bee none to deliver us O thou who didst suffer thy selfe to be wounded for our transgressions be pleased to cure the wounds and maladies both of the soule and body of thy distressed servant Thou knowest Lord that the feeble soule cannot praise thee with cheerefullnesse nor serve thee with alacritie The sicknesse of the body disturbeth the soule and maketh it un-apt to serve thee with readinesse O say of his disease that It is enough and remove from him speedily this heavy visitation Thine hand ô Lord is layed upon him and the stroake is so heavy that it woundeth us both Mercifull God let the sinnes of both of us be blotted out of thy remembrance like a clowde Is 44.22 and be appeased with us through the merits of thy Sonne Mar 2.17 The whole have noe neede of thee the physitian but wee that are sick O be thou the Physitian to cure our soules and then in thy good time restore thy diseased servant to his former health But if thou hast sent him this sicknesse as a messenger of death ô give him patience to beare and willingnesse to suffer whatsoever thou sendest Ranke him not in the number of those rich and wicked Eccl. 5.17 who have much sorrow and wrath in their sicknesse but ease his sorrow and appease thy wrath Make him willing to submit to thy will and pleasure that so whether hee liveth Rom. 14.8 hee may live unto thee or whether hee dyeth hee may dye unto thee yea whether hee liveth or dyeth that hee may be thine Luc. 18 13. Lord be likewise mercifull to mee a sinner Thou knowest how deepely this affliction woundeth mee To him thou gavest mee whom now thou visitest that so hee might be both my head and my directour and thou knowest my weakenesse and my frailties that I cannot understand I cannot walke in thy wayes without a counseller I cannot apprehend what I reade Act. 8.31 except some man should guide mee O be thou pleased therfore to spare his life whom I am commanded to learne of at home 1. Cor. 14.35 for if thou callest him to the joy of thine heavenly Kingdome let it be thy goodnesse to moderate my sorrow upon earth If thou takest him from my societie let mee not be left alone but send mee the comforter even thy holy Spirit to be my Protectour and my guide unto death Ps 48.14 Release him of his torments whom thou visitest with this sicknesse and ease thou my sorrowes which arise from his paines Give the comforts of thy Spirit both to him and mee that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may be found of thee in peace 2. Pet. 3.14 Is 9.6 through the merits and mercies of the Prince of peace even Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen THE NINETEENTH SUBJECT Teares of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Mary came where Iesus was Io. 11.32 and saw him shee fell downe at his feete saying unto him Lord if thou hadst beene here my brother had not dyed Shee wept indeede yet it was but for a brother and the Iewes allso wept vers 33. yet it was but for a common friend but what was all that to the death of a husband O my husband my husband That very name of husband mee think's would flatter mee with comfort as if I might imagine that hee could heare mee But oh hee is dead hee is dead hee cannot heare mee hee cannot behould mee hee cannot answer mee his eares are locked up his eyes are closed his mouth is sealed his soule is gone O what shall I doe for my head my guide my heart my husband Were my Saviour upon earth againe I could send one to him as Mary did vers 3. who should say Lord behould hee whom thou lovest is dead Dead say I O dead dead hee is gone hee is departed and can never be re-called But why Why can hee not be called back againe Did not my Iesus cause Lazarus to arise when hee had beene fower dayes dead vers 44 vers 39 Yes hee did but what then I neither love my Saviour so well as Mary did nor I feare doeth hee love mee so well as hee did Mary or if both were so yet since miracles are ceased I cannot so much as hope that hee will call back the spirit of my Lord my husband Oh could hee be wooed by the teares of a sinfull woman never did any mourne so much as I would But nothing will perswade I seeke but the disturbance of him whom I mourne for if I desire to call him from his eternall rest Yet I hope that it is noe sinne to grieve that hee is gone I lament not his happinesse but mine owne losse vers 35 My Iesus himselfe did weepe for Lazarus in testimonie of his affection for so sayd the Iewes vers 36 Behould how hee loved him And was my love to my husband so litle or so