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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A30965	The speeches, discourses, and prayers, of Col. John Barkstead, Col. John Okey, and Mr. Miles Corbet, upon the 19th of April being the day of their suffering at Tyburn : together with an account of the occasion and manner of their taking in Holland : as also of their several occasional speeches, discourses, and letters, both before, and in the time of their late imprisonment : faithfully and impartially collected for a general satisfaction.; Selections. 1662	Barkstead, John, d. 1662.; Okey, John, d. 1662. Selections. 1662.; Corbet, Miles, d. 1662. Selections. 1662.	1662 (1662)	Wing B817; ESTC R22773	95,595	102

THE SPEECHES DISCOURSES AND PRAYERS OF Col. JOHN BARKSTEAD Col. JOHN OKEY and Mr. MILES CORBET Upon the 19 th of April being the Day of their Suffering at TYBURN Together with an Account of the Occasion and Manner of their Taking in Holland As also of their several Occasional Speeches Discourses and Letters both before and in the time of their late Imprisonment Faithfully and Impartially Collected for a general Satisfaction Prov. 29.26 Every Man's Judgement cometh from the Lord. Heb. 11.13 These all dyed in Faith Printed in the Year 1662. To the READER READER THou art here presented with a most famous and pregnant Instance of the weakness and incapacity of Death yea of the worst of Deaths to disturb or in the least to discompose the Spirits of Saints who through the Faith of the Gospel have entred into Rest. Death is indeed a King of Terrors to the children of this world Col. 3.15 but it is neither King nor terrible to him in whose heart the Peace of God rules and reigns Christ hath said Oh Death I will be thy death how can it then have any Terror in it when there is no life in it it is now no more to a Believer than a dead or painted Lion which because of the want of life can upon no other account be reckoned terrible We have seen Death conquered before our faces and a company of poor frail men subject to like passions with our selves enabled by the Lord to bid defiance to that the fear of which makes the highest and greatest of men all their life-time subject to Bondage Certainly these men did familiarize Death to themselves by those many qualified and easie Notions of it which do so frequently occur in Scripture Job calls it a going to bed and a lying down to rest and sleep Job 14.1 13 14. a hiding in the Grave till the Indignation be overpast a great and signal change infinitely for our advantage yea he looks upon it as that which is in a near relation to him calling it his Father Mother and Sister Job 17.1 Old Simeon calls it but a Discharge from our Imprisonment And the Apostle looks upon it as a way to bring unto Jesus Christ Luk. 2.2 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 which is best of all Surely these men had no other apprehensions of Death than what did comport with all the fore-going Scriptural Representations of it whereof we have a most plain and clear Evidence in that they did without the least fear play on the hole of this Asp Isaiah 11.8 and with so much courage put their hand on the den of this Cockatrice and so often with Agag though in a more elevated sense and upon far better grounds express with so great and open confidence 1 Sam. 15.32 that the bitterness of Death was past And surely upon a serious and impartial reflexion upon the several Passages contained in the ensuing Narrative relating to the Lives and Deaths of these men the best grounded and the most critical Charity notwithstanding the Obliquity and Odium that lies upon the Fact for which they suffered will command us to hope and believe that they were wonderfully supported and strengthened by the Lord to drink of that bitter Cup which their Father had given them Joh. 18.11 Heb. 12 1 2. We cannot but believe that while they did run with such patience the Race which was set before them they did look to JESUS their fore-runner the Author and Finisher of their Faith and so for the Joy that was set before them endured the Cross and despised the Shame and having overcome are now set down with CHRIST upon his Throne Rev. 3 21. even as He overcame and is set down with his Father on his Throne What remains then but that we should be continually above the fear of Death which looks most gashly at a distance but when we approach it and begin to converse with it we finde that it hath neither strength nor sting and though before we came near to it we suspected it to be an Enemy yet now we perceive it is a Friend and comes to us onely upon this errand to let us know that the Bridegroom stayes for us and would have us partake of his Joy by a present entrance with Him into the Bride-Chamber Yea though thy Death comes in great Pomp and Solemnity in its Fiery Chariot yet do thou the rather for this smile upon it and give it a chearful welcome For if Believers are capable of any honour in this world it is that they are accounted worthy to suffer for the Name and Cause of their Lord and Master JESUS CHRIST This was that which gave the Church at Philippi the preheminence Phil. 1.29 that unto them it was given in the behalf of CHRIST not only to believe on him but also to Suffer for his sake Oh if the Servants of God did but believe this there would be as much crouding at the Court of Heaven for this Preferment as there is at the Courts of earthly Princes for Promotion and Advancement in their Church and State How did