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death_n body_n bring_v soul_n 8,700 5 5.0987 4 true
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A01647 A relation of the fearefull estate of Francis Spira in the yeare, 1548. Bacon, Nathaniel, 1593-1660. 1638 (1638) STC 1178.5; ESTC S118976 22,974 142

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therefore the grievousnesse of thy sin if anie such be amaze thee You say right replyed he the divell hath possest mee and God hath left me to his power for I finde I can neither beleeve the Gospel nor trust in Gods mercie I have sinned against the holy Ghost and God by his immutable Decree hath bound mee over to perpetuall punishment without anie hope of pardon It is true that the greatnesse of sin or the multitude of them cannot bind Gods mercie all those manie sins that in the former part of my life I have committed then did not so much trouble mee for I trusted that God would not lay them to my charge but now having sinned against the holy Ghost God hath taken away from me all power of repentance now brings all my sins to remembrance and thus guiltie of one guiltie of all And therefore it is no matter whether my sinnes be great or small few or many they are such as Christ's bloud nor Gods mercie belongs to mee God will have mercie on whom hee will have mercie and whom he will he hardneth this is it that gnaws my heart hee hath hardned mee and I finde that he daily more and more doth harden mee and therefore I am out of hope I feele it and therefore cannot but despaire I tell you there was never such a monster as I am never was man alive a spectacle of so exceeding misery I knew that justification is to be expected by Christ and I denied and abjured it to the end I might keepe this fraile life from adversitie and my children from povertie and now behold how bitter this life is to mee and God only knowes what shall become of this my family but surely no good is likely to betide it but rather daily worse and worse and such a ruin at the length as that one stone shall not be left on another But why should you said Gribauldus conceit so deepely of your sinne seeing you cannot but know that manie have denied Christ yet never fell into despaire Well said hee I can see no ground of comfort for such neither can I warrant them from Gods revēging hand in wrath though it pleaseth God yet to suffer such to bee in peace and besides there will a time of change come and then they shall be throughly tryed and if it were not so yet God is just in making mee an Example to others and I cannot justly complain there is no punishment so great but I have deserved it for this so heinous offence I assure you it is no small matter to denie Christ and yet it is more ordinary then commonly men doe conceive of it is not a deniall made before a Magistrate as it is with mee for as often as a Christian doth dissemble the knowne truth as often as hee approves of false worship by presenting himselfe at it so often as hee doth not things worthy of his calling or such things as are unworthy of his calling so often hee denies Christ thus did I and therefore am justly punished for it Your estate quoth Gribauldus is not so strange as you make it Iob was so farre gone that hee complained God had set him as a marke against him and David that was a man after Gods owne heart complained often that God had forsaken him and was become his enemy yet both received comfort againe comfort your selfe therefore God will come at length though hee now seeme farre off O Brother answered Spira I beleeve all this the divels beleeve and tremble but David was ever elected and dearely beloved of God and though he fell yet God tooke not utterly away his holy Spirit and therefore was heard when he prayed Lord take not thy holy Spirit from mee but I am in another case being ever accursed from the presence of God neither can I pray as he did because his holy Spirit is quite gone and cannot be recalled therefore I know I shall live in continuall hardnesse so long as I live O that I might feele but the least sense of the love of God to mee though but for one small moment as I now feele his heavie wrath that burnes like the torments of hell within mee and afflicts my Conscience with pangs unutterable verily desperation is hell it selfe Heere Gribauldus said I doe verily beleeve Spira that God having so severely chastised you in this life correcteth you in mercie heere that he may spare you hereafter and that he hath mercies sealed up for you in time to to come Nay said Spira hence doe I know that I am a reprobate because he afflicteth mee with hardnesse of heart Oh that my body had suffered all my life long so that hee would bee pleased to release my soule and ease my Conscience this burthened Conscience Gribauldus being desirous to ease his minde from the continuall meditation of his sinne as also to sound how for the present he stood affected to the Romish Church asked him what hee thought became of the soules of men so soone as they departed out of the bodie to which hee answered Although this bee not so fully revealed in Scripture yet I verily beleeve that the soules of the Elect goe presently to the Kingdome of glory and not that sleep with the bodie as some doe imagine Verie well said one of the spectators why doe the Scriptures then say that God brings downe to hell and raiseth up seeing it cannot be meant of the estate of the soule after death which as thou sayest either goeth to heaven without change or to hell without redemption it must be understood of the estate of the soule in this life like that wherein thou art at this present and oftentimes wee see that God suffers men to fall into the jawes of despaire and yet raiseth them up again and therefore despaire not but hope it shall bee even thus with thee in his good time This is the worke quoth Spira this the labour for I tell you when I at Venice did first abjure my profession and so as it were drew an Indenture the Spirit of God often admonisht mee and when at Cittadella I did as it were set to my seale the Spirit of God often suggested to mee Doe not write Spira do not seale yet I resisted the Holy Ghost and did both and at that very present I did evidently feele a wound inflicted in my very will so although I can say I would beleeve yet can I not say I will beleeve God hath denied mee the power of will and it befalls mee in this my miserable estate as with one that is fast in irons and his friends comming to see him doe pitie his estate and doe perswade him to shake off his setters and to come out of his bonds which God knows hee would faine doe but cannot this is my very case you perswade me to beleeve how faine would I doe it but cannot O now I cannot Then violently grasping his hands together and raising