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upon_o the_o head_n of_o these_o his_o son_n enemy_n and_o so_o consume_v they_o but_o stay_v my_o foelish_a heart_n thou_o know_v not_o what_o spirit_n thou_o be_v of_o this_o debt_n be_v owe_v and_o it_o must_v be_v pay_v god_n require_v so_o much_o and_o it_o must_v be_v give_v or_o thou_o can_v not_o be_v save_v thy_o lord_n do_v know_v this_o well_o enough_o for_o this_o he_o come_v from_o heaven_n and_o commit_v himself_o to_o the_o rage_n of_o man_n he_o know_v he_o must_v endure_v all_o these_o revile_n and_o do_v it_o grieve_v thy_o soul_n to_o see_v he_o thus_o abase_v stay_v but_o a_o while_n and_o thou_o shall_v see_v he_o more_o look_v up_o my_o soul_n come_v tell_v i_o what_o thou_o see_v oh_o i_o can_v sorrow_n tie_v my_o tougue_n i_o can_v speak_v i_o see_v and_o hear_v those_o thing_n that_o i_o want_v a_o power_n to_o utter_v i_o see_v a_o troop_n of_o virgin_n follow_v he_o their_o weep_a eye_n their_o blubber_a lip_n their_o sigh_n and_o throbbing_n speak_v they_o mourner_n i_o see_v my_o lord_n look_v towards_o they_o and_o kind_o chide_v their_o love_a sorrow_n why_o weep_v you_o oh_o you_o daughter_n of_o jerusalem_n weep_v not_o for_o i_o my_o lord_n what_o need_n be_v there_o for_o that_o question_n shall_v not_o they_o weep_v when_o thou_o must_v bleed_v will_v not_o their_o eye_n have_v be_v flint_n if_o that_o then_o they_o shall_v not_o drop_v tear_n for_o thou_o when_o as_o thou_o be_v about_o to_o pour_v out_o thy_o life_n and_o blood_n for_o they_o ah_o can_v they_o choose_v or_o do_v less_o than_o weep_v to_o see_v thy_o innocent_a self_n among_o a_o herd_n of_o tiger_n what_o shall_v
wadsworth_n remain_n be_v a_o collection_n of_o some_o few_o meditation_n with_o respect_n to_o the_o lord_n supper_n three_o pious_a letter_n when_o a_o young_a student_n at_o cambridg_n two_o practical_a sermon_n much_o desire_v by_o the_o hearer_n several_a sacred_a poem_n and_o private_a ejaculation_n by_o that_o late_a eminent_a minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n mr._n thomas_n wadsworth_n with_o a_o preface_n contain_v several_a remarkable_n of_o his_o holy_a life_n and_o death_n from_o his_o own_o notebook_n and_o those_o that_o know_v he_o best_o heb._n 13.7_o remember_v they_o which_o have_v the_o rule_n over_o you_o for_o be_v the_o guide_v to_o you_o who_o have_v speak_v unto_o you_o the_o word_n of_o god_n who_o faith_n follow_v consider_v the_o end_n of_o their_o conversation_n aliud_fw-la est_fw-la locis_fw-la communibus_fw-la laudare_fw-la defunctum_fw-la aliud_fw-la desuncti_fw-la proprias_fw-la narrare_fw-la virtutes_fw-la hieronimâ—s_n in_o vitâ_fw-la hilarionis_fw-la london_n print_v for_o tho._n parkhurst_n at_o the_o bible_n and_o three_o crown_n in_o cheapside_n near_o mercers-chappel_n 1680._o the_o content_n of_o the_o preface_n the_o introduction_n sect._n 1_o his_o birth_n and_o youth_n sect._n 2_o 3._o his_o life_n at_o the_o university_n sect._n 4._o his_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n and_o resolution_n from_o experience_n sect._n 5_o his_o experimental_o