cold that I should forget to testifie it in a sorrowfull teare O I cannot forbeare the remembrance of him Is 1.2 Lam 1.12 who was deerer unto mee then life it selfe Heare ô heavens and give eare ô earth Was it nothing to you all yee that were by him when yee saw him breathing out his soule and forsaking the world O behould and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto mee wherewith the Lord hath afflicted mee in this day of his anger Tell mee not how Iacob lamented the supposed death of his sonne Ioseph Hee was misse-taken in the cause but I see and feele the chillowed clay of mine indulgent husband Iacob mourned onely for a sonne but I for an husband Iacob had more many more I had but one 2. Sam 1.26 and the love of this one to mee did passe the love of women Yet though Ioseph was alive and though hee was the youngest save one of twelve sonnes Gent 37.34 Iacob his father rent his cloathes and put sackcloth upon his loynes and mourned for him many dayes c 23.2 Tell mee not how Abraham bewayled the death of Sarah his wife who dyed in Kiriath arba in the land of Canaan Hee was a man so neither his passion nor his losse could paralell mine Hee had more-wives but I had not more husbands And yet though Abraham lost but onely a wife I reade that hee came to mourne and to weepe for her Tell mee not of Abijah the sonne of a King how hee dyed and was lamented Could a Prince be as neere and deare to the people as a loving husband to the wife of his bofome Yet though neither mariage nor blood could pleade for a teare I find that all Israël mourned for him
seldome is love forgotten in the mother of children Cant. 3 6. in whom it is commonly as strong as death vers 7. for many waters cannot quench it neither can the floods drowne it Much therfore I cannot blame the wife of Zebedeus for the fervency of her affection to her beloved Sonnes All that shee erred in was both in the thing shee requested and in the person to whom shee tendered her petition Surely without offence I may likewise besiech my mercifull Saviour that hee will be pleased to undertake the protection of my young ones It is a petition more proper for mee then her's was for her for shee was living and might have beene a comfort unto them but I am dying I am leaving the world I lye drawingon and wayting for that blessed hower of my Saviours comeing All that is left mee now to doe is onely to blesse them before my departure and this is the best legacie that I can bequeath unto them I must I will blesse them by the leave and favour of my God yet not as from my selfe but onely from God not as thinking that my power can purchase their happinesse but praying to him that his blessing may prosper them Thus by faith did dying Iacob blesse both the Sonnes of Ioseph Heb. 11 21. and worshipped leaning upon the top of his staffe Thus old Isaak said unto Esau his Sonne Gen. 27 2. vers 3. Behold now I am old I know not the day of my death now therfore take I pray thee thy we opons thy quiver and thy bowe and goe out to the field and take mee some venison vers 4. and make mee savourie meate such as I love and bring it to mee that I may eate that my soule may blesse thee before I dye Thus Isaak blessed Iacob and said c 28.3 God All-mighty blesse thee and make thee fruitfull and multiplie thee that thou mayest be a multitude of people c. 49.28 Thus Iacob blessed the twelve tribes when hee spake unto them and blessed them every one according to his blessing hee blessed them c 31.55 Thus Laban even in the time of his health rose up early in the morning and kissed his Sonnes and his daughters and blessed them and then departed and returned to his place Yea thus even Moses who was but a leader of the people and not so neerely linked unto them by the bonds of nature blessed them and sayd Deut. 1 11. The Lord God of your fathers make you a thousand times so many more as yee are and blessed you as hee hath promised you Thus the same Moses againe drawing neere to the time of his leaving the world c. 33.1 with his blessing did blesse the children of Israel before his death Thus when the dayes of David drew neere that hee should dye 1. King 2.1 hee gave a charge and a blessing to his beloved Sonne Solomon And noe marveile since it is most true that hee whom God blesseth is blessed Num 22.6 and hee whom hee curseth is cursed The blessing of a parent is nothing but a prayer to the giver of good things Iam. 1.17 that hee may be pleased to send his blessing on their issue Mee thinks therfore the