Indeed I have known some young handsom Widows who have lov'd their own Reputation and their Husbands Memory so much as to continue some years in a strict deep Mourning as well in their Life as Dress And I have also known other Widows of the wild brisk London brood that have not so much Complemented their Husbands death as to hold out one year a Widows Life tho contrary to the Custom of the Country and the common Rules of decency and civility And as shewing so little a concern for a Husband is very unbecoming and highly immodest not to speak worse so on the other hand overmuch grief and despair are both imprudent and irreligious But I need not speak much of this overabundant Mourning for a Husband since 't is a distemper of mind very few Widows of our age are inclin'd too and therefore not in danger of being infected with for most Widows can tell us that they are so well read in the brave Roman Story who though they had no other bounds to their aspiring hopes than the Conquest of the whole world yet they still placed their glory and praise as much in suffering well as in doing so saying as they ought not to be overmuch exalted by prosperity so they ought not to be too much depressed or cast down by adversity but to observe the Golden Rule of Mediocrity in both Cases and therefore 't is not ill Wife like but brave Roman like to suffer all losses with Courage and Patience And 't is from these Considerations that many of our fine young gay brisk Widows say They esteem more the Phylosophers Wit than his Wisdom who being in great affliction and weeping most bitterly for the death of his Wife one of his friends told him his crying could do neither him nor her any good Therefore said the Philosopher I Cry But this is a kind of doleful Logick that suits ill with the sprightly gaiety of our fine young Widows and therefore it must be needless as well as troublesom to mind them of it it being a very unmodish doctrin to preach to such young Widows that because their Husbands are out of the world therefore they ought to live as if they were not in it and bury themselves alive in a strict solitary retirement which they will tell you savours more of great folly than true wisdom since no Woman by her Matrimonial Vow is engaged to Love her Husband longer than till death them do part and indeed as Wives now go I think 't is very extraordinary to meet one that truly loves her Husband half so long In a word she that gives her Husband a more lasting Love than she promised is generously kind but she that pays him as much as she ingaged for is truly just Next 't is most certain that all extreams are bad and therefore Widows ought to avoid them on both sides either by shewing too little a Concern or too violent a Grief for their Husbands death I know I need not travel your thoughts so far as the East-Indies to shew you the barbarous examples of Womens love to their dead Husbands bodies by sacrificing themselves to the Devil by burning themselves alive soon after their Husbands death we have examples enough in the History of our Neighbouring Princes of their Wives barbarous Cruelty committed against their own Lives for their Husbands loss of theirs but then do not mistake me so as to think I believe there are any such kind of fond foolish Wives in our age as Adymond Queen of Sweedland who when she heard her Husband was kill'd by the Danes said she would soon follow him and presently stabb'd her self I might name you many more of this bloody Nature but surely such kind of Tragical examples are to be look'd upon but as the vile and wicked effects of madness or a devilish despair and not at all the motions of a pious vertuous love since good Wives may shew their kindness without shedding their blood and may mourn heartily without dying Cruelly for such unnatural deaths utterly destroy that great Christian vertue of well regulating their passions And certainly no Widow stands more engaged to her Husbands memory either by the Laws of outward Civility and good manners or by the inward effects of true love and real esteem than to observe those kinds of measures and degrees of mourning for their Husbands which are usual according to the rules of custom and decency which is to live a strict religious and unmarried life for some considerable time or longer as some Women do and among those many who continue so to the end of their days and so are Widows indeed according to S. Pauls phrase and so deserve his character of honour And among those I cannot omit a just commendation of the three most Excellent vertuous Ladies and kind Sisters who live together near London I need not name them because I am sure there are not three Widow Sisters of their high Quality great Vertue and clear Reputation that live together in all England for which as they have the just admiration and praises of all true Lovers of Vertue so I wish all Widows would strive to imitate their religious example that so like them they might enjoy comfort of true devotion and felicity upon earth as an earnest of more blessed comforts and happiness they do expect in the other World And who by leading such a constant religious and unmarried Life the world must plainly see that such Widows have no particular fondness for any Man in the world since their dear Husbands are out of it and that they do still shew a constant affection real esteem and memory of their Husbands vertues and reputation and by a particular kindness continued to all their Husbands Relations and Friends as much as if they had been now actually living and could be made sensible of the effects of their good or ill nature towards them I say such a vertuous and discreet carriage in Widows is a most clear demonstration that Loves do not expire with their Husbands Lives and certainly such an affection must be more real and less by assed as to all appearances than the love of any living Wife can possible be since that may only look counterfeit and be disguised by wearing a Mask of self-interest or design rather than of true affection or value and may be reckoned on the account of living in good esteem or reputation as to the world or be counterfeited for an outward seeming kindness to her Husband tho she has no real inward one in order to live at peace and quiet at home both for her Childrens good and for her own and families ease But a Widow that continues as I have said consonant kindness to her Husbands memory and Relations and lives in the state of a private and religious widowhood such a one can expect no return or hope for any praise or advantage but from the just commendation of her vertue while she lives or
before Company and act like a Miss in private for many handsom Women that are of a good coming and melting nature assoon as you are a little advanced into their acquaintance and favour yet seem very coy and severe at first entrance into it imitating the Sea which tho never so quiet and calm in the main yet still casteth out rough waves near the shore And now whatsoever men may think of me I am sure my meaning is truly friendly in advising them that if they are in the happy state of freedom not to yoak their Liberty in Marriage for meer Beauty or bare Mony but chiefly for vertue and goodness for if you but consider seriously you will find certainly that the misery of an ill Wife is no new affliction but as very an old one as Marriage and almost Nature it self witness Adam who lived in a continued innocency and felicity whilst he remained in the Paradice of a single Life but he was no sooner Married to Eve but he was cast out of both And 't is most certain let your Love range over Court Town and Country nay ramble over the whole World you can never choose a Wife that is not her Daughter and common experience tells us that there are few Daughters that do not favour something of their Mothers humor as well as nature and therefore 't will be highly prudential in this sad and weighty affair to consider that Marrying a bad Wife as 't is more than an even Lay one does has something in it of the nature of that sin for which men can have no repentance or pardon no more than they can have any ease or relief for it while they live for one may as well pretend to free Deaths Prisoners from the Grave as unchain the Married during their Lives no Skill of the greatest Artist nor yet Argument of the most subtile Socinian can ever evade or loose a Wedding Knot it being of an extraordinary lasting Union quite differing from all others for Men can unbind all others whilst they live but a Marriage Vow can only be unbound by death it self And now I have given you this part of my Opinion as to meer Mony or beauty Marriages which many Husbands may truly call in the Apostles phrase tho spoke in another and more divine sense That Labor of Love I hope 't will not appear an extraordinary fault in saying it S. Paul had foreseen the Romantic Gallantry and extravagant folly I think I might have said madness of many Marriages made now adays which