tell me The Church cannot yet spare you There is yet this and that necessary work to be done There is this and that need c. But 1. Is it we or God that must choose his Servants and cut out their work Whose work am I doing Is it my own or his If his is it not he that must tell me what and when and how long And will not his will and choice be best If I beâ—â—eve not this how do I take him for my God Doth God or I know better what he hath yet to do And who is fittest to do it The Churches Service and benefits must be measured out by our Master and Benefactor and not by our selves 2. What am I to those more excellent Persons whom in all Ages he hath taken out of the World And would mens Thoughts of the Churches needs detain them The poor Heathen Infidel Mahometane Nations have no Preachers of the Gospel And if their need prove not that God will send them such no Countreys need will prove that God will continue them such Many more useful Servants of Christ have died in their youth John Janeway preached but one Sermon Joseph Allen and many another excellent Men died young in the midst of his vigorous successful labours Both of them far more fit for God's work and likely to win Souls and glorifie God than I am or ever was However their greater Light was partly kindled from my lesser Yet did both these under painful consuming languishings of the Flesh die as they had long lived in the lively triumphant Praises of their Redeemer and joyful desires and hopes of Glory And shall I at Sixty seven Years of Age after such a life of unspeakable Mercies and after almost Forty four Years of comfortable help in the Service of my Lord be now afraid of my reward and shrink at the Sentence of Death and still be desiring to stay here upon pretence of further service We know not what is best for the Church as God doth The Church and the World are not Ours but his not our desires but his will must measure out its Mercies We are not so Merciful as he is It is not unmeet for us to desire many things which God will not give nor seeth it meet to grant the particulars of such desires Nothing ever lay so heavy on my Heart as the sin and misery of Mankind and to think how much of the World lyeth in folly and wickedness And for what can I pray so heartily as for the Worlds recovery And it is his will that I should shew a Holy and Universal Love by praying Let thy Name be hallowed Thy Kingdom come and Thy will be done on Earth as it is done in Heaven And yet alas how unlike is Earth to Heaven and what Ignorance Sin Confusions and Cruelties here reign and prosper And unless there be a wonderful change to be expected even as by a general Miracle how little hope appeareth that ever these Prayers should be granted in the things It maketh us better to desire that others may be better But God is the free disposer of his own gifts And it seemeth to be his will that the permitted Ignorance and Confusions of this World should help us the more to value and desire that World of Light Love and Order which he calleth us to prefer and hope for And if I am any way useful to the World it is undeserved Mercy that hath made me so for which I must be thankful But How long I shall be so is not my business to determine but my Lords My many sweet and beautiful Flowers arise and appear in their beauty and sweetness but for one Summers time and they murmur not that they flourish for so short a space The Beasts and Birds and Fishes which I feed on do live till I will have them die And as God will be served and pleased by wonderful variety at once of Animals and Vegetables c. So will he by many successive Generations If one Flower fall or die it sufficeth that others shall Summer after Summer arise from the same root And if my Pears Apples Plums c. fall or serve me when they are ripe it sufficeth that not they but others the next Year shall do the same God will have other Generations to succeed us Let us think him that we have had our time And could we overcome the Grand too little observed Crime of SELFISHNESS and could Love others as our selves and God as God above all the World it would comfort us at Death that others shall survive us and the World shall continue and God will be still God and be glorified in his works And Love will say I shall live in my successors and I shall more than Live in the Life of the World and yet most of all in the eternal Life and Glory of God And God who made us not gods but poor Creatures as it pleased him doth know best our measures And he will not try us with too long a Life of Temptations lest we should grow too familiar where we should be Strangers and utterly Strangers to our home No wonder if that World was ready for a deluge by a deluge of sin in which men lived to Six Seven Eight and Nine hundred Years of Age Had our Great Sensualists any hope of so long a life they were like to be like