thou_o because_o unto_o we_o also_o have_v thou_o be_v preach_v my_o faith_n therefore_o now_o call_v upon_o thou_o o_o lord_n thy_o gift_n which_o thou_o have_v inspire_v into_o i_o by_o the_o
do_v unto_o i_o *_o by_o vain_a man_n only_o take_v with_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o die_a life_n by_o some_o on_o one_o side_n do_v mad_a thing_n and_o some_o on_o the_o other_o side_n promise_v vain_a *_o and_o thus_o to_o reform_v my_o present_a ill_a course_n thou_o secret_o make_v use_v of_o both_o their_o and_o my_o own_o faulty_a inclination_n for_o both_o those_o who_o thus_o disturb_v my_o quiet_n be_v blind_v with_o a_o sottish_a madness_n and_o those_o who_o invite_v my_o removal_n favour_v only_o earthly_a advantage_n and_o myself_o who_o loathe_v my_o present_a misery_n yet_o court_v elsewhere_o but_o a_o false_a felicity_n but_o another_o end_n why_o i_o shall_v leave_v this_o place_n and_o go_v to_o that_o thou_o then_o well_o know_v my_o god_n neither_o show_v thou_o it_o to_o i_o nor_o to_o my_o mother_n who_o miserable_o lament_v my_o departure_n and_o follow_v i_o to_o the_o seaside_n that_o either_o she_o may_v yet_o reduce_v or_o else_o herself_o also_o accompany_v i_o and_o i_o feign_v that_o my_o design_n be_v only_o to_o accompany_v a_o friend_n till_o he_o have_v a_o favourable_a wind_n for_o his_o embarquement_n and_o shall_v put_v to_o sea_n and_o thus_o i_o lie_v to_o my_o mother_n and_o to_o such_o a_o mother_n and_o get_v away_o from_o she_o nevertheless_o thou_o in_o thy_o great_a mercy_n do_v not_o instant_o revenge_v this_o fault_n upon_o i_o but_o save_v i_o from_o the_o water_n of_o the_o sea_n a_o soul_n so_o stain_v with_o execrable_a filthiness_n unto_o the_o baptismal_a water_n of_o thy_o grace_n with_o which_o i_o be_v once_o wash_v and_o make_v clean_o those_o river_n also_o of_o my_o mother_n eye_n may_v be_v dry_v up_o which_o from_o her_o sad_a face_n daily_o water_v the_o ground_n under_o her_o foot_n pour_v out_o unto_o thou_o in_o my_o behalf_n there_o she_o refuse_v upon_o any_o term_n to_o return_v back_o without_o i_o i_o with_o much_o ado_n persuade_v she_o for_o that_o night_n to_o take_v some_o rest_n in_o a_o place_n that_o be_v very_o near_o to_o our_o ship_n be_v relic_n be_v a_o oratory_n dedicate_v to_o s._n cyprian_n where_o be_v conserve_v some_o of_o his_o relic_n a_o memorial_n of_o st._n cyprian_n but_o that_o same_o night_n i_o steal_v away_o to_o sea_n and_o she_o be_v leave_v there_o pray_v and_o weep_v and_o what_o be_v it_o that_o with_o so_o many_o tear_n she_o beg_v of_o thou_o but_o that_o thou_o will_v put_v a_o let_v to_o that_o voyage_n but_o thou_o deep_a in_o thy_o counsel_n and_o yield_v then_o also_o unto_o she_o in_o the_o sum_n of_o her_o desire_n regard_v she_o not_o in_o the_o particular_a she_o then_o request_v of_o thou_o that_o so_o in_o a_o high_a manner_n thou_o may_v accomplish_v it_o in_o the_o main_a thing_n for_o which_o she_o always_o petition_v thou_o the_o wind_n blow_v fair_a and_o swell_v our_o sail_n and_o the_o shore_n withdraw_v itself_o from_o our_o sight_n whither_o my_o mother_n be_v return_v next_o morning_n to_o seek_v i_o be_v now_o overwhelm_v with_o grief_n and_o fill_v thy_o ear_n with_o groan_n and_o complaint_n thy_o ear_n that_o despise_v her_o moan_n whilst_o by_o the_o the_o mean_n of_o my_o lust_n thou_o hurry_v i_o away_o to_o put_v a_o end_n to_o those_o very_a lust_n and_o chastise_v this_o her_o too_o carnal_a affection_n to_o i_o with_o a_o just_a scourge_n of_o sorrow_n for_o she_o as_o other_o mother_n do_v but_o much_o more_o than_o many_o do_v love_v and_o desire_v my_o corporal_a presence_n with_o she_o and_o know_v not_o how_o much_o joy_n thou_o be_v prepare_v for_o she_o out_o of_o that_o my_o absence_n she_o know_v it_o not_o then_o and_o therefore_o mourn_v and_o weep_v and_o show_v the_o relic_n of_o eve_n in_o she_o seek_v thus_o with_o sorrow_n what_o with_o sorrow_n she_o have_v bring_v forth_o at_o last_o after_o a_o sad_a accusation_n of_o that_o my_o cozenage_n and_o cruel_a behaviour_n towards_o a_o mother_n return_v again_o to_o her_o prayer_n to_o deprecate_v thou_o for_o