Christ at his death gave it such a Wound that will never be cured till it has by the Faith and Prayer of every Believer bled it self to death When Guilt seems to live most and so sends a Believer afresh to Christ then does Guilt die apace and remains only to keep a Believer's faith in continual exercise and render Christ precious to the Soul as cold Weather makes a Fire the more comfortable and pleasant so that while my Soul holds close to this that Christ is upon his own terms Righteousness Pardon and Life to me by making me his and he being mine my own guilt becomes no longer my own because I am no longer my own but his who bought me with his blood and as guilt is removed so the fear of falling away is removed and relief against daily infirmities provided for If being an Enemy I was reconciled by his Death much more being reconciled shall I be daily saved by his Life Rom. 5. 10. But whence ariseth this that I Faith only a relief against daily infirmity find it harder to relie on him for power against daily infirmities than against the power of condemning Guilt Daily Infirmities are the lesser Enemies but yet they are present Enemies and seeming smaller in stature than the great bulk of universal Humane Guilt the Soul of a Christian is apt to step forth against them in his own strength and resolution and so returns many times with shame whereas the same Covenant which takes away the stony heart and state of Guilt is that only which gives a heart of flesh and cleanseth the Soul from all unrighteousness I cannot therefore mortifie one foolish filthy or distracted thought without the application of the whole power of the same Christ who has removed my great and condemning guilt and cast it into the Sea I am apt foolishly to think that my great guilt being removed I may in some sort take my ease which degenerates more and more into spiritual sloth and unthankfulness but my daily infirmities are like a pricking Bryar which continually afflicts me and lets me know that this is not my Rest neither will my own hands put away these Bryars but only the consuming fire of Christ's Spirit setting his Death and Resurrection in Battel Array against them So that I see if ever I expect a good hour in this World or to all Eternity it must be only and all over in Jesus Christ O cursed Nature O cursed Sloth that is ever dividing that which a blessed Covenant of Grace has joyned together Jesus Christ and my Soul All his drift towards me is that he might be all in all to me Oh that he would vent himself and spare not he that bids me fear not only believe is only able to make me believe I often draw near methinks to some Resignation to him with some universal scope but am quickly gravelled again yet so much delight remains in the very hope of my Soul towards him that makes me chuse rather to have my eyes towards him though with a long look than to say within my heart My Beloved will never come surely he will yet come and his Reward is with him This Resignation to God is so glorious in the Nature Ground Properties Resignation and encouraging Privileges of it that the very glimpse thereof makes my heart light and even faint for desire to be wholly swallowed up and translated in Spirit Soul and Body into the pure Rest and Crystal Life of God but the nature of it I can no more express than a Man's Pensil can draw the Portraicture of a Man's Life or represent the nature of a Taste albeit it may draw the Figure of a Humane Body or represent the visible Food in which lies that hidden quality of Life and Taste But if words may be used about it I would thus express it 'T is an allaying delightful willing The nature of Resignation open-hearted dissolving of all my desires cares and enjoyments of things present and to come relating to Soul and Body into the heart and unlimited disposure of God in Jesus Christ my Lord with an endless victorious Security of Confidence Consolation and Peace of heart and Conscience The ground of which glorious active and Soul-quickning Rest is The Ground of it Jesus Christ the Mediator who has received his Redeemed to the Glory of God Rom. 15. 7. He is called their Peace Mich. 5. 5. their Rest Isa 28. 12. their Sufficiency 2 Cor. 3. 5. Comfort 2 Cor. 1. 3. Joy Psal 43. 4. and All in all Col. 3. 11. In all these respects Jesus Christ becomes the ground and attractive cause of Resignation as he is God and Man bringing the Soul through Union with his Humanity to God with whom he is personally united 1 Pet. 3. 18. into which Union every Believer is received through the Mystery of his free Grace Joh. 17. 21. and the Application of this Union to the Soul by Faith breeds this blessed Resignation for Christ being thus qualified in his own Person and thus uniting the Soul to himself by his Spirit begets in the heart through believing an answerable Counterpane of Conformity and Quiet in the Inward Man which cannot be capable of loss because the unchangeable God is the Author and unalterable Cause thereof nor be obstructed while Faith holds up its exercise therein but runs out into an infiniteness of Satisfaction in all cases because it is got with the help and expiating boundless Interest of him who is infinite It enters in by the Door of his Manhood to the partaking of whatever he is Heir to and is made Heir with him of his Conquest Fulness Security Peace and Joy so that albeit the Flesh may fail God being the portion of a Believer faileth not but always unchangeably continueth in the Mystery of this Union to be the Foundation and effecting Cause of a Believer's Resignation to him as into the hands of a faithful Creator 1 Pet. 4. 19. Jesus Christ himself is the glorious Model of Resignation for God in Christ resigned up himself to the Nature of Man Heb. 2. 14. and being the Eternal Son resigned up himself to the Will of his Father to be made a Servant and he who is the Law-giver resigns himself subject to the Law God over all blessed for ever resigns himself to the Curse of the Law he resigns up the freedom of his own Will to a voluntary Covenant he undertakes as it were the encumbrance of a Family and accounts the cries of many Infants about him no disturbance but a delight he resigned up his Body to death and became of no Reputation that out of his Dust he might bring many Sons to Glory he resigned up his heart to bear their sins and sorrows he hath resigned up whatever he is to be theirs that they might be his and be saved both living and dying from all wants and fears through his Resignation of himself to stand or fall with
married Estate and therein to favour me with the Society of one whom I account and believe to be precious in his sight and thereby called me to some further Exercise of Faith and a nearer Approach to himself for all Supply and Succour under the Wing of his Counsel Goodness Care and Faithfulness for Soul and Body and for his blessed Presence Good Will and Favour to my self and mine And withal in regard a very dark Cloud appears hovering over the Church of Christ I thought it my duty to betake my self to the surest Hold and to retire afresh into the Arms of God himself And therefore being under much sence of the loose earthly frame of my own heart I resolved to renew upon my Soul the Obligations of the fore-mentioned Covenant which through the favour of God I have this day done lying down at the Feet of a Gracious God I have again though with feeble hands been taking hold of Jehovah ' s Covenant humbly taking him to be my God and giving my self and mine to him I do I say with much struggling yet with some sincerity in my desire take God to be my Portion and exceeding great Reward and do render my self and all that concerns me to him and to his Will this present 23d of May 1666. and for ever And do subscribe the same with my own Hand Henry Dorney Moreover in a former Sickness and under Bodily Ailments being asked whether there were any thing burthensome upon his Spirit he replied I have no distrust in him whom I have believed I feel no sting at all There is no oppressing thing upon me no quelling thing in my Spirit Nothing troubles me from within nor without His Desires after Glory were His Desires after Glory in a peculiar manner exerted in his last and Dying Speeches and Prayers and at other times before in many and various Instances and chiefly upon this Ground that he should then be perfectly freed from Sin and serve God without distraction And it may be useful here to mention this following Passage that a dear Friend once making his moan to him about vain impertinent Thoughts wherewith he was greatly haunted and troubled in Attendance on God in Duty He said to him no more than this That that very thing should make us willing to be gone hence to be with Christ He had an entire Respect to His universal Obedience all God's Commands avoiding all Appearance of Evil and laying hold of all Opportunities for receiving and doing good and his very Soul was in it and it seemed as natural to him as for a person to eat when he is hungry Yea he was as a Creature out of his Element most uneasie and restless whilst he was not actually so exercised And his Submission to the Will of God's Providence as always so it was remarkably instanced in his last Sickness and also in a former Sickness when he was heard to say Lord if it may please thee make my Passage easie If thou wilt have me go meaning his departure by Death I am willing If thou wilt have me to stay a little longer I am willing but Oh! for Sufficiency of Divine Aid Likewise it was observed in these Petitions he offered up to God in Prayer That the Lord would manage every one of our Thoughts and spiritualize them for his whole Will and that his Spirit may have the Sovereignty in our hearts And seeing it is the property of his People so far as they are spiritualized to love and delight in all his Statutes and to love his commanding Will and Word as well as his promising Word That he would lead us into the Light and Life of Jesus Christ and cause us to yield up our selves universally to his Rule and Government and greedily take in all that Grace and Kindness he hath offered to us and get up into the Region of Christ's Teaching and Leading That we might be formed to his liking and as a People whom he delighteth to own and love and be fitted for the whole Will of God that he would have us to submit unto His Mortification was clearly His Mortification evinced by his Behaviour towards that which should be always the Objective Matter for that Grace to be exercised upon and by these directions he proposed as Means and Persuasives to it That we should always seek an occasion against the Flesh as 't is said of the King of Syria He seeketh a Quarrel against me and when we cannot pray it down or meditate it down then apply our selves to good Company and holy Conference with others and be ever engaged one way or other with one Weapon or other against the Flesh as Sampson against the Philistines who sought an occasion against them And that the way to receive any Temporal Mercy is to be dead to it And that as they that will be rich fall into Temptation and a Snare the like it may be said of those that will not be poor And he further added that we must be mortified as well to Saints as Sinners if we will have true Peace And that if all things were in a right frame the Soul would be dead to all carnal and earthly things and be ever under full Sail for Heaven and how then would the Breath of Grace appear in all the Actions of our Lives And for the promoting of this necessary Work he was observed earnestly to pray That mortifying renewing Grace might always appear active in us and that there might be a secret delight in us to take Vengeance of all that carnal Frame and corrupt Inclination that is within us and an eager desire to have this Body of Death crucified and taken away That a Sentence of Death might pass upon this Body of Sin and Death in us which Christ died to remove That this Body of Death might be battered down and wasted day by day And that he would cause us always to have a War against the Law of Sin within us And that we might long to have it subdued and the Soveraignty of God's Grace advanced in our Souls And that our Affections and Desires might decay more and more towards all things that are of a fading perishing Nature And that he would crucifie and destroy in us all the Attempts of the Body of Sin wherewith we are continually haunted And that he would help us to quit our selves as those that are engaged to God and favoured by him and know what it is to have our Natures changed and the natural Enmity slain And that we might be transplanted into Jesus Christ and made one with him That the things above might be the great things in our eye and have more Room in our hearts and the things here below accounted little and be of low Esteem with us The constant seriousness of his His constant Seriousness Spirit was seen not only in his Carriage but in his Cautions to others about it saying that there are many thousand Professors