some of our vain inconsiderate Ladies are drawn into by the common report that such a Man has a great Estate which suits well with her eager desire to keep a Coach and six Horses which she vainly fancies will not only carry her thorow all the miseries of Marriage but into the Towring pastime of the Park without the least concern of getting a good prudent sober religious Husband many of them not valuing or at least not considering other than the keeping a splendid Retinue and glittering train of Liveries than wearing rich Clothes adorn'd with Gold and costly Pearl when there are a hundred more weighty concerns that are more needful Appendencies to compleat a happy Marriage Really this is one of the chief Causes why such Marriage Love decays and wears out with their Wedding Coaches and is as often out of order as they 't were well if they still could be as easily mended which none ought to wonder at it being but natural for effects to follow their Causes Among all the great and extravagant follies that are used in the inequalities of Marriages in our days there 's none appears to me more irrational and unnatural than an old Mans Marrying a young Woman which in my Opinion seems a Match fitter to make sport for others than to raise joy to themselves for an old Man is to his young Wifes Bed but like juice of Orange to her Stomack it may create in her an Appetite but of it self can never satisfie it such an old Man being not only unsuitable undecent but unwholesom too being to her like a March Sun which all the great Physitians concur in opinion to be very unhealthful as having only strength to exhale Humors but wants force to dissolve them so that such a Match is so great a folly as I shall only here need name one shameful misery that commonly attends it and indeed I need name I think no other either to fortifie my opinion against it or to set out ones misery for doing it which is this That an old Man that Marries a handsom young Woman tho his Wife may be so vertuous as not to Cuckold him yet the world is so wicked in its reports to Censure him so as it will always which minds me of a story of a Gentleman whom both his Wife and Neighbours agreed to proclaim the truth of his being a Cuckold and she dying he Married an old ugly rigid Puritan that was so odiously deformed as he was satisfied she wanted Power and the world Charity enough to Cuckold him for 't was impossible there could be a spark of Love or liking in the Case and he did believe that this Wife would not only be a perfect Antidote against horns for the time to come but a Remedy for what was past but one of his Neighbours being of a contrary belief call'd him Cuckold upon which he repaired to his learned Counsellor in the Law to know if his present Wife being honest though his former was not so whether he was still a Cuckold or not to which his learned Lawyer gravely answered him That tho he was not one in pure strictness of Law yet being once so the Custom of the Country was so civil as to give him the Title during his Life And now I have given you my opinion and told you the usual fate that attends old Mens Marrying young Women next comes that of young Womens Marrying old Men and tho they appear both alike foolish yet there 's great difference in their folly for as by this sort of Matches old Men glut themselves with much more of the Woman than their age wants so young Wives if vertuous stint themselves with much less of the Husband than their Youth needs and besides tho Marriage has the power tounite two Bodies into one Flesh yet it wants that of uniting the two Fleshes into one temper or Constitution for a young Wife that is in the Spring of her age is like the Sun in the Spring of the Year it not only gets the ascendant every day higher and higher but grows every day more strong and vigorous but an old Husband is like Autumn whose strength goes only downward Therefore I fancy an old Man Marrying a handsom young Lady has nothing to plead but Guilty but a young Lady for Marrying an old Man may have some colourable excuse to moderate the folly and lessen the shame of such an unequal Match for perhaps
indeed the more certain comfort and assurance of her eternal happiness when she comes to die But mortifying Discourses of this nature I am sure must be far from making any agreeable musick to the fine young Widows but it may be sound harsh and unpleasant as well as useless and unliking many of the fine gay young Widows making the day of their Husbands death the joyful Birthday of their own freedom And there are few of these brisk witty sort of Widows that are not so great Philosophers in the Politicks of Marriage and so perfectly read in all parts of Scripture tending to that point as to be wisely able to extract out of it the vertue of Patience and to possess it in so high a degree and great measure as to be able to raise to themselves satisfactory Arguments of all sizes degrees and qualities whatsoever to arm themselves against the loss of a Husband of any kind be he good or bad poor or rich so as to render his death at least easie if not pleasing by arguing and reasoning with themselves after this manner If my Husband was good and vertuous and made a holy end suitable to his religious life sure I ought not to mourn for it but rejoyce at it that he is gone to Heaven and that I have in a manner half my self there before-hand and therefore it must argue want of Charity kindness and good nature to lament and mourn for his happiness in living and dying so well If my Husband was wicked lewd and prophane I have a double reason to rejoyce for his death first that the world is rid of so bad a Man and I of so ill a Husband and am no more oblig'd to lie every night with so much wickedness in my bosom and that we are now no more one flesh who were so far from being of one mind and humor and I have also this second means of extracting this heavenly advantage by it that having experimented the slavish misery of serving the Creature I am now or at least ought to be the more ready and willing to dedicate all my remnant of Life only to the service of my Creator whose service is still perfect freedom and everlasting felicity If my Husband was poor and needy I have reason to be glad he is intirely delivered from the great misery of want and that his poverty is dead and buried with him for none ever feels want in the Grave But if my Husband died Rich I have great reason to rejoyce that he has left me so and has given me by his death what he denied me all his life the incontroulable Treasure of his Wealth and that I have now the range of the whole Kingdom to ramble over and spend it after what kind of manner and with what sort of Company as I fancy most and love best and by being a Widow I am become the perfect Empress of my own Will instead of being confin'd at home a Subject to my Husbands and sure none can relish with more gusto the ease and liberty and the many pleasures of freedom than she that 's newly deliver'd from the bondage of a Marriage confinement and therefore what Seneca said of Vertue that there 's no Passion or Affliction in the World that Vertue has not a Remedy for The same may be said in reference to most young Widows love to their Husbands let their passionate kindness for them be seemingly never so great whilst they live yet they will be sure to find Remedies for their overmuch mourning for their death And therefore I shall advise Husbands never to Antidate their trouble by fearing that their death will produce a long sadness in their Wives at the common rate Marriage-Love now goes there 's no great fear of it since in most Wives their good Jointure-Rents outweigh their Love-sighs or at least Counterpoise all their formal Mourning for there is really so little pure Love in many of our Marriages now adays as Husband and Wifes Love is but of the same nature of that of great Sovereign Princes whose Love is but meer Interest and a Husbands death to many of our Wives is become as Repentance for Sin which cannot come so soon or late but it still brings Comfort with it And now lest you may take my speaking against Widows Marrying to be but a kind of raillying Discourse fit only to entertain but not to convince and that my reasons against Widows Marrying are but meer Romantick pleasant to be read but needless to be believ'd I will wave my own weak reasonings and quote you some Scripture ones that seem not to favour Widows Marrying but rather the contrary to continue as they are and for their encouragement to it propounds to them great advantages by it which are these The first is out of the Old Testament Lev. 22.13 If a Priests Daughter be Married she must not eat of the Offerings of holy Things but if the Priests Daughter be a Widow she may eat as in her Youth that is as if she had been never Married and was a Maid which was a priviledge Women had by living Widows under the Mosaick Law and which would not have it seems been granted had she been made unclean by a