that_o my_o fault_n she_o go_v about_o her_o accustom_a affair_n and_o i_o towards_o rome_n chap._n ix_o come_v to_o rome_n he_o be_v strike_v with_o a_o dangerous_a fever_n the_o recovery_n from_o which_o he_o impute_v to_o his_o mother_n prayer_n and_o lo_o there_o present_o i_o be_o smite_v with_o a_o rod_n of_o corporal_a sickness_n and_o now_o be_o go_v post_n to_o the_o place_n below_o carry_v with_o i_o all_o those_o evil_n i_o have_v commit_v against_o thou_o and_o myself_o and_o other_o many_z and_o grievous_a beside_o the_o chain_n of_o original_a guilt_n by_o which_o we_o all_o die_v in_o adam_n for_o as_o yet_o thou_o have_v remit_v nothing_o unto_o i_o in_o christ_n nor_o have_v he_o yet_o slay_v that_o enmity_n by_o his_o cross_n which_o by_o my_o sin_n i_o have_v incur_v with_o thou_o for_o how_o can_v he_o take_v they_o away_o by_o that_o only-phantastical_a cross_n of_o he_o which_o i_o believe_v how_o false_a therefore_o at_o that_o time_n the_o death_n of_o his_o flesh_n seem_v to_o i_o so_o true_a be_v the_o death_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o how_o true_a the_o death_n of_o his_o flesh_n be_v indeed_o so_o false_a be_v the_o life_n of_o my_o soul_n which_o then_o do_v not_o credit_v it_o and_o thus_o my_o fever_n much_o increase_n i_o now_o approach_v to_o the_o very_a point_n of_o die_a and_o of_o die_v eternal_o for_o whither_o have_v i_o go_v if_o i_o have_v dye_v then_o but_o into_o flame_n and_o torment_n suitable_a to_o my_o deed_n according_a to_o the_o settle_a truth_n of_o thy_o ordinance_n concern_v we_o and_o my_o poâ—r_a mother_n know_v nothing_o of_o this_o yet_o do_v i_o absent_a enjoy_v her_o prayer_n and_o thou_o omnipresent_v where_o she_o be_v give_v ear_n unto_o she_o and_o where_o i_o be_v have_v pity_n on_o i_o in_o restore_v i_o again_o to_o the_o health_n of_o my_o body_n though_o still_o sick_a and_o much_o distemper_v in_o a_o sacrilegious_a mind_n for_o neither_o do_v i_o so_o much_o as_o desire_v thy_o baptism_n in_o that_o my_o great_a peril_n and_o much_o better_o affect_v i_o be_v when_o i_o be_v yet_o a_o child_n and_o earnest_o request_v it_o of_o my_o mother_n piety_n as_o i_o have_v before_o recite_v and_o confess_v but_o as_o i_o grow_v big_a so_o i_o grow_v worse_a and_o mad_o deride_v the_o prescription_n of_o this_o thy_o medicine_n who_o yet_o permit_v i_o not_o when_o in_o such_o a_o case_n so_o to_o die_v a_o double_a death_n which_o have_v it_o happen_v my_o mother_n heart_n also_o will_v have_v receive_v a_o wound_n incurable_a for_o i_o can_v express_v the_o great_a affection_n she_o bear_v i_o nor_o with_o how_o much_o more_o sorrow_n and_o pain_n she_o travelled-again_a of_o i_o to_o bring_v i_o forth_o *_o in_o the_o spirit_n than_o she_o have_v former_o do_v at_o her_o childbearing_n *_o in_o the_o flesh_n i_o see_v not_o therefore_o how_o ever_o she_o shall_v have_v be_v cure_v if_o these_o bowel_n of_o her_o love_n have_v be_v once_o pierce_v with_o such_o a_o sad_a end_n of_o my_o life_n and_o then_o what_o will_v have_v become_v of_o so_o many_o and_o so_o passionate_a prayer_n without_o intermission_n annotation_n intermission_n nusquam_fw-la insi_fw-fr the_o same_o as_o nusquam_fw-la non_fw-la see_v m._n wat_n his_o annotation_n in_o all_o place_n make_v by_o she_o unto_o thou_o can_v thou_o a_o god_n of_o mercy_n despise_v the_o contrite_a and_o humble_a heart_n of_o a_o desolate_a widow_n so_o chaste_a and_o so_o sober_a so_o abound_v in_o almsdeed_n so_o dutiful_a and_o officious_a to_o thy_o saint_n no_o day_n omit_v her_o oblation_n at_o thy_o altar_n twice_o in_o the_o day_n morning_n and_o evening_n without_o intermission_n come_v to_o thy_o church_n not_o for_o vain_a chat_n and_o idle_a tale_n but_o that_o she_o may_v hear_v thou_o in_o thy_o word_n &_o thou_o she_o in_o her_o prayer_n by_o thou_o then_o can_v the_o tear_n of_o such_o a_o one_o wherewith_o she_o beg_v of_o thou_o neither_o silver_n nor_o gold_n nor_o any_o mutable_a or_o fade_a good_a but_o only_o the_o safety_n of_o the_o soul_n of_o her_o poor_a son_n can_v the_o tear_n of_o such_o a_o one_o by_o thou_o who_o make_v she_o such_o be_v neglect_v and_o contemn_v and_o fail_v of_o thy_o help_n no_o lord_n yea_o thou_o be_v present_a and_o hear_v and_o do_v her_o request_n according_a to_o the_o order_n of_o thy_o own_o predesignment_n of_o they_o to_o be_v do_v farr_n be_v it_o from_o thou_o that_o thou_o shall_v deceive_v she_o in_o those_o vision_n of_o she_o or_o answer_n of_o thou_o some_o already_o relate_v some_o omit_v by_o i_o which_o pre-engagement_n from_o thou_o she_o treasure_v up_o in_o a_o believe_a