words of Samuel which hee sayd unto the people doe take a deepe impression in my breast 1. Sam. 12.23 for hee sayd God forbid that I should sinne against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you With leave then of my God I will see my children and I will kisse them as Laban did his and I will likewise blesse them The Lord direct mee in my prayers for them and the Lord accept my prayers grant my requests which I shall make unto him for them part 2 The Second part being the benediction or blessing it selfe ending in a prayer MY deerest children yee whom I love in the tender yerning bowells of affection draw neere and attend to the words of your dying mother A weake woman yee see I am but yet sinfull I am which peradventure yee see not O weepe not my prettie ones doe not pierce and breake my troubled heart with your sad laments I must dye my litle ones and goe to a better place whither yee I hope shall one day follow mee Wee came not together into the world nor shall wee goe together out of it In vaine doe yee shed those teares of sorrow for allthough nature teacheth you to bewayle my departure yet grace will teach you to moderate your mourning My heart even bleede's to leave you behind mee fearing lest yee will forget the commandements of your God I should be sorrie to have just cause to say unto you as Moses did to the Levites yet I will put you in mind of his words Deut. 31.27 Behold sayd hee while I am yet alive with you this day yee have beene rebellious against the Lord vers 29 how much more after my death I know that after my death yee will utterly corrupt your selves and turne aside from the way which I commanded you and evill will befall you in the latter dayes because yee will doe evill in the sight of the Lord Heb. 6.9 to provoke him to anger through the worke of your hands But I am perswaded better things of you and things that accompanie salvation though I thus speake O my deare ones hearken unto the words which I shall say They must be my legacie unto you heare mee with patience and treasure up in your memories the last speech of your fainting your dying mother How deare yee cost mee before yee had life and what pangs and torments I suffered for you before yee were heard or seene in the world yee cannot imagine nor I expresse Yet all was forgotten for joy that yee were borne Ioa 16.21 and hoping that yee would adde unto the quire of Saints To this purpose I have laboured and taken care for the nourishment both of your soules bodies and for your sustentation so much as in mee lay from the breast to this instant O what sad and perplexed thoughts have I had for you in the day times and how many howers have I borrowed from my sleepe in the nights to thinke what would become of you if yee should not be obedient to the commandements of my God! To the same God they are best knowne O how often upon my knees have I prayed for your happinesse and wept and mourned when yee have done what yee ought not To him is it best knowne to whom I now am goeing Sometimes when yee have offended I was enforced to correct you but each stripe which yee receaved did cut mee into the heart In many things yee failed because yee were young and in many things I failed too because I am a weake and a sinfull woman If at any time yee thought that I did not my duety take heede that hereafter yee remember it not to my dishonour Ponder in your
vers 8. The way of peace wee know not and there is noe judgment in our goeings wee have made us crooked paths whosoever goeth therein shall not know peace Therfore is judgment farre from us neither doth justice over-take us True it is wee have our frequent fastings and our dayes of humiliation but doe wee not fast for strife and debate vers 9. c 58.4 and to smite with the fist of wickednesse What doth the Lord require of us but to doe justly and love mercy and to walke humbly with our God But wee ah sinfull wee insteed of doeing justly doe many times labour by a new way to execute Iustice to kill it to destroy it with its owne sword noe merveile therfore that when judgment is looked for Mich. 6.8 behould oppression and when righteousnesse behold a cry The God of mercy requireth us to love mercy but wee on the contrarie are ready to lay hold on our bowes and speares Isa 5.7 wee are cruell and have noe mercy our voices roare like the sea and wee ride upon borses set in aray as men for warre and that against our owne acquaintance and neighbours and friends and allyes Ier. 6.23 Prov. 12.10 Ps 35 13. Is 