difference_v betwixt_o carnal_a and_o spiritual_a love_n and_o joy_n sect._n 6_o 7_o 8_o 9_o his_o experience_n upon_o the_o discovery_n of_o the_o divine_a majesty_n sect._n 10._o his_o check_n to_o the_o lightness_n of_o his_o spirit_n sect._n 11._o observation_n about_o doubt_v and_o examine_v christian_n sect._n 12_o 13._o about_o a_o multitude_n of_o sin_n sect._n 14._o about_o security_n sect._n 15._o mortification_n sect._n 16_o 17._o rise_v of_o pride_n in_o the_o heart_n sect._n 18._o live_v above_o duty_n sect._n 19_o about_o a_o dull_a and_o dead_a state_n sect._n 20._o and_o enjoyment_n sect._n 21._o concern_v self-abasement_n and_o the_o exercise_n of_o humility_n in_o speak_v sect._n 22._o and_o the_o shun_v of_o pride_n sect._n 23._o the_o frame_n of_o his_o spirit_n in_o prayer_n with_o some_o special_a case_n about_o prayer_n sect._n 24_o 25_o 26_o 27_o 28_o 29._o about_o raisedness_n and_o dejection_n remove_v objection_n sect._n 30_o 31._o about_o carnal_a reason_n and_o satan_n suggestion_n sect._n 32._o 33._o of_o god_n love_n in_o outward_a mercy_n and_o wait_a sect._n 34._o of_o not_o meet_v god_n in_o ordinance_n sect._n 35._o of_o mourning_n for_o other_o sin_n and_o pray_v for_o mortification_n of_o a_o particular_a corruption_n sect._n 36._o of_o his_o call_n to_o newington_n sect._n 37_o 38._o his_o observe_v the_o fruit_n of_o his_o ministry_n sect._n 39_o his_o recommend_v catechise_v sect._n 40._o his_o unwearied_a and_o seasonable_a industry_n at_o and_o removal_n from_o newington_n sect._n 41._o his_o lecture_a and_o preach_v in_o london_n and_o ejection_n at_o laurence_n poultney_n sect._n 42._o his_o holy_a prudent_a and_o cheerful_a conversation_n with_o a_o case_n or_o two_o about_o merriness_n and_o tentation_n therein_o sect._n 43_o 44_o 45_o 46_o 47._o of_o raise_v christian_n affection_n sect._n 48._o and_o outward_a mercy_n sect._n 49._o of_o his_o sabbath_n sanctification_n sect._n 50._o of_o his_o affection_n to_o and_o prayer_n for_o his_o relative_n with_o thankfulness_n sect._n 51._o of_o his_o respect_n to_o his_o people_n and_o charity_n sect._n 52._o of_o his_o marriage_n and_o child_n sect._n 53._o of_o his_o sickness_n sect._n 54._o of_o his_o last_o sickness_n sect_n 55_o 56_o 57_o 58_o 59_o his_o death_n sect._n 60._o his_o work_n former_o publish_v sect._n 61._o and_o his_o remain_n with_o the_o conclusion_n sect._n 62._o section_n i._n to_o the_o publication_n of_o these_o remain_v of_o that_o man_n of_o god_n mr._n thomas_n wadsworth_n a_o large_a preface_n of_o his_o holy_a life_n and_o death_n will_v have_v be_v acceptable_a but_o a_o melchior_n adam_n well_o instruct_v with_o material_n can_v ready_o be_v find_v who_o may_v in_o a_o proper_a stile_n give_v he_o his_o due_n yet_o as_o a_o addition_n to_o what_o have_v be_v already_o write_v by_o mr._n bragge_n in_o a_o sermon_n and_o a_o epistle_n to_o it_o upon_o his_o funeral_n by_o mr._n baxter_n and_o mr._n parson_n prefactory_a to_o the_o two_o last_o sermon_n he_o himself_o preach_v to_o his_o people_n it_o may_v not_o be_v amiss_o to_o acquaint_v the_o world_n ii_o that_o