God as never to return to a Carnal Frame and Temper any more and yield our selves to be ordered by him as a Child that is ordered by its Nurse And that the want of a through Surrender of our selves to God makes one lame in all other Duties Therefore our Religion should not lie only in Notion but in a total Delivery over of our selves to God And until we come to that clear Resignation our Life will always be a burthen to us And this giving away of our selves to God should be with that perfect Surrender as not to grieve at the Cast Oh! said he could I embark my self in God being born up by the Wings of his Spirit and God guiding the Steerage with his own hand What need I then fear meeting with Storms Then no matter at all unto what Port soever I were carried Then every Cross every outward Affliction Trouble Danger Loss would be my Friend Did I make God my dwelling place all the World would be Privileges to me all things would be turned into Privileges and redound for my good Whence also he prayed That we might come to that clearness of Surrender unto God as to bear a stamp and likeness to the infinite kindness Christ manifested in giving himself for us and to us That as he did all things willingly to work out purchase and procure Salvation for us so we might accept of all the Gracious Offers of his Love and improve it accordingly That Renewing Work might be carried on daily And that we might lanch out of the Circuit of our own Wills into his Will in all things and be influenced by the Spirit of Christ to a Conformity to him and growing up in him as his living Members His Natural Courage was fully His Courage and Fortitude experienced by those that best knew him in his younger Years and so forward to have been without blemish or defect His Spiritual Courage and Fortitude was discerned throughout his Christian Walk and in these following Expressions In shaking Times get such a Courage as flows from Faith and not a meer Manly Prowess To be in a dead-hearted discouraged Frame under Crosses is bad and to be joccund out of a meer Manly Stoutness and so to bear up is sadder but a humble submissive Carriage and a Liveliness nourished by Believing in going out of our selves and casting all our Care upon God who careth for us is an excellent Frame And speaking to some who were even ruined by outward Losses he said We should have been dead to our Estates when we had them Let us therefore now be dead to our Discouragements in the want of them And if we would not be Cowed at every Cross let us be sure to make Death familiar and be in a posture to die every hour And that will fill the Soul with undaunted Valour and Courage that nothing shall move it for it is sence of Guilt that plucks down the heart and nothing else And if the Sting of Death which is Sin be removed how bold will the Soul be And that holy Valour rises as Difficulties and Dangers rise as the Ship upon the top of the Waves riseth with the Waves That 't is no natural Valour will hold out in a day of Sufferings but a mortified Frame of Spirit will then abide the Shock And 't is the Glory of a Christian not to be faint-hearted under Trials The excellent Moderation and Temperance of his Spirit was exerted His Moderation and Temperance in his own Conduct and Behaviour His Moderation was known unto all Men His Temperance also was interwoven in the Contexture of his whole Walk and Converse who being Master of his own Passions and Affections was temperate in all things So that his heart was neither over-charged with the Cares and Incumbrances of this present Life nor ensnared by its Blandishments Sensitive Delights and Pleasures or in any thing that might run into excess And with a sedate serene Mind he improved all Providential Occurrences to ripen his Grace and Experience so as to render him useful in his Station for the Good of others the Glory of God and his own Profit and Comfort He was a great Redeemer of His Redemption of Time Time That where-ever he came he endeavoured as Opportunity offered to be improving it on the best Account either in holy Conference or by Counsel and Advice or in Prayer c. especially where he knew he might be free And upon that account by way of Complaint he once said How useless and helpless are we one unto another in the matters of our Souls but in other Affairs there our hearts can easily mix and run one into another And his Carriage and Behaviour was with such a Graceful Authority tempered with Meekness and Humility and Respect to all according to their Rank and Degree that even in his Minority he was both loved and admired for his extraordinary Activity in all Religious Concerns And he won exceedingly upon the hearts of most that conversed with him in and about spiritual things leaving a sweet savour behind him where-ever he came And this was never perceived to abate or decay but continued in its Vigour and Fervour even to Old Age. In his Childhood and so forwards he was an Enemy to all vain and idle Pass-time but still striving to be receiving or doing good to his Power And until he was hindred and prevented by bodily Distempers and Infirmities of Old Age he would be both early and late industriously painful and unwearied in the Concerns of his own Soul allowing no more time for Sleep Food or any other necessary Refreshments than was absolutely needful That when all the Family besides were in Bed and fast asleep he made choice of that time as a sweet Repast to him for Reading Meditation and secret Prayer And it was his usual Custom which very rarely was omitted when he went to take his Rest to have a Light standing by his Bed-side and his Bible before him and as he lay in Bed to be looking into it musing on some Scripture or other for a considerable time ere he would compose himself to Rest Which occasionally a Friend in the same Room once observing asked him how he could possibly refrain all that time from Sleep Unto which he replied to this effect That the things he read and considered of were so serious that they would not suffer him to sleep whilst his Thoughts were therein exercised And he had such a Command of the Temper of his Mind and Body that there was not seen in him any Oppression of Drowsiness whenever he was actually concerned in the performance of any solemn spiritual Duty And to obviate and prevent such Indisposure his Care was to set apart the fittest Season for Religious Services That instead of the torn lame and corrupt thing spoken of in Mal. 1. 13 14. the best part of his Time and Strength was devoted and offered up to the Lord in Sacrifice His
after God under all the Changes and Trials that do accompany an earthly Life and we have this Encouragement I will never leave you nor forsake you Grace and the Exercise of it also comes from God None can cleanse a foul heart nor quicken a dead one but he who raised your and my Redeemer from the dead And therefore if my heart be as hard as a Stone as foul as a Dung-hill as weak as Water and as deceitful treacherous and vile as may be I have no Refuge but to fly to my most pure holy Redeemer to my unchangeable God in Jesus Christ who is both my Judge and Saviour He hears the inward panting of his own Spirit when we can scarce hear the voice of our own Prayers or scarce know what to make of them He who creates Light out of Darkness knows how to work up an Acceptation of us to himself in Christ when our Persons and Services as they come from us are as filthy Rags in our own eyes We never go down the Wind till we say in our hearts by Unbelief The Covenant cannot stand in Heaven because I have sinned against it on Earth I am God I change not therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed Truly Sister I find very often I have as much need of pardoning Grace as ever I needed at first Conversion And I scarce know any thing that states the difference betwixt me and the vilest of Hypocrites but only this That God makes my Distempers my Burthen and in the Riches of his Love inclines my heart to hanker towards him for help And for ever blessed be his Name that doth not suffer us to die away utterly from his Relief How great is his Goodness How wealthy and endless is that Store-house of Perfection that is laid up in Christ for his ransomed and new-born Seed Get Christ in your eye and that will affect your heart c. 1661. To D. H. N o 55. TOuching what you write that you have an Interest in the Mercies I receive it accords well with that word 1 Cor. 12. 27. Ye are the body of Christ and members in particular thereof And what a mutual Interest is that First Christ's and then one anothers in him Something of this Affinity appears in the Contentment of that mutual Society of Christians but more in the mutual Faith in which they communicate with one another Rom. 1. 12. The Streams are obvious to our sence but the Streams would dry up if the Fountain did not feed them The more we put on Jesus Christ the more doth the Morning-Star of Perfection in that and all other Contentment twinkle upon us Still honor God so as to lean upon him and love him and all the method he takes Nothing doth so much bring disquiet as disappointment and nothing doth so much bring disappointment as the fixing ones expectation upon Uncertainties Be ever therefore trimming up your Expectations on things above where Christ is and abides for ever Dissolve into his good Will and he will never disappoint your Hope nor suffer you to be at an utter loss What think you is the very meaning of that place Hab. 3. 17 18. Although the Fig-tree shall not blessom c. Yet will I rejoyce in the Lord c. Doth it not speak out this viz. That God is the same his Word the same when all things fail besides If I have disquiet or fears let me enquire what it is that I fear and on what Ground whether about my present or future State of Body or Soul And let me not make Questions nor Answers but what Scripture doth countenance I may make use of former Experiences of my own or others as they bear witness to Divine Writ in the Scriptures and so be thankful but I may not make the Experiences of any sort my Rule nor Guide of my Faith My meaning is We are apt to oppose something or other that we find by Observation or Experience against the Word of the living God or expound the great and faithful Promises by those Experiences or Observations As where it is said Sin shall not have Dominion over you I will send you the Comforter and he shall teach you all things I will satisfie the longing Soul I will give a new heart I will circumcise your hearts to love me The Righteous shall not want any good thing Their Soul shall not be desolate No Evil shall come near them Your Sins and your Iniquities I will remember no more and such like which abounds throughout the Scriptures We are apt to cast cold Water out of our Experiences and Observations upon those Promises rather than kindle our Faith at them and so live by Faith on them We are apt to say yea but I do not find it so I find Sin prevails against me my Graces wither my Conscience clamours my heart is hard I pray and have no Answer my Condition is distressed and I fear it will be worse He that said No Evil shall come near doth yet suffer his people to be greatly distressed even so far sometimes as to die under it and therefore it is not directed to me or there is not that soveraign Good in it as the Gospel seems to proclaim But I would say as Solomon did Eccles 7. 10. Consider wisely concerning this 'T is impossible the Oath and Promise of God should fail the mistake is on our part considering not the Work of the Lord and the Operation of his hands He trieth rooteth and teacheth Faith by ways of Opposition for Christ is always labouring in this Vineyard The Father worketh hitherto and I work saith he His great design is to reveal himself and baptize his People into the Spirit of his Death and Resurrection He slays Sin by suffering his People sometimes to be in a sence slain by it that they more fully die from their own Power into his Life Gal. 2. 19. He brings the Soul to an utter stress to make it look out and venture upon him as the three Leppers who to flee from Famine ventured to flee to an Enemies Army When he would bring his People from sensible Refuges and from a Man's personal Worth and inherent Strength which usually gets in like Rust upon the Soul he dasheth all that to teach us that our Life and every Act of it is the meer Operation of his Grace who lives moves and breaths in his People How is it possible we should know Patience but by Sufferings and the infinite Power and Truth of God in great Deliverances if the Sun did always shine upon us This made David say In very faithfulness thou hast afflicted me and Paul I will rejoyce in mine infirmities or weaknesses that the power of Christ may rest upon me Growth of Grace lies chiefly in more and more expertness in owning of and living nakedly on the Good that is in Christ as being really mine own and deriving Good from him by perpetual Motion Man's Life lies not so much
