therefore Sorrow for your selves and not for us But Earth is a place for Sorrow which we must tast in handling the first Doctrine and after we have pleased our selves with it from love to them we will endeavour and seek for Comfort as to them in the second CHAP. II. The First Doctrine proved by Scripture Instances and Reasons Doct. I. THE Actings and Workings of Sorrow in the Living for the Dead are allowed and lawful and ought to be For he saith not Do not sorrow at all this defect or want of sorrow is so far from becoming Christians that it is unworthy of a Man as a Man How incongruous is it for a Man to sorrow for a dead Beast that lays not to Heart the Death of a Child or of some nearer and greater Relation There are too many Stoicks in practice in this point that are not so in Opinion At the Losses of the World sorrow fills their Hearts you may see their Tears you may hear their Groans and bitter Complaints I am undone this Loss is my Ruine And the sense of this and sorrow for it shall last long mâ—y â—hey will not stick â—o tell you they shall never get over it but it will break their Hearts But these that melt like Wax for a Worldly Loss are as hard and sensless as a Stone not regarding the Dâ—â—th of a Wife of their Bosom of a Child of their Loins or a Brother from the same Parents but have a secret gladness in their Hearts when their Children die because they have the fewer to maintain or a weak and sickly Wife by Death is taken away because the burden of the charge is thereby eased Lord what kind of Christians are these that have not so much value for an Humane Body nor an Immortal Soul as for the more ignoble things of this World without Life or Sense or Reason This horrid and unnatural Sin against the Lives of their Parents is in too many Children who expecting the Possession of their Goods and Estates at their Death think they live too long long for their Decease and though they may cloath themselves in Mourning to follow them to their Graves yet secretly please themselves that they are gone and their Riches come to them Neither may any please themselves with Stoical Apathy or want of grief and sorrow for the Death of Relations because they were wicked and ungodly lived and died in Sin which should rather increase than diminish their mourning for them for must not that Man have an Heart of Stone that is neither moved for the Death of the Body nor for the Damnation of the Soul of any so near in relation to him Is it nothing to such a Man that the Body is consumed in the Grave and the Soul tormented in Hell Is it nothing that the Body is meat for Worms and the Soul a prey to Devils As there is no greater alleviation of our sorrow for the dead than well-grounded hope that the Soul is lodged with God above so there can be no greater aggravation of sorrow for the death of the Impenitent than the Thoughts that the Soul is Damned before the Body can be Buried Who or what manner of Man is he that can forbear to grieve and sorrow for the death of a Wife or a Son because she was a froward graceless or a wicked Wife or because he was a disobedient Son yet was not the one a Wife and the other a Son and both had Immortal Souls And if you had no ground to hope at death they were received into Heaven must not you conclude they were then cast down to Hell And take on and say Ah my Son my Son how miserable for ever miserable art thou my Son my Son Did I beget thee to be a prey for Devils to be Fuel for the Flames of Hell The Son of my Loins a part of my self is for ever lost because he died in his Sin He sinned and never repented he went on in Sin to his dying day and never turned to the Lord and when he died was condemned Oh my Bowels my Bowels for thee my departed Son thy Death I could have better born if Damnation after death by dying in thy Sin had not been thy Portion What! gone from me to Devils What! from my House to Hell While thou in Hell and I on Earth I cannot but sorrow on Earth when I think thou art tormented in Hell I have lost thee and that is bad and thou hast lost God and that is worse infinitely worse because the God that thou hast lost is infinitely good If you cannot sorrow for the death of a Relation because he was bad that will be no proof that you your self are good And if you justifie your self though you sorrow not at all do you not condemn the practice of David in mourning so much for an Incestuous Murderous and Rebellious Son because he died in his Sin and unprepared for Death and a better state in another World 2 Sam. 18.33 And the king was much moved and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept and as he went thus he said O my son Absolom my son my son Absolom would God I had died for thee O Absalom my son my son This is the first thing in the Survivers Carriage for the dead sorrow is allowed The defect is both their Sin and Shame That we may and ought to give a lodging to sorrow in our Breasts even for those whose Souls are lodged with God above and whose Bodies being lodged in the Grave do there sleep in Jesus will be apparent and justified by these Arguments pleading for it First The approved Practice and commendable Examples of Holy Persons Recorded in Sacred Scripture mourning and sorrowing for their deceased Relations Instances we find in the several respective Relations in which they stood while they did live together that the Surviving did mourn for not only in habit but in heart when death had parted â—hâ—â—â—â—â—der 1. 〈◊〉 Death had dissolved the Conjugal Vâ—â—â—â— be wixt â—usband and Wife the Surviving Husband that waâ— laâ—â—ly sâ—â— mourned for his deceased Wife So Abraham for Sarah Gen. 23.2 And Sarah died in Kiriath-arba the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her Tears for a departed Wife are not unworthy of a Man nor unbecoming but he that hath not a Tear to shed upon such a sorrowful occasion was unworthy of a Wife Abraham wept for Sarah So Wives for their Husbands The Tidings that Vriah was dead were grievous to Bathsheba and caused her to mourn 2 Sam. 11.26 When the wife of Vriah heard that her husband Vriah was dead she mourned for her husband Powerful Death hath made many sorrowful Hearts because it hath power to do that which all the Created Powers in Heaven and Earth could not do that is to separate those that God by his Institution had joined together This Knot of unfeigned Lovers
Doct. II. THat Christians ought so to bound their Sorrow for the Dead that it be not excessive and immoderate Am I the first amongst you whom God by his Providence hath called to regulate my Sorrow for the Death of a dear Relation Not by many Shall I be the last among you that shall be thus exercised Not by many Many of you have followed Husbands or Wives Parents or Children to their Grave and more of you shortly shall and afrer that others shall follow you to your long home and see you lodged in the Dust And where there was Love in living together there will be Sorrow at your last parting asunder I understand the Communication of two Religious and Tender Mothers in this place since I began this sorrowful Subject that had buried some of their Children The one said I fear I sorrowed too much for my Child and sinned by excess of Sorrow The other said I buried mine and I doubt I was not sorrowful enough and I fear I sinned in being short in my sorrow To have a due sense of the Death of Relations and of the hand of God in taking them from us and yet to keep our Sorrow in due Bounds is an hard Task that lieth upon us Two things I have prayed for in my Affliction of this kind That I might not be unsensible of God's hand nor excessive in my Sorrow for the outward Comfort of my life removed thereby And for the helping of my self in both my thoughts have been so long working on this Text which I might have kept secret in my Study and not have brought them unto you but the Consideration of the common Case of all being mortal that Death will enter into your Houses and take your Living from you and that there are in all Affections common to Human Nature which being corrupted tend to Sin in over-loving of them and over-joying in them while they live and in over-sorrowing for them when they dye hath moved me to communicate to you what I thought for my self that in the like case it might also be a Guide and Direction and support unto you In treating on this Subject of Sorrow that it might be moderate as becometh Christians that have hope and not like Heathens that have no hope of a joyful Resurrection of the dead omitting many things in so copious a Subject endeavouring to contract as much as I can I shall cast my Mattter into this Method 1. I shall lay down some Rules concerning the kind and degrees of Sorrow for the Dead 2. I shall give you an account when our Sorrow for the Dead is excessive and immoderate 3. I shall shew you the Cure or bring you some Remedy against excess of Sorrow CHAP. VIII Contains Eight Rules concerning the degrees of Sorrow for the Dead First THe Rules concerning the kinds and degrees of our Sorrow for the dead are such as these Rule 1. Our Sorrow is not so much for the Death of a Stranger as for the Death of a suitable and intimate Acquaintance At the hearing of the Death of one whom we had no Conversation with we might entertain some Sorrow as he was one partaker of the same Humane Nature with us as he was one that became liable to Death by the Sin of Adam the common Parent of us all as Death is a penal Evil upon Mankind as Adam's Off-spring and which God would not remit nor except us from when he called Adam to an Account for the Sin he had committed and as he had a Rational and Immortal Soul that is passed into Eternity tho we know not to what State in that Eternity Rule 2. Our sorrom is not usually so much for an intimate Acquaintance when he dies as for the death of Relations excepr there be some other Circumstances that might alter the Case For an intimate Friend that dieth the sweet Converse the Affableness of his Carriage the Comfort in his Company the Kindnesses he hath done might oblige me to mourn for an evil as death is that hath befallen him for if it would have been matter of sorrow to me to hear he was Sick or cast into Prison would not the same Principle and Love bind me to sorrow when he is lodged in the Grave But all these and such like enumerated Circumstances there might be in a Relation and besides these some nearer natural Obligation as partakers of the same Flesh and Blood in a more immediate sense than all Mankind in Adom were and this might add degrees of sorrow to what is the sorrow for an intimate Friend when he dieth For being nearer by Bonds of Nature to us the greater the sorrow when by death those Bonds are broke asunder Rule 3. The nearer the Relation is usually the greater is our sorrow for the breach thereof by death So sorrow for those that are near us by Consanguinity ordinarily exceeds the sorrow upon the account of meer Affinity So also the sorrow of Pâ—rents for the death of Children and of Chilâ—ren for the death of their Parents being nearer in Blood ariseth to greater degrees than that for others more remote But the Conjugal Relation being the nearest whereby two become one Flesh and breeds the strongest Affection the dissolving thereof by death begets and feeds and maintains the greater grief pierceth deeper and is more hardly born For death cannot deprive us of a nearer Mercy than a part of our selves As Children are by Multiplication Husband and Wife that walk suitably to thâ—ir relation by such an Vnion that cannot be dissolved but by death Therefore that Relation that calls for the strongest Love of all others while it holds the dissolving of it calls for the greatest sorrow when death doth cause it If a Man must forsake his most Loving Father and his most Tender Mother to dwell with his Wife because of greater Love he ought to have to her then he should have greater sorrow for the death of this Relation than for the death of Father or Mother For proportionable to the Love and Joy in the Object injoyed must be our sorrow when we are totally and finally deprived of it Rule 4. The more persons did answer the obligation of a Conjugal Relation in mutual real constant Love to and care of each others Temporal and Spiritual and Eternal Welfare the greater degree of sorrow as to the loss of the Survivor there may and ought to be Though these may part at death with greater Comfort because they filled up their Relation with Duty in time of Life The more Fear and Love to God the more Love and Care concerning their Relations the more Conscientious performance of Relative Duties the more meekness of Spirit the more kind Carriage and Sweetness of Temper and Disposition the most suitableness in all respect there was in both the more grievous the separation by death to the Survivor must be And who can forbear to sorrow for so great a Loss when he doth sit solitary and ponder
the Almighty 15. Those that remain of him shall be buried in death and his widows shall not weep That Husband was unkind while he lived or his Widow unnatural that cannot weep when he is dead Psalm 78.64 Their priests fell by the sword and their widows made no lamentation When God takes away his loving-kindness and Mercies from men for their great wickedness while they live as a token of his wrath he will not have them lamented when they die Jer. 16.3 Thus saith the Lord concerning the sons and concerning the daughters that are born in this place and concerning their mothers that bare them and concerning their fathers that begat them in this land 4. They shall die of grievous deaths they shall not be lamented neither shall they be buried but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth and they shall be consumed by the sword and by the famine and their carcases shall be meat for the fowls of heaven and for the beasts of the earth 5. For thus saith the Lord Enter not into the house of mourning neither go to lament nor bemoan them for I have taken away my peace from this people saith the Lord even loving-kindness and mercies 6. Both the great and the small shall die in this land they shall not be buried neither shall men lament for them nor cut themselves nor make themselves bald for them 7. Neither shall men tear themselves for them in mourning to comfort them for the dead neither shall men give the cup of consolation to drink for their father or their mother Dying by Sword and Famine denial of burial the Flesh of the dead lying as Dung upon the Earth devoured by the Beasts consumed by the Fowls and no Sorrow no Lamentation for them are Judgments of God upon wicked Men And should those that dye in the Lord be no more lamented than those that dye in their Sin and for their Sin deserve no Lamentation Tho the Name and Carcase of the wicked rot in the Grave together yet should not the name of the righteous be had in remembrance And can we remember their Name without Sorrow that we have not their Presence and Company and opportunity of getting good by their Counsel and Example Forms usual in Mourning for the dead as Ah my Brother or ah my Sister My Wife Ah my Husband are foretold by God should not be used concerning Persons by Name as a Judgment upon them for the wickedness of their Lives As concerning Jehojakim Jer. 22.17 Thine eyes and thine heart are not but for thy covetousness and for to shed innocent blood and for oppression and for violence to do it 18. Therefore thus saith the Lord concerning Jehojakim the son of Josiah King of Judah They shall not lament for him saying Ah my brother or Ah my sister they shall not lament for him saying Ah Lord or Ah his glory or Majesty 19. He shall be buried with the burial of an ass drawn and cast forth beyond the gates of Jerusalem Jehoram for his wickedness was punished by God in his Life his Person with an incurable disease in his Bowels pained therewith for the space of two years at the end of which time his Bowels fell out by reason of his Sickness at his Death in his Name and Reputation in that the People made no burning for him like the burning of his Father that is did not honour him at his burial by burning of precious and sweet-smelling Spices as they did for Asa 2 Chron. 16.14 But Jehoran departed without being desired 2 Chron. 21.18 19 20. And shall those that lived to the Lord and died in the Lord be no more sorrowed for than those that lived and died in their Sin Shall not leave be allowed that such that were desired in Life might be lamented at their Death Oh let not that saying be used of any that sell asleep in Jesus He or She lived undesired and died unlamented Fifthly Sorrowing and Lamentation for the death of others hath been appointed and commanded by God in Honour to them in whom real good and worth was found while they lived Jeroboam his Child being sick sends his Wife in a disguise to the Prophet to know what should become of the Child Who bid her return to her House and when her Feet entred into the the City said Her Child should die and that all Israel should mourn for him and bury him for he only of Jeroboam shall come to the grave because in him is found some good thing toward the Lord God of Israel in the house of Jeroboam The Child died and they buried him and all Israel mourned for him according to the Word of the Lord which he spake by the hand of his servant Ahijah the Prophet 1 King 14.12 13 17 18. Josiah was buried and all Judah and Jerusalem mourned for him and Jeremiah lamented for Josiah and all the singing men and singing women spake of Josiah in their lamentations and made them an ordinance in Israel and behold they are written in the Lamentations 2 Chron. 35.24 25. True and real goodness the Image of God in meaner Persons is precious and honourable tho in Persons of higher Rank is more honoured and might make them more useful while they live and so the more lamented when they die yet as Angels convoy the Souls of poorest Believers to Heaven and shew their Love and Respect to them in conducting them thither so those that live should lament and sorrow for the death of their Bodies as remaining still united to Christ Sixthly It is complained of by God and condemned as an Evil that Righteous Persons should be taken away by Death and those that live do not lay it to heart Isa 57.1 And can it be laid to heart without any sorrow in the Heart Some may sorrow without Tears but most shew the sorrow abiding in their Hearts by the Tears running from their Eyes Shall a godly Man an holy Woman be removed by Death and lamented by none Not by those of the Family from whence they were taken Lord let not this complaint be made by thee nor this charge brought against any of the Family more immediately concerned in thy late afflicting Providence that did befall all of them CHAP. III. Want of Sorrow blameable Conclusions premised IT being made manifest that the Apostle alloweth and taketh it for granted that sorrow for those that are fallen asleep may be should be in those that do survive for two Reasons I will study Answers to these Three Questions in this case in so many Uses to be made 1. For my own sake and the sake of my Children that when we hear we may sorrow and Natural Affections spurs us on thereto we may take heed of sinning in our sorrow and may turn our Natural sorrow to our Spiritual advantage that in much sorrow we might not be defective in our sorrow nor sorrow with sorrows displeasing to God 2. For your sakes because our case
