indisposition_n of_o health_n i_o ought_v to_o value_v it_o and_o not_o forsake_v my_o usual_a devotion_n nor_o have_v recourse_n to_o such_o refreshment_n as_o satisfy_v sensuality_n but_o to_o take_v pleasure_n for_o once_o to_o make_v bold_a with_o my_o body_n that_o have_v often_o make_v bold_a with_o my_o soul_n notwithstanding_o this_o must_v be_v do_v with_o discretion_n 3._o i_o must_v rejoice_v at_o cross_n and_o difficulty_n which_o i_o meet_v withal_o as_o afford_v matter_n to_o practise_v many_o great_a virtue_n which_o prepare_v the_o soul_n for_o great_a grace_n and_o make_v her_o worthy_a of_o great_a love_n what_o god_n please_v to_o give_v oftentimes_o to_o his_o best_a friend_n in_o this_o life_n be_v fair_a occasion_n to_o suffer_v for_o christ_n sake_n by_o a_o generous_a renunciation_n of_o what_o the_o world_n most_o affect_v and_o nature_n most_o desire_n 4._o i_o ought_v to_o be_v strong_o persuade_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v so_o far_o rich_a in_o virtue_n as_o i_o shall_v be_v poor_a in_o worldly_a good_n provide_v i_o be_v faithful_a to_o the_o grace_n of_o my_o vocation_n which_o invite_v i_o to_o be_v dead_a to_o all_o thing_n but_o only_a god_n i_o must_v therefore_o have_v a_o care_v not_o to_o harken_v to_o the_o argument_n of_o humane_a prudence_n which_o still_o find_v pretension_n enough_o to_o shun_v contempt_n and_o suffering_n our_o sensuality_n do_v much_o retardus_n in_o the_o way_n to_o perfection_n but_o humane_a reason_n more_o be_v more_o subtle_a and_o powerful_a to_o persuade_v the_o only_a remedy_n be_v to_o abandon_v ourselves_o to_o the_o conduct_n of_o grace_n and_o fall_v in_o love_n with_o the_o folly_n of_o the_o cross_n chap._n xiii_o to_o give_v ourselves_o up_o to_o the_o conduct_n of_o god_n spirit_n we_o must_v not_o use_v violence_n in_o the_o practice_n of_o a_o spiritual_a life_n by_o bind_v ourselves_o severe_o to_o this_o or_o that_o way_n but_o sweet_o follow_v the_o motion_n of_o god_n holy_a spirit_n we_o must_v row_v against_o the_o stream_n of_o our_o corrupt_a nature_n but_o not_o strive_v against_o the_o wind_n that_o come_v from_o heaven_n work_v we_o must_v but_o by_o follow_v god_n holy_a inspiration_n which_o be_v sensible_a enough_o to_o holy_a heart_n a_o soul_n accustom_v to_o the_o conduct_n of_o god_n spirit_n do_v know_v his_o motion_n i_o can_v explicate_v this_o as_o i_o will_v but_o it_o be_v a_o assure_a truth_n she_o know_v they_o by_o experience_n i_o must_v whole_o depend_v on_o divine_a providence_n without_o any_o dependence_n on_o creature_n though_o holy_a cast_v myself_o into_o the_o arm_n of_o god_n as_o a_o infant_n that_o take_v no_o care_n but_o to_o lie_v in_o the_o mother_n bosom_n to_o suck_v the_o teat_n and_o delight_v therewith_o do_v love_v she_o dear_o i_o confess_v our_o bless_a saviour_n treat_v i_o after_o this_o manner_n for_o without_o any_o solicitude_n of_o i_o to_o nourish_v my_o soul_n with_o spiritual_a food_n or_o without_o any_o search_n into_o book_n for_o that_o end_n but_o only_o in_o his_o sacred_a heart_n i_o experience_n that_o i_o want_v nothing_o which_o sometime_o do_v strike_v i_o with_o admiration_n and_o fear_n that_o i_o have_v be_v negligent_a to_o do_v my_o duty_n but_o this_o fear_n do_v present_o vanish_v see_v god_n be_v please_v to_o provide_v for_o i_o before_o i_o think_v on_o it_o this_o make_v i_o know_v experimental_o that_o god_n will_v have_v i_o whole_o depend_v upon_o he_o without_o any_o support_n from_o creature_n for_o if_o i_o seek_v to_o they_o his_o care_n diminish_v and_o my_o soul_n fall_v into_o indigence_n find_v little_a succour_n from_o the_o creature_n she_o have_v recourse_n to_o which_o make_v she_o soon_o retire_v to_o the_o pap_n of_o providence_n and_o this_o suffice_v a_o mother_n sometime_o have_v milk_n in_o one_o pap_n and_o not_o in_o the_o other_o if_o the_o little_a infant_n will_v change_v he_o be_v deceive_v but_o find_v little_a help_n from_o the_o left_a pap_n he_o return_v to_o the_o right_n and_o now_o will_v not_o quit_v it_o be_v grow_v wise_a by_o experience_n my_o soul_n thus_o find_v little_a help_n from_o the_o creature_n return_v present_o to_o the_o pap_n of_o providence_n and_o there_o abide_v i_o fear_v sometime_o to_o have_v too_o many_o consolation_n in_o prayer_n but_o this_o do_v satisfy_v i_o that_o god_n will_v have_v i_o live_v as_o a_o infant_n that_o stand_v in_o need_n of_o such_o comfort_n he_o make_v choice_n of_o other_o soul_n for_o great_a performance_n that_o regard_v his_o glory_n if_o a_o infant_n shall_v leave_v the_o bosom_n of_o his_o mother_n to_o do_v her_o service_n he_o will_v fall_v and_o hurt_v himself_o and_o do_v no_o good_a he_o must_v then_o let_v other_o work_n and_o be_v content_a with_o his_o mother_n embrace_n wherefore_o what_o i_o have_v to_o do_v be_v to_o stick_v close_o to_o god_n and_o let_v other_o travel_v in_o great_a affair_n as_o more_o grow_v up_o in_o grace_n in_o comparison_n of_o who_o a_o little_a infant_n be_v nothing_o but_o weakness_n my_o perfection_n consist_v in_o my_o fidelity_n in_o a_o perfect_a abandon_v of_o myself_o to_o god_n which_o will_v increase_v as_o i_o advance_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n and_o his_o design_n i_o must_v therefore_o be_v in_o a_o manner_n passive_a and_o in_o my_o thought_n desire_n action_n disposition_n interior_a and_o exterior_a depend_v on_o the_o pure_a conduct_n of_o god_n and_o his_o pleasure_n a_o soul_n well_o illuminate_v love_v not_o the_o disposition_n she_o find_v in_o herself_o but_o god_n who_o give_v they_o and_o his_o will_n be_v the_o sole_a object_n of_o her_o complacency_n it_o be_v all_o one_o to_o she_o to_o be_v in_o this_o or_o that_o disposition_n as_o best_o please_v god_n and_o love_a nothing_o more_o than_o a_o perfect_a abandon_v of_o herself_o to_o his_o providence_n o_o dear_a abandon_v thou_o be_v at_o present_a the_o object_n of_o my_o love_n which_o by_o thou_o be_v purify_v augment_v and_o inflame_v whosoever_o possess_v thou_o do_v know_v and_o taste_v the_o amiable_a transport_n of_o great_a liberty_n of_o spirit_n a_o soul_n lose_v herself_o happy_o in_o thou_o after_o have_v lose_v all_o creature_n for_o the_o love_n of_o abjection_n and_o find_v herself_o no_o where_n but_o in_o god_n be_v dead_a to_o all_o thing_n beside_o he_o o_o dear_a abandon_v thou_o be_v the_o disposition_n of_o disposition_n and_o all_o other_o do_v refer_v to_o thou_o happy_a be_v they_o that_o know_v thou_o be_v of_o more_o worth_n than_o all_o other_o grace_n a_o soul_n in_o abandon_v have_v a_o pure_a regard_n to_o god_n and_o be_v not_o concern_v but_o for_o his_o interest_n yea_o desire_v not_o abjection_n nor_o any_o thing_n else_o but_o god_n good_a pleasure_n few_o word_n can_v explicate_v the_o great_a effect_n that_o it_o work_v in_o the_o interiour_n to_o establish_v a_o soul_n perfect_o in_o god_n it_o be_v abandon_v that_o make_v her_o insensible_a in_o all_o kind_n of_o accident_n and_o nothing_o but_o the_o loss_n of_o abandon_v can_v afflict_v she_o you_o be_v admirable_a o_o my_o god_n you_o be_v admirable_a in_o your_o holy_a operation_n and_o assention_n that_o you_o make_v in_o soul_n who_o you_o conduct_v from_o light_n to_o light_v by_o your_o divine_a providence_n which_o be_v not_o know_v but_o by_o experience_n sometime_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o grace_n to_o love_v abjection_n be_v the_o high_a pitch_n but_o now_o i_o see_v that_o abandon_v mount_v the_o soul_n to_o a_o more_o elevate_a state_n o_o dear_a abandon_v thou_o doubtless_o will_v be_v the_o ultimate_a disposition_n i_o desire_v nothing_o but_o thou_o and_o death_n as_o the_o gate_n whereby_o to_o enter_v into_o a_o eternal_a abandon_v dear_a death_n how_o pleasant_a and_o lovely_a do_v thou_o seem_v unto_o i_o what_o allurement_n do_v i_o see_v in_o thou_o deliver_v i_o from_o my_o captivity_n that_o i_o may_v full_o enjoy_v my_o well-beloved_a however_o if_o thy_o come_n will_v interrupt_v my_o abandon_v come_v not_o for_o thou_o be_v nothing_o in_o comparison_n and_o all_o thy_o delight_n will_v be_v bitter_a to_o i_o o_o dear_a abandon_v thou_o be_v the_o belove_a of_o my_o heart_n which_o ardent_o breathe_v after_o thou_o but_o when_o shall_v i_o know_v that_o i_o possess_v thou_o perfect_o this_o shall_v be_v when_o the_o divine_a will_n shall_v reign_v perfect_o in_o i_o for_o my_o soul_n shall_v be_v establish_v in_o a_o entire_a indifferency_n to_o all_o event_n and_o mean_n of_o perfection_n when_o she_o shall_v have_v no_o other_o joy_n then_o in_o god_n no_o other_o content_n no_o other_o felicity_n our_o bless_a saviour_n say_v often_o to_o a_o soul_n abandon_v to_o his_o will_n think_v upon_o i_o and_o i_o will_v think_v upon_o
interest_n to_o advance_v god_n glory_n a_o soul_n ought_v to_o be_v well-pleased_a that_o her_o body_n shall_v be_v crumble_v to_o dust_n and_o as_o it_o be_v reduce_v to_o nothing_o to_o exalt_v the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o glorify_v his_o justice_n a_o holy_a person_n much_o wonder_v how_o the_o saint_n who_o be_v powerful_a with_o god_n keep_v their_o body_n so_o long_o entire_a not_o obtain_v that_o they_o may_v be_v humble_v by_o putrefaction_n because_o they_o know_v the_o inestimable_a value_n of_o humiliation_n which_o most_o glorify_v god_n aught_o as_o it_o seem_v to_o have_v procure_v it_o to_o their_o body_n but_o if_o god_n think_v best_a to_o glorify_v himself_o by_o preserve_v they_o from_o corruption_n his_o divine_a will_n be_v and_o must_v be_v the_o rule_n of_o their_o desire_n sometime_o i_o have_v desire_v death_n as_o amiable_a because_o it_o will_v give_v i_o free_a access_n to_o enjoy_v god_n but_o at_o present_a i_o have_v the_o spirit_n of_o annihilation_n this_o annihilation_n be_v a_o state_n above_o that_o of_o death_n and_o by_o it_o we_o offer_v a_o perfect_a sacrifice_n a_o soul_n which_o seek_v the_o glory_n of_o god_n desire_v death_n to_o enter_v into_o this_o perfect_a annihilation_n what_o be_v most_o horrible_a in_o death_n paleness_n deformity_n noisomness_n putrefaction_n please_v she_o best_o for_o these_o be_v companion_n of_o a_o perfect_a annihilation_n to_o humble_v she_o as_o much_o as_o possible_a o_o death_n how_o lovely_a be_v thou_o to_o such_o a_o soul_n it_o be_v a_o strange_a thing_n that_o the_o fire_n of_o divine_a love_n burn_v no_o bright_a in_o our_o heart_n upon_o the_o frequent_v of_o the_o sacrament_n oftentimes_o we_o exercise_v ourselves_o twice_o a_o day_n in_o mental_a prayer_n sometime_o by_o holy_a conference_n daily_a lecture_n and_o consideration_n now_o i_o think_v the_o cause_n of_o this_o be_v that_o we_o be_v sad_a deject_v with_o abjection_n which_o so_o chill_v the_o heart_n that_o the_o fire_n of_o divine_a love_n be_v stifle_v thereby_o but_o when_o once_o humiliation_n be_v a_o joy_n unto_o we_o the_o heart_n present_o become_v inflame_v my_o soul_n have_v a_o great_a degust_n of_o this_o life_n feel_v a_o wonderful_a desire_n of_o death_n she_o never_o be_v more_o sensible_a than_o now_o of_o her_o captivity_n and_o prison_n in_o this_o mortal_a body_n she_o sigh_v after_o the_o liberty_n to_o see_v god_n and_o enjoy_v he_o without_o any_o disturbance_n whatsoever_o for_o all_o create_a thing_n do_v divert_v this_o happy_a exercise_n in_o which_o consist_v her_o felicity_n be_v a_o prisoner_n in_o this_o body_n she_o be_v yet_o in_o darkness_n and_o distraction_n by_o eat_v sleep_a several_a affair_n and_o accident_n o_o how_o be_v she_o crucify_v in_o be_v deprive_v of_o the_o full_a embrace_n of_o her_o belove_a quis_fw-la i_o liberabit_fw-la de_fw-la corpore_fw-la mortis_fw-la huius_fw-la this_o make_v st._n paul_n earnest_o desire_v to_o be_v free_v from_o the_o prison_n of_o this_o mortal_a body_n i_o admire_v the_o happiness_n of_o those_o who_o die_v in_o our_o lord_n and_o do_v wonder_n at_o the_o blindness_n of_o of_o such_o who_o passionate_o desire_v this_o present_a life_n and_o be_v take_v up_o so_o much_o with_o the_o care_n of_o the_o body_n good_n employment_n which_o be_v so_o many_o impediment_n of_o our_o converse_n with_o god_n and_o christian_a perfection_n o_o how_o importunate_a be_v sensuality_n with_o