incarnate Devils and there would be no dwelling near them for the Holy Seed If Angels were among them they would like the Sodâ—mites seek furiously to abuse them Nor will God tire us out with too long a life of earthly sufferings We think short cares and fears and sorrows persecutions sickness and crosses to be long And shall we grudge at the Wisdom and Love which shortneth them Yea though holy duty it self be excellent and sweet yet the weakness of the Flesh maketh us liable to weariness and abateth the willingness of the Spirit And our wise and merciful God will not make our warfare or our race too long lest we be wearied and faint and fall short of the prize By our weariness and complaints and fears and groans one would think that we thought this life too long and yet when we should yield to the call of God we draw back as if we would have it everlasting § 12. Willingly submit then O my Soul It is not thou but this Flesh that must be dissolved this troublesom vile and corruptible Flesh It is but the other half thy meat and drink which thy presence kept longer uncorrupted going after the excremental part Thou diest not when Man the compositum dieth by thy departure And as thou livest not to thy self I die not to my self whether I live or die I am the Lords He that set up the Candle knoweth how long he hath use for the light of it Study thy duty and work while it is Day and let God choose thy time and willingly stand to his disposal The Gospel dieth
doubtingly whether thy heavenly Father and thy Lord doth love thee Canst thou forget the sealed Testimonies of it Did I not even now repeat so many as should shame thy doubts A multitude of thy Friends have loved thee so entirely that thou canst not doubt of it And did any of them signifie their love with the convincing evidence that God hath done Have they done for thee what he hath done Are they Love itself Is their love so full so firm and so unchangeable as his I think the sweetlier of Heaven because abundance of my ancient Lovely and Loving Holy Friends are there and am the willinger by Death to follow them And should I not think of it more pleasedly because my God and Father my Saviour and my Comforter is there And not alone but with all the Society of Love Was not Lazarus in the Bosom of God himself yet it is said that he was in Abraham's Bosom as the Promise runs that we shall sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob in the Kingdom of God And what maketh the Society of Saints so sweet as holy Love It is comfortable to read that To love the Lord our God with all our Heart and Soul and might is the First and great Commandment and the Second is like to it To Love our Neighbours as our selves For God's Commands proceed from that Will which is his Nature or Essence and they tend to the same as their Objective end Therefore he that hath made Love the Great Command doth tell us that LOVE is the Great conception of his own Essence the spring of that Command and that this commanded imperfect Love doth tend to perfect heavenly Love even to our communion with Essential Infinite Love It were strange that the Love and Goodness which is equal to the Power that made the World and the Wisdom that ordereth it should be scant and backward to do good and to be suspected more than the Love of Friends The remembrance of the holiness humility love and faithfulness of my dearest Friends of every Rank with whom I have conversed on Earth in every place where I have lived is so sweet to me that I am oft ready to recreate my self with the naming of such as are now with Christ But in Heaven they will love me better than they did on Earth and my love to them will be more pleasant But all these Sparks are little to the Sun Every place that I have lived in was a place of Divine Love which there set up its obliging Monuments Every Year and Hour of my life hath been a time of Love Every Friend and every Neigbour yea every Enemy have been the Messengers and Instruments of Love Every state and change of my life notwithstanding my sin hath opened to me Treasures and Mysteries of Love And after such a life of Love shall I doubt whether the same God do love me Is he the God of the Mountains and not of the Valleys Did he love me in my youth and health And doth he not love me in my Age and Pain and Sickness Did he love all the Faithful better in their life than at their Death If our hope be not chiefly in this life neither is our state of Love which is principally the heavenly endless Grace My groans grieve my Friends but abate not their love Did he love me for my strength my weakness might be my fear as they that love for Beauty loath them that are deformed and they that love for Riches despise the Poor But God loved me when I was his Enemy to make me a Friend and when I was bad to make me better What ever he taketh pleasure in is his