the primitive Christians long for Martyrdom seeking and pursuing after it publickly and boldly to the very Teeth of the Tyrants and Persecutors proclaiming their Christianity and therewith their zeal and readiness to water it with their Bloud If we are not attained to this yet let us with much courage and chearfulness conflict with it when it first sets upon us let the Gibbet and the Stake be the most pleasant and delightful prospects to us when the Providence of GOD for Christ's Cause and Interest brings us to them being assured of this that if the LORD vouchsafe so much of his comforting and supporting Presence to his People who declaredly suffer for Him in a Cause that is at least very doubtful to many good and holy men then He will much more stand by those who lay down their Lives in behalf of that which is clear and certain to all Hebr. 12.1 and concerning the truth of which we are compassed about with so great a Cloud of Witnesses Let not therefore the Worm Jacob be discouraged seeing the LORD hath promised to be with him to strengthen him to help him and to uphold him with the right hand of his Righteousness Onely look well to the setling of your Spiritual state else your hearts will not be quiet and setled when you come to dye Get an Interest in JESUS CHRIST who alone hath abolished Death and brought Life and Immortality to light through the Gospel 2 Tim. 1.10 If thou art in CHRIST then though thou dyest the Covenant is still alive the Relation of GOD to Abraham was as firme and strong when he had been a long time dead as when he was alive therefore sayes he I AM the God of Abraham Matth. 22.32 c. And to conclude Get your hearts loosened from this present evil World be ye first crucified to

Friends told him Well now the time draws nigh who answered I am ready I am ready Then came the Order for his going to the Sled upon which he went with all chearfulness and so went forward with undaunted courage to meet Death in the face like a Christian Souldier indeed who through the Lord's assistance presently obtained more than a Conquest over all his Enemies As he was in the Sled and drew near to the place of Execution a Friend came to him and said Sir I have a great desire to know how it is with you and how the Lord is pleased to manifest himself unto you in the condition you are now in The Colonel replyed Friend I thank you I bless the Lord I have great cause to praise and magnifie his great and glorious Name for his unspeakable goodness towards me especially in this present dispensation for I can truly say and that by experience that the Goodness of the Lord endures for ever and praised be God for this present tryal The same Friend further replyed and said I pray Sir are you not at all dejected in your spirits are you not cast down in your mind have you not hard thoughts of God for this his strange providence towards you The Colonel replyed Friend I shall endeavour to satisfie you as well as I can in this matter and I let you know that I have not the least trouble upon my heart nor the least burden upon my spirit upon the account of my Sufferings neither have I any hard thoughts of God but on the contrary can speak to the praise of his Grace that his Goodness hath carried me forth above the fear of all these things And my Friend let me tell you further That I have had more experience of God and more acquaintance with God within these three or four dayes than ever I had in all my life and at this present I am so far from being dejected or cast down in my spirits as that I am so much elevated and lifted up in my soul that I am not able to tell you how it is with me And when he was ready to rise out of the Sled another Friend came to him and asked him how he did To whom he answered I bless the Lord I am very well and do no more value what I am now going about than this straw taking up a piece of a straw in his hand I have sayes he made many a Charge in my time but now I have but one Charge more to make and then I shall be at rest Here followeth two Letters of his to two of his old faithful Friends eminent persons in the City of London A Letter from Col. John Okey directed to a Relation of his to be by him communicated to some Christian Friends of his acquaintance about the City of London SIR HAving a little time in this place before I am removed to Newgate where I am to go as I am informed I thought good to give you some account how it is with me concerning my better part I bless the Lord I never found so much spiritual joy some years before as I have in Prison it is according as the Apostle speaks 2 Cor. 1.3 4 5. And therefore let the People of God not fear a Prison or to suffer in the Cause of God I shall give you a touch but of three things viz. 1. How it is with me in my spiritual condition 2. I shall speak something of the Cause for which I suffer the loss of all things which are near and dear unto me in this evil world 3. In the last place What a Mercy it is when the Lord is pleased to call forth a creature to suffer for the Truths of our Lord Jesus Christ in such a day as this is I believe you have heard these from some other of the Servants of the Lord that have gone before in whole dishes but you are like to have them in a broken dish and but a few scraps in comparison to that great feast you have had before from them that are now with the Lord. Our Afflictions sanctified are good Cordials to the soul and therefore it is no marvel that David said It is good for me that I have been afflicted And as one