he_o be_v bear_v of_o honest_a parent_n decemb_v 15._o 1630_o in_o the_o parish_n of_o saviour_n or_o mary_n overee_v southwark_n but_o it_o seem_v while_o a_o infant_n he_o have_v such_o a_o dangerous_a thrush_n in_o his_o throat_n that_o the_o milk_n take_v into_o his_o mouth_n not_o have_v a_o right_a passage_n come_v out_o at_o his_o nose_n and_o he_o be_v grow_v so_o weak_a within_o the_o mouth_n that_o they_o even_o give_v he_o over_o for_o dead_a yea_o the_o nurse_n have_v he_o on_o her_o knee_n think_v to_o have_v lay_v he_o out_o as_o a_o dead_a corpse_n only_o stay_v till_o after_o dinner_n in_o which_o space_n she_o think_v he_o have_v expire_v with_o a_o groan_n he_o give_v a_o keck_n whereupon_o she_o present_o put_v her_o finger_n into_o his_o throat_n and_o pull_v out_o a_o core_n which_o be_v remove_v open_v a_o free_a passage_n for_o the_o breast-milk_n in_o this_o weakness_n his_o parent_n seek_v god_n earnest_o â—or_a his_o life_n do_v dedicate_v he_o to_o the_o ministry_n if_o capable_a as_o hannah_n do_v her_o samuel_n to_o the_o lord_n when_o his_o mother_n to_o who_o he_o do_v evermore_o show_v himself_o very_o obedient_a and_o of_o who_o tenderness_n he_o will_v speak_v with_o thankfulness_n to_o the_o last_o sometimes_o towards_o her_o latter_a end_n will_v say_v he_o have_v â—ost_o her_o more_a pain_n in_o bear_v and_o nurse_n than_o any_o â—f_n her_o other_o child_n he_o will_v say_v pleasant_o â—et_o far_o from_o any_o conceitedness_n but_o with_o a_o hearty_a acknowledgement_n of_o her_o motherly_a love_n and_o kindâ—ess_n ah_o mother_n when_o you_o bring_v forth_o i_o you_o â—â—ought_v a_o great_a soul_n into_o the_o world_n they_o that_o know_v he_o best_o have_v abundant_a proof_n that_o he_o real_o be_v such_o a_o one_o he_o do_v timely_o show_v himself_o to_o be_v a_o ingenious_a and_o apt_a scholar_n in_o the_o free-school_n of_o that_o place_n of_o his_o nativity_n where_o the_o strict_a and_o skilful_a master_n encourage_v by_o his_o father_n liberality_n find_v he_o every_o way_n ready_a to_o receive_v instruction_n till_o about_o the_o 10_o year_n of_o his_o age_n he_o be_v fit_v for_o academical_a study_n when_o upon_o his_o father_n frequent_a converse_n with_o the_o reverend_n and_o pious_a dr._n samuel_n bolton_n than_o the_o famous_a lecturer_n of_o the_o parish_n and_o the_o worthy_a master_n of_o christ-colledg_n in_o cambridg_n who_o have_v often_o examine_v he_o at_o his_o father_n house_n and_o find_v he_o not_o only_o very_o religious_o dispose_v but_o well_o accomplish_v with_o school-learning_n he_o be_v then_o remove_v to_o that_o college_n under_o the_o tutoridg_n of_o him_z who_o be_v afterward_o dr._n outram_n who_o have_v a_o great_a value_n for_o he_o as_o long_o as_o he_o live_v iii_o before_o he_o go_v to_o the_o university_n he_o show_v himself_o to_o be_v one_o of_o a_o tender_a conscience_n for_o when_o a_o boy_n have_v take_v a_o fair_a tulip_n out_o of_o another_o garden_n and_o give_v it_o to_o his_o father_n who_o sometime_o after_o ask_v he_o where_o he_o have_v it_o upon_o his_o father_n admonition_n and_o his_o own_o