own gift Who made me to differ And what have I that I have not received And God will finish the Work the Building the Warfare that is his own O the multitude of Mercies to my Soul and Body in Peace and War in Youth and Age to my self and friends the many great and gracious deliverances which have testified to me the Love of God! Have I lived in the experience of it and shall I die in the doubts of it Had it been Love only to my Body it would have died with me and not have accompanied my departing Soul I am not much in doubt of the truth of my Love to him Though I have not seen him save as in a Glass as in a Glass seen I love him I love my Brethren whom I have seen and those most that are most in Love with him I love his Word and Works and Ways and fain I would be nearer him and love him more and I loath my self for loving him no better And shall Peter say more confidently Thou knowest that I love thee than I know that thou lovest me Yes he may because though God's Love is greater and stedfaster than ours yet our knowledge of his great love is less than his knowledge of our little love and as we are defective in our own Love so are we in our certainty of its sincerity And without the knowledge of our Love to God we can never be sure of his special love to us But yet I am not utterly a stranger to my self I know for what I have lived and laboured in the World And who it is that I have desired to please The God whose I am and whom I serve hath loved me in my youth and he will love me in my aged weakness My Flesh and my Heart fail my pains seem grievous to the Flesh But it is LOVE that chooseth them that useth them for my good that moderateth them and will shortly end them Why then should I doubt of my Fathers Love Shall pain or dying make me doubt Did God love none from the beginning of the World but Henoch and Elias And what am I better than my fore-Fathers What is in me that I should expect exemption from the common lot of all Mankind Is not a competent time of great Mercy on Earth in order to the unseen felicity all that the best of men can hope for O for a clearer stronger Faith to shew me the World that more excelleth this than this excelleth the Womb where I was conceived Then should I not fear my third Birth day what pangs soever go before it nor be unwilling of my change The Grave indeed is a Bed that Nature doth abhor Yet there the weary be at rest But Souls new born have a double Nature that is Immortal and go to the place that is agreeable to their Nature even to the Region of Spirits and the Region of Holy Love Even passive Matter that hath no other Natural motion hath a Natural Inclination to uniting aggregative motion And God maketh all Natures suitable to their proper ends and use How can it be that a Spirit should not incline to be with Spirits And Souls that have the Divine Nature in holy Love desire to be with the God of Love Arts and Sciences and Tongues become not
see in the brutish Politicks of Benedictus Spinosa in his Tractat. Theolog. Polit. whither the Principles of Infidelity tend If sin so overspread the Earth that the whole world is as drowned in wickedness notwithstanding all the hopes and fears of a life to come what would it do were there no such hopes and fears § 10. 3. And no Mercy can be truly known and estimated nor rightly used and improved by him that seeth not its tendency to the End and perceiveth not that it leadeth to a better Life and useth it not thereunto God dealeth more bountifully with us than worldlings understand He giveth us all the mercies of this life as helps to an immortal state of Glory and as earnests of it Sensualists know not what a Soul is nor what Soul-mercies are and therefore not what the Soul of all bodily mercies are but take up only with the carkass shell or shadow If the King would give me a Lordship and send me a Horse or Coach to carry me to it and I should only ride about the fields for my pleasure and make no other use of it should I not undervalue and lose the principal benefit of my Horse or Coach No wonder if unbelievers be unthankful when they know not at all that part of God's mercies which is the life and real excellency of them § 11. 