will be shortly yours and you may be to seek how to govern your sorrows as we are at present put to it to study and pray how we ought to rule and manage ours And for both you and us because it is a subject I have not read of and I suppose you seldom hear The Theme of moderating our sorrow for the dead is more usual and ordinary and an Vse of Consolation for the comforting of the Living at the Burial of their Dead is more frequent in Funeral Discourses And tho the Natural Affections of many need rather a Bridle to hold them in than a Spur to put them forwards yet it cannot be denied that some have so little sense and feeling of the death of near Relations that they are a shame to Humane Nature or if they do sorrow and mourn it is with a sinful passionate vexatious but not with a right and kindly sorrow Quest I. What are the Aggravations of defect or want of sorrow for our Dead In an Use of Reproof Quest II. When is our sorrowing for our Dead kindly and pleasing unto God and when turbulent Passion a meer vexation of Spirit and provoking to God In an Use of Examination of our selves concerning our sorrow Quest III. When is our sorrow Spiritually defective when it is naturally abundant Or when it is too little as we are Christians when it is never so much as we are Men In an Use of Caution VSE I. Tho some are to be blamed for sorrowing too much for the dead yet it cannot be denied but that there are those that are weary of their Relations while they live wish they were dead and rather please themselves because they are eased of them by death than sorrow because they are dead The death of a Child of a Wife of an Husband of a Father or Mother is an heavy stroke and as some lay it too much to heart and mourn as if they had no Grace to moderate their sorrow so some make so light of it as if they had no natural Affection to move them to mourn on such a mournful occasion O Lord are not thine Eyes upon the Truth thou hast stricken them but they have not grieved Jer. 5.3 These turn not to the Lord that smiteth them neither do they seek the Lord of Hosts Isa 9.13 But to prevent mistakes misinterpretations and misapplications I judge it necessary to premise these Conclusions 1. Sorrow for the Dead as such is no special Grace nor as such and in it self considered acceptable unto God because it hath been and may be in Heathens as much as in Christians 2. In this Discourse sorrow for the Dead is not to be separated from a sense of Gods afflicting Hand which should be in Christians more than in Heathens A Sparrow falls not to the ground nor a Body to the Grave without God's Hand which we should mind 3. Tho sorrow for the Dead as such be no Grace yet it becometh Christians and should be their care so to exercise their Grace in and about this sorrow that their sorrow might not be provoking but pleasing unto God Many Graces in our sorrow are to be drawn into Act as our Faith and Hope concerning their Resurrection to Eternal Glorious Life Patience under his Rod Love to God tho he doth afflict us Blessing God when he taketh from us as well as when he giveth to us and thankfulness to God for his Mercy and Grace to our departed Friends for their preparation for death and his assistance in inabling them to conquer the fears of death for the happy End that they did make and rejoicing in God for the receiving of their Souls to the Mansions in our Fathers House sorrow for the dead that is no Grace mixed with the Actings of these Graces and regulated by them is more becoming Christians than when it is alone and separated from them 4. Tho Loss of Relations befalls none but such as have sinned and thereby made a forfeiture of their Lives yet the death of Relations might not be inflicted for any Sin committed by the Survivors beyond the Case of others that have their Relations yet continued with them Job had seven Sons and three Daughters in one day removed by a strange and sudden Death and yet he had this Testimony from God himself that he was a perfect and an upright Man and one that feared God such a one that there was nor such another Job 1.8 18 19. Tho we have many Humane Infirmities come to our Thoughts after their Death which being bewailed for Christs sake shall be pardoned yet when no Sin above Saints in an imperfect state or no Conscience-wounding wasting Sin or but what is common to the good and is too often found in the best Men upon serious search under such a Loss hath been committed by them when joined in Life the Loss is more easily born than when some aggravated Sin remembred after they are parted by death and proves the sting of that Affliction Therefore be advised to live in Love with them discharging carefully and constantly all Relative Duties in Life that you may part with less stinging sorrow and more quieting comfort whoever in the Family be first taken from the rest by death It will be no small Comfort to the Surviving when the dying Relation shall give them thanks for all their Love to them while they lived with them and as great a Terrour to those whose Consciences are not past feeling if they leave a complaint behind them on a dying Bed My Husband to me hath been a bitter Husband or my Child to me hath been a disobedient Child and a grief unto my Heart or if they do not if an awakened reflecting accusing Conscience doth will cause sorrow at parting and when their Bodies are consuming in their Graves will be filling and loading your Hearts with griping grief 5. Persons might be filled with sorrow at the death of Relations when it is not for their death but for their own Self-interest in the World As when a Man had an Hundred Pound per Annum by the Life of his Wife and loved the Estate more than her doth sorrow for the loss of his Wife upon no other account but because by the loss of her he lost so much of the World Such selfish sorrow as this is base and might be in those that have no right sorrow for their dead 6. Sorrow for the Dead upon Spiritual Reasons because we are deprived of the Spiritual Good we might have got by their continued Life or are made more uncapable of doing good by their death tho it relate to our selves is to be cherished but the want of such sorrow is to be reproved 7. Whether we sorrow or not sorrow for our dead is easily known by our selves Such as do need not apply this reproof to themselves nor be offended at it Such as do not should take it to themselves for they are to be reproved tho they be offended
Sin his Child did die and yet after the Childs death we do nor read he sorrowed for the Child that died for his Sin with such sorrow that he did for Absalom that died in his own Sin But is your Case and David's alike He sorrowed for his Sin and humbled himself for his Sin and fasted and prayed with weeping Tears to God but did you do so He obtained the pardon of his Sin but have you also Is it not to be questioned when you have no sorrow for Sin nor God's displeasure nor the dead when your Case which is not the case of all was such that one did cause the other 4. Want of Sorrow for the dead taken from them from want of sense of God's hand upon them and against them argues That they are spiritually Blind and cannot see spiritually Deaf and cannot hear spiritually Benummed and cannot feel When your living fall down dead God's hand is lifted up and you do not see You see them fall into the Grave under your feâ—t but you do not see the hand of God lifted up over your head Isa 26.11 Lord when thy hand is lifted up they will not see When your living Relations do dye there is Gods rod upon you and it hath a Voice a loud a shâ—ill and doleful crying Voice but you do not hâ—ar did I say a Rod Nay God hath been in your House with his Ax hewing down your Living lopping off the Children as so many Branches cutting off the Father or the Mother or both and plucking up the Family by the Roots and yet you do not hear the sound of the Rod nor of the Ax nor consider who it is that did appoint both When your Relations dye it is a stroke of God upon your selves he kills them and smitteth you and yet you have no feeling of his blow What! are the living dead while they do live Are the living become like unto their dead Having eyes but do not see and ears but do not hear and flesh but cannot feel You stand before them but they do not see you you call to them but they do not hear you you strip them and put on them their Grave-clothes and remove them down your Stairs and carry them from your House to their Lodging-dust and let them down into the pit and all this while they do not feel you So are you towards God as they towards you God a displeased God is come into your House into your Chamber but you do not see him nor his anger He calls to you by your Dead that lies bâ—fore you but you do not hear his Voice He is punishing correcting of you but you do not feel the smart of his stroke Behold the dead burying their dead men spiritually dead burying their naturally dead The Lifeless corps do not sorrow that they are let down into the Grave and the Liseless-living living a Life of Nature but not a Life of Grace not having the Sense of Christians nor of Men of the death of their dead nor of Sin nor of God's displeasure do not mourn to see thâ—m lodged thâ—re 5. Want of Sorrow in this case from want of sense of God's hand that brought you into it argues That you wanted love to them and a prizing and a valuing of them Love your Money and do not sorrow when you lose it Love your Health and Ease and do not grieve when you want it in sickness and in pain Will you say you cannot How did you love your Child when living if you cannot sorrow for its Death How did you love and prize and value the Com◠〈…〉 â—f Father or Mother Husband or 〈…〉 live without Sor◠〈…〉 them If Sor◠〈…〉 of what was be◠〈…〉 bear some 〈…〉 of Lovâ— then how 〈◊〉 was the love to them when living when thâ—re is no sorrow for them when dead The sâ—ying of a poor Man seeing a rich Man burying his Child told me was this 'T is the priviledge of the rich to bury their Children when the poor must keep theirs Are not Children Husbands Wives Fathers Mothers a burden to such that look upon it as a Priviledge that they may dye that they may be buried What hearts have they that do not sorrow for their dead when want of Sorrow argues they wanted love and yet the thoughts of their want of formâ—r love to them doth not fill them with present Sorrow But something to this hath been said before 6. Want of Sorrow in this Case argues A contemning and a despising of the afflicting hand of God When God gave you a good Husband or Wife or Parents or Childrâ—n and you did not prize them when you had them this was a despising of Gods merciful and good Hand unto you when God took them from you by death you laid it not to heart this is a despising of the chastening Hand of God upon you When living you were not thankful when dead you were not sorrowful in the one you despised his love in the other you despised his anger As if you should say Let God do what he will you will despise all his doings God's command to Man is this Heb. 12.5 Despise not the chastening of the Lord nor faint when thou art rebuked of him One man despiseth that rebuke from God which another is ready to sink under One bears it without feeling of it when another faints at the smarting of it When it is a small Affliction a man despiseth it this is a light thing and easily born When it is a great Affliction man fainteth because of it saying No man's Affliction like to mine no man's Sorrow like to mine my Flesh faileth my Strength faileth my Heart and Spirit fail for this is grievous to be born but behold the Man we are speaking of is under a great Affliction for such is the loss of a near and good Relation and yet being not sensible despiseth that which another finds heavy to bear 7. Want of Sorrow in this case argues a man to be predâ—minâ—ntly a selfish man To have love to or care of none but himself What if a Child dye so long as he himself doth live What if a Father or Mother dye while he himself doth live And yet which is more what if a Wife be laid under ground among the dead so he himself hath Life and Strength to walk above ground amoâ—g the living He can set the comfort of his own Life aâ—â—â—nst all Sorrow tho he see all in his Faâ—â—ly removed by Death and tho he be lâ—fâ— aâ—â— alone it is all one to him for himseâ—â— alone is all to him It was fitter for such a man to have lived alone in some Cavâ—rn of the Earth than to have been troubled with Wife or Children whom he can part with without any trouble to himself 8. This wâ—nt of Sorrow in the â—xplâ—â—â—ed Sense is a provâ—cation to God to afflict 〈◊〉 more and more till he is sensible of the Assâ—◠〈◊〉 and of the hand that laid
him may assuredly satisfie us that such shall also be raised Firmly believe the one and you cannot or need not doubt of the other 1 Cor. 15.12 Now if Christ be preached that he rose from the dead how say some among you that there is no Resurrection of the dead 13. But if there be no Resurrection of the dead then Christ is not risen 15. Whom he raised not up if so be the dead rise not 16. For if the dead rise not then is not Christ raised 1 Thes 4.14 For if we believe that Jesus dyed and rose again even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him Thirdly The gross Absurdities that unavoidably follow the denial of the Deads being raised may confirm us that they shall be raised They are such as these 1. Then Christ is not risen 1 Cor. 15.13 2. If Christ be not risen and so the Dead shall not be raised then Ministers preaching and Peoples believing is all in vain v. 14. 3. Then the Apostles were Liars and false for they affirmed both 1 Cor. 15.15 and in other Texts 4. Then those that are Dead in Christ are perished v. 18. 5. Then the best men are the most miserable v. 19. 6. Then a floodgate is opened to all wickedness v. 32. 7. Gods People then are weakened for doing or suffering v. 58. 