we_o and_o yet_o how_o contemptible_a be_v every_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o god_n we_o ought_v not_o to_o be_v discomfort_a at_o the_o loss_n of_o temporal_a thing_n because_o thereby_o some_o chain_n of_o our_o captivity_n be_v break_v much_o less_o ought_v we_o to_o be_v trouble_v to_o see_v our_o body_n the_o prison_n of_o our_o soul_n to_o weaken_v by_o degree_n and_o threaten_v death_n take_v courage_n we_o shall_v soon_o see_v our_o desire_n accomplish_v and_o short_o we_o shall_v enjoy_v god_n in_o full_a possession_n this_o state_n of_o desire_n and_o languish_n after_o god_n be_v a_o state_n whereby_o we_o honour_v he_o as_o our_o final_a happiness_n and_o be_v so_o he_o deserve_v by_o reason_n of_o his_o excellence_n that_o we_o shall_v continual_o sigh_v after_o he_o such_o as_o have_v no_o love_n for_o their_o final_a end_n make_v no_o matter_n of_o it_o and_o give_v too_o much_o evidence_n that_o they_o find_v their_o repose_n in_o something_o else_o which_o be_v a_o most_o dreadful_a disorder_n but_o consider_v our_o happiness_n by_o death_n methinks_v i_o see_v nothing_o more_o lovely_a than_o cross_n and_o abjection_n which_o can_v only_o refresh_v a_o soul_n pant_v after_o the_o full_a possession_n of_o god_n and_o sometime_o so_o content_a with_o it_o that_o she_o forget_v the_o pain_n of_o her_o banishment_n see_v herself_o in_o a_o state_n wherein_o she_o may_v glorify_v god_n in_o so_o transcendent_a in_o a_o manner_n which_o be_v what_o she_o chief_o desire_v aspire_v to_o enjoyment_n without_o have_v regard_n to_o her_o proper_a satisfaction_n chap._n xviii_o consideration_n upon_o the_o natural_a inclination_n we_o have_v to_o evil_n a_o stone_n hold_v in_o the_o air_n if_o let_v go_v fall_v natural_o to_o the_o ground_n by_o its_o own_o weight_n and_o it_o be_v no_o more_o matter_n of_o wonder_n when_o we_o fall_v into_o imperfection_n if_o god_n leave_v we_o to_o ourselves_o we_o be_v present_o in_o our_o own_o nothing_o weakness_n and_o infirmity_n and_o if_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n be_v not_o very_o great_a unto_o we_o we_o shall_v fall_v more_o often_o they_o may_v be_v think_v valiant_a who_o bear_v up_o stout_o against_o the_o blast_n of_o strong_a temptation_n alas_o take_v we_o at_o the_o best_a we_o be_v as_o frail_a as_o glass_n on_o a_o cupboard_n if_o some_o be_v soon_o break_v it_o be_v because_o they_o be_v more_o use_v and_o find_v in_o the_o hand_n of_o a_o ill_a manager_n those_o that_o stand_v still_o on_o the_o cupboard_n if_o they_o have_v reason_n will_v not_o brag_v of_o their_o strength_n but_o only_o acknowledge_v that_o they_o have_v not_o be_v try_v by_o occasion_n when_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n keep_v we_o from_o fall_v we_o ought_v not_o to_o take_v complacence_n therein_o as_o if_o we_o be_v better_a than_o other_o by_o reason_n of_o such_o divine_a favour_n but_o our_o content_a aught_o to_o be_v in_o the_o good_a pleasure_n of_o god_n who_o be_v so_o munificent_a to_o his_o creature_n yea_o the_o most_o unworthy_a to_o be_v thus_o please_v only_o with_o god_n will_n be_v also_o very_o necessary_a when_o it_o be_v god_n pleasure_n to_o leave_v a_o soul_n to_o combat_v with_o some_o singular_a imperfection_n a_o long_a time_n without_o victory_n for_o it_o be_v the_o will_n of_o god_n to_o leave_v a_o soul_n thus_o to_o fight_v it_o out_o she_o ought_v to_o be_v as_o well_o content_a as_o if_o she_o be_v more_o elevate_v by_o grace_n see_v in_o this_o state_n she_o meet_v with_o the_o divine_a pleasure_n which_o be_v the_o object_n of_o her_o complacency_n insomuch_o that_o the_o soul_n have_v no_o more_o inclination_n for_o one_o grace_n than_o another_o but_o indifferent_a to_o all_o be_v content_a to_o have_v her_o fault_n make_v know_v to_o glorify_v god_n by_o the_o love_n of_o abjection_n secret_n fault_n do_v we_o the_o great_a hurt_n when_o manifest_v if_o we_o make_v good_a use_n of_o it_o they_o may_v bring_v no_o small_a advantage_n to_o we_o i_o have_v at_o present_a a_o wonderful_a distaste_n of_o this_o life_n which_o be_v hardly_o a_o life_n but_o a_o continual_a death_n because_o it_o deprive_v we_o of_o knowledge_n and_o and_o love_n in_o perfection_n o_o how_o this_o mortal_a life_n be_v a_o great_a punishment_n and_o full_a of_o cross_n here_o we_o sin_n here_o we_o forget_v god_n and_o run_v a_o hazard_n to_o lose_v he_o eternal_o love_v here_o find_v little_a nourishment_n be_v feed_v with_o slender_a knowledge_n sometime_o much_o cloud_v and_o continual_a propension_n to_o evil_a dear_a saviour_n when_o will_v you_o deliver_v i_o from_o the_o body_n of_o this_o death_n this_o be_v the_o desire_n of_o st._n paul_n which_o i_o take_v the_o courage_n to_o make_v be_v so_o much_o out_o of_o love_n with_o this_o miserable_a life_n the_o end_n of_o the_o first_o book_n book_n ii_o of_o the_o supernatural_a life_n which_o be_v the_o life_n of_o all_o true_a christian_n chap._n i._n the_o idea_n or_o description_n of_o the_o supernatural_a life_n we_o can_v never_o attain_v perfection_n by_o the_o sole_a conduct_n of_o human_a reason_n which_o be_v the_o light_n of_o philosopher_n faith_n be_v the_o light_n of_o christian_n which_o teach_v we_o to_o renounce_v the_o ratiocination_n of_o carnal_a prudence_n to_o follow_v in_o simplicity_n a_o jesus_n crucify_a to_o observe_v the_o commandment_n of_o god_n as_o
according_a to_o nature_n and_o must_v employ_v all_o mean_n and_o motive_n to_o this_o effect_n i_o will_v set_v down_o some_o of_o they_o it_o be_v a_o good_a motive_n or_o mean_n to_o renounce_v all_o creature_n and_o ourselves_o by_o a_o spirit_n of_o denudation_n say_v with_o great_a fervour_n and_o affection_n away_o creature_n get_v hence_o from_o i_o and_o leave_v a_o place_n in_o my_o heart_n for_o god_n alone_o 2._o it_o be_v a_o good_a motive_n to_o do_v this_o by_o a_o spirit_n of_o poverty_n for_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a to_o follow_v jesus_n poor_a and_o abject_a unless_o in_o due_a circumstance_n we_o be_v willing_a to_o leave_v all_o thing_n for_o jesus_n sake_n and_o become_v poor_a to_o follow_v he_o let_v we_o therefore_o be_v content_a to_o quit_v all_o thing_n joyful_o and_o be_v glad_a to_o have_v nothing_o to_o possess_v god_n himself_o alone_o 3._o '_o tisae_n good_a motive_n to_o die_v to_o all_o thing_n by_o a_o spirit_n of_o abjection_n what_o great_a happiness_n be_v there_o o_o my_o soul_n than_o to_o live_v in_o humiliation_n see_v this_o be_v the_o life_n of_o god_n upon_o earth_n to_o be_v despise_v with_o jesus_n be_v a_o state_n of_o beatitude_n worldly_n prosperity_n be_v a_o hindrance_n to_o our_o happiness_n 4._o it_o be_v a_o good_a motive_n to_o abandon_v all_o thing_n by_o a_o spirit_n of_o oblation_n sacrifice_v and_o annihilate_v ourselves_o sincere_o to_o pay_v homage_n to_o the_o infinite_a majesty_n of_o god_n with_o such_o a_o confidence_n in_o he_o so_o as_o to_o rely_v never_o more_o on_o any_o creature_n quid_fw-la enim_fw-la mihi_fw-la est_fw-la in_o caelum_fw-la aut_fw-la à _fw-la te_fw-la quid_fw-la volui_fw-la super_fw-la terram_fw-la deus_fw-la cordis_fw-la mei_fw-la o_o my_o god_n shall_v any_o creature_n take_v part_n of_o my_o heart_n with_o you_o when_o all_o be_v you_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a to_o love_v you_o too_o much_o i_o may_v give_v place_n to_o something_o else_o but_o see_v i_o be_o infinite_o below_o my_o duty_n in_o that_o particular_a what_o creature_n can_v pretend_v to_o have_v the_o least_o part_n with_o you_o chap._n ix_o of_o the_o liberty_n we_o enjoy_v by_o the_o exercise_n of_o the_o supernatural_a life_n it_o be_v wonderful_a to_o see_v the_o great_a liberty_n which_o a_o soul_n enjoy_v by_o the_o exercise_n of_o a_o supernatural_a life_n when_o the_o illumination_n of_o this_o state_n irradiate_a a_o soul_n thorough_o she_o enter_v into_o a_o new_a region_n of_o light_n full_a of_o peace_n and_o love_n marvellous_a large_a and_o spacious_a in_o which_o she_o live_v in_o high_a union_n with_o god_n a_o union_n which_o be_v not_o so_o liable_a to_o vicissitude_n and_o disturbance_n as_o former_o because_o accidental_a occurrence_n as_o sickness_n disgrace_n etc._n etc._n do_v not_o hurt_v such_o a_o soul_n by_o reason_n they_o make_v no_o strong_a impression_n in_o she_o and_o by_o consequence_n be_v become_v less_o sensible_a she_o be_v not_o easy_o divert_v from_o the_o supernatural_a object_n of_o her_o love_n yea_o such_o a_o soul_n improve_v hindrance_n and_o divertisement_n to_o her_o great_a recollection_n and_o increase_n of_o divine_a love_n because_o in_o this_o state_n she_o be_v disengaged_a from_o the_o creature_n and_o so_o free_v from_o fear_n of_o misery_n which_o she_o can_v cheerful_o embrace_v as_o the_o occasion_n of_o her_o happiness_n whereby_o she_o enter_v into_o a_o perfect_a liberty_n and_o great_a purity_n of_o virtue_n i_o can_v never_o well_o understand_v what_o that_o be_v which_o be_v call_v purity_n of_o virtue_n but_o now_o i_o see_v it_o be_v the_o state_n of_o a_o supernatural_a life_n wherein_o the_o soul_n live_v no_o more_o in_o herself_o and_o of_o herself_o and_o for_o herself_o but_o in_o god_n and_o of_o god_n and_o for_o god_n be_v whole_o separate_v from_o the_o creature_n and_o unite_v to_o god_n alas_o how_o be_v this_o poor_a soul_n afflict_v to_o do_v thing_n so_o much_o below_o herself_o in_o this_o high_a condition_n for_o oftentimes_o she_o must_v act_v according_a to_o her_o natural_a inclination_n and_o the_o dictate_v of_o pure_a reason_n which_o afford_v her_o matter_n of_o sigh_n and_o languish_n after_o her_o belove_a this_o be_v that_o which_o kindle_v in_o her_o breast_n a_o ardent_a desire_n to_o be_v dissolve_v and_o leave_v this_o earthly_a tabernacle_n wherein_o by_o the_o common_a misery_n of_o mankind_n she_o live_v a_o life_n displease_v to_o herself_o for_o be_v not_o whole_o for_o god_n as_o she_o desire_v it_o seem_v to_o her_o a_o kind_n of_o death_n and_o see_v she_o can_v continual_o live_v this_o supernatural_a life_n without_o vicissitude_n it_o be_v as_o it_o be_v a_o death_n unto_o she_o a_o death_n unknown_a to_o sensual_a man_n but_o such_o that_o be_v spiritual_a be_v very_o sensible_a thereof_o o_o jesus_n deliver_v i_o from_o this_o life_n of_o mortality_n see_v here_o i_o can_v live_v your_o life_n of_o purity_n in_o comparison_n of_o which_o all_o other_o life_n be_v but_o death_n and_o corruption_n to_o see_v so_o clear_o the_o excellency_n of_o a_o life_n so_o lovely_a and_o not_o to_o be_v able_a to_o live_v but_o little_a of_o it_o consider_v my_o frailty_n make_v i_o resent_v my_o misery_n and_o acknowledge_v dear_a jesus_n how_o necessary_a your_o grace_n be_v for_o i_o o_o how_o great_a be_v the_o dependence_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v on_o your_o mercy_n it_o be_v so_o mighty_a and_o essential_a dependence_n that_o word_n can_v sufficient_o express_v it_o however_o this_o comfort_v i_o herein_o that_o it_o give_v you_o all_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o interiour_n beauty_n in_o the_o soul_n which_o be_v a_o work_n more_o magnify_v your_o power_n bounty_n and_o wisdom_n than_o the_o whole_a outward_a work_n of_o the_o creation_n your_o great_a wonder_n dear_a saviour_n be_v secret_a and_o hide_a a_o soul_n that_o live_v this_o supernatural_a life_n above_o her_o inclination_n do_v more_o set_v forth_o the_o great_a power_n of_o god_n than_o to_o elevate_v the_o heaven_n above_o the_o earth_n for_o this_o be_v as_o miraculous_a as_o to_o elevate_v the_o earth_n above_o the_o heaven_n this_o make_v i_o o_o my_o god_n desire_v to_o live_v this_o bless_a life_n that_o i_o may_v thereby_o bring_v great_a glory_n to_o your_o name_n assist_v i_o powerful_o with_o your_o grace_n for_o if_o i_o be_v once_o left_a to_o myself_o i_o shall_v relapse_n into_o my_o natural_a weakness_n which_o be_v but_o a_o mere_a nothing_o and_o infirmity_n some_o trouble_n themselves_o too_o much_o in_o philosophise_v on_o this_o spiritual_a life_n which_o be_v needless_a it_o be_v enough_o to_o say_v the_o spirit_n of_o jesus_n must_v be_v the_o spirit_n of_o my_o interiour_n it_o be_v he_o by_o who_o i_o must_v