4. And alas how should I bear with comfort the sufferings of this wretched life without the hopes of a life with Christ What should support and comfort me under my bodily languishings and pains my weary hours and my daily experience of the Vanity and Vexation of all things under the Sun had I not a prospect of a comfortable end of all I that have lived in the midst of great and precious mercies have all my life had something to do to overcome the temptation of wishing that I had never been born and had never overcome it but by the belief of a blessed Life hereafter Solomon's sense of Vanity and Vexation hath long made all the business and wealth and honour and pleasure of this world as such appear such a dream and shadow to me that were it not for the End I could not have much differenced men's sleeping and their waking thoughts nor have much more valued the waking than the sleeping part of life but should have thought it a kind of happiness to have slept from the birth unto the death Children cry when they come into the world and I am often sorry when I am wakened out of a quiet sleep especially to the business of an unquiet day We should be strongly tempted in our considering state to murmure at our Creator as dealing much hardlier by us than by the Brutes if we must have had all those cares and griefs and fears by the knowledge of what we want and the prospect of death and future evils which they are exempted from and had not withal had the hopes of a future felicity to support us Seneca and his Stoicks had no better Argument to silence such murmurers who believed not a better life than to tell them that if this life had more evil than good and they thought God did them wrong they might remedy themselves by ending it when they would But that would not cure the repinings of a Nature who found it self necessarily aweary of the miseries of life and yet afraid of dying And it is no great wonder that many thought that pre-existent Souls were put into these bodies as a punishment of something done in a former life while they foresaw not the hoped End of all our fears and sorrows O how contemptible a thing is man saith the same Seneca unless he lift up himself above humane things Therefore saith Solomon Eccles 2. 17. when he had glutted himself with all temporal pleasures I hated life because the work that is wrought under the Sun is grievous to me For all is vanity and vexation of spirit § 12. II. I have often thought whether an Implicit belief of a future happiness without any search into its nature and thinking of any thing that can be said against it or the searching trying way be better On the one side I have known many godly women that never disputed the matter but served God comfortably to a very old Age between 80 and 100 to have lived many years in a chearful readiness and desire of death and such as few Learned studious men do never attain to in that degree who no doubt had this as a Divine Reward of their long and faithful service of God and trusting in him On the other side a studious man can hardly keep off all Objections or secure his mind against the suggestions of difficulties and doubts and if they come in they must be answered seeing we give them half a victory if we cast them off before we can answer them And a Faith that is not upheld by such evidence of Truth as Reason can discern and justifie is oft joyned with much secret doubting which men dare not open but do not therefore overcome And its weakness may have a weakening deficiency as to all the graces and duties which should be strengthened by it And who knoweth how soon a temptation from Satan or Infidels or our own dark hearts may assault us which will not without such evidence and resolving Light be overcome And yet many that try and reason and dispute most have not the strongest or most powerful Faith § 13. And my thoughts of this have had this issue 1. There is a great difference between that Light which sheweth us the Thing it self and that artificial skill by which we have right Notions Names Definitions and formed Arguments and Answers to Objections This Artificial Logical Organical kind of Knowledge is good and useful in its kind if right like Speech it self But he that hath much of this may have little of the former And unlearned persons that have little of this may have more of the former and may have those inward perceptions of the verity of the Promises Rewards of God which they cannot bring forth into artificial reasonings to themselves or others who are taught of God by the effective sort of Teaching which reacheth the Heart o◠Will as well as the Understanding and is a Giving of what is taught and a Making us such as we are told we must be And who findeth not need to pray hard for this effective Teaching of God when he hath got all Organical Knowledge and Words and Arguments in themselves most apt at his fingers ends as we say When I can prove the Truth of the Word of God and the Life to come with the most convincing undeniable Reasons I feel need to cry and pray daily to God to increase my Faith and to give me that Light which may satisfie the Soul and reach the end § 14. 2. Yet man being a Rational wight is not taught by meer Instinct and Inspiration And therefore this