acknowledgement_n of_o his_o youthful_a folly_n as_o augustine_n do_v his_o it_o be_v often_o after_o a_o great_a trouble_n to_o his_o spirit_n and_o do_v keep_v he_o humble_a and_o watchful_a so_o early_o do_v he_o begin_v to_o startle_v at_o the_o commit_n of_o the_o least_o sin_n for_o on_o a_o lordsday_n go_v into_o the_o workhouse_n in_o his_o father_n yard_n and_o there_o a_o little_a loitering_n he_o heedless_o clap_v his_o hand_n on_o a_o tenter-hook_n and_o tear_v his_o hand_n much_o whereupon_o he_o resolve_v no_o more_o to_o misspend_v his_o time_n on_o the_o lordsday_n but_o to_o addict_v himself_o whole_o to_o the_o religious_a observance_n of_o it_o which_o resolution_n he_o be_v know_v to_o keep_v strict_o ever_o after_o both_o at_o home_n and_o abroad_o iv_o when_o at_o the_o university_n he_o make_v good_a proficiency_n in_o that_o learning_n which_o may_v make_v he_o most_o instrumental_a for_o the_o win_n of_o soul_n to_o christ_n that_o be_v main_o design_v by_o he_o in_o the_o service_n of_o his_o generation_n in_o order_n to_o which_o we_o find_v this_o young_a student_n early_o associate_a with_o a_o honest_a club_n of_o scholar_n of_o his_o own_o and_o other_o college_n as_o be_v not_o only_o
sentence_n thou_o can_v not_o send_v i_o into_o worse_a than_o flame_n or_o punish_v i_o long_o than_o everlasting_o christ_n answer_v oh_o how_o my_o bowel_n turn_v this_o sinner_n know_v not_o what_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n he_o think_v i_o be_o his_o enemy_n sinner_n shake_v off_o thy_o fear_n and_o wipe_v thy_o eye_n thou_o shall_v not_o die_v the_o sinner_n speak_v again_o oh_o thou_o glorious_a god_n or_o angel_n or_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o call_v thou_o do_v not_o delude_v or_o deride_v a_o poor_a caitiff_a wretch_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o misery_n why_o will_v thou_o raise_v i_o to_o such_o a_o pinnacle_n of_o hope_n to_o cast_v i_o down_o and_o make_v my_o fall_n the_o great_a my_o judge_n have_v pass_v the_o sentence_n i_o must_v die_v and_o who_o can_v reverse_v the_o doom_n ah_o i_o must_v go_v see_v my_o prison-door_n wide_o open_a the_o smoke_n and_o flash_n come_v to_o meet_v my_o despair_a soul_n half_a way_n christ_n speak_v and_o now_o my_o heart_n begin_v to_o break_v my_o love_n can_v keep_v no_o long_o in_o how_o causeless_o do_v this_o wretch_n torment_v his_o heart_n he_o know_v not_o who_o i_o be_o i_o must_v reveal_v myself_o sinner_n i_o love_v thou_o i_o say_v thou_o shall_v not_o die_v come_v feel_v my_o heart_n and_o pulse_n how_o they_o beat_v and_o tell_v how_o strong_a my_o love_n within_o do_v act_v they_o do_v thou_o not_o see_v i_o have_v leave_v my_o throne_n and_o be_o come_v down_o to_o the_o bar_n where_o thou_o stand_v condemn_v but_o why_o do_v thou_o weep_v come_v let_v i_o wipe_v thy_o eye_n and_o bound_v up_o thy_o bleed_a and_o despair_a heart_n i_o tell_v thou_o thou_o shall_v not_o die_v if_o heaven_n will_v have_v blood_n it_o shall_v have_v i_o so_o it_o will_v but_o spare_v thou_o sinner_n if_o thou_o know_v who_o i_o be_o thou_o will_v not_o doubt_v