just_a advice_n and_o that_o i_o will_v speak_v my_o reason_n and_o heart-rising_n against_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v propound_v to_o i_o which_o i_o judge_v unmeet_a and_o i_o resolve_v when_o i_o see_v my_o duty_n cheerful_o to_o do_v it_o and_o keep_v a_o sense_n of_o the_o sweetness_n and_o obligation_n of_o god_n love_n and_o mercy_n iii_o i_o resolve_v to_o pray_v and_o labour_n for_o a_o true_a sense_n of_o the_o sin_n of_o this_o nation_n in_o general_a and_o in_o particular_a of_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o relation_n and_o of_o my_o own_o and_o that_o till_o it_o please_v god_n to_o give_v i_o cause_n of_o rejoice_v on_o the_o behalf_n of_o my_o relation_n and_o of_o my_o own_o soul_n recovery_n and_o spiritual_a welfare_n i_o will_v continue_v with_o humiliation_n to_o supplicate_v the_o lord_n and_o though_o i_o will_v not_o shut_v out_o a_o great_a duty_n by_o a_o lesser_a yet_o i_o will_v avoid_v all_o manner_n of_o feast_n as_o much_o as_o i_o well_o can_v and_o all_o noxious_a sensual_a delight_n and_o when_o i_o must_v be_v present_a i_o will_v use_v some_o mortify_a restraint_n and_o this_o i_o will_v do_v in_o my_o habit_n and_o all_o other_o thing_n but_o that_o i_o will_v lay_v no_o snare_n on_o myself_o by_o renounce_v what_o occasion_n may_v oblige_v i_o to_o but_o by_o all_o mean_v i_o will_v strive_v to_o keep_v upon_o my_o heart_n a_o sense_n of_o my_o friend_n danger_n and_o my_o own_o iv_o i_o resolve_v if_o providence_n concur_v to_o go_v to_o london_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o can_v after_o the_o day_n of_o thanksgiving_n for_o the_o reason_n mention_v in_o another_o place_n §_o 9_o what_o these_o reason_n be_v i_o find_v not_o this_o follow_a fragment_n of_o she_o hint_n something_a of_o it_o i_o begin_v already_o to_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o misuse_v the_o help_n which_o god_n have_v give_v i_o i_o know_v now_o how_o i_o shall_v love_v ordinance_n and_o mean_n of_o grace_n and_o to_o what_o end_n not_o to_o break_v my_o heart_n when_o providence_n remove_v they_o from_o i_o or_o i_o from_o they_o but_o i_o shall_v love_v they_o for_o god_n and_o use_v they_o for_o he_o and_o expect_v my_o great_a comfort_n from_o he_o and_o not_o from_o man_n and_o mean_n themselves_o this_o be_v no_o more_o than_o what_o i_o think_v i_o have_v know_v long_o ago_o but_o i_o never_o know_v it_o indeed_o till_o now_o and_o now_o i_o do_v but_o begin_v to_o know_v it_o when_o i_o feel_v my_o heart_n ready_a to_o sink_v under_o a_o burden_n of_o sorrow_n god_n be_v please_v to_o ask_v i_o what_o i_o ail_v be_v my_o condition_n worse_o than_o ever_o have_v i_o less_o hope_n of_o his_o love_n than_o heretofore_o if_o not_o why_o do_v i_o mourn_v more_o than_o when_o i_o lie_v under_o that_o curse_n what_o be_v it_o that_o i_o have_v choose_v for_o my_o hope_n and_o happiness_n be_v that_o lose_a and_o go_v be_o i_o leave_v in_o such_o a_o place_n or_o case_n as_o god_n can_v be_v find_v in_o if_o i_o true_o seek_v he_o or_o that_o god_n can_v sweeten_v with_o his_o presence_n if_o not_o why_o do_v i_o not_o content_o thank_v god_n for_o what_o i_o have_v already_o have_v i_o can_v say_v it_o be_v better_a that_o i_o have_v never_o have_v it_o than_o now_o to_o leave_v it_o no_o i_o must_v be_v willing_a to_o submit_v to_o god_n and_o be_v humble_v in_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o abuse_n of_o mercy_n so_o far_o as_o it_o may_v quicken_v i_o to_o diligence_n for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v and_o if_o ever_o god_n more_o trust_v i_o with_o such_o treasure_n as_o once_o i_o have_v i_o will_v strive_v to_o show_v that_o i_o better_o know_v the_o worth_n of_o it_o than_o i_o do_v before_o my_o thought_n often_o tell_v i_o that_o if_o i_o be_v but_o in_o a_o condition_n in_o which_o i_o have_v opportunity_n to_o serve_v god_n with_o more_o cost_n to_o the_o flesh_n than_o i_o here_o do_v it_o will_v either_o show_v my_o hypocrisy_n or_o give_v i_o more_o assure_v evidence_n that_o i_o be_o indeed_o sincere_a §_o 10._o and_o it_o be_v a_o useful_a note_n that_o i_o find_v add_v to_o this_o by_o she_o if_o my_o trouble_n be_v for_o my_o sin_n 1._o my_o care_n will_v be_v more_o for_o the_o remove_n of_o my_o sin_n than_o