not when I die The Church dieth not The Praises of God die not the World dieth not And perhaps it shall grow better and those Prayers shall be answered which seemed lost Yea it may be some of the Seed that I have sowen shall spring up to some benefit of the dark unpeaceable World when I am dead And is not this much of the end of life is not that Life good which attaineth its End If my End was to do Good and Glorifie God if Good be done and God be Glorified when I am dead yea though I were annihilated is not my End attained Feign not thy self to be God whose Interest that is the pleasing of his Will is the End of all things And whose will is the measure of all Created good Feign not thy self to be All the World God hath not lost his work the World is not dissolved when I am dissolved O how strong and unreasonable a Disease is this inordinate SELFISHNESS Is not God's Will Infinitely better than mine And fitter to be fulfilled Choose the fulfilling of his Will and thou shalt always have thy choice If a Man be well that can always have his will let this always be thy Will that God's Will may be done and thou shalt always have it Lord let thy Servant Depart in Peace even in Thy Peace which passeth understanding and which Christ the Prince of Peace doth give and nothing in the World can take away O give me that Peace which beseemeth a Soul which is so near the Harbour even the World of endless PEACE and LOVE where perfect UNION such as I am capable of will free me from all the sins and troubles which are caused by the convulsions divulsions and confusions of this divided SELFISH World Call home this Soul by the encouraging Voice of Love that it may joyfully hear and say It is my Fathers Voice Invite it to thee by the heavenly Messenger Attract it by the tokens and the foretasts of Love The Messengers that invited me to the Feast of Grace compelled me to come in without constraint Thy effectual call did make me willing And is not Glory better than preparing Grace Shall I not come more willingly to the Celestial Feast What was thy Grace for but to make me willing of Glory and the way to it Why didst thou dart down thy Beams of Love but to make me Love thee and to call me up to the everlasting Center Was not the Feast of of Grace as a Sacrament of the Feast of Glory Did I not take it in remembrance of my Lord until he come Did not he that told me All things are ready tell me also that He is gone to prepare a place for us and it is his will that we shall be with him and see his Glory They that are Given him and Drawn to him by the Father on Earth do come to Christ Give now and Draw my Departing Soul to my Glorified Head And as I have Glorified thee on Earth in the measure that thy Grace hath prevailed in me pardon the sins by which I have offended thee and Glorifie me in the beholding and participation of the Glory of my Redeemer come Lord Jesus come quickly with fuller Life and Light and Love into this too Dead and Dark and Disaffected Soul that it may come with joyful willingness unto thee § 13. Willingly Depart O lingring Soul It is from a Sodom though in it there be righteous Lots who yet are not without their woful blemishes Hast thou so oft groaned for the general blindness and wickedness of the World and art thou loth to leave it for a better How oft wouldst thou have rejoyced to have seen but the dawning of a Day of Universal Peace and Reformation And wouldst thou not see it where it shineth forth in fullest Glory Would a light at Midnight have pleased thee so well Hast thou prayed and laboured for it so hard And would thou not see the Sun Will the things of Heaven please thee no where but on Earth where they come in the least and weakest influences and are terminated in gross terrene obscure and unkind recipients Away away the vindictive Flames are ready to consume this sinful World Sinners that blindly rage in sin must quickly rage in the effects of sin and of God's Justice The pangs of Lust prepared for these pangs They are treasuring up wrath against this Day Look not then behind thee Away from this unhappy World Press on unto the Mark Phil. 3. Looking towards and hastning to the coming of the Day of God 2 Pet. 3. 10 11 12. As this World hath used thee it would use thee still and it will use others If thou hast sped well in it no thanks to it but unto God! If thou hast had manifold deliverances and marvellous preservations and hast been sed with Angels food love not this Wilderness for it but God and his Angel which was thy Guide Protector and Deliverer And hath this troublesome Flesh been so comfortable a companion to thee that thou shouldst be so loth to leave it Have thy pains thy weariness thy languishings thy labours thy cares and fears about this Body been pleasing to thee And art thou loth that they should have an end Didst thou not find a need of patience to undergo them And of greater Patience than mâ—â—r Nature gave thee And canst thou hope now for better when Nature faileth and that an aged consumed more diseased Body should be a pleasanter habitation to thee than it was heretofore If from thy youth up it hath been both a