Selected quad for the lemma: death_n
Text snippets containing the quad
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A19199
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Complaynt of the soule
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1519
(1519)
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STC 5609; ESTC S109069
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18,338
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32
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as an vnkynde wretche I remembre not this I do not calle in welth to the but in grete sorowe fere whan than that I am lyke to falle ¶ A good lorde a more or a greter wretche is there none in this worlde than I am / and a moost vnkynde katyf / a wretche / a worme / a vessell full of vnclennesse and abhomynacyon not worthy for to be called a man or a reasonable creature For I abuse that reason / that memorye / and that fredome of wyll whiche thou haste gyuen vnto me with all the gyftes all the benefetes of nature and of fortune / and so I am wors than a beest the whiche hath not the helpes and haue no reason for to dyrecte theyr lyfe to the honoure and the worshyppe of god as I haue / they haue no fredome of wyll for to chose the good to leue the euyl as I haue My reason is gyuen to me for to knowe my lorde god / for to knowe how I sholde lyue to the pleasure of hym and to thynke vpon yâ— lyfe that is to come / holyly for to ordre mysefe therto / and for to auoyde the grete tourmentes and the endlesse trybulacyon the whiche after this lyfe is ordeyned for synne ¶ A god mercy what grete derkenesse am I in / and my soule is iÌ„ maner made blynde yâ— goostely syghte is gone I loke not vp to my lord god with the syght of my soule / but all my thought / all my memorye / all my loue / and all the grete pleasure in my soule is downe warde / all is to vanytees of this erthe I am erthly iÌ„ my prayers / in me studye / in my labours in my medytacyons / and in all my conuersacyoÌ„ I may well thynke that these wordes are verefyed of me The prophete Y saye sayth Erthe erthe erthe here yâ— worde of god / for I am made of erthe / and hastely I shall tourne to erthe / and al my conuersacyon is but erthe I am reputed good lorde in the syght of the after my loue / yf I loue erthe I am erthe / yf I loue erthly thynges I am erthly / yf I loue goostly thynges I am goostly / and yf I loue the good lorde whiche arte very god than I am godly ¶ A good lorde I fere than that I am iÌ„ thy reputacyon but as vyle erthe For in the erthe and in the erthly thynges is euer my mynde I kepe it not vpon the good lorde / ne vpon yâ— holy orderynge of my soule I haue suffred my selfe by wretched custome so longe and so contynually for to renne frome the and frome actuall thoughtes of my soule and thynges whiche are prouffytable for to promote my soule in vertue and in good werkes Than nowe I can not without grete payne and without grete laboure for to fyxe my mynde ony tyme or space vpon the or vpon the holy dyreccyon and orderynge of my soule / and I of a frowarde and of an obdurate wyll in wretchednes enforces not neyther care not myselfe for to take parte agaynst this myserable Inclynacyon of myselfe / and so it goeth al downewarde with me I come not vpwarde to the neyther I wyll not gretely applye myselfe for to come to the by actuall medytacyon and by parfyte loue of the. I slepe I dreme and yâ— I shall fynde whan the sharpe paynes of dethe shall come for to open the eye of my soule / for than I shall clerely se how vaynely and how synfully and how wretchedly and how vnhappy and how myserably and how vngracyously that I haue myspended the tyme of this lyfe / yâ— whiche tyme is gyuen vnto me onely bycause that I sholde spende it fruytfully in good and in vertuouse lyuâ—ge vnto the grete honour and to the grete worshyp of our sauyour Cryst Ihesu and vnto the promocyoÌ„ of my soule in the glorye of eternall lyfe and of the heuenly felycyte / and also for to auoyde eternall dampnacyon whiche is ordeyned by yâ— ryghtwysnesse of almyÈty god to the Inordynate lyuers of this lyfe / the whiche consume the goodes that they haue receyned of god to theyr eternall reproue / sorowe and / payne for to receyue of almyghty god