one_o tittle_n i_o tell_v thou_o i_o be_o his_o son_n his_o only_a son_n that_o but_o now_o condemn_v thou_o i_o know_v he_o be_v just_a and_o justice_n must_v be_v satisfy_v but_o do_v not_o thou_o fear_v if_o one_o of_o we_o must_v die_v it_o shall_v be_v i_o i_o will_v pour_v out_o my_o blood_n a_o sacrifice_n for_o sin_n and_o appease_v his_o wrath_n and_o make_v you_o friend_n again_o you_o innumerable_a company_n of_o angel_n yet_o servant_n at_o my_o father_n will_n why_o do_v you_o rejoice_v to_o see_v my_o prisoner_n send_v to_o hell_n this_o curse_a soul_n over_o who_o in_o glory_n you_o do_v now_o triumph_v i_o do_v resolve_v to_o die_v for_o and_o to_o buy_v she_o to_o myself_o a_o spouse_n and_o to_o make_v her_o bless_a with_o yourselves_o and_o give_v she_o a_o princess_n place_n on_o a_o throne_n that_o be_v by_o myself_o sinner_n speak_v be_v this_o a_o dream_n or_o be_o i_o wake_v the_o goodness_n greatness_n glory_n of_o this_o sudden_a unexpected_a bless_a change_n tempt_v i_o to_o doubt_v whether_o it_o be_v true_a or_o whether_o it_o be_v some_o unruly_a fancy_n that_o do_v delude_v this_o wretched_a heart_n of_o i_o what!_o for_o the_o son_n of_o god_n to_o debase_v himself_o so_o low_o as_o to_o take_v my_o nature_n and_o so_o my_o cause_n and_o become_v the_o prisoner_n what!_o and_o though_o he_o know_v he_o shall_v be_v cast_v will_v he_o hear_v the_o sentence_n and_o quiet_o bear_v bolt_n and_o shackle_n and_o chain_n which_o shall_v have_v fetter_v i_o yet_o more_o than_o this_o do_v he_o know_v it_o be_v impossible_a to_o get_v a_o reprieve_n from_o his_o father_n and_o judge_n and_o that_o he_o must_v most_o assure_o drink_v the_o bitter_a dregs_o of_o death_n more_o bitter_a than_o devil_n or_o damn_a soul_n in_o hell_n as_o yet_o ever_o taste_v of_o for_o it_o be_v impossible_a the_o cup_n shall_v pass_v and_o can_v he_o will_v he_o dare_v he_o venture_v but_o stay_v i_o must_v be_v a_o spouse_n to_o be_v exalt_v from_o this_o dunghill_n to_o be_v a_o princess_n to_o the_o son_n and_o heir_n of_o glory_n hold_v hold_v here_o be_v enough_o it_o be_v a_o dream_n a_o idle_a fancy_n of_o a_o distemper_a brain_n i_o shall_v never_o find_v a_o heart_n to_o believe_v one_o syllable_n but_o yet_o methinks_v if_o it_o be_v a_o dream_n it_o be_v a_o golden_a one_o be_v it_o possible_a that_o such_o a_o damn_a wretch_n as_o i_o can_v harbour_v such_o silken_a gild_a thought_n of_o such_o love_n grace_n mercy_n and_o tenderness_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n oh_o my_o heart_n if_o they_o be_v not_o true_a how_o come_v they_o into_o my_o mind_n or_o how_o come_v they_o to_o stay_v or_o can_v they_o if_o but_o mere_a fiction_n make_v such_o a_o change_n in_o my_o heart_n can_v they_o so_o victorious_o conquer_v all_o my_o fear_n silence_v all_o my_o doubt_n allay_v the_o heat_n of_o a_o scorch_a and_o be_v hell_v conscience_n but_o why_o a_o dream_n poor_a wretched_a heart_n do_v thou_o not_o see_v he_o step_v off_o his_o throne_n be_v it_o a_o time_n to_o dream_n or_o sleep_v in_o when_o thou_o be_v before_o the_o judgment-seat_n while_o god_n be_v