tempting and a troubling thing to thee surely though it be less tempting it will not be less troubling when it is falling to the Dust and above ground savoureth of the Grave Had things sensible been never so pleasant in thy youth and hadst thou glutted thy self in health with that sort of delight in Age thou art to say by Nature I have no pleasure in them Doth God in great Mercy make pain and feebleness the Harbingers of Death and wilt thou not understand their business Doth he mercifully before hand take away the pleasure of all fleshly things and worldly vanities that there may be nothing to relieve a departing Soul as the shell breaketh when the Bird is hatched and the Womb relaxed when the Infant must be Born and yet shall we stay when nothing holdeth us and still be loth to come away Wouldst thou dwell with thy beloved Body in the Grave where it will rot and stink in loathsome darkness If not why should it now in its painful languor seem to thee a more pleasant habitation than the glorious presence of thy Lord In the Grave it will be at rest and not tormented as now it is nor wish at Night O that it were Morning nor say at Morning when will it be Night And is this a dwelling fit for thy delight Patience in it while God will so try thee is thy duty But is such
Physical evidence of Truth On this account mens agreement about Natural Notices is infallible It seems strange that all the World from Adam's time are agreed which is the first second and third c. day of the Week and not a day lost till now It could not be otherwise Because being a thing of Natural interest and notice if any Kingdom had lost a day by over sleeping or had agreed to falsifie it all the rest of the World would have shamed them Thus all Grecians Latines Englishmen c. agree about the sense of Words for if some would pervert them the rest would detect it Thus we are certain that the Statutes of the Land are not counterfeit For men of cross interests hold their Lands and lives by them and if some did counterfeit them the rest would by interest be bound to detect it Arg. 1. There can be no effect without an adequate cause But in Nature there is no cause that can make all men agree to assert a known falshood or deny a known Truth against all their known interest therefore there can be no such effect Arg. 2. A necessary cause will necessarily effect But where mens known Interest obligeth them to agree of a known Truth this is a necessary cause of certain credibility therefore it hath a necessary effect You know who were your Parents and when and where you were Born c. by such Tradition in a lower Degree This dependeth not on pretended Authority nor on meer honesty but on natural necessity Having premised this I come to prove that we have such Tradition of Physical infallible evidence that the Faith of the present Church in the Essentials is the same which the first Churches received infallibly from the Apostles 1. The World knoweth that ever since Christ's Ascension all that believed in him were Baptized as all Abraham's Covenanting seed were Circumcised And what is Baptism but a Profession of Belief in Jesus Christ as dead risen and glorified and a devoting our selves in Covenant to God the Father Son and Holy Ghost All that ever were Christians by solemn Vow profest this same Faith And this is such a Tradition of Christianity as humane Generation down from Adam is of the same humanity in the World 2. They that were Baptized were Catechized first in which the three Articles of Baptism were opened to them of which Christ's Death Resurrection and Ascension were part And this hath been an undeniable Tradition of the same Faith 3. The Summ of the Christian Faith was from the beginning drawn up in certain Articles called the Creed which expounded the three Baptismal Articles and all Churches on Earth had the same in sense and most in Words and all at Age that were Baptized professed this Creed Which is as full a Tradition of the same Belief in Christ's Birth Death and Resurrection Ascension and Glory as Speaking is a Tradition of the same humane Nature 4. Before Christ's Ascension he instituted the Office of the Sacred Ministry which Friends and Foes confess hath continued ever since And what is this Ministry but an Office of publishing the Gospel of Christ his Life Death Miracles Resurrection Grace c. What else have they done in all Ages in the World So that the Office is an undeniable Tradition 5. Christ and his Apostles instituted the Weekly Celebration of the Remembrance of his Resurrection on the Lord's days Friends and Foes confess the History that the first Day of the Week hath been kept for such Memorial ever since through all the Christian part of the World Which proveth the uninterrupted belief of Christ's Resurrection as a Notorious Practical Tradition 6. Christ and his Apostles ever since his