let them be glorious in this World in Holiness and be bound up with thee for ever in the Covenant of Grace into which thou hast called them Let my poor Friends that have loved me and have seen but little Grace something it may be they have seen through thy Goodness Oh be with them and make them grow abundantly Let thy Glory arise hasten it let the Kingdom of Christ be exalted Oh that the days of this Darkness may be blown away and let there be a mighty coming in of Truth Holiness Sincerity and spiritual Light and Manifestation that there may be a mighty Child-like Spirit in all thy Children I desire all these Petitions in truth Let thy People be the Wisdom the Truth the Joy of the Earth Be with me and be with all thine and this I beg in the Lord Jesus Let thy good Spirit come upon all thine Oh glorifie thy self now and ever Oh let thy good Will be done Oh let thy own Will be done Let my Will follow thy Will as the Thread follows the Needle and let it be so eternally Let my Soul believe every word that thou hast spoken shall be accomplished Thou wilt never leave till thou hast made thy Name conspicuous and all thy People rejoyce Oh why why why may not the slow coming on now make haste Oh why may not the Growth of spiritual Wisdom be sprouting forth with great Improvement as being the very Operation of the Spirit Why may not Love to thee come and damp all other Loves Why may not the Observation of thy Love thou shewest me be powerful and transforming of my Soul Why should I lie back Lord I am not sanctified at the rate thou usest means for the same Oh that I might have more of the Spirit much much more and may see the Power of God from Heaven mightily changing me Oh let not thy Spirit be wanting Oh let Truth and Power be given in O God fill the World with thy Spirit that thy work may be done tidily tidily Oh let there be a nearness between thee and the Souls of thy People Oh that never that dull Spirit in Religion may come into the World again a God-provoking Temper of Soul Oh that thy People may judge of their love to thee by the very Out-goings of their Souls to thee and account nothing a Token of Love to thee unless the Soul be as it were in some Surprizes of being thine joyned to thee perfectly as if it were about to be carried out of the World I have been a withered dry Branch Oh hasten a Spring-time in one World or another Thou hast given me Truth in the inward parts I bless thee but there is no Answer answerably I wait now I wait every day and every night a poor Waiter I am O Lord be found Oh let God be glorified Oh that I might see Religion to be something I have professed Religion scores of Years one after another and yet to have got no more of the Glory of the Grace of that Religion methinks doth import that the Devil hath a strange debilitating power but God is pleased to leave him to put a slur upon the Glory of Christ's Church in the Life of Grace and to make the ways of God seem not so exceeding different from the way of Flesh as it is and all this for Trial and all this for Shame when the eyes of the spiritual Mind be a little opened Oh when a little satisfaction is got that there is truth of Grace how doth a seduced Soul nuzzle it self in that that it is safe and doth not make out for a great Progress in Grace and Holiness And if God should leave that Soul at last under those terrible Trials that may arise from thence it may shake and put it into a terrible Consternation Alas never can I fly too far from that devouring Lion never can I fly too soon April 16. Ah sweet Grave where I shall not need any cooling Drink Being spoken to from a near Friend viz. I hope the Lord will give you in of himself some such Prospect as he did to Stephen when he was leaving the World He replied I have a little sight of him and I find no dark passage to the enjoyment of him To another Friend he said He that hath you by the hand will never leave you To a near Relation he spake thus Say to your Soul I have a Fountain that will never dry up My Lines are fallen to me in a pleasant place yea I have a goodly Heritage There should be frequent fondnesses between God and us as Children towards their Parents He farther declared that though he had an earnest desire to be gone hence yet if the Lord pleased he could be content and willing to be the last Man in the Brunt of Suffering for his sake and Name in this World or words to that effect Again he spake saying O Lord come quickly come quickly answer me by thy self My wise God is still pleased to continue me though there are no signs of a Reserve for further Service to him in this World I bless the Lord for his Goodness towards me The Consolation of God is no small thing it is no small thing it is strong Consolation the Consolation of Christ is a great thing April 17. A Friend taking his leave of him saying that he was going to visit a Person of Honour he spake to this effect Pray remember me to my Lord and tell him that I am an Expectant hoping for a Meeting where we may dwell for ever April 18. In the Morning he spake saying O Lord how do I pass through nights and days O wise God and dost thou speaking to himself account him so Lord make me to account thee wise and good Lord pardon me and receive me O happy day that is coming O blessed day that is coming I pass through Death unto eternal Life After that he said The Captive shall return there will be no Captivity O sweet Redemption Much of our Heaven here lies but in a little talk about it and when we speak a word of it we have scarce a Thought suitable to the greatness of it Some space after he fetch'd a deep Groan and with his eyes lifted up and his Right hand stretched forth as if the pains of death were upon him he said Sharp and welcome Sharp and welcome And a while after he said praying Lord let me not die with any Guilt upon me but leave it all behind Oh let not any Sin remain in me unrepented of Let not any Concurrence with the least Guilt be in me Let there be upon my Will an edge of Hatred against every Sin Create it in me now Thou canst make me to delight in that that is contrary to my own Will Oh let thy Will be pleasing to me and let my Will be every way according to thy Will Let not the Agonies of Death be too terrible let not the Surge of it be too
terrible to me nor to any of the Race thou hast redeemed from Death Let the Agonies of Death be pleasing to me in Christ Oh the Dolour the unspeakable Anger of God we have not drank of it O the intollerable Wrath of God born by that Man meaning Jesus Christ O the woful Travel of Christ we have took up but a little of it and that hath made Repentance slight and holy Care trivial And now O Lord thou reckonest with me for undervaluing of that bloody Agony Lord forgive me my Guilt in this thing I have not been a Christian in earnest as I ought Oh he that made himself the bottom of all sorrow he suffered infinitely Oh such a Redeemer Oh such a Redeemer alas how unsuitable have I been to him Lord pardon my unsuitableness I have been as a Beast before thee I have not come up to answer the Call of that unutterable Grace And now O Lord I cannot stand in the Battel I cannot now the Arrows of Death stick in my Flesh and I cannot bear it without great Concussions of Soul within me But O! O! O thou who art the God of all Grace who art got upon the Kingdom of Grace and art the Head of that Kingdom wilt thou now shew thy Glory Make Death sweet make the Tendencies to Death sweet make every step to Deliverance a pleasing step O my God Save thy Worm save thy Worm O my God according to thy Promises made to Jacob I hearken what the Lord will say he will speak Peace in the Blood of Jesus Sustain me O Lord sustain me Thou art my Friend as thou spakest to Abraham thou art my Friend Dost thou love me Dost thou at this time love me with thy whole heart and with thy whole Soul Dost thou love me more than my nearest and dearest Friends Than those intimate Relations here that continue with me in my Tribulation With a more inward intense Love with an Infiniteness beyond all these Lord let me know that thou lovest me in very Deed let me know that thou knowest me by Name let me know that thou hast an eye upon me more than Doctors and Friends let me know that every Act of thine towards me is the effect of thy Love Love me Oh now with thy whole heart Oh make me to believe it Help me to apprehend that thou dost take notice of me and art with me every Moment with me as to my present Case and Concernment 'T is dead Friendship when Friends cannot hear nor see one another but sure there is another Friendship between thee and thine and thou standest in Relations to them Art not thou my Father Hath not the Church said so Lord thou art our Father Thou art my Husband my Brother my Friend and art not ashamed to be called my Brother Oh wonderful Thou begattest me I am born of thee Lord what shall I do with the great things of the Gospel if thou dost not give forth the Spirit of Faith O Lord wilt thou who art Truth who art Life who art certain wilt thou take the great work of my practical Religion upon thee Thou canst make it to be in Power and Truth unto me as may answer the very design thou aimest at I have been praying through the days of thy drawing me after thee O Lord I would come to that kind of praying while I am here in the World as might be a lovely Copy of that praying of that Converse that will be with thee in Heaven Will Prayer altogether cease in Heaven No surely Lord glorifie thy self glorifie thy self glorified be God Oh Oh that the very Life and Soul of that state then may now be begun Oh that I might hasten to that state Thou detainest me here in thy Wisdom I would go unto thee and into that Life which will most glorifie thee eternally I would go where Life is and no Death I would go where the fullest expressions of the power of Grace overcoming Sinners may be patent and manifest in me even in me who am a poor Mortal There be many things that I have found here that are Likenesses to pure Likeness to thee and here I have lost wofully my way Lord open it The heart is deceitful above all things and it will have its working one way or other but Lord I would go where there is Purity I would go where there is Purity without Impurity I would be with thee Lord for then I can speak to thee in thine own Language better At about Two of the Clock that day in the Afternoon he further extended his Speech as followeth The old World will be the old World still it will remain to Eternity it will be only translated from hence where it received its Curse to Hell to be in Chains of Darkness for ever but all the redeemed number shall be instated in their Palaces of Glory I am in the very Period of Wonders I am in the very Period of viewing Death and Life I am under some Sufferings and they shall be sweet And speaking to himself said Thou shalt lie down in thy Bed And then speaking to God Thou wilt not throw me into the Grave in Anger thou wilt put me into the Grave Thou wilt not say Sleep there in Death thou wilt say Sleep there a little till the Indignation be over-past till that is inflicted on thee for Sin which was pronounced and that that passed away from Christ shall pass from me Lord thou wilt not be unfaithful to thy Word God cannot lie God cannot forget to be gracious he cannot forget his own Work This is that God I desire to believe in and resolve eternally to cling upon with the Truth of my whole heart I have sinned and thou hast pardoned me and saved me with a high hand Help me in this hour take away my fears The last stroak that will be given will be by the Devil himself because it is his last Battel and thou wilt permit him but thou wilt bind him and when thou hast unclinch'd his hands he shall never clinch again He is that last Enemy from Conversion to Salvation Lord wilt thou who hast been destroying this Enmity all along now cause his Enmity to appear to be destroyed and turned into Powder and Rottenness O Have at it have at it I pray thee The strength the might the power of the Life of Sin and Darkness Lord thou didst promise to plague Antichrist for all the Plagues that he hath plagued thine O Lord do thou pour out thy Plagues upon him whilst thou dost sustain him to be fighting his last Battel Let him fight his Battel but let him O God drink of the Rivers of thy Wrath along with it Let the Weak overcome the Strong let thy People be Lyons but let the Devil be an enfeebled Enemy Serve thy self of all thy Instruments whatever they are Lord let them do thee the utmost Service of their Capacity Thy proper Instruments Oh make them glorious make them