least_o consideration_n only_o i_o knâ—w_v from_o what_o be_v story_v of_o he_o concern_v his_o eat_n drink_v sleep_a rejoice_v sorrow_a discourse_v &c_n &c_n that_o *_o humane_a flesh_n be_v not_o unite_v unto_o thy_o word_n alone_o which_o be_v the_o apollinarian_a error_n but_o together_o with_o it_o *_o a_o humane_a both_o sensitive_a and_o rational_a soul_n and_o i_o hold_v that_o he_o be_v to_o be_v prefer_v before_o all_o other_o not_o *_o as_o be_v the_o very_a person_n of_o the_o truth_n but_o *_o from_o a_o certain_a very_o great_a excellency_n of_o his_o humane_a nature_n and_o from_o his_o more_o perfect_a participation_n of_o the_o divine_a wisdom_n but_o alipius_n imagine_v the_o catholic_n to_o believe_v god_n clothe_v with_o flesh_n in_o such_o a_o manner_n as_o that_o beside_o the_o deity_n and_o the_o flesh_n of_o man_n there_o be_v in_o christ_n no_o soul_n or_o mind_n of_o a_o man_n and_o because_o he_o hold_v it_o for_o certain_a that_o the_o thing_n record_v of_o he_o can_v not_o be_v perform_v but_o by_o a_o creature_n both_o vital_a and_o rational_a therefore_o he_o make_v somewhat_o a_o slow_a progress_n towards_o the_o christian_a faith_n but_o afterward_o know_v this_o to_o be_v the_o heresy_n of_o the_o apollinarist_n he_o much_o congratulate_v and_o ready_o entertain_v the_o catholic_n belief_n and_o for_o myself_o i_o confess_v i_o learn_v not_o till_o afterward_o how_o in_o the_o manner_n of_o the_o word_n be_v make_v flesh_n and_o in_o the_o mystery_n of_o the_o incarnation_n the_o catholic_n truth_n be_v distinguish_v from_o the_o photinian_a error_n for_o the_o opposition_n and_o contest_v of_o heretic_n more_o illustrate_v the_o sound_a doctrine_n of_o the_o church_n and_o there_o must_v be_v also_o heresy_n 19_o 1_o cor._n 11_o 19_o that_o they_o which_o be_v approve_v may_v be_v make_v manifest_a among_o the_o weak_a and_o infirm_a chap._n xx._n though_o from_o the_o platonic_a writing_n he_o become_v assure_v of_o many_o divine_a truth_n yet_o these_o book_n breed_v pride_n in_o he_o and_o not_o humility_n upon_o read_v these_o writing_n of_o the_o platonist_n be_v already_o instruct_v to_o seek_v after_o a_o verity_n incorporeal_a and_o disengage_v of_o body_n i_o behold_v thy_o invisible_a thing_n understand_v by_o the_o thing_n which_o be_v make_v and_o be_v repulse_v have_v a_o glimpse_n only_o of_o that_o which_o by_o reason_n of_o the_o darkness_n of_o my_o soul_n i_o can_v not_o more_o full_o contemplate_v be_v thus_o far_o assure_v that_o thou_o be_v and_o be_v infinite_a yet_o without_o any_o diffusion_n of_o thou_o either_o through_o finite_a or_o infinite_a space_n and_o that_o thou_o only_o have_v true_a be_v and_o always_o the_o same_o be_v in_o no_o part_n of_o thou_o by_o any_o motion_n mutable_a and_o that_o all_o other_o in_o that_o they_o be_v be_v from_o thou_o these_o thing_n i_o be_v then_o assure_v of_o concern_v thou_o but_o yet_o far_o too_o infirm_a to_o enjoy_v thou_o and_o i_o *_o talk_v as_o one_o that_o have_v knowledge_n when_o as_o have_v i_o not_o fight_v out_o the_o way_n to_o thou_o in_o christ_n our_o saviour_n i_o have_v be_v eternal_o lose_v and_o *_o begin_v to_o affect_v the_o seem_a wise_a be_v full_a of_o my_o punishment_n and_o i_o deplore_v not_o this_o my_o misery_n but_o be_v also_o puff_v up_o and_o exalt_v with_o my_o science_n 8.1_o 1_o cor._n 8.1_o but_o where_o be_v that_o charity_n edify_v on_o the_o foundation_n of_o humility_n which_o be_v christ_n jesus_n or_o when_o can_v these_o book_n have_v learn_v i_o that_o to_o which_o writing_n i_o suppose_v thou_o guide_v i_o before_o any_o study_v of_o thy_o scripture_n that_o my_o memory_n may_v afterward_o reflect_v on_o the_o