live_v this_o life_n and_o act_v according_o and_o so_o free_a ourselves_o from_o other_o consideration_n which_o may_v hinder_v our_o liberty_n to_o follow_v this_o light_n and_o fall_v faithful_o to_o practice_n on_o the_o occasion_n of_o cross_n contempt_n and_o disgrace_n which_o happen_v to_o we_o in_o this_o life_n i_o ought_v daily_o to_o endeavour_v after_o purity_n although_o i_o can_v attain_v the_o high_a practice_n because_o the_o course_n of_o my_o life_n wherein_o god_n have_v place_v i_o will_v not_o permit_v it_o nor_o do_v exact_a of_o i_o to_o attempt_v of_o myself_o the_o grand_a effect_n of_o purity_n lest_o i_o shall_v be_v discourage_v by_o fail_v in_o the_o enterprise_n this_o be_v only_o the_o perfection_n of_o the_o great_a saint_n and_o herein_o we_o must_v give_v ourselves_o up_o to_o the_o conduct_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o jesus_n christ_n who_o be_v infinite_o wise_a we_o need_v not_o fear_v have_v he_o for_o our_o leader_n but_o as_o we_o ought_v not_o to_o be_v too_o rigorous_a so_o we_o must_v not_o be_v too_o fainthearted_a in_o the_o way_n of_o perfection_n but_o apply_v ourselves_o with_o love_n and_o resolution_n to_o all_o occasion_n by_o suffer_v peaceable_o and_o with_o contentation_n whatever_o injury_n we_o may_v receive_v from_o other_o in_o seek_v too_o much_o their_o own_o interest_n all_o suffering_n be_v to_o be_v entertain_v with_o love_n but_o especial_o what_o we_o suffer_v by_o injustice_n for_o be_v not_o this_o that_o which_o the_o son_n of_o god_n have_v do_v principal_o upon_o earth_n by_o suffer_v innocent_o do_v not_o therefore_o say_v i_o will_v suffer_v this_o injury_n if_o he_o that_o do_v it_o have_v the_o least_o reason_n for_o it_o for_o this_o proceed_v from_o self-love_n and_o passion_n it_o may_v well_o be_v that_o he_o have_v no_o reason_n to_o do_v you_o this_o injury_n but_o divine_a reason_n and_o the_o spirit_n of_o christianity_n teach_v you_o to_o bear_v it_o patient_o it_o be_v good_a to_o suffer_v thus_o and_o in_o this_o to_o imitate_v jesus_n be_v
purity_n in_o the_o soul_n we_o find_v the_o presence_n of_o god_n in_o we_o and_o the_o follow_a instruction_n in_o my_o judgement_n may_v conduce_v to_o purify_v the_o soul_n and_o preserve_v she_o in_o purity_n 1._o a_o indifference_n to_o every_o condition_n to_o any_o employ_v whatsoever_o whereby_o god_n may_v be_v glorify_v 2._o to_o be_v regular_a in_o our_o exterior_a action_n not_o to_o busy_v ourselves_o too_o much_o and_o to_o do_v they_o with_o great_a attention_n 3._o to_o be_v well_o root_v in_o the_o spirit_n of_o mortification_n to_o love_v suffer_v and_o humiliation_n a_o manifest_a sign_n of_o a_o purify_a interiour_n 4._o to_o have_v a_o great_a love_n for_o jesus_n christ_n die_v on_o the_o cross_n for_o we_o 5._o to_o have_v a_o continual_a recourse_n to_o god_n for_o a_o supply_n of_o his_o grace_n with_o a_o constant_a dependence_n on_o it_o 6._o to_o be_v dead_a to_o the_o world_n and_o worldly_a thing_n it_o be_v say_v that_o god_n be_v in_o the_o fond_a of_o the_o soul_n and_o there_o be_v hide_v so_o as_o to_o find_v he_o we_o must_v hide_v ourselves_o there_o also_o by_o recollection_n and_o a_o internal_a life_n which_o spiritual_a author_n call_v the_o state_n of_o introversion_n the_o night_n time_n be_v most_o conduce_v to_o advanee_n this_o disposition_n when_o all_o creature_n be_v in_o a_o manner_n dead_a to_o we_o make_v no_o impression_n on_o our_o sense_n whereby_o we_o better_o conserve_v that_o reverence_n we_o owe_v to_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n in_o we_o o_o how_o many_o irreverence_n be_v we_o guilty_a of_o on_o this_o account_n we_o leave_v he_o alone_o when_o we_o perceive_v he_o be_v in_o the_o fond_a of_o our_o soul_n to_o receive_v our_o homage_v and_o we_o turn_v our_o eye_n from_o his_o majesty_n though_o he_o regard_v we_o just_o as_o if_o one_o by_o special_a favour_n admit_v into_o the_o closet_n of_o his_o prince_n to_o converse_v with_o he_o shall_v present_o turn_v his_o head_n to_o look_v out_o of_o the_o window_n to_o behold_v the_o passenger_n a_o soul_n that_o be_v sensible_a of_o god_n presence_n be_v not_o guilty_a of_o such_o ordinary_a miscarriage_n the_o least_o word_n or_o action_n that_o tend_v not_o to_o god_n be_v troublesome_a to_o she_o because_o that_o be_v unwilling_a to_o leave_v that_o respect_n she_o owe_v to_o god_n presence_n she_o fear_v the_o least_o irreverence_n as_o death_n and_o see_v that_o all_o creature_n be_v nothing_o to_o the_o creator_n she_o often_o cry_v out_o quis_fw-la ut_fw-la deus_fw-la deus_fw-la meus_fw-la &_o omne_fw-la who_o be_v like_a unto_o god_n my_o god_n be_v all_o in_o all_o unto_o my_o heart_n in_o this_o state_n the_o soul_n have_v not_o only_o a_o great_a respect_n for_o god_n as_o god_n but_o for_o jesus_n christ_n god_n and_o man_n and_o for_o his_o doctrine_n and_o for_o his_o maxim_n the_o privation_n of_o all_o creature_n do_v relish_v better_a with_o she_o than_o the_o possession_n know_v for_o certain_a that_o to_o enjoy_v god_n by_o such_o happy_a experience_n be_v of_o more_o worth_n than_o the_o world_n chap._n v._o that_o our_o union_n with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n aught_o to_o be_v the_o rule_n of_o our_o action_n that_o soul_n have_v no_o small_a obligation_n to_o god_n who_o manifest_v his_o presence_n in_o her_o interiour_n and_o make_v her_o sensible_a of_o this_o bless_a union_n i_o know_v very_o well_o that_o this_o union_n be_v so_o full_a of_o sweetness_n and_o desirable_a that_o it_o be_v of_o more_o worth_n than_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o all_o creature_n but_o it_o be_v also_o full_a of_o extreme_a rigour_n separate_v a_o soul_n without_o any_o pity_n from_o whatsoever_o nature_n love_v most_o dear_o she_o must_v then_o bid_v adieu_o to_o the_o most_o innocent_a pleasure_n by_o be_v general_o dead_a to_o all_o thing_n but_o god_n or_o what_o relate_v to_o he_o o_o what_o a_o pain_n be_v it_o not_o to_o dare_v because_o god_n be_v present_a to_o be_v complacent_fw-la to_o our_o friend_n or_o be_v serviceable_a to_o they_o with_o a_o natural_a inclination_n but_o only_o upon_o a_o motive_n of_o grace_n for_o such_o a_o soul_n must_v not_o follow_v the_o order_n of_o nature_n as_o from_o nature_n but_o as_o elevate_v by_o grace_n if_o the_o world_n call_v upon_o we_o let_v we_o not_o regard_v it_o for_o it_o will_v withdraw_v we_o from_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n to_o please_v ourselves_o or_o other_o by_o divertisement_n a_o soul_n attract_v to_o enjoy_v the_o presence_n of_o god_n have_v another_o rule_n those_o who_o be_v not_o thus_o attract_v nor_o have_v this_o enjoyment_n may_v do_v well_o to_o comply_v with_o their_o neighbour_n by_o charitable_a complacence_n the_o fidelity_n which_o a_o soul_n owe_v to_o god_n present_a require_v of_o she_o not_o to_o charge_v herself_o with_o affair_n but_o what_o be_v necessary_a and_o to_o manage_v they_o with_o the_o spirit_n of_o indifferency_n aim_v only_o to_o do_v god_n will_v which_o sometime_o we_o meet_v with_o as_o well_o in_o ill_a as_o good_a success_n she_o must_v be_v more_o take_v up_o with_o god_n than_o those_o affair_n know_v well_o no_o business_n be_v of_o great_a importance_n than_o to_o conserve_v her_o union_n with_o god_n present_a it_o no_o less_o concern_v she_o to_o be_v well_o resign_v to_o the_o order_n of_o divine_a providence_n to_o be_v content_a with_o poverty_n with_o misery_n with_o desolation_n never_o seek_v deliverance_n upon_o natural_a motive_n but_o be_v please_v with_o abjection_n and_o humiliation_n to_o say_v with_o st._n paul_n placeo_fw-la mihi_fw-la in_o infirmitatibus_fw-la i_o be_o well_o please_v with_o my_o infirmity_n such_o a_o soul_n will_v give_v herself_o up_o absolute_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n to_o let_v he_o work_v she_o into_o what_o form_n he_o please_v as_o soft_a wax_n and_o set_v what_o impression_n he_o think_v best_o upon_o she_o receive_v all_o with_o profound_a humility_n and_o if_o she_o be_v leave_v naked_a she_o rest_v content_v o_o how_o a_o soul_n so_o dead_a to_o all_o creature_n be_v a_o please_a mansion_n for_o god_n to_o dwell_v in_o it_o be_v his_o delight_n to_o take_v there_o his_o habitation_n o_o how_o a_o soul_n that_o find_v god_n thus_o present_a with_o she_o be_v trouble_v to_o be_v oblige_v to_o quit_v the_o sweetness_n of_o his_o presence_n and_o when_o this_o be_v often_o make_v life_n somewhat_o troublesome_a and_o she_o cry_v out_o o_o my_o god_n the_o well-beloved_a of_o my_o soul_n when_o will_v you_o deliver_v i_o from_o this_o burdensome_a necessity_n this_o be_v the_o great_a of_o misery_n to_o be_v deprive_v of_o all_o creature_n be_v no_o misery_n in_o comparison_n but_o to_o be_v deprive_v of_o you_o to_o enjoy_v who_o i_o be_v create_v and_o without_o who_o i_o can_v but_o be_v miserable_a make_v i_o cry_v out_o quando_fw-la veniam_fw-la &_o apparebo_fw-la ante_fw-la faciem_fw-la tuam_fw-la o_o when_o shall_v i_o come_v to_o enjoy_v your_o presence_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o i_o be_o like_o a_o traveller_n who_o see_v a_o far_o off_o a_o high_a mountain_n and_o the_o way_n before_o he_o but_o be_v on_o foot_n he_o must_v sweat_v to_o get_v thither_o in_o like_a manner_n i_o have_v some_o prospect_n of_o perfection_n and_o the_o obligation_n of_o a_o soul_n long_v after_o god_n but_o i_o can_v accomplish_v they_o however_o i_o have_v a_o desire_n and_o i_o stand_v in_o need_n of_o a_o abundance_n of_o grace_n to_o mount_v to_o perfection_n holy_a virgin_n mother_n of_o god_n intercede_v for_o i_o that_o i_o may_v receive_v a_o participation_n of_o your_o grace_n to_o enable_v and_o conduct_v i_o in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n we_o must_v have_v a_o care_n that_o the_o contentment_n we_o enjoy_v by_o this_o union_n with_o god_n present_a do_v not_o exclude_v a_o union_n with_o the_o cross_n contempt_n poverty_n and_o suffering_n a_o strict_a tie_n to_o the_o interiour_n of_o jesus_n glorify_v do_v require_v also_o a_o strict_a conjunction_n to_o the_o interiour_n of_o jesus_n crucify_a those_o two_o union_n go_v hand_n in_o hand_n here_o it_o be_v impossible_a to_o have_v part_n in_o the_o state_n of_o jesus_n in_o heaven_n without_o have_v part_n in_o the_o state_n of_o jesus_n on_o earth_n let_v we_o take_v courage_n and_o love_n as_o yet_o rather_o to_o suffer_v than_o enjoy_v we_o have_v but_o this_o short_a life_n to_o suffer_v in_o but_o our_o enjoyment_n shall_v be_v to_o all_o eternity_n chap._n vi_o that_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n in_o we_o put_v we_o in_o a_o state_n of_o suffer_v and_o enjoy_v perfection_n do_v not_o consist_v in_o a_o general_a freedom_n from_o interiour_n and_o exterior_a trouble_n hitherto_o my_o weakness_n can_v not_o comprehend_v how_o a_o soul_n at_o the_o same_o time_n may_v be_v happy_a
