Selected quad for the lemma: death_n
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A01647
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A relation of the fearefull estate of Francis Spira in the yeare, 1548.
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Bacon, Nathaniel, 1593-1660.
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1638
(1638)
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STC 1178.5; ESTC S118976
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22,974
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142
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therefore the grievousnesse of thy sin if anie such be amaze thee You say right replyed he the divell hath possest mee and God hath left me to his power for I finde I can neither beleeve the Gospel nor trust in Gods mercie I have sinned against the holy Ghost and God by his immutable Decree hath bound mee over to perpetuall punishment without anie hope of pardon It is true that the greatnesse of sin or the multitude of them cannot bind Gods mercie all those manie sins that in the former part of my life I have committed then did not so much trouble mee for I trusted that God would not lay them to my charge but now having sinned against the holy Ghost God hath taken away from me all power of repentance now brings all my sins to remembrance and thus guiltie of one guiltie of all And therefore it is no matter whether my sinnes be great or small few or many they are such as Christ's bloud nor Gods mercie belongs to mee God will have mercie on whom hee will have mercie and whom he will he hardneth this is it that gnaws my heart hee hath hardned mee and I finde that he daily more and more doth harden mee and therefore I am out of hope I feele it and therefore cannot but despaire I tell you there was never such a monster as I am never was man alive a spectacle of so exceeding misery I knew that justification is to be expected by Christ and I denied and abjured it to the end I might keepe this fraile life from adversitie and my children from povertie and now behold how bitter this life is to mee and God only knowes what shall become of this my family but surely no good is likely to betide it but rather daily worse and worse and such a ruin at the length as that one stone shall not be left on another But why should you said Gribauldus conceit so deepely of your sinne seeing you cannot but know that manie have denied Christ yet never fell into despaire Well said hee I can see no ground of comfort for such neither can I warrant them from Gods revēging hand in wrath though it pleaseth God yet to suffer such to bee in peace and besides there will a time of change come and then they shall be throughly tryed and if it were not so yet God is just in making mee an Example to others and I cannot justly complain there is no punishment so great but I have deserved it for this so heinous offence I assure you it is no small matter to denie Christ and yet it is more ordinary then commonly men doe conceive of it is not a deniall made before a Magistrate as it is with mee for as often as a Christian doth dissemble the knowne truth as often as hee approves of false worship by presenting himselfe at it so often as hee doth not things worthy of his calling or such things as are unworthy of his calling so often hee denies Christ thus did I and therefore am justly punished for it Your estate quoth Gribauldus is not so strange as you make it Iob was so farre gone that hee complained God had set him as a marke against him and David that was a man after Gods owne heart complained often that God had forsaken him and was become his enemy yet both received comfort againe comfort your selfe therefore God will come at length though hee now seeme farre off O Brother answered Spira I beleeve all this the divels beleeve and tremble but David was ever elected and dearely beloved of God and though he fell yet God tooke not utterly away his holy Spirit and therefore was heard when he prayed Lord take not thy holy Spirit from mee but I am in another case being ever accursed from the presence of God neither can I pray as he did because his holy Spirit is quite gone and cannot be recalled therefore I know I shall live in continuall hardnesse so long as I live O that I might feele but the least sense of the love of God to mee though but for one small moment as I now feele his heavie wrath that burnes like the torments of hell within mee and afflicts my Conscience with pangs unutterable verily desperation is hell it selfe Heere Gribauldus said I doe verily beleeve Spira that God having so severely chastised you in this life correcteth you in mercie heere that he may spare you hereafter and that he hath mercies sealed up for you in time to to come Nay said Spira hence doe I know that I am a reprobate because he afflicteth mee with hardnesse of heart Oh that my body had suffered all my life long so that hee would bee pleased to release my soule and ease my Conscience this burthened Conscience Gribauldus being desirous to ease his minde from the continuall meditation of his sinne as also to sound how for the present he stood affected to the