58.5 yea and our very tender mercies are cruell Hee requireth us to walke humbly with him and wee pretend to put on sackcloth and to humble our soules with fasting but alasse is this such a fast as God hath chosen A day for a man to affâ—ict his soule Is it for a man to bow downe his head as a bull-rush and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him Will hee call this a fast vers 6. and an acceptable daâ— unto him Noe noe Is not this the fast that hee hath chosen To loose the bands of wickednesse to undoe the heavy burdens and to let the oppressed goe free and that wee breake every yoke vers 7. Is it not to deale our bread to the hungry and that wee bring the poore that is cast out to our houses When wee see the naked that wee cover him and that wee hide not our selves from our owne flesh But doe wee thus fast Doe wee thus humble our selves I feare wee doe not therfore for peace wee have greate bitternesse c 38.17 Lam. 3.15 Reu 8.10 wee are filled with bitternesse and are made drunken with wormewood The great starre which fell from heaven upon the third part of rivers and upon the fountaines of waters when the third Angel sounded is found among us vers 11 for our waters are become wormwood our teares are teares of bitternesse Prov 11.14 Solomon telleth mee that where noe counsell is the people fall but in the multitude of counsellers there is safety That multitude of counsellers wee have gave wise and honourable counsellers wee have and yet for all that mee think's wee doe not find that safety which Solomon speaketh of 2. Cor. 7.5 1. Chr. 26.14 Mar 15.43 for wee have noe rest but wee are troubled on every side without are fightings and within are feares Wee have Zechariahs wise counsellers wee have Iosephs honourable counsellers which allso waite for the Kingdome of God 1. Chr. 27.32 Prov 12.20 cap 15.22 and wee have Ionathans to be counsellers wise men and scribes and yet there is but litle joy to the counsellers of peace nor are purposes yet so established by this multitude of counsellers as hath beene long hoped they would have beene What is the cause What is the reason hereof Ah Lord God wee are ready to take counsell but not of thee Ier 30.1 Luc 7.30 Ps 107 11. Is 19.17 to reject thy counsell against our selves to contemne thy counsell and therfore wee are every one afraid in himselfe because of the counsell of thee the Lord of hosts which thou hast determined against us The noise of the drumms and the trumpets still sounds in our eares and noe Dove comes yet with the olive branch of peace into our poore distressed land O my God my God how is thy sword filled with blood c 34.6 and made fat with fatnesse and with the bloud of the lamb's goates with the fat of the kidnyes of ramms because thou hast a sacrifice in Borrah and a great slaughter in Idumea vers 7. Our land is soaked with blood and our dust is made fat with fatnesse Our dust is turned into brimstone vers 9. Deut 28.24 the raine of our land is made pounder dust yea and our very water is turned into fire The water that is drained through the earth of our Cellars and vaults is turned into salt-peter and that and the coales and the brimstone kindle their furie together in chambers of iron and in brasse and then belch oâ— fire and destruction From hence come thoâ—… dreadfull wonders which wee see in the heavenâ— and in the earth Ioel. 2.30 blood and fire and pillars of smoke The black-mouth'd Canons spitt the fire of wrath at us and the tokens of their mallice which they send unto us are balls of iron fitted for our confusion Yea and the more to terrifie us they roare and thundeâ— out their defiances even to the astonishment of all that heare them Wee feede them with powder and they thank us in thunder and lightning wee crambe them with iron and they discharge themselves of it to the slaying of Christians Yet mee thinks even these engins of iron in dumb lectures doe seeme to teach us relenting by their owne examples by their shaking their reversing their ruaning when they are discharged as if they trembled and were afraid themselves of the mischiefe they doe and were glad when they had libertie to take their ease upon their beds Is 66.15 Thus the Lord cometh with fire among us and with his charets like a whirle-wind to render his anger with fury and his rebukes with flames of fire vers 16 for by fire and by sword the Lord pleadeth with us and the slaine of the Land are many Lam 1.20 Behold ô Lord for by reason hereof I am in distresse my bowells are troubled