affection_n they_o cause_v in_o i_o and_o that_o when_o i_o shall_v be_v assuage_v and_o humble_v afterward_o in_o peruse_v thy_o book_n and_o my_o sore_n have_v be_v dress_v by_o thy_o all-healing_a hand_n i_o may_v discern_v and_o distinguish_v between_o blind_a presumption_n and_o humble_a confession_n between_o those_o who_o see_v to_o what_o place_n they_o shall_v go_v but_o see_v not_o what_o way_n and_o those_o who_o enjoy_v the_o way_n itself_o lead_v into_o that_o beatifical_a country_n not_o to_o be_v see_v only_o by_o they_o but_o inhabit_v for_o have_v i_o be_v first_o institute_v in_o thy_o holy_a book_n and_o thou_o in_o their_o familiar_a entertainment_n have_v there_o grow_v sweet_a and_o dear_a unto_o i_o and_o then_o afterward_o i_o have_v happen_v on_o these_o volume_n perhaps_o either_o their_o novelty_n last_o look_v on_o may_v have_v remove_v i_o in_o something_o from_o the_o foundation_n of_o piety_n or_o in_o my_o retain_v steadfast_a still_o the_o save_a principle_n and_o affection_n i_o have_v imbibe_v from_o thence_o yet_o i_o may_v have_v think_v that_o those_o other_o book_n though_o alone_o study_v may_v have_v produce_v the_o like_a chap._n xxi_o he_o last_o betake_v himself_o to_o read_v of_o the_o scripture_n especial_o those_o of_o s._n paul_n where_o he_o find_v the_o advancement_n of_o god_n grace_n and_o salvation_n through_o jesus_n christ_n to_o the_o penitent_a and_o humble_a after_o these_o therefore_o with_o a_o extraordinary_a ardour_n i_o betake_v myself_o to_o the_o venerable_a stile_n of_o thy_o spirit_n and_o above_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o apostle_n to_o the_o writing_n of_o s._n paul_n and_o those_o scruple_n present_o vanish_v wherein_o his_o discourse_n have_v sometime_o seem_v to_o i_o contradictory_n to_o itself_o and_o also_o not_o agree_v with_o the_o testimony_n of_o the_o law_n and_o the_o prophet_n and_o now_o it_o appear_v one_o uniform_a piece_n of_o chaste_a and_o pure_a doctrine_n and_o i_o learned_a to_o rejoice_v in_o they_o with_o reverence_n and_o tremble_a and_o i_o attempt_v they_o and_o find_v what_o truth_n i_o have_v read_v in_o the_o other_o book_n to_o be_v say_v here_o also_o but_o with_o great_a recommendation_n and_o advance_v of_o thy_o grace_n *_o that_o he_o who_o see_v shall_v not_o boast_v as_o though_o he_o have_v not_o receive_v both_o that_o which_o he_o see_v and_o that_o he_o see_v it_o 4.7_o 1_o cor._n 4.7_o for_o what_o thing_n have_v any_o which_o he_o have_v not_o receive_v and_o *_o that_o he_o must_v by_o thou_o who_o be_v always_o the_o same_o not_o only_o be_v admonish_v and_o instruct_v that_o he_o may_v see_v but_o also_o his_o infirmity_n be_v heal_v that_o he_o may_v possess_v and_o *_o that_o he_o who_o be_v yet_o afar_o off_o can_v see_v yet_o aught_o to_o walk_v in_o the_o way_n whereby_o he_o may_v come_v to_o approach_v near_o and_o to_o see_v and_o possess_v 7._o rom._n 7._o because_o indeed_o though_o a_o man_n delight_n in_o the_o law_n of_o god_n after_o the_o inward_a man_n yet_o what_o shall_v he_o do_v concern_v the_o other_o law_n in_o his_o member_n warâ—ing_v against_o the_o law_n of_o his_o mind_n and_o bring_v he_o into_o captivity_n to_o the_o law_n of_o sin_n which_o be_v in_o his_o member_n because_o that_o thou_o arâ—_n just_a 9.5_o dan._n 9.5_o o_o lord_n and_o we_o have_v sin_v 9.5_o dan._n 9.5_o and_o do_v wicked_o and_o behave_v ourselves_o impious_o and_o therefore_o thy_o hand_n be_v heavy_a upon_o we_o and_o we_o be_v just_o deliver_v over_o to_o that_o old_a sinner_n 2.14_o heb._n 2.14_o the_o precedent_n and_o prince_n of_o death_n because_o he_o persuade_v unto_o our_o will_n a_o conformity_n unto_o his_o will_n which_o remain_v not_o steadfast_a in_o thy_o truth_n and_o now_o wretched_a man_n that_o he_o be_v what_o shall_v he_o do_v for_o who_o shall_v deliver_v he_o from_o the_o body_n of_o this_o death_n but_o thy_o grace_n through_o jesus_n christ_n our_o lord_n 2.14_o prov._n 8.22_o john_n 14_o 30._o col._n 2.14_o who_o thou_o have_v beget_v coeternal_a with_o thyself_o and_o have_v possess_v in_o the_o begin_n of_o thy_o way_n in_o who_o the_o prince_n of_o this_o