of_o the_o affliction_n 2._o and_o if_o god_n shall_v take_v away_o the_o affliction_n it_o will_v not_o content_v i_o unless_o sin_n be_v take_v away_o and_o my_o heart_n amend_v 3._o if_o it_o be_v sin_n that_o i_o be_o trouble_v for_o it_o will_v be_v my_o great_a care_n not_o to_o sin_v in_o my_o trouble_n 4._o and_o if_o it_o be_v my_o sin_n that_o trouble_v i_o i_o have_v the_o more_o cause_n to_o submit_v to_o god_n hand_n and_o silent_o bear_v the_o punishment_n of_o my_o iniquity_n it_o shame_v murmur_v when_o we_o true_o look_v on_o sin_n the_o cause_n though_o it_o bring_v the_o wholesome_a sorrow_n of_o repentance_n 5._o and_o if_o i_o mourn_v for_o fear_v lest_o god_n be_v depart_v i_o shall_v seek_v he_o and_o cleave_v the_o close_a to_o he_o and_o not_o depart_v from_o god_n and_o then_o he_o will_v not_o depart_v from_o i_o §_o 11._o i_o will_v conclude_v this_o chapter_n with_o a_o country_n poem_n of_o her_o honest_a kinsman_n mr._n eleazar_n careswell_n of_o sheffnall_a in_o shropshire_n who_o i_o never_o know_v to_o poetrize_v but_o now_o that_o tender_a love_n and_o passion_n teach_v he_o it_o signify_v these_o though_o it_o want_v the_o flowery_a part_n her_o danger_n of_o death_n so_o near_o to_o her_o conversion_n be_v very_o grievous_a to_o he_o margaret_z charlton_n anagram_n arm_v to_o late_a change_n the_o prudent_a soul_n refine_v from_o earth_n do_v ever_o arm_n to_o her_o late_a change_n and_o fear_v it_o never_o those_o glitter_a monarch_n who_o seem_v to_o command_v this_o ball_n shall_v be_v by_o death_n impartial_a hand_n put_v out_o and_o doom_v to_o a_o eternal_a state_n no_o mortal_a sinner_n can_v decline_v this_o fate_n death_n conquer_v scepter-swaying_a king_n but_o i_o shall_v conquer_v death_n be_v now_o arm_v to_o die_v arm_v soul_n for_o this_o one_o change_n and_o wed_v thy_o heart_n to_o christ_n and_o then_o no_o death_n shall_v ever_o part_v your_o join_a soul_n and_o thou_o because_o that_o he_o have_v life_n of_o life_n shall_v still_o possess_v be_v death_n will_v but_o this_o snarl_a knot_n of_o life_n untie_v to_o unite_v soul_n in_o a_o more_o bless_a tie_n when_o faith_n renew_v grace_n repent_v tear_n have_v clear_v the_o soul_n from_o filth_n and_o she_o appear_v unspotted_a holy_a pure_a invest_v in_o christ_n milkwhite_a snowy_a robe_n quite_o free_v from_o sin_n whole_o deliver_v from_o this_o fleshly_a thrall_n and_o hell_n black_a monarch_n and_o adorn_v with_o all_o god_n perfect_a grace_n triumphant_o these_o sing_v death_n and_o hell_n conquer_v be_v by_o christ_n our_o king_n faith_n hope_n and_o love_n such_o soul_n now_o fortify_v and_o arm_v thus_o why_o shall_v we_o fear_v to_o die_v though_o death_n divorce_v those_o long_o acquaint_v friend_n and_o lodge_v earth_n in_o the_o earth_n the_o soul_n ascend_v to_o those_o high_a glorious_a region_n where_o she_o with_o christ_n and_o bless_a soul_n shall_v ever_o be_v soul_n trouble_v sin_n shall_v then_o molest_v no_o more_o which_o clog_v which_o wound_v she_o so_o long_o before_o poor_a soul_n go_v fetter_v here_o with_o flesh_n and_o sin_n death_n do_v her_o great_a deliverance_n begin_v thy_o soul_n renew_v by_o grace_n shall_v quick_o see_v how_o blessed_v a_o change_n that_o day_n will_v bring_v to_o thou_o death_n shall_v those_o weep_a eye_n dry_v up_o and_o close_o and_o pain_v weary_a flesh_n to_o rest_v repose_n the_o grave_n will_v be_v a_o safe_a and_o quiet_a bed_n to_o that_o frail_a body_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v flee_v this_o ache_a head_n shall_v there_o be_v lay_v to_o rest_v whilst_o thy_o glad_a soul_n of_o glory_n be_v possess_v as_o banish_v grief_n end_v in_o that_o quiet_a sleep_n thy_o dust_n be_v holy_a it_o thy_o lord_n will_v keep_v till_o the_o last_o trumpet_n sound_n and_o he_o shall_v raise_v the_o just_a and_o unjust_a at_o the_o last_o of_o day_n then_o the_o refine_a body_n shall_v again_o it_o be_v late_o dislodge_a soul_n re-entertain_a and_o reunite_v chant_v well-tuned_a lay_n unto_o the_o lamb_n who_o soul-enamouring_a ray_n shall_v ravish_v saint_n with_o bless_a perfect_a joy_n free_v from_o whatever_o will_v their_o rest_n annoy_n where_o they_o with_o flame_a love_n and_o pleasure_n sing_v holy_a melodious_a praise_n to_o god_n their_o king_n rise_v then_o my_o soul_n thy_o thought_n from_o earth_n estrange_v the_o first_o be_v wrought_v arm_v to_o thy_o late_a change_n thus_o the_o good_a