8. Then Gods Covenant with his People is broke Mat. 22.39 c. Secondly Besides the certainty of the Resurrection of the Dead the consideration of the Properties Qualities and Endowments of their Bodies which shall arise administers more Comfort to us and consequently will be a further mitigation of our Sorrow God hath not only assured us that these dry Bones consumed Bodies shall live but also hath foretold us what manner of Bodies they then shall be far more noble and excellent than when they lived or died 1. They shall be raised Immortal and Incorruptible Bodies While they lived with us they were always mortal and did admiâ—ister matter of feâ—r unto us while we ofâ—en said 〈◊〉 thought What if my Husband should die or what iâ— my Father or Mother should die These were fretting fears and caused many distrâ—cting Cares or troubled us sitting at our Table or lying in our Beds because we knew they were always subject to Death and liâ—ble to its stroke and we knâ—w not how soon tho in Health they might be taken from us and so the feâ—rs of their dying abated our Comfort in th m while they were living because we looked upon thâ—m as dying Comforts and going from us whilst they were with us But when theâ— live again they shall die no more Death shâ—ll have no more dominion over them Then thâ—y shall be above the stroke of death and the fears thereof and it shall be no more a King of Terrors unto them But as Christ their Heâ—d hath said Rev. 1.18 I am he that liveth and was dead and behold I am alive for evermore Amen so all these his Members shall say We are they that live and were dead and behold we are alive for evermore Amen This is truth so it is When Death came in by Sin all mankind became subject unto Death When Sin was turned out by death and these Bodies shall be raised no more polluted with it they shall be as free from Death as they shall from Sin before they did die they were to die When they were dead and shall live again Death hath done its worst hath done its all and hath no more that it can do Death did conquer them and laid and kept them Prisoners in the Grave but when they shall be raised to Life and redeemed from the Grave they shâ—ll conquer Death and then this last Enemy shall be destroyed and in the morning of the Resurrection these revived Bodies united to their Souls shall sing that triumphant Song O Death where is thy sting O Grave where is thy victory Death and Grave did swallow us up but now the Destroyers are destroyed the Spoilers are spoiled and both are swallowed up in victory Thus the Bodies that were sown in corruption shall be raised in incorruption 1 Cor. 15.42.54 55. then Mortality shall be swallowed up of Life 2 Cor. 5.4 2. They shall be raised powerful and impassible Bodies While they lived here they were weak and suffering Bodies enduring hunger and cold and thirst crying out of Pains and Sickness or torments by Chollick Gout and Stone and Rheumatisms shaken by Agues and scorched by Feavors and swelling with Dropsie torn with Coughs overflowed with Catarrhs and liable to hundreds of Diseases insomuch that they died daily yea died many Deaths before they died and many Sicknesses put them to more and greater pains in time of Life than Death it self did put some of them to in the point of Death but when they shall live again as they shall die no mâ—re so they shall suffer no more nor be sick any more feel hunger and thirst no more and so shall grieve nor groan weep or sigh or sob no more for ever no more aking Heâ—ds no more pained Bowels no more Griefs of any sort whatsoever Indeed the Bodies of the Wicked shall be raised Immortal but subject to suffering they shall feel more pains and torments after they are raised than ever they did before they died and their Immortality shall be the aggravation of their misery for die again they would but cannot return to their Grave again where they felt nothing they would but must not because they must live for ever they must be tormented for ever Immortality of Bodies at the Resurrection to the Wicked is a Curse and Plague to the Godly it is a Blessing and a Favour conferred upon them for tho' they were sown in weakness they shall be raised in power 1 Cor. 15.43 3. They shall be raised Spiritual Bodies not turned into Spirits for then they would not be Bodies Spirits have not material Eyes with which Job said he should see his Redeemer at the last day with those he then had and not with others if it were not the same Bodies in substance it would not be a Resurrection but a new product on They shall then be Spiritual Bodies in this respect that their manner of Life shall be like the Life of Spirits having no need of Meat or Drink or Sleep or any such things whereby our Natural Bodies in this Life are supported and maintained In which respect Christ asserts that they shall be as the Angels Mat. 22.30 In the Resurrection they neither marry nor are given in Marriage but are as the Angels of God in Heaven This will be a great priviledge of Bodies raised from the dead at the last day for nâ—â— we spend a great part of our Life in Sleep for the refreshing of our Natural Bodies arâ— in that time we are not nor cannot be taken up with Admirations of God nor Contemplations of Divine things but after the Resurrection there shall be no
it is a sorrowful saying May Sin invite Death into your Families saying Come in thou Messenger of the Lord come in here is one deserves to dye and there is another seize him and hale him out apprehend him and take him away he lives not as he should let him die as he ought May it shortly be said by you my Wife is dead my Husband is dead and is Grace and Nature in you so equally poized and have you such a just temperament and mixture of both as not to sorrow less or more than you ought that now your Relations are round about your Tables and no ones place is empty you might not at present hear for time so shortly to come what might be said concerning Sorrow for the dead and cure your ignorance concerning them which are asleep that you sorrow not as others which have no hope or tho they dye yet you sorrow not as such do not that have neither Faith nor Hope nor natural Affection Nature and Religion binding me to promote the temporal and spiritual Good of so near a Relation all a long pressed more hard upon me to give my utmost diligence to assist her in her last Sickness by Night and Day by Prayer and Discourse that she might and God through his rich Grace and Mercy in Christ to her Soul did enable her with abiding comfort and setled hope of Heaven look Death in the face overcome this King of Terrors and conquer the Fears thereof when Death by its stroke without a Sting did conquer her This Portion of Scripture from the Text to the end of this Chapter was the last I read and urged before she left her own to go to her Father's house which I do make the first to explain and apply in this place for my own and your sake Wherein are three generals 1. A Doctrinal Conclusion concerning Sorrow for such as sleep in Jesus or dye in the Lord v. 13. 2. The Confirmation of it by many argumentative Reasons and are helps against sinful Sorrow by excess from ver 14. to the 18. 3. The Application of this Doctrine so confirmed or the use of Comfort to be made of it against such Sorrows V. 18. Wherefore comfort one another with these words The Doctrinal Conclusion laid down in the Text consists of these particulars 1. A familiar Representation of Death that the thoughts of it might be more easy to our minds to dye sounds more harsh to sleep is a softer expression of Death Death and Grave you would every day avoid Sleep and Bed you every night desire yet Death is but as a Sleep and the Grave is but as a Bed and both so called in the Scripture 2. The Deportment and Behaviour of the Survivers in reference to such as sleep the sleep of Death which relates unto their Sorrow upon this occasion And in this these two things are couched in the Text. 1. A Sorrow supposed granted and allowed to the living for their dead For should the living be as senseless as the dead when Death hath taken away Life and Breath and Motion from them shall Sin take away all workings of natural Affections from us Shall Death snatch them out of our Bosoms force them out of our Arms and tear one piece of our selves from our selves take the one half away and leave the other behind and we stand and look on without a Tear in our Eyes without Sorrow in our Hearts as if we had neither sense of Gods heavy Hand nor love to them nor feeling of the stroke that thereby is laid upon our selves Sorrow we may tho not as others 2. Excess of Sorrow is corrected Lay not the Reins loose upon your Affections lest they carry you to Sin in your Sorrow Lavish not those Tears in washing your dead which should be kept for lamenting of your Sins Let there be a difference betwixt your Sorrow and the Sorrow of others as there should 〈◊〉 betwixt those that have hope and those that have no hope of a joyful Resurrection to Eternal Glorious Life The Heathens have no such hope for they are without Christ the cause of hope without the Church the place of hope without the Covenant the ground and reason of hope While you are allowed to mourn as Men do not exceed the bounds and limits becoming Christian Men. The Heathens mourn for their dead beyond all bounds of Moderation while they lament them as such that shall live no more But let Christians limit their Sorrow as for such that tho they be dead shall live again and after that shall die no more 3. In the Text is the Cause of excessive Sorrow for the dead that is Ignorance concerning the State of the Dead now and hereafter at the present and for ever both as to Body and to Soul 4. The cure of excessive Sorrow Knowledg Meditation and firm belief of the present and future State of those that dye in the Lord. I would not have you to be ignorant others are and therefore mourn to excess but I would not have you so to be that you may not sorrow as they do Did ye know think and believe that their Death is but a Sleep out of which they shall certainly awake their Graves their Beds out of which when the morning of the Resurrection shall come they shall arise and that their Souls in the mean time are with God and Christ and the Eternal Spirit admitted into that glorious Society of Angels and Saints above perfectly Loving constantly delighting perpetually Praising and Triumphing in that God that did chuse them in that Jesus that did redeem them with his Blood in that Holy Spirit that made them meet to be partakers of that Inheritance of yonder Saints in Light and Life and Love would you groan while they rejoyce Would you mourn while they sing Songs of Praise Are you grieved because they are exalted Do you take on as if they were for ever lost when by saving Mercy they are now for ever found in the glorious Presence of their Lord and Father and Redeemer Could you hear them speak to you they would say you are in daily Trouble we in everlasting Rest and Peace and Triumph you are in the Field we have got the Victory you are in danger of Sin and Satan we are freed from them for ever your love unto our Lord and yours is imperfect love while ours wanteth no degree you know not what we do know of God and Christ and Glory you see not what we do see nor enjoy so much as we enjoy therefore spend your Tears upon your selves and not for us weep for your selves and not for us lament your selves being yet in a sinful World and not us that are lodged in a pure spotless Place and Kingdom You pray and wait and hope to be where we are but we have no desire to be where you be We have a better House than you live in better Company and better Work and sweeter Imployment
We must have the Tongue of Christian Preachers tho some Hearers have not the Natural Affections of Heathen men 8. Whether the death of Relations be a Punishment to some or a Chastisement to others that remain alive a Penal Evil or a Correcting Trying since it is a Smarting Rod all should have such a sense of Gods Hand as to produce feeling sorrow in their Hearts want of sorrow under both is a Sin thus aggravated CHAP. IV. Ten Aggravations of Want of Sorrow for our Dead 1. WAnt of sorrow and sense of Gods Afflicting Hand is not Patience but Stupidity not Submission but Rebellion not Heroical Fortitude of Mind but a Sottishness of Spirit Is that Patience when you feel no smart or suffering Is that Submission to his Will when you have no feeling of his Rod Is it patient yielding to his Hand when you have no sense of the smart of the Rod that by his Hand is laid upon you Submission in this case hath these Requisites in it 1. A desire of the continuance of the Relation before it was taken from us 2. A thankfulness of Heart if God would have continued the Relation to us 3. A sense of the Loss that hath befallen us 4. A reckoning of all the Inconveniences and discomfort of our Lives by their removal by Death and yet 5. A quieting of our Hearts under God's dealings with us in taking them away from us because it was his Will in his Wisdom so to do unto us But if you did not desire their continuance but rather for Carnal Worldly Selfish Ends their removal could not have been thankful for their Life but secretly glad of their Death still for sinful selfish Ends have no sense of the Loss nor did esteem it a Loss but some Advantage and please your selves with reckoning the conveniences you have by their Death will you blind the World or your selves by calling your unsensibleness of Gods Hand in their Death a submitting to the Hand and Will of God However take heed that you go not about to impose upon God himself the Searcher of your Hearts with such a blind as this is When you have such love unto and care of and desire after the continuance of your Children â—s Job had and such a sense of their Death as he of his and yâ—t carry it as he did we will call yours a submission as his was Job 1 18 19 20 21 22. so 〈◊〉 sense and sorrow under God's Afflicting sâ—â—nd in this kind is hardness of Heart when such a lash can make no print nor impression of the Rod It is stiff-neckedness when such a burden will not make it bow It is stout-heartednesâ— against God when such a severe stroke doth not make you relent and melt and yield to him 2. It is accompanied with the Loss of that Spiritual good which yâ—u should have got by sâ—ch an Afflction so in it self tho by you not looked upon to be so When you are corrected should not you be reformed When you are scourged should you not be amended When iâ— the Furnace should not you be purified When in the School of Affliction should not you learn the Lessons there to be taught Is all this or any of this like to be when you make light of Gods heavy Hand in the death of your near relations And do not you make light of it when you have no sorrow for the stroke nor sense of the Wound inflicted by it The loss of a Relation is a great loss but the loss of a sanctified Improvement of it for your Spiritual and Eternal good is a greater loss because the one might be a Penal Evil the other is a Sinful Evil. The one an Affliction the other a Transgression the one is a stroke of God upon you the other is a Sin in you against God Jer. 5.3 Thou hast stricken them but they have not grieved thou h st consumed them but they have refused to receive correction they have made their faces harder than a rock they have refused to return The death of your Child of your Father Mother Wife Husband should have been improved so as to have beâ—n the death of your Sins but behold they are dead and your Sins alive they are rotting in their Graves and your Sins are still raging and ruling in your Hearts 3. Want of Sorrow from the want of the sense of Gods â—fflicting Hand in this case argues want of the sense of Sin that did procure it of Gods displeasure that did inflict it and hinders your Repentance for those Sins and humbling your self under the Hand of a displeased God Tho the death of Relations might not always be for the Sins of those that do survive yet sometimes it is Tho God may not always take them away in displeasure to those that remain yet sometimes he doth and thus it may be with those that are in a state of Grace as with David 2 Sam. 12.14 Howbeit because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die Should not you then search and enquire What is my Sin And what is my offence And wherein have I displeased God Have I sinned and shall I not sorrow for my Sin Is God displeased and shall I not seek to have him pacified Is my Relation broken by my Sin and shall not my Heart be broken for my Sin Or do I make light of the death of my Father or Mother Husband Wife or Child and of my Sin and God's displeasure too Or can I have any sorrow for the Cause when I have no sorrow for the Effect Tho many might have sorrow for the Effect when they have no sorrow for the Cause thereof Many might be full of sorrow for the death of Relations that have no sorrow for the Sin for which God by death did take them away from them that yet do livâ— but can a Man have sorrow for the Sin and for Gods displeasure for that Sin that hath no sorrow for the death of the Person caused by the Sin of the Living Can you grieve or repent of the Sin that caused the death and not be grieved nor sorrow for such of your dead Surely this should make you sorrow for your dead more than others that by their Sin did not hasten their death saying Oh what have I done What have I done Have I sinned my Child into his Grave Did I sin against God and hath God taken away my Child my Father my Mother my Wife my Husband from me for my Sin Have I shortned their days and provoked God to cut in two the Thread of their Lives And so sinned against a Living God that cannot die and against my Living Relations which for my Sin now are dead This would cause sorrow upon sorrow when many have cause to sorrow for both do yet sorrow for neither Indeed God was displeased with David for his Sin and for his
