vain and useless complaints of our misery or the dirt of sinful and wicked complaints of the dealings of the Lord with us The rod of affliction goes round and visits all sorts of persons without difference It is upon the Tabernacles of the just and of the unjust the righteous and the wicked both are mourning under the rod. The godly are not so to be minded as that the other be wholly neglected they have as strong and tender though not as regular affections to their Relations and must not be wholly suffered to sink under their unrelieved burthens Here therefore I must have respect to two sorts of persons whom I find in tears upon the same account I mean the loss of their dear Relations the Regenerate and the unregenerate I am a debtor to both and shall endeavour their support and assistance for even the unregenerate call for our help and pitty and must not be neglected and wholly slighted in their afflictions We must pitty them that can't pitty themselves The Law of God commands us to help a beast if fallen under its burden How much more a man sinking under a load of sorrow I confess uses of comfort to the unregenerate are not ordinarily in use among us and it may seem strange whence any thing of support should be drawn for them that have no special interest in Christ or the promises I confess also I find my self under great disadvantages for this work I cannot offer them those reviving cordials that are contained in Christ and the covenant for Gods afflicted people but yet such is the goodness of God even to his enemies that they are not left wholly without supports or means to allay their Sorrow If this therefore be thy case who readest these lines afflicted and unsanctified mourning bitterly for thy dead friends and more cause to mourn for thy dead soul Christless and graceless as well as childless or friendless no comfort in hand nor yet in hope full of trouble and no vent by prayer or faith to ease thy heart Poor creature thy case is sad but yet do not wholly sink and suffer thy self to be swallowed up of grief thou hast laid thy dear one in the grave yet throw not thy self head-long into the grave after him that will not be the way to remedy thy misery but sit down a while and ponder these three things First That of all persons in the World thou hast most reason to be tender over thy life and health and careful to preserve it for if thy troubles destroy thee thou art eternally lost undone for ever Worldly sorrow saith the Apostle works death And if it works thy death it works thy damnation also for Hell follows that pale horse Revel 6. 8. If a believer dyes there 's no danger of Hell to him the second death hath no power over him but wo to thee if it overtake thee in thy sin beware therefore what thou dost against thy health and life Don't put the candle of sorrow too near that thread by which thou hangest over the mouth of Hell O its far better to be childless or friendless on earth than hopeless and remediless in hell Secondly Own and admire the bounty and goodness of God manifested to thee in this affliction that when death came into thy family to smite and carry off one it had not fallen to thy lot to be the person thy Husband Wife or Child is taken and thou art left Had thy name been in the Commission thou hadst been now past hope O the sparing mercy of God! the wonderful long suffering of God towards thee Possibly that poor creature that is gone never provoked God as thou hast done thy poor child never abused mercies neglected calls treasur'd up the thousandth part of that guilt thou hast done So that thou mightest well immagine it should rather have cut thee down that hadst so provoked God than thy poor little one But oh the admirable patience of God! Oh the riches of long suffering Thou art only warned not smitten by it Is there nothing in this worth thy thankful acknowledgement Is it not better to be in black for another on earth than in the blackness of darkness for ever Is it not easier to go to the grave with thy dead friend and weep there than to go to hell among the damned where there is weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth Thirdly This affliction for which thou mournest may be the greatest mercy to thee that ever yet befel thee in this world God hath now made thy heart soft by trouble shewed thee the vanity of this World and what a poor trifle it is which thou madest thy happiness There is now a dark cloud spread over all thy worldly comforts Now O now if the Lord would but strike in with this affliction and by it open thine eyes to see thy deplorable state and take off thy heart for ever from the vain world which thou now seest hath nothing in it and cause thee to chuse Christ the only abiding good for thy portion If now thy affliction may but bring thy sin to remembrance and thy dead friend may but bring thee to a sense of thy dead soul which is as cold to God and spiritual things as his body is to thee and more loathsome in his eyes than that corps is or shortly will be to the eyes of men Then this day is certainly a day of the greatest mercy that ever yet thou sawest O happy death that shall prove life to thy soul. Why this is sometimes the way of the Lord with men Job 36. 