he_o all_o my_o day_n 2._o and_o a_o humble_a heart_n that_o i_o may_v be_v teach_v of_o god_n who_o look_v on_o the_o proud_a afar_o off_o 3_o and_o a_o tender_a conscience_n that_o i_o may_v fear_v to_o offend_v he_o and_o hate_v all_o sin_n 4._o and_o strength_n so_o to_o resist_v temptation_n that_o i_o be_v not_o lead_v by_o satan_n to_o dishonour_n god_n or_o to_o provoke_v he_o 5._o and_o a_o meek_a and_o quiet_a frame_n of_o spirit_n that_o i_o may_v be_v content_v to_o bear_v the_o affliction_n that_o god_n shall_v lay_v i_o under_o without_o murmur_v or_o repine_v §_o 3._o this_o be_v that_o which_o she_o give_v we_o in_o i_o find_v under_o her_o hand_n this_o secret_a renewal_n that_o same_o day_n of_o her_o covenant_n with_o god_n which_o i_o annex_v this_o be_v a_o day_n set_v apart_o for_o return_v thanks_o to_o god_n for_o his_o mercy_n in_o deliver_v i_o from_o the_o gate_n of_o death_n these_o people_n be_v they_o that_o have_v earnest_o supplicate_v the_o throne_n of_o grace_n on_o my_o behalf_n i_o here_o now_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o almighty_a god_n and_o resolve_v by_o his_o grace_n to_o endeavour_v to_o get_v and_o keep_v a_o fresh_a sense_n of_o his_o mercy_n on_o my_o soul_n and_o a_o great_a sense_n yet_o of_o my_o sin_n i_o resolve_v to_o set_v myself_o against_o my_o sin_n with_o all_o my_o might_n and_o not_o take_v its_o part_n or_o extenuate_v it_o or_o keep_v the_o devil_n counsel_n as_o i_o have_v do_v to_o the_o wrong_v of_o god_n and_o the_o wound_a of_o my_o own_o soul._n i_o resolve_v by_o god_n assistance_n to_o set_v upon_o the_o practice_n of_o know_a duty_n and_o not_o to_o study_v shift_n and_o evasion_n to_o put_v off_o those_o which_o be_v either_o troublesome_a chargeable_a or_o likely_a to_o render_v i_o dishonourable_a and_o vile_a in_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o carnal_a person_n of_o the_o world_n and_o this_o i_o do_v upon_o these_o consideration_n and_o for_o these_o reason_n 1._o my_o life_n have_v be_v a_o life_n of_o great_a mercy_n god_n have_v preserve_v it_o more_o than_o this_o once_o and_o have_v do_v exceed_v great_a thing_n for_o i_o which_o engage_v i_o more_o than_o many_o other_o though_o all_o rational_a creature_n be_v oblige_v to_o live_v to_o god_n their_o maker_n 2._o god_n have_v not_o only_o give_v i_o life_n but_o in_o some_o measure_n ability_n and_o opportunity_n to_o do_v he_o service_n yea_o and_o already_o some_o encouragement_n in_o the_o hope_n of_o the_o success_n of_o some_o of_o my_o poor_a endeavour_n i_o suppose_v on_o some_o of_o her_o servant_n 3._o god_n have_v more_o engage_v i_o to_o himself_o by_o take_v i_o into_o his_o family_n and_o plant_v i_o in_o his_o garden_n and_o water_v i_o with_o the_o dew_n from_o heaven_n he_o have_v set_v i_o in_o a_o fruitful_a soil_n he_o have_v give_v i_o the_o high_a privilege_n of_o a_o part_n in_o the_o heart_n and_o prayer_n of_o his_o people_n and_o i_o may_v say_v that_o i_o live_v to_o speak_v it_o that_o god_n be_v a_o god_n hear_v prayer_n and_o have_v hear_v and_o answer_v they_o though_o the_o tempter_n be_v busy_a to_o make_v i_o think_v diminitive_o of_o this_o mercy_n yet_o i_o must_v not_o but_o must_v acknowledge_v the_o greatness_n of_o it_o 4._o as_o all_o these_o and_o more_o engagement_n be_v upon_o i_o so_o i_o be_o already_o engage_v by_o the_o baptismal_a covenant_n to_o god_n the_o father_n son_n and_o holy_a ghost_n as_o my_o god_n and_o chief_a good_a and_o only_a happiness_n and_o as_o my_o redeemer_n head_n and_o husband_n and_o as_o my_o sanctifier_n and_o comforter_n and_o i_o have_v renew_v it_o in_o the_o sacrament_n of_o the_o lord_n supper_n and_o how_o can_v i_o go_v back_o that_o have_v thus_o far_o engage_v myself_o and_o daily_o receive_v from_o god_n more_o obligation_n yea_o god_n will_v expect_v more_o from_o i_o than_o from_o many_o other_o let_v i_o therefore_o see_v that_o i_o be_v in_o good_a earnest_n with_o god_n and_o think_v not_o to_o put_v he_o off_o with_o hypocrisy_n let_v i_o not_o deceive_v myself_o for_o god_n will_v not_o be_v mock_v what_o i_o sow_v i_o shall_v reap_v if_o i_o belong_v to_o god_n though_o i_o suffer_v whilst_o i_o be_o in_o