it on God â—eâ—◠〈◊〉 one Child by Death and you â—ave â—o sens os the breach made in your Housâ— nor sorroâ— for it you do not feel the smarting 〈◊〉 God removes a second and yâ—t yâ—u do not fâ—â—l it God proceeds from a Child to a Wife and yet you do not feel it nâ—xt he comes unto your sels and then you feel and lays you dead also and makes you as to your Body till the Resurrection to be past feeling 9. Want of Sorrow in this Case makes you worse than many Heathens They sorrow too much and you too little They are excessive the Man called Christian is defective in his Sorrow They act more like men the Christian so called worse than the Bruits who shew their Sense and Sorrow when deprived of their young 10. Want of Sorrow in this Case fills Funerals with Dissemblers and they follow the Corps acting the Hypocrite openly in the Streets he walks with Mourning on his Head and Back and Hands without mourning in his Heart Others think he sorrows but he knows he doth not and yet he pretends he doth if People knew him as he knows himself would say either get a mourning Heart or put off your mourning Robes If I have said in your Judgment too much upon the want of Sorrow bear with me for I have said it out of a detestation in my heart of such more than brutish Temper in many towards their deceased Relations worthy to be lamented when yet the better they were by some are sorrowed for the less If you think there are none guilty in this Case it is a sign you are not much acquainted with People in the World CHAP. V. Resolves this Question When is our Sorrow for our Dead kindly and pleasing unto God and when a turbulent Passion and vexation of Spirit and provoking to God USE II. IF your hearts be filled with Sorrow for your Dead and with a Sense of God's hand upon you examine your Sorrow what manner of Sorrow it is For Sorrow meerly as Sorrow I have not been pleading for nor reproving the want of under such a smarting Dispensation of Divine Providence which may be the better managed by resolving the second Question propounded which is this When is our Sorrow for the Dead kindly and pleasing unto God And when a turbulent Passion a vâ—xation of Spirit and provoking to God Ans 1. Kindly Sorrow for our Dead and pleasing unto God is joyned with lively Prayer What is all our weeping for them in the Grave without praying to God in Heaven What is all our Lamentation for them without Supplication to God And the more kindly your Sorrow is the more your Heart will relent and melt and the more servent your Spirit in Prayer will be While they were in their Health with you it may be you tendered up Sick prayers to God when they did live your Prayers were dead and dull and slothful Prayers when they were waking with you you prayed with them in a drowsy sleepy manner when God roused you by their Death you prayed after with more Life when they fell asleep God awaked you to more earnest and importunate Pleadings with him at the Throne of Grace If fear lest Mother and Children should be put to death by Esau moved Jacob to mix his fearing and sorrowing with Prayer and Wrestling should not feeling of the stroke of Death upon a Mother a Wife a Child put us on to the like praying to and pleading with God If he when his case only was it may be they must die now should not we when we must say He or she is already dead If he did it to preserve life may not we for the loss of their Life He for the good of Preservation we under the sense of our Afâ—l ction Gen. 32.9 10 11 24 25 26. Hos 12.4 He wept and made supplication to him Job lost ten Children in one day to express his Sorrow he rent his mantle and shaved his head and fell down upon the ground all which he did not under all his former losses till the sad tidings of the Deatâ— of his Children were brought unto him And in all this great Sorrow what did he do He worshipped he bowed down before God and gave Divine Worship unto him by Prayer and Praise Job 1.19 20 21. in all this he pleased God for in all this he sinned not ver 22. What if we weep night and day but pray not neither night nor day What if we pour out our Tears but do not pour out a Prayer Could we weep our selves blind kill our selves with Sorrow or rent our Garments and wring our Hands and tear our Hair and never Worship all this is exorbitant Sorrow turbulent Passion neither profitable to our selves nor pleasing to God nor advantagiâ—us to the Dead Some Persons when one lieth dead in the House tho on a Lord's day will stay at home and weep but not go out and worship God in Holy Duties but when you have any dead it is better drop your Tears into God's Bottle than with them wash your own Faces or wet your Hankerchief from such turbulent Sorrow Ans 2. Kindly Sorrow in this Case will usher in Sorrow for our Sin especially such Sins as at such a time come to our Thoughts relating to the Persons wâ—ose Death we mourn for as neglect of our Duty to them unjust and ungrounded grieving of them or any sinful and unsutable Carriage towards them when they lived with us As do I mourn for the dead Corps I will shed my Tears for omission of my Duty for the good of the living Soul That I did not instruct them nor did I pray with them nor for them did not teach them how to live nor help them to prepare to die When Nathan came to David his Child died when David was convinced of his Sin for which his Child did dye David turns his Sorrow for his dead Child into Sorrow for his Sin and laments and weeps and wails for the one much more than for the other Psalm 51. Title and Psalm compared So you Shall I lament my dead child and not my dead heart shall I shed tears because it is under the power of natural Death and have not I one tear to drop because my Soul is under the power of spiritual Death Do I look upon its pale Face and feel its cold Flesh and thereby pierce my self through with many and bitter Sorrows And do I feel my own cold Affections to God and Christ and all that is good Do I see the deformity of my Soul by reason of Sin and am I more loathsome in the sight of a pure and holy God by reason of my sin and shall I be grieved more for the lesser than the greater evil Is it not sin that hath captivated my Soul worse than Death that hath taken my Wife or Husband my Father and Mother and carry them Prisoners to the Grave O my Soul correct thy Sorrow and
turn the stream of thy Tears into another Channel abate thy Sorrow for the Dead and increase thy Sorrow for thy Sin If thou Sorrow never so much thy Dead shall live here with thee no more but if thou Sorrow not for thy Sin thou must be shut out from living with God for evermore Natural Sorrow had almost swallowed me up and for want of Spiritual Sorrow I am in danger of being cast down into Eternal Misery Therefore tho I will sorrow for my Dead I will sorrow more for my Sins The loss of God and Christ and Heaven by my Sin will be a greater loss than the loss of my dearest Relation by Death infinitely greater The one by my Natural sorrow cannot be recovered the other by Penitent-gospel-sorrow may be prevented therefore while I do the one I will take special care that the other be not left undone But if your Sorrow be only turbulent Passion you add sin to sin in your Sorrow And instead of sorrowing for former Sins you will be falling into new and sorrow neither for new nor old You will vent your Passion by the actings of Corruptions saying Oh that I had never been born Since my Relation is dead Oh that I might also dye God hath dealt with none so bitterly as he hath dealt with me My Husband dead Hâ—w shall I be maintained My Father and Mother dead and I not disposed of in the World who is there to take care of me My Wise dead My bosem Companion dead the comfort of my Life fallen into the Grave When I am sick and in danger of Death who have I to take care of me now my meetest help is gone How is this your sorrowing for your Dead Do you thus mingle your Sin with your Tears and your Corruption with your Lamentation If your Father or Mother or both be dead in your Passion and turbulent Sorrow do you forget that God doth live If your Husband be dead cannot God provide for you without him that did provide for you by him If Children dye is not God more to you than many Children If your Wife be taken from you cannot God help as much as such a Creature did or could to bear your Burdens and Afflictions cannot he provide or prevent Oh let us bridle our turbulent Sorrows and vexatious Passions lest they hurry us from God and cause us to yield to great Temptations Ans 3. Kindly Sorrow for our Dead will move us to seek for relief and support in a regular way dispose us to râ—ceive Divine Impressions by the Word and Spirit of God and belief of the great Articles of Faith beyond the reach of Reason Lazarus was dead Mary and Martha mourned their Hearts were filled with Sorrow their Eyes with Tears and their Mouths with Lamentations What did they do Sit still and feed their Sorrow Give place to Grief and yield unto dejection and despondency of Spirit Or seek out for Counsel and Direction in their sorrowful Circumstances It was told Martha Christ was coming Is Christ coming I shall have some help from him he will teach me and instruct me He will say and do something for my succour and support Wherefore as soon as she heard that Jâ—sus was coming she did not stay till he came but immediately went out meet to him If Christ be coming to her she will be going to Christ When she met with him with Tears declared her Sorrow and the Ground and Reason of it Lord my Brother is dead but if thou hadst been here he had not died What Christ said to her she believed and received and declares her Faith concerning the Resurrection of the Dead at the last day concerning the Power and Will of God to give to Christ whatsoever he should ask of him Concerning his Person that he was the Christ the Son of God that was to come into the World When she had thus discoursed with Christ she returns to her Mourning Sister Mary saying The Master is come and calleth for thee As soon as she heard that Christ was near she rose up hastily to go out of the Town to meet him also falls down at his feet makes known to him the Death of her Brother and her Faith in his Power That if he had been present he could and would have prevented his Death for she said If thou hadst been here my brother had not died Christ asked Where have you laid him they and the Jews that mourned with them entreated him to go unto his Grave saying Lord come and see Jesus cometh to the Grave commands the Stone that lay upon it to be taken away Martha objâ—cts His Body is corrupted for he hath been dead four days Christ replies Did not I tell thee if thou wouldst beliâ—ve thou shouldst see the pâ—wer of God They that wept and mourned obeyed and did as Câ—rist commanded His words made an Impression upon them and they yiâ—ld Obedience to him and had Faith in him even to and for the raising of the Dead John 11.19 to 45. Kindly Sorrow leaves room for Faith and Obedience Faith and Obedience keeps Sorrow from degenerating into a turbulenc Passion which is nourished by Unbelief and Disobedience and in this Sorrow men can deride what they should believe Luke 8.49 Jairus his Daughter was dead 52. They wept and bewailed her Christ said Weep not she is not dead but sleepeth 53. They laughed him to scorn knowing that she was dead But Christ by his call and command to arise brought her Soul into her again to the astonishment of the Father and the Mother of the Maiden 54 55 56. who in their kindly Sorrow did believe what others in their turbulent Passion did deride Tho we have not Christ visibly corporally present with us in our Sorrow to go unto yet we have his Word to go unto and his Ministers to go unto and to hear the words of Christ opened and applied to us by his Servants and under such an Affliction what Impressions might be made under a Sermon when you hear of Sin the evil of it the aggravations of it the bitter effects of it how will you when Sorrow is already working be inclined and disposed to sorrow for your Sin The word of God doth tell me Sin is bitter and I do find it so That Sin brought in Death and I am mourning for such doings of Death by reason of Sin That the Life of man is short a vapour a shadow and quickly gone and I do find iâ— so what else mean these Tears that I do shed for my departed Friend What else doth mean this Sorrow in my Breast for my deceased Relation that t'other day was in my Bosom but now in the Bowels of the Earth When you are pressed to prepare for your own Death by the Necessity and Advantage of such holy Preparations you heart will more readily yield now than at another time when this will be the Language of your Heart Speak Lord and I will hear make known
newly come out of the House of Mâ—urning and he said Fear not I will nourish you and your little ones and he comforted them and spake kindly to them Gen. 50.15 21. Our mourning for the dead should end in the mending of our Carriage and the regulating of our Affections towards the Living When we are mouâ—ning for the loss of one we should be seeking the Temporal and Spirituâ—l good of the rest that yet are found with us When God hath made a Breach in our Family for whiâ—h we sorrow we must be mâ—king up the Breaches of our Duties by filling up what before was wanting Death hath made a brâ—ach in our Houses a wide bâ—each which cannot be repaired for our Dead shall never be restored to us and Sin hath made a breach in our Comforts by the breach it made in our Duties the mourning for the breach by death in those taken from us should issue in repairing the breaches in our Duties to those that are continued to us Do we sorrow much for them that are dead whom we loved too much while they did live Let the greatness of our sorrow for the one moderate our Love unto the other Do we sorrow for our dead because we did not Love them with as great a Love as we should while they were with us let this sorrow produce due greater Love to them that do remain If sorrow for our dead do not mend our faults towards the Living it is a dead and fruitless ineffectual sorrow The Living should find some advantage by our sorrow for the dead Were you froward in your Family before and shall not your sorrow meeken your Spirit for time to come Did not you take care for the Religious Education of a Child that is dead and shall not your sorrow for him and the neglect of your Duty to him move you to make up to the Living what was wanting to the Dead Did not Children obey their Father before he died If they mourn kindly for a dead Father will they not yield better Obedience to their Living Mother And say Dear and Sorrowful Mother we were wanting in our Duty to our Father when he was with us for which we are sâ—rry now he is taken from us but be not grieved over-much and we will supply the want of our Duty to him by making up the more to you as long as God shall lend yon unto us We were a grief to him but we will be a comfort unto you We will indeavour to be as good to you as we were bad to him On his Dying Bed he did complain of us for our stubborn Carriage towards him but Mother since you have lost a Loving Husband and we a tender Father for whom you and we do now sorrow we will carry our selves towards you with that reverence obedience and honour to you that you shall not complain of us on your Dying Bed as our Father did on his CHAP. VI. Resolves this Question When is our Sorrow for our dead spiritually defective tho it be naturally abundant Or when is it too little as we are Christians be it never so much as we are Men VSE III. A Caution to the Mourners for their Dead is necessary because sorrow as sorrow or sorrow as great sorrow is not all in this case to be minded but how it ought to be regulated not only as we are Men but also as we are Christians If we sorrow not at all we are unworthy of the name of men because without the workings of those natural Affections in the Principle common to all men If we sorrow with turbulent Passion vexatious fretting Grief we sorrow as sinful men we may sin in our sorrow as well as in the want of it Which is worst let the offending judge If we sorrow as the meer fruit of Natural Affection with a kindly sorrow and not turbulent we sorrow but as men because we do no more than the Human Nature prompts and puts us on to do But a greater Task lyeth upon us as Christians and to an higher step it becomes us to ascend in our sorrow as we have a Principle of Grace higher than all Principles of Nature and the Scripture a more perfect Rule to govern our sorrow by to purifie and refine it than the Light of Nature is In the first Vse we spake to such as for want of sorrow under the Loss of near Relations and of sense of God's Afflicting Hand that took them from us seem not to be men while we see them to be men but below the Rank of men in the shape of men In the second Vse we pointed at them that sorrowed as men with a kindly sorrow distinguishing them from those that sorrow as sinful men with a turbulent sorrow vitiated with the Actings of corrupt Nature In this third Vse we shall speak of sorrow in our present case not meerly as Humane but as Christian and distinguish the one from the other Do not think me over-tedious on this Sorrowful Subject for herein I do not only consult the helping of my self to bear the Hand of God upon me and the searching of my own sorrow of what kind it is but the common good of mortal men whose case in one House or other one House or other In many Houses in this great City wherein many Hundreds die every Week this must be the common case of many every day When I sit in my Study and hear the sound of that which you call the Passing-bell in the next Parish to us Cripplegate Lord think I how many art thou calling to mourn as well as me and mine And tho you speak of a Passing-bell in common course of Speech and have not your Hâ—arts affected with tâ—e hearing of your Ears yet to me it makes a doleful sound while I think it is a Passing-bell for whither are they passing their Bodies from their Houses to their Graves from the Company of their Friends and Relations to be Companions of Worms and their Souls into Eternity of Joy or Torment to God and Christ and Holy Angels or to the Devil and his Angels for ever and so pass from us as no more to return unto us out of one World into another and so pass from this to that as to find no passage from that to this any more for ever Those that have past from us to the World of Immortal Spirits out of Time into Eternity have left us behind as Mourners not for their Gain which is cause of Joy but for our own Loss which to us is cause of sorrow and our Duty is to enquire further into the Nature of it which because you must die may be useful to your sorrowful Relations or your Relations must die and leave you to mourn for them and many every day have cause of sorrow by the death of some or other the Case being a common Case but the Question not a common Question I shall propound it and endeavour to resolve it When is