that_o purity_n wherewith_o i_o ought_v to_o love_v he_o who_o be_v essential_o good_a and_o perfect_a i_o know_v god_n be_v a_o jealous_a god_n who_o will_v admit_v no_o rival_n in_o his_o love_n and_o that_o with_o great_a reason_n because_o he_o be_v only_o true_o amiable_a as_o our_o sovereign_a good_a o_o that_o he_o be_v love_v according_a to_o his_o beauty_n my_o soul_n be_v inflame_v with_o a_o great_a desire_n to_o disengage_v herself_o from_o all_o creature_n that_o i_o may_v whole_o be_v busy_v about_o god_n alone_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o this_o be_v my_o principal_n concern_v and_o not_o to_o meddle_v with_o other_o affair_n without_o necessity_n for_o a_o soul_n who_o god_n attract_v to_o a_o sublime_a union_n with_o himself_o must_v cut_v off_o abundance_n of_o superfluous_a thought_n discourse_n and_o occupation_n or_o else_o she_o will_v be_v liable_a to_o a_o thousand_o amusement_n for_o my_o part_n i_o often_o say_v to_o myself_o come_v my_o soul_n let_v we_o to_o our_o principal_a work_n and_o let_v the_o rest_n alone_o that_o do_v but_o estrange_v we_o from_o our_o happiness_n we_o must_v live_v a_o life_n more_o retire_v than_o ordinary_a with_o great_a silence_n and_o attention_n to_o god_n and_o holy_a duty_n this_o life_n will_v seem_v a_o little_a abject_a and_o will_v not_o be_v so_o please_v to_o many_o who_o be_v for_o unprofitable_a recreation_n but_o will_v be_v amiable_a to_o such_o who_o be_v whole_o take_v up_o with_o the_o exercise_n of_o divine_a love_n in_o a_o belove_a retirement_n for_o they_o have_v tltogether_o give_v themselves_o up_o to_o the_o good_a pleasure_n of_o god_n and_o love_v nothing_o but_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o his_o holy_a will_n this_o perfect_a abandon_v be_v wrought_v in_o we_o by_o pure_a love_n and_o this_o pure_a love_n can_v reign_v in_o our_o heart_n without_o a_o generous_a mortification_n to_o all_o creature_n and_o a_o freedom_n from_o a_o attach_n to_o imperfection_n this_o death_n do_v work_v but_o according_a to_o the_o measure_n of_o our_o love_n to_o suffering_n which_o suffering_n for_o god_n wonderful_o unite_v we_o to_o he_o with_o the_o bond_n of_o perfection_n purity_n love_n suffer_v god_n what_o will_v we_o more_o if_o providence_n so_o order_n i_o shall_v free_o forsake_v my_o solitude_n though_o most_o dear_a to_o i_o i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o die_v to_o all_o thing_n to_o apply_v myself_o whole_o to_o god_n pleasure_n and_o sacrifice_n myself_o and_o whatever_o i_o have_v to_o his_o holy_a will._n have_v he_o a_o mind_n to_o reduce_v i_o to_o my_o first_o nothing_o if_o he_o will_v have_v it_o so_o i_o be_o content_a will_v he_o have_v i_o in_o a_o suffer_a condition_n he_o will_v be_v do_v neither_o will_v i_o complain_v but_o have_v recourse_n to_o jesus_n suffer_v for_o i_o on_o the_o cross_n and_o rest_v content_v with_o his_o good_a pleasure_n a_o soul_n that_o love_v god_n and_o his_o will_n more_o than_o the_o creature_n be_v content_a and_o peaceable_a in_o all_o event_n see_v faith_n assure_v she_o that_o the_o will_n of_o god_n be_v accomplish_v therein_o she_o embrace_v misery_n and_o affliction_n as_o proper_a mean_n for_o her_o sanctification_n and_o discover_v more_o clear_o therein_o the_o good_a pleasure_n of_o god_n then_o in_o prosperity_n o_o my_o soul_n we_o must_v now_o give_v ourselves_o to_o god_n in_o good_a earnest_n indeed_o by_o embrace_v contempt_n and_o poverty_n forsake_v the_o vain_a respect_n of_o the_o world_n and_o sensual_a delight_n to_o expose_v a_o penitent_a poor_a hide_a abject_a life_n so_o contrary_a to_o worldly_a man_n methinks_v hitherto_o i_o have_v have_v but_o idea_n now_o i_o desire_v to_o fall_v to_o the_o practice_n of_o perfection_n after_o the_o example_n of_o st._n elizabeth_n while_o she_o be_v a_o princess_n how_o do_v she_o abhor_v the_o life_n of_o worldling_n and_o what_o love_n have_v she_o for_o a_o poor_a abject_a life_n o_o my_o god_n when_o shall_v i_o give_v you_o the_o practice_n of_o so_o many_o excellent_a truth_n whereof_o you_o have_v give_v i_o the_o knowledge_n by_o heavenly_a illumination_n o_o my_o god_n speak_v powerful_a to_o my_o heart_n and_o make_v i_o faithful_a in_o my_o obedience_n take_v from_o i_o all_o other_o thing_n and_o attach_v i_o entire_o to_o your_o good_a pleasure_n chap._n xii_o we_o ought_v to_o comport_v ourselves_o with_o a_o respectful_a reverence_n in_o god_n presence_n a_o soul_n that_o see_v god_n present_a with_o she_o by_o the_o light_n of_o faith_n will_v often_o time_n feel_v in_o herself_o the_o great_a veneration_n she_o have_v for_o so_o infinite_a a_o majesty_n and_o benefactor_n she_o can_v but_o have_v a_o respectful_a regard_n for_o all_o the_o inspiration_n and_o secret_a advice_n conduce_v to_o perfection_n all_o good_a desire_n which_o come_v from_o god_n yea_o she_o have_v a_o reverence_n and_o love_n for_o cross_n that_o come_v from_o the_o hand_n of_o her_o sovereign_a good_a the_o soul_n in_o this_o state_n be_v peaceable_a and_o may_v so_o continue_v a_o long_a time_n o_o my_o soul_n remember_v this_o well_o and_o when_o any_o thing_n come_v into_o thy_o thought_n which_o thou_o believe_v to_o be_v a_o inspiration_n cherish_v it_o with_o great_a respect_n and_o be_v faithful_a to_o the_o design_n of_o god_n upon_o thou_o according_a to_o the_o measure_n of_o their_o manifestation_n o_o what_o irreverence_n will_v thou_o be_v guilty_a of_o not_o to_o be_v faithful_a in_o such_o case_n above_o all_o be_v content_a to_o look_v upon_o cross_n and_o humiliation_n with_o respect_n and_o love_n and_o hold_v thyself_o happy_a to_o be_v account_v worthy_a to_o suffer_v for_o christ_n sake_n vobis_fw-la datum_fw-la est_fw-la ut_fw-la in_o jesum_fw-la credatis_fw-la &_o pro_fw-la eo_fw-la patiamini_fw-la god_n be_v please_v to_o manifest_v to_o i_o with_o what_o disposition_n i_o ought_v to_o walk_v in_o his_o presence_n and_o in_o his_o way_n namely_o humility_n patience_n longanimity_n simplicity_n and_o purity_n when_o we_o find_v ourselves_o in_o good_a disposition_n of_o heart_n humility_n make_v a_o soul_n to_o esteem_v it_o high_o be_v it_o never_o so_o small_a and_o think_v herself_o happy_a to_o have_v it_o because_o she_o deserve_v nothing_o yea_o be_v rather_o worthy_a of_o eternal_a punishment_n this_o will_v free_v we_o from_o sadness_n and_o discouragement_n when_o we_o see_v other_o glitter_v with_o great_a grace_n and_o pull_v down_o our_o pride_n from_o exalt_v ourselves_o high_a than_o god_n will_v have_v we_o to_o be_v moreover_o by_o patience_n the_o soul_n be_v well_o compose_v and_o labour_n after_o perfection_n with_o courage_n and_o perseverance_n be_v the_o time_n never_o so_o long_o before_o god_n bestow_v on_o she_o the_o gift_n of_o prayer_n by_o longanimity_n the_o soul_n suffer_v and_o support_v herself_o in_o her_o defect_n and_o imperfection_n so_o that_o self-love_n shall_v not_o discourage_v she_o in_o her_o endeavour_n simplicity_n make_v she_o still_o to_o have_v a_o eye_n to_o god_n and_o to_o follow_v his_o conduct_n whereby_o at_o length_n she_o arrive_v to_o purity_n our_o chief_a work_n must_v be_v to_o do_v penance_n with_o all_o humility_n and_o if_o god_n give_v we_o not_o the_o gift_n of_o sublime_a prayer_n and_o eminent_a virtue_n to_o abide_v peaceable_a in_o that_o little_a we_o have_v and_o we_o shall_v find_v favour_n in_o the_o eye_n of_o god_n what_o we_o ordinary_o want_v be_v a_o noble_a generosity_n to_o support_v cross_n and_o surmount_v the_o contradiction_n we_o meet_v with_o from_o nature_n in_o the_o occasion_n of_o fidelity_n these_o difficulty_n make_v we_o timorous_a and_o fearful_a but_o we_o must_v be_v content_a to_o be_v feeble_a that_o the_o power_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o jesus_n christ_n may_v be_v glorify_v in_o we_o when_o i_o be_o weak_a then_o be_o i_o strong_a say_v st._n paul_n virtus_n in_o infirmitate_fw-la perficitur_fw-la this_o acknowledgement_n of_o our_o weakness_n do_v wonderful_o humble_v we_o and_o open_v our_o eye_n to_o see_v our_o own_o poverty_n and_o the_o great_a need_n we_o have_v to_o rely_v on_o the_o grace_n of_o jesus_n christ_n i_o find_v that_o god_n require_v of_o i_o to_o be_v faithful_a in_o these_o follow_a practice_n 1._o first_o i_o must_v be_v very_o indifferent_a to_o whatsoever_o it_o shall_v please_v god_n to_o do_v with_o i_o and_o to_o be_v content_a either_o with_o action_n or_o suffer_v be_v attent_a whole_o to_o his_o good_a pleasure_n why_o therefore_o shall_v i_o long_o after_o the_o grace_n of_o other_o because_o great_a and_o glorious_a it_o be_v enough_o for_o i_o to_o bless_v god_n for_o they_o and_o be_v faithful_a to_o my_o own_o with_o peace_n and_o contentedness_n see_v our_o happiness_n consist_v in_o serve_v god_n in_o what_o manner_n he_o please_v 2._o when_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o
and_o redeemer_n to_o lie_v out_o thyself_o upon_o the_o creature_n and_o not_o correspond_v to_o his_o inspiration_n who_o call_v thou_o to_o himself_o what_o a_o horrible_a infidelity_n will_v this_o be_v let_v we_o not_o grieve_v the_o holy_a spirit_n by_o who_o we_o be_v seal_v to_o the_o day_n of_o redemption_n the_o subject_n of_o my_o three_o prayer_n be_v the_o admirable_a oeconomy_n of_o the_o incarnation_n in_o that_o by_o the_o excess_n of_o love_n and_o goodness_n god_n be_v make_v man_n and_o man_n become_v god_n i_o have_v profound_a veneration_n for_o the_o adorable_a humanity_n absorb_v in_o the_o divinity_n and_o with_o a_o amorous_a confidence_n behold_v the_o divinity_n as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v in_o the_o humanity_n which_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o a_o tabernacle_n of_o honour_n where_o god_n dwell_v with_o infinite_a delight_n this_o humanity_n also_o in_o a_o manner_n divinize_v take_v infinite_a delight_n in_o the_o divinity_n from_o whence_o it_o receive_v wonderful_a impression_n of_o annihilation_n to_o be_v poor_a abject_a and_o despise_v crucify_a for_o after_o god_n be_v make_v man_n he_o inspire_v the_o humanity_n with_o ardent_a desire_n and_o love_n of_o suffering_n for_o we_o man_n and_o our_o salvation_n o_o jesus_n when_o you_o communicate_v yourself_o to_o a_o soul_n she_o receive_v impression_n from_o you_o which_o incline_v she_o to_o a_o love_n of_o contempt_n and_o suffering_n and_o when_o a_o soul_n feel_v in_o herself_o the_o great_a propension_n to_o suffering_n and_o self-denial_n it_o be_v then_o she_o most_o participate_v of_o your_o communication_n and_o have_v the_o great_a assurance_n of_o they_o for_o o_o good_a jesus_n your_o spirit_n be_v full_a of_o such_o impression_n from_o the_o divinity_n and_o the_o soul_n where_o you_o reign_v as_o king_n do_v infallible_o receive_v the_o like_a impression_n from_o your_o presence_n in_o my_o four_o prayer_n i_o be_v touch_v with_o a_o great_a desire_n to_o leave_v this_o mortal_a life_n so_o full_a of_o sin_n and_o misery_n and_o deprive_v of_o the_o beatifical_a vision_n of_o god_n my_o saviour_n oh_o how_o irksome_a be_v it_o not_o to_o be_v in_o a_o capacity_n to_o contemplate_v at_o leisure_n this_o infinite_a beauty_n this_o essence_n full_a of_o infinite_a perfection_n this_o only_a true_a object_n of_o the_o love_n of_o heaven_n and_o earth_n o_o when_o shall_v i_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o prison_n of_o flesh_n that_o i_o may_v behold_v jesus_n the_o light_n of_o my_o eye_n and_o joy_n of_o my_o heart_n must_v i_o yet_o continue_v long_o in_o this_o banishment_n what_o a_o cross_n be_v it_o to_o live_v here_o what_o a_o punishment_n be_v the_o delay_n death_n how_o welcome_a will_v thou_o be_v in_o my_o embrace_n we_o must_v languish_v with_o love_n after_o the_o infinite_a beauty_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o sigh_v to_o enjoy_v he_o o_o my_o soul_n do_v not_o amuse_v thyself_o with_o creature_n love_v the_o cross_n which_o be_v the_o highway_n to_o happiness_n be_v it_o possible_a to_o believe_v in_o jesus_n christ_n and_o love_v he_o and_o to_o languish_v with_o desire_n to_o enjoy_v he_o to_o stand_v much_o in_o fear_n of_o death_n be_v a_o sign_n we_o have_v little_a desire_n to_o see_v the_o infinite_a beauty_n of_o god_n see_v death_n only_o open_v the_o gate_n of_o paradise_n o_o death_n thou_o be_v desirable_a come_v and_o put_v i_o in_o possession_n of_o the_o object_n of_o my_o love_n that_o i_o may_v live_v with_o jesus_n who_o be_v the_o source_n of_o life_n and_o the_o joy_n of_o the_o bless_a in_o the_o interim_n o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o have_v neither_o love_n nor_o life_n nor_o operation_n but_o what_o be_v in_o he_o and_o for_o he_o our_o sovereign_a happiness_n vivit_fw-la in_o i_o christus_fw-la eight_o day_n jesus_n our_o light_n jesus_n be_v present_a to_o i_o in_o my_o first_o prayer_n as_o the_o light_n of_o the_o world_n which_o discover_v to_o i_o such_o a_o beauty_n in_o the_o mystery_n of_o our_o religion_n with_o ray_n of_o a_o new_a light_n that_o i_o see_v more_o than_o ever_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n and_o the_o strange_a sottishness_n of_o such_o man_n who_o prefer_v the_o darkness_n of_o falsehood_n before_o the_o light_n of_o truth_n insanias_fw-la falsas_fw-la the_o beam_n of_o this_o light_a work_n wonder_n in_o a_o soul_n for_o it_o leave_v such_o impression_n as_o bring_v she_o to_o know_v truth_n in_o another_o manner_n then_o by_o the_o