and mine heart is turned within mee for wee have grievously rebelled Abroad the sword bereaveth and at home there is as death The Lord is against us Eze 21 3. and hath drawne forth his sword out of his sheath and doth cut off from us the rightious and the wicked Therfore it is vers 6. that now I sigh with the breaking of my loines and with bitternesse doe I sigh vers 7. even for the sad tidings which I dayly heare because the sword cometh every heart melteth and all hands are feeble and every spirit doth faint and all knees are weake â—s water A sword oh A sword is sharpned vers 9. allso fourbished it is sharpned to make a sore slaughter it is fourbished that it may glitter vers 10 cap 38.21 The allmighty hath called for a sword against us thorow
fierce wrath and repent of this evill against thy people Is 1.26 Turne thine hand upon us and purely purge a way our drosse and take away all our tinne vers 26 Restore our Iudges as at the first and our counsellers as at the beginning and call our land the land of righteousnesse vers 27 the faithfull land Let our Zion be redeemed with judgment and our converts with righteousnesse Ps 86.17 Shew some good token upon us for good that they which hate us may see it be ashamed because thou Lord helpest and comfortest us Heare ô my God in the bowells of thy compassions close and bind up our wounds for his sake who was wounded for our transgressions pardon us for his sake who is our onely reconciliation and let the cryes which our finns have sent up to heaven for vengeance be ceased and quieted by the blessed pleading of our onely Mediatour betweene thee and us even the beloved Sonne of thy bosome Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen The Second Prayer consisting of 1 A dolefull complaint of our grievous calamities 2 An humble desire of the remission of our sinns 3 A fervent supplication for righteousnesse and peace GReate and glorious Lord God who art the Lord of hosts 1. Sam. 17.45 Exod 15.3 and God of the armies of Israel ô thou who hast styled thy selfe a man of warre whose name is the Lord Looke downe I beseech thee upon the distressed anguish consuming sorrowes of this thy people in our land of blood Thou seest Lord thou seest the afflictions of Ioseph the calamities of thy people how our blood is shed like water on every side of our Kingdome how our bones lye scattered before the pit like as when one breaketh and heweth wood upon the earth How long Lord how long just and holy shall the prayers and the teares and the cries and the supplications of thy saints and servants ascend up unto heaven and yet thou seeme unto us as a deafe man which heareth not and as a man which is dumb Ps 38.13 that openeth not his mouth Is there noe balme in Gilead Is there noe physitian there Why then is nâ—… the health of the daughter of thy people recovered Ier O the hope of Israel the saviour thereof in the time of trouble why should thou be as a stranger in our land and as way-faring man that turneth a side to tarrâ— but a night Psal Thou hast moved our land and divided it ô heale the sores thereof for it shaketh O let the sorrowfull sighing of the prisoners come before thee according to the multitude of thy mercies preserve thou those that are appointed to death Arise ô Lord from thy resting place thou and the arke of thy strength Arise and have mercy upon our Sion for it is time that thou have mercy upon her yea the time is come for why Thâ— servants thinke upon her stones and it greiveth us to see how shee lyeth downe in the dust O now at last be thou favourable and gracious to our Sion and build thou the walls of our Ierusalem Send peace within our walls and plenteousnesse within our pallaces For our brethrens and companions sake I wish this prosperitie yea because of the many houses of the faithfull who put their trust in thee our Lord our God I pray for this good Exod. 3 7. Thou o Lord hast surely seene the afflictions of this thy people and hast heard our cries by reason of the sword for thou knowest our sorrowes vers 8. O come thou downe to deliver us as once thou didst thy people of Israel from the hand of the Egyptians Thou seest how the sword is drawne in an unnatuâ—…ll manner brother against brother neighâ—our against neighbour house against house â—ather against Sonne and Sonne against Father all having weapons of warre which â—re like to destroy the nation all clothing â—hemselves in garments rolled in blood Isa 9.5 Thou seest how many amongst us thirst for blood how whole