our Sorrow for our Dead Spiritually defective tho it be naturally abundant Or when is it too little as we are Christians be it never so much as we are Men Ans 1. When we sorrow for the breach of the Relation made by death we sorrow as men tho in great abundance for so an Heathen may do but do not sorrow for Sin as Sin committed against God in the neglect of our Relative Duties while the Relation was continued for so only Christians can do Tho our Natural Sorrow doth abound in the first respect it is spiritually defective in the latter respect Two things taken for granted 1. Here it is taken for granted That the most Loving Relations may Sin and fail in their Relative Duties one to another for as much as we cannot yield perfect Obedience to any one of the Ten Commandments among which the Fifth contains Relative Duties And who can say tho I have transgressed all the rest yet this I have perfectly fulfilled I have heard that some have asserted that they have lived Twenty or Forty years in a Conjugal Relation without an angry word or unkind act betwixt them if so might not we say O peaceable Spirits that were in these O rare Example and seldom found But be it so is there no other Sin in these Relations but anger and angry words What! Did they pray also daily together or as much one for another as they ought and as fervently as they should Did they by all ways and means appointed by God help each other in their Spiritual Concerns as Duty did require Were there never no sinful Thoughts in their Minds one against another there is one can tell you his sinful Thoughts against some Related to him hath filled his Heart with more sorrow his Eyes with Tears and his Mouth with secret Confessions to God and cost him more Sighs and Sobs and Groans in pleading for Pardon for the Sin of his Thoughts tho resisted than any angry Words or unkind Actions ever did For the one might be more easily prevented than the other because we have a more absolute government over our Tongues and Hands than over our Thoughts What! Can any Persons in any Relation suppose Husband and Wife Parents and Children say they did never Love too much or at no time too little never did take too much care or never too little for their Relations but had that just proportion and measure of Love to them and Care for them as the perfect Rule requires So much as God commanded and no more than God allowed For my part my Prayer shall be Lord forgive my Relative Sins whilst others boast and bless themselves and say O God I thank thee I am not in this as other Men be nor as this Man And Lord let not me be as Blind as that Man that can see no Relative Sins to confess to thee or to be humbled for at thy Throne of Grace when thou wilt find some to judge him for at the Bar of thy Justice 2. The reigning Sins or Sins of Infirmities what they were or are in their kinds degrees frequency and all Aggravations committed in our respective Relations must be left to the scrutiny of every man's Conscience or to God that was an Eye-witness if Conscience was fallen asleep and will be an Impartial Judge if Conscience for the present perform not its Office of Witness Accuser and Judge These being granted that your Father or Mother Husband or Wife or Child is dead you sorrow and grieve you weep and wall you lament and mourn there is your Humanity and Natural Passion because your Relation is broke but where is your Christianity in this sorrow when you had not one Tear amongst so many for the Sins against God and them while you stood in that Relation And yet do not you see while your natural sorrow is abundant your Spiritual sorrow is defective or none at all in this respect Where are your Tears for your disobedience to your Father or Mother when alive Where is the Husband's sorrow for undue and unjust grieving of his Wife sadning her Heart and sending her by his unkindness to her Knees in secret to open her Case and pour out her Tears and Soul before God in Prayer Did you without cause make her weep when alive and shall not this in all your sorrow for her when dead make you sorrow for sinning against God and her before she died According as your Relative Sins were more or less greater or smaller when the Relation held it 's time it 's high time to sorrow for them when by death it is broke and so shew your self a Christian as well as a Man in sorrowing for your dead And do this now if you have not hitherto tho your Father or Mother Husband or Wife or Child be long since dead and turned into dust their rotted Flesh and dry Bones and bare Skull in the Grave do cry to God against you Therefore while you sorrow for their dead Bodies sorrow also for your own sinful Souls because you sinned so much against them in their Life-time 2. When you mourn for the loss of that comfort and delight that you had in loving of them and in being beloved by them be your Sorrow never so much you sorrow only as Men for so an Heathen might do but you sorrow not for the Displeasure of God by reason of those Sins which Conscience doth justly and truly charge you with committed in that Relation your Sorrow is defective as you are Christians You sinned as you were an Husband and for your sin God was displeased you sinned as you were a Father or a Mother and God was displeased for your Sin you sinned as you were a Son or a Daughter and for your Sin God was displeased and God hath by Death taken away your Wife your Child your Father or Mother you Sorrow because they are dead with great Sorrow and herein you do no more than a Man or Woman as such might do but you do not Sorrow that God is displeased which is not so much as a Christian should do You Sorrow because you are afflicted but where is your Sorrow because God is displeased You have many Tears for the loss of your Creature-comforts but have you dropped one for the loss of that Comfort that should arise from the sense of the Love of God unto your Soul You mourn for the smarting Rod that lies upon you Nature Flesh and Blood will make you feel the smart and cry out because of it but you do not grieve that by the Sin in your Relation you grieved the Spirit of God that Grace must inable you to do Are not you herein like unto a Child that is scourged by his Father he cries aloud he weeps and sobs he groans but what is it for Not because his Father is displeased this he is not troubled at but because of the smart and pain that the Rod doth make him so sensible of Do
What do you call it Natural Sorrow Sorrow of Men as Men But where is your Christian Sorrow And the Sorrow you should have as renewed sanctified Men Or should tend by the spiritual Improvement of the Death of your Relation to make you such Should you not say Is my Child dead and my Soul not mended by its Death My Heart as hard and as worldly as before Hath God been smiting me and cannot I feel Hath God been correcting me for my Sin and cannot I yet grieve and groan weep and sorrow for my Sin Hath Death separated me and my Relation and do I sorrow for that And hath not Sin separated God and me and do not I sorrow for this Do I sit and sorrow because I shall enjoy the company of this Relation no more and have I no grief and sorrow that by my Sin I have forfeited the enjoyment of God for ever Is not God better than the Creature and the Enjoyment of God better sweeter than the Enjoyment of the Creature and the lose of God a greater and more bitter loss than the loss of my Relation And yet have I so many Tears for the loss of the lesser and not one for the loss of the greater Good Did I take the Creature for my God that I sorrow more for the loss of it than I do for the real loss of him that is indeed the only True Living and Eternal God Hath God been laying Gall and Wormwood on the Creatures Breast to wean me from the Love of this present World and do not I improve his stroke to call off my Affections from it When my Children did live I then pretended that my worldly Cares was to make Provisions for them hath God taken them away and do my worldly care still remain as much as when I had them to provide for May I not see the deceitfulness of my heart and turn my sorrow from mourning for my Dead to mourning for making no better Improvement of their Death Did I give that Love to them which was due to God and now I have not them to lâ—ve should not God have my love and more of it Did I place so much comfort in their Life and should not I seek my comforts now from God when I find my Creature-comforts thus do fail me Did I take delight in conversing with them and now that delight is ceased and gone should not I improve this disappointment in seeking and endeavouring after and labouring for more Communion with God And if I cannot find this Affliction sanctified to me should not I sorrow less for the loss of my Relation and cease mourning so much as I am a Man and turn my mourning into sorrowing far want of an holy Improvement of my loss and at lost begin to sorrow as a Christian man in this case should sorrow 5. When you sorrow more for their Death than that you are yet so much unprepared for your own And that you have improved your time and means of Grace no more to get ready for Death and Judgment after Death and Heaven after Judgment Your Father or Mother Husband or Wife died with well-grounded hopes of Heaven on their Dying-bed conquered the Fears of Death and rejoyced in the hope of the Glory of God expressed their thankfulness to God that they had had that Communion with God the experience whereof did so much then delight them that they would not have been without for all the Riches of the World And you are yet under doubts and fears afraid to think of Death because you do not know whether then you shall be damned or saved because you cannot tell whether you have believed or repented and yet you sorrow for them as men go sorrow because of your own Fears and Dangers you are in 6. When you sorrow more for your own loss than you do for your discontent and impatient murmuring at the Hand of God because of your loss and do not sorrow for your excessive Sorrow Natural Sorrow when it is vitiated with the acting of corrupt Nature will soon work up to discontent and impatience to repining and harbouring of hard thoughts and sometimes blasphemous Thoughts against the blessed glorious God If God did love me why hath he dealt thus with me If he had a kindness for me why hath he taken his kindness from me If God govern the World by his Wisdom why doth he take away those that are a comfort to their Relations and continue those that are a cross and a curse and a plague unto them Forbear say no more think no more these Thoughts but if in your Sorrow you have such things unworthy of God arising in your mind cease sorrowing for your Dead and speedily begin and hold on to lament and bitterly bewail such abominable Motions in your hearts and spare your Tears to mourn for this great Wickedness and pray That these Thoughts of your heart may be forgiven you For should God's afflicting hand lay you down at his Foot and doth your corrupt heart let fly such sinful Actings in his Face Or will you mourn for your Affliction by the Instigation of natural Affection as a Man and not at all grieve and groan sigh and sob lament and bewail the Exorbitancy of your Passion tho it work to so great a Provocation of a Just and Powerful God and by such discontent risen to such an height shew your self a corrupt Man and by not sorrowing for these sinful workings of heart shew your self to be no Religious Man 7. When you sorrow more for your outward worldly loss by the Death of your Relation than you do for your distrust in the Promises and Providence of God to provide for you A Wife had a dependency upon her Husband and Children on their Father under God He dies and their trust in God dieth with him What shall we do now for a maintenance For supply of our wants Who shall give us Bread to eat and Raiment to put on Is not this to mourn more like an Heathen than a Christian Can God provide for you no way but one By no other means than by him that was an Husband or a Father to you You are short in your Christian Sorrow while you are excessive in your Turbulent Sorrow 8. When you sorrow more for the dead Body of your Relation than you do for the want of greater Faith and Hope and quieting thoughts of a joyful Resurrection which should be the Fruit of that Faith and Hope You see the dead Corps in the Coffin laid in the Grave thither your Thoughts run daily when you do not to mourn over them in the Grave fixing your thoughts how they putrify and rot how they consume and moulder away and this pierceth your heart But you do not meditate as one that believes they shall live again and be glorious Bodies and in this your sorrow is defective as you are a Christian CHAP. VII The Second Doctrine and the general Method propounded
Hell and be partakers of Eternal Glory in Heaven And when you did not prevail with them did you go to your Knees and pray to God Lord change my Husbands Heart convert and sanctifie his Soul that when he dies he might not be Damned Lord shew my Son his Sin and Danger convince him melt and break his Heart for Sin awaken his Conscience make him feel the burden of his Sin now that he might not bear the heavy Load of thy powerful Wrath for ever Tho he should be Poor yet let him not be wicked if thou wilt not give him Riches yet give him thy Grace or if thou hast given him the one good Lord deny him not the other Afflict him in this World rather than Damn him in the next Deal as thou pleasest with him in Temporals but deny not my Prayer for him for Special Spiritual Grace and for the Eternal Salvation of his Soul If you did your Duty you may have peace on Earth tho he hath no rest in Hell And the remembrance of this may be your Comfort in your sorrow If you did not it is safer for you to sorrow that you sinned than that he is Damned while you neglect to sorrow for the neglect of your Duty in endeavouring to prevent his damnation Sorrow for his Misery will never help him out but penitent sorrow for your own Sin is one appointed means to escape that Misery you lament that he is in Q. 3. Which is most fitting in your Reason and Judgment That God should be just in the Damnation of an impenitent Sinner tho he were your Relation or that he should deal with his separated Soul in a way of Mercy contrary to his Truth because he was your Relation Is it not more sitting that God should punish him for ever for his sinalâ— unbelief and impenitent hardness of Heart tho he were your Husband or your Son than that God should violâ—â—e his own word in saving him in an unconverted state because he was your Husband or your Son Do not you know that God is no respecter of Persons Rom. 2.11 And would not this be a respect oâ— a Person to save him in his Sin when he died in his Sin meerly because he was while he liâ—ed so related unto you Think of this to quiet your Heart and make your sorrow less Passionate but more Rational and so more moderate For is not his damnation more grievous to you because he was yours than the damnation of another never related to you tho the Soul of the one is equally Immortal and Miserable as the other And why should you have harder Thoughts of God in your sorrow for punishing yours because yours than of punishing of others when yours were equally sinful in Life and equally impenitent at death as others were Q. 4. Is not God and Christ the only Saviour of Souls infinitely more merciful than you And yet if the Father of Mercies and the Saviour of Sinners do approve of the Damnation of your impenitent Husband or Wise Father or Mother Son or Daughter why should you be filled with turbulent disquieting sorrow Should you appoint to him the measures of his Mercy or the Persons he should shew it to Doth he owe it to you or them or any other Is it not free so that he may have Mercy on whom he will have Mercy and Compassion on whom he will have Compassion Rom. 9.15 May not God act as a just God but you will sorrow as if he were not a Merciful God If the most Merciful God and Compassionate Saviour approve of the Everlasting Punishment of your Impenitent Relations as an Act of Justice and therefore good and therefore amiable Why should you so excessively grieve as if your Mercy was beyond the Mercy of the Father and the Son Q. 5. Have not you more cause to Joy and Rejoice at to give Thanks and Praise to God for your well-grounded Hopes of Heaven than to discâ—mpose your self for this Wâ—rk by your vexing sorrow because others are lost without hopes of finding Mercy What if the nearest to you in Relation shall for their wilful final refusing of Remedying Grace perish for ever should not you admire and magnifie praise and celebrate the free distinguishing Grace and differencing Mercy of God to you that you shall be for ever saved And say Will God shew Eternal Mercy to me when he will pour out his Eternal Wrath upon my Father or Mother Brother or Sister Husband or Wife or Child What was I more than they that they should be Damned and I should be saved after Death Was not I equally involved in the Guilt of Adam 's Sin as they were Was not I born a Child of Wrath as well as they Was not my Heart as bad my Sin as great my Nature as corrupt as theirs was Was not I as backward to good as prone to evil as they were and it may be more too Should not I with others cry out and say Eph. 1.3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who hath blessed us and me amongst them with spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ Should not I give thanks and praise to God for blessing me with such blessings which tend to Eternal Glory which Christ hath purchased promised prepared and possessed for me tho others near to me are Cursed with an Everlasting Curse in Hellish Places justly inflicted on them for their Sin and continuing finally Impenitent under the same And can you be lifted up in such high praises of your God for his Mercy to you when you are so cast down into depths of sorrow at the Thoughts of God's punishing Justice with others Q. 6. Do not the Holy Angels and Blessed Saints above know as much of the Torments of Hell and of the Misery of the Damned as you do and yet are they filled with such sorrow because of any being there as you are Do saved Souls above sorrow there because they do not find the Souls of others there whom they knew on Earth and were Related to that died before them As they do rejoice to see others there whom they were here acquainted with and Related to And will you pretend to be more Compassionate and Merciful than Angels and Saints in a perfect state of Bliss and Glory Q. 7. Shall not you your self being a Penitent Believer approve the Righteous Sentence of Damnation upon those that were your nearest Relations in this World but died impenitently in their Sins Do not you know the Saints shall judge the World final-unbelieving Men and Apostate Angels 1 Cor. 6.2 3. And shall you sorrow then or rejoice at the Condemning Sentence of Jesus Christ upon all the ungodly tho many of your Relations should be amongst them And if you are to come as near to pleasing of God and being pleased in what he doth now as what you shall hereafter be why should you have so much vexing sorrow at that now for which you shall