sole_a light_n of_o reason_n or_o faith_n either_o if_o we_o be_v in_o the_o closet_n of_o some_o great_a king_n in_o the_o dark_a we_o know_v well_o there_o be_v excellent_a piece_n there_o we_o may_v know_v their_o number_n bigness_n and_o value_n of_o the_o precious_a stone_n the_o rareness_n of_o the_o paint_n and_o what_o else_o we_o see_v not_o but_o when_o once_o the_o least_o light_n of_o day_n appear_v than_o we_o begin_v to_o have_v a_o view_n of_o all_o their_o riches_n beauty_n and_o excellency_n and_o the_o whole_a order_n of_o the_o closet_n salute_v our_o eye_n and_o in_o admiration_n thereof_o we_o be_v take_v with_o it_o in_o a_o extraordinary_a manner_n when_o it_o please_v god_n to_o give_v we_o a_o sight_n of_o his_o divine_a beauty_n discover_v they_o to_o a_o soul_n by_o the_o least_o ray_n of_o his_o heavenly_a light_n than_o the_o soul_n be_v wonderful_o affect_v and_o be_v more_o than_o ever_o transport_v with_o admiration_n look_v upon_o all_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n as_o nothing_o i'faith_o indeed_o give_v we_o a_o certain_a assurance_n of_o her_o object_n but_o leave_v in_o obscurity_n but_o one_o sole_a ray_n from_o the_o eye_n of_o jesus_n when_o he_o be_v please_v to_o dart_v it_o into_o a_o soul_n do_v confirm_v fortify_v encourage_v and_o refresh_v she_o with_o illustration_n extraordinary_a and_o sovereign_a consolation_n accedite_fw-la ad_fw-la eum_fw-la &_o illuminamini_fw-la we_o can_v approach_v to_o jesus_n and_o not_o be_v enlighten_v i_o come_v to_o know_v in_o my_o second_o prayer_n that_o when_o jesus_n be_v please_v to_o manifest_v himself_o to_o a_o soul_n he_o infuse_v a_o light_n into_o she_o which_o give_v she_o a_o marvellous_a facility_n to_o believe_v the_o verity_n of_o the_o word_n incarnate_a she_o have_v a_o certainty_n and_o as_o it_o be_v experience_n that_o his_o thought_n his_o word_n his_o action_n his_o proceed_n his_o doctrine_n his_o suffering_n be_v divine_a and_o bring_v a_o sovereign_a honour_n to_o the_o divinity_n o_o science_n of_o jesus_n how_o be_v thou_o sweet_a and_o admirable_a all_o other_o knowledge_n in_o respect_n of_o thou_o be_v but_o ignorance_n and_o vanity_n i_o have_v by_o the_o great_a goodness_n of_o god_n have_v some_o little_a experience_n to_o know_v jesus_n in_o this_o manner_n but_o i_o can_v express_v it_o the_o more_o this_o knowledge_n increase_v the_o less_o be_v it_o explicable_a the_o profound_a attention_n to_o jesus_n do_v so_o take_v up_o my_o spirit_n that_o it_o take_v away_o my_o speech_n it_o call_v i_o from_o all_o creature_n to_o converse_v with_o he_o alone_o and_o draw_v i_o out_o of_o myself_o to_o be_v ravish_v with_o he_o o_o world_n how_o blind_a be_v thou_o not_o to_o see_v the_o beauty_n of_o the_o poor_a and_o abject_a state_n of_o jesus_n his_o doctrine_n and_o his_o maxim_n be_v the_o only_a true_a light_n all_o that_o thou_o have_v o_o ignorant_a world_n seduce_v by_o the_o prince_n of_o darkness_n be_v but_o mere_a darkness_n thy_o opinion_n thy_o employment_n thy_o hope_n thy_o fear_n thy_o desire_n thy_o entertainment_n be_v but_o darkness_n and_o disorder_n thou_o stumble_v almost_o at_o every_o step_n because_o thou_o walk_v in_o darkness_n out_o of_o which_o thou_o can_v never_o get_v but_o by_o jesus_n christ_n for_o as_o the_o sun_n be_v the_o principle_n of_o corporal_a light_n to_o the_o world_n so_o christ_n the_o sun_n of_o righteousness_n be_v the_o source_n of_o all_o spiritual_a light_n and_o who_o his_o grace_n and_o doctrine_n do_v not_o enlighten_v they_o wander_v in_o darkness_n ego_fw-la sum_fw-la lux_fw-la mundi_fw-la qui_fw-la sequitur_fw-la i_o non_fw-la ambulat_fw-la in_o tenebris_fw-la my_o three_o prayer_n pass_v in_o continual_a astonishment_n in_o that_o i_o have_v so_o little_o know_v jesus_n christ_n and_o of_o that_o extreme_a blindness_n wherein_o i_o have_v live_v at_o present_a i_o have_v almost_o a_o continual_a sight_n and_o a_o sweet_a and_o forceable_a inclination_n to_o regard_v this_o admirable_a object_n so_o that_o i_o think_v every_o moment_n lose_v which_o be_v not_o so_o employ_v to_o behold_v he_o with_o amorous_a affection_n be_v a_o cure_n for_o all_o my_o evil_n for_o when_o my_o soul_n be_v afflict_v with_o fear_n of_o lose_v god_n favour_n or_o with_o experience_n of_o her_o misery_n or_o with_o difficulty_n about_o perfection_n one_o
gracious_a look_n from_o jesus_n do_v easy_o scatter_v these_o cloud_n appease_v this_o storm_n and_o bring_v a_o calm_a and_o serenity_n to_o my_o soul_n methinks_v i_o see_v clear_o that_o diffidence_n in_o ourselves_o and_o confidence_n in_o jesus_n to_o keep_v ourselves_o at_o his_o foot_n in_o prayer_n or_o any_o other_o manner_n near_o he_o as_o grace_n shall_v suggest_v be_v a_o excellent_a mean_n to_o pray_v well_o and_o to_o receive_v from_o the_o father_n of_o light_n what_o be_v necessary_a to_o advance_v we_o in_o our_o way_n to_o perfection_n we_o must_v well_o observe_v that_o what_o light_n and_o motion_n we_o have_v from_o grace_n do_v more_o unite_v we_o to_o god_n by_o proficiency_n in_o virtue_n but_o natural_a light_n and_o sentiment_n do_v not_o produce_v the_o like_a effect_n for_o example_n i_o may_v see_v my_o frailty_n and_o weakness_n by_o knowledge_n acquire_v by_o experience_n of_o the_o misery_n of_o this_o life_n i_o may_v know_v the_o same_o also_o by_o the_o light_n of_o grace_n grace_n with_o knowledge_n give_v i_o also_o strength_n and_o courage_n to_o humble_v myself_o to_o confess_v my_o frailty_n to_o have_v recourse_n to_o god_n for_o his_o assistance_n a_o natural_a light_n have_v not_o the_o like_a effect_n but_o leave_v a_o man_n in_o his_o pride_n and_o misery_n or_o what_o be_v worse_o in_o sadness_n and_o disconsolation_n our_o bless_a saviour_n in_o my_o four_o prayer_n give_v i_o a_o sight_n and_o sentiment_n of_o his_o adorable_a person_n above_o all_o expression_n the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v fix_v to_o behold_v the_o beauty_n the_o goodness_n the_o grandeur_n and_o perfection_n of_o that_o admirable_a compositum_fw-la my_o will_n can_v not_o be_v satisfy_v with_o those_o pleasure_n and_o contentment_n she_o then_o receive_v o_o what_o great_a happiness_n do_v a_o enlarge_a soul_n receive_v when_o the_o veil_n be_v a_o little_a draw_v from_o these_o divine_a mystery_n methinks_v i_o can_v have_v stand_v behold_v this_o divine_a object_n all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n i_o consider_v chief_o that_o the_o holy_a soul_n of_o jesus_n be_v enlighten_v with_o the_o divinity_n to_o know_v what_o measure_v he_o ought_v to_o take_v during_o his_o mortal_a life_n to_o fulfil_v the_o decree_n of_o his_o eternal_a father_n his_o wonderful_a wisdom_n in_o choose_v a_o humble_a poor_a and_o suffer_a life_n to_o instruct_v we_o man_n and_o give_v we_o example_n and_o that_o worldly_a wisdom_n be_v but_o mere_a folly_n false_a and_o pernicious_a to_o her_o follower_n in_o this_o view_n of_o jesus_n every_o thing_n in_o he_o seem_v to_o i_o charm_v and_o admirable_a not_o the_o least_o glance_n from_o his_o eye_n or_o word_n from_o his_o mouth_n or_o sigh_n or_o tear_v from_o he_o but_o at_o present_a be_v to_o i_o a_o object_n of_o infinite_a delight_n and_o seem_v to_o i_o sufficient_a to_o take_v up_o a_o soul_n for_o ever_o with_o contemplation_n but_o the_o contemplation_n of_o god_n must_v be_v accompany_v with_o imitation_n and_o by_o the_o conduct_n of_o his_o grace_n we_o must_v enter_v into_o his_o state_n poor_a abject_a and_o suffer_v it_o be_v in_o vain_a to_o think_v to_o attain_v to_o perfection_n any_o other_o way_n the_o only_a imitation_n and_o conformity_n to_o jesus_n make_v the_o soul_n capable_a of_o pure_a contemplation_n and_o contemplation_n will_v preserve_v she_o in_o this_o conformity_n nine_o day_n jesus_n suffer_v and_o die_v jesus_n in_o the_o idea_n of_o ecce_fw-la homo_fw-la crown_v with_o thorn_n clad_v with_o a_o purple_a robe_n in_o derision_n buffet_v mock_v spit_v upon_o and_o scourge_v be_v the_o object_n and_o subject_n of_o my_o morning_n prayer_n i_o take_v great_a gust_n though_o full_a of_o compassion_n to_o see_v he_o in_o this_o posture_n because_o he_o himself_o be_v never_o more_o satisfy_v in_o that_o he_o can_v never_o better_o satisfy_v his_o father_n and_o present_o i_o say_v o_o my_o jesus_n you_o be_v never_o thus_o array_v before_o now_o all_o the_o glory_n of_o mount_n tabor_n do_v not_o clothe_v you_o with_o such_o beauty_n doubtless_o the_o eternal_a father_n take_v infinite_a complacency_n to_o behold_v you_o in_o this_o state_n for_o you_o be_v a_o holocaust_n all_o surround_v with_o dolour_n and_o death_n with_o contempt_n and_o annihilation_n in_o this_o entertainment_n i_o communicate_v and_o receive_v my_o jesus_n in_o this_o state_n who_o speak_v in_o this_o manner_n to_o my_o soul_n i_o come_v to_o thou_o to_o make_v thou_o like_o myself_o thou_o will_v be_v never_o whole_o acceptable_a to_o i_o or_o my_o divine_a father_n till_o thou_o become_v like_o i_o i_o then_o find_v in_o myself_o a_o great_a desire_n to_o be_v so_o and_o that_o i_o may_v take_v content_o all_o disgrace_n and_o loss_n that_o any_o accident_n bring_v upon_o i_o as_o so_o many_o advantage_n to_o make_v i_o like_a to_o my_o saviour_n ecce_fw-la homo_fw-la i_o than_o remain_v much_o comfort_v and_o fortify_v and_o very_o devout_a to_o jesus_n in_o this_o state_n in_o my_o second_o prayer_n i_o find_v my_o soul_n attract_v with_o a_o wonderful_a gust_n to_o behold_v jesus_n crucify_v a_o spectacle_n please_v to_o the_o eternal_a father_n the_o comfort_n of_o heaven_n and_o the_o terror_n of_o hell_n i_o discover_v a_o certain_a way_n of_o beauty_n which_o clothe_v the_o horror_n of_o calvary_n with_o wonderful_a comeliness_n o_o my_o god_n say_v i_o what_o pleasure_n be_v it_o to_o see_v the_o god_n of_o beauty_n die_v for_o man_n upon_o a_o cross_n this_o beauty_n be_v not_o in_o his_o visage_n now_o all_o disfigure_v but_o in_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n which_o be_v here_o all_o in_o splendour_n and_o in_o the_o triumph_n of_o a_o incomparable_a love_n which_o sacrifice_v his_o most_o precious_a life_n for_o our_o redemption_n the_o eternal_a father_n be_v much_o delight_v with_o this_o beauty_n the_o bruise_n and_o wound_n and_o blood_n upon_o his_o sacred_a head_n and_o face_n do_v not_o make_v he_o disfigure_v in_o my_o eye_n because_o the_o beauty_n of_o divine_a justice_n which_o be_v thereby_o infinite_o glorify_v give_v he_o a_o grace_n which_o be_v unspeakable_a speciosus_fw-la forma_fw-la prae_fw-la filiis_fw-la hominum_fw-la in_o this_o state_n jesus_n appear_v to_o i_o the_o most_o beautiful_a of_o man_n and_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o take_v with_o jesus_n crucify_v that_o i_o can_v not_o but_o love_v he_o in_o the_o state_n of_o his_o annihilation_n the_o grace_n which_o this_o view_n leave_v in_o my_o soul_n be_v a_o particular_a esteem_n and_o love_n for_o suffering_n i_o see_v nothing_o more_o beautiful_a see_v they_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o ornament_n to_o god_n himself_o and_o render_v he_o a_o object_n of_o singular_a complacency_n to_o his_o eternal_a father_n jesus_n have_v sanctify_v the_o state_n of_o poverty_n contempt_n and_o suffering_n through_o which_o he_o pass_v to_o make_v they_o source_n of_o grace_n to_o such_o soul_n as_o love_v they_o for_o his_o sake_n if_o the_o holy_a place_n where_o christ_n be_v on_o earth_n be_v in_o singular_a veneration_n much_o more_o ought_v the_o state_n of_o jesus_n christ_n if_o the_o man_n of_o the_o world_n think_v it_o a_o great_a honour_n to_o participate_v of_o the_o grandeur_n of_o their_o prince_n how_o happy_a and_o honourable_a ought_v a_o true_a christian_n to_o think_v himself_o to_o be_v if_o he_o be_v partaker_n of_o the_o humiliation_n of_o the_o king_n of_o glory_n the_o crown_n and_o sceptre_n be_v the_o glory_n of_o a_o king_n poverty_n contempt_n and_o suffering_n be_v the_o glory_n of_o a_o servant_n of_o jesus_n christ_n in_o my_o three_o prayer_n i_o be_v pierce_v with_o a_o wonderful_a feel_n at_o the_o sight_n of_o jesus_n suffer_v and_o die_v on_o the_o cross_n be_v not_o able_a to_o comprehend_v how_o the_o infinite_a majesty_n of_o a_o god_n shall_v condescend_v so_o low_a i_o say_v o_o my_o jesus_n why_o do_v you_o not_o rather_o let_v all_o man_n perish_v for_o it_o be_v more_o just_a beyond_o comparison_n that_o man_n shall_v be_v lose_v be_v guilty_a than_o you_o suffer_v be_v most_o innocent_a but_o in_o this_o triumph_n of_o your_o love_n you_o have_v no_o regard_n to_o yourself_o but_o to_o satisfy_v divine_a justice_n and_o that_o infinite_a charity_n you_o have_v for_o your_o poor_a brethren_n in_o their_o miserable_a condition_n suffer_v then_o even_o the_o death_n of_o the_o cross_n see_v dear_a jesus_n it_o be_v your_o pleasure_n i_o consider_v the_o eternal_a obligation_n we_o have_v to_o jesus_n christ_n in_o that_o he_o die_v for_o our_o salvation_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o hitherto_o i_o have_v be_v as_o in_o darkness_n in_o regard_n to_o this_o incomparable_a benefit_n jesus_n christ_n be_v our_o true_a and_o faithful_a friend_n indeed_o and_o yet_o alas_o he_o be_v neither_o know_v nor_o regard_v as_o