world_n find_v nothing_o worthy_a of_o death_n and_o yet_o slâ—w_v he_o by_o who_o death_n for_o we_o be_v cancel_v the_o hand-writing_n which_o be_v against_o we_o those_o other_o learning_n contain_v none_o of_o these_o matter_n those_o page_n present_v no_o such_o scene_n of_o piety_n as_o this_o viz._n the_o teaâ—s_v of_o confession_n thy_o acceptable_a sacrifice_n a_o afflict_a spirit_n a_o humble_a and_o câ—nâ—â—iâ—e_a heart_n the_o salvation_n of_o mankind_n the_o celestial_a bridal-city_n the_o present_a earnest_n of_o the_o spirit_n the_o precious_a cup_n of_o our_o redemption_n no_o ravish_a spirit_n there_o break_v out_o into_o such_o a_o song_n true_o my_o soul_n wait_v upon_o god_n 62.1_o psal_n 62.1_o for_o from_o he_o come_v my_o salvation_n he_o only_o be_v my_o rock_n and_o my_o salvation_n he_o be_v my_o undertaker_n no_o more_o shall_v i_o be_v move_v
when_o as_o a_o just_a punishment_n it_o follow_v my_o former_a fault_n and_o now_o there_o remain_v no_o more_o that_o excuse_v in_o which_o i_o former_o please_v myself_o that_o therefore_o i_o yet_o forsake_v not_o the_o world_n to_o serve_v thou_o because_o clear_a truth_n be_v not_o yet_o discover_v unto_o i_o for_o now_o be_v it_o also_o make_v clear_a enough_o and_o yet_o i_o still_o fetter_v refuse_v to_o fight_v under_o thy_o colour_n and_o so_o much_o fear_v to_o be_v free_v from_o my_o impediment_n as_o to_o have_v such_o impediment_n aught_o to_o be_v fear_v the_o burden_n of_o secular_a affection_n as_o the_o pressure_n of_o sleep_n sweet_o keep_v i_o down_o and_o the_o thought_n wherein_o i_o meditate_a on_o thou_o be_v like_o the_o struggling_n of_o one_o that_o will_v fain_o awaken_v himself_o yet_o be_v still_o surprise_v with_o his_o drowsiness_n and_o relapse_v into_o his_o former_a slumber_n and_o as_o though_o none_o will_v wish_v always_o to_o sleep_v but_o all_o of_o any_o sound_a judgement_n do_v much_o prefer_v vigilancy_n yet_o many_o time_n from_o a_o benumb_a laziness_n in_o his_o hâ—â—bs_n one_o deferr_v to_o shake_v it_o off_o and_o still_o more_o la_o entertain_v what_o already_o displease_v he_o when_o it_o be_v high_a time_n for_o he_o to_o get_v up_o so_o be_v i_o satisfy_v that_o it_o be_v better_a to_o â—esâ—gâ—_n myself_o to_o thy_o love_n than_o thus_o to_o yield_v to_o my_o own_o lust_n but_o as_o the_o one_o i_o approve_v and_o be_v convince_v by_o it_o so_o the_o other_o i_o affect_v and_o be_v captivate_v by_o it_o for_o nothing_o have_v i_o then_o to_o reply_v unto_o thou_o when_o thou_o say_v unto_o i_o aâ—ise_v 5.14_o ephes_n 5.14_o thou_o that_o sleep_v and_o stand_v up_o from_o among_o the_o dead_a and_o christ_n shall_v illuminate_v thou_o and_o when_o thou_o on_o every_o side_n shewede_v i_o that_o thou_o speak_v truth_n i_o have_v nothing_o to_o answer_v now_o convince_v with_o truth_n but_o some_o sleepy_a and_o 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alipius_n a_o visit_n occasional_o relate_v the_o story_n of_o s._n antony_n and_o how_o two_o of_o his_o fellow-courtier_n upon_o the_o read_n thereof_o in_o the_o same_o moment_n renounce_v the_o world_n though_o have_v engage_v to_o mistress_n and_o betake_v themselves_o to_o a_o solitary_a life_n and_o now_o i_o will_v declare_v and_o confess_v to_o thy_o name_n o_o lord_n my_o helper_n and_o my_o redeemer_n how_o thy_o goodness_n free_v i_o â–³_o from_o that_o bond_n of_o the_o desire_n of_o a_o woman_n which_o tie_v i_o very_o straight_o as_o likewise_o â–³_o from_o the_o hindrance_n and_o servitude_n of_o secular_a affair_n i_o perform_v my_o former_a wont_a employment_n with_o a_o continually-growing_a anxiety_n and_o sigh_v daily_o after_o thou_o i_o frequent_v thy_o church_n as_o often_o as_o there_o be_v any_o vacancy_n from_o those_o affair_n under_o the_o pressure_n of_o which_o i_o then_o live_v there_o be_v alipius_n with_o i_o now_o after_o the_o three_o session_n 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that_o he_o may_v so_o avoid_v all_o inquietude_n of_o mind_n which_o he_o desire_v to_o have_v free_a and_o as_o often_o as_o may_v be_v vacant_a for_o to_o meditate_v or_o read_v or_o hear_v something_o concern_v wisdom_n