depraved heart lies upon me as a lump of Lead I get nothing by talking with it as Solomon saith of the Fool Answer not a fool according to his folly lest thou be like him Prov. 26. 4. for this talking with Guilt and Weakness draweth my Soul which is made free indeed by the Son of God to the likeness of that Guilt and Weakness and my justified Conscience begins again to lick up the old Vomit of Fear and Bondage but my work is then to cast my self by naked Reliance on Jesus Christ who justifieth the Ungodly Rom. 4. 5. as being compassed about with the Guard of God's free everlasting Justification in the Person of Jesus Christ and having the shelter of this Guard then I may return and plead with Guilt and hear the complaints of my heart and the accusations of my Conscience and give them Answers from the fulness of Christ's Atonement and thus again the Fool if such a term may be used in this comparison is answered lest he should be wise in his own conceit Prov. 26. 5. I mean that the Spirit of Bondage which by the advantage of my own sin pleads rationally against my Peace till Faith comes with the Tongue of the Learned and pleads the Mystery of Free Grace against the Plea of Reason and the Righteousness of Christ and his Holiness against Sin and Guilt Nothing prevailed against Sampson till he betrayed the Vow of God that was upon him so nothing can prevail against the Peace of Justification till Guilt divide between the Soul and naked Reliance upon the personal Perfection of Christs Sacrifice and Mediatorship The Soul that lays his Foundation thus will not boast in himself Rom. 3. 27. nor wrong the Visits of God's favourable Countenance by Pride and Wantonness nor yet despair when Storms arise because his foundation is upon a Rock and his safety is not at all any of his own Handy-work As far as he beholds this All-sufficiency of Christ's Mediatorship the eye affects the heart to security and strength and crumbles all Self-sufficiency to powder and blows away the Egyptian Locusts of Guilt and Fears into the Red Sea and restores Pacification and Quiet to the Conscience and from this glorious Sanctuary the Soul comes forth to do the Actions of a new Life by the vertue of another Spirit the Spirit of Love and a sound Mind and worketh the Works of God in the World and takes pleasure in obeying the Truth and if it were possible it would actually keep the whole Law in as much as being now eternally knit to Christ's Person by Faith the Law by the Spirit of Christ is written in the heart This naked Reliance on Christ's Person was the great endeavour and left to us as the experience of the Apostles A Faith of which nature was exercised eminently by the holy Men of old Abraham Rom. 4. 20. David Psal 71. 16. Paul 1 Cor. 2. 2. and Phil. 3. 8 9. There were two foundational Reasons mentioned why the Soul is wholly to cast it self on the naked personal Merit of Jesus Christ viz. because he began our Righteousness and he only perfected the same for ever and those reasons well weighed have great strength and motive-vertue in them to beget Faith and besides 't is commanded as the absolute Condition of Salvation Act. 16. 31. Believe and thou shalt be saved in opposition to which Unbelief is made in the dispensation of the Gospel the reason of dying under the guilt of sin Joh. 8. 24. For the Gospel doth so perfectly hold out Jesus Christ to be the Propitiation for all the sins of the World through the value of his Death and open freeness of the Tender thereof that the very Hinge of Salvation and Damnation is turned upon the Faith of the heart therein or Unbelief thereof as being the most necessary and suitable Requisites for the stating of the Soul into an actual condition of Life or Death eternally Yea Christ pronounceth forgiveness of sins to the Palsie-man Luk. 5. 20. upon the meer Account of Believing And the Apostle Paul declares the Righteousness of God to be upon all that believe without making any difference upon any other respect Rom. 3. 22. This one thing saved the Thief upon the Cross when he had not opportunity to make Satisfaction for all the Wrongs and Robberies he had done This makes the Apostle Paul so laborious to preserve this Mystery from the least mixture of Legal Righteousness Gal. 5. 2. Because a Believer's State and Life is wholly by Grace 1 Cor. 15. 10. which entirely treats with the Faith of a Believer and not with his Works of Righteousness or Sin the one cannot help nor the other hinder because they are as the Elements of another World as they are called Gal. 4. 3. and can neither mend nor hurt that Justification by Jesus Christ revealed from Heaven to a Believer no more than Earthly Food can feed a Spirit or a material Sword wound an Angel And reason is because the Person of Christ is the Ark where Righteousness and Pardon is kept and conveyed singly by the Spirit of Grace to Faith which is the Acceptance of the same and so it is sure from any personal qualifications on Man's part to hinder it where 't is by the Spirit of Believing accepted Rom. 4. 16. This Justification of a sinner by Faith in the Personal Satisfaction and Righteousness of Jesus Christ is that which lays a firm ground for Assurance of Perseverance because the guilt of sin is done away and pardoned at the first believing on Jesus Christ and if they be then done away their guilt cannot really return for the pardon of sins and remembring them no more are joyned together Heb. 8. 12. Neither can sins committed after the Souls Conversion to God by Faith in Jesus Christ hazard the final state of such an one because his person was made accepted at the first closing with Christ by Faith and Pardon of sins is but the Consequent of the Acceptation of his Person Ephes 1. 6. Rev. 1. 5. So that Christ having espoused a sinner to himself by Faith doth wash him from his filth and presents him to himself at length without Spot Ephes 5. 25 26 27. and the person being recieved upon the account of meer Grace sin has no equal Plea against such an one because the strength of his Plea must be by the Law and Grace having supplanted the Accusation of the Law Joh. 1. 17. the Trial depends in another Court where sin is cast out Rom. 6. 17. And if sin could not at first hinder the Acceptation of the person much less can it procure a Dis-acceptation afterwards Rom. 5. 10. And besides the person of every Convert is considered in his true Interest through Grace in the Person of Jesus Christ in whom all Accusations are fully answered Faith having got this Foundation Encouragment and Rightful Interest in the Remission of Sins Righteousness Life and Peace sets it self by
when he taught his Disciples that Prayer Could I but pray this Prayer in the Latitude of it I should think my foot within the threshold of Heaven The main Gospel-killing work lies The blessedness of a mortified Vnderstanding and mortified Will. in mortifying the Understanding and the Will into the Wisdom and Dominion of the Spirit and in regard my present Controversie is against my own Carnal Will I would deal with that first did not my unmortified Understanding stand in the way My unmortified Understanding can easily dally with all the Notions about the Trinity Law and Gospel Promises and Covenant Faith and every Grace of the Spirit and every Duty of Godliness and yet but trifle all the while The renewed Understanding sucks in the lively Evidence of the Mind of God in all those things and is called the Demonstration of Spirit and Power 1 Cor. 2. 4. and the very Mind of Christ 1 Cor. 2. 16. This Mind of Jesus Christ represents to Faith the infinite God wrapped up in every Particle of his Word and is the Spirit of every revealed Truth Hence comes that Expression You have not so learned Christ Ephes 4. 20. A renewed Understanding is not taught by Words and Sentences be they what they will and though never so good but by the Mind of God and Christ in them Ephes 4. 21. The whole Volumne of the Scriptures is but as it were a small hint of the unmeasurable Will of God And this is the reason why the Scriptures though the words are the same and not altered yet do they by the Spirit speak variety of Instructions in the Unity of the same Truth as the Spirit pleaseth to reveal it self therein which doth not at all argue defect in the Scriptures but infiniteness in the Mind of Christ therein contained This Fulness of the Mind of Christ in the Word is that which makes it divide between the Soul and the Spirit the Joynts and the Marrow and is a Discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart Heb. 4. 12. A renewed Understanding makes use of the Word and all the Expressions therein but as the Door by which to enter into the whole Vision of God in Jesus Christ and the Revelation of his Will and so takes up the Truth truly in the method in which the infinite God is pleased to condescend A renewed Understanding sees the Mystery of Truth to be Substance and Life through that report of it which words do speak It converseth with Life through the Conduit of Words Phrases and Terms It gives way to the Truth as it is in Jesus by believing and not mangle it with carnal Reason and so makes way for the renewed Will to give Obedience by believing doing and suffering the Pleasure and Will of God The renewed Will is one with God's Will in a way of Submission thereto It lies down broken heartedly in the pleasure of God 'T is zealous in Obedience secure in believing quiet in suffering because the Will of God reigneth and cannot be disappointed It makes the Soul in all things give thanks and rejoyce evermore It grieves where the Holy Spirit is grieved and it delights where God delights If God say to Abraham Offer up Isaac he doth it with joy Reluctancy is gone because the Will of God dwells in the renewed Will and the Consultations of Flesh and Blood are mortified It grieves for Sin because it crosseth the revealed Will of God and yet rejoyceth in Hope because all things shall work together for good to them that love him The renewed Will is always renewing it self by Faith in Christ and looking into the Law of Liberty It thanks God heartily for Life Death Health Sickness Success or Disappointment in High Degree or Low Degree because 't is baptized into his Will And that the nature of this new Creation in the Will may provoke my heart to withdraw from the Servitude of my corrupt Will I would ponder the nature of it a little further The first Parent of the Grace of Adoption by Jesus Christ was the good pleasure of the Will of God in his Decree Ephes 1. 5. and actual Conversion by the Word is the Operation also of the Will of God Jam. 1. 18. which bringeth forth a Birth in the new Man of the same likeness Psal 110. 3. Thy people shall be willing in the day of thy power and by this the truth of all Obedience is measured Isa 1. 19. It is also the first thing the Spirit of God hath in its eye and which doth in a way of Acceptation fill up the defect of all other Service 2 Cor. 8. 12. The State of Death in Sin is Captivity to the Will of Satan and the Flesh and Subjection to the Will of God is the First-born from the Dead it first appears and so goes on as the living Token of true Christianity and never ceaseth till 't is filled with the Fulness of God who brought it forth and so it is the undoing Principle to Flesh and Blood and captivates Fear Care and Bondage into the Liberty of Jesus Christ the Eternal Son of God and makes Christ and a Believer no longer twain but one in the Union and Operation of the Spirit whereby the Dominion and sure Protection of God secures the Soul as the Waters cover the Sea Here I stick and here I groan Alas alas for this day of the Lord Oh for this day spring from on high to reveal this light and breath in the Life of this renewed Understanding and Will from the rolling bowels of his own Grace and Spirit I am sick yea I am sick my Pen shakes my heart quivers with desire after this renewing Work Give way O Carnal Mind of Unbelief Darkness Sin and Vanity that my heart may faint away into the bosom of this changing Power of the Spirit of Christ who has redeemed it This glorius Work of renewing The use of the Scriptures the Mind is carried on by the eternal Word of God by which he made the World All Creating Work is effected through the eternal Word the Son of God by the eternal Spirit from the everlasting Father in which God is all in all This eternal Word hath declared himself by a word of Faith Reconciliation and Comfort contained and expressed in a way suitable to the Capacity of Humane Sense Reason and Understanding in the Scriptures that so the incomprehensible Will of God might look into the heart of Man through the inlets of natural Sense and the faculties of a natural Mind making them subservient in this renewing Change Therefore is it made visible to the eye and receivable by the ear retainable by the memory and meditable by the heart in the use of the Scriptures and so doth in a rational way by Reproofs Instructions Convincements and Comforts bring forth the new Creature and hold it in a Spiritual Union and Fellowship with the Father Son and Spirit through a daily Increase tending to the