have none in that day tho others be condemned Do you think this Self-tormenting sorrow for the Damned proceeds from such Mercy in you to them in your imperfect state on Earth when you shall have no Mercy to them nor sorrow foâ— them in your perfect state in Heaven Q. 8. Should not your Zeal for Love to Desire after Delight in the Glory of God over-power and overcome all your passionate sorrow at the concernment of the Creature Is your own Salvation to be sought in subordination to the Gloâ—y of God And would you have the salvâ—tion of yours stand in competition with it or be prâ—ferred before it Would you have God lose his Glory in giving â—â—ing to your Relations If they did not anâ— indeed would not glorifie him by pâ—â—â—â—ent confâ—ssing of their Sin by serious tuâ—ning to him by thankful consenting to a Sâ—viour freeâ—y and frâ—quently offered to them but went on in Sin despised his Grace and slighted his Mercy and abused his Patience and finally refused the only Saviour and all this to his Dishonour in this World while they lived would you have God also to lose the Glory of his Justice Holiness Power and Truth in not punishing them for their Sin thus persistâ—d in when they died in the other World Should you so sorrow beyond all bounds when you mourn for their Death to mourn so much for their Damnation when God most righteously glorifieth himself in most just punishing them for their Sin who by their Sin did so wickedly dishonour him As for the Eternal state of Infants whom the sorrowful Religious Parents follow to the Grave and lodge them in the Dust I shall not now discourse it but think they are to hope well concerning them and tho they be their Parents not to take upon them to be their Judges and when they have passed a Sentence upon them according to their ungrounded fears next torment themselves and pierce themselves through with self-wracking Sorrows CHAP. X. The Ninth and Tenth Rule Five Reasons for great Sorrow for the Death of Ministers Rule 9. OVR sorrow for such as die full of Days and full of Grace and Hopes of Glory should not be so deep as for such that are holy but taken from us in the midst of their Days When an Holy Person Converted when Young hath led an Holy Conversation filled up his Duties in his General and Particular Calling been useful and serviceable in his respective Circumstances hath fought a good Fight hath kept the Faith and finished his Course when the Lease of Man's Life Seventy years is almost out is ripe for Heaven and Nature is worn parts of the Body decayed with Age and with such a Constitution in a Course of Nature could not live much longer but with grief and pains with aches and groans like ripe and mellow Fruit without violent shaking fall to the ground we have more cause to give thanks to God they lived so long served him so much were useful so many years and such a long-standing Comfort to Relations than to be bowed down with sorrow to be filled straitned and loaded with grief that they died at last Wherefore the Survivors of such should reckon up their Mercies take an account of their many Comforts and remember Blessings old and new had and received in the long Enjoyment of such a Relation in Life and then let thankfulness and sorrow joy and grief contend for Victory and strive which should exceed the other and when all is laid together and duly weighed by a Soul that is desirous that God should have the praise of his manifold Mercies in a Relative state almost for Forty years as well as himself have a sense of his loss if Nature prompt him to be sorrowful Grace would provoke him to be thankful but yet if the Contest remain as his Condition is mixt with Mercy and Affliction so let his frame of Heart be mixt with a Tincture of both and let them take their turns that one while he may be sorrowful for his loss another while be thankful for so many Mercies before that loss did befall him Rule 10. Our sorrow for the Death of Godly and Zealous Men that were in a Publick Station and Capacity admits of greater degrees than sorrow for our own Relations as private Persons Tho our sorrow for these may be more sensitive and passionate yet the sorrow for the other may exceed in degrees as more Judicious and Rational Sorrow for Godly Religious Zealous Magistrates for Able Holy and Laborious Ministers when taken away by Death should be more extensive and intensive than for others that did only live a private Life that is there should be more Mourners in number and all these should mourn with greater degrees at least of Rational sorrow for publick Persons than for private Thus all Judah and Jerusalem mourned for Josiah with a very great mourning 2 Chron. 35.24 25. When Samuel died all the Israelites were gathered together and lamented him 1 Sam. 25.1 The hearing that a Minister is Sick should fill many Hearts with much sorrow The hearing that he is recovered is matter of Joy Phil. 2.26 27 28. But the hearing that he is dead should multiply the sorrow of many And there are great Reasons of great sorrow for the death of such 1. The Death of such publick Persons is a publick loss And the more general the loss is the more general the sorrow should be When a private Person dieth that was godly as he was a Praying Christian many are losers by his death for he prayed for many while he lived yea for all Mankind in common and for the Church of God in special and therefore such a Man's death should be lamented by many but when a Publick Preacher dieth many do lose his Preaching Labours as well as the benefit of his fervent Prayers and all that are losers should be Mourners 2. The death of such is a Spiritual Loss Can we sorrow for the Temporal Losses that befall us by the death of private Persons and shall we not sorrow for our loss in Spirituals by the death of such that in their Life were helpers of our Souls in our way to Heaven Was he a Spiritual Father to many and might have been to more Is a Spiritual Birth a greater Mercy than our Natural Birth And shall our Natural Parents be lamented when they die and no sorrow for the other when they can Preach to us and Pray with us and for us no more How many Persons may one Minister instruct What a number might such a one at once and from day to day teach and direct in the way to Eternal Salvation And when such a one dieth what a loss would it be if God in Mâ—rcy did not raise up others when he falleth into his Grave 3. By the Life and Labours of such the Kingdom of Sin and Satan is battered and shaken and the Kingdom of Christ is encreased and carried on therefore all that are
you kill another and so bring in Death upon Death into your Family and invite and call it in to make Freach upon Breach Do you complain of Deaths doings and will you do as Death hath done do you grieve and sorrow for the death of another and by your grief and sorrow will you be your own death and yet not yield your sorrow is too much do you sorrow because yours are lodged in the Grave and do you thus hasten to go to them though God hath put an end to their lives yet hath not he bound you by all lawful means to preserve your own and to avoid whatsoever hath so great a tendency to cut it short or do not you know that excessive grief often is the cause of death Did you never read in the Bills of Mortality that some that many have died with grief and killed themselves with sorrow or did you never mind the difference given by the Apostle betwixt godly sorrow and sorrow of the World for worldly Losses and is not your sorrow such in thâ—s case 2 Cor. 7.10 for godly sorrow worketh râ—pentance to salvation not to be repented of but the sorrow of the world worketh death That sorrow that is for worldly losses and crosses proceeding from the over-much love of these Creature-Comforts doth huâ—â— the Body and hasten death temporal and doth wrong the Soul because sinful and doth deserve death eternal for the wages of every sin is death temporal and eternal Rom. 6.23 and will you so sorrow for another dead body as thereby to deserve the damnation of your own Soul and yet not say it is too much When your Spirit is broken your heart is broken how can you live and what will break it Prov. 15.13 By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken Prov. 17.22 A broken spirit drieth the bones Psal 6.7 My eye is consumed because of grief Immoderate sorrow drieth the Bones breaks the Heart preys upon the Spirits consumeth the Vital Parts and by all hastens death and therefore not to be cherished but avoided Q. 2. Is not that sorrow that must be sorrowed for excâ—ssive sorrow See the strait you bring your self into You sorrow too much and because you do so you must sorrow more and so add sorrow to sorrow ' when it is and because it is too much already you have more than you ought and yet you have not so much as you should you must have sorrow for your sorrow and yet you want sorrow for your sorrow Your eyes run down with tears for your dead more than they should and when you should weep for your excessive sorrow you haâ—e not a tear to shed Why do you waste your tears for what and more than you should and then want tears for what you ought to shed them for Excessive sorrow is a sin because it is excessive and sinful sorrow must be sorrowed for and repented of or how will you else get the pardon of that known Sin What do you mean then by sorrow to draw on sorrow and so to weep that you must weep over your weeping and to shed tears over again for the tears that you have shed if you cannot bear this sorrow that you are filled with already why by this sorrow do you make way for more and fo depth of sorrow calling for depth of sorrow you at last must swim in tears where you cannot wade through Q 3. Is not that sorrow too much that doth hurt and no good is sorrow good in it self as sorrow Then all sorrow would be good Whereas much sorrow is often evil and too much is always evil because as such it doth hurt and not good Whom doth your sorrow do good unto not to your dead be it never so much not to your Relations that live for you grieve them by over grieving and makes your company a burthen and unprofitable to them not to your self neither to Body oâ— to Soul for it is prejudicial unto both as before was made manifest Q. 4. Is not that sorrow too much for your dead which would be too much for your sin Many are defective in sorrowing for sin few sorrow too much for sin yet men may be and some are excessive in their sorrow for sin insomuch that their sorrow for sin is turned into sinful sorrow as when they are so overwhelmed with sorrow for sin as unsits them for other Gospel Duties and drives them from Christ and sinks them into despair which sorrow is excessive and God gives caution and charge against such sorrow sor our sin 2 Cor 2.7 So that cantrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him and comfort him lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with ovâ—rmuch sorrow When sorrow for sin doth more hurt than good it is over-much and so is our sorrow for our dead Q. 5. Is not that sorrow too much for your dead which is more than you have for your sin Is not sorrow upon the account of some present evil that is upon us as joy is for some present good and should not the degree of our sorrow bear some proportion to the greatness of the evil that is the cause and reason of our sorrow Is not sin against God a greater evil than any besides sin doth fall upon us Is not your own dead heart and cold affections towards God a greater evil than the dead Corps and cold Flesh in the Grave which is the cause of all this sorrow Now when your sorrow is more for the lesser evil than it is for the greater judge if your sorrow for the greater is not too small and your sorrow for the lesserâ— over-much and excessive Q. 6. Is not that sorrow over-much which carries our thoughts down into the Grave to think of their Dead Corps but hinders them from ascending into Heaven to meditate upon the the Eternal Ever-living God What a shame and reproach is it to us that a dead Wife or a dead Child or a dead Father or Mother should have more of our Thoughts than God and Christ and things above and that the Bodies of our departed Relations consuming in their Graves should have more of our thoughts than their Souls triumphing in Heaven have that it is so our excessive sorrow doth testifie to our faces for we cannot say nor do pretend to sorrow for the Soul in Heaven is it not then for the Body in the Grave And why should not the Joy the Immortal part is filled with abate our Sorrow for the Corruptible part though it be consuming if our thoughts were as much with the Soul in Heaven as they are with the Body in the Grave Let these Excessive Mourners ingenuously confess if they have not twenty thoughts of the Dead Body for one serious heart affecting Thought they have of God and Christ and the living triumphant Soul above for would not the one cause Joy as others do Sorrow and so our Joy mitigate be equal to or exceed our Sorrow if it be
not so it is easy to judge your sorrow is over-much Q. 7. Is not your sorrow over-much when it hinders you and keeps you from rejoycing in God from praising of him and giving thanks unto him for the mercies you have mixed with your affliction Have not you more Mercies left than you have lost have not you greaeter Mercies continued than are removed is your Earthly Father dead but have not you still a Father in Heaven is your Wife dead but is not your Soul married to Christ and though the Conjugal Union be broken by Death yet doth not the Mystical Union betwixt Christ and you still remain have not you the pardon of Sin the favour of God the sense of his Love and Hopes of Heaven seriously set these over against your Dead and say if you have not more cause to rejoice in God and give him thanks for these than you have to mourn for your Dead and whether God doth not command you more and give you a stricter charge sor these to rejoice in him than to mourn for your Dead and consequently is the grand constant Duty you owe to God all the days of your Life and are you so much indebted to your dead as you are to the Living God Was their Life of so much worth to you as your Relation to God is and your Receivings from him see your Duty and cease from that which hinders your performance of it Phil. 3.1 Finally my Brethren rejoice in the Lord. Whatsoever state you are in serve God with joyful hearts Phil. 4.4 Rejoice in the Lord alway and again I say rejoice Always rejoice in the Lord What whâ—n my Father or Mother or Child Wife or Husband lieth dead in my House or is newly lodged in the Grave Is it not alway you are commanded to rejoice is there this Exception when you have any Relation dead that then this should be no Duty Have not Christians always greater cause of rejoycing in the Lord than they have of sorrow for Worldly Losses is not holy joy in the Lord and a thankful praising of God the very Flower of Religion and makes us most like the Angels and Saints above but can you thus rejoice and praise and magnifie God and triumph in his Love and Grace when you are overwhelmed with sorrow for the loss of Worldly Comforts and is not that sorrow too much that unfits you for this constant standing Duty 1 Thes 5.16 Rejoice evermore 17. Pray without ceasing 18. In every thing give thanks for this is the will of God in Jesus Christ concerning you Whatever a true Believer doth lose he should rejoice because the Grounds and Reasons and Causes of Joy do still remain and in every Case and Condition of life should give thanks to God for as much as the Good that continueth to him doth exceed the Evils that do befal him This is God's revealed Will making it our Duty for the great Blessings we receive from him by Christ Job's sorrow for the loss of ten Children in one day by a strange unusual death added to all his former Losses making his Case more sorrowful than yours was kept within such Bounds as that he was able even then to bless and praise the Lord. Job 1.19 They are dead 21. He said naked came I out of my mother's womb and naked shall I return thither the Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the Lord. In your sorrow try if you can do so if not judge whether it be not over-much Q. 8. Is not that sorrow for your dead over-much which doth deaden your Heart towards God in all Holy Duties You were wont to pray with a lively Heart and to hear the Word of God with warm Affections but now you pray with a dead Heart and hear with dull Affections Your Love and Desires and Delights are become as cold in your Duties as your Relations Corps are in the Grave What have you done in your sorrow taken away a lively Heart towards God and laid a dead Child a dead Father or Wife in the room of it Like the Woman in Solomon's Reign whose Child did die in the Night and there being another Woman in the House that had a living Child rose and while the living Child's Mother did slâ—ep took her living Child out of her Bosom and laid her dead Child in her Bosom in the room of the living Child But these two Women contended before Solomon one saying The living Child is mine but the dead Child is thine the other also said The dead Child is thine but the living Child is mine 1 Kings 3.16 to 24. Solomon commanded a Sword to be brought to divide the living Child and to give half to the one and half to the other The true Mothers Bowels yearning towards her Child said O my Lord give her the living Child and by no means slay it the other said Let it be neither mine nor thine but divide it whereby the King discerned the Natural Mother and commanded the living Child to be given to her ver 24 25 26 27. Love filled your Heart to your living Child Sorrow fills your Heart for your dead Child You had a lively frame of Heart when your Child was living but now it is dead through over-much sorrow you have laid your dead Child in your Bosom in the room of that Activity of Soul that before you had towards God and you lay claim to the dead Child this dead Child is my Child Alas this Child that is dead is mine But whose is your Hâ—art and Love God's or your Child's Take heed this be not the true answer during this fit of excessive sorrow it is not all God's â—or all the Child's but you have divided it between both and given half to the Living God and half to the Dead Child That sorrow that causeth you to make this division is excessive sorrow Q. 9. Is not that sorrow for your dead over-much when it all runs out to them that you are not sensible of nor concerned for the Calamities of the Church nor Afflictions and Sufferings of the People of God All your sorrow is contracted and all your Tears run in this one Channel for your dead Father or Mother Husband Wife or Children are not the Concerns of the Church of God greater than your selfish Matters Are not the Sufferings and Calamities Martyrdom by Burning and Wracking and Torturing of many dear to God greater Evils than the Natural death of your Relations Did Christ shed his Blood for his Church and amongst all your Tears for your dead cannot you drop one for the Suffering Church of God Are Men shedding their Blood and for this cannot you shed a Tear when you have so many for one dead Child or Husband or Wife Should not the Concerns of the Glory of God in Publick Affairs lye nearer your Heart than a dead Relation and wound deeper and make you sorrow more You are ready to die with
Tho maâ—y things might be had out of the whole Word of God which would much enlarge this Discourse yet I shall that I may Contract pick up the Apostles Arguments in the Text and following Verses of this Chapter as Alleviations of sorrow in this Case because therein he treats designedly upon this Subject Concerning which it is as if he had said Those that are ignorant of or do not believe the Resurrection of the Dâ—ad and a better Life hereafter have ever sorrowful Thoughts of those that are taken away by Death and mourn for them to excess But I would not have you to cherish and maintain such immoderate sorrows by Ignorance of their Case at present and hereafter The Helps against Immoderate Sorrow for our dead given in this Chapter might be reduced to these Four General Heads of Argument 1. The consideration of the state of the Bodies of departed Believers They are fallen asleep and if they sleep in Jesus as they do v. 14. they shall do well 2. The Knowledge and Belief of the state of the separated Soul Their Souls are with Christ Triumphant in Heaven while their Bodies are sleeping in the Grave and these Souls he will bring back with him when he comes 3. The certainty of the Resurrection of the Dead by the Re-union of the same Souls with the same Bodies and so Christ will bring the entire Man with him at the day of Judgment Thus the Hope in the Text is the Hope of the Resurrection of the Dead and confirmed by the next words 4. The Antecedent Concomitant and consequent Circumstances of the Resurrection That is what shall go before what shall accompany and what shall follow after the raising of the dead and all these are laid down in the following part of this Chapter which is a Spring and Fountain of Living Lively Comfort against excessive sorrow for the dead And methinks I feel it already to begin to work It warms my Heart it doth begin to burn within my Breast My Affections move and it seems to me that my sorrow is turning into joy and my heaviness into rejoicing and am put to a stand whether now I shall call my Tears for my dead Tears of Sorrow or of Joy Have we been sorrowing because she is dead Methinks I cannot but joy that she sleeps in Jesus Have we been mourning because the Body is in the Grave Oh how delightful is it to me to think upon such good grounds that the Precious and Immortal Soul is above in yonder glorious Heaven in the presence of the Father and Redeemer and Comforter and in the innumerable company of Angels and saved Souls perfectly Holy and Happy for ever Have we been so much troubled because the Body did fall at the parting stroke of death methinks my trouble is allayed when I am considering and certainly sure that it shall rise and fall no more Is it an aggravating sorrow to look back upon the Circumstances of the Funeral The Bearers carrying the Corps upon their Shoulders the Mourning Relations following and many sorrowful sympathizing Friends coming after to see the dead Body lodged in its long Home Methinks another Affection is ready to take its turn and to act its part even Delight and Joy when I look forward and foresee the Lord a coming and all his Holy Angels with him calling the dead to rise they hear and come forth from their sleeping places and after Judgment go with their Lord into the highest Heavens in Body and Soul not only to their long but last yea Everlasting Home to Live and Love and Joy in God to all Eternity Oh what difference is there between believing Thoughts of these great and glorious certain things and those that have been daily running to the Grave looking upon a consuming Body What wrong have I done my self in hastening to this part no more and coming to it no sooner Why have we been looking so long in the Grave in which as such we can see nothing but death and cry out as the Men to Elisha concerning their deadly Pottage O thou Man of God there is death in the Pot 2 Kings 4.40 So we there is death in the Grave But when Elisha said Then bring Meal and he cast it into the Pot and he said pour out for the people that they may eat and there was no harm in the Pot. So we should have looked upon the Grave as a place where Christ before had been laid and as a Bed for the Bodies of Believers to sleep in till the Lord shall come and we should have seen no such great harm in the Grave to fill us with excessive sorrow Concerning this representation of death by sleeping four things may be premised as to this manner of Scripture expression 1. Tho Beasts do die yet their death in Scripture that I know of is never called a Sleep for they die to live no more Death puts an end to their Life without a Resurrection to it any more They are only in this World and not to have Life in that World that Men are hastening too They are not capable here of Moral Government of Sin or Grace and so shall not be raised to undergo Eternal Punishments or to receive Eternal Rewards hereafter Tho they do sleep while they live yet their death is not a sleep because they shall die but never wake 2. The death of ungodly Men is sometimes in Scripture called a sleep tho more seldom The worst as well as the best all Mankind in general shall be raised at the last day As death is common to all so shall the Resurrection of the dead also be Tho as there is a difference in their death so shall there also be in their Resurrection but because they shall awake therefore to them death also is a sleep Tho they had better to sleep on than to awake and rise to be tormented Dan. 12.2 And many of them that sleep in the dust of the Earth shall awake some to â—verlasting Life and some to Shame and Everlasting Contempt Expressed by Christ in these words John 5.28 All that are in their Graves shall hear his voice 29. And shall come forth they that have done good unto the Resurrection of Life and they that have done evil to the Resurrection of Damnation 3. It is most frequently used concerning the death of holy and believing persons that they may familiarize it to themselâ—es and get as great a willingness to die as to go to Bed and sleep So God said to Moses he should sleep with his Fathers Deut. 31.16 So of David 2 Sam. 7.12 So Mat. 9.24 When Christ said our Friend Lazarus sleepeth the Disciples thought he spake of his taking natural rest in sleep but after explained his meaning saying he is dead John 11.11 12 13. So Acts 13.36 4. The Expression of sleeping in Jesus is to be understood peculiarly of the death of true Believers that shall be awaked to live with him in Eternal
Glory 1 Thes 4.15 Impenitent Persons go night after night to their Beds and sleep in their Sin and at last die in their Sin But it is peculiar to sanctified Persons to die in the Lord and sleep in Jesus Carnal unbelieving Men might laugh this Doctrine to Scorn as they did Jesus that taught it and say We know that they are dead And death is death whatsoever name you call it by and what Comfort can we have from Words and Names against such a real Evil as death is Luke 8.49 Thy daughter is dead trouble not the Master 52. And all wept and bewailed her but he said weep not she is not dead but sleepeth 53. And they laughed him to scorn knowing that she was dead But since the most Wise and Ever-living God hath called death so often by such a Name there is some supporting Comfort in it against the fears of our oâ—n and excessive sorrow for the death of otâ—ers Let 's search and try 1. Our Dead are sleeping therefore they are at rest from all Troubles from men Those that would not suffer them to rest in Life cannot hinder their rest in Death They that would not let them rest in their Beds in their Houses upon Earth will let them rest in the Bed of the Grave the house appointed for all the living in the Bowels of the Earth or if they should dig up their dry Bones yet they cannot hereby disturb their rest for they are not sensible of any more trouble To go to Bed and sleep and to go to Bed and take our rest are words importing the same thing Isa 57. 1. The Righteous are taken away from the evil to come 2. He shall enter into peace they shall rest in their Beds Job 3.11 Why dyed I not from the Womb 13. For now should I have lain still and been quiâ—t I should have slept then had I been at rest 17. There the wicked cease from troubling and there the weary be at rest 18. There the Prisoners rest together they hear not the voice of the Oppressor 19. The small and great are there and the Servant is free from his Master 2. Death as a Sleep affords us the meditatiâ—n of that freedom that our Dead have from those pains and sense of them which they had before they fell Asleep Then they did complain of pain in one part and sometimes in another and another while that their pain was all over in every part Are not the sound of their words yet in our Ears You do not know what we do feel All their wearisome days are now over and their tedious nights are past and gone there is no more wishing in the Evening O that it were Morning nor in the Morning O that it were Evening There is no more complaining This Night is a long Night because it is a painful Night and this Day is a tedious Day because it is a Day of so great and sharp Affliction Their Life is gone and all their Sickness Pain and bodily Griefs are all gone As when a Person in his Sickness hath something given him to cause him to sleep in his sleep he is not sensible of his Sickness so those that are fallen asleep in that sleep are no more sensible of such Pains that with us they complained of 3. Death as a Sleep yields us these Thoughts that our Dead are freed from all worldly Cares and piercing Sorrows those Cares did bring along with them If Persons have had their Heads full of worldly Thoughts all the Day and have busied them in buying and selling and trading in contriving and projecting for their worldly Interest and Advantage yet when fast asleep in their Beds they mind none of all these things they matter not nor do they regard what others awake are doing nor whither they are going nor the Pleasures they are taking nor the Evil they are suffering nor the Sin they are committing All these things that took up their Thoughts when alive they are freed from when fallen asleep 2 Kings 22.20 Behold I will gather thee to thy Fathers and thou shalt be gathered into thy Grave in peace and thine eyes shall not see all the Evil that I will bring upon this place In this Sleep they are so quiet that they do not so much as dream of any of these things 4. Death as a sleep tho it be a deep sleep helps us to the Thoughts how easie it will be for God to awaken them They sleep so fast that no created power can raise them out of their sleep but it is more easie to Almighty Power to awaken those that are sleeping in their Graves than for you to awaken one that is sleeping in his Bed Lazarus was sleeping in his Grave Christ gave a call spoke the word Lazarus come forth and he that was dead came forth and tho' he was bound hand and foot with Grave-cloaths yet he came forth Joh. 11.43 44. So Christ with a word with a call waked Jairus his Daughter out of the sleep of Death Jesus called saying Maid arise and her Spirit came again and she arose straightway Luke 8.54 55. So also the Son of the Widow of Naim dead and carried out to be Buried Christ did but touch the Bier or Coffin and say Young man I say to thee arise and he that was dead sat up and began to speak Luk 7.14 15. If Death be a sleep this is our Comfort it is easie for God to awaken them 5. Death as a Sleep administers this comfortable matter to our minds that it will not be a perpetual sleep For being but a sleep they can be awakened and because it is a Sleep they shall be awakened for if your Child or Father or Mother or your self at Night go to Bed and sleep do not you reckon and suppose you shall wake in the Morning And you are not troubled to lay your Child asleep when you have hopes and expectation it will wake again When did you go to sleep without waking after sleep This Comfort this representation of Death doth bring unto us that as we saw the time when ours fell asleep so there will be a Day when they shall awake 6. Death as a Sleep suggests to our Thoughts that the Bodies of thâ—se that Sleep in Jesus shall be much altered for the best when they awake out of their sleep If you are weary with Working or Travelling all the Day you go to sleep at Night and in the Morning you say tho you went weary to Bed yet by Sleep you are greatly refreshed and as fit to Work or Travel as you were the Day before When your Child complains he is not well you hasten to have him to Bed and say go to sleep You will be better after you have slept Sure I am these Bodies that are sick and weak and weary when they fall Asleep in Jesus will be wonderfully refreshed and be much better when after this Sleep they shall awake 7. Death as a