observeth and saith well a Prison being the place where wanting other Books a man may there best study the Book of the knowledge of himself being separated from all business but praying and praising the Lord God in Christ by the Spirits assistance And since I have by the help of the Lord looked in some measure into my heart I could not have thought there had been so much ignorance and impatience pride inordinate affection to creature-comforts revenge difidence of God self-love and iniquity of all kinds in me as I now find there is and although the Lord in great mercy hath kept me by his mighty power and restraining grace from those Jayl-bird sins as Swearing Drunkenness Lying Uncleanness and hating of his People yet I find a mass of corruption in me and a multitude of transgressions so that my sins are as the hairs of my head which cannot be numbred for the multitude of them and all this darkness and filthiness of spirit is only discovered by the light of Christ By his lowliness in washing the Apostles feet I see the height of pride in my own spirit and want of condescention when I was in prosperity and my unfruitfulness under the means of Grace and little good I did when I had an opportunity thereunto and therefore I adore and acknowledge the Justice of God that he hath most righteously deprived me of my Liberty and Estate truly now I am thereby brought nearer to Christ whereby I find through Grace that Christ is become very precious to me And more to be desired than Gold yea 1 Pet 2.7 than fine Gold and sweeter than the Honey or the Honey-comb And this I can say through Mercy I do desire to love the good Word of the Lord before my appointed food I have begged of the Lord that he would enable me more and more that I may lay open before him all my sins known or unknown and to loath my self for them and that not only for the shame which sin bringeth but rather because I should sin against so good a God and loving Father in Christ Jesus as I have done and especially for my actual known sins committed against so much Love Light Promises and Covenants from a gracious God that will not destroy me for all my abominations blessed be his holy Name for ever and for ever I desire continually to go out of my self and to rely on the Righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ who only is the Fountain of Life and in his Light we shall see light Oh! what Mercy is it that the Lord should be pleased out of his great Love and Compassion to cast the mantle of his free Grace upon such a poor worm as I am and

society of Christian Friends After he was risen from Dinner he looked towards the Window and seeing the people passe by Truly saith he I would not be as those people are that walk at liberty and go where they will I am better where I am and about better work since it is that which my Master meaning Christ hath called me to and counts me worthy to be imployed in nor will it be long ere I receive my wages though I confess I have done little or nothing for it I am sure not in comparison of what I might or ought to have done Ah! the Riches of Grace saith he Ah! the compleat and al-sufficient Righteousness of Jesus Christ Ah! the Satisfaction which he hath made for poor sinners which word Satisfaction he often mentioned Yea and how sweet is that word too where it is said He makes Intercession for us and lives to that end and for ever too Heb. 7.25 It will not be long now ere I know the meaning of these things more fully Had I lived to dye a natural death in all likelihood it would not have been many years being so aged as I am already and then I might have dyed a worse death by far than now I am to undergo for this is an honourable one How great a Mercy is it said a Friend that God hath thus quieted your mind and that he thus chears and warms your heart even while the thoughts of Death are upon it to have the fear of that King of Terrors thus banished from you how singular a favour is it and what an argument of God's Love to you and of his Presence with you It is indeed said he and I hope it is partly in Answer to the Prayers of Friends whom I perceive God hath stirred up to pray much for me and I beseech you saith he let them not cease but still hold me up before the Lord the little space I am yet to abide here And because saith he I know not how soon I shall be called to my Tryal I earnestly desire that some Friends would keep a day with me here in this place if it may be with safety and conveniency if not yet somewhere else which in answer to his desire was done accordingly upon Wednesday April 16. which was the day of his Tryal The next morning being Thursday some of his near Relations and Friends that came to visit him having heard some malicious reports to his prejudice as that he had denyed his Name and not owned himself to be the person that was mentioned in the Act when he was at Westminster at the Kings-Bench Bar earnestly desired him to let them know the truth of things from his own mouth To which he readily answered That he was much mis-understood and wrongfully presented if any said so of him And moreover said That he blessed God he was neither ashamed of his Name nor of his Cause nor of his Master and hoped never should and then related as followeth That his Brethren Col. Barkstead Col. Okey and himself being brought before their Judges were there called all by their names to which they made answer and as they were bid held up their hands Then the Question being put what they had to say for themselves