the_o body_n they_o will_v be_v but_o light_a affliction_n and_o but_o for_o a_o moment_n but_o the_o everlasting_a kingdom_n will_v be_v my_o inheritance_n and_o when_o this_o life_n be_v end_v i_o shall_v reign_v with_o christ_n i_o shall_v be_v free_v from_o sin_n and_o suffering_n and_o for_o ever_o rejoice_v with_o saint_n and_o angel_n but_o shall_v i_o prove_v a_o hypocrite_n i_o lose_v my_o labour_n i_o lose_v my_o god_n and_o damnation_n with_o devil_n and_o damn_a one_o will_v be_v my_o reward_n for_o ever_o and_o rhi_v the_o great_a as_o my_o mercy_n have_v be_v abundant_a and_o great_a therefore_o i_o here_o desire_v this_o day_n to_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n and_o to_o beg_v the_o prayer_n of_o this_o people_n that_o god_n will_v not_o leave_v i_o to_o myself_o but_o help_v i_o by_o the_o sufficient_a grace_n of_o christ_n to_o keep_v the_o covenant_n which_o i_o have_v make_v and_o i_o intend_v to_o keep_v this_o paper_n by_o i_o to_o help_v to_o remember_v i_o and_o quicken_v i_o to_o duty_n and_o hinder_v i_o from_o sin_n and_o encourage_v i_o to_o go_v on_o cheerful_o against_o temptation_n look_v still_o to_o christ_n who_o forsake_v not_o those_o that_o by_o faith_n and_o repentance_n come_v to_o he_o to_o all_o this_o let_v i_o add_v these_o consideration_n of_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o creature_n and_o of_o all_o false_a hope_n it_o be_v contrary_a to_o the_o nature_n of_o the_o creature_n to_o be_v our_o peace_n they_o be_v our_o discomfort_n and_o trouble_n further_o than_o they_o help_v to_o lead_v we_o to_o the_o creator_n let_v i_o not_o forget_v the_o time_n when_o i_o seem_v near_o death_n what_o comfort_n have_v i_o then_o in_o creature_n what_o ease_n from_o they_o be_v not_o all_o my_o hope_n in_o god_n all_o creatute_n show_v i_o that_o side_n on_o which_o vanity_n be_v write_v and_o they_o have_v nothing_o that_o can_v satisfy_v my_o soul_n though_o i_o have_v as_o much_o mercy_n in_o mean_n and_o friend_n as_o i_o can_v possible_o desire_v yet_o all_o this_o be_v nothing_o to_o i_o the_o trouble_n of_o part_v with_o they_o be_v much_o more_o than_o the_o comfort_n of_o enjoy_v they_o and_o so_o it_o will_v be_v with_o i_o still_o which_o shall_v teach_v i_o to_o keep_v my_o heart_n loose_v from_o the_o creature_n and_o not_o overlove_v any_o thing_n on_o this_o side_n heaven_n why_o shall_v my_o heart_n be_v fix_v where_o my_o home_n be_v not_o heaven_n be_v my_o home_n god_n in_o christ_n be_v all_o my_o happiness_n and_o where_o my_o treasure_n be_v there_o my_o heart_n shall_v be_v come_v away_o oh_o my_o heart_n from_o vanity_n mount_v heavenward_o and_o be_v not_o dead_a or_o dull_a if_o thou_o will_v be_v free_a from_o trouble_n and_o taste_v of_o real_a joy_n and_o pleasure_n have_v not_o experience_n yet_o teach_v thou_o that_o creature-comfort_n though_o they_o may_v be_v rose_n have_v their_o prick_n can_v not_o thou_o be_v content_a to_o look_v on_o they_o and_o smell_v they_o at_o a_o distance_n and_o covet_v no_o other_o use_n while_o thou_o be_v in_o the_o garden_n where_o they_o grow_v and_o be_v content_a to_o leave_v they_o there_o behind_o thou_o if_o thou_o must_v needs_o have_v they_o in_o thy_o bosom_n thou_o must_v scratch_v thy_o finger_n to_o get_v they_o and_o when_o thou_o have_v they_o though_o the_o smell_v a_o while_n delight_v thou_o they_o will_v quick_o wither_v and_o be_v go_v away_o then_o o_o my_o carnal_a heart_n retire_v to_o god_n the_o only_a satisfy_a object_n there_o may_v thou_o love_v without_o all_o danger_n of_o excess_n let_v thy_o love_n to_o god_n be_v fix_v and_o transcendent_a amen_n §_o 4._o though_o these_o be_v the_o strive_n of_o her_o heart_n towards_o god_n her_o fear_n and_o trouble_n do_v not_o so_o pass_v away_o settle_v peace_n of_o soul_n do_v seldom_o come_v quick_o to_o young_a convert_v though_o their_o sincere_a resolution_n may_v be_v settle_v i_o find_v among_o her_o paper_n yet_o more_o of_o that_o day_n work_v upon_o she_o after_o examination_n and_o review_v bear_v with_o the_o length_n if_o i_o transcribe_v it_o as_o i_o find_v it_o under_o her_o hand_n christ_n say_v in_o the_o world_n you_o shall_v have_v trouble_n in_o i_o you_o shall_v have_v peace_n something_o of_o both_o now_o i_o find_v at_o this_o time_n this_o night_n after_o return_v thanks_o to_o god_n for_o my_o recovery_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n sad_a