8 9. If they be bound in fetters and helden in cords of affliction then he sheweth them their work and their transgression that they have exceeded he openeth also their ear to discipline and commandeth them that they return from iniquity O Consider poor pensive creature that which stole away thy heart from God is now gone That which eat up thy time and thoughts that there was no room for God soul or eternity in them is gone All the vain expectations thou raisedst up to thy self from that poor creature which now lyes in the dust are in one day perished O what an advantage hast thou now for heaven beyond what ever thou yet hadst If God will but bless this rod thou wilt have cause to keep many a thanksgiving day for this day I pray let these three things be pondred by you I can bestow no more comforts upon you your condition bars the best comforts from you they belong to the people of God and you have yet nothing to do with them I shall therefore turn from you to them and present some choicer comforts to them to whom they properly belong which may be of great use to you in reading if it be but to convince you of the blessed priviledge and state of the people of God in the greatest plunges of troubles in this world and what advantages their interest in Christ gives
by struggling under it Oh that your hearts might be in a like frame with his that said Lord thou shalt beat and I will bear It was a good observation that one made Anima sedendo quiescendo fit sapiens The Soul grows wise by sitting still and quiet under the rod. And the Apostle calls those excellent fruits which the Saints gather from their sanctified afflictions The peaceable fruits of Righteousness Heb. 12. 11 Lastly My hearts desire and prayer to God for you is that you may die daily to all visible enjoyments and by these frequent converses with death in your family you may be prepared for your own change and dissolution when it shall come O Friends How many graves have you and I seen opened for our dear Relations How oft hath death come up into our windows and summoned the delight of our eyes It is but a little while and we shall go to them we and they are distinguished but by short intervals Transivere patres simul hinc transibimus omnes Our dear Parents are gone our lovely and desireable children are gone our bosom Relations that were as our own souls are gone the greatest part of us is gone And do not all these warning-knocks at our dores acquaint us that we must prepare to follow shortly after them O that by these things our own death might be both more easie and more familiar to us the oftner it visits us the better we should be acquainted with it and the more of our beloved Relations it removes before us the less of either snare and intanglement remains for us when our turn comes My dear Friends my flesh and my blood I beseech you for Religion sake for your own sake and for my sake whose Comfort is in great part bound up in your prosperity and welfare that you read frequently ponder seriously and apply believingly these Scripture-consolations and directions which in some haste I have gathered for your use and the God of all consolation be with you I am Your most endeared Brother JOHN FLAVEL Luke 7. 13. And when the Lord saw her he had Compassion on her and said to her Weep not TO be above the stroke of passions is a condition equal to Angels to be in a State of Sorrow without the sense of sorrow is a disposition beneath Beasts but duly to regulate our Sorrows and bound our Passions under the rod is the Wisdom duty and excellency of a Christian. He that is without natural affections is deservedly ranked among the worst of Heathens and he that is able rightly to manage them deserves to be numbred with the best of Christians Though when we are Sanctified we put on the Divine Nature yet till we are glorified we put not off the infirmities of our humane Nature Whilest we are within the reach of troubles we cannot be without the danger nor ought to be without the fear of sin and it is as hard for us to escape sin being in adversity as becalming in prosperity How apt we are to transgress the bounds both of Reason and Religion under a sharp affliction appears as in most mens experience so in this Womans example to whose excessive Sorrow Christ puts a stop in the Text He saw her and had Compassion on her and said to her Weep not The Lamentations and waylings of this distressed mother moved the tender compassions of the Lord in beholding it and stirred up more pitty in his heart for her than could be in her heart for her dear and only Son In the words we are to consider both the Condition of the woman and the Counsel of Christ with respect unto it First The condition of this Woman which appears to be very dolorous and distressed her groans and tears moved and melted the very heart of Christ to hear and behold them When he saw her he had Compassion on her How sad an hour it was with her when Christ met her appears by what is so distinctly remark't by the Evangelist in ver 12. where it is said Now when they came nigh to the Gate of the City behold there was a dead man carried out the