second Marriage And S. Paul speaking of the happiness and advantages Virgins have over Married Women gives this as one of his principal reasons that they live free and exempt from the cares of observing and pleasing their Husbands and being in subjection to them And sure Widows enjoy at least as much if not more on this account than Virgins can for doubtless it must be a far greater degree of pleasure and satisfaction to those that have cast off the Yoke of an ill Marriage than it can be to those that never wore it as a sick Man that recovers his health must needs enjoy more pleasure by it than another can in his health that was never sick and really in my opinion the Penance of an ill Marriage ought to be the best Remedy to make a Widow well savour the happiness of an unmarried life and the most perswasive Argument to make her continue so I shall further observe that the same Apostle in his first Epistle to Timothy chap. 5. vers 5. Seems to divide Widows into two sorts the good and the bad the good he Characterises with the Title of being Widows indeed and gives us this sign to know them by She that trusteth in God and continueth in Prayers and Supplications night and day This is the holy Mark you may know a godly Widow by and this is the Widow that the Apostle calls a Widow indeed and orders Timothy to pay them great honour as such I am sure these are not at all a kin to the race of proud brisk ranting Widows that are in and about London who abstain not from Marriage upon the account of any retired religious Inclinations or upon any want of desires to Marry for most of these Widows desire
little tho they are giving us never so much but commands us not to rail and jeer at them that jeer and rail at us but to pray for our Enemies and to do good to those that spitefully use us God having instituted it as a Fundamental Law to Mankind not to do our Neighbours any harm in Body Goods or good Name but to do them all the good we can in every of them In short this is the sad and unequal deportment of most vain handsom Ladies both as to themselves and others which is to be angry with their Neighbours without a Cause and never to be angry at themselves tho they have one many of the vain Ladies esteeming it a sufficient ground of quarrel and anger at other young Ladies for being more handsom than they but forget at the same time to be offended at themselves for being less pious than them in not loving their Neighbours as themselves for if they did they would never offer what they would not take But so vain and wicked is our Age as common Custom and little Consideration makes many of the vain witty Ladies to fancy that Romantick Lies and detracting Jeers are but Wind which if granted yet it cannot be denied but the often repetition may unite them into a storm of sins for does not experience teach us that light flakes of Snow that singly scarce weigh any thing being but a kind of half congealed Atoms yet do often by their long united Confluence swell into an ability of destroying Houses and Families in spite of their greatest resistance Solomon says Prov. 16.27 That an ungodly Mans lips is as a burning fire and in the very next Verse seems to explain what he means by a burning fire a froward Man soweth strife and a whisperer separateth chief Friends as I said before how common is it among the vain Ladies of the times to lessen their handsom Neighbours beauty meerly on design that by Eclipsing it they might make their own shine out the Clearer and often to raise scandalous Reports to blemish her Reputation among her Friends and Lovers it being indeed too common a practice among them to whisper about ill Reports of their Neighbours as told them abroad from others when really they were Coin'd at home by themselves O vain Ladies if you will not for your own and shame sake at least for vertue and honour sake abandon raising all wicked scandals on your Neighbours and banish from your practice all impertinent senseless strifes all censuring twatles and sharp offensive scoffs which tho a mode vice is so great a Crime as it truly requires a strict Repentance and a high Reparation for the offence to the Persons so injured and that such scandalous Jeerers would for the future as David says Keep a Bridle in their Mouth that they offend not with their Tongue and so new mould and well regulate it as instead of using it as an Engine to rack their Neighbours Reputation with they may henceforward employ and consecrate it to the setting out and stretching forth their vertue and good name and let all your strife be in a pious Emulation of vertue and holiness and in religious endeavors who shall excel and take place in the true and constant practice of them in their lives and conversation for in them consists not only the greatest wisdom highest wit but also the best breeding and most sublime and splended beauty being the everlasting one of holiness besides that of pure honour indeed for Gospel Heraldry must ever be the very best for the greatest Monarch in this World must live a sinner but the meanest Woman in it by her living a godly and vertuous life may die a Saint and therefore it must certainly be much better to live well and so die happily than to be born great left rich or look handsom for the beauty of a fair delicate Complexion may be a Womans own purchase not Natures gift and her high Title and great Estate may be left her by her friends without being in the least merited by her self but to be highly pious and truly vertuous must most certainly be the true and lawful Issue of a Womans own Religious inclinations Therefore I shall conclude this Discourse with this undeniable Truth That true goodness is true greatness and that Lady will be the greatest in the other World that lives the best in this THE TWELFTH DISCOURSE Of French Fashions and Dresses now used in England by the modish Ladies and young Sparks DIvines tell us that perfect life may be seen in short measures Painters assure us that exact beauty may be drawn in small proportions and experience shews us that an infinity of words is made of a few letters and 't is approv'd by the great Wits and Poets of the Stage that a short Prologue may suit well with a long Play and since I do not here pretend nor indeed so much as ambition to keep company with their great Wit I hope they will admit me to follow their short measures and by their example justifie this my small discourse from appearing very unsuitable to this large Theme Solomon in his Character of a Covetous Person says He is one whom God hath given riches and honour to so that he wanteth nothing of all that he desires but God giveth him not the power to eat thereof which is an evil Disease because such a Man wanteth even what he hath what can such a miserable be call'd better than a sad wretch that makes himself a voluntary Slave to labour in the Mines of his own wealth and Vassal-like only to enjoy the drudgery part for his own share making his wealth a burden without reaping any true pleasure or advantage by it so that such a Man tho' he be never so rich must die in debt to himself for he strips himself of necessaries during his own life to make his Children a Wardrobe after his death I am sure the prodigality of our London Gallants is after a quite different Manner for so they can but make a Wardrobe for themselves and Misses during their own lives many of them care not tho' they leave their Children in a condition to want necessaries after their death which too many of them can justifie by woful experience several of their Fathers Estates that did belong to them as their Birth-right by their Parents luxury pride and folly have been made a sacrifice to the extravagant expences and vain profuseness of their Mistrisses pride and their own sottishnefs as that they have left nothing to their Heirs of Inheritance but the wind as Solomon expresses it Prov. 11.29 The certain loss of their fathers Estate and the uncertain getting another for themselves if they can I have read of a Philosopher that was perswaded by his friends to leave his retirement for a little time to see a fine Shop plentifully stor'd with all manner of rich things and fine knacks and being asked what he thought of all