rivers thereof runne in our fields and in our streetes yet it is not in the power or pollicie of man to stoppe the current It is now o Lord with us as it was once with idolatrous Israel when Moses commanded them saying Exod. 32.27 Put every man his sword by his side and goe in and out and slay every man his brother and every man his companion and every man his neighbour Psal Thy holy temples are defiled and without thy preventing mercy our Ierusalem may be made an heape of stones Heresie and Schisme oppose the cleere light of thy glorious gospel Ps 137.7 and like the children of Edom in the day of Ierusalem they say even of truth it selfe downe with it downe with it even to the ground Many of our citties and townes doe now sitt solitarie Lam. 1 1. c 2.11 that were full of people and are become as widdowes The children and sucklings swoone in our streetes the widows make their lamentations over the gasping bodies of their wounded husbands the young ones cry for bread but some of them find neither fathers to give it theÌ„ nor mothers to compassionate them Is 33.8 The high wayes lye wast 〈◊〉 way-faring man ceaseth the line of confusâ—… is stretched out upon the land c. 34.11 the stones of eâ—…ptinesse vers 13 Thornes come up in our pallaces netâ— and brambles in our streetes and houses aâ— become habitations of dragons c. 8.21 and courts fâ— owles Some wicked ones among us that aâ— hungry Lam. 2.9 fret themselves and curse our Kinâ— and our god and looke upward The law iâ— noe more vers 10 the Prophets allso find noe visâ—… from thee the Lord. The elders sit upon the ground and keepe silence they have cast up dâ—…t upon their heads they have girded themselves with sack-cloth the virgins hâ—… downe their heads to the ground It is not noâ— as it was in the dayes of ould Luc. 7.25 when men clothâ— in soft raiment and they which were gorgeousâ— apparelled and lived delicately were in King courts Is 1.7 Our countrie is desolate our citties aâ— burnt with fire and our land is desolate as orâ— throwne by strangers Lam 5.1 Remember ô Lord who is come upon thy people consider and behold on reproach vers 2. Some of our inheritances are turned to strangers and our houses to aliants Many among us are orphans and fatherlesse vers 3. and many that were wives are become widowes Many doe get their bread with the perill of their lives vers 9. Ps 142.7 vers 6. Ps 94.19 because of the sword that maketh our land a wildernesse O Lord doe thou consider our complaint for wee are brought very low Thou ô Lord art our hope and our portion in the multitude of sorrowes which wee have in our â—…rts let thy comforts ô my God refresh our â—…les Heare ô Lord and
provoked him to wrath But what though in Eden hee was not heard but â—n the coole of the day Gen 18.1 I am sure that hee appeared to Abraham in the heate of the day aâ—â—hee sate in the tent doore in the plaines of Mamâ—re And so hee doeth to mee now too inwardly by his Spirit if I find his grace working in my soule a desire of his glorie I will therfore besiech him now while hee is with mee Ps 42.8 Ps 22.2 to command his loving kindnesse in this day time to visit mee that so I may not justly complaine with David O my God I cry in the day time and thou hearest not but rather that I may heare a Phinehas saying unto mee as once hee did to the children of Reuben Gad and Manasseh This day wee perceave Ios 22.31 that the Lord is among us Alasse poore Iacob how did hee endure the sweate and the burning of this time of the day Gen 31.40 In the day the drought consumed him and the frost in the night and his sleepe departed from him Assuredly in those fourteene yeeres which hee spent in the service of Laban for his two wives and in those sixe yeeres which hee served for the flocks and the cattell hee could not choose but loose a whole river of sweate that dropped from his face Lord how should every droppe of sweate that fall's from my browes put mee in mind of the fall of Adam which produced this punishment Gen 3.19 Yea how should my teares too out-vye my sweate when I consider the number of my fowle transgressions They oh they have so increased within mee that they enforce the sweate to fly to my face and in this heate of the day to tell mee of a punishment in the flames of the damned But there was once a day of deliverance of the Israelites from the Egyptian bondage Ex 13.3 and Moses commanded the people saying Remember this day And what day of my life hath not beene to mee a day of deliverance So many diseases