godliness_n as_o they_o come_v and_o such_o as_o be_v true_o convert_v with_o we_o she_o love_v as_o child_n §_o 16._o one_o infirmity_n make_v she_o faulty_a in_o the_o omission_n of_o much_o of_o her_o duty_n she_o be_v wont_a to_o say_v that_o she_o have_v from_o her_o childhood_n imprint_v a_o deep_a fear_n and_o hatred_n of_o hypocrisy_n on_o her_o mind_n that_o she_o can_v never_o do_v the_o outside_n of_o her_o duty_n as_o to_o the_o speak_a part_n for_o fear_v of_o hypocrisy_n i_o scarce_o ever_o meet_v with_o a_o person_n that_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v long_o for_o matter_n and_o good_a language_n without_o repetition_n even_o about_o religious_a thing_n and_o few_o that_o have_v more_o desire_n that_o it_o be_v well_o do_v and_o yet_o she_o can_v not_o do_v it_o herself_o for_o fear_n of_o seem_v to_o be_v guilty_a of_o ostentation_n in_o good_a company_n she_o will_v speak_v little_a of_o that_o which_o she_o most_o desire_a to_o hear_v when_o i_o be_v at_o any_o time_n from_o home_n she_o will_v not_o pray_v in_o the_o family_n though_o she_o can_v not_o endure_v to_o be_v without_o it_o she_o will_v private_o talk_v to_o the_o servant_n and_o read_v good_a book_n to_o they_o most_o of_o the_o open_a speak_a part_n of_o religion_n she_o omit_v through_o a_o disease_a enmity_n to_o ostentation_n and_o hypocrisy_n but_o of_o late_a year_n when_o she_o see_v i_o and_o other_o too_o spare_v in_o profitable_a speech_n to_o young_a and_o ignorant_a people_n she_o confess_v that_o she_o see_v her_o error_n and_o that_o even_o a_o hypocrite_n use_v but_o the_o word_n and_o outside_n of_o religion_n be_v better_a to_o other_o than_o silence_n and_o unprofitable_a omission_n be_v §_o 17._o her_o houshold-affair_n she_o order_v with_o so_o so_o great_a skill_n and_o decency_n as_o that_o other_o much_o praise_v that_o which_o i_o be_v no_o fit_a judge_n of_o i_o have_v be_v breed_v among_o plain_a mean_a people_n and_o i_o think_v that_o so_o much_o wash_v of_o 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break_v it_o and_o that_o as_o honour_v parent_n have_v even_o the_o promise_n of_o blessing_n on_o earth_n so_o the_o dishonour_v they_o be_v like_a to_o bring_v a_o curse_n upon_o the_o person_n or_o family_n that_o be_v guilty_a of_o it_o and_o that_o how_o great_a soever_o their_o present_a prosperity_n may_v seem_v it_o be_v come_v and_o will_v overtake_v they_o either_o in_o their_o body_n child_n or_o estate_n prov._n 30._o 17._o the_o eye_n that_o mock_v at_o his_o father_n and_o despise_v to_o obey_v his_o mother_n the_o raven_n of_o the_o valley_n shall_v pick_v it_o out_o and_o the_o young_a eagle_n shall_v eat_v it_o and_o such_o by_o moses_n law_n be_v to_o be_v put_v to_o death_n deut._n 27._o 16._o curse_a be_v he_o that_o set_v light_n by_o his_o father_z or_o his_o mother_n and_o let_v all_z the_o people_z say_v amen_o and_o will_v god_n suspend_v it_o till_o the_o sinner_n say_v amen_o o_o no._n and_o what_o be_v that_o person_n case_v that_o live_v under_o this_o curse_n of_o god_n if_o the_o body_n escape_v it_o and_o posterity_n escape_v it_o and_o the_o estate_n escape_v it_o yea_o and_o a_o sear_a conscience_n escape_v it_o few_o year_n the_o soul_n will_v not_o escape_v it_o for_o ever_o without_o deep_a and_o through_o repentance_n for_o christ_n have_v redeem_v none_o but_o sincere_a penitent_n from_o the_o curse_n yea_o even_o such_o seldom_o escape_v the_o temporal_a sharp_a chastisement_n and_o very_o worthy_a be_v her_o mother_n of_o her_o love_n and_o honour_n all_o her_o letter_n to_o she_o when_o she_o be_v from_o home_n i_o find_v now_o lay_v up_o by_o she_o as_o a_o treasure_n sure_a i_o will_v transcribe_v part_n of_o some_o of_o they_o that_o you_o may_v perceive_v her_o plain_a and_o honest_a care_n of_o her_o child_n soul_n §_o 20._o in_o one_o 1657._o to_o this_o daughter_n at_o oxford_n she_o write_v thus_o i_o can_v but_o put_v you_o in_o mind_n of_o your_o duty_n you_o owe_v to_o god_n i_o mean_v that_o you_o see_v that_o you_o lose_v not_o your_o time_n if_o you_o be_v where_o you_o may_v improve_v your_o time_n for_o grace_n and_o get_v down_o sin_n i_o shall_v give_v you_o