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A53929 Advice to Balam's ass, or, Momus catechised in answer to a certaine scurrilous and abusive scribler, one John Heydon, author of Advice to a daughter / by T.P., Gent. Pecke, Thomas, b. 1637. 1658 (1658) Wing P1039; ESTC R7861 22,600 69

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tumble downe a Bird just so you let fly at random your Chaine-Shot Episco-mastix and therefore should you hit ingenuity would not assoyle because you could not levell at any irreverent speech vomited upon the Pillars of the Church Because she hath the subtiler Braine and To those who account Every Woman a kinde of Sybil and what ever falls out of their mouths a sacred Oracle this may hold good None can deny that some Women are wiser than some Men but that in the generall Mens wits should be comparatively blunt I shall scarce make the 13 Article of my Creed 23 Though the Romans had their Vestals yet after thirty yeares continuance the cruelty of enforced Chastity was not inforce against them c. The Vestals were chosen into the Nunnery betwixt the Sixth and Eleventh year of their Age And t is observable that notwithstanding they were not prohibited Marriage after their thirty yeares expiration yed did they usually abstaine because who Married in the end dyed A fearefull death I for my part account it facil to carry that chastity inviolated to the Coffin which for the succession of forty yeares had quenched the wild Fiers of Lust Read the twenty fourth in Sir Tho Overburies Character of A Good woman And the Twenty fifth in that of A Good Wife This conclusion excepted Ladies now your Enemy is vanquished you may take your pleasures The old Knights Errant used to make the Breath-lesse Gyants Heads witnesse to confirm the Victorie Had you struck of your Enemies Head and on the top of your Speare Presented it to the Ladies you should have purchased beliefe The onely way to conquer is to begge some auxiliary forces of sagacitie from the Rosa-Crucians for you may feare that at length the badnesse of your cause and the impossibilitie of paying Arreares may make your Lord Generall and Lord Admirall Overbury and Cleaveland to desert you TRAVELL Para. 1. I have discovered more with my Eyes then Kings can comprehend in their thoughts A King is frequently Surnamed Longimanus because the Energie of Supreme Authority is very comprehensive But what is the extent of action compared to the immense circumference of Thought and yet you have seene more then Kings can comprehend in their thoughts did you not in your travells see the poles upon which the Heavens turne and were you never Astrolo-Medicus to the Queene of Fairies 2 He hath lived but lockt up in A Chest who hath never seene but one Land T is A Maxime Vnus Oculatus Testis ualet Auritis decem One eye-witnesse is worth ten such as have no other basis for their Testimony then Heare say If English Gallants crossed the Seas as Posthumius Sulpitius Manlius by whose observations the Romanes made those excellent Lawes call'd after ward Leges Duodecem Tabularum to dreine other Nations of what might be really serviceable to themselves or the common-wealth Travell would prove A great accomplishment but since it is A generall Debaucher I count him no more Foole that takes upon Trust from good Authors and can confine his desires to the Chest as you call it of one Countrey as He that dares vie for all things except Antiquity with Drakes Ship the imagined Girdle of the world 3 The Philosophers Dogmatically averre that every Man hath duos Genios Two Angels A Good one exciting to vertuous Actions And A bad seduceing him to all kind of vitious enormities If you please to know what A Genius is be sure to set the edge of your apprehension and attend this Description A Genius is that which from God to one of the seven Spirits is given to be transferred by Sephiroth the severall orders of Angels to the Spheres of the Planets Lastly the Moone raises it through the Elements and infuses it into the body of Man Risum teneatis Amici I wish I had A Genius that enough Could deride Heydon and such rauing stuffe 6 Without Registring these things with the Pen they will slide away unprofitably c. This Bolt is shot against that grave advice Shun all Disputes but Especially concerning Religion See how Non-disputation and the registring cohere And observe what A strong man our Author is that there is not any thing but he can Pull in by the Head and Eares As you have Examples in this and the following Paragraph The Sitxh subsequent are pretty moderate and though he writes at the begining of every One I answer I answer His answers are not occasioned by A contradictory Spirit but because He hath sworn to say some-thing though it be the same in Sence with those Aphorismes flourishing in that Rhetorical Tempe Advice To A Son 18 Either Good Wits jumpt or you and Sir T. Over. Traviller met The ninteenth is A Remnant of the ●ame stolne Cloath 20 Here He mislikes that His Antagonist should be Servant both to AEsculapius and Astraea A Doctor of Physick and A Justice of Peace Why I hope Sir that you are not offended if A Physitian Anatomises the Law but if He be A Doctor of Physick I wish he would cure you of the Frensie Or if He be A Justice make you a Mittimus to Bedlam 21 I Advice young Gentlemen not to marry uncomely Women for any respect c. Surely all your Daughters are lovely or not much beholden to you for your Councell what must none but Comely Girles have Husbands Pray see what a good Father yee have excellent Councell except sage advice If any one be crooked shee is A Bride for None but Death If the Small Pox digges your Face And makes it selfe Cavities as A Common shore to carry away the filth and corruption of the Bloud Yee may whistle for An Husband and Crie into the Bargaine and yet go without But what if yee were lame or had but One Eye then yee should be thought stark blinde if yee entertained A thought of An Husband And why may not Men marry unhandsome Women Oh because then of Necessity they shall have such Children which quotidian experience confutes I admire Beauty and yet can look upon the greatest fulgour of A charming countenance without dazeling my Eyes I entend tolerable Comlinesse should make A part of my entertainement in the Bridal Bed yet I both can and do look upon Notorious deformities not with contempt but Pitty and that Pitty is not blab'd abroad to their discontent but lockt up in my Breast as a motive to thankfulnesse for God's more Merciful Dispensation And disposition of corporal Materials in the Architecture of my Souls Mansion 24 Here you have the second part to the same tune of affectate Traveller which ah me is now at A period Well however it hath done you know who good Service in this and the forementioned places I am afraid you will shortly be a bankrupt You use to sell Overbury by whole Sale as in the meere Scholer P. 7. c. and what is Wit such a scarce commodity as you are compelled to Retaile And he that uses to