and Heaven over against their Grâ—vâ—s and their being with the Lord hereafter over against their present being with the Dead and try if a firm and lively acting Faith will not bring to us greater Joy than Sense now fills us with disquieting Sorrow Or shall we walk by Sense and not by Faith Sense tells us they are in the Grave there our Eyes saw them laid and doth not God tell us they shall be with him and have not we Faith to believe him and if we have cannot we rejoyce in the Hope thereof but sorâ—ow on as if we had no such Hope Do we sit and ponder upon the loathsomness and darkness of the Grave and weep while we ponder that our Dead are there and cannot we sit and meditate upon the holiness happiness and the shining Glory of Heaven and rejoyce that our dead shall live and dwell in that glorious Place hereafter especially when we consider they then shall be with the Lord so as before they never were Admit their Souls are now with Christ yet their Bodies are not It is but one part of them that now is Glorified but the Day is coming and it hasteneth that all Believers and all of every one the Body as well as the Soul shall be with the Lord. Did Paul judge it far better to depart that his Soul may be with Christ tho he left his Body to the Grave and was it the matter of his Desire Phil. 1.23 And shall not we judge it to be best that we and ours shall be with Christ both in Body and Soul and since it shall be so make it matter of our Joy tho for the present it is not so for tho it be to come and so is the Object of Desire and Hope yet Faith should look upon it as sure as if it were present and so make it the ground of our Joy As sure as their Bodies are now in the Grave so sure they shall be with the Lord in Heaven What ails us we cannot rejoyce in the one as sorrow for the other especially when the one is a greater Good than the other is an Evil 3. The Eternity of their abode with the Lord in Body and Soul from the Second Coming of Christ should asswage our Sorrow for the short space of time their Bodies are to remain in the Grave While Children Live we think how long is it since they were born When Persons in a Conjugal Relation continue together sometimes they reckon how many years since they were Married and these are pleasant Thoughts But alas Death comes and makes a Change and snatcheth away the Children and breaks the bond of Marriage and then after a while the Enquiry is How long hath my Child or Husband or Wife been dead and these are sorrowful Thoughts But is there no Remedy no relief against them What if you ask when our Dead that sleep in Jesus shall be raised how long shall they be with the Lord How long inconceivably longer than they shall be in the Grave How long shall they be in the Grave not for ever Blessed be God they shall not be there for ever How long shall they be with the Lord for Ever Eternal thanks unto our God they shall be with him for ever But we sit and think it will be a long a long a very long time that they shall be in their Graves and no man knows how long and for this Sorrow fills our Hearts Doth it think again when they shall be raised How long shall they be with the Lord a long a long a very long not time but Eternity and no Man can conceive how long it will be And when you have thought of as many years as you may imagine they may be in their Graves all of them will not amount to so much as one hour if compared with that Eternity in which they shall be with the Lord. Concerning their being in the Grave you may see an end for an end of their being there will be Concerning their being with the Lord you can conceive no end for there is no end to be conceived for they are to be with him for ever in the Grave for a time and after that with the Lord of Glory in a State of Glory for ever For ever O blessed word shall they come forth of their Graves after a while and be with the Lord for ever O happy happy for ever happy are their saved Souls above that shall live in the presence of their Lord for ever Blessed are the Dead that die in the Lord for when they shall live again which shâ—ll surely be in their Bodies united to their Souls they shall be with the Lord for ever This will be the Joy of their Joy that they shall enjoy their Lord for ever This will be the Life of their Life that with their Lord they shall have everlasting Life This shall be the Crown of their Crown that it shall be Incorruptible as they then shall be both in Body and Soul It will be the Hell of Hell that the Damned must be there for ever It will be the Heaven of Heaven that their being with the Lord therein shall be for ever without this their Joy would not be pure Joy but mixt with fears of losing of it without this their Joy would not be full for the Thoughts it would not always last would diminish their Joy and if diminished it could not be full without this their Joy would not be constant Joy but there would be stops and gaps and intermissions in their Joy and they would have their fits of Sorrow and turns of Grief Now they would rejoyce because they are with the Lord and anon they would grieve because they are not to be with him for ever and so they would be miserably happy and sorrowfully joyfull which is not the happiness and Joy of Heaven which for degrees is full for duration everlasting full because they are with the Lord everlasting because they shall be with the Lord for ever Methinks I hear their triumphant Songs their Holy Admirations O what is the difference betwixt these Bodies now and what once they were Behold the Glory of this Place how far different it is from those Graves where we did lye and are now delivered from We were in our Graves for a time that time is out its past and gone and we are with the Lord for ever we are with the Lord for ever O this is it that is she Crown of all we are with the Lord for ever In this Eternity there is no Nights and Days no Weeks and Months and Years here is no Death and Graves and end for we shall be with the Lord for ever VSE What is the Use of all what should it be but what the Apostle makes of it v. 18. Wherefore comfort one another with these words What words Review them and Recollect what hath been said upon them 1. As sure as Jesus Christ is risen from the dead
sorrow for their Death and can you reconcile those Desires with this Sorrow If you did desire it when God should please to bestow it why do you so sorrow now by death the way of all Believers to it they have obtained what you did desire when without the one they were not to have the other 24 Q. Are not you your self being made men for Heaven near unto that Place and State where you shall sorrow no more neither for any thing concerning your self nor any other while you mourn and say This Husband or Wife Father or Mother that was mine now is no longer mine Seriously meditate and deeply consider and say Yet God is mine and Christ is mine and the Spirit is mine the Promises and Priviledges are mine and Heaven is mine and there I shall shortly be with God and Christ and the Eternal Spirit with Angels and saved Souls above where I shall love God with perfect Love and praise him and my Redeemer and Sanctifier with Eternal Praises and see and know and delight in the Company of those that are gone before for whom I am mourning upon Earth and joy and joyn with them in holy Hallelujahs and triumphant Songs of Praise where all sorrow shall be taken from my Heart and all tears wiped from mine Eyes and I and they shall know sorrow and grief and groans and sighs no no more I stand at the door of Eternity every day waiting looking hoping for Eternal Joys Therefore blessed Lord to all these reasonings of thy Ministers add the effectual working of thy Spirit that I might not sorrow as those that have no Hope Amen THE MOURNERS SOLILOQUY Concerning his Moderating His Sorrow For His DEAD THE Mourners Soliloquy CHAP. XIX Containing the Mourners Soliloquy or Reasoning with himself concerning his Sorrow for his Dead for the moderating of it DEad Alas wo is me my Father Mother dead my Wife or Husband or Child dead can I with Comfort live are not my comfortable days past and gone when he or she is dead and gone Gone no more to return to live with me on Earth Let me look upon the Body in the Coffin before it be lodged in the Grave for after that I shall look upon it no more mine Eyes shall see it no more Look behold it s pale Face its closed Eyes its Jaws tyed and muffled up these Eyes did see me but now Death bath shut them that they cannot This Tongue did use to talk with me to my great delight but now Death hath tied it and my Ears shall hear the sound thereof no more These Feet did often walk with me yea we went to the Ordinances of God together but now Death hath fettered them that they can move no more and must I follow it to the Grave and see it covered with Earth and there leave it and when returned home look for it at my Table but it is not there or in my Chamber but it is not there The Cloaths the Body was often dressed with are there but the Body is not there Now it is so many Weeks since it was buried she is gone but my Sorrow doth remain Remain it comes more and more and doth increase My Soul is grieved my Heart is loaded and my Spirit fails within me the more I muse the more I Mourn the more I think of mine thus captivated by Death and buried out of my sight the more my Sorrow is renewed Alas I can contradict that Old Proverb Out of Sight out of Mind for he or she hath been so long out of my sight but hath not been a a Day or Night out of my mind and the more and longer I remember the more and longer I do sorrow Sayest thou thus O my Soul is it God or a Creature the loss of whom thou mournest for If of God weep on and Sorrow and seek him till thou findest him for he is a living and Gracious God and may be found But if of a Creature forbear thy Tears and moderate thy Sorrow for if thou shouldest weep thy self blind and break thine heart with grief being dead and gone cannot be any more found wherever upon Earth thou seekest for it Wilt thou then examine thy Sorrow whether it be pleasing unto God or whether it be turbulent Passion and meer fruitless Self-vexation whether thou Mournest like a Christian or an Heathen whether thy sorrow be not sinful and excessive and therefore sinful because excessive Dost not thou know hast not thou read and learned that thou shouldst not sorrow as those do that have no Hope are thy tears more boundless than the Ocean for that hath bounds and shall thy Tears have none The Waves thereof go so far and then are stay'd and shall thy Tears continually drop and have no limits set unto them or wilt thou suffer them to run waste and shed enough to wash thy Dead when thou shouldst keep them to pour out before God upon thy bended Knees that by the Blood of Christ thy Sins might be wash'd away Have thy Tears so blear'd thine Eyes or thy Sorrow so disturb'd thy Reason that thou canst not see thy Sorrow to be Excessive Sorrow and thy Grief to pass all bounds of Christian Moderation Measure it by Reason and Religion And then tell me O my Soul if that Sorrow be not Excessive for thy Dead whereby thou hastenest the death of thy own Body and invitest Death to lay it dead Tho God by Death hath taken away the Life of thy Relation yet hath he not commanded thee to use all means lawful and to abstain from all those things amongst which Immoderate grief is one that doth endanger thine own Life and wilt thou thereby become guilty of thy own Death Besides is not that Sorrow too much that must be sorrowed for and those Tears too many that must be wept for and more follow them because they are so many Hast thou Sorrow too much already and must thou still have more because thou hast too much Dost thou not see what straits thou bringest thy self into that while thou dost abound in Sorrow thou wantest Sorrow because as yet thou hast not sorrowed for this too much abundant Sorrow For give me an answer O my Soul if that be not too much abundant Sorrow that doth more hurt than good and would be too much if it were for thy Sin which for Sin tho the greatest Evil would be too much when it doth more hurt than good and doth it not do so when it driveth to despair keeps off the Soul from Christ and from hoping in his Merits or God's Mercy and is it not too much when it is more for thy Dead than for thy Sin for when thy Sorrow should bear its proportion to the Evil thou sorrowest for and Sin is a greater Evil than the Death of thy nearest Relation be thou thy self the Judge if sorrow for the lesser evil be not too much when it is more than that which thou hast for the greatest Evil
be the last that she shall sleep for when awaked she shall sleep no more for ever And yet is this the Body that thou thus bewailest and for this dost thou thus Night after Night break thy sleep and when she sleepeth quietly in the Lord and dreameth not of any of the things that are done in this World canst not thou rest nor sleep in thy Bed without dreaming of her that is so unconcernedly sleeping in the Bed of the Grave Let her quiet and resting Body rebuke O my Soul thy unquiet and restless thoughts Moreover consider O my Soul whose State thou hast more reason to lament and bewail thine own or the state of the Soul of thy Relation that was converted and sanctified that did repent and believe before Death made the separation betwixt thee and her or betwixt her Body and her Soul Dost thou not believe that her Soul being absent from her Body is now present with the Lord and being so is perfectly freed from all sin sorrow Temptation Inclination to sin and from a possibility of sinning and is possessed of all good filled with all Joy perfect in the Knowledge of God and Christ and in Love to and Delight in all the Persons in the to us unsearchable Trinity Whilest thou thy self art grieving groaning under the Burden of remaining sins conflicting with Satan and the Powers of Darkness clogged with the Flesh and ensnared with the Allurements and Affrightments of this evil and deluding World Thou in a state imperfect and Militant the Soul of thy Relation in a state perfect and Triumphant Is it not thy frequent Doubts and Fears whether thou lovest God and whether God loveth thee with a differencing special and peculiar Love Are they not thy often Complaints that thou hast but little Enjoyment of God and Communion with him in his Ordinances and sometimes none at all That thou seekest God but canst not see him and searchest for him but câ—nst not find him That thou goest from Meditation to Prayer from Praying to Hearing from Hearing to attending upon â—im at his Table and after all thy sorroâ—ful saying is I sought him whom my Soul loveth and longeth for I sought him but I could not find him That thy Sin had interposed betwixt thy God and thee and caused him to hide his Face from thee Were not these the Complaints also of thy Relation while with thee and didst not thou endeavour to satisfie her grieved and disconsolate Spirit by reason of Gods frequent withdrawings from her Soul and labouredst to resolve her Doubts to remove her Fears and to answer all the Objections she did make about the Sincerity of her Love to Christ And is her separated saved glorified Soul now above all these Doubts and Fears and Jealousies Is it now above Hope and Desire because possessed of what it hoped for and desired after Is it now perfectly Loving and delightfully Praising of its Lord and Saviour Is it now constantly beholding of Him and rejoycing in Him and can doubt no more and question his Love to it and its Love to Him no more for ever because it feels and is filled with the lively sense of both And dost thou sit here Mourning whilest it is eternally Rejoycing Cease sorrowing for her whose Soul is perfectly happy and triumphant and save thy Tears to bewail thine own Hazards Dangers and Sins in this Imperfect state and to pour them out before God in fervent Prayer that thou when separated from this Body mightest be received into that place of Light and Life and Love into that glorious Kingdom of the Ever-living God and all-sufficient Saviour to which her Soul is gone before and is now singing rejoycing and triumphing in But above all O my Soul why art thou troubled and disquieted most of all for what hath befallen the Body of thy dear Relation Why dost thou sit in thy Chamber where thou sawest her breathe her last Breath and give up the Ghost and â—use how thou sawest her pale and didst handle her cold Face when layd in her Coffin And while thou sittest here thy thoughts so often run unto the Grave and coâ—siderest how the Body is mouldring and consuming and turning into Rottenness and dust And while thou sayâ—st For this here is my sorrow let me ask theâ— in the mean time where is thy Faith Hast thou an Eye to see how the Body lyeth in the Grave and hast thou not another Eye to see how it shall be raised up Canst thou not look beyond the Coffin and the Grave to a joyful glorious Resurrection Wake O my Faith awake that I may firmly and steadfastly believe this great and comfortable Article of the Resurrection to Life Everlasting and joy more that it shall rise again than be cast down because it is cast into the Grave and for a while is lodged there Hast thou not O my Soul solid Foundation for thy Faith in this particular Doth not thy Lord that is infinite in Wisdom know where every one is buried or where the Body doth consume Doth not he know which Bones and Skull and Dust belong to this Body and which to that If this be knowable doth not he know it Or else is not his Knowledge limited and finite Knowledge because not extended to every thing that may be known And hath he not Almighty Power and so can do all acts of Power all things possible to be done Cannot he that made this great World and yonder larger Heavens out of Nothing out of something make these dry Bones to live Cannot he that formed the Body of Man at first of the Dust of the Ground and caused it to live New-make these Bodies tho turned into Dust Or doth this seem incredible to thee that God should raise the Dead Cannot he do what he hath done Did not he raise Lazarus and the Son of the Widow of Naim and Jairus his Daughter and himself when he had layn for a time in the Grave And as he can so hath he not declared that he will How often hath he spoken it How frequently hath he promised it Is not this the Fathers Will that sent his Son that of all that he had given him he should not lose any one but raise them up at the last Day And O my Soul dost thou not believe that the Son hath and will do the will of his Father in every point and particularly in this when he so often hath said he will raise them up at the last Day O be not Faithless but Believing and so cease thy excessive sorrowing Blessed Lord increase my Faith that my immoderate sorrow may decrease I have shewn my Unbelief by my excessive sorrow Now help me Lord to shew my Faith by my abating of my grief for my Dead because tho Dead yet shall certainly Live again Lord confirm my Faith in this That as sure as Christ is risen from the dead so surely shall my dead and all others be also raised because I read in