the Will of God being the grand purpose of his heart in all he doth delivers him into a holy Rest and maintains an inclination to work still without repining because he is assured his work is not in vain in the Lord. So far as the Will of God appears he is quiet with joy because the pleasure of his work lies in doing God's Will and not his own Communion with God makes up every Breach with an All-sufficiency Disappointments do lock him up within the Sanctuary of God and keeps the Soul at home in the pure tastes of that Communion with God in which it lives Psal 73. 17 25. in a readiness to every good work His good Actions though small as a Cup of cold Water or successless as Isaiah's preaching seemed to him to be Isa 49. 4. yet those works cannot be lost because Communion with God cannot be lost in the vertue of which those works were done through Jesus Christ But while I am thus travelling The Soul sensible of a cold Fit through the Consideration of several P 〈…〉 s redounding to a Believer 〈…〉 way of fruitfulness therein I feel methinks many cold fits to seize upon me as it was in the day that Abraham was troubled with the Fowls which fell upon the Carcases which God commanded him to divide for confirmation of his Promise which Abraham drove away till the Sun went down and when a deep sleep and horrour of great darkness fell upon him then even then did a fresh assurance of the Covenant break forth upon him as Gen. 15. 13. So while I am pursuing after this Salvation of God I find the Clouds gather about me I find not the same sensible Entertainment of the Salvation of God in my heart as sometimes I have done my Soul is filled with guilt and weakness and therefore am forced to retire back from the pursuing the necessary and practical Meditations about the Conversation of Godliness for a season lest I leave an Enemy at my back that is ready to invade me which Enemy if it please the Lord to scatter by his Spirit I shall be more able to attempt the Meditations of the works of Holiness and have fresh Activity to put on the Garments of Fruitfulness in the Service which I owe to Jesus Christ my Lord than methinks for present I am Inward Rejoycing and Peace has been much bruised for certain days by weakness guilt and distraction that has seized on my heart there it lies like a Mountain of Lead when my thoughts would turn inwards I hear nothing but Outcries of Accusation and Guilt possessing my heart I can find no shelter at home I am forced to fly abroad for a Lodging for Company and Food I am now invited to renew my self a Nest above my own heart my heart is grown hard dark and weak it prevails against my former sense of Divine Presence and while it is thus filled with the clamours of Death and Confusion methinks I hear the Spirit and Bridegroom say Come arise this is not your Rest lanch forth through the Ocean of Free Grace and let not thy expectation hanker towards thy self though thy flesh fail and thy heart fail yet God is the strength of thy heart and thy portion for ever My work is to go forth and Oh that I could make a fair Escape to him who stands upon the Shoar to receive me it is not a few Meditations that will do it it needs a Redeemer's hand to fetch me out and pull me up The delight of the New Man is The Soul flies out of all manner of selfish help to Jesus Christ only to be under the Government of the Spirit only and all the Issues of the Spirit flow from the heart of Christ only by which the heart of a Believer is made new in him This Newness lies especially in the Spirit of a Believer which complies with the Spirit of God in the Witness of Adoption even whiles the contradiction of defiled Nature warreth against it And upon the single Interest of this Consideration and Union betwixt Christ and the Soul yielding it self to the renewing of his Spirit doth Faith go forth and claim Forrein Aid viz. the Aid of Jesus Christ to whom it is united in Conveyance of which Aid Christ first takes the Soul more closely into the vertue of that Union that every crumb of his help may truly savour of that Relation which is betwixt him and the Soul through the New Covenant and gives out no saving and effectual Aid otherwise than as the Product and Off-spring of that Union that so Christ may be all in all as the Treasury and efficient Cause of all Relief and that the Soul through spiritual Union only might derive that Relief to it self by Faith and as the Foundation of the Union lies on free Grace so the Application thereof and the abundant help arising thence is carried on through the method of free Grace only for Faith can converse with nothing in order to the Life of the New Man but Free Grace only in the Promse The very nature of free Promises do present to the Soul the consideration of all Relief to lie originally in God and that the Soul is invited thither only to fetch it and cannot possibly return empty for the dispensation of which Grace to the Sons of Men God manifests himself in the Person of the Son who dwells in Humane Nature displaying the Evidence of this Grace in the Gospel and by his Spirit persuades the believing Soul to accept and improve it And the Soul being thus persuaded that his life lies in Christ upon a free Covenant grounded in God's Decree established on free Promises may not stay to ask leave of his guilty heart whether he be fit to lay hold upon this Deliverance but must rather consider the freeness of Grace Pardon and Righteousness which is in this new and living way which God hath made and not Man If Elijah had poured only on the parched Earth that was under his feet he could have had no Argument of Moysture to arise from thence but having by faith prayed to him who governed the Clouds down came Rain and the Drought vanished Guilt of Sin is like a Hedge or a Wall that can easily keep the heart in Impenitency and Unbelief but when Faith working by Repentance seizeth on Jesus Christ it gives Wings to the Soul of a Believer to fly up above all those hindrances of natural Guilt and Weakness and though Sin and Death remain in his Flesh yet he is got beyond the Captivity of the Law of Sin which can no more keep him from the Freedom wherewith Christ hath made him free than a Hedge can keep an Eagle from soaring up in the Air. The Sap which feeds Guilt is Unbelief now when the Sap is withdrawn the Tree dies away by degrees although it remains in its place for a season so is it with the Old Man it combers the heart a while but
Glory of God and the day of refreshing which is promised to appear Even so come Lord Jesus And now if I might out of all these Considerations but take home to my own heart a few Chips to kindle mine own Fire and be really resigned one Inch nearer to Christ I should think the Meditations of this day happily given in What else doth my Soul long for Some Crumbs of this glorious Banquet that my Soul may inwardly commend the Feast and say The Lord hath done great things for me Yea Lord let thy Kingdom come and thy Will be done I wait and cry Amen Amen How to find God a SANCTVARY in time of Trouble With the manner of the AVTHOR'S entring into Covenant with God PErceiving a dark Cloud and tempestuous Storm to be rising and being called to enter into the Chambers of Divine Protection Isa 26. 20. and finding it the practise of the Lord's people Psal 57. 1. and 143. 9. and Jesus Christ having declared himself a Shelter from the Storm Isa 32. 2. and inviting me to enter into his Rest Matth. 11. 29. I judge it my duty to follow his Voice and betake my self to the Horns of the Altar but being hindred by my own Guiltiness and Unbelief am forced either to wander into Desolation of Mind or else to endeavour to cut my way through the Incumbrances of my own darkness by the Sword of the Spirit If the Lord shall be pleased to favour me and bless this Attempt I shall be safe under his Wings And seeing nothing makes Calamities terrible but Guilt of sin I judge it my duty to set my main Battery against that Strong Hold And to that end having chosen out for my help that blessed Word Rev. 1. 5. He that hath loved us and washed us from our sins in his own blood Which Scripture yields excellent Relief to that Soul that can mix it with Faith The words He that hath loved us do import the Ground of a Sinner's Union with Christ for such is the nature of Love and we must be one also with him before ours can be made his and his made ours And the words our sins and his own blood How Christ's blood doth wash being compared together shews that from Union with him flows a transferring of our sins upon him and as it were mixing them without any personal stain with his Blood and so made his Our Infection by his own Will entred as it were by Imputation and Burthen into the Blood of the unspotted Lamb. He suffered himself who was personally without sin to be all over laden with the real Imputation of the loathsome Nature and absolute Guilt of our sins and so became sin for us and yet his Blood remained pure and himself without sin The word Washed alludeth to legal Washings for Purification He removed our sins from us making them no longer ours but his own as the filth of a Garment is washed whereby the Garment becomes clean so our sins passed away Zach. 3. 4. by Imputation and burthen of the Curse into the living Body and Life-blood of Jesus Christ And so the Sinner as the original and principal Malefactor and Christ as Surety do stand both of them before God the righteous Judge and both in some kind equally liable to Sentence for if Christ had not been able to have freed himself from those sins they would have sunk him and the Sinner too And herein the Metaphor of washing a Garment comes short of this Mystery for the filth being gone from the Garment into the Water the Garment is thereby actually cleansed though the Water be never cleansed from the filth that it borrowed of the Garment because the Water and the Garment are two seperated things but in this mystical Washing the Person washed and the Blood washing are joyned together in the Union of Christ's Mystical Person so that if Christ who is the Surety miscarry in his work all they whose hope of Redemption lies only through Mystical Union in their Interest in him must needs perish with him and if he prevail they are delivered for this Washing at his Agony and Death was in some sence Inchoative and yet accounted perfect and was so as it stood in relation to and connexion with his Resurrection which made him a compleat and perfect Author of Eternal Salvation Heb. 5. 9. But how Christ could bear our How a pure Christ was made Sin for us sins and be made Sin for us and yet be personally pure this is a great wonder and he must be without sin all the while else he could not have done away our sins One Contrary expels another but he doth it not at a distance as the Light of the Sun drives away Darkness before it but he enters sinlesly into the state of our Sin that we might enter into the state of his Righteousness He cures not as a Physician who cures by Medicines but was himself touch'd with our infirmities he was made Sin for us he espoused not only the punishment of our Sins to himself but was married also to our Guilt and to all the dreadful workings of it so far as that it made him sick and sorrowful even to the very death He had the guilt of our delight in sin without any delight in it He made himself guilty of all our sins but had none of his own nor no defilement to his Nature by ours If one Man be guilty of another's sin he is defiled himself without lessening the defilement of the other Man because the Guilt is not translated from the one to the other but extendeth and spreadeth its poysonous nature from the one to the other and so fills as it were both Vessels without any remove of the Guilt but Christ's Nature being capable of no personal Infection gives liberty and scope to the Guilt of a Sinner to vent it self wholly into the bottomless and endless Satisfaction Merit and Righteousness of Christ the Mediator till the last drop of it be gone and the Fountain dried up through Union with his spotless Nature Our sins touched him as to an experimental sence of the filth and burthen of them He bare our sins in the Body of his Flesh but that Flesh being personally united to the Godhead remained pure and uncapable of any Corruption through the purity of that personal Union But how unexpressibly far he took in the sense and burthen of all sin and made it his own in the utmost measure and how infinitely pure he still remained the knowledge of this the Angels desire to look into and must be reserved till the Saints come to know as they are known of him Sin dwells in our Nature habitually and actually but lay upon him by Imputation and so passively his Nature bare our sin but could not act it But how should a Sinner come to enjoy Redemption from his Sins by a Mediator thus wonderfully qualified and so admirably sustaining a sinner's guilt This is worth the Enquiry I