now_o on_o a_o certain_a day_n when_o nebridius_fw-la be_v absent_a i_o remember_v not_o on_o what_o occasion_n there_o come_v to_o our_o house_n to_o i_o and_o alipius_n one_o pontitianus_n our_o countryman_n a_o african_a who_o serve_v in_o honourable_a place_n in_o the_o emperor_n court_n i_o know_v not_o what_o his_o business_n be_v but_o we_o sit_v down_o to_o entertain_v some_o discourse_n and_o by_o chance_n cast_v his_o eye_n on_o a_o book_n that_o lie_v on_o a_o billyard-table_n which_o stand_v before_o we_o he_o take_v it_o up_o open_v it_o and_o find_v it_o to_o be_v the_o epistle_n of_o the_o apostle_n paul_n much_o contrary_n to_o his_o expectation_n for_o he_o imagine_v it_o some_o book_n belong_v to_o that_o profession_n which_o then_o spend_v most_o of_o my_o time_n but_o then_o smiling_z and_z after_o a_o glad_a and_o gratulatory_a manner_n look_v upon_o i_o he_o express_v his_o wonder_n that_o he_o thus_o find_v those_o and_o only_o those_o writing_n before_o i_o for_o a_o christian_n he_o be_v and_o a_o baptize_v professor_n of_o the_o faith_n and_o who_o often_o prostrate_v himself_o before_o thou_o our_o god_n in_o the_o church_n with_o frequent_a and_o long-continued_a prayer_n to_o who_o when_o i_o have_v reply_v that_o now_o my_o great_a study_n be_v of_o those_o writing_n he_o begin_v some_o speech_n of_o one_o antonius_n a_o egyptian_a monk_n who_o name_n be_v very_o famous_a among_o thy_o servant_n but_o to_o that_o hour_n unknown_a to_o we_o which_o he_o perceive_v stay_v long_o on_o that_o discourse_n inform_v and_o wonder_v at_o our_o ignorance_n concern_v so_o eminent_a a_o person_n and_o much_o be_v we_o astonish_v when_o we_o hear_v those_o so_o strongly-witnessed_n wonder_v of_o thou_o in_o the_o true_a faith_n and_o in_o the_o catholic_n church_n to_o be_v do_v so_o late_o and_o almost_o in_o our_o own_o day_n all_o of_o we_o wonder_v we_o that_o they_o be_v so_o great_a and_o he_o that_o they_o be_v so_o unknown_a to_o we_o thence_o he_o enlarge_v his_o discourse_n concern_v *_o the_o multitude_n of_o religious_a in_o monastery_n there_o *_o their_o holy_a custom_n and_o manner_n of_o their_o life_n of_o a_o sweet-smelling_a savour_n unto_o thou_o and_z *_o the_o fruitful_a breast_n of_o those_o barren_a desert_n of_o all_o which_o we_o have_v hear_v nothing_o and_o there_o be_v also_o a_o monastery_n at_o milan_n without_o the_o city-wall_n full_a of_o good_a friar_n under_o the_o maintenance_n and_o government_n of_o ambrose_n and_o we_o be_v ignorant_a of_o it_o also_o and_o he_o continue_v his_o discourse_n and_o we_o attentive_o silent_a further_o tell_v we_o that_o when_o the_o court_n be_v at_o trier_n one_o afternoon_n when_o the_o emperor_n be_v entertain_v with_o some_o public_a sport_n in_o the_o circus_n he_o and_o three_o other_o of_o his_o companion_n go_v a_o walk_n into_o some_o garden_n not_o far_o from_o the_o city-wall_n and_o there_o casual_o late-walking_a two_o and_o two_o together_o one_o with_o he_o go_v one_o way_n and_o the_o other_o two_o another_o and_o that_o those_o other_o as_o they_o wander_v up_o and_o down_o light_n upon_o a_o little_a house_n where_o dwell_v some_o servant_n of_o thou_o 5.3_o mat._n 5.3_o poor_a in_o spirit_n of_o who_o be_v the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n and_o that_o they_o find_v there_o a_o book_n in_o which_o be_v write_v the_o life_n of_o this_o antonius_n which_o life_n one_o of_o they_o begin_v to_o read_v and_o then_o to_o admire_v and_o then_o to_o be_v inflame_v and_o even_o whilst_o read_v it_o to_o meditate_v