fynally perpetuall dampnacyon VEdet animam meam vite mee ¶ I am wery of my lyfe It is so full of Ignoraunce and of neclygence / so ful of vnhappy desyres and of synful wordes so full of forgetfulnesse and so full of euyll thoughtes / so full of vnfruytful dydes and werkes and so full of vnprouffytable heuynesse / and so ful vnlawful saddenesse and so full of vayne Ioyes and synfull dylectacyons with foule wretched and myserable pleasures / also it is full of paynes with vnpacyence of proude desyres and with a ful couetous mynde / with al these myseryes I see how yâ— my self is but a course a rennynge to dethe / and now I am more nerer it than whan as I laste spake of it The deth cometh shortely / the lyfe gooth awaye full fastely and full swyftely / at yâ— houre of deth I am lyke to be called for to rendre accomptes of my lyfe / and I am vnprouyded and vnware for to coÌ„tente the Iuge of my lyfe / and than I shall be moost full of sorowe and payne lamente or complayne the tyme yâ— euer I came in to this lyfe / whiche so neclygeÌ„tly hath loste the profyte of this A good lorde I am ashamed abasshed of my lyfe in yâ— syghte of the good lorde whiche all thynge seth clerly / nothynge maye be hydde frome the. ¶ Sythen it is so that shame is feere of rebuke and reproue / and there is no rebuke whiche that I drede so moche as I do the rebuke of the good lorde / wherfore I am moost ashamed of my synful lyfe in the syghte of the / and thus I am ashamed to lyue / and yet I am aferde to dye For yf I may auoyde by the grete mercy of god the tormentes of eternall dampnacyon / yet I fere yâ— I shall bere with me in to purgatory the gylte of many synnes / I shall paye by grete payne / the duyte of many oblygacyons / grauÌ„t me good lorde perfyte fere of yâ— For whan I shall not fere by deth to come to the / for thy fere maketh soules to declyne and fâ—ee frome synne ¶ A good lorde yf I had thy fere perfytly I sholde be more a dredde ony thynge to thynke or to desyre synfully in the syght of the / than I am to do synne in the syght of man The synfull mocyons of my mynde are so abhomynable in the beholdynge of the as the dyde of shamefull synne in the syght of man than yf I fered yâ— I sholde be apunysshed and ashamed to thynke ony thynge dyspleasynge to yâ— I waute these fere of the / and why / for I haue not perfyte fayth of the. A than I am
derkenesse of my soule / my soule is made bynome Impotente to all perfyte dedes of vertue / not only it wanted wyll / but in maner it wanteth power to do well / what hath made me this feblenesse but only synne what hath made in me suche synne but only a croked and frowarde wyll A wretched dysposycyoÌ„ of my soule of the whiche I am cause myselfe / therfore myn Impotensy / Indisposycyon to holy perfyte lyuynge is none excuse to me / for this myselfe hath made me by longe custome in lyuyÌ„ge ¶ A good lorde an vnkynde soule am I to the. I can not dyssymyle to the / for no thynge I may withdrawe from the syght of the / of a chylde thou hast gyuen me power to lyue vertuously and to please the not for thyn auayle but for myn auayle for the endlesse promocyon Ioyefull reward to be receyued of the / thou haste called me / and yet thou contynuest it by good thoughtes / by good counseyle / by holy prechynges / by vertuous examples / by grete gyftes / callynge to me for to come to the. And I as a wretche repell the all the gyftes yâ— thou gyuest me I abuse to the dyspleasure of the and to the grete accusacyoÌ„ and without thy mercy to the grete dampnacyoÌ„ of me I desyre sodayne sorowes and paynes to come vpoÌ„ me there thou haste gyuen to me this respyte tyme of grete delyberacyon to auoyde the paynful doungen of helle and to come to the Ioyfull Empyre of thy glorye there euerlastyngely for to dwell with the I attende it not wherfore I deserue hastely for to be caste downe by the paynfull blastes of the grete horryble tempestes of deth I knowe wel yâ— I may not here alwaye abyde / yet my mynde / and my loue is more here than there yâ— I muste alwaye abyde ¶ A merueylous god a grete blyndnesse is in me that I sholde desyre for to abyde in yâ— same place of myserye there as I wel knowe yâ— I may not abyde than for to be in the place of blysse and of myrth and grete felycyte