may not rush into this Mystery I must be unshod that I may enter in and stand upon holy Ground No man cometh to the Son but whom the Father draweth I may get the notion of something about it but can come to no heart-enjoyment without the Unction of the Spirit of Christ to possess and so to lead me in within the shadow of this Almighty Redeemer 'T is wearisom and barren work to gape towards this Mystery by a meer speculative Search and therefore I would fain make it my design to give away my whole self in every step of this Enquiry to Jesus Christ that I may be taught this mysterious Privilege as the truth is in him whom thus to know is Eternal Life And therefore with a holy fear and tenderness I desire to wade according to the Scriptures into this Deep by the Spirit which searcheth the deep things of God As a foundation for further search How to enjoy Christ actually I find that Christ himself 1 Cor. 3. 11. and a Conscience purged from guilt by means of his death Heb. 9. 14 15. are things enjoyable and so offered and held forth in the Gospel My work in the next place is to enquire how I may actually enjoy an Interest in so high a privilege I am in the first place under a sense of my own necessity to lie down at the Foot of God and suffer Jesus Christ as crucified and risen again to march with all his Train into my heart and take Possession there and then am to suffer his Spirit shutting my eyes and stopping my ears against carnal Reasonings to lead me into a willing Resignation to this crucified and risen Christ my Redeemer which is a spiritual Marriage to his Person A notional Landskip of this state will not serve my turn O thou in whom all the Promises are Yea and Amen renew a right Spirit within me and let my very Soul be moulded into the Truth by every Meditation My Guilt has increased upon me this day I have lost my Thirst after God and do find my strength to waste my Drift is not pure and am carried away into a withered frame and my heart cannot return The sounding of thy Bowels is able to bring me back and enlighten me with the light of Life An impure Eye cannot behold thee nor a surfeited Mind eat of this Manna My Disease is great but there is no healing Medicine to be had but in thee O my Redeemer Wouldst thou in earnest O my Soul be cured and effectually enjoy the Redemption of Christ Then retire thy self only to him and let thy eye be singly fixed there Render up thy Guilt to him who has bought it out of thy hands Withdraw thy sholder from the burthen and with a loathing of thy self and thy sin leave it upon Jesus Christ his Father and thine laid thy Guilt upon him already upon the Cross and when thou dost by Faith lay thy Guilt upon him thou dost not crucifie the Son of God afresh but dost only put to thy Seal that he is the Lamb of God that taketh away the sins of the World He bought thy sins to destroy them he shed his Blood that thy Guilt might be condemned and waits upon thee to bring them forth to him for Execution 'T is not a pain but a pleasure to him that a Sinner delivers up his sins to him because the Vengeance he sustained for sins has fixed a day of Vengeance in his heart against the daily Guilt of his Redeemed and Revenge is sweet Whatever Bryars and Thorns are set before him in Battel he will go through them and burn them together Isa 27. 4. and 63. 5 6. He sustained the Curse satisfied Justice and returned to his Father with the tokens of his Conquest and now attends in the Gospel upon the Elect to cause them to shake themselves from their Dust and bring forth their Dead the Slain of the Lord to the Burial A Sinner then lays his sins on Christ when he believes that God the Father laid them upon him God the Father imposed the burthen and a Sinner by Faith concurs and melteth under the sight of Divine Justice and cries out Even so O Father because it pleased him to bruise him Even so O dear Redeemer because thou lovedst not thy Life to the Death that thou mightest redeem me by thy own Blood I leave my sins upon the Sacrifice of thy Flesh and would crave leave to look upon him whom the Father made an Offering for my sins and whom I have pierced and in the view of this costly Redemption would mourn over him as a Man mourneth for his only Child But yet that I may improve this mysterious Happiness to the more full advantage I would beg help from the Lord to assist me with a true view of the real Existence of those things which relate to Jesus Christ and God's Covenant concerning me and with me in him and what is the mysterious method and power of the actual exercising of Faith thereupon The real Existence of all Gospel-privileges The Gospel is a real thing is witnessed by the Scriptures which do positively attest that those things are so and so as is exprest But such is the cursed Treachery of my heart that the custom of reading and hearing those things makes them seem common and debaseth their Majestick Worth and so beholding them through a literal and common Estimate my eye loseth at once their true colour and certainty which infeebles my Apprehensions as to the lively Belief of their real Existence And in order to the curing of this Disease I am waiting on the God of Light and Truth to breath upon my heart such a quickned frame of Meditation as may humbly and effectually steer my Soul to the Mark which I aim at Unmortified Invention would be busie to hammer out some Answer to my Query but alas 't is a Physician of no value For who can reason a blind Man into the use of his sight He only who brings Life and Immortality to light is able to make the things that appear not to be seen Hast thou not heard O my Soul that thy true and only welfare lies in things which neither the eye of the Body nor the natural eye of the Mind can attain to How self-denyingly then shouldst thou attempt this Search And therefore lest thou catch a shadow instead of substance turn thy self once more by Prayer to him who opens the eyes of the Blind who hath promised he will not give thee a Stone when thou askest Bread for thy necessity And then First Consider To what end dost thou profess that thou believest the Scriptures to be the Word of God unless also thou puttest to thy Seal that it is the very Will and Mind of God exprest in those words of truth Consider also that 2. The most serious discourse of the people of God about spiritual things although their hearts are not under an equal degree of
Society and sometimes Retirement puts me behind-hand All my Composedness is soon discomposed Let thy eye be upon me O my God according to thy word and water me every moment Isa 27. 3. lest any thing assault and hurt my Soul which thou hast redeemed and quicken my faith and hope in thy Word for this Many a wretched stop do I meet with pardon me O my Lord and my God and renew a Spirit of truth tenderness sincerity and rightly seasoned heart for the work I am now upon My scope and meaning in giving my hand and closing with this Covenant of my God is further this viz. that through his help I will ascribe truth to all the words of his Promises by believing them and receiving them as that which shall be accomplished that I will labour to keep the Majesty of the Promiser in my eye and to preserve the faith and hope of his fulfilling his Word upon the account of his unsearchable Wisdom and Faithfulness and not by my uncertain taste that no Guilt of Sin shall keep me from the Fountain wherein Sinners are to be cleansed that I will through the Guidance of his Spirit aspire after a more practical and accustomed Exercise in living the life that I live by the faith of the Son of God and resting from my own works reach after that self-denying Activity which issues from my Union with Christ as my Head O my Lord mould my heart into this life this is the very Pearl that I would willingly sell all to get What a lovely Comportment would it settle between the Actions of my outward and inward Man How would it teach my Soul to rule my Body How willingly would my Soul and Body then be contradicted and take pleasure to be thwarted by the Spirit of Christ when the Crown is settled on the Head of the new Creature and the Scepter of Government in its hand acting as in the Throne of Christ in the vertue of his pure Life and glorious Arm and every imagination of the heart bowing down before it Oh when shall my inward Man be thus cloathed with Glory and Power looking forth through all my Sences as the Morning fair as the Moon and terrible as an Army with Banners This Gate of Heaven I would aspire towards through that means of Victory which overcometh the World the Devil and an earthly Mind even through the faith of the Son of God This is that which I have in my eye although it be as a Land that is afar off I faint with desire stay me and strengthen me with the Flagons of Hope O thou who hast suffered me to touch the Skirt of thy Garment and brought me within the Covenant of his Grace When I consider the Soveraignty of God that he doth whatsoever he will in Heaven and Earth that sometimes he has deserted his people as to the powerful Communications of Grace as it was with David Peter and others in the time of their sinful Back-sliding when I consider these things I begin to stagger about the constant Immutability of God's Purpose and uninterrupted Good Will which he declares in the Covenant Heb. 13. 8. Jer. 32. 40. who saith I will not turn away from them to do them good and I will put my fear into their hearts that they shall not depart from me And therefore to obviate this heart-fainting mistake I resolve to nourish the faith of his constant Love and Good Will in his Covenant upon the ground of his unchangeable Nature that he is not as a man that he should lie nor as the son of man that he should repent that nothing can come to pass but what is the effect of his Purpose that his Covenant is everlasting and his Purpose of Love therein the same for ever Jer. 31. 35. and 32. 40 41. that his Purpose to them whom he calls up to take hold of his Covenant is wholly a Purpose of Love and Grace 2 Tim. 1. 9. that he complains when a doubting heart makes question of it Isa 40. 27. that it is confirmed by the death of the Testator that the cause of Alienation is removed viz. the Guilt of my Sin by the one compleat and compleating Offering of the Body of Christ that Christ ever lives to intercede and is always heard because the Will of the Father and Son is the same Will breathing it self forth to the Objects of Grace by the everlasting Spirit And therefore when I seem to be forsaken I resolve to believe that that desertion is only Physick And to enquire what it is that God teacheth me thereby that so I may see ground as satisfyingly to thank him for the gracious frowns of his unchangeable Love as for his gracious Smiles and to take the advantage of that season to crave his Aid more importunately to loath my sinful self and to revive afresh more purely self-denying Exercises of believing and resigning to him fearing his righteous Judgments patiently waiting when the Spirit that I have grieved will return again with the Manifestation of his gracious Presence to my Soul In all these Considerations Resolutions and Desires in my Covenanting with God my meaning further is that I accept of Jesus Christ as he is the Gift of God to be the whole Covenant to me to work Faith and give the things believed to work desires and give the things desired to act for me and in me that the Covenant may never fail from me because of my sins and miscarriages in regard he has satisfied Justice in my stead and brought me into his everlasting Righteousness nor I fail from the Covenant through Unbelief and a languishing view of my own Infirmity because he is my Strength to labour Author and Finisher of my Faith who gave himself to sanctifie me by the Spirit of Regeneration in the Application of his Word to me for quickning that so Christ may be all in all to fulfil the Engagement of God to me and my Engagement in his Name to God And seeing that Breaches are like to fall out often on my part that he would still stand in the Gap that those Breaches may not obstruct the Good Will and Mercy of God from me nor harden my heart from him that so the Grace of the Covenant on God's part in Christ towards me and on Christ's part for me towards God may remain in the eye of my Faith inviolable when the Peace of the Covenant through my sinful diversions and darkness is interrupted and bruised And that he would still recover me again into a renewed personal Covenanting with God that in his Person I may behold eternal and sure Mercies as the Sun in the Firmament as the days of Eternity Psal 89. 29. And that by his Mediation and Suretyship applied to me by the effectual working of his Spirit I may in my own person be drawn under his shadow to recover my Hold-fast and have my face set towards the Covenant And that he would still lead me