with_o i_o after_o communion_n be_v 1._o jesus_n enter_v into_o my_o mouth_n veil_v with_o the_o sacramental_a species_n i_o sacrifice_n to_o he_o all_o my_o be_v my_o faculty_n and_o operation_n in_o homage_n to_o his_o grandeur_n and_o after_o this_o act_n i_o remain_v quite_o annihilate_v and_o passive_a to_o jesus_n operate_a towards_o his_o heavenly_a father_n love_n respect_n and_o praise_n towards_o myself_o death_n annihilation_n and_o alliance_n with_o his_o divine_a life_n 2._o a_o second_o disposition_n after_o the_o holy_a communion_n be_v that_o jesus_n enter_v into_o i_o present_o operate_v a_o straight_a union_n at_o that_o time_n i_o have_v no_o sight_n of_o any_o that_o may_v annihilate_v i_o only_o at_o first_o he_o unite_v i_o to_o the_o state_n of_o his_o humanity_n in_o its_o poverty_n and_o abjection_n the_o contempt_n labour_n and_o suffering_n of_o his_o mortal_a life_n and_o be_v hereby_o purify_v next_o he_o draw_v i_o to_o a_o union_n with_o the_o state_n of_o his_o divinity_n that_o be_v to_o say_v to_o render_v to_o his_o eternal_a father_n love_n praise_n and_o complacency_n in_o his_o grandeur_n 3._o another_o time_n after_o holy_a communion_n these_o great_a word_n of_o our_o lord_n present_v themselves_o to_o my_o mind_n to_o serve_v for_o my_o entertainment_n rogo_fw-la pater_fw-la ut_fw-la sint_fw-la consummati_fw-la in_o unum_fw-la father_n i_o beseech_v you_o that_o they_o may_v be_v consummate_v in_o one_o they_o disclose_v to_o i_o a_o little_a of_o that_o perfect_a unity_n or_o consummate_v union_n that_o ought_v to_o be_v contract_v between_o jesus_n and_o we_o his_o love_n require_v that_o our_o soul_n shall_v be_v confirm_v in_o that_o union_n by_o the_o frequent_a use_n of_o the_o holy_a communion_n and_o that_o they_o act_n continual_o according_a to_o the_o condition_n of_o this_o alliance_n from_o whence_o they_o fall_v by_o the_o least_o infidelity_n and_o very_o much_o offend_v god_n who_o see_v himself_o neglect_v and_o as_o it_o be_v contemn_v and_o postponed_n to_o creature_n after_o he_o have_v call_v they_o to_o so_o perfect_a a_o union_n and_o come_v express_o to_o work_v it_o in_o they_o wherefore_o a_o perfect_a union_n require_v that_o our_o heart_n be_v unite_v the_o most_o continual_o that_o possible_o it_o can_v and_o that_o it_o tend_v incessant_o to_o a_o unity_n of_o love_n with_o jesus_n christ_n to_o a_o unity_n of_o instinct_n of_o inclination_n of_o desire_n and_o to_o a_o great_a conformity_n with_o the_o condition_n of_o his_o mortal_a life_n which_o be_v that_o whereby_o we_o be_v to_o walk_v during_o our_o present_a life_n if_o we_o desire_v to_o arrive_v to_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o his_o divine_a life_n 4._o sometime_o after_o communicate_v i_o have_v have_v this_o representation_n in_o my_o mind_n that_o jesus_n give_v himself_o to_o i_o seem_v to_o speak_v to_o i_o but_o without_o any_o kind_n of_o word_n for_o the_o sole_a manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n impart_v to_o the_o soul_n be_v in_o lieu_n of_o speak_v and_o the_o soul_n answer_v by_o acquiescence_n and_o admiration_n that_o can_v be_v express_v in_o effect_n the_o soul_n in_o this_o state_n do_v not_o understand_v any_o interiour_n word_n after_o the_o manner_n that_o mystique_a divine_n explain_v they_o in_o their_o write_n but_o the_o lively_a and_o clear_a representation_n that_o be_v make_v to_o she_o of_o the_o state_n of_o jesus_n in_o each_o mystery_n without_o any_o thing_n else_o serve_v she_o for_o discourse_n while_o she_o be_v in_o this_o condition_n it_o seem_v to_o she_o that_o jesus_n say_v hear_v daughter_n and_o see_v and_o forget_v your_o people_n and_o the_o house_n of_o your_o father_n to_o enter_v into_o a_o imitation_n of_o i_o to_o which_o word_n the_o soul_n make_v answer_v by_o acquiessing_n and_o without_o any_o noise_n in_o she_o interiour_n she_o signify_v her_o acceptance_n by_o a_o most_o efficatious_a consent_n she_o hear_v by_o see_v and_o jesus_n speak_v by_o manifest_v himself_o another_o while_n at_o the_o communion_n i_o have_v a_o general_a view_n of_o the_o multitude_n of_o the_o great_a wonder_n that_o jesus_n operate_v in_o these_o mystery_n of_o faith_n in_o favour_n of_o man_n with_o who_o he_o take_v his_o delight_n this_o general_a view_n raise_v i_o to_o a_o high_a admiration_n which_o nevertheless_o terminate_v in_o a_o sense_n of_o a_o most_o profound_a acknowledgement_n of_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n see_v that_o all_o these_o wonder_n tend_v to_o no_o other_o end_n than_o to_o manifest_v unto_o we_o the_o intenseness_n of_o the_o love_n he_o bear_v we_o and_o import_v that_o he_o expect_v love_n for_o love_n that_o be_v your_o only_a design_n my_o good_a jesus_n in_o bestow_v on_o i_o this_o divine_a food_n to_o bestow_v on_o i_o the_o life_n of_o your_o love_n but_o this_o life_n may_v very_o well_o cause_n my_o death_n o_o love_n love_n love_n be_v all_o that_o i_o can_v then_o say_v be_v strike_v dumb_a with_o admiration_n chap._n vi_o another_o method_n of_o thanksgiving_n after_o communion_n i_o find_v a_o great_a gust_n in_o the_o understanding_n of_o these_o word_n fortis_fw-la est_fw-la ut_fw-la mors_fw-la dilectio_fw-la love_n be_v strong_a as_o death_n methinks_v i_o see_v they_o practical_o verify_v in_o the_o holy_a communion_n where_o i_o see_v that_o love_n have_v reduce_v jesus_n to_o the_o state_n of_o death_n and_o of_o a_o sacrifice_n immolate_a as_o death_n reduce_v he_o upon_o mount_n calvary_n i_o consider_v that_o while_o his_o love_n sever_v he_o from_o the_o splendour_n of_o his_o glory_n to_o unite_v himself_o to_o i_o it_o excite_v i_o at_o the_o same_o time_n to_o separate_v myself_o from_o creature_n from_o myself_o and_o from_o all_o other_o thing_n thereby_o to_o unite_v myself_o to_o he_o alone_o my_o soul_n thorough_o penetrate_v with_o a_o desire_n to_o correspond_v with_o this_o design_n of_o her_o belove_a jesus_n and_o clear_o discern_v that_o the_o love_n of_o cross_n and_o contempt_n be_v necessary_a to_o dispose_v and_o prepare_v she_o for_o this_o great_a favour_n she_o look_v on_o they_o with_o affection_n and_o delight_n as_o so_o many_o spring_n whence_o flow_v her_o happiness_n another_o wonder_n which_o sometime_o my_o mind_n have_v be_v intent_n upon_o and_o receive_v great_a comfort_n from_o it_o be_v the_o infinite_a desire_n that_o god_n have_v to_o communicate_v himself_o and_o to_o lift_v we_o up_o to_o a_o full_a participation_n of_o his_o divinity_n this_o view_n well_o penetrate_v into_o discover_v so_o many_o wonder_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n towards_o man_n of_o the_o felicity_n to_o which_o they_o be_v destine_v after_o the_o misery_n of_o this_o world_n of_o the_o dignity_n of_o their_o creation_n since_o the_o end_n for_o which_o they_o be_v make_v be_v to_o possess_v god_n of_o the_o infinite_a desire_n god_n have_v to_o unite_v himself_o to_o they_o and_o of_o the_o perfect_a correspond_v and_o compliance_n they_o be_v from_o thence_o oblige_v to_o especial_o such_o soul_n as_o be_v choose_v and_o in_o a_o particular_a manner_n call_v to_o this_o state_n that_o after_o all_o this_o it_o be_v scarce_o possible_a to_o resist_v such_o cogent_a impulse_n and_o attractive_n of_o god_n they_o make_v one_o desire_v to_o die_v to_o all_o thing_n the_o better_a to_o prepare_v for_o so_o great_a a_o work_n of_o love_n the_o hurry_v and_o business_n of_o the_o world_n be_v not_o to_o be_v any_o long_o endure_v and_o one_o become_v passionate_o in_o love_n with_o solitude_n my_o soul_n reflect_v diligent_o upon_o the_o grace_n be_v give_v thou_o and_o correspond_v to_o the_o love_n of_o god_n towards_o thou_o which_o thou_o be_v now_o so_o thorough_o acquaint_v with_o thou_o have_v no_o other_o business_n but_o this_o for_o thou_o must_v never_o betake_v thyself_o to_o any_o other_o employment_n unless_o thou_o receive_v express_v order_n from_o god_n for_o it_o the_o more_o one_o be_v estrange_v from_o creature_n the_o better_a a_o soul_n be_v dispose_v to_o this_o divine_a union_n wherefore_o disgrace_n ought_v to_o be_v our_o felicity_n because_o they_o be_v the_o mean_n to_o obtain_v it_o the_o cross_n purity_n of_o love_n union_n god_n alone_o these_o be_v the_o degree_n that_o grace_n lead_v we_o through_o and_o our_o fidelity_n call_v we_o to_o there_o be_v also_o another_o good_a method_n of_o give_v thanks_o after_o communion_n which_o consist_v in_o abandon_v and_o resign_v ourselves_o absolute_o and_o without_o reserve_v to_o the_o power_n and_o dependence_n of_o jesus_n christ_n who_o come_v into_o our_o heart_n aught_o to_o be_v master_n there_o and_o command_v as_o sovereign_n when_o it_o please_v he_o to_o continue_v with_o a_o soul_n to_o entertain_v she_o and_o to_o unite_v she_o to_o he_o by_o a_o most_o delightful_a feel_n of_o his_o presence_n we_o must_v not_o think_v that_o
true_a these_o be_v cross_n and_o cruel_a persecution_n but_o if_o we_o bear_v they_o faithful_o with_o love_n it_o be_v a_o martyrdom_n please_v to_o god_n and_o profitable_a to_o we_o the_o persecute_v tyrant_n tempt_v the_o primitive_a christian_n sometime_o against_o their_o faith_n sometime_o against_o their_o chastity_n which_o be_v glorious_a trial_n of_o their_o fidelity_n o_o how_o bless_v a_o thing_n be_v it_o to_o fight_v for_o that_o faith_n and_o fidelity_n we_o owe_v to_o god_n o_o what_o lovely_a charm_n be_v there_o in_o this_o martyrdom_n to_o those_o who_o behold_v they_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o faith_n chap._n v._o of_o exterior_a cross_n by_o the_o loss_n of_o good_n be_v in_o a_o friend_n house_n who_o serve_v god_n true_o news_n be_v bring_v i_o that_o the_o soldier_n have_v cease_v upon_o all_o my_o good_n at_o home_o and_o bless_v be_v god_n it_o little_o trouble_v i_o but_o rather_o i_o rejoice_v and_o put_v myself_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n to_o do_v what_o he_o please_v with_o i_o prepare_v my_o heart_n to_o undergo_v great_a loss_n content_o i_o be_v much_o comfort_v by_o my_o friend_n and_o i_o go_v home_o full_a of_o joy_n and_o cheerfulness_n account_v myself_o happy_a that_o divine_a providence_n have_v bring_v i_o to_o poverty_n and_o abjection_n and_o i_o say_v with_o myself_o courage_n my_o soul_n our_o bless_a saviour_n continue_v his_o mercy_n poverty_n and_o abjection_n will_v afford_v we_o wing_n to_o flee_v to_o perfection_n behold_v now_o be_v the_o opportunity_n to_o make_v great_a progress_n in_o virtue_n if_o we_o be_v but_o faithful_a it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o at_o this_o time_n few_o person_n pity_v i_o and_o yet_o they_o talk_v of_o my_o affliction_n as_o no_o ordinary_a trial_n they_o blame_v i_o in_o some_o sort_n of_o proceed_n and_o after_o all_o i_o find_v myself_o a_o abject_a and_o little_a consider_v i_o can_v never_o consent_v to_o the_o council_n of_o those_o who_o will_v have_v i_o either_o yield_v to_o anger_n or_o discontent_n for_o i_o always_o think_v i_o ought_v not_o to_o part_v with_o that_o meekness_n and_o humility_n which_o become_v a_o christian_n for_o the_o great_a temporal_a loss_n that_o can_v