those rare things I am thinking said he what a World of things are here I do not want for what 's more than we use is more than we need I am confident if one of our fine London Ladies had been shewn that sight and asked that question her answer had been what a World of things I want that are not here which much justifies a Writers saying that the ancient Latins called Womens Wardrobe Mundus a World yet I find in the Map of Womens ornamental Dresses reckoned by the Prophet Isaiah the sum total of them there named to be but twenty one which clearly shews the vast difference between the twenty one years of Men and the twenty one Dresses of Women for by the Law of our Kingdoms all Mens years under one and twenty are not allow'd to reach discretion but our Prophet seems here to say that by the Law of God all Womens Dresses that amount to much more that pass beyond twenty one must exceed all discretion for certainly they must be too many for Women to wear whom God declares too many for him to like And tho without any dispute 't is a sin to doubt that those ornamental Dresses which the Creator thinks too many no Woman Creature but ought to esteem more than enough yet so extravagant and phantastical are many of our fine Ladies and Gallants as they are so far from esteeming that Number sufficient as they send almost every week to Paris for such supplies of new fashion Dresses as one might as soon Climb up to the Top of all Numbers as to hope to reckon the numberless variety of Womens Dresses there belonging much more Rigging to set out a young Lady than a Man of War so hard 't is to cast up the variety of parts as now adays belong to compleat a great Modish Ladies Dress and Equipage And therefore I fancy an old Philosopher gave both a good Reason and true Character of the fashion of rich Dresses That 't was the deadly catching Disease of Women and the foolish passion of men Indeed I find no reason to believe any of these kind of Ladies are knowing in Philosophy because they cannot be lovers of Wisdom that are haters of Discretion which makes a main part of it But I have a great deal of reason to believe that they are knowing in Satans Arithmatick and too well understand sinful Subtraction and vain Multiplication since we find so many of them can Subtract the Ten Commandments to the scarce keeping of one and multiply the twenty one ornamental Dresses to the using of hundreds And the worst of it is that not one of these twenty one Dresses are a kin to those S. Peter advised the Women of his time to wear which was not putting on Gold or curling Hair or what is Corruptible but the Ornaments of a meek and quièt Spirit 1 Pet. 3.3 4. which exactly suits the true beauty of Religion which the Apostle says is of great price in the sight of God for that will render Women of so pious a Temper as tho the youthful gaiety of their human Nature may make them think of the vain dresses of the times yet their sanctified minds will never let them forget to be true followers of the state of Eternity Indeed 't is a hard measuring Cast whether their variety of vain extravagant Dresses deserves more Mens sober pity or contempt most I am sure are fitter for either than my description yet I must be Charitable to them tho they are far from being so to themselves as to wish that these our fine young modish Ladies and their Gallants would keep more Commandments and use fewer Dresses that they might thereby lessen their own particular vanities and moderate the general English out-cry against French fashions which many think have not only over-run but near destroyed all our noble ancient great way of Living and grave kinds of sober Dresses Sure if our fine young Ladies and great Modists would but a little seriously reflect of what most of their fine Clothes are made they would not be so proud to glory in what they really ought to be asham'd off for the fine Silks we wear are but the workings of poor little Worms and our finest Cloth is made of the Wooll of Sheep so that our covering was but that of Beasts till our pride and vanity robb'd them of it And indeed our great adored Mistris Mony which all of all sorts receive with so great joy and entertain with so high delight as the only true happy and undecaying Mistris in this World for all Love her passionatly at once and what 's yet stranger than all both Sexes are still constant in their eager love and great fondness of her nay Solomon had so great an esteem and value for Money as he said it answered all things yet if we truly look into its Extraction we shall find it as very mean as that of our Clothes for as Seneca well observes That Gold and Silver were still mixt and never kept better Company than Earth and Dust till avarice and ambition raised and parted them and so they became our Masters as well as Mistrisses O how strangely is Apparel Metamorphosed We read in Genesis that it was first used to hide our Shame but now 't is worn to shew our Pride and God knows if we truly consider we are very far from having any reason to boast of our Apparel since 't is but the cover of Shame and Sin and therefore we ought to wear it but as deep mourning for the great loss of our dear friend Innocency Nor can any deny but that Mourning is a Garment fitter according to the strictest niceties of our very present Modes to denote true sadness than set out vain glory to manifest grief than express joy yet so evil is our present Age as many of the wicked brood of elder Brothers who as one said pray for their Fathers lives but not their living plainly shew at their Fathers death in what a manner they are concern'd for his loss not theirs by their chearful Countenance and Gay Lives which clearly Proclaim that they Mourned rather because their Fathers lived so long than died so soon and so make their long funeral Cloaks which usually weigh heavier on their Backs than the cause of them on their Hearts rather a Habit of great Joy than true Mourning But real Mourning hath nothing to do with our French Dresses therefore this discourse shall have no more to do with it and I will now return to my Subject and mind you that the French have brought into England so many strange Fashions as 't is to be feared our young fry of Nobility and Gentry will esteem piety and vertue as things quite out of fashion and use and indeed their Lives cannot be more extravagant and vain than their Apparel if I can properly say they have any left Certainly if Sir John Suckling had lived to these times he might well have added to
Enemies and most distant Inhabitants of the World to agree in the bands of unity and friendship Praise is the greatest of all Levellers for it brings the highest and lowest degrees of Men to an equality for the greatest Monarch in the World and the meanest Subject in his Station are alike as to their desires of Praise tho they vastly differ in the manner and degrees of aspiring to it Praise is as a Sum writ in Figures 't is every Nations Language and is and will be every Countries ambition And 't is well worth observation that this thing called Praise is so light airy and volatile as tho few are such Fools to hope for a Livelihood solely from it yet many are so mad as to expose their Lives meerly for it Really the fine young Ladies need but open their Eyes and they cannot but behold their partiality in distributing of their Praises to others and in receiving others praises to themselves for if one of the Ladies is Mistris of any one quality that they know is truly esteemable they believe all the World looks on it but then oversees all their vices that are apparently faulty so very wicked many young Women are as to be more apt and ready to see and blame their own faults in others than to consider or mend them in themselves And the like measures they usually observe as to the beauties or defects of their bodies if they have any part that is very handsom they fancy all that look on them fix their eyes on it but if their Nose or Eyes be ugly they think none takes notice of them but I desire the Lady that pretends to praises after this rate to oblige me or rather themselves so much as seriously to consider this very plain question If you should see a fine young Gentleman of a fam'd vertuous Life and most excellently well bred and highly renown'd for his true humility and great Charity in a word that was a Person indued with all the excellencies both of body and mind that can render a Man compleatly perfect and admirable only that he wanted an Eye pray ask your self if you should not be more ready to observe and blame the blemish of that one Eye than to praise any of all his Excellencies I am confident you cannot deny but you should and sure such a blind kind of imputation in you is as bad as the want of an Eye in him for perhaps he lost his Eye by a fit of sickness as many do in the Small Pox which is now his great trouble but never was at all his own fault and therefore we ought rather to pity that misfortune than jeer at that defect Or suppose he met that loss in his Infancy and was in a manner born so might you not then as wisely and reasonably despise the two grand Seasons of the Year the Summer for being too hot and the Winter too cold when they are not too immoderate but you too foolish for esteeming them so There is no Womans beauty under the Sun that is so intirely perfect as to be without some Fault for then she must be more than Woman nay the very glorious Sun it self is not without its Eclipses yet sure none can be so very foolish as not to admire and praise its splendour and brightness though 't is sometimes obscured with a Cloud Nor can you propose to your self that 't is a think fitting or reasonable to despise and railly any man because he cannot work