again and again with weeping and supplications to God in him as my resting place and that he would cause this glorious word to ring as an Alarm in my ears Return unto me for I am married unto thee Jer. 3. 14. I will be and I am thy King Where is any other that can comfort thee or save thee in all thy wandrings Hos 13. 10. And that he would cause my bowels to be moved at the voice and to give answer It is the voice of my Beloved behold I come unto thee for thou art the Lord my God Jer. 3. 22. And that I may now sum up the The Soul enters into more ample and express Covenant with God matter of this my Covenant which God has called me to make and which in obedience to his Call I do heartily resolve in his strength to adhere unto guard my heart guard my pen guard my voice and words O thou who leadest the Blind to thy self by a way which Nature knows not but thou knowest thy own way and knowest how to lead the thoughts of my heart and words of my pen and my mouth that my lips may utter nothing rashly before thee Thou hast made a Covenant of Grace and often repeated the terms of the Covenant and hast said I shall say The Lord is my God Hos 2. 23. and has recorded the mutual avouching between thee and thy people Deut. 26. 17 18. in express words Yea Strangers are invited to serve thee to love thy Name to be thy Servants and to lay hold on thy Covenant Isa 56. 6. to joyn themselves to thee and to observe thy Sabbaths and Ordinances of Worship And when thy people did enter into a Covenant to seek the Lord God of their Fathers with all their heart and with all their soul and sware to thee with a loud voice and rejoyced at the Oath and sought thee with full desire thou wast found of them 2 Chron. 15. 12 15. And this way have thy Servants appropriated thee to themselves Psal 105. 7 8. and appropriated themselves to thee Psal 116. 16 18. Isa 63. 16 19. And thou hast said These things are written for my learning Rom. 15. 4. and that I am to imitate and follow them who through faith and patience did inherit the promises giving my self to thee 2 Cor. 8. 5. with full purpose of heart Act. 11. 23. Having this Warrant and Encouragement I do here bring my Body and Soul and all that I have and am to thee as a First-Fruit Offering and claiming Right to thy self through thy free Grace being invited thereto Jer. 3. 4 19. Hos 2. 23. I do declare in thy presence O The Soul makes Confession of its Faith most righteous holy and gracious God that as thou hast declared in thy Word I do acknowledge I am one of the Posterity of the first Adam and was in his Loins both when thou madest him pure bearing the Image of Righteousness and Holiness and when he transgressed thy righteous Command by eating the Fruit which thou hadst forbidden him to eat and that I stand before thee guilty of the sin which he then committed in all the extent circumstances and aggravations thereof and that I am thereby become rightful Heir to all that sinful pollution which by him entred in upon all Mankind and rightful Heir also to all that Curse and Punishment which thou denouncedst upon him when thou saidst In the day wherein thou eatest thereof thou shalt die and that I am by this my nature and descent liable to thy righteous Sentence of Death and Wrath eternally that I did in that day lose thy favour and incurred the accursed effects of that loss to my Body and Soul relating both to my temporal and eternal state I do acknowledge that of thy free Grace and that alone thou didst speedily make promise of a Redeemer which should arise of the Seed of the Woman and be manifested in the Flesh which accordingly thou didst perform by sending thy only Son into the World having a Body framed by the power of the Holy Spirit in the Womb of a Virgin and was born free from all that Hereditary Corruption which the first Parents of Mankind did derive to their Posterity by natural Propagation who by his voluntary Obedience fulfilled thy whole Law and by his death did bear the whole Curse and Punishment due to me and all elected Mankind in the Body of his Flesh And that being thy eternal Son the express Image of thy Person and God blessed for ever he did fully pay the Debt and remove the Curse and deserved Punishment from so many which thou hadst in thy eternal Purpose given him to be a Ransom for and superabundantly recovered thy Image and favour to them again And that being truly dead he raised himself by his own Divine Power and is ascended into the highest Heavens where he sitteth on the Right Hand of the Majesty on high appearing always in thy presence as Mediator consisting of the two Natures of God and Man in one Person continually interceding before thee on the behalf of them whom he redeemed and making the ends and vertue of his Mediatorship effectual for their good and on their behalf That he hath brought this state of Life and Salvation to light by the Gospel contained in the Books of the Old and New Testament and effectually dispensed the same under dark Types and Prophesies till his Incarnation since which time he hath mightily declared himself by his Word and Works the Father also from Heaven and the Holy Spirit testifying of him that he is the Saviour of the World and that believing in him they who believe shall have life through his Name That he has declared himself by chosen Witnesses who conversed with him and saw his Miracles that he is the eternal God and also true Humane Nature in one glorious Person and has appointed them to testifie that he is the Judge of Quick and Dead and that whosoever beliveth in him shall receive Remission of Sins and be justified from all Conscience of Guilt and interested in a more abundant Righteousness Life and Happiness than was lost before that he sendeth forth his Spirit to breath a new Life by Faith through the dispensation of this Gospel whereby he gathers all the Elect into a Mystical true spiritual Union with himself who is the Door of their Communion with God and his Communion with them and having in himself the terms and parts of the Covenant relating to each Party he has so united them together in a Covenant-Bond that the most righteous God reacheth to them his hand and proclaims himself theirs and they reach forth their hands by Faith and Resignation and declare they are wholly his By which Covenant-Union they are partakers of God and all communicable good things in him and are spirited to give up themselves and all that they have and are to his dispose in newness of life and have freedom to come to
the Mediator for Teaching Strength and Purging through the means appointed by him for that end as their daily necessity and weakness doth require for carrying on the true scope and to answer the true end of their Covenant-Relation to God while they live on Earth and through the Resurrection of Christ have an assured Pledge of safe Convoy through the Grave to an eternal and visible Fellowship with him and unutterable Enjoyment of Communion with the Father Son and Spirit being perfected for ever suitable to such a state both in Body and in Soul Now according to this Confession A solemn Covenant with God in the Name of Christ and Acknowledgment grounded upon thy own Word breathed by thy Spirit and experienced by all thy chosen people according to the measure of thy Revelation and spiritual Application thereof I throw my self down before thee O most holy righteous all-powerful and gracious God I cast my self before thee as a poor Syrian ready to perish without any strength at all to extricate my self from the guilt of sin and its deserved punishment I once lost thee quite and had been lost from thee for ever if thy naked Arm had not brought thy Salvation near and opened my ear to hear it And now I do here declare before thee and before thy holy Angels that I do accept of and give up my self and all that is mine to comply with the design of my Restoration which thy gracious Wisdom has found out I do accept of Jesus Christ thy Son to be my Wisdom Righteousness Sanctification and Redemption I do accept of him only to be my Access to thy favourable Presence and to enable me to walk acceptable before thee I close with thy appointment for laying my sins and all my guiltiness upon him and do profess through thy Grace that I will not hazard thy displeasure by covering my guilt or bearing it my self by Unbelief cherished within me In him I do accept of thy glorious Self to be my God and all the Attributes of thy glorious Nature to be my Portion and all ready for my relief and advantage I do accept of the sanctifying Vertue of thy Spirit and am grieved that I have so often vexed and grieved him by Disobedience and Unbelief I do own to my self thy free and unchangeable Love in Christ I do take the whole Scriptures and acknowledge them to be thy express Will and all thy gracious Commands Threatnings and Promises to be in all things most right and to be the Issues of thy Wisdom Holiness Goodness and truth for my Instruction Purging Comfort and Establishment in all cases all days of my life which I engage in thy strength to adhere unto as the Rule of my Faith and Conversation I embrace the Covenant wherein thou hast promised and sworn to be mine and that blessing thou wilt bless me in Christ for thy own sake And I do here heartily willingly and joyfully with fear and trembling offer up my self to thee and the Belief of thy Word and do bind my self to thee this day with my whole heart and in express words to be thine and to yield my self mine and all that do concern me to the good pleasure of thy Will and that I will attend upon thee through thy Grace for Wisdom and Strength to love fear serve and obey thee that I will chuse the things that please thee and not repine at thy dealings towards me as if thou hadst forgotten at any time to be gracious I bind my self in the scope and vertue of this holy Covenant with God to have tender Affections to all thy people who are the joynt Object of thy Love and to attend upon the Manifestation of the Spirit and Power in thy Ordinances and through thy strength contentedly to bear the Cross thou shalt lay upon me in conformity to the death of Christ and that thy self and pure Will shall be the supream mark and object of my Affections And O my most glorious God who pitiest the Poor and such who have no strength accept this Offering from my hand and heart and succour thy Servant who under much reluctancy of Unbelief doth strive to yield himself to be wholly bound to thee When I look upon my own strength I loath it and am astonished at such work as this but I implore thee and do profess I do with full desire of heart cast my self upon the Wings of thy Power to be carried above all impediments that shall arise from Satan from this present evil World and from the Body of Sin and Death which is within me O thou who camest in Flesh to purchase me visit the Soul which thou hast allured to seek and follow thee and cause the North and South Wind of thy seasonable help to blow upon thy Garden my Soul which with delight doth long after thee in this day of thy Power to see and be possessed of and cloathed with thy Power and Glory And whensoever I shall walk unsuitably to any of these things for I am ready to halt and thou shalt as an offended Father be angry with me and turn away thy face then behold the Atonement which thou hast set forth for Sinners and melt my heart before thee and lead me to the Fountain that is opened for Sin and Uncleanness and graciously renew thy Covenant with me and let me know that thou dost graciously accept of this my Free-Will Offering by vouchsafing thy self to be ready to be found and by causing me to be established in a daily experience that this my labour and purpose of heart though in much infirmity yet in love to thy Name is not in vain Let no part of thy Yoke be a burthen to me at any time but a joy to my heart because 't is thy Yoke and thou hast said 't is easie and light make it so and now let an Interest be abundantly administred to me into the Kingdom of my Christ and my God I profess before thee that I do humbly expect these things from thee O faithful God who canst not lie as that which thou hast graciously covenanted to give Jer. 32. 38 39 40 41. and 31. 33 34. which Covenant I do this day in thy fear and in the faith of thy performance lay hold upon and in reference to all the difficulties of this present Life of all sorts and for needful supply of daily Bread I accept of thy Promises and roll my self upon thee in them through the Mediator for Faith Courage Patience Contentedness Deliverance and Supply according to thy Word Psal 27. 1 2 3 5. Mich. 7. 7 8 9. Heb. 13. 5 6. Matth. 6. 31 32. as my need from time to time shall require And also to be kept from polluting thy Name by sinful and scandalous Miscarriages and appearance of Evil in the sight of Men as thou hast promised Psal 91. 10 11 12. I accept of and relie upon thy infinite Goodness and Truth contained in every Clause of thy Word