concerning the Fact which they stood there arraigned for and which they were charged with in the Act of Parliament at that time read before them Mr. Corbet answered he did not take himself to be the person named in the said Act for that he did never maliciously wickedly and traiterously imagine contrive or endeavour to murder the late King as was there charged upon him in the said Act and therefore desired them to prove it What! said some on the Bench will you deny your Names now did you not answer to and hold up your hands at those Names To which Col. Okey made answer not understanding Mr. Corbet's drift which was to have a Proof made that they were guilty in manner and form as the Act expresseth it he would never deny his Name for the matter No more will I saith Mr. Corbet neither do I But may there not be more men of my Name saith Mr. Corbet that perhaps may have been guilty of malice against the King though for my own part I never was Then Col. Okey began to perceive his mistake and Col. Barkstead also who being thus rectified Mr. Corbet proceeded and told the Judge It was true they were called by their right Names and did accordingly own them yet saith he it doth not judicially appear to this Court that we are the persons meant in the Act putting an emphasis on the word Judicially No! saith one the Parliament hath adjudged it and you are the men Yet however said some let a Jury be empanelled and then the Atturney General saying that he was ready for a Tryal a Jury was called against which no Exceptions being made Evidences were taken and they found guilty The Judge then asked again what they had now to say why Sentence should not pass Mr. Corbet replyed he humbly conceived the Proceedings of the Court were not regular nor agreeable to former Presidents for according to Law there ought first to be an Indictment an Information and Scire Facias as was in the Case of Sir Walter Rawleigh all which were pre-requisit to an Issue in Law as their Lordships well knew so that here was a Conclusion without Premises Yet if it should please the Judges to over-rule it he was contented carrying himself with much reverence and respect unto the Court. To which either the Atturney General or some other replyed that Mr. Corbet said truth as to ordinary proceedings but here it was extraordinary viz. by Act of Parliament in a Bill of Attainder and then cited a Book-case of one Stafford who was thus proceeded against sentenced and executed in Henry the 7ths time To which Mr. Corbet replyed again he had nothing to say to that but what the Authority of the Nation had made Law he must submit to and did acknowledge as things stood they did proceed according to the Rules given them and in that respect did what was just according to the present Law But did you not confess the Fact saith one by your own flight it being a known Maxime Qui fugam facit fatetur facinus To which Col. Barkstead answered that he for his part fled for fear of an Arrest threatned against him for twenty thousand pounds for pretended false Imprisonment Mr. Corbet said that he for his part did not sly for twelve years together after the Fact done and that any body who had a mind to it might easily have seized him it being well known where he was all that time and when he did fly it was not prohibited nor any way unlawful as conceived for himself or others so to do and now that he was returned again he knew not that he was an out-law'd person and if occasion had been could have been ready to have

traversed any Suit commenced against him And as for what he had done in this business that there he stood accused for he said he was engaged in it by the then Supream Publick Authority of the Nation the lawfulness of which Authority he said at that time was every-where acknowledged and reputed so to be and had he not this to plead for himself he should then have thought that what was done by himself and others had been very wicked and abominable But the Authority being since that time changed and new Laws made by which both the Fact and the Power it self too by vertue of which it was done are both said to have been invalid though the Law-makers at that time did not think so he had nothing further to adde but only to leave this one word with them from Isa. 33.22 The LORD is our Judge the LORD is our Law-maker the LORD is our King He will save us You mistake saith one it is not Law-maker but Law-giver in the Text. But in the Margent saith Mr. Corbet it is Law-maker This is a true Relation of this matter as near as possibly can be taken from his own mouth if any mistake be in a word ignorantly related or sentence misplaced the Reader is desired to pardon it This Mr. Corbet having been heretofore bred at Lincolns-Inn and known to be a good Lawyer and late Lord Chief Baron in Ireland and also much acquainted by long experience with Affairs of State as having been a Member in all the Parliaments that have sat since the beginning of the late King's Reign and being also further known to have been an antient and long-experienc'd sound Christian a man of a very tender Conscience and of an holy Life and Conversation and that as well in his greatest Prosperity as in his Adversity it was the earnest desire of many even of all parties that knew him fully and clearly to understand from his own mouth especially now in this time of his Affliction what inward peace quiet and satisfaction he had in his own Conscience touching that Act which he was condemned and very shortly to dye for