my_o consent_n for_o your_o stay_n with_o her_o brother_n upton_n canon_n of_o christ_n church_n but_o be_v sure_a you_o do_v not_o deceive_v yourself_o herein_o for_o god_n will_v not_o be_v mock_v he_o that_o do_v righteous_o and_o live_v to_o christ_n shall_v enjoy_v all_o the_o blessing_n promise_v by_o god_n to_o they_o that_o trust_v he_o and_o obey_v he_o i_o bless_v my_o god_n i_o have_v my_o health_n as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v wish_v and_o my_o heart_n run_v out_o whole_o to_o god_n in_o seek_v a_o blessing_n for_o child_n and_o child_n child_n o_o that_o i_o may_v prevail_v by_o prayer_n to_o see_v such_o hope_n of_o you_o all_o upon_o good_a ground_n as_o will_v be_v a_o gracious_a return_n to_o my_o prayer_n this_o be_v my_o work_n be_v not_o you_o want_v to_o yourselves_o your_o endeavour_n and_o prayer_n also_o be_v necessary_a who_o know_v but_o god_n will_v give_v you_o that_o one_o thing_n necessary_a which_o if_o you_o shall_v make_v it_o your_o chief_a choice_n shall_v never_o be_v take_v from_o you_o let_v the_o word_n of_o god_n dwell_v plentiful_o in_o you_o that_o it_o may_v be_v the_o rule_n of_o your_o life_n which_o be_v the_o prayer_n of_o your_o true_o love_v mother_n mary_n hanmer_n §_o 21._o in_o another_o 1657._o thus_o i_o know_v not_o why_o you_o shall_v write_v in_o tear_n because_o of_o a_o apprehension_n of_o my_o displeasure_n and_o that_o you_o can_v see_v it_o at_o so_o great_a a_o distance_n be_v strange_a to_o i_o if_o your_o information_n be_v of_o god_n to_o who_o you_o appeal_v look_v to_o it_o if_o of_o man_n believe_v it_o not_o many_o false_a fear_n may_v arise_v for_o want_v of_o the_o true_a fear_n of_o offend_v a_o good_a and_o gracious_a god_n all_o your_o fear_n and_o all_o your_o joy_n must_v be_v found_v in_o he_o or_o else_o your_o life_n here_o will_v be_v very_o uncomfortable_a have_v not_o i_o my_o comfort_n from_o my_o god_n and_o not_o only_o in_o the_o creature_n i_o have_v sink_v long_o since_o and_o often_o in_o despair_n take_v my_o experience_n or_o rather_o hear_v the_o word_n of_o god_n which_o say_v it_o be_v better_a to_o trust_v in_o god_n than_o to_o put_v confidence_n in_o riches_n it_o be_v better_a to_o trust_v in_o god_n than_o to_o put_v confidence_n in_o man_n be_v well_o acquaint_v with_o the_o will_n of_o god_n and_o be_v sure_a in_o all_o thing_n to_o please_v he_o and_o then_o all_o other_o care_n and_o fear_n will_v be_v of_o no_o value_n to_o you_o o_o let_v it_o be_v
your_o daily_a study_n and_o let_v i_o in_o writing_n see_v some_o fruit_n of_o your_o labour_n before_o i_o go_v hence_o and_o be_v see_v here_o no_o more_o be_v not_o want_v to_o your_o own_o comfort_n and_o you_o can_v displease_v god_n nor_o your_o mother_n who_o belong_v more_o after_o your_o eternal_a good_a than_o i_o can_v now_o utter_v my_o love_n to_o you_o all_o and_o prayer_n for_o you_o all_o i_o continue_v your_o most_o tender_o love_v mother_n m._n h._n §_o 22._o in_o another_o to_o oxford_n 1657._o all_o will_v work_v for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n i_o hope_v you_o be_v one_o of_o those_o the_o lord_n direct_v your_o path_n that_o you_o may_v work_v out_o your_o salvation_n with_o fear_n and_o tremble_a in_o your_o youth_n and_o not_o let_v time_n slip_v till_o age_n which_o will_v come_v or_o death_n before_o it_o on_o all_o flesh_n and_o a_o account_n must_v be_v give_v of_o the_o precious_a time_n which_o we_o now_o neglect_v i_o have_v more_o to_o 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and_o yet_o will_v not_o suffer_v we_o to_o use_v it_o when_o we_o have_v it_o when_o we_o be_v alone_o it_o make_v we_o impediment_n to_o ourselves_o and_o when_o we_o be_v in_o company_n it_o make_v we_o impediment_n to_o other_o yet_o be_v there_o none_o no_o not_o the_o weak_a of_o christian_n but_o there_o be_v much_o in_o they_o that_o we_o may_v improve_v but_o we_o be_v so_o bad_a and_o backward_o at_o it_o that_o satan_n too_o common_o have_v his_o end_n in_o make_v we_o unprofitable_a to_o each_o other_o if_o a_o good_a horse_n or_o a_o good_a house_n be_v a_o valuable_a mercy_n how_o much_o more_o