Redeemer the Fountain of Acceptation Pardon Life and Health In his hands I desire to leave you and remain c. 1658. To S. D. H. N o 33. I Thought good to send you a Line or two I am my self through the goodness of God in health and in hope of greater things to the Inner Man than I can yet attain My Life is a Warfare in all Respects O blessed be the Lord that is never weary of such a defiled Lump but holds my Soul in some life to this day with expectation that he will never leave till the Wilderness be made a fruitful Field and the Old Man be utterly destroyed for strong is he who hath promised and there shall be a performance to the patient attending on his Word God doth so order the bringing about of our eternal Rest that when he has lifted us over all the Mountains and Valleys of this present Pilgrimage he may at length be admired in them that believe and give matter of eternal Praise when we shall look back and see how we have escaped the devouring Floods and by his hand behold all the present spiritual Enemies lie dead for ever The Weary shall be refreshed the longing Soul satisfied the Captive delivered and the Scattered be yet gathered and return to Zion The Zeal of a faithful and gracious God and our Redeemer will accomplish this Be things how they will yet we are not allowed to say Our Wound is incurable but rather say Salvation is of God and he will be surpassingly wonderful to them that wait on him What though the Fig-Tree do not blossom yet God cannot alter the Word that is gone out of his Mouth Fear not for I have redeemed thee Isa 43. 1 c. Thou art mine to revive the spirit of the humble Isa 57. 15. He delights to dwell among broken Bones as his dwelling place that the Mourners may sing away their grief in God their Saviour There I leave you and commending you to the Lord I rest c. 1658. To D. H. N o 34. SUch is our bodily condition that we cannot make up these distances without the intervening of Letters or Friends but that Communion which I trust we have mutually though under much darkness with the Father and the Son by the Spirit of Grace needs no such helps I trust our Prayers meet at a shorter Cut and that we strive together in the same Faith of the Gospel It may be you find you have much to do to keep your head above water I find the same I bear about the same Body of Death and find the same Contradiction in my corrupt and confused Nature One Christian seems to out-run another till God reveal the mischievous Hell that dwells in our Flesh Then Paul himself will cry out O wretched man that I am and Isaiah that Evangelical Prophet be forced to say All our Righteousness is as filthy Rags What are our poor glimmerings to the brightness of the Sun of Righteousness Were there not an equal Relief in the Mediator for the youngest and weakest of the Flock as well as for them who have long travelled in the Profession of Godliness the Accoutrements of the most experienced Christians would shrivle up and wither away and leave nothing behind in the Soul but such an Out-cry as those Who shall dwell with everlasting Burnings but he that dwells in the burning Bush keeps it from consuming 'T was only the Likeness of the Son of Man that made the three Children in Daniel walk up and down in the Fire and yet safe from burning I will be with you saith God in the Fire and Water his Name is Emanuel God with us His Covenant is free the Purpose of Grace wonderful his good Will ariseth only from himself and will not cannot change and therefore the Sons of Jacob are not consumed We little think oft-times in our fear and discouragement how far our weak Prayers reach they are like an Arrow gone out of our sight and we many times think them lost and forgot and consider not that every dry Groan and watery Tear is put into the Bottle and winds up through the ascending vertue of the Mediation of him who is one with the Father to the Throne of Acceptation Let us comfort one another in this hope that we may labour and travel hard but not faint by the way I remain yours in the highest Bond c. 1658. To S. H. N o 35. I Am much refreshed that the Lord doth so favourably deal with your heart 'T is the best News you can write me of your particular to hear that you are toyling with a bad heart and hurried to and again by one Wave after another This may not be accounted bad News because the straitness of the way to Life consists in such a Warfare 'T is good News to hear that a poor Creature that is not able of her self to think one good thought should earnestly desire to be rid of all sin and that she might own the Holiness of God's Nature against all Pollution The Thirsty shall be filled that 's good News Matth. 5. 6. Always keep these two Supports ready viz. God is both able and willing to perfect his work in you to the end Whatever your Fight be let your Weapons be Prayer and Faith and you shall get the day I leave you to the Lord and rest c. 1658. To B. D. N o 36. I received the sad News of my deceased Sister blessed be the Name of him who was dead and is alive and will shortly cause the Dead to come forth that will be a blessed day for all the Redeemed to visit their precious Kindred And blessed be him who has in any gracious measure watered your heart let him favourably add this also viz. That upon all the Glory there be a Defence This is by my precious Friend whom God hath mightily rescued by his Grace I want nothing but more Communion with that God which you pant after more Faith more Truth and Resting upon him more Satisfaction in him that I may say and believe and sing God is my Portion Will he not rend the Heavens Will he not rend these hearts and appear That the Mountains of every fear and disquiet may skip like Lambs before the presence of our God When shall the Promises be Substance and a faithful compassionate God be an abundant Salvation Can the lowring face of an uncertain World and the things thereof make the Promise and unchangeable good Will of God of no effect doth not he whisper through every dark Cloud and say Come up hither The Lord open our ears to Instruction and let us rejoyce to take our leave of that which will not profit Every Prayer we make saith We have chosen an invisible Inheritance Oh what a glorious thing is Faith at a desperate pinch Then is his Throne high and lifted up when Christ is in profit and loss in life and death the hearts advantage above these
in his Breath as in his Breathing so it is with spiritual Life exercising fresh and fresh Acts of Recourse to Jesus Christ And by this means the Soul comes at length to be bathed in the Comfort of his Truth and Love by an operating Faith Let my Condition be what it will inwardly or outwardly I am not to be dismayed from running to God and encouraging my self in him But my work is to listen out what God reproves or teacheth thereby holding this as an unmovable Truth That his love never fails from his People one moment and his People are they who in good earnest chuse him for their God whose very hearts fly and hanker after him such who come to God by Christ who design that as their Aim The whole Scripture doth justifie this plain difference between persons and persons viz. they who come to the light and they who hate it Joh 3. 20 21. Now I say My work is never to let my heart question his love to me If he has made me to hanker after him and if he loves continually then there is continually room for Access to him 'T is true that he hath suffered his People sometimes to fall grievously as David and others and he hid his face upon it But did we ever read that he did turn away from the Prayer of the Poor and while it is nothing else but his own Spirit interceding in them and Christ for them 'T is not imaginable though he seems not to answer sometimes yet he loves their voice continually Faith viz. an acting out of our own Life in the Life and spirit of Christ for all manner of good from God by him is and was always a conquering successful Grace In the greatest Surge it gives either Contentation or it hastens the opening of the Door for Deliverance and usually both together one way or other 'T is a sad thing that when we should be exercising Faith for getting the good of an Affliction and prying after further Discoveries of God's Truth Love and Wisdom and enquiring what the voice of our Father is and what it means I say it is a sad thing that at that time we should spend our thoughts in an unseasonable distrust of an Interest in him His Rod his Trials walk up and down among his People to shew he is their Father and his Discipline is amongst his Children and yet we are apt to take the very sign of our Reconciliation and make it an occasion of our distrust that we are not related to him This Wisdom comes not from above but is carnal sensual and unworthy of them who have heard the Word of Faith yea and accepted it also for many years 'T is bad tempting God and vexing his Spirit in that which provoketh him most But if I think I was not related to him before let me fly to him in Christ now and I shall be his though I was not actually so before for he casts away no sincere Comer But I do suppose you armed by the Lord to encounter these Assaults and am persuaded your Faith will grow by every Trial yea when 't is most assaulted you will be made to expect some good in the Rear which will make you glorifie God even in the Fires Dear Sister I commend you to the Lord Christ prays for you and therefore your faith cannot fail He will be Eyes to the Blind Feet to the Lame He will give Grace and Glory and no good thing will he with-hold c. 1661. To T. N. N o 56. IN pursuance of my Promise and also that the mutual Remembrance of each other may be kept alive I account my self engaged to present you these Lines 'T is one comfort that the Lord rules the World yea no other but that God to whom the Supplications of his People are always acceptable in Jesus Christ and that nothing can be perfectly miserable to them who are constituted Heirs of Blessing and past away from the Curse through the Curse of Christ And though the glorious Arm and Truths of God seem to be overwhelmed in the World yet when God shall appear to vindicate his Name and cloath himself with Jealousie what Obstruction shall hinder his Course or stop his hand I know you are not only strugling with difficulties without as well as I am but with Enemies within and truly that is my case also And I know nothing that keeps me from being overwhelmed but only this viz. some blinks of the free and eternal unchangeable Bounty of God who has for his own sake only pitch'd upon such an unworthy Creature and caused my Soul to hanker after him When I am tired out with my own Darkness Infirmity Pollution and Unbelief his good Spirit is pleased sometimes to sway my heart to throw my self Body and Soul and all my Sins and Cares upon him through Jesus Christ and so out of my own Shame and Confusion of face there darts in sometimes a Beam of Relief from him who quickeneth the Dead and calleth the things that are not as if they were Could we come off more smoothly to own and catch that Hold upon Jesus Christ which the Word of God's Grace doth invite us to we might lanch forth and venture securely in the Ark Jesus Christ when there is not a Foot of dry Ground here below to stand upon When we cannot pray then to remember Christ intercedes When we are all over defiled and confused to remember the Mediator is cloathed with our Nature and that on our behalf in perfect Purity and in the same Nature which each of us doth bear He did conquer over all that which we are as yet conflicting with in his Name That we are esteemed not according to our present Infirmity but according to that Perfection to which we are entitled in him who is at God's Right Hand Could we be more exercised in this view and blessed prospect it would make our dry and dead Limbs recover heat and life as it was with Jacob when he heard that Joseph was yet alive Joseph our Brother is yet alive And all Power is committed into his hands he has the Keys of Hell and Death and is himself the Door of Life also Oh how unpersuadable are our hearts for the most part and loath to credit the Word of his Grace and Truth so far as to resign up our selves our sins our burthens of all sorts to the vertue and power of his Atonement and Soveraignty who has ended all differences and brought in an everlasting Righteousness and Good Will that a righteous God and sinful Man might be reconciled together in him who has ballanced the Account exactly and being gone has left a Legacy of Blessing and Peace to every Soul that flees to him to feed upon till the days of full refreshing appears and we see him as he is When I only muse my own weakness it makes me more weak while I converse with anxious thoughts it makes my heart dark sower and