and which passeth under so many dreadful names of the most horrid heinous wicked and unwarrantable Act that was ever done of the vilest Murder most execrable Regicide detestable and bloody Crime that men ever were guilty of and like unto which none hath been said to have been ever perpetrated in this world before except the putting of Christ himself to death His Answer to this Question was the more desired because he being taken for so good a Christian and so able experienced a Lawyer and Statesman as is before described his Opinion therein would be the more considerable and his words be of the greater weight which side soever they should fall whether to the Justification or the Condemnation of the Fact Now to this Question which he said he had long before examined thorowly and very well digested he said he would make this true faithful and ingenuous Answer and hoped he should stand to it and maintain it to his last breath And although he did find he said some near Relations were not of his mind in it yet for his own part he remained steady and unmoveable therein and before several Witnesses which he hath now left surviving that heard him declared as followeth First he said When he was named and appointed by the Parliament to be one of the Judges he was not present in the House nor did he at any time give his own personal consent thereto or approbation of it but rather fully resolved never to engage in that business Secondly When the Bill came into the House he spake against it and gave his Reasons nor could he be drawn by any Arguments to appear in the High Court of Justice or allow of their Proceedings Yet thirdly The state of Affairs being as then they were and the Consequence on both sides either of owning or not owning and joyning in that Act being with much prayer and consideration well weighed by him he at last came to a fixed settlement in his mind about these ensuing particulars 1. That the Supream Authority of the Nation as then it stood notwithstanding the Alterations made in it being generally accepted and submitted to at home and owned by forreign States abroad without any question made of it from the body and bulk of the People though here and there some scrupled it whose Interest lay contrary was lawful and sufficient to warrant all that was or should be done in reference to the late King 2 That the solemn Appeals made to God on both sides both by the King on his side and by the Parliament on their side all the time of the War and answered so distinctly and fully from Heaven on behalf of the Parliament as all men then seemed to judge did further confirm him in the warrantableness of their Undertakings and righteousness of the whole Cause 3. That the foresight of such miserable Changes as by return of the Hierarchy and the concommitants and effects thereof which he saw was aimed at and did believe was intended by the late King at least after some time did greatly induce him to look into and fully inform himself about the matter of the Charge against the said late King 4. That upon mature and long debates of Parliament and such as were authorized to search into the Charge aforesaid he found things fully proved and moreover said that the matters objected were of a very unusual and high nature but that which principally swayed him to do what he did was the Blood of Ireland and the levying War against the Parliament who were thereupon forced for their own defence and the safety of the People by whom they were trusted and whom they did represent to take up Arms and so against their wills to maintain a most costly dangerous and unnatural War 5. That though he was now fully satisfied in his own mind of the lawfulness of the Fact as well as of the Power by which it was done and that it was his duty no longer to stand out but to joyn with his Brethren as an Actor in it or else might become guilty of unfaithfulness to the Cause of God and his Country yet such was his base and timerous spirit that he kept back and would not appear in it the rather because he was much set upon by his Nephew Sir Thomas Corbet who then lived in the house with him not to meddle at all or have any hand in it Now this Sir Thomas Corbet having a very considerable Estate to which himself was next Heir and which in case he should go cross to his mind in this business he had power by cutting off the Entail to give away from him and his Children he was loth to displease for he saw apparantly which way his said Nephew was bent Yet 6. Notwithstanding this Conscience wrought much with him and would not suffer him he said to be

thus ended Mr. Corbet himself gave thanks praying to and praising God with such melting language such readiness of speech such a composed frame of heart and such holy well-digested matter that it much affected some that joyned with him to hear an old Disciple of Jesus Christ so nigh his Death and such a Death as he was within a few hours to undergo to have a mind so sweetly setled without any the least seeming disturbance at all Among other passages in that his heavenly Prayer these were some viz. That as God had been his Guide unto Death so now he prayed that he would be his Support in Death that he would make Death a safe and speedy passage unto Glory That God would enable him to make a good Confession of Him before men and carry him well through that new kind of terrible work which he was now about to undertake in His Name and Strength and in Witness to His Cause That he might joyfully go hence as from the use of