only Son of his Mother and she was a Widdow and much people of the City was with her In this one Verse divers heart piercing circumstances of this affliction are noted First It was the death of a Son To bury a child any child must needs rend the heart of a tender Parent for what are children but the parent multiplied a child is a part of the parent made up in another skin But to lay a Son in the grave A Son which continues the name and supports the family this was ever accounted a very great affliction Secondly This Son was not carried from the Cradle to the Coffin nor stript out of its Swathing to be wrapt in its Winding cloaths Had he dyed in infancy before he had engaged affection or raised expectation the affliction had not been so pungent and cutting as now it was Death smote this Son in the flower and Prime of his time He was a man saith the Evangelist ver 12. a young man as Christ calls him ver 14. he was now arrived at that age which made him capable of yeilding his Mother all that comfort which had been the expectation and hope of many years and the reward and fruit of many cares and Labours Yet then when the endearments were greatest and her hopes highest even in the flower of his age he is cut off Thus Basil bewayled the death of his Son Filius mihi erat adolescens solus vitaesuccessor solatium senectae gloria generis flos aequalium fulcrum domu saetatem gratiosissimam agebat hic raptus periit qui paulo ante jucundam vocem edebat jucundissimum spectaculum parentis oculis erat I once had a Son who was a young man my only successor the solace of my age the glory of his kind the prop of my family arrived to the endearing age then was he snatcht from me by death whose lovely voice but a little before I heard who lately was a pleasant spectacle to his Parent Reader if this have been thine own condition as it hath been his that writes it I need say no more to convince thee that it was a sorrowful State indeed Christ met this tender Mother in Thirdly And which is yet more he was not only a Son but an only Son so you find in ver 12. He was the only Son of his Mother One in whom all her hopes and Comforts of that kind were bound up For Omnis in Ascanio stat chari cura Parentis All her affections were contracted into this one object If we have never so many children we know not which of them to spare If they stand like Olive plants about our Table it would grieve us to see the least twigg amongst them broken down But surely the death of one out of many is much more tolerable than of all
be His joy and Crown of rejoycing in the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ at his coming 1 Thes. 2. 19 20. which must needs imply his distinct knowledge of them in that day which must be many hundred years after death had separated them from each other Whether this knowledge shall be by the glorified eyes discerning any lineaments or property of individuation remaining upon the glorified bodies of our Relations or whether it shall be by immediate revelation as Adam knew his wife or as Peter James and John knew Moses and Elias in the Mount as it is difficult to determine so it is needless to puzel our selves about it It is the concurrent judgement of sound Divines and it wants not countenance from Scripture and reason that such a knowledge of them shall be in Heaven and then the sadness of this parting will be abundantly recompensed by the joy of that meeting Especially considering Thirdly That at your next meeting they shall be unspeakably more desirable sweet and excellent than ever they were in this world They had a desirableness in them here but yet they were not altogether lovely and in every respect desirable they had their infirmities both natural and moral but all these are removed in Heaven and for ever done away No natural infirmities hang about glorified bodies nor sinful ones upon perfected spirits of the just Oh what lovely creatures will they appear to you then when that which is sown now in dishonour shall be raised in honour 1 Cor. 15. And then to Crown all Fourthly You shall have an everlasting enjoyment of them in Heaven never to part again The children of the Resurrection can dye no more Luk. 20. 36. You shall kiss their pale lips and cold cheeks no more you shall never fear another parting pull but be together with the Lord for ever 1 Thes. 4. 17. And this the Apostle thought an effectual Cordial in this case when he exhorted the Thessalonians to comfort one another with these words 10. Consid. The present felicity into which all that dye in Christ are presently admitted should abundantly comfort Christians over the death of such as either carried a lively hope out of the world with them or have left good grounds of such an hope behind them Some there are that carried a lively hope to heaven with them who could evidence to themselves and friends their interest in Christ and in the Covenant Yea though they had dyed in silence yet their conversations would speak for them and the tenour of their lives leave no ground of doubting touching their death others dying in their infancy or youth though they carried not such an actual hope with them yet they have left