Miracles and perform impossibilities by raising the dead to life for 't would be as ridiculous in any one to hope to restore a lost Eye by wishing for it as you to change the Seasons of the Year by your blaming of them Therefore let me advise you instead of raillying at what cannot be help'd in others strive to mend those Faults which may be yet cured in your self which can never be well done till you still behold the defects of others with a sad troubled Eye which you cannot forbear doing if you observe as you ought Gods Command of loving your Neighbour as your self for his afflictions must be then yours as well as yours are now your own And his blemishes or faults would be but so many Memorandums of your own frail defects and so must render you more fit and better disposed to support those of others and rather make it your business to be concern'd for them than your pastime to jeer at them In a word the young Lady that enjoys that share of beauty which perhaps her Neighbour is troubled for the want of let it not render her proud that she is more celebrated than another but rather let her express her humility and make it the great motive of her praise to God that he has been so liberal to her in this perfection But to return to my design'd Subject Praises that are not stampt with true vertue and great merit are but meer Air all false Tongues can flatteringly give them but 't is only your own vertues that can justly merit them 'T is with Praises as with Faults they that charge you with those you are free from do you no real hurt and those that present you with praises you no way deserve do you no real good therefore to apply to your self the right use of both instead of being angry at others for accusing you of some vices you do not act be angry with your self for acting the many you do which is the true way of having Praises and deserving them too Praise is not only the dearly beloved Mistris of Christendom but also of Turky for 't was Praise that was the octasion of making the grand Vizier Mustapha lose so many Men before Vienna for his Story tells us that he did not attempt that Siege so much to serve his Master as to Court his Mistris more out of design to gain her than out of hopes to take it but Mustapha was as much mistaken in his measures of Conquering his Mistrisses heart as in those of taking Vienna for by destroying her Husbands life he totally destroyed her Love and so made his Mistris to revenge her Husbands death to beg the Grand Seignior to take away Mustapha's Life which he did and by it she shew'd her kindness to her Husband and the Grand Seignior his Justice to her 'T is desire of praise and ambition that makes the French King imploy such vast Sums of Mony and Armies of Soldiers to work about his Palace of Versaillies which is rather a Prodigy of Riches than a Miracle of Nature fitter to be wondred at for the vast expences laid out on it than to be praised for any agreableness about it except the Gardens and Water-works which indeed excel all either of Rome or Florence and consequently the whole World but for the House it self I could observe nothing in it extraordinary except the rich Gildings both within and without and therefore as to my own opinion of the Place I think there
say in general that some are so eager in gazing at it others so over earnest in their seeking it as really most oversee the right way to it which is by true Piety constant Charity and a daily practice of Vertue and Godliness in all their actions And no wonder that such as will not take these blessed Guides should miserably miss their way to it and be sadly defeated in their hopes of it And now having done with my Discourse of Praise give me leave to change the Scene and to pass by the uncertainty of your meeting it tho to reflect on the certainty of deaths meeting you and the terrors that then appear at the end of a vain wicked life and to beg the vain young Ladies Company for a little time that I might lead their thoughts into the sad and dismal Regions of Mortality that they may now consider it to prevent it hereafter from surprizing them and that they may carry their thoughts to the Grave before their friends carry their Bodies The Seasons of our Lives resemble exactly those of the Year the Summer of our Life swallows up the Spring of our Youth and the Autumn of our Age makes us to decline as the Sun does daily of its vigorous heat and influence till all the fair days and various productions of natures beauty at last yeild to old Age Winter as their Grave for as the Apostle says 'T is appointed for every Man once to die and one day is still the death of the other and tho many things may keep back the thoughts of deaths coming yet nothing can retard the time of his approach And now I must humbly beg our vain modish Ladies pardon if I here a little mind them of the sad concluding Scene of their Life and in how miserable a condition some of them must necessarily be in when they come to die and have wasted all their Life in Vanity and Sin little considering Reputation and less fearing Scandal little valuing Conscience and less esteeming Eternity It has often come into my mind that the sad end of such vain Womens Lives is like the last Scene of their Loves to their Gallants which is just as an Ague turned upside down the cold fit after the hot for when the fiery passions of youthful Love are changed through their Inconstancy or worn out by Age or wasted by Sickness for you know that Loves-vanity is but of a short date it either vanishes in the act and is nipped in its gay and vigorous blossom like the tender-leav'd Plants by a cold Northern-wind or else grows wrinkled and impotent like crooked and deform'd shrubs for want of fap and moisture and so grows loathsom and deformed as the grim Jaws of Death that will too at last come with a dreadful stroak to level all our fair Cedars to the ground and make your beauty Ladies to consume away like a Moth fretting a Garment every Woman is therefore but vanity and when you are thus brought to your Death-beds of pain and languishing O then Consider what a sad condition you must needs be in when you will find all your fond beauty and vanity going off the Stage when your life is just expiring when the scorching thoughts of your past vain life come to inflame your mind more fiercely than the burning Feaver can your body and that the remembrance of your past extravagant pride and vanity will torment your troubled Conscience more than ever before they pleased your sensual appetite and that the shivering fit of guilt not only seizes your heart but pierceth your very soul with sad and sober thoughts of your past sins and the strict account that you must soon give of them and of the terrible punishments that you must justly suffer for them when perhaps you cannot comfort your afflicted Conscience with the assurance of having so much as performed in your whole life one pious act or charitable deed when you had both time and means to have performed thousands and so as too many of you do lose the blessings of the other World meerly for slighting Gods mercies in this And farther 't will be well worth the consideration of our vain Ladies that when they lie a dying the sins of their life will flie about their troubled minds as naturally as sparks do about fire and will lighten them to a clear sight of their pride and vanity and their greatest trouble when they are leaving this World is what will become of them when they are out of it and truly it will not be without great cause since their Consciences will then assure them that their Bodily pain in this Life will be but the Prologue or first step to their Souls eternal misery in the next Whereas a pious young Lady who with holy David makes a covenant with her Eyes that they should not behold vanity but observe Gods commandments as her chief study and delight by truly living in his fear she will certainly die in his favour and will find at her death that her good Conscience will be her real friend and true comforter and furnish her with a chearful readiness to submit her will to Gods which will never fail to protect her against all those spiritual conflicts and temptations of Conscience which still rack and torture ill Womens minds when they come to die for tho God casts her on her Bed of sickness and pain yet he will be sure to lift her up with the arms of mercy and bless her with the assurance of a perfect state of Bliss after her painful life is ended for tho Death be the wages of Sin yet a Pious death is but the passage to a Heavenly Life And a Religious vertuous Woman at her death will as certainly enter into a state of eternal Felicity as an impious vain and wicked one will into that of deserved misery Solomon says That the fear of God is not only the beginning of wisdom but the end of it for it teacheth you to regulate your desires and purifie your actions as it will make you live well in order to die so So that indeed our good actions concur in their influence towards the happiness of our souls as the Sun does in motion to the Dial the Dial is not the true cause of the Suns motion to it yet by the Suns shining on the Dial you may truly Judge of the true motion of the Sun But leaving aside that dispute whether good works can only merit Heaven or not as the Papists teach I am sure living a pious vertuous life in the faith of the holy Jesus will certainly carry you there this all Ladies know but few will practise or so much as think of I mean as you ought for you usually defer all thoughts of the other World till you are just parting out of this when alas the time present is only yours for that past is no more and that to come is not yet so that you do but live between them both