Resurrection instituted Solemn Assemblies of Christians to be held on those Days and at other Times Once a Week was the least through the Christian World And what did they meet for but to Preach hear and profess the same Christian Faith 7. It was the constant custom of Christians in their Assemblies and their Houses to sing Hymns of Praise to Jesus Christ in remembrance of his Resurrection c. Pliny tells Trajan that this was the practice by which Christians were known by their Persecutors Which is a Practical Tradition 8. Jesus Christ instituted and all Christians to this Day have constantly used the Sacrament of Christ's Sacrifice called the Eucharist to keep in remembrance his Death till he come and profess their Belief that he is our Life And as the constant Celebration of the Passover with all its Ceremonies was a most certain Tradition of the Egyptians Plagues and Israelites deliverance more than a bare written History would be so hath the Lord's Supper been of the uninterrupted belief of the History of our Redemption by Christ 9. The Church hath from the beginning had a constant Discipline by which it hath kept it self separate from Hereticks who have denied any Essential Article of this Faith Which is a sure Tradition of the same belief 10. None question but Christians have from the beginning been persecuted for this same Faith and in Persecution made Confession of it Persecutors and Confessors then are both the Witnesses of the Continuance 11. When ever Hereticks or Enemies have written against Christians their Apologies and Defences shew that it was this same Faith that they owned 12. Most of the adverse Hereticks owned the same Matters of Fact 13. The Jews were long before in Possession of the Books of the Old Testament which bear their Testimony to Christ 14. The Books of the New Testament have by certain Tradition been delivered down to this present Day which contain the Matters of Fact and Doctrin the Essentials Integrals and Accidents of the Faith 15. No Enemies have written any thing against the Matter of Fact of any Moment 16. Yea the Jews and other bitterest Enemies confess much of the Miracles of Christ 17. Martyrs have cheerfully forsaken Life and all in confessing it 18. God by his wonderful Providence hath maintained it 19. The Devil and all the Wicked of the World are the greatest Enemies to it 20. The Holy Ghost hath still blest it to work the same holy and heavenly Nature and Life in all sincere and serious Believers Quest This proveth infallibly the Tradition of the same Faith in the Essentials But how prove you that the same Holy Scripture is delivered as uncorrupted Answ All the Bible is not brought down so unchanged as are the Essentials of our Religion When there were no Bibles but what Scriveners wrote no wonder if oversight left few Copies without some of their slips There are hundred of various Readings in the New Testament and of many no Man can be certain which is true But none of them are such as make any difference in the Articles of our Faith or Practice nor on which any point of Doctrine or Fact dependeth And the words are necessary but for the Matter which they do record And 1. All Ministers and all Churches
and such as will fully convince the Communicants Without such a miraculous glimpse of Glory God sometime giveth some of his Servants such a Mental illustration and inward glimpse and taste of Heaven as greatly overcometh all the fears of Pain and Death such many old and later Martyrs have had It was a strange word of the godly Bishop of St. Davids Mr. Farrar to his Neighbours If I stir in the Fire believe not my Doctrin and accordingly he stirred not If he had not had some Prophetical Inspiration this could not have been justified from being a presumptuous tempting God And Mr. Baynam's case was a meer wonder who in the Flames called to the Papists to see a Miracle professing to them that in the Fire he felt no more pain than if he had been laid in a Bed of Down or Roses I am just now reading in Adam's Lives of the German Philosophers the Life of Olympia Fulvia Morata which ended with some such experience In many Ages there hath been some one rare Woman who hath excelled men in the Languages Philosophy and other humane Learning Such a one was this Olympia Fulvia Morata of Ferrarrie She married Andr. Gundler a Physician She removed with him into Germany being by the way convinced of the Guard of Angels by her young Brothers falling out of a high Window on cragged Stones without any more hurt than if it had been on the soft ground In Germany she thus wrote to Anna Estensis a Guisian Princess As soon as by the singular goodness of God I was departed from the Italian Idolatry and came with my Husband into Germany it is incredible how God changed my Soul or mind which being formerly most averse or abhorring to the Divine Scriptures am