good grounds of hope behind them Parents now ponder these grounds you have prayed for them you have many times wrestled with the Lord on their behalf you have taken hold of Gods Covenant for them as well as for your selves and dedicated them to the Lord and they have not by any actions of theirs destroyed those grounds of your hope but that you may with much probability conclude they are with God Why if the case be so what abundant reason have you to be quiet and well satisfied with what God hath done Can they be better than where they are Had you better provisions and entertainments for them here than their heavenly Father hath above There is no Christian parent in the world but would rejoyce to see his child out-strip and get before him in grace that he may be more eminent in parts and service than ever he was And what reason can be given why we should not as much rejoyce to see our children get before us in glory as in grace They are gotten to heaven a few years before you and is that matter of mourning Would not your child if he were not ignorant of you say as Christ did to his friends a little before his death when he saw them cast down at the thoughts of parting Joh. 14. 28. If ye loved me ye would rejoyce because I go unto the Father q. d. Do you valew your own sensible comfort from my bodily presence with you before my glory and advancement in heaven Is this love to me Or is it not rather self-love So would your departed friend say to you you have professed much love all along to me my happiness seemed to be very dear to you How comes it to pass then that you mourn so exceedingly now This is rather the effect of a fond and fleshly than of rational and spiritual love If ye loved me with a pure spiritual love ye would rejoyce that I am gone to my Father It 's infinitely better for me to be here than with you on earth under sin and sorrow Weep not for me but for your selves Alas though you want your friends company he wants not yours Your care was to provide for this child but Jesus Christ hath provided infinitely better for it than you could you intended an Estate but he a Kingdom for it you thought upon such or such a match but Christ hath forbid all others and married your child to himself Would you imagine an higher preferment for the fruit of your bodies A King from heaven hath sent for your friend and do you grudge at the journey O think and think again what an honour it is to you that Christ hath taken them out of your bosom and laid them in his own stript them out of those garments you provided and cloathed them in white robes washed in the blood of the Lamb. Let not your hearts be troubled rather rejoyce exceedingly that God made you instruments to replenish heaven and bring forth an heir for the Kingdom of God Your child is now glorifying God in an higher way than you can and what though you have lost its bodily presence for a time yet I hope you don't reckon that to be your loss which turns to Gods greater glory When Jacob heard his Joseph was Lord of Egypt he rather wisht himself with Joseph than his Joseph with him in wants and straights So should it be with you You are yet rowling and tossing upon a tempestuous Sea but your friend is gone into the quiet harbour desire rather to be there then that he were at Sea again with you II. Consid. Consider how vain a thing all your trouble and self-vexation is it no way betters your case nor eases your burthen As a Bullock by wrestling and sweating in the furrow may make his yoak to be more heavy gall his neck and spend his strength the sooner but no way helps himself by that Why thus stands the case with thee if thou be as a Bullock unaccustomed to the yoak What Christ saith of caring we may say of grieving Mat. 6. 27. Which of you by taking thought can add one Cubit to his stature Cares may break our sleep yea break our hearts but they cannot add to our stature either in a natural or
a shameful thing for a Christian to be reproved for such an uncomely expression by an Heathen It 's enough to make us blush to read what an Heathen said in this case Never say thou hast lost any thing saith Epictetus but that it 's returned Is thy Son dead he is only restored Is thy inheritance taken from thee It is also returned And a while after he adds 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 i. e. Let every thing be as the Gods will have it 2. Answer It 's no fit expression to say you have lost all in one except that one be Christ and he being once yours can never be lost Doubtless your meaning is you have lost all your comfort of that kind And what though you have are there not multitudes of comforts yet remaining of a higher kind and more precious and durable nature If you have no more of that sort yet so long as you have better what cause have you to rejoyce 3. Answer You too much imitate the way of the world in this complaint they know not how to repair the loss of one comfort but by another of the same nature which must be put in its room to fill up the vacancy But have you no other way to supply your loss Have you not a God to fill the place of any creature that leaves you Surely this would better become a man whose portion is in this life than one that professes God is his all in all 5. Plea O but my only One is not only taken away but there remains no expectation or probability of any more I must now look upon my self as a dry tree never to take comfort in children any more which is a cutting thought 1. Answer Suppose what you say that you have no hope or expectation of another child remaining to you yet if you have a hope of better things than children you have no reason to be cast down bless God for higher and better hopes than these in Isa. 56. 