the present being the only time you can properly call yours for God well knowing what great Prodigals you are of it is so providently merciful as to trust you only with a Minute at a Time for as he gives you one so he still takes away the other as a Lesson of instruction not to rely on any time but the present and to perform all your Christian duties in it as the only time appointed you by God for it And Ladies if you will but employ this present time as you ought you will certainly find time enough in it to enjoy both the delights of this World and to secure you the felicities of the next By this all our vain Ladies may easily know and joyfully conclude that there needs no great difficulty in obtaining Heaven since it only requires as I have told you a strict pious and vertuous life to compass it which may easily be done if you will but spend half so much time in serving your God as you daily wast in looking on your Glass in praying for your Soul as in setting out your Face which must certainly nay perhaps suddenly stink rot and be eaten up by nasty Worms And really supposing there was no such place of Bliss as Heaven for the Godly nor yet of Torment as Hell for the wicked yet a pious vertuous life cannot but be more healthful for the body and more satisfactory to the mind than excess pride and vanity can be to either Next 't is worth your consideration to think how little true content most of you can find in this World and how little time 't is you can enjoy that little you do desire for such considerations cannot but render you somewhat sensible of your great and extravagant folly in all your ludicrous sports and pastimes unskilfully gaming away your souls so as in a manner to set Eternity against a Moment I mean the Momentary pleasures of this life which cannot last before the joys of Heaven which are everlasting and sure there can be nothing more foolish than to rely on the duration of your abode on Earth as any solid and lasting possession there being nothing more frail and tottering than the Basis your life stands on for tho you are never so healthful yet you cannot but find in your self some marks and symptoms of Mortality which may serve as Advertisements of the instability of this your earthly being which is subject to a thousand Diseases and a torrent of Accidents especially in you fine young Ladies whose bodies are so tenderly built and nicely composed as the leaving off a Hood or wanting of a Skarf the least crum of Bread that sticks in your Throats or the smallest stop in the course of your Blood I had almost said or motion of your Tongues puts the whole Oâ—â—onomy of your body in disorder if not utter ruin witness as an instance of this accidental mortality Pope Adrian who as story says was choaked with a Flie nay your very food the support and maintainet of your life ought to be a Memorandum of your Mortality since you cannot live without it and if sleep be the Image of death you are by the very necessities of your nature to die every night during the few days you live But whether you live long or die early you must certainly Die and you are in this as well as in all things else to submit your will to Gods and to bend your greatest endeavors and fix your strongest resolutions in an intire obedince to it which if you truly and heartily do you must learn the great vertue and Christian perfection of self-denial and despise all those worldly flatteries and enjoyments mortifie all your excess of vanity and extravagant pleasures that you may become truly amiable pure and holy in the sight of God when you live in compliance to his holy Laws and submit in all things to his good will and pleasure who is all love and beauty it self in the highest measure and perfection and therefore the least spot or impurity in your lives is a direct violence and contradiction to the most excellent nature and being of an infinitely pure and holy God And now before I quite finish this Discourse let me beg one of you Ladies to suppose your ' self to be in the actual possession of all the worldly pleasures you can fancy that you enjoy as great honours as your ambition can aspire unto and as much Beauty and Riches as your vain and Covetous humor can thirst after and as many rarities as your appetite can wish for and that your Gallant was as kind handsom and constant as you could wish In a word that you thought him as beautiful as you think your self pray do but now consider what all these will amount to at the hour of death and in order to it reflect a little seriously what a weak Basis your life stands on for according to the common Law of the Land a Life is valued but at seven Years purchase and many times by the course of Nature a Life does not last half so long Next if you will but condescend so far to mortifie your self as to go and visit one of these Lovers of vanity and railliers of Religion one of these coynesses of folly and despisers of vertue lying sick on her Death-bed past all hopes of recovery and do but observe how her Words and Looks are changed and indeed the whole Scene of her Life her Countenance being all shadow'd over with the pale and dismal Colours of Mortality instead of her gay Vermillion paint for all beauty and worldly delights vanish and leave you with your health being like a Sun Dial only useful whilst the Sun shines on it then you shall find the but naming her rich Diamond Pendants and fine Pearl Necklace her Embroidered Gowns and Costly Points will prove troublesom to her and the sight or smell of her late beloved Dainties will then loath her Stomatch nay a visit of her dear Gallant whom she was so fond of and delighted in will be odious to her sight as well as the thoughts of having too much lov'd him will be grievous to her mind Then her Bottles of White-washes or Cosmeticks will be thrown out and filled with showers of penitent Tears for having used them Then her Boxes of Peeter and Patches and all her Ornamental knacks and dresses she was wont every day to wast so much time about and to take so great pastime in to adorn and set out her beauty will only serve to disquiet her thoughts and the Praises of her beauty will be but so many disturbances in her Sickness and she will be then as much troubled to hear them as she was formerly delighted to receive them and proud in the vain thoughts of deserving them In short on her Death bed all her late dearly beloved Vanities will at that time appear her most afflicting Enemies and she will then loudly declare that nothing but a religious Life can
among many of the fine Ladies so richly gilt finely painted and splendedly set out as they are so far from appearing deformed as they seem beautiful and taking to most I mean the inconsidering young Men of the Town Really the Air of London is so infected with Pride Vanity and Idleness that 't is hard for one of you young Ladies to appear in young Mens Company but you must have your Ears furr'd with Oaths and Profaneness or else your person Complemented with vain Romantick Courtship which is not exactly applied and fitted for any one Woman but for all handsom Women in general like false flattering Looking Glasses which Complements not only one but every one that looks on them not staying for a great beauty but still flattering the first comer But Piety and Vertue is still like a pure wholesom Air a comfort to all and an Infection to none and is so far from dislodging or overcasting the lightsomness of any lawful pleasures as it clears and dissipates any dark Clouds of fears that may hang over them for 't is most certain Piety and Beauty Recreation and Devotion may live peaceably together and yield a mutual aid and comfort to one another Indeed if you Ladies would but use to mix Piety with your pastimes you would soon come to make a pastime of Piety and then instead of dividing the hours for vain London pleasures you would make them so many Memorandums of the eflux of time to put you in mind of the duties of Mortality and of the hourly advances you make towards it which requires hourly preparations for it for the same hours serve as well to tell you of your approaches to Death as to divide your pleasures in Life as the same Figures in your Watch serve to tell the hours of the