Romish Church asked him what hee thought became of the soules of men so soone as they departed out of the bodie to which hee answered Although this bee not so fully revealed in Scripture yet I verily beleeve that the soules of the Elect goe presently to the Kingdome of glory and not that sleep with the bodie as some doe imagine Verie well said one of the spectators why doe the Scriptures then say that God brings downe to hell and raiseth up seeing it cannot be meant of the estate of the soule after death which as thou sayest either goeth to heaven without change or to hell without redemption it must be understood of the estate of the soule in this life like that wherein thou art at this present and oftentimes wee see that God suffers men to fall into the jawes of despaire and yet raiseth them up again and therefore despaire not but hope it shall bee even thus with thee in his good time This is the worke quoth Spira this the labour for I tell you when I at Venice did first abjure my profession and so as it were drew an Indenture the Spirit of God often admonisht mee and when at Cittadella I did as it were set to my seale the Spirit of God often suggested to mee Doe not write Spira do not seale yet I resisted the Holy Ghost and did both and at that very present I did evidently feele a wound inflicted in my very will so although I can say I would beleeve yet can I not say I will beleeve God hath denied mee the power of will and it befalls mee in this my miserable estate as with one that is fast in irons and his friends comming to see him doe pitie his estate and doe perswade him to shake off his setters and to come out of his bonds which God knows hee would faine doe but cannot this is my very case you perswade me to beleeve how faine would I doe it but cannot O now I cannot Then violently grasping his hands together and raising
you be called thereto he that loveth father mother brothers sisters sons daughters kindred houses lands more then Christ is not worthie of him These words said they doe not sound like the words of a wicked Reprobate I doe but herein imitate said Spira the rich Glutton in the Gospel who though in hell yet was carefull that his brethren should not come to that place of torment and I say to you Brethren take heed of this miserable estate wherein I am Then turning himselfe to certaine young men that were present hee desired them to conceive him aright I doe not speak this to derogate from the certaintie of saving faith and the promises of the Gospel for they are most sure but take heed of relying on that Faith that works not a holy and unblameable life worthy of a beleever credit mee it will faile I have tried it I presumed I had gotten the right faith I preached it to others I had all places of Scripture in memorie that might support it I thought my selfe sure and in the meane time living impiously and carelesly behold now the judgements of God have overtaken mee not to correction but to condemnation and now you would have mee to beleeve but it will not bee for I feele too late that good things belong onely to such as are good whose sinnes are covered with Christs death and bloud as with a vaile and guarded with his righteous merits from the floud of Gods warth even as with a mightie wall left miserable mortals should bee swallowed up with the greatnesse of their sinnes But as for mee I have as it were wilfully with mine hands pulled downe this rampire behind which I might have rested in safetie and now are the swelling waters come even to my soule and I am cast away One of his familiar friends chanced to say that certainly he was overcome with melancholy which being overheard Spira answered Well bee it so seeing you will needs have it so for thus also is Gods wrath manifested against me in that hee hath taken from mee the use of mine understanding and reason so as I can neither rightly esteeme and judge of my distemper nor hope of remedie you see Brethren what a dangerous thing it is to stoppe or stay in things that concerne Gods glorie especially to dissemble upon anie termes what a fearefull thing is it to be neare and almost a Christian never was the like example to this of mine and therefore if you bee wise you will seriously consider therof Oh that God would let loose his hand from me that it were with me now as in times past I would scorn the threats of the most cruell Tyrants beare torments with invincible resolution and glorie in the outward profession of Christ till I were choked in the flame and my body consumed to ashes You say you are desperate O Spira said they why then doe you not strive with some weapon or other violently to make an end of your life as desperate men use to doe Let mee have a sword sayd Spira why what would you doe with it quoth they I cannot tell you said hee what this minde would move me to upon occasion nor what I would doe They perceiving smal effect of all this their labour but rather that he grew worse for the avoiding of concourse of people for everie day seldome fewer then 20 continued with him to stop the course of fame which was continually blowne abroad of him they consult to carry him backe againe into his owne countrey and those