happen_v to_o i_o i_o consider_v with_o myself_o that_o these_o little_a cross_n be_v hardly_o to_o be_v name_v with_o those_o that_o they_o suffer_v who_o be_v torment_v with_o anguish_n of_o spirit_n or_o those_o who_o be_v slave_n under_o the_o turk_n or_o such_o who_o be_v put_v to_o death_n with_o grievous_a torture_n that_o which_o i_o suffer_v be_v nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o those_o poor_a creature_n for_o i_o instead_o of_o be_v contristate_v by_o suffer_v find_v a_o certain_a joy_n to_o possess_v my_o heart_n and_o a_o great_a desire_n to_o suffer_v more_o hereupon_o one_o tell_v i_o that_o our_o saviour_n send_v i_o cross_v adorn_v with_o flower_n which_o though_o they_o take_v not_o away_o their_o heaviness_n yet_o their_o odour_n do_v refresh_v and_o strengthen_v i_o to_o bear_v they_o this_o persecution_n continue_v i_o find_v myself_o always_o dispose_v to_o suffer_v it_o with_o great_a interiour_n peace_n and_o i_o keep_v my_o soul_n from_o harbour_v any_o thought_n of_o bitterness_n against_o those_o who_o assist_v my_o plunderer_n i_o salute_v they_o with_o a_o cordial_a love_n although_o nature_n have_v a_o repugnance_n to_o their_o proceed_n i_o behold_v with_o contentment_n the_o fall_n of_o our_o family_n how_o our_o friend_n do_v forsake_v we_o and_o some_o treat_v we_o very_o unworthy_o and_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o think_v it_o a_o misfortune_n but_o a_o signal_n favour_n from_o the_o hand_n of_o providence_n and_o i_o do_v not_o complain_v but_o digest_v all_o this_o bitter_a cup_n with_o interiour_n joy_n o_o bona_fw-la crux_fw-la o_o good_a cross_n the_o word_n of_o st._n andrew_n seem_v to_o i_o very_o true_a o_o how_o cross_n be_v good_a though_o full_a of_o bitterness_n we_o ought_v to_o love_v what_o be_v good_a and_o make_v much_o of_o it_o in_o reality_n there_o be_v a_o exquisite_a goodness_n in_o suffering_n and_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o cross_n be_v wonderful_a savorous_a for_o at_o last_o we_o shall_v find_v that_o the_o degree_n of_o glory_n shall_v be_v according_a to_o the_o measure_n of_o our_o suffering_n and_o degree_n of_o love_n i_o be_v then_o tell_v some_o mean_n how_o to_o get_v out_o of_o this_o suffer_a condition_n nature_n begin_v to_o resent_v this_o with_o some_o joy_n but_o grace_n repress_v it_o stifle_v this_o emotion_n of_o nature_n that_o i_o may_v have_v no_o joy_n but_o in_o god_n alone_o and_o in_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o his_o good_a pleasure_n chap._n vi_o disposition_n during_o sickness_n where_o the_o body_n suffer_v and_o the_o soul_n rejoice_v god_n have_v be_v please_v to_o make_v i_o enjoy_v during_o my_o sickness_n a_o interiour_n peace_n so_o profound_a and_o great_a that_o i_o be_v altogether_o astonish_v at_o it_o consider_v my_o misery_n and_o former_a transgression_n i_o say_v within_o myself_o what_o be_v this_o that_o i_o find_v within_o i_o how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n shall_v be_v thus_o content_a and_o satisfy_v for_o my_o soul_n be_v in_o a_o perfect_a calm_a from_o all_o her_o passion_n feel_v nothing_o but_o a_o pure_a and_o total_a union_n to_o the_o good_a pleasure_n of_o god_n and_o a_o absolute_a abandon_v of_o myself_o to_o the_o conduct_n of_o divine_a love_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o some_o day_n before_o this_o sickness_n i_o be_v in_o a_o disposition_n of_o extraordinary_a peace_n and_o tranquillity_n and_o one_o day_n after_o dinner_n i_o be_v take_v with_o a_o continual_a fever_n accompany_v with_o much_o head_n ache_n and_o pain_n throughout_o all_o my_o body_n but_o divine_a love_n methought_n continue_v his_o operation_n and_o set_v i_o all_o a_o flame_n with_o holy_a fire_n so_o that_o i_o often_o cry_v out_o o_o love_n o_o love_n o_o love_n and_o can_v say_v nothing_o else_o when_o i_o seem_v as_o a_o die_a man_n my_o friend_n weep_v about_o i_o and_o every_o one_o say_v i_o can_v hardly_o recover_v my_o soul_n behold_v all_o this_o without_o be_v touch_v with_o any_o sentiment_n of_o regret_n or_o tenderness_n for_o my_o friend_n be_v whole_o take_v up_o with_o divine_a love_n which_o do_v so_o entire_o unite_v i_o to_o the_o good_a pleasure_n of_o god_n that_o methinks_v i_o can_v never_o be_v separate_v from_o it_o it_o be_v no_o part_n of_o my_o care_n to_o beg_v for_o my_o life_n and_o one_o of_o my_o friend_n propose_v to_o send_v i_o some_o relic_n of_o saint_n which_o have_v do_v miraculous_a cure_n i_o only_o thank_v he_o for_o though_o i_o have_v no_o small_a veneration_n for_o they_o yet_o i_o have_v no_o mind_n to_o make_v use_n of_o they_o for_o my_o recovery_n but_o i_o will_v whole_o put_v myself_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o divine_a love_n and_o leave_v myself_o entire_o to_o the_o conduct_n thereof_o whether_o for_o life_n or_o death_n for_o time_n or_o eternity_n in_o this_o extreme_a weakness_n of_o body_n my_o soul_n find_v herself_o victorious_a and_o triumphant_a to_o see_v that_o fall_n of_o pain_n and_o herself_o full_a of_o love_n and_o instead_o of_o be_v compassionate_a seem_v to_o i_o to_o smile_v at_o these_o suffering_n this_o be_v a_o extraordinary_a effect_n of_o love_n that_o in_o this_o great_a weakness_n of_o body_n my_o soul_n keep_v up_o her_o strength_n and_o especial_o that_o the_o great_a pain_n of_o my_o head_n do_v not_o hinder_v she_o interiour_n occupation_n this_o disposition_n of_o love_n continue_v as_o long_o as_o my_o sickness_n and_o i_o entertain_v my_o friend_n with_o little_a consideration_n and_o i_o believe_v with_o too_o much_o talk_v fear_v now_o to_o have_v discover_v then_o too_o much_o those_o holy_a fire_n that_o inflame_v my_o heart_n and_o that_o self-love_n make_v i_o declare_v too_o free_o my_o inward_a feeling_n my_o thought_n now_o make_v i_o suspect_v this_o defect_n but_o be_v inebriate_v with_o love_n i_o say_v i_o know_v not_o what_o be_v like_o a_o drunken_a man_n that_o for_o a_o time_n forget_v his_o poverty_n and_o misery_n so_o in_o this_o disposition_n i_o forget_v my_o sin_n and_o extreme_a frailty_n and_o cast_v myself_o into_o the_o arm_n of_o love_n that_o i_o may_v be_v unite_v with_o my_o well-beloved_a and_o enjoy_v his_o reciprocal_a embrace_n i_o have_v a_o care_n to_o examine_v my_o conscience_n and_o confess_v my_o sin_n as_o a_o die_a man_n and_o set_v in_o order_n my_o temporal_a affair_n to_o pass_v to_o eternity_n find_v myself_o not_o able_a to_o give_v much_o to_o the_o poor_a it_o be_v a_o joy_n to_o i_o to_o die_v in_o poverty_n and_o i_o be_v as_o well_o content_a to_o give_v
nothing_o as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o bestow_v much_o on_o pious_a use_n the_o love_n of_o jesus_n poor_a and_o despise_a do_v deep_o pierce_v my_o heart_n and_o to_o satisfy_v myself_o therein_o i_o make_v they_o bring_v to_o i_o a_o poor_a infant_n in_o who_o methinks_v i_o see_v the_o poverty_n of_o little_a jesus_n and_o kiss_v his_o hand_n i_o render_v what_o homage_n i_o can_v desire_v to_o love_v poor_a jesus_n to_o my_o last_o breath_n i_o acknowledge_v dear_a jesus_n that_o i_o be_o very_o unworthy_a of_o your_o divine_a state_n but_o alas_o must_v i_o die_v without_o enter_v effectual_o into_o the_o poverty_n and_o abjection_n of_o your_o mortal_a life_n at_o least_o o_o good_a jesus_n i_o die_v with_o that_o love_n and_o respect_n i_o ought_v to_o have_v for_o they_o and_o be_v please_v to_o accept_v of_o that_o conformity_n i_o desire_v to_o have_v for_o they_o i_o remember_v that_o pray_v on_o sunday_n in_o the_o evening_n the_o day_n before_o i_o fall_v sick_a at_o the_o carme_n church_n where_o i_o be_v at_o vesper_n our_o bless_a saviour_n put_v these_o word_n into_o my_o mind_n christo_fw-la confixus_fw-la sum_fw-la cruci_fw-la i_o be_o fasten_v to_o christ_n on_o the_o cross_n whereupon_o i_o feel_v a_o ardent_a desire_n to_o have_v not_o one_o moment_n of_o my_o life_n without_o be_v able_a to_o say_v i_o be_o crucify_a with_o jesus_n christ_n i_o think_v this_o divine_a love_n do_v then_o dispose_v i_o to_o be_v nail_v on_o the_o cross_n and_o in_o effect_n my_o sickness_n beginning_n with_o a_o grievous_a headache_n which_o make_v my_o eye_n to_o be_v swell_v with_o pain_n it_o come_v into_o my_o mind_n that_o i_o may_v on_o this_o occasion_n honour_n the_o crown_n of_o our_o saviour_n with_o thorn_n and_o it_o be_v some_o contentment_n to_o i_o to_o have_v any_o conformity_n to_o this_o dolorous_a state_n of_o jesus_n and_o as_o my_o pain_n do_v extend_v to_o all_o part_n of_o my_o body_n i_o imagine_v it_o have_v some_o little_a resemblance_n to_o the_o state_n of_o a_o body_n crucify_a thus_o you_o have_v a_o account_n of_o my_o disposition_n in_o this_o sickness_n which_o i_o have_v do_v in_o obedience_n to_o the_o command_n impose_v on_o i_o perhaps_o they_o be_v explicate_v with_o too_o much_o advantage_n but_o the_o relation_n be_v true_a as_o to_o the_o substance_n bless_v therefore_o with_o i_o the_o god_n of_o mercy_n who_o have_v be_v please_v to_o be_v so_o bountiful_a to_o his_o most_o ungrateful_a creature_n but_o it_o beseemed_a his_o goodness_n to_o glorify_v his_o mercy_n by_o the_o greatness_n of_o my_o misery_n this_o then_o be_v my_o comfort_n and_o i_o can_v but_o declare_v his_o bounty_n to_o i_o and_o say_v venite_fw-la &_o videte_fw-la omnes_fw-la qui_fw-la timetis_fw-la deum_fw-la quanta_fw-la fecit_fw-la dominus_fw-la animae_fw-la meae_fw-la come_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o see_v what_o great_a thing_n he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n chap._n vii_o other_o disposition_n in_o the_o time_n of_o sickness_n where_o both_o body_n and_o soul_n be_v on_o the_o cross_n i_o begin_v to_o go_v out_o of_o that_o state_n wherein_o i_o have_v be_v more_o than_o five_o week_n my_o corruptible_a body_n do_v bring_v down_o the_o soul_n as_o it_o be_v to_o nothing_o so_o that_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n either_o to_o know_v or_o love_n god_n of_o who_o methinks_v my_o soul_n have_v little_a or_o no_o remembrance_n see_v myself_o in_o this_o state_n of_o incapacity_n i_o remain_v without_o any_o other_o prospect_n but_o of_o my_o own_o nothing_o and_o depth_n of_o my_o misery_n be_v amaze_v at_o the_o strange_a weakness_n of_o a_o soul_n when_o leave_v to_o herself_o this_o thought_n which_o whole_o take_v up_o my_o soul_n proceed_v from_o a_o certain_a experience_n rather_o than_o any_o light_n in_o the_o understanding_n till_o god_n bring_v my_o soul_n to_o this_o point_n she_o do_v not_o well_o know_v she_o own_o weakness_n but_o now_o she_o discover_v a_o thousand_o false_a opinion_n and_o vain_a esteem_v she_o have_v of_o herself_o of_o her_o light_n sentiment_n and_o devotion_n she_o see_v now_o she_o have_v some_o secret_a reliance_n on_o something_o beside_o god_n which_o she_o do_v not_o perceive_v till_o this_o state_n of_o privation_n what_o thus_o pass_v in_o i_o be_v the_o effect_n of_o a_o natural_a malady_n which_o nevertheless_o bring_v i_o to_o nothing_o and_o much_o humble_v i_o for_o i_o be_v in_o so_o great_a a_o forgetfulness_n of_o god_n that_o you_o may_v be_v astonish_v at_o it_o and_o i_o will_v have_v hardly_o believe_v that_o a_o soul_n have_v receive_v so_o many_o sensible_a testimony_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n can_v ever_o have_v so_o long_a a_o privation_n of_o actual_a love_n by_o reason_n of_o her_o former_a negligence_n and_o infidelity_n what_o vast_a difference_n be_v there_o between_o my_o former_a and_o this_o sickness_n in_o that_o my_o soul_n be_v all_o inflame_v with_o divine_a love_n luminous_a vigorous_a far_o above_o any_o disturbance_n from_o the_o body_n in_o this_o she_o be_v cold_a and_o dark_a yea_o darkness_n itself_o feeble_a infirm_a depress_v and_o overburdened_a with_o mortal_a flesh_n we_o discover_v our_o nothing_n and_o frailty_n in_o prayer_n but_o the_o light_n and_o gust_n that_o we_o receive_v therein_o hinder_v we_o from_o be_v sensible_a of_o they_o what_o make_v we_o feel_v they_o to_o the_o quick_a must_v be_v some_o extraordinary_a affliction_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o nothing_o be_v then_o prevalent_a in_o