expectation_n and_o preparation_n for_o death_n as_o make_v the_o case_n of_o her_o soul_n less_o grievous_a to_o i_o as_o no_o way_n doubt_v of_o her_o salvation_n and_o know_v that_o a_o distract_n fever_n or_o a_o frenzy_n or_o a_o inflammation_n or_o disturbance_n of_o the_o animal_n spirit_n or_o brain_n or_o a_o impostume_n may_v befall_v the_o best_a as_o soon_o as_o the_o worst_a i_o thank_v god_n that_o she_o be_v never_o under_o any_o melancholy_n which_o tempt_v she_o to_o any_o of_o those_o doleful_a evil_n which_o many_o score_n i_o think_v that_o have_v be_v with_o i_o of_o several_a way_n of_o education_n have_v be_v sad_o tempt_v to_o she_o near_o 19_o year_n live_v with_o i_o cheerful_a wise_a and_o a_o very_a useful_a life_n in_o constant_a love_n and_o peace_n and_o concord_n except_o our_o differ_a opinion_n about_o triâ—â—al_a occurrence_n or_o our_o dispute_v or_o differ_v mode_n of_o talk_n §_o 10._o she_o be_v bury_v on_o june_n 17._o in_o christs-church_n in_o the_o ruin_n in_o her_o own_o mother_n grave_a the_o grave_n be_v the_o high_a next_o the_o old_a altar_n or_o table_n in_o the_o chancel_n on_o which_o this_o her_o daughter_n have_v cause_v a_o very_a fair_a rich_a large_a marble-stone_n to_o be_v lay_v anno_fw-la 1661._o about_o 20._o year_n ago_o on_o which_o i_o cause_v to_o be_v write_v her_o title_n and_o some_o latin_a verse_n and_o these_o english_a once_o thus_o must_v thy_o flesh_n to_o silent_a dust_n descend_v thy_o mirth_n and_o worldly_a pleasure_n thus_o will_v end_v then_o happy_a holy_a soul_n but_o woe_n to_o those_o who_o heaven_n forget_v and_o earthly_a pleasure_n choose_v hear_v now_o this_o preach_a grave_n without_o delay_n believe_v repent_v and_o work_v while_o it_o be_v day_n but_o christs-church_n on_o earth_n be_v liable_a to_o those_o change_n of_o which_o the_o jerusalem_n above_o be_v in_o no_o danger_n in_o the_o doleful-flame_n of_o london_n 1666._o the_o fall_n of_o the_o church_n break_v this_o great_a marble_n all_o to_o piece_n and_o it_o prove_v no_o last_a monument_n and_o i_o hope_v this_o paper-monument_n erect_v by_o one_o that_o be_v follow_v even_o at_o the_o door_n in_o some_o passion_n indeed_o of_o love_n and_o grief_n but_o in_o sincerity_n of_o truth_n will_v be_v more_o public_o useful_a and_o durable_a than_o that_o marble-stone_n be_v chap._n x._o some_o use_v propose_v to_o the_o reader_n from_o this_o history_n as_o the_o reason_n why_o i_o write_v it_o if_o this_o narrative_n be_v useless_a to_o the_o reader_n it_o must_v needs_o be_v the_o sin_n of_o the_o publisher_n for_o idle_a writing_n be_v worse_a than_o idle_a word_n but_o i_o think_v it_o useful_a with_o that_o which_o follow_v to_o all_o these_o end_n to_o consider_v man_n §_o 1._o it_o may_v help_v to_o convince_v those_o that_o be_v incline_v to_o sadducism_n or_o infidelity_n and_o believe_v not_o the_o testimony_n of_o the_o sanctify_a spirit_n to_o the_o truth_n of_o the_o word_n of_o god_n but_o take_v holiness_n as_o it_o differ_v from_o heathen-morality_n to_o be_v but_o fancy_n hypocrisy_n custom_n or_o self-conceit_n a_o man_n that_o never_o feel_v the_o work_n of_o god_n special_a grace_n on_o his_o own_o heart_n be_v hardly_o bring_v to_o believe_v that_o other_o have_v that_o which_o he_o never_o have_v himself_o and_o this_o turn_v usual_o to_o diabolical_a malignity_n incline_v they_o to_o hate_v those_o and_o revile_v or_o despise_v they_o as_o delude_v proud_a fanatic_a hypocrite_n who_o pretend_v to_o be_v any_o better_a than_o they_o be_v or_o to_o have_v that_o which_o they_o take_v to_o be_v but_o a_o conceit_n all_o their_o religious_a thought_n they_o take_v for_o the_o dream_n of_o craze_a or_o proud_a person_n and_o their_o holy_a discourse_n and_o prayer_n but_o for_o cant_v or_o vain_a babble_n but_o acquaintance_n if_o intimate_v with_o gracious_a person_n may_v convince_v they_o of_o their_o mortal_a error_n and_o true_a history_n methinks_v may_v do_v much_o towards_o it_o §_o 2._o i_o confess_v with_o thanks_o to_o god_n that_o have_v these_o forty_o year_n find_v that_o all_o our_o holiness_n and_o comfort_n depend_v upon_o our_o certain_a persuasion_n of_o the_o life_n of_o retribution_n follow_v and_o that_o our_o certainty_n of_o this_o depend_v upon_o our_o certain_a belief_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n and_o we_o be_v here_o in_o the_o dark_a and_o too_o apt_a to_o doubt_v of_o all_o that_o we_o see_v not_o there_o be_v