night as well as those of the day Then Ladies you will find that time laid out in Prayer and Devotion is not spending but gaining time and if you will but seriously reflect and heartily practise this great Truth you will soon find that Piety is as to advancing of worldly delights and pastimes but as Ballast to a Ship which does not hinder but only regulate its motion not flackning but steddying its Sayling A fine Lady whose mind is only fraighted with the Airy Cargo of pride and vanity can never steer steddy in her heavenly Course but is still tossed from one side of folly to another extremity of vanity for the want of the true blessed Ballast of godliness which will Calm and dispossess your mind of all modish vanities and irregularities and will allay all kinds of immoderate heats raised by the Feaverish distempers of Womanish Passions and will fix your affection on what is immovable and perpetual and will soon cause you to abandon the vain empty undurable pastimes of London for the true endless felicity of Heaven and this is a Heaven upon Earth To love God and keep his Commandments for then you will truly love Vertue and constantly practise Piety and only delight in the beauty of holiness which as it transcends much so it differs far from all Earthly love for that 's seldom or never enjoyed with true quietness long satisfaction or just and equal returns for the most passionate Love we can fancy as a Mistris to her Gallant or a Gallant to his Mistris is commonly of so fickle volatile and inconstant a nature as if a Woman thinks her Gallant loves any other Woman she grows Jealous and if he fancies his Mistris loves another Man as 't is ten to one she does he becomes inrag'd for as Solomon says Prov. 6.34 Jealousie is the rage of a Man here on Earth tho most are Lovers yet many are false ones but in Heaven all are Lovers and are true ones since in your Heavenly Love your act of loving is the certain fruition of your Love a Woman by loving Vertue it becomes hers but by loving a Gallant you become his for she that is under a Gallants command cannot truly say she is under her own In a word all the Riches and Pleasures imaginable that you abandon for the love of God you enjoy them all in loving God above them all And you may be certain Ladies if you can but thus love God as you ought you must despise the World as you should and then you will take more true delight in the title of a good Christian than you did ever before in the vain praise of a great beauty and slight this in comparison of that for a handsom Woman like the Sun is to be esteemed more for her Vertue than Splendor Beauty is but a fine outside Skin but true Godliness is all glorious within and will bestow on you more Celestial beauty in the other World than all your false Glasses and Gallants falser Tongues can flatter you with in this 3. My next advice to your vain Ladies is when you are putting on your fine rich Gowns which so many of you adorn your selves with every day with so great care high excess and vast expence as well of time as mony which makes many of you by being so over careful in setting out your body to be over careless in looking after your Soul in not allowing it perhaps so much as a clean shift of Repentance once a Sunday I mean a penitent Sigh or Tear in a Week to blow off and wash away your Sins and Vanities which your own corrupt Natures and idle Company breeds in you every day Therefore when you are putting on your new rich Gowns if you could but remember at the same time to Lace about your hearts this Memorandum of the Prophet That Worms are breeding under your Covering doubtless such mortifying reflexions would humble your pride and abate your vanity and not only hinder you from leading such vain Lives but wearing such rich Clothes which though they may exactly suit with the Rules of the Modists yet I am sure 't is quite contrary to the Precepts of the Apostle who orders Women not to adorn themselves with rich but modest Apparel as if rich Apparel was not modest nor to use painful Dresses which is an excess of folly of another kind by squeezing your selves into a fine slender shape by pinching in and thereby tormenting of your bodies by lasing your selves so streight to take Mens sight as you can hardly take your own breath and if this be not great pride and high folly I confess I know not what is 4. My next advise to the vain Ladies which I am sure is of great use and high advantage in order to their living vertuously and dying religiously is this Not only to shun but totally to banish that familiar companion of your Sex Pride I shall not strive here to dive far into the depth of this vast Ocean of iniquity though all our actions run as naturally to it as Rivers do to the Sea Nor do I here pretend to make a subtile penetration into any hard Conceptions of the
thoughts must both perish with you for it may be truly said of great beauties what the Psalmist said of great Princes Though you are stiled Gods yet you must die like Men so though you may be called Goddesses yet you must die like Women and though your beauty could make as great a Conquest of hearts as ever Alexander did of Kingdoms who had no more to subdue yet as death has certainly put a period to his success and life so he will certainly do the like to your beauty and days For indeed the greatest beauty is but like the finest Glass the more clear the more frail and easily broken for alas take beauty in its very highest Altitude and greatest vigour 't is a fabrick composed and made up of so many tender pieces of such brittle ware and delicate Contexture as the least spot or flaw in any one part spoils or at least blemishes the lustre of the whole and as the Poet says One that is all over Heart Every place proves a Mortal part Now Ladies if you resolve to be all over vertuous and discreet in Reputation so as to live Shot-free from all the wounding Darts of censure you must arm your selves with a clear and innocent complexion of vertue to procure which you must not only abstain from evil but the very appearance of it not only from doing bad Actions and keeping ill Company but even the hearing much less receiving vain praises and as you ought to shew a general civility to all so you ought not to give a particular freedom to any In a word you must manage all your actions with a strict prudence a perfect modesty a real humility a vertuous behaviour and a constant fear of God in all you say and do and these will gain you praises and make you well deserve to be admired for Solomon says Prov. 31.30 'T is the Woman that feareth God shall be praised and by such a blessed and holy kind of life you will secure your self against all the Censorious talk of envious bablers against the venom of those lying malicious Tongues who are not fit to be believed nor worthy to be feared Indeed Ladies the best way to make your earthly beauty continue good and lasting is to be humble in your own thoughts and not to pride or value your selves more than you ought since 't is so vain and uncertain in its most lovely colours and complexion for this will give Men a just admiration of your prudence and modesty and preserve the vertue of it Immortal beyond the duration of this fair and naked substance which some sudden accident or disease can soon blast and rob of all its blooming and youthful vigour strip it of all its gay attirement and you of that vain delight in your own self-admiration so then beauty is only less commendable in her who makes it her only pride and concern to set it off and such a Lady thus trigg'd up and furnished out by great art and invention by glittering apparel and proud ostentation is but like a fire of Straw it may blaze much but it cannot last long and whilst it lights others it consumes it self But a handsom Lady that 's free from affectation and pride and is blessed with great Piety and true Humility is like the Heavenly fire in Moses Bush which burnt and lighted others and yet never consum'd it self A handsom woman that is very proud does but enjoy her beauty as the Miser does his Wealth who does not so much possess it as it possesses him and therefore your truly pious Ladies do but use their worldly beauty as the Apostle says we are to use this World that is as if we used it not by a godly habit of mind consuming all the usual vanity affected by others in the pious reflection that there 's no true vertue or durable satisfaction in it We read in Genesis that good old Abraham made no other use of all his wealth than to purchase him a Grave O why should not all proud Women imitate him and though they be never so rich in beauty employ it all in Purchasing a Grave of Humility to bury the dust of their Pride in and by so doing they will certainly find a Resurrection of true Glory out of it which will raise to them Garlands of perpetual Praises of so Heavenly a nature and vast an extent as they will as much excel all the false vain glittering splendor of this World as the noon