i_o but_o sentiment_n of_o impatience_n and_o inclination_n to_o peevishness_n but_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n i_o do_v not_o always_o consent_v to_o they_o though_o they_o often_o molest_v i_o i_o be_v somewhat_o encourage_v by_o the_o relation_n of_o the_o happy_a death_n of_o two_o father_n of_o the_o society_n who_o end_v their_o day_n in_o the_o exercise_n of_o charity_n after_o they_o have_v assist_v the_o soldier_n many_o year_n attend_v they_o in_o their_o malady_n and_o dolorous_a necessity_n to_o help_v they_o to_o live_v well_o and_o die_v happy_o at_o last_o they_o die_v of_o the_o plague_n and_o desire_v passionate_o to_o suffer_v one_o of_o they_o give_v great_a stroke_n with_o his_o fist_n upon_o his_o soar_n to_o endure_v something_o more_o for_o jesus_n christ_n who_o they_o both_o love_v with_o most_o ardent_a affection_n it_o be_v say_v our_o bless_a saviour_n appear_v to_o they_o at_o the_o point_n of_o death_n to_o crown_v they_o and_o make_v they_o happy_a with_o his_o presence_n after_o which_o they_o die_v smile_v full_a of_o joy_n and_o consolation_n this_o do_v much_o comfort_v i_o extreme_o rejoice_v at_o their_o happiness_n in_o that_o they_o die_v in_o the_o service_n of_o the_o hospital_n for_o soldier_n after_o they_o have_v continual_o endanger_v their_o life_n by_o expose_v they_o to_o the_o mouth_n of_o musket_n and_o canon_n and_o a_o thousand_o incommodity_n of_o soul_n and_o body_n by_o the_o care_n and_o solicitude_n incumbent_a on_o they_o o_o how_o glorious_a be_v their_o death_n o_o the_o amiable_a suffering_n that_o bring_v they_o to_o it_o what_o be_v my_o little_a suffering_n in_o comparison_n of_o these_o what_o a_o shame_n be_v it_o for_o i_o to_o feel_v so_o much_o repugnance_n to_o endure_v they_o alas_o i_o consider_v that_o there_o be_v not_o a_o day_n in_o the_o year_n wherein_o the_o church_n do_v not_o make_v particular_a commemoration_n of_o many_o martyr_n who_o have_v have_v the_o zeal_n and_o courage_n to_o give_v up_o their_o life_n for_o jesus_n christ_n who_o die_v for_o they_o that_o they_o may_v honour_v his_o suffering_n by_o the_o torment_v they_o endure_v for_o his_o sake_n some_o have_v be_v expose_v to_o be_v devour_v by_o beast_n other_o break_v upon_o the_o wheel_n other_o burn_v alive_a other_o nail_v to_o cross_n and_o all_o have_v be_v miraculous_a by_o embrace_v with_o joy_n and_o cheerfulness_n the_o cruel_a of_o death_n that_o most_o barbarous_a tyrant_n can_v invent_v to_o make_v they_o miserable_a o_o good_a jesus_n i_o see_v all_o these_o go_v by_o the_o way_n of_o the_o cross_n to_o come_v to_o the_o perfection_n of_o divine_a love_n and_o i_o stay_v behind_o as_o one_o abandon_v and_o unworthy_a to_o suffer_v for_o you_o what_o can_v i_o then_o do_v o_o bless_a saviour_n for_o you_o have_v say_v that_o he_o who_o will_v not_o take_v up_o his_o cross_n to_o follow_v you_o be_v not_o worthy_a to_o be_v your_o disciple_n o_o love_n crucify_v i_o burn_v i_o martyr_v i_o si_fw-mi non_fw-la per_fw-la martyrium_fw-la carnis_fw-la saltem_fw-la per_fw-la incendium_fw-la cordis_fw-la if_o not_o by_o sacrifice_v my_o body_n yet_o by_o sacrifice_v my_o heart_n and_o let_v my_o affectionate_a desire_n to_o suffer_v make_v my_o life_n and_o
produce_v in_o her_o admirable_a effect_n to_o have_v taste_v of_o they_o once_o or_o twice_o be_v sufficient_a to_o make_v her_o rich_a by_o infuse_v into_o her_o understanding_n a_o certitude_n of_o the_o mystery_n of_o our_o holy_a faith_n and_o inflame_v the_o will_n with_o ardent_a and_o solid_a affection_n to_o practice_v virtue_n and_o thus_o she_o know_v more_o of_o god_n in_o a_o moment_n than_o before_o she_o do_v in_o many_o month_n by_o these_o extraordinary_a grace_n a_o soul_n be_v more_o convince_v and_o dispose_v to_o suffer_v contempt_n and_o poverty_n and_o leave_v all_o thing_n to_o follow_v christ_n than_o by_o a_o thousand_o discursive_a meditation_n however_o god_n do_v not_o cease_v to_o communicate_v these_o effect_n by_o other_o way_n as_o by_o spiritual_a lecture_n holy_a conference_n meditation_n etc._n etc._n but_o when_o god_n be_v please_v to_o work_v all_o by_o himself_o in_o a_o soul_n he_o do_v much_o for_o she_o in_o a_o little_a time_n one_o of_o the_o principal_a virtue_n that_o this_o state_n imprint_n in_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o draw_v she_o to_o god_n and_o keep_v she_o with_o he_o so_o that_o she_o be_v more_o in_o he_o than_o herself_o divine_a love_n be_v a_o weight_n that_o always_o carry_v she_o to_o her_o well-beloved_a amor_fw-la meus_fw-la pondus_fw-la meum_fw-la if_o a_o great_a prince_n shall_v send_v some_o magnificent_a present_n to_o one_o of_o his_o poor_a subject_n this_o will_v give_v he_o more_o knowledge_n of_o his_o prince_n royal_a grandeur_n and_o bounty_n than_o to_o send_v he_o all_o the_o orator_n of_o his_o realm_n to_o set_v forth_o his_o greatness_n by_o their_o eloquence_n so_o a_o soul_n know_v more_o of_o god_n by_o the_o aforesaid_a favour_n than_o by_o the_o large_a discourse_n of_o famous_a preacher_n these_o extraordinary_a favour_n be_v not_o necessary_a to_o salvation_n nor_o yet_o to_o perfection_n but_o very_o advantageous_a to_o confirm_v we_o in_o grace_n for_o these_o more_o special_a communication_n work_v in_o the_o soul_n this_o admirable_a repose_n and_o sweet_a calmness_n to_o dispose_v she_o for_o the_o receipt_n of_o great_a grace_n which_o bring_v she_o to_o a_o more_o intimate_a union_n wherein_o she_o suck_v from_o the_o bosom_n of_o the_o divinity_n a_o sweetness_n ineffable_a strengthen_v purify_n and_o comfort_v when_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o in_o this_o quiet_a let_v she_o do_v what_o she_o can_v no_o endeavour_n of_o she_o can_v procure_v it_o if_o god_n send_v it_o let_v we_o receive_v it_o if_o he_o send_v it_o not_o we_o must_v be_v patient_a and_o prepare_v ourselves_o thereto_o by_o the_o exercise_n of_o mortificacation_n and_o pure_a virtue_n according_a to_o the_o grace_n betstow_v upon_o we_o have_v be_v in_o this_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a many_o day_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v take_v from_o i_o for_o contest_v a_o little_a with_o my_o friend_n to_o persuade_v he_o to_o prevent_v another_o with_o a_o charitable_a courtesy_n o_o my_o god_n how_o nice_a and_o delicate_a a_o thing_n be_v grace_n and_o the_o great_a the_o grace_n it_o be_v the_o more_o delicate_a i_o learn_v by_o this_o substraction_n how_o poor_a a_o thing_n a_o creature_n be_v how_o unable_a we_o be_v of_o ourselves_o to_o retain_v your_o grace_n and_o to_o see_v that_o this_o also_o proceed_v from_o grace_n i_o will_v hereafter_o make_v it_o my_o work_n to_o love_v pure_a virtue_n and_o practice_v perfect_a mortification_n chap._n xvii_o of_o the_o intimate_a union_n of_o the_o love_n of_o the_o soul_n with_o god_n in_o prayer_n the_o wonderful_a secret_n of_o this_o disposition_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o prayer_n can_v hardly_o be_v express_v only_o we_o may_v call_v it_o the_o prayer_n of_o unity_n of_o love_n because_o herein_o the_o will_n feel_v no_o other_o love_n in_o her_o affection_n than_o that_o which_o god_n have_v for_o himself_o one_o only_a love_n seem_v sufficient_a for_o god_n and_o the_o love_a soul_n it_o be_v enough_o for_o she_o to_o adhere_v to_o he_o with_o great_a simplicity_n and_o unity_n with_o this_o only_a love_n which_o god_n have_v for_o his_o infinite_a beauty_n and_o perfection_n the_o particular_a love_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v absorb_v like_o a_o drop_n of_o water_n in_o the_o infinite_a ocean_n of_o his_o love_n by_o a_o union_n inexplicable_a and_o be_v so_o lose_v be_v find_v more_o perfect_a as_o a_o spark_n of_o fire_n in_o a_o little_a coal_n cast_v into_o a_o furnace_n give_v a_o heat_n infinite_o great_a than_o what_o it_o have_v of_o itself_o alone_o it_o seem_v to_o the_o soul_n that_o she_o do_v not_o love_n but_o god_n love_v himself_o in_o she_o and_o in_o this_o manner_n her_o will_n have_v such_o impression_n of_o the_o divine_a love_n have_v no_o other_o sentiment_n nor_o interiour_n disposition_n than_o those_o which_o god_n have_v for_o himself_o when_o she_o love_v god_n in_o this_o manner_n as_o he_o love_v himself_o she_o also_o hate_v sin_n in_o the_o same_o manner_n as_o god_n hate_v it_o by_o this_o ineffable_a union_n in_o this_o state_n of_o prayer_n the_o soul_n receive_v wonderful_a discovery_n of_o the_o admirable_a wisdom_n of_o god_n in_o his_o proceed_n about_o the_o redemption_n of_o mankind_n by_o the_o life_n and_o death_n of_o his_o son_n so_o full_a of_o suffering_n and_o abjection_n god_n love_v himself_o can_v but_o love_v the_o cross_n which_o satisfy_v his_o justice_n and_o the_o soul_n can_v but_o have_v a_o will_v to_o suffer_v see_v she_o be_v in_o the_o unity_n of_o love_n with_o god_n which_o unity_n must_v needs_o elevate_v the_o soul_n above_o nature_n and_o as_o the_o soul_n of_o jesus_n whole_o absorb_v in_o the_o love_n of_o his_o father_n do_v rejoice_v in_o his_o suffering_n and_o humiliation_n so_o if_o we_o be_v in_o the_o unity_n of_o this_o love_n contempt_n and_o mortification_n dolour_n and_o death_n itself_o will_v be_v lovely_a and_o desirable_a though_o quite_o contrary_a to_o our_o natural_a inclination_n this_o unity_n of_o love_n do_v so_o powerful_o constrain_v we_o to_o love_v suffering_n that_o i_o make_v little_a difference_n between_o love_n and_o the_o cross_n and_o i_o see_v so_o clear_o that_o all_o the_o counsel_n of_o jesus_n christ_n do_v so_o wonderful_o advance_v the_o purity_n of_o love_n that_o no_o natural_a aversion_n shall_v deter_v i_o from_o they_o i_o find_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o tacit_n consent_v of_o love_n to_o abandon_v myself_o to_o divine_a providence_n and_o not_o to_o disquiet_v myself_o about_o perfection_n for_o i_o must_v pacify_v all_o the_o emotion_n of_o my_o heart_n as_o well_o good_a as_o bad_a to_o be_v in_o so_o profound_a a_o peace_n as_o to_o attain_v this_o union_n when_o god_n be_v please_v to_o communicate_v to_o a_o soul_n this_o purity_n of_o love_n he_o dispose_v she_o to_o so_o great_a a_o favour_n by_o some_o suffering_n cross_n and_o humiliation_n he_o that_o know_v the_o riches_n of_o true_a love_n know_v these_o also_o for_o they_o be_v inseparable_a so_o that_o he_o who_o will_v not_o suffer_v can_v arrive_v to_o purity_n of_o love_n my_o prayer_n then_o tend_v to_o unite_v i_o intimate_o and_o continual_o to_o the_o only_a love_n wherewith_o god_n love_v himself_o and_o my_o soul_n have_v at_o present_a attract_v to_o nothing_o else_o in_o this_o love_n it_o seem_v to_o she_o she_o find_v the_o practice_n of_o all_o virtue_n in_o a_o more_o excellent_a manner_n than_o in_o themselves_o i_o know_v very_o well_o that_o love_n be_v a_o weight_n that_o continual_o carry_v the_o soul_n towards_o her_o belove_a object_n and_o my_o will_n bend_v always_o towards_o god_n it_o move_v thither_o by_o a_o long_a inclination_n full_a of_o love_n and_o sweetness_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o my_o understanding_n herein_o do_v not_o with_o its_o light_n assist_v my_o will_n for_o i_o find_v my_o affection_n all_o on_o fire_n and_o pant_v after_o god_n without_o any_o previous_a illustration_n i_o find_v i_o think_v divine_a love_n immediate_o work_v on_o my_o heart_n by_o such_o most_o secret_a touch_v as_o put_v i_o in_o a_o state_n of_o perfect_a union_n i_o find_v nothing_o to_o explicate_v this_o better_a than_o a_o needle_n touch_v by_o the_o adamant_n which_o then_o turn_v continual_o by_o a_o secret_a virtue_n to_o the_o pole_n and_o be_v unquiet_a till_o there_o it_o fix_v thus_o it_o stand_v with_o my_o soul_n be_v touch_v i_o know_v not_o how_o by_o divine_a love_n have_v no_o repose_n but_o by_o fix_v on_o god_n and_o part_v with_o all_o creature_n she_o gentle_o tend_v to_o her_o divine_a centre_n without_o any_o violence_n be_v sweet_o attract_v to_o a_o perfect_a union_n my_o understanding_n in_o this_o state_n see_v well_o enough_o what_o pass_v in_o my_o will_n and_o affection_n but_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o contribute_v