there as I may come yf I wyll and for euer abyde / god hathe made me a reasonable creature for to chose yâ— beste lyfe / and I make myselfe an vnreasonable creature for to chose the worste lyfe / I loue yâ— I sholde not loue / and I hate that I sholde loue / and thus both my mynde my wyl I abuse vnto my grete hurte whiche thou haste gyuen me to myn helpe / yf I shold complayne vpon myselfe all that I can reduce to my mynde of myne owne wretchednesse vnkyndnesse to god / remembryÌ„ge the grete benefeytes gyftes yâ— I haue receyued of hym / and how gentyll a lorde he hath ben to me without my deseruynge certaynly all the wretchednesse dyscoÌ„mendacyon that I can saye of myselfe is to lytell in regarde of yâ— grete dyscoÌ„mendacyon and blame whiche I haue deserued / my wretched dysposycyoÌ„ is more redy to do euyll than my memorye many moo yf they were knytte togyder with me are able to receyue I fele myselfe full of wretchednesse I am prone and all redy to all euyll / elles dulle slowe to all goodnesse A sythen I myght here or see my defautes shewed afore me lyke as thy be I shold abhorte with myselfe lyke as with a toode or a serpent A what drede sholde my herte vnbrace of that terryble Iugement whiche must be gyuen of myselfe at the houre of deth where yâ— moost ryght wyse Iuge hymselfe shall accuse me / myn owne conscyence shal wytnesse agaynst me how I haue mysused my soule and lytel heded the valoure therof whiche was bought with the precyouse blood of cryste very god and man creatour and maker of the vnyuersal worlde lorde of heuen and erthe to whose name all creatures shal do obedyence I shal gyue accomptes how I haue abused my mynde my wyll my body all my fyue wyttes my tonge my beaute my helth my strength connynge vertue / how I haue mysordred myselfe my soule and body the euyll mocyoâ—s both of soule and body how I haue not done yâ— was in me to represse them but rather to kepe / them to werke them All these good lorde I forgete of all these I shall gyue a strayte accomptes Also of mete drynke / golde syluer clothes / of all these whiche had ben vnder my tuycion / as chyldren seruauntes / of the euyll dedes that I haue done / and of all the good dedes whiche I myght haue done / for slouth sloggysshenes of myselfe I haue lefte them vndone of al the tyme yâ— I haue receyued sytheÌ„ I had vse of reasoÌ„ ¶ A dere lord what shal I do at yâ— dredful houre of rekenynge where as shall be shewed ryghtwysnesse wtout grace yf I now laboure not for grace ¶ O what shall I do drye tree that I am and brynge forth no good fruyte in yâ— chirche of god / but rather sewed fruyte by many euyll wordes euyll werkes and euyll examples I am an vnproufytable tree apte worthy to be caste in to endelesse fyre ¶ A what shall I do that daye whan I shall gyue acompte of all yâ— tyme gyuen to me of our lorde how I haue spende it to yâ— honoure of hym I may saye nothyÌ„ge is myn owne for I must gyue a strayte rekenynge of all that I haue I am but as a bayly a mynystre vnder god and taken charge well to spende his goodes dere lorde gyue me grace amoÌ„ge al temporal myrth ofte to remembre the bytternesse of the dredeful accompte that I may that day receyue yâ— kyngedome of endelesse Ioye and mercy â—Edet animam meam vite mee ¶ A dere lorde seynge the myspendynge of my lyfe I am wery of my lyfe I myselfe am greuous to myselfe my burthen is grete is lyght to my body / but it is heuy to my soule / it is so grete yâ— it is lyke to presse me downe from heuen vnto the pytte of hell excepte specyall grace and helpe of my sauyoure ¶ O my mercyfull lorde sende me teeres yâ— may lament daye nyght my myserable lyfe wasshe awaye the fylth of so longe gaderynge of my soule I am woo whan I remembre so longe as I haue ben in this lyfe so wretched / and my wretchednes dayly greueth me / my mynde is all occupyed iÌ„ vanytees and my wyll in frowardnesse / my mouth in shrewednes my body in ydelnesse / my werkes in wretchednes A who shal gyue to myn eyen a welle of teeres yâ— I may coÌ„tynually wepe wayle my woful lyfe my neclygent lyfe / my vnwyse folysshe lyfe I lyue not as a reasonable creature oughte to lyue reformyÌ„ge my soule body and my werkes to my lorde whiche hath ordeyned me in this lyfe yâ— by my werkes well ordered to