his friends that came to comfort him began to take their leaves of him Vergerius among the rest required that at their parting they might pray together with him Spira hardly consented and as unwillingly performed for hee said My heart is estranged from God I cannot call him Father from my heart all good motions are now quite gone my heart is full of malediction hatred and blasphemy against God I finde I grow more and more hardned in heart and cannot stoope nor helpe my selfe your prayers for mee shall turne to your owne benefit they can doe mee no good Vergerius came to take his leave of him whom Spira embracing said Although I know that nothing can bring any benefit to mee a Reprobate but that every thing shall tend to my deeper condemnation yet I give you most hearty thankes for your kinde office of love and good will and the Lord returne it unto you with a plentifull increase of all good The next day being brought downe to his intended Iourney by the way looking round about him with a ghastly looke he saw a knife lying on a Table to which he running hastily snatched hold of as intending to mischiefe himselfe but his friends laying hold of him stopped him in his purpose whereupon with indignation hee said I would I were above God for I know hee will have no mercy on me Thus went he homewards often saying that the envied the condition of Cain and Iudas hee lay about 8. weekes in this case in a continuall burning neither desiring nor receiving any thing but by force and that without disgestion so spent that hee appeared a perfect Anatomie expressing to the view nothing but sinewes and bones vehemently raging for drinke ever pining yet fearefull to live long dreadfull of hell yet coveting death in a continuall torment yet his own tormentour and thus consuming himselfe with griefe and horrour impatience despaire like a living man in Hell hee represented an extraordinary example of the justice and power of God and thus as farre as appeareth within a few dayes after his arrivall at his owne home he departed this present life Yet an occasion to make us remember that secret things belong unto the Lord our God but charitie to man to teach him to hope all things EXtraordinary examples of Divine Iustice God never intended for a nine dayes wonder else would hee when hee exemplifi'd Lots wife have turned her into a statue of melting snow not of lasting salt which stood as Iosephus tells us till his age after the destruction of Ierusalem and as some Travellers report till at this day ut quoddam hominibus praestaret condimentum quo sapiant unde illud caveatur exemplum Aug. de civit Dei lib. 16. c. 30. for a season against corruption a preservative against Apostacie This Tragedy when fresh and new was the conversion and confirmation of sundry Worthies Vergerius a daily spectator thereof forsaking a rich Bishopricke of Iustinopolis and tents of Antichrist went to Basil and dyed a worthy Protestant many Nations had Eye-witnesses of their owne Students then in the Vniversitie of Padua who penned the Story the Copies wherof are frequently revived our English ones were very defective and now worne out of shoppes and hands sundry manuscripts of this abroad imperfect which moved mee to compare this labour of a worthy Gentleman who faithfully translated it out of Italian French and Dutch Letters with the Latine of Caelius Secundus Curio Mattheus Gribauldus professors of the Civill Law in Padua Sigismund Gelous a Transilvanian Henricus Scotus all daily visitors of Spira and finde it accord with them Touching Spiraes person I finde most learned writers to incline to the right and hopefull hand moved by his sweet humble and charitable speeches some few desperate ones excepted that fell from him in some little agonies which kept him fasting and watching about six moneths space eating nothing but what was forced downe his throat The sum of Calvins and Borrhaus their their counsels who writ largely of the use of this pattern is that all learne to take heed of backe-sliding which Gods soule abhorres and not to dally with Conscience and hell on earth if justly incensed more to be feared then the Spanish Inquisition or all the Strappadoes and torments in the world and to take heed of Spira's principall Errors which were to dispute with Satan over busily in time of weakenesse especially to reason and conclude from present sense to Gods past Reprobation and future Damnation both which is hard if possible for any man to determine in his owne much more in others cases so commending thee to his grace who is able to establish thee to the end I bid thee farewell and hope well while the space of Grace lasteth Dum spiras spera so mayest thou take good and no hurt by the reading of this terrible example FINIS Decemb. 2. 1637. Imprimatur Tho Wykes R. P. Episc Lond. Cap. Domest Rom. 8. 28. Rom. 2. 15. Ps 119. Luk. 27. 61. Matt. 10. 33. Psal 1. Rom. 9. 11. and Rom. 4. Iam. 2. 10. Rom. 9. 18. 1 Sam. 2. 6. Psal 32. 11. * Signifies the god of flies Psal 6. 5. Psal 89. 30. Eccles 9. 1. Psal 88. 14. Rom. 8. 16. 1 Cor. 11. 33. Rom. 1. 28. Matth. 7. 22. 1 Cor. 11. 29. Heb. 6. and 10. 26. Pet. 2. 21. Luk. 16. Mat. 27. 4. Rev. 9. 6. Luk. 14. 26.