several_a sensible_a or_o experience_a present_a certainty_n which_o have_v be_v a_o great_a succour_n to_o my_o faith_n to_o save_v i_o from_o temptation_n to_o unbelief_n and_o doubt_v and_o confirm_v my_o assurance_n that_o the_o scripture_n be_v god_n word_n i._o in_o that_o i_o undoubted_o by_o see_v and_o hear_v that_o through_o all_o the_o world_n there_o be_v just_a such_o a_o pravity_n in_o humane_a nature_n as_o the_o scripture_n describe_v for_o original_a sin_n which_o can_v be_v the_o state_n of_o man_n integrity_n when_o his_o reason_n be_v much_o convince_v of_o much_o of_o the_o duty_n to_o god_n man_n and_o himself_o which_o he_o will_v not_o do_v and_o of_o most_o of_o the_o great_a sin_n which_o he_o will_v not_o forsake_v ii_o i_o see_v the_o scripture_n clear_o verify_v in_o mention_v the_o common_a enmity_n and_o war_n between_o the_o serpent_n and_o the_o holy_a seed_n it_o be_v notorious_a through_o the_o world_n in_o all_o age_n and_o country_n a_o enmity_n which_o no_o relation_n or_o interest_n reconcile_v iii_o i_o feel_v and_o see_v the_o scripture_n verify_v which_o describe_v all_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n and_o the_o secret_a war_n within_o we_o between_o the_o spirit_n and_o the_o flesh_n iu._n and_o i_o feel_v and_o see_v the_o scripture_n fulfil_v which_o promise_v a_o blessing_n on_o god_n word_n and_o his_o ordinance_n v._o and_o i_o feel_v and_o see_v the_o scripture_n fulfil_v which_o describe_v the_o renew_n work_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o the_o spiritual_a difference_n of_o the_o sanctify_a from_o all_o other_o this_o be_v not_o only_o in_o myself_o but_o in_o other_o o_o how_o many_o hundred_o holy_a person_n have_v i_o know_v the_o witness_n of_o christ_n truth_n and_o power_n and_o as_o ioshua_n and_o caleb_n bunch_n of_o grape_n to_o assure_v i_o of_o the_o land_n of_o promise_n and_o god_n truth_n which_o i_o see_v fulfil_v in_o they_o can_v i_o doubt_v of_o holiness_n when_o i_o feel_v it_o and_o see_v it_o in_o the_o effect_n vi_o even_o as_o it_o persuade_v i_o the_o easy_o to_o believe_v that_o there_o be_v devil_n when_o i_o see_v their_o very_a nature_n and_o work_n in_o devil_n incarnate_a and_o see_v what_o a_o kingdom_n he_o plain_o rule_v in_o the_o world_n and_o to_o believe_v that_o there_o be_v a_o hell_n when_o i_o see_v so_o much_o of_o hell_n on_o earth_n §_o 3._o it_o may_v teach_v we_o that_o the_o state_n of_o godliness_n be_v not_o to_o be_v judge_v of_o by_o the_o fear_n and_o sorrow_n in_o which_o it_o usual_o begin_v a_o man_n life_n be_v not_o like_o his_o infancy_n at_o his_o birth_n the_o fear_n and_o penitent_a sorrow_n which_o foolish_a fleshly_a sinner_n fly_v from_o do_v tend_v to_o everlasting_a peace_n and_o joy_n and_o perfect_a love_n will_v cast_v out_o all_o torment_a fear_n unless_o it_o be_v those_o of_o a_o timorous_a disease_a temper_n which_o have_v more_o of_o sickness_n than_o of_o sin_n and_o will_v be_v lay_v aside_o with_o the_o body_n which_o be_v their_o cause_n a_o life_n of_o peace_n and_o joy_n on_o earth_n may_v succeed_v the_o tremble_n of_o the_o newborn_a convert_n but_o a_o life_n of_o full_a everlasting_a joy_n will_v certain_o succeed_v the_o perseverance_n and_o victory_n of_o every_o believe_a holy_a soul._n §_o 4._o it_o may_v warn_v all_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o expect_v too_o much_o from_o so_o frail_a and_o bad_a a_o thing_n as_o man_n my_o dear_a wife_n do_v look_v for_o more_o good_a in_o i_o and_o more_o help_n from_o i_o than_o she_o find_v especial_o late_o in_o my_o weakness_n and_o decay_n we_o be_v all_o like_a picture_n that_o must_v not_o be_v look_v on_o too_o near_o they_o that_o come_v near_o we_o find_v more_o fault_n and_o badness_n in_o we_o than_o other_o at_o a_o distance_n know_v §_o 5._o it_o shall_v great_o warn_v we_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o small_a beginning_n even_o a_o spark_n of_o affection_n honest_a in_o the_o kind_n may_v kindle_v a_o flame_n not_o easy_o quench_v how_o great_a a_o matter_n may_v a_o little_a fire_n kindle_v almost_o all_o sin_n begin_v in_o a_o seed_n or_o spark_n which_o be_v very_o hardly_o know_v to_o be_v a_o sin_n or_o danger_n §_o 6._o yea_o it_o shall_v warn_v all_o to_o keep_v all_o the_o thought_n affection_n