and accidents assayle the body so many discontents the mind so many casualties and chances the estate yea and which is worst of all so many sinnes the soule that if I should attempt but once to number them I could not easily determine where to beginne Lord make mee this day remember thy deliverances in a gratefull manner and magnifie thee for thy mercies There will bee a day too a day of death but when it shall come God onely knoweth This for ought I know may prove the day Ould Ifaak tould his sonne Esau saying Gen 27.2 Behould now I am ould I know not the day of my death Neither indeede doe I know mine What know I to the contrarie but that anone at the table I may entertaine my death in a dish or a cup Lord make mee allways provided for thee and then at all times thou art well-come to mee But how shall I be sure to have my petition graunted and that God will afford mee such mercy as to save mee I reade of a day that was threatned to the Iewes even when the Chaldaeans should become their conquerours This the Lord fore-tould unto them when hee sayd Ioel 2.1 Blow yee the trumpet in Sion and sound an all-arme in my holy mountaine Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble for the day of the Lord cometh for it is nigh at hand A day of darknesse vers 2. and of gloominesse a day of clowdes and of thick darknesse as the morning spread upon the mountaines Their death was to approach by the sword of their enemies and their miseries to increase by the furie of their tormentours My death may be neerer hastening unto mee then was the destruction of the Iewes at the time of the prophesie and in what manner it shall come I cannot assure my selfe God is not confined to time or meanes otherwise then hee hath decreed himselfe This very day may happen to be mine and another day may be appointed for another Yea and my day too may prove a day of horrour for wicked I am and I reade what is spoken by the mouth of Iob Iob 21.30 The wicked is reserved to the day of destruction they shall be brought forth to the day of wrath I poore I am one of the wicked and have deserved the greatest severest judgments from the hand of the revenger O if this day should prove so terrible insteede of pampering my body with delightfull foode I might cry out with the Prophet Cursed be the day wherein I was borne Ior 20.14 let not the day wherein my mother bare mee be blessed But I have a better confidence in the mercies of my Redeemer Yet I cannot hope for mercy from him if I doe not expresse some mercy to my selfe The chiefest act of mercy to my selfe consisteth in a serious afflicting and tormenting of my selfe for my sinnes which would ruine mee With my teares I must therfore wash away my sinnes I must purge them with my teares I must cure the sinnes of mine eyes with the teares of mine eyes And yet since my teares are not free from pollution even those must be purified and made effectuall by the blood of the Lamb. The stomack is commonly prepared for meate by the blood of the grape Therfore before I will goe to my foode I will prepare my selfe with a glasse of wine but that wine shall be high and excellent it shall be the wine of Angells It shall have the savour of life in it it shall have the race of mercy in it the sweetenesse of reconciliation the heate of grace This wine shall be my teares a leane sower eager wine of it selfe but it shall be sugered by the hand of my Redeemer it shall be deepe drawne and well dashed with the blood of the innocent This is such as the Angells delight in This wine shall prove an excellent restorative it shall be even like blood yea it shall be blood it selfe even the blood of my drooping my wounded and my deiected soule This will exceede all the Frontiniak or the Greeke or the Palerma wines for the grapes thereof doe not grow upon the smooth and twisting branches of common vines but they grow like the rose upon a thornie bough and yeeld whole clusters of joy and content This wine hath such an in-bred vertue in it that it giveth courage to the drinker and that good effect I seriously hope it shall worke in mee For I must fight though I am but a woman I must fight and warre and combate with mine enemies with my corruptions Ios 10.13 I trust that hee who made the Sun stand still in the middest of heaven that it hasted not to goe downe about a whole day when the five Kings fought against Gibeon and all this onely at the prayer of Ioshua even hee will assist mee in this holy warre that I may destroy the Kings the greatest the