indeed_o dedicate_v to_o thy_o service_n but_o yet_o as_o it_o be_v pant_v after_o and_o somewhat_o relish_v of_o the_o school_n of_o pride_n so_o late_o leave_v be_v witness_v by_o my_o book_n be_v book_n his_o book_n write_v there_o be_v reason_v partly_o with_o those_o who_o be_v present_a before_o i_o and_o partly_o with_o myself_o alone_o before_o thou_o and_o 2._o and_o contra_fw-la academicos_fw-la lib._n 3._o de_fw-fr vitâ_fw-la beatâ_fw-la l._n 1._o de_fw-fr ordine_fw-la l._n 2._o soliloquiorum_fw-la l._n 2._o what_o i_o act_v with_o absent_a nebridius_fw-la be_v testify_v by_o my_o epistle_n o_o when_o shall_v i_o find_v sufficient_a time_n for_o commemoration_n of_o those_o thy_o so_o many_o and_o so_o great_a benefit_n towards_o we_o in_o that_o time_n especial_o i_o hasten_v to_o yet_o great_a matter_n for_o my_o remembrance_n call_v i_o back_o to_o those_o time_n and_o it_o be_v a_o sweet_a thing_n to_o i_o o_o lord_n to_o confess_v now_o unto_o thou_o *_o with_o what_o inward_a rod_n thou_o then_o tame_v i_o and_o *_o in_o what_o manner_n thou_o level_v and_o plain_v i_o humble_v the_o mountain_n and_o bank_n of_o my_o vain_a and_o tower_a thought_n straighten_v my_o crookedness_n and_o smooth_v my_o roughness_n and_o also_o *_o in_o what_o manner_n thou_o subdue_v alipius_n the_o brother_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o that_o bless_a name_n of_o thy_o only_o beget_v n_o son_n jesus_n christ_n our_o lord_n which_o name_n at_o first_o he_o disdain_v to_o have_v insert_v in_o our_o writing_n which_o he_o desire_v may_v rather_o relish_v △_o of_o the_o lofty_a cedar_n of_o the_o philosophy-school_n 29.5_o psa_fw-la 29.5_o which_o the_o lord_n have_v break_v than_o △_o of_o the_o humble_a and_o low_o medicinal_a herb_n of_o ecclesiastical_a knowledge_n salutary_a for_o nourishment_n preservative_n against_o poison_n o_o what_o passionate_a voice_n send_v i_o up_o onto_z thou_o then_o when_o i_o read_v the_o psalm_n of_o david_n those_o faithful_a hymn_n and_o those_o air_n of_o piety_n not_o to_o be_v sing_v by_o any_o swell_a spirit_n then_o when_o i_o be_v but_o yet_o a_o novice_n in_o the_o school_n of_o thy_o love_n and_o only_o catechumenus_fw-la solace_v myself_o in_o that_o villa_n in_o the_o society_n of_o alipius_n a_o catechumenus_fw-la also_o my_o mother_n still_o adhere_v to_o we_o in_o a_o female_a habit_n but_o with_o a_o manly_a faith_n the_o security_n of_o old_a age_n the_o affection_n of_o a_o mother_n the_o piety_n of_o a_o christian_n o_o what_o passionate_a expression_n i_o say_v make_v i_o unto_o thou_o in_o the_o read_n of_o those_o psalm_n and_o how_o much_o be_v i_o inflame_v towards_o thou_o by_o they_o and_o how_o be_v i_o incense_v to_o have_v sing_v and_o proclaim_v they_o if_o i_o can_v all_o the_o world_n over_o to_o the_o confusion_n of_o the_o swell_a and_o pride_n of_o man_n though_o very_o all_o the_o world_n over_o be_v they_o sing_v and_o there_o be_v none_o that_o can_v hide_v himself_o from_o thy_o heat_n with_o what_o bitter_a indignation_n and_o grief_n do_v i_o storm_n against_o the_o manichee_n 19.6_o psa_fw-la 19.6_o and_o then_o again_o pity_v they_o that_o they_o be_v *_o ignorant_a of_o those_o sacrament_n of_o those_o medicine_n and_o *_o mad_a also_o against_o the_o antidote_n from_o which_o they_o may_v have_v receive_v the_o cure_n of_o their_o madness_n how_o do_v i_o wish_v that_o they_o have_v be_v somewhere_o near_o i_o and_o may_v i_o ignorant_a of_o their_o presence_n or_o harken_v have_v *_o observe_n my_o countenance_n and_o *_o herd_n my_o ejaculation_n when_o i_o read_v the_o four_o psalm_n and_o *_o see_v what_o thing_n in_o that_o my_o retirement_n be_v wrought_v on_o i_o by_o this_o psalm_n cum_fw-la invocarem_fw-la when_o i_o call_v upon_o thou_o thou_o hear_v i_o o_o god_n of_o my_o righteousness_n in_o my_o distress_n thou_o have_v enlarge_v i_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o o_o lord_n and_o hear_v my_o prayer_n that_o i_o say_v they_o may_v have_v hear_v without_o my_o knowledge_n that_o they_o hear_v lest_o they_o may_v think_v that_o for_o they_o i_o say_v so_o what_o thing_n i_o utter_v on_o those_o word_n for_o indeed_o neither_o shall_v i_o say_v the_o same_o thing_n nor_o in_o such_o manner_n say_v they_o suppose_v they_o to_o have_v see_v or_o overhear_v i_o nor_o if_o i_o shall_v have_v say_v the_o same_o will_v they_o have_v so_o entertain_v they_o as_o when_o i_o say_v they_o only_o with_o and_z to_z myself_o before_o thou_o in_o the_o familiar_a and_o native_a affection_n and_o expression_n of_o my_o mind_n how_o do_v i_o now_o tremble_v with_o fear_n now_o again_o burn_v with_o hope_n and_o with_o exultation_n in_o thy_o mercy_n o_o father_n and_o how_o do_v these_o issue_n forth_o