now delighted in them alone and place in them all my Study Labour Care and Mind And as much as possible contemn all the Riches Honours and Pleasures which formerly I was wont to admire But the Cross presently following in God's usual Method her Husband and She were by Souldiers stript naked save the shift next the Body and narrowly scaping with life were put so to wander from place to place none daring to entertain them even when she was sick of a Feaver till at last they found liberal entertainment in which she shortly fell into a mortal Disease of which she died And in her last Sickness and after much torment of Body near Death she pleasantly smiled Her Husband asked her the Cause who said I saw a certain place which was full of a most clear and beauteous Light Intimating that she should be quickly there and saying I am wholly full of Joy And spake no more till her Eye-sight failing she said I scarce know any of you any more But all things else about seem to be full of most beauteous Flowers which were her last words having a long time professed that nothing seemed more desirable to her than to be dissolved and to be with Christ in all her sickness magnifying his Mercies to her Many have thus joyfully laid down the Flesh to go to Christ What wonder then if Peter was loth to lose the pleasure of what he saw Two things are necessary to great and solid joy First That the Object be truly and greatly amiable and delectable and Secondly That the apprehensions of it be clear and strong As to the first we have so great and glorious things to delight us as would feast our Souls with constant Joy were not the Second alas much wanting What Man could choose but be even in Peter's rapture continually if he had but ascertained heavenly Glory apprehended by him in as satisfactory a manner as these sensible things are If I lay in Prison yea or in torment of Colick Stone or any such Disease and had but withal such apprehensions or sight of assured Glory surely the pain would not be able to suppress my joy What a mixture what a discord would there be in my expressions Torment would constrain my Flesh to groan and the sight of Heaven would make me triumph I cannot but think how this great discord would shew the difference between the Spirit and the Flesh What a strange thing it would be to hear the same Man at the same time crying out in pain with groans and magnifying the love of God with transporting joy But we are not yet fit for such joyful apprehensions our weak Eyes must not see the Sun but through the allaying Medium of a humid Air at a vast distance and by the Chrystalline humour and organical parts of the Eye Fain we would get nearer and have sight or clearer apprehensions of the Spiritual Society and glorious World We study we pray we look up we groan under our distance darkness and unsatisfying conceptions But yet it must not be We must be ripened before the Shell will break or the dark Womb will deliver us up to the Glorious Light But Christ vouchsafed that to his three Apostles which we are unworthy of and yet unfit for O happy sight O happy men It is incongruous to say What would I not give for such a sight Lest it should savour of Simon Magus folly And I have nothing to give But it is not incongruous to say What would I not do And what would I not suffer for such a fight Yea Christ puts such kind of Questions to us O that I had better answered them in the Hour of Duty and in the Hour of Temptation When he asked Can ye drink of the Cup that I drink of and be Baptized with the Baptism that I am Baptized with I have been ready with James and John to say I can but when the trial comes as they after in his suffering forsook him and fled how insufficient is my own strength to perform my promise When he imposeth on me the denying of my self forsaking all and taking up the Cross and following him I yielded and covenanted by Vow to do it but it was By the help of the Holy Spirit which he promised to give me I stand Lord to my Covenant Help me to perform it and give me though not his present sight yet some of Peter's Mental apprehensions and a glimpse a taste of that which transported him with delight Let who will or who Thou wilt take the Riches and Grandeur of the World O give me some delightful taste of that which I am made for redeemed for and which thy Spirit hath long taught me to seek and hope for as my All. § 25. Peter was not weary with the sight of this heavenly Apparition Why should I be weary of the believing contemplation of greater things Though sight affect us more sensibly than meer believing and thinking yet these have their happy Office which may be effectual And Christ who thus appeared in Glory to Peter hath said Blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed And Peter himself saith of them that see not Christ that They rejoice with joy unspeakable