4 5. the Lord comforts them that had no expectation of sons or daughters with this That he will give unto them in his house and within his walls a place and a name better than of Sons or of Daughters even an everlasting name that shall not be cut off There are better mercies and higher hopes than these though your hopes of children or from children should be cut off yet if your eternal hopes be secure and such as shall not make you ashamed you should not be so cast down 2. Answer If God will not have your comfort to lye any more in children then resolve to place them in himself and you shall never find cause to complain of loss by such an exchange You will find that in God which is not to be had in the creature one hours communion with him shall give you that which the happiest Parent never yet had from his children you will exchange brass for gold perishing vanity for solid and abiding excellency 6. Plea But the suddenness of the stroke is amazing God gave little or no warning to prepare for this tryal Death executed its commission as soon as it open'd it My dear Husband Wife or Child was snatcht unexpectedly out of my arms by a surprizing stroke and this makes my stroke heavier than my complaint 1. Answer That the death of your Relation was so sudden and surprizing was much your own fault who ought to have lived in the daily sense of its vanity and expectation of your separation from it you knew it to be a dying comfort in its best estate and it is no such wonderful thing to see that dead which we knew before to be dying Besides you heard the changes ringing round about you in other families you frequently saw other Parents Husbands and Wives carrying forth their dead And what were all these but warnings given you to prepare for the like tryals Surely then it was your own security and regardlesness that made this affliction so surprizing to you and who is to be blamed for that you know 2. Answer There is much difference betwixt the sudden death of infants and that of grown persons The latter may have much work to do many sins actually to repent of and many evidences of their interest in Christ to examine and clear in order to their more comfortable death and so sudden death may be deprecated by them But the case of Infants who exercise not their reason is far different they have no such work to do but are purely passive all that is done in order to their salvation is done by God immediately upon them and so it comes all to one whether their death be more quick or more slow 3. Answer You complain of the suddenness of the stroke but another will be ready to say had my friend died in that manner my affliction had been nothing to what it now is I have seen many deaths contrived into one I saw the gradual approaches of it upon my dear Relation who felt every tread of death as it came on towards him who often cryed with Job Chap. 3. 20. Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery and life to the bitter in soul which long for death but it cometh it not and dig for it more than for hid treasures which rejoyce exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave That which you reckon the sting of your affliction others would have reckoned a favour and priviledge How many tender Parents and other Relations who loved their friends as dearly as your selves have been forced to their knees upon no other errand but this to beg the Lord to hasten the separation and put an end to that sorrow which to them was much greater than the sorrow for the dead 7. Plea You press me to moderation of sorrows and I know I ought to shew it but you don't know how the case stands with me there 's a sting in this affliction that none feels but my self And oh how intollerable is it now I neglected proper means in season to preserve life or miscarried in the use of means I now see such a neglect or such a mistake about the means as I cannot but judge greatly to contribute to that sad loss which I now too late lament O my negligence O my rashness and inconsiderateness How doth my Conscience now smite me for my folly and by this aggravate my burthen beyond what is usually felt by others Had I seasonably apply'd my self to the use of proper means and kept strictly to such courses and counsels as those that are able and skilful might have prescribed I might have now had a living Husband Wife or Child whereas I am now not only bereaved but am apt to think I have bereaved my self of them Surely there is no sorrow like unto my sorrow 1. Answer Though it be an evil to neglect and slight the means ordained by God for recovery of health yet it 's no less evil to ascribe