by_o my_o eye_n and_o voice_n my_o tear_n and_o sigh_n when_o thy_o good_a spirit_n turn_v unto_o we_o say_v in_o the_o word_n follow_v o_o you_o son_n of_o man_n how_o long_o dull_a of_o heart_n suum_fw-la psal_n 4.3_o vulgar_a filii_fw-la hominum_fw-la usque_fw-la quo_fw-la gravi_fw-la cord_n scirote_n quoniam_fw-la mirificavit_fw-la dominus_fw-la sanctum_fw-la suum_fw-la how_o long_o will_v you_o love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o a_o lie_n know_v you_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v magnify_v his_o holy_a one_o for_o i_o have_v love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v a_o lie_n and_o thou_o lord_n have_v already_o long_o since_o magnify_v thy_o holy_a one_o raise_v he_o from_o the_o dead_a and_o set_v he_o at_o thy_o right_a hand_n whence_o also_o he_o shall_v send_v from_o on_o high_a his_o promise_a comforter_n the_o spirit_n of_o truth_n and_o he_o have_v also_o send_v he_o already_o but_o i_o know_v it_o not_o he_o have_v send_v he_o already_o because_o he_o be_v already_o magnify_v rise_v from_o the_o dead_a and_o ascend_a into_o heaven_n 7.39_o heaven_n joh._n 7.39_o for_o till_o then_o the_o h._n ghost_n be_v not_o give_v because_o jesus_n be_v not_o yet_o glorify_v and_o for_o these_o thing_n it_o be_v that_o the_o prophet_n cry_v out_o how_o long_o dull_a of_o heart_n how_o long_o love_v you_o vanity_n and_o seek_v a_o lie_n and_o know_v you_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v glorify_v his_o holy_a one_o he_o cry_v out_o how_o long_o he_o cri_fw-la be_v out_o know_v you_o and_o i_o so_o long_o not_o know_v have_v love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o a_o lie_n and_o therefore_o i_o hear_v and_o stand_v in_o awe_n because_o this_o be_v speak_v to_o such_o as_o i_o remember_v i_o have_v be_v for_o in_o those_o phantasm_n which_o i_o have_v hold_v for_o truth_n there_o be_v vanity_n and_o a_o lie_n and_o i_o burst_v forth_o into_o many_o serious_a and_o vehement_a expression_n in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o my_o remembrance_n which_o i_o wish_v they_o may_v have_v hear_v who_o even_o until_o now_o love_v that_o vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o that_o lie_n perhaps_o they_o will_v have_v be_v pain_v and_o have_v empty_v themselves_o of_o that_o poison_n 4._o ver._n 4._o and_o so_o thou_o will_v hear_v they_o when_o they_o cry_v unto_o thou_o for_o not_o in_o a_o vain_a and_o lie_a appearance_n but_o by_o a_o true_a death_n of_o his_o flesh_n he_o die_v for_o we_o who_o now_o intercede_v and_o cry_v unto_o thou_o for_o we_o and_o thou_o hear_v he_o i_o further_o read_v there_o 2.5_o there_o ver_fw-la 5._o irascimini_fw-la &_o nolite_fw-la peccare_fw-la rom_n 2.5_o be_v angry_a and_o sin_n not_o and_o how_o be_v i_o move_v therewith_o o_o my_o god_n who_o have_v already_o learn_v to_o be_v angry_a with_o myself_o for_o my_o past_a sin_n that_o i_o may_v for_o the_o future_a forbear_v sin_v and_o with_o good_a reason_n angry_a because_o it_o be_v not_o any_o other_o nature_n of_o the_o nation_n of_o darkness_n that_o sin_v in_o i_o as_o they_o say_v who_o therefore_o be_v not_o angry_a with_o themselves_o for_o it_o and_o so_o treasure_n up_o anger_n against_o the_o day_n of_o anger_n and_o of_o the_o revelation_n of_o thy_o just_a judgement_n neither_o be_v now_o my_o bona_fw-la my_o allusion_n to_o verse_n 6._o quis_fw-la ostendet_fw-la nobis_fw-la bona_fw-la good_a thing_n as_o they_o place_v abroad_o and_o without_o i_o nor_o seek_v with_o my_o carnal_a eye_n by_o the_o light_n of_o that_o sun_n for_o those_o who_o seek_v their_o joy_n in_o something_o abroad_o do_v easy_o become_v vain_a and_o be_v spill_v upon_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v see_v and_o which_o be_v temporal_a and_o with_o hungersterved_n cogitation_n continue_v still_o lick_v the_o image_n thereof_o and_o oh_o that_o they_o may_v once_o grow_v weary_a of_o and_o loath_a such_o a_o hunger_n and_o say_v quis_fw-la ostendet_fw-la nobis_fw-la bona_fw-la who_o will_v show_v we_o any_o better_a good_a and_o that_o we_o may_v answer_v again_o &_o they_o may_v hearken_v unto_o it_o