creatures which he had been now refreshed with so most of all from Sin and the snares of it With divers other like expressions fitted to his present case Time growing short now I stand saith he upon dying-ground and every inch is precious I had need therefore improve it to the utmost and so called to such as were present to joyn in Prayer with him and for him and accordingly they did so the Lord assisting him that was the mouth of the Company with Petitions very sweet and pertinent to the occasion The Prayer ended he fell to discourse again and speaking of Sufferings Truly saith he it is not an ordinary common spirit that will fit men for such Work and when I think of that froward and bitter carriage which still I find and now leave among the People of God I wonder what God will do upon it and fear the consequence if it be not repented of and removed And then again he renewed his aforesaid dying Requests which he had mentioned the night before further entreating that every one would make it their business to perswade all parties of God's People how differing soever in their Opinions to give no further advantage to the Common Enemy by their still continued unbrotherly distances and divisions but that they would rather exhort and admonish each other and set upon a personal and friendly Converse together which he said is one of the best means to unite and strengthen And for this he again propounded Dr. Preston's Counsel and Example one of whom saith he I may truly say that he was a man of the most excellent parts the sweetest Friend and the most savory Christian that ever I was acquainted with A Friend coming in that he had not seen before but wished for made haste to one of the other Prisoners who expected him and so took leave of him then he taking the said Friend by the hand desired him to remember him very kindly to his Brethren and Fellow-Sufferers and tell them saith he that I pray for them as I am able and desire them to do the like for me That God may appear for us and with us and be magnified by our Death Then speaking afterwards of his ten Brethren that first suffered in this Cause Those saith he that went first had the greatest Honour and usually they that have the first Honour in Sufferings have an answerable Assistance and Presence of God with them but we that follow them may haply miss of such eminent Appearances as they had with them Nay saith a Friend but why do you say so were not their Assistances for the encouragement of others and hath not God been very much with you and do you not even at this present find it so why therefore should you now doubt To which he answered It is true indeed you speak well I must confess I can say Eben-ezer Hitherto God hath helped me and I hope saith he he will still do it and enable me from former experiences to trust Him to the last only this I find that all my Comfort and Support comes in by a present Faith I remember saith he that speech of the Psalmist Thy People shall be willing in the day of thy Power and truly it must be a supernatural Power that must make flesh and blood willing and Oh that I may be willing I desire to be so for God doth not love an unwilling sacrifice that must be pulled and haled like a Dog in a string No the excellency of our services is from the freeness and readiness of our performance when in sincerity and in truth Blessed be God saith one I am comforted to hear you speak thus If God saith he will be with me I shall both speak and do too Ah saith he when I think of Stephen the Proto-martyr how the Heavens opened upon him and what a sight they gave him of the Son of God whilst the stones were about his ears it much encourageth me Some think saith he it was the intensness of Stephen's natural eye at that time raised and strengthened on purpose to behold that most comfortable and glorious object but if God will please to give me an eye of Faith to behold him at the Throne of his Father interceding for me and ready to receive me when I am giving up the ghost and pouring out my blood for him it will do as well Ah! the Righteousness of Jesus Christ saith he his compleat and most unspotted Righteousness the Righteousness of the Lamb slain from the beginning of the world Ah! how glorious is it to appear before God in that Robe Oh! that I may be found not having mine own righteousness but the Righteousness of this Son of God upon me Then a Friend telling him that so long as he held there he would have good hope indeed and a solid and sound peace for it is that Righteousness that we must all trust to if ever we get to Heaven Yea saith he and through Grace I have trusted to it and the more I think of it the more I cleave to it and see the need of it me-thinks it grows upon me I am greatly raised with my expectations from it else I am sure I should have sunk long ere this time but still I can say Eben-ezer an expression much used by him hitherto God hath helped me About an hour before the Sleds came he was speaking of the Providence of God in freeing his mind from cares and distractions about matters of this world Had I had an Estate saith he to leave behind with my Relations I should have been troubled about the dividing and disposing of it one would have been asking this of me another would have been asking that but now I am eased of all that trouble what Estate I had I spent it all in the Parliament service and now must leave my poor Wife and Children to the good Providence of God and the love of such Friends as he shall please to stir up to