frown_v and_o the_o devil_n drag_v thou_o to_o and_o fro_o to_o get_v thou_o away_o to_o hell_n oh_o then_o just_o then_o he_o step_v down_o draw_v near_o and_o take_v thou_o by_o the_o hand_n and_o speak_v these_o revive_a word_n to_o thou_o doubt_v this_o and_o doubt_v thy_o judgement_n but_o why_o a_o dream_n i_o be_o not_o now_o in_o hell_n torment_n whither_o i_o be_v just_a now_o sentence_v my_o heart_n be_v now_o at_o ease_n and_o quiet_a sure_o something_o must_v be_v the_o reason_n why_o the_o devil_n that_o but_o now_o have_v hold_v of_o i_o have_v leave_v i_o where_o be_v the_o conscience_n that_o but_o now_o be_v burn_v in_o i_o but_o oh_o can_v the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n put_v i_o out_o of_o doubt_n do_v not_o his_o word_n that_o be_v so_o kind_a his_o tender_a deal_n with_o i_o do_v not_o his_o stoop_n to_o i_o take_v i_o by_o the_o arm_n and_o the_o gentle_a lift_v that_o he_o give_v to_o my_o droop_a soul_n speak_v he_o present_v oh_o do_v not_o my_o head_n eye_n arm_n heart_n breast_n and_o the_o ease_n of_o every_o joint_n and_o limb_n about_o i_o witness_v the_o same_o a_o way_n my_o unbelieving_a heart_n what_o a_o stir_n be_v here_o to_o make_v thou_o believe_v a_o thing_n so_o evident_a doubt_v my_o mind_n and_o free_o doubt_v â—_z give_v thou_o leave_v when_o thou_o have_v any_o occasion_n or_o reason_n for_o it_o but_o why_o shall_v i_o doubt_v that_o which_o be_v past_o all_o doubt_n may_v i_o not_o believe_v my_o sense_n i_o both_o see_v and_o hear_v he_o speak_v the_o word_n or_o shall_v i_o misdoubt_v his_o faithfulness_n i_o know_v he_o be_v the_o son_n of_o god_n he_o can_v lie_v but_o be_v it_o true_a yet_o my_o god_n i_o pray_v thou_o be_v not_o angry_a with_o my_o scrupulous_a heart_n thou_o see_v in_o tear_n i_o make_v the_o doubt_n let_v it_o be_v a_o argument_n to_o i_o of_o sincerity_n i_o do_v not_o ask_v that_o question_n as_o one_o that_o will_v be_v fain_o persuade_v its_o true_a can_v thou_o think_v my_o lord_n that_o i_o will_v not_o be_v 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love-flame_n those_o oh_o those_o be_v name_n make_v melody_n viii_o but_o see_v what_o be_v it_o there_o stands_z a_o tablet_z all_z of_o gold_n spread_v with_o a_o cloth_n of_o thread_n as_o fine_a as_o light_v oh_o its_o pity_n it_o shall_v be_v foul_v what_o dainty_a fare_n be_v that_o how_o rich_o be_v it_o presume_v oh_o it_o smell_n and_o it_o look_v as_o dress_v of_o fire_n of_o love_n meat_n that_o be_v eat_v yet_o never_o consume_v may_v i_o taste_v may_v i_o taste_v yea_o &_o welcome_a &_o welcome_a thy_o lord_n do_v it_o prepare_v that_o thou_o may_v have_v a_o share_n now_o he_o have_v get_v thou_o above_o he_o will_v feast_v thou_o with_o love_n thou_o must_v now_o forget_v all_o grief_n and_o care_n ix_o here_o be_v honey-comb_n indeed_o sweet_n that_o will_v never_o annoy_v i_o scarce_o can_v think_v that_o heaven_n itself_o can_v yield_v such_o delight_n that_o can_v not_o cloy_v this_o wine_n i_o have_v but_o sip_v it_o will_v make_v a_o sick_a soul_n well_o one_o 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