day brightness of a Summers Sun does the small glimmering light of a little Glow-worm which cannot be seen but by the help of darkness 6. I shall next advise the vain Ladies to resolve to new mould their Lives in this Spiritual frame of Reformation and to square out all their actions by the Golden Rules of Piety and Vertue I heard of a Gentleman that being dangerously ill of a Dropsie went to a famous Physician for his Advice who bid him abstain from all Drink for a Twelve Month and it would Cure him I am confident the like kind of Remedy would cure the fine Ladies let them but abstain from all vain thoughts on themselves and not hearken to the vain flatteries and praises of others but for one Year and 't will certainly cure them of that Devilish distemper of Pride for by one Twelve Months banishing it and conversing only with vertue and humility which are inseparable friends they will certainly make them so religiously prudent and happily vertuous as to hate and shun all proud desires and flatterers Praises and cause them to love only those that Court them in the holy Language of Truth to the Love of Godliness which is the very best way they can express their Love to you or you your Love to your selves and truly Ladies I cannot see the least reason why you should be against this holy change since it will not be a parting with nor so much as a Retrenching of your love delights but rather be a better means to enlarge and improve them by placing and fixing your mind on a much more noble object and a far finer entertainment by transplanting your affections into a far richer soil from Earth to Heaven from the fading vanities of this World to the never decaying felicities of the next and when once a young Ladies Inclinations are firmly rooted in a real desire and hearty endeavour for this blessed Change she will soon find that her Love will become so piously purified that instead of her fixing it on mortal Man she will only dedicate it to the service of the ever living God whose service is still true happiness and perfect freedom Then such a Lady will be happy above the low Region of all worldly flatterers and the more vain concerns of a fading beauty she 'll not value the rallying scoffs and contempts of those who deride her humble and strict deportment now so much out of fashion among the vain Ladies of our times for such a reformed Lady
end and accomplishment of all our desires the sole want of which is like that of wanting health which is sufficient to unpleasure all our other enjoyments in a word Content is of such an obliging generous Nature and of so universal value as it furnisheth us with every thing that either our real necessity wants or our vain desires fancy And as Content is thus pleasing so discontent is little less unpleasing and therefore I cannot but highly blame and Censure such Tyranical ill natur'd Parents as because they like such a Mans fortune therefore they will make their Child Marry such a ones person tho 't is as odious to her sight as pleasing to her fathers Covetous humor and so to satisfie his will must force her inclinations to Marry him tho utterly against her own Indeed 't is such kind of forc'd Marriages that drives young Women into a double evil and that of the worst sort too being those of Perjury and Treachery for how can you make it less than Perjury in a young Woman to make a solemn Vow in the face of the Congregation to Love that Man her whole Life whom she knows she cannot Love a piece of a day nay not so much as that very time of her Life she is vowing to Love him till death them depart And surely there is no less Treachery in such a Marriage Vow that must be a kin to that black one of Judas who under pretence to kiss his Lord and Master brought a band of Soldiers to seize him so averse forced Marriages under pretence of long continuing friendship and kindness by shaking hands but not joyning hearts do often bring Bands of discontents and miseries to each others Lives and Liberties Therefore to conclude this Discourse my opinion is that Parents may choose their Daughters wealthy Husbands to live with but 't is only themselves that can chuse Husbands to be delighted in and therefore those Maids do well that Marry with their Parents liking and they do ill that Marry against their own THE NINTH DISCOURSE Against Widows Marrying WHen I consider truly and reflect serionsly how many Widows have made themselves miserable by Marriage and how few make themselves happy by Marrying methinks it should be now as needless a Task to disswade such from Marrying as to advise them not to eat again of that Dish they came just from surfeiting on for sure she that makes her self unhappy by a second Marriage deserves as much her own misery and merits as little others pity as the Man that steals again after having been burn in the hand does the Gallows for a repeated fault is a twofold Crime and deferves a double punishment I know I need not mind the Reader of the old and common fable of two Women that went assoon as they died to S. Peter to get admittance into Paradise the first assured him that her Husband was such a devilish wicked ill natured Man that he made her life a kind of Hell on Earth upon which account S. Peter thought it reasonable that since she had suffer'd a Hell in this World she should not endure another in the next and so admitted her into Paradise The other Woman observing this thought she had a double Key and Ticket for she was not only tormented with one but two bad wicked cross-grain'd Husbands which render'd her life most miserable but S. Peter answer'd her that since she was so very simple as not to think one bad Husband enough but she must have two he bid her be gone for Paradise was no place for fools indeed that Widow must be extravagantly foolish and unreasonable that did not think the misery of one base Husband sufficient but she must try the experiment of a second I confess I cannot at all agree in opinion with that Writer who says a woman is but an imperfect Creature whilst she is without a Husband but had he said a Widow was not come to her full perfection of misery 'till she had one I fancy he had given a truer Character and taken a more just measure of most Widows lives that Marry since common experience may assure all Wives and Widows that there are generally ten bad Husbands for one good one and I believe there are few Widows in our age that are so perfect Disciples of Seneca's wisdom as to extract satisfaction out of misery it being an Apostolical vertue to be satisfied and contented in whatsoever condition it pleaseth God to place one to But I am rather of the belief that a young beautiful Widow that leads a strict vertuous unmarried life leads a kind of Miraculous one in as much as she being born a Subject to the Law of Nature and to the Lustful frailties of it having not only tasted but probably delighted in them and yet can contain her self so in the bounds of such a vertue and pious Mortification as to be so much Mistris of her self and of her own youthful temper and inclinations as to resist the pressing temptations of young handsom Men with an unmoveable vertuous constancy such young Widows do really live in this world as the Papists say the Nuns do in their Nunneries That they live in the flesh as if they had no bodies And sure since it cannot be denied but a vertue that overcomes the highest difficulties fiercest inclinations and most youthful passions must needs excel all others then it cannot be in the least doubted but that a young handsom Widow that leads a retir'd strict and unmarried life must needs in that kind surpass all other Women because she practises more the vertue of continence than any of them can I mean as to the outward mark of our knowledge since a Widow that lives in a true conformity to such a strict pious life resembles most and approaches closest to the heavenly one which must needs be the best as coming nearest to perfection for she declines the natural commerce of the body to enjoy the better and Spiritual Contemplation of the Soul And 't is most certain the more Women keep their thoughts and desires from worldly delights and vanities the more their minds will be fortified against them and the more ready they 'll be to embrace true felicity We read in Scripture that the Womans subjection to the Man was laid on her as a penance and punishment for her disobedience to her God Truly most of the young Married Sparks of our Age are very active in observing Gods pleasure herein yet not at all on the account of the Almighty's design but the worlds practice which is for such Sparks to make Marriage a punishment to the Woman as much as they can that is as much as some Wives will for serve honour and obey are grown but words of course which all